Art
Photography Poetry And More
Page 1 ~ Fall 2014
Page 2 ~ Fall 2014
Page 3 ~ Fall 2014
Page 4 ~ Fall 2014
Page 5 ~ Fall 2014
Dear Readers,
T
his has been a wild ride! Everyone came down with the
flu right before production was to begin and that messed
PARENTS INK ACCEPTS: ● Fiction ● Creative Nonfiction ● Poetry/Prose
up the whole schedule. However, it was a
● Essay
fantastic lesson in perseverance, prioritizing
● Article
of goals, and what we really want to do with this brain child of Parents Ink!
● How--To Article ● Recipes ● Product/Book/Movie Review ● Photography
I’m so pleased that we were able to come
● Graphic Art
together and give you a beautiful,
● Cartoon/Comic
thoughtful magazine that we hope will
● Images of physical art such as:
enrich your lives and encourage you to view
Painting
parenting as a creative adventure. Everyone
Sculpture
here is a parent or grandparent simply
Jewelry
wanting to share their gifts and talents with you. Enjoy!
Pottery Quilting Needlework
Best,
And More
Jeni Tetamore
Send all submissions to: parentsink@hotmail.com
Editor-in-Chief Page 6 ~ Fall 2014
Page 7 ~ Fall 2014
HELLO NUMBERS DISCOVERY PACK is a portable multisensory learning tool that reduces math anxiety by turning numbers into “friends you can count on.” Each plush number includes magnets on both sides of its “head,” allowing the creation of multiple-digit numbers, and embroidered dots on the back link the number shape to its quantity. The number characters also appear in the associated book Hello Numbers and free tablet app for iPads. The book includes 72 stickers and a decoder in the shape of Zero that allows children to create their own numbers and discover secrets on each two-page spread. The combination of book, plush and app makes this a great way to introduce children to the fun and friendly number characters! Page 8 ~ Fall 2014
Page 9 ~ Fall 2014
Page 10 ~ Fall 2014
Page 11 ~ Fall 2014
I
have to think to breathe; I keep glancing at the funeral home. Mom and Dad are sitting in the front. Mom turns and looks at me, “Are you ready?”
I glance up at her and mutter, “As ready as I can be.” Tears form in my eyes.
They get out of the car and wait as I force my body to move. My legs feel as though they are bricks. My heart stops as I close the door; Mom walks over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder, “Shawntee, just remember all the good times you had with Page 12 ~ Fall 2014
Michelle. She would want that.�
the world. She quickly became one of
I was five years old when I first
my favorite people to be around. She
met Michelle Anderson, Jesse her
was there for me and would help me
husband, her children David and
when I needed it, especially when it
Adrianne. Adrianne was eight years old,
came to Niki and Adrianne.
the same age as my sister, Niki. They
Niki and I were playing at their
quickly became friends, and soon our
house one time, and Niki decided to
whole family became friends. While
spend the night with Adrianne. I asked
following Niki and Adrianne around all
if I could stay, but both Niki and
the time, I got to know Michelle better.
Adrianne said no. Michelle heard me ask
Michelle was in her mid-thirties.
them if I could stay. She told them they
Long brown hair, incredible dark brown
had to be nice and let me spend the
eyes, with a kind and loving face, she
night too. It was one of the worst nights
had a bright big smile and a laugh that
that I can remember from my
was contagious. She cared about all the
childhood. That was the night Niki and
people in her life. In my eyes, Michelle
Adrianne convinced me they were
was a wife, a mother, and a good friend;
powerful witches by calling upon Jon
she was absolutely perfect to me. Her
Benet Ramsey. They wanted to know
soul and heart were strong. She was
how she was killed. It was the biggest
once in the military and very proud. I
story on the news. We sat in a circle in
thought that was the coolest thing in
Adrianne’s room with a box in the Page 13 ~ Fall 2014
middle of us and a candle. The lights
name over and over. Everything from
were off only the candle gave us a little
that point on made my stomach turn.
flickering light. Niki’s face was dark, and
Niki stopped chanting her name,
Adrianne’s was coming in and out of
“Jon Benet Ramsey, we want to know
darkness from the candle. Niki looked at
who killed you and how. Please tell us.”
me and laughed, “Are you sure you still want to be here?”
I continued to chant until I noticed that Adrianne also went silent and they
“I’m not afraid. I can be a big kid
were no longer holding my hands. I
just like you!” I tried very hard to sound
opened my eyes to find Niki acting as
confident, but I was trembling.
though she had a knife in her hands and
Adrianne just looked at me and rolled her eyes, “Let’s get started.”
Adrianne was on the floor under Niki. Niki started to move her hands up and
“Okay, everyone grab hands and
down as if she were stabbing Adrianne
make sure you close your eyes. We need
over and over. I screamed and ran out
to all whisper her name over and over.
of the room. I was in tears; my heart
When I feel her presence I will ask her
was racing as I ran downstairs to
the question.”
Michelle.
I nodded still pretending I wasn’t scared. I grabbed one of their hands on
“What’s wrong, Shawntee?”
Michelle hugged me as I ran into her.
each side of me and closed my eyes. I did what I was told and whispered her
“Jon Benet Ramsey possessed Niki and Adrianne and showed us how she
Page 14 ~ Fall 2014
was killed.” I looked up at Michelle and saw her smile and slightly shake her head. “Oh honey, they were just teasing you. Let’s watch a movie.” We sat down on the couch and watched until I fell asleep. I started going over to their house not to play with Niki and Adrianne, but to hang out with Michelle. I remember sitting at her bar watching her cook in the kitchen. “I asked Bobby out today.” I couldn’t hold back my giggle. Michelle looked up from the counter, “Well what did he say?” “He said it’s still the beginning of the year. He wants to get used to school again before he gets a girlfriend.” I looked down at the counter and started playing with my hands. “Maybe he has a point. School is the most important thing right now. You shouldn’t even bother with those silly boys.” “Not bother with boys. Are you crazy?” I jumped out of my seat and laughed. “Shawntee, you’re young and have a lot of life ahead of you. To worry so much about boys right now could make things harder for you. An education is important.” She wasn’t smiling anymore. I could tell she was being serious, but I didn’t like it when she was serious; I got enough of that kind of stuff from Mom. That was the Page 15 ~ Fall 2014
thing about Michelle though; she always gave good advice.
I would help her clean around the house, something I didn’t really do
When I was in the fourth grade I
at my own house. I would follow her
switched to a new school, and Mom
around to each room talking nonstop,
made plans for Michelle to watch me
“Cleaning at your house is way more
once in a while when I was off track. I
fun than at mine.”
loved it. I would go over to her house
Michelle laughed, “Yes, but you
with a bunch of activities and she would
should still be nice and help your mom
always do them with me. I remember
and dad out. You don’t want to live in a
one activity I brought over was this
messy house do you?”
mermaid fish tank. It was supposed to
“I guess you’re right.” That
be one that lasted forever. The water
was a conversation my mom was happy
was actually gel. Once we put the sand
for because I actually did start helping
in the bottom and got the gel to the
around our house a little more.
correct consistency we put the fake
Michelle would take me shopping,
plants and mermaid in. “This can last
and since she was a veteran she was
forever just like our friendship.” I ran to
able to go to certain stores that were
Michelle’s side and gave her a hug. I
on a base. There were a lot of other
must have startled her because the way
veterans there. I would see all the men
she flinched when I touched her was a
and women, walking around and
little weird.
wonder what happened to them. Some Page 16 ~ Fall 2014
were hurt, some missing limbs, made me sad but also happy because they were willing to give up so much for us. Michelle always told me, “Don’t feel sad for them. Be thankful that they were willing to fight for America. Be grateful for what they have given up for you and their families. People who choose to go into the military know what they are getting into, and they do it proudly.” I looked up at her, “Just like you?” Michelle grabbed my hand and squeezed, “I was willing to give up everything.” “You don’t look like you’re hurt though, you look nothing like some of these men and women.” I pointed to some of the people around us. “No, but the damage isn’t always visible. Now let’s leave and get other errands done.” Page 17 ~ Fall 2014
I didn’t understand what she meant. How could damage from the military not be visible? I thought I knew her well, but there were times I would walk into a room and notice her acting different than normal. One time I looked at her face and it was almost as if she wasn’t really there. The moment she saw me though, it was as if she was back to normal and nothing ever happened. I never asked because I wasn’t sure I actually saw anything. One night, I woke up to flashing lights coming from outside. When I got up and looked out the window there was an ambulance at the end of the block. Jesse was standing there by the stretcher. Michelle was on the stretcher, but she wasn’t really moving. I could see little straps around her waist. It scared me; I wanted to cry and run to my parent’s room, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the window. After that night Michelle stopped watching me. No one told me what happened that night or why she wasn’t able to watch me anymore. That was in the middle of fifth grade. The last time I saw Michelle was when, my oldest sister Ilea went into labor, Page 18 ~ Fall 2014
and both my parents were at the hospital with her. Mom made arrangements with Michelle for me and Niki to stay at her house that night. After that Michelle and her family moved I lost contact with her because I was getting older and busier with soccer, friends, and school. I was finally in sixth grade. I loved it, and I was excited because my teachers had both my sisters at one point so they knew me. I was ready for a good year. I kept my grades up and played soccer. I didn’t think much about Michelle, and I feel horrible about that. I had my own friends though, so going over to Michelle’s wasn’t something I even thought about. One Sunday, I was at my friend Shannon’s house waiting for my parents to come pick me up. I was getting anxious since they told me they were going to be there at eleven and it was already one. They were never late. It was an extremely hot day. The sun was out and shinning brighter than ever, not a cloud in sight. I was in my favorite dark blue jean shorts with stars on the back pockets and my favorite turquoise tank top; I could smell the fresh cut grass from all around. When my parents finally came, both my sisters and my nephew were in the car. Niki was in tears, and everyone else was really quiet. Mom said hello, opened up the back door Page 19 ~ Fall 2014
and helped me get in. It was the quietest ride home I ever experienced. My family was never quiet. I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea what. I was staring at Niki, but she wouldn’t return the look. Ilea kept glancing back at me, but no matter how much I smiled she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t talk to me either. I finally gave up trying to get someone to tell me because I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I just sat back put my legs up and held on.
wrong mom?”
When we got home everyone quickly
She put her other hand on top of
got out of the car and went inside. I
mine, “Sweetie, Michelle died
waited for mom to come open the door;
yesterday.”
it felt like hours before she got to me.
The words came out of her
When she opened it she looked at me
mouth. I saw her lips moving, but I still
with sad eyes. As I started to get out of
didn’t believe it. “No! You’re joking. This
the car I grabbed her hand, “What’s
is just some horrible joke!” Page 20 ~ Fall 2014
really knows the full story, because Adrianne wasn’t in the room at the time. It was all just a guess. It was something I didn’t want to believe “Shawntee, are we going in?” Dad pulls me from my thoughts. “Yes, I have to say good bye.” With Mom on one side and Dad on the other we slowly walk into the funeral home. As we walk into the room, there are flowers and candles all around, rows full of people crying. I look up at May 8th, 1999 is the day that my
the front of the room where the casket
second mom, one of my best friends
sits. It’s open, and knowing that her
died. She died a horrible death. There
body is laying there lifeless, tears fall
were things about Michelle that no one
down my cheeks. Calm quiet music plays
ever told me, because they didn’t think I
as whispers, and whimpers come from
would understand. She was in a hotel
the people in the room.
room and had an PTSD episode, and she fell from a sixth floor balcony. No one
I see Adrianne and David sitting in the front row both crying. I’m not able to
Page 21 ~ Fall 2014
talk to them. I don’t want to upset
as though the casket was miles away.
them anymore, and I’m afraid I will
I have my eyes closed as I step
start crying. She was their mother. I
up to the casket. I take a deep breath
feel like if I cry more than them I’ll look
in and open my eyes. To look down on
like a fool. Jesse wasn’t crying, just
her peaceful body makes my stomach
standing at the end of the row talking
turn. She is laying there with her hands
to some friends. A picture of Michelle
on her stomach. She is wearing a light
stands next to the casket. It’s a military
blue dress suit. She has make-up on, I
picture; her holding a gun her hair
can tell they used a lot because they
pulled back, a serious but calm face.
want to cover up bruises and make sure
She was beautiful, proud as she
she looks as beautiful as she did when
would’ve said. As I walk up to the
she was alive. She never wore make-up
casket I grab Mom’s hand and squeeze.
when she was alive, so no matter how
My heart is throbbing. I feel light
much they put on or try she doesn’t
headed like I’m going to pass out, but I
look like herself. It takes me a minute
have to go see her. Mom pulls me back,
to notice that she has no neck. At that
“Now Shawntee, don’t forget, Michelle
moment I freak out and turn into Mom
isn’t going to look like herself. They had
crying hysterically, I can’t hold it in
to do some work to help her look as
anymore.
normal as possible.” I nod, let go of her hand and walk up to the casket. It feels
I should never have gone to the wake. I know that now. I was too
Page 22 ~ Fall 2014
young to really understand what was
the inside. By that point I wasn’t able to
going on. I now have two pictures of
stop crying, my body finally gave up. I
Michelle engraved in my mind, and one
was no longer the strong girl. I wanted
of them I wish so much that I could just
to run away, and pretend none of this
throw away. Losing her was a shock,
was happening. I was hurting worse
and it was hard enough to go through.
than I thought possible. I kept hoping,
The wake was the hardest part of it all.
Michelle would come out and say it was
Seeing her lifeless body in her casket
all a joke that she was okay, but of
tore my heart from my chest, and made
course it never happened.
my legs feel like jelly. Knowing that I
I will always hold on to her
was never going to see her again was
memory. She was an amazing woman,
horrifying.
and I am truly grateful to have met her.
The next day was her funeral, and since she was a veteran she received the military salute and send off. I went through this type of funeral before when my Grandfather died, so I was ready for the gun fire. They cremated her body after the wake. Seeing that little urn full of her ashes compared to the big casket she was in the day before, killed me on Page 23 ~ Fall 2014
Page 24 ~ Fall 2014
Page 25 ~ Fall 2014
Page 26 ~ Fall 2014
Page 27 ~ Fall 2014
Page 28 ~ Fall 2014
It seems like there’s always more to the story… I last wrote on changes and transitions. I was planning for retirement, thinking of selling our house, being an ‘empty-nester’ and filled with plans and dreams. I still have all of the plans and dreams…we still have all the plans and dreams, but they are farther in the future than we first thought! You have probably heard the statement, ‘Man makes plans and God laughs’. It’s true! In our planning, we forgot to consider the ‘God factor’, and had followed our own way. Here’s what happened… Over a period of 8 or 9 months, I came to the end of all of my commitments. I was a ‘Mentor Mom’ in a long running morning Bible study. Over the past couple of years there have been no new younger moms for us to mentor. Our ‘veterans’ were well trained and reaching out both at church and in the community, which was the goal of the program. The Mentor Moms realized the need for the group was nearing its end, so we prepared a grand finale and called it finished. End of my commitment. I attempted to contact a couple of the younger women in church to participate in an ongoing fellowship group. Every time I attempted to connect with one of the women involved, they were somehow unavailable. Roadblock to me… My husband and I had been involved in a Bible study/Fellowship group with other couples in our neighborhood for several years. We decided at the end of a school year to stop meeting for the summer and see what the Lord had in store. All were in agreement to break for the summer. Another ‘end of commitment’ for me. My husband thought we needed a 2nd vehicle. An SUV, exactly with all of the ‘bells and whistles’ he deemed necessary ‘just happened’ to be available when he was out car shopping one Saturday. He called a dealership on a whim and was told Page 29 ~ Fall 2014
they did not have what he was looking for…a salesman called back within about 5 minutes and said they actually DID have one, but it wasn’t even in their system and hadn’t been prepped or detailed for the sales yard! He drove over, looked, found it perfect, and at the exact right price. SOLD! Planning ahead for the future while God looks on, laughing! My husband also tried very persistently to purchase a tow-behind travel trailer for our next stage of life. He drove all over the area looking at trailers and refining his vision for what our needs would be. He drove to a few other states following up on phone calls – salesmen who told him they had exactly what he wanted for exactly the right price. We took a few road trips to view these trailers and, imagine! NONE were the right trailer or the right price. He even found a few that were ‘good enough’ and tried to purchase. Each deal fell through for one reason or another. Roadblock! Fast forward a few months and we became new grandparents! Our children were in need of childcare for their new baby and without the resources they needed in their area. Let’s see… 1) No commitments or obligations. Check. 2) Second car. Check. 3) Availability and willingness to serve. Check. Everything lined up perfectly so that we could be available to help our loved ones during a time of transition. Sometimes God lays things out so plainly – in neon footsteps - you just can’t miss it! Page 30 ~ Fall 2014
Page 31 ~ Fall 2014
Page 32 ~ Fall 2014
Page 33 ~ Fall 2014
Homeopathy and naturopathy have been around since man first figured out chewing mint would freshen his breath, willow bark would relieve his pain, and crushing certain herbs together would ease digestion. There is literature from thousands of years ago, written on papyrus or carved into stone, illustrating remedies that one could derive from natural resources by the doctors and shamans of the time. In more recent years, people have again begun to turn to natural remedies in an effort to cut some of the chemical dependence from their daily lives. However, there is a common misconception that the shift toward homeopathy and naturopathy is recent, or at least something that has really only been become popular again in the last thirty or forty years except this is not the case at all. With companies like Boiron being around since 1932 (that's 83 years ago, folks!), the truth is homeopathy and naturopathic medicine has been on the public market for quite a while! Boiron is one of the longest run homeopathic pharmaceutical companies in existence. It was started by twin brothers and pharmacists Jean and Henri Boiron in Lyon, France with a commitment to ensure they only produced high-quality medicines from plants harvested in the French Alps. Obviously, since then they have expanded to become a global company with corporate presences in the United States, Africa, India, Europe, Asia, and Eastern Europe. One of the aspects I appreciate about Boiron is there line of products for infants and children. We've used their products as a family for years, and life would have been significantly more uncomfortable without things like Chestal, Camilia Teething Tablets, Oscillococcinum Cold Care, and Arnicare Pain Relief. Here we will explore some of these products, their reviews, and how they might benefit your family. Keep in mind, this in no way constitutes health care advice and should not take the place of visiting your physician or pediatrician if you or your child is sick. Page 34 ~ Fall 2014
CHESTAL COUGH SYRUP
*Appropriate for ages 2-years to adult Probably the most significant aspect of this medication is the fact that it does not contain any of the ingredients recently questioned by the U.S. Food and Drug Administrations for use in little ones. There are no known side effects (including drowsiness), nor risk of drug interactions or overdose if used in conjunction with other cold medication, yet it soothes dry, irritated throats while making coughs more productive. The goal of a good cough syrup is to make the cough productive while not weakening the person, so what Chestal's homeopathic medicines do is loosen chest congestion and thinning the bronchial secretions so that it makes the cough more productive with less work allowing the person to expectorate. What we've especially liked is that it tastes good and works so the little ones don't fight us when we feel like it's time to give them the medicine and they experience quick relief. While the medicine itself doesn't make them drowsy, since they are soothed, they are more ready for sleep and certainly sleep better than with other options we've tried. One thing to note is that it's definitely not appropriate for children under one because the main ingredient is honey and they should not have honey period. When surveying various websites, the average review was 4.5 stars with very positive comments! CAMILIA TEETHING RELIEF * Infant and up Teething is tough, on everyone. I remember being a young mother and my grandmother (who raised 6 children) telling me to get out the whiskey, rub a little on the gums and then you take a sip... One of you would sleep through it! In truth, this isn't bad advice when I started looking at all the chemicals found in teething gels and I hated the idea of putting all that in my baby. Whiskey was looking like a much better, more natural solution. Frankly, it's what most parents used for hundreds of years because it's not like you were going to get your little one drunk on the minute amount of alcohol that you would rub on the gums to numb them. However, let's be honest, people start to freak a bit when you mention bourbon and babies in the same sentence, so finding a natural alternative was becoming paramount. I had tried several natural remedies with varying degrees of success, but when I found Camilia, I found what I had hoped to find – relief for baby and me without troubling side effects. Camilia does two things – soothes the gums and reduces swelling associated with teething while also relieveing tummy upset and the minor digestive issues that are often due to teething. It was voted as a best new product by pharmacists in France in 2004 after its launch. Each dose is an individually packaged liquid that is absorbed sublingually into the bloodstream, which also means it acts quicker than something that has to go through the digestive system. Page 35 ~ Fall 2014
ARNICARE * For anyone This is one product I rarely leave home without! Seriously. When our boys were younger and playing sports all year long, Arnicare was in my bag at all times. The kids called it “The Magic Goo” (mostly because it looks disturbingly like snot!), but if they got hit by a pitch or banged up on the football field, they came looking for it right quick. Arnicare comes in several different forms – creams, gels, or homeopathic tablets that you take under the tongue – so you can choose how you prefer to use it. The best part is that the topicals are odorless and non-sticky, yet relieve muscle aches, bruising, stiffness, and swelling. Arnica, also known as Arnica Montana or the Mountain Daisy, is a perennial plant found in the northwestern United States and central Europe. It has been used for centuries as a natural pain reliever, although caution should be practiced if the skin is red, irritated, or broken as this is meant to be absorbed through the skin and if placed on skin that is broken or irritated could cause additional problems to that area. If you feel you need a more systemic approach, try the pellets in conjunction with the gel or cream. OSCILLOCOCCINUM * Safe for 2-years to adult * Pronounced either “O-sill-o-kahks-see-num” OR “OH-sill-oh-cox-see-num” (or if you're my oldest son, “Oh-so-silly-coconuts” - don't ask me, but it seems to work for him when he asks the pharmacist!) Page 36 ~ Fall 2014
We love love love this stuff! Especially this past holiday season when we all came down with the flu for the first time in years and mine was compounded with a relapse in pneumonia, so I also had to be on super evil antibiotics that made me almost as sick as the pneumonia did! We gave Oscillo to our littlest guy (3-years old) all the way up to my mother (63-years old) and everyone in between. This year the media is stating that the flu shot is not as effective as it has been in years past, so it could be a particularly nasty flu season. Speaking from our experience, the high fever, nasty cough, body aches, and chills were enough to make us all rather wish for death at least once. It was bad bad stuff, because we're generally a pretty happy crew. However, we went and got the family pack (30 doses!) and took it religiously at the first signs of being sick and none of us were truly symptomatic for more than about 2 days (except me, but there was the pneumonia to consider there, too). Oscillococcinum has been on the French market for more than 75 years and just recently won the PTPA seal for North America (“Parent Tested, Parent Approved”). PTPA Media is North America's largest volunteer parenting testing community and to be awarded the seal, the product must be evaluated by independent parent volunteers. Additionally, clinical studies have shown the Oscillo helps reduce the severity and the duration of flu-like symptoms when taken within 24 hours of the onset of symptoms with nearly 63% showing “clear improvement” or “clear resolution” within 24 hours. Since it doesn't cause drowsiness or interact with other medications or supplements, it's considered safe to use by just about everyone from 2year olds to seniors. The pellets dissolve instantly under the tongue, making them very user friendly even for the most resistant child.
Page 37 ~ Fall 2014
Page 38 ~ Fall 2014
Page 39 ~ Fall 2014
Page 40 ~ Fall 2014
Page 41 ~ Fall 2014
Page 42 ~ Fall 2014
Page 43 ~ Fall 2014
I
bet you’ve seen the magazines
or DIY programs featuring big, glossy spreads
of farm kitchens.
Shiny
appliances in airy rooms, big windows
food would be placed out at lunch and then
with acres of granite countertops just itching to be the catalyst for meals prepared with garden-fresh produce to delight the
snacked on by every passerby throughout the rest of the day.
palette. You could easily fit 10 people
But it was not a socially acceptable farm
around the island and dozens of dishes in
kitchen.
the deep, trough sink. My grandparent’s home lay on seven acres This is not what makes a farm kitchen.
of fertile soil, but with only about four acres
The dingy white house on the gentle knoll was nothing special to look at. It was like so many small farms homes in northern
of it for their “garden.” My grandfather would have my sister and I go out to help him pick blueberries, snow peas, beans, tomatoes and my grandparents would,
Indiana, gently dilapidated and lovingly ignored. Every summer the crunch of tires on this long gravel drive signaled the beginning of culinary delights. It was a place where maple basted hams, butter steamed snow peas, and Polish fried zucchini were regularly turned out. Meals fit for any holiday feast laden the table. Many times,
together, create scents and textures that we couldn’t help but scarf down at every opportunity. We would sit on the floor in the living room watching cartoons or game shows with a giant pot of buttered snow peas and pop them in our waiting mouths like other kids would popcorn. We didn’t know then, being kids and on our own
Page 44 ~ Fall 2014
planets, that having a grandfather that could
incongruities of the abundance in the kitchen
cook as well as their grandmother was
and the lack of communication were
unusual, but he could work magic in the
profound. While my grandfather could cook
kitchen.
and farm, he couldn’t relate to us. While my grandmother was a gentle soul with a heart
It was a real farm kitchen.
that none could compare, she couldn’t soothe
Even as a small child, I could stand in the
the hurts that his emotional distance caused.
center of the peeling linoleum and reach my
But they could feed us and make every meal a
arms out to touch my finger tips to each
memory.
counter. Those great big sinks in pictures? This sink was so shallow you wouldn’t worry about drowning a baby if you had to step aside for a moment. There was a little jut at the back door that held what we called the ‘breakfast area,’ which is the hoity-toity way of saying that’s where they shoved a two-seat diner style table to give them extra work room and a place to eat if they chose. It was at this table where my Polish grandmother would carefully bread her fresh zucchini with unpronounceable names before she would place them in the sizzling pan to fry up. She would pull them out and we would dip them while they were still scalding our fingertips and munch down before we could even close our mouths since they were so hot they took the breath away.
They are both gone. Many years have passed since first my grandmother and, not even two years later, my grandfather died. But when I
think of a farm kitchen I don’t see pretty rooms with shiny things. It is a dark galley with two stingy windows that is my
The counter was cracked Corian and the space benchmark for greatness. A kitchen isn’t a so limited that if there were more than three place - it is a heart where people share people in there they would be living in sin.
intimacies and pains, where the soul should
The shelves were packed with home-canned
be fed at least as much as the belly. That is my
goods and cooling blueberry pies. The
farm kitchen. Page 45 ~ Fall 2014
Page 46 ~ Fall 2014
Page 47 ~ Fall 2014
Page 48 ~ Fall 2014
M
ore than 23 years ago the little pink plus sign changed my life. I was not quite 19, unmarried, living at home, and completely overwhelmed by the notion that my single excursion into the land of physical relationships was going to affect me for the rest of my life. At that time in society, however, the growing commonality of teen pregnancies during the late 80s and early 90s, which was the only time in our history that the statistics went up since they started tracking back in the 50s, I was one of those girls who got knocked up and would be forever known as a ‘teen mom’. Page 49 ~ Fall 2014
They still don’t know why there were so many girls who got pregnant before they were 20 in those about 6 years. No one has ever been able to explain what was happening in the microcosm of teenage social and sexual development. To this day, I have no idea either, but I can tell you that my best friend and I had our first babies two weeks apart and we weren’t the only ones. I can also tell you that we were the lucky ones. We had families who loved us and supported us and didn’t kick us out for getting pregnant. Unfortunately, the opposite was the norm back then. While there wasn’t the extreme shame as there was in years past where girls would be shipped off to have their babies in secret and then forced to give them up for adoption or pass them off as their mother’s, it was still socially unacceptable and many girls were booted out of their homes by outraged parents who had no desire to be associated with someone who “slept around”. My parents, on the other hand, not only let me stay, but encouraged me to not marry until after the baby, which was the best advice I’ve ever been given since we broke up before I was even half way through my pregnancy. And he was gone for good before our son was 6-months old. They suggested I only work part-time so that I could be more of a parent than not and supported my effort (albeit failed effort) to go to college. Regardless, I thrived and made the best of it, and now I’m watching a new generation of young women faced with many of the same challenges and obstacles that I had to overcome. But with some significant differences. WHO’S YOUR DADDY These girls are making active, purposeful decisions to not only acknowledge the fathers, but hold them accountable. The relationships themselves may not have lasted, and to be honest, most of them didn’t, Page 50 ~ Fall 2014
but they have sued for child support and most insist that they co-parent unless there are reasons to distrust the fathers. In those cases they still insist on financial support with the caveat that all visitation be supervised in some manner. They aren’t willing to take all the blame or all the responsibility the way my generation did. PRE-NATAL CARE IS A PRIORITY One of the reasons my parents didn’t want me to get married is that I was still covered on their health insurance and the baby was, too. In recent years, that has changed, where the underage mother is covered, but the baby is not. These girls are recognizing the need to care for themselves and their babies from the get-go. They are applying for Medicaid if they need to so that they can receive the care necessary to ensure a healthy pregnancy and baby. My niece was 15 when she got pregnant and we were (justifiably) worried given her past behavior and the choices she had made that led to the pregnancy. But, when she discovered that she was, indeed, expecting, her universe realigned itself. All of a sudden it wasn’t about her any more, it was about something, someone, bigger, or smaller as the case may be. She quit smoking, she stopped getting high, she went to her doctor’s appointments with an almost religious fervor. She recognized the necessity of proper care for herself and her baby in ways that most of the single moms I knew way back when did not understand. AND BABY MAKES THREE OR FOUR OR FIVE OR… Unlike when my friend and I were accepted into our own homes when that was the exception, it is now more the rule that these young women and their babies either stay with their parents or move into the fathers’ parents’ home. No one expects them to be able to support themselves, and their babies, in such a way that is safe or nurturing. Page 51 ~ Fall 2014
This is a good thing because they need to be able to finish growing up before they are faced with the full implications of parenthood and adulthood. Many of them are still in high school or barely graduated like I was. Their life experience is limited and they are often only qualified for minimum wage jobs which is not enough to be fully independent, which only puts them at greater risk of being dependent on government assistance. I would like to think that it is better for our society when we take care of our own rather than expect them to get on the public roles. It is nice to have a safety net, but if we help those who need it ourselves, it often gives them the better opportunity and, more importantly, the confidence to go out into the world and support themselves. It is about relationships above the hardships. And for girls who are not fortunate enough to have families who will help them, the resources are so much more available with programs designed to let them live there, job training, parenting classes, and regular classes to help them keep moving forward. They can continue to live there even after the baby is born. Those kinds of programs were few and far between when I was eighteen. DIPLOMAS MATTER I was lucky, or smart, or whatever, to have already graduated high school when I faced motherhood, but many, if not most, girls weren’t that lucky/ smart/whatever then. We had a school where they could go, but getting there was a near impossibility and the stigma attached was tremendous. Not that they didn’t, but it was a chore that few could overcome. Page 52 ~ Fall 2014
Girls now have so many better options and are choosing to take advantage of them, which is the key. Resources don’t matter unless they are used. And they are using their options for public online school, working with their neighborhood school to continue their education, or even pursuing their GED which is just as effective as a regular diploma. ‘How’ doesn’t change ‘what’ as far as they are concerned as long as it gets done. And it’s not just high school, more are going to college, too - 1.9 million parents in college are single parents. While many traditional colleges are still slow to catch up with the times with classes and times still geared toward kids who have no other responsibilities, many campuses not only offer discounted or free childcare for infants through pre-school, but are adding more night and online classes to their schedules for those who can’t attend during the day. There is still a lot of room for improvement, but these young women are going to college online or enrolling in trade school programs regardless of how traditional colleges and universities function. HAVING IT ALL These girls are the granddaughters of the women who rocked through the 70s and 80s as the women who wanted it all – children and career. They are the daughters of the women who faced the largest generation of single, teen motherhood since before the Baby Boom. They are benefiting from these experiences in that they understand that no one else is responsible for them except themselves. Teen moms are still at the greatest risk of poverty and unemployment, among other things, but more are viewing the situation they are in as a temporary set-back, not the end of the world. If they are the children of parents who value education and hardwork, they are more likely to continue on that path regardless of their new responsibilities. Or maybe because of their new responsibilities. Going back to my niece, she hasn’t finished high school yet, but she has been working full-time since her son was a year old. She still lives with her mom and they share the house and bills. She is looking seriously at medical technician school now that her little guy started first grade this year. She still has a tough road ahead of her, and she knows it. She needs to get that diploma. She needs to get accepted into school. She needs to make sure she is still balancing life with her super intelligent boy, work, school, and personal life. But once she set her mind to do something and do it right, she did amazing. And I know she will continue to be amazing with these next steps, too. Page 53 ~ Fall 2014
How Sleep’n Sync is Revolutionary Mission To help children excel when facing challenges and improve their functional skills and their wellbeing
Sleep’n Sync’s objective is to help the child achieve their goals fast. It does this through an audio designed to help the child with the specific issue being addressed, which is played at night, as the child sleeps, every day for six weeks. Sleep’n Sync uses the power of the mind and empowers the natural motivation in children to do well. It does this by integrating to the audio positive suggestions and messages that reach the subconscious mind of the child at a highly receptive state: sleep.
Non-Invasive
Non-confrontational: with Sleep’n Sync there is no need for negotiating or convincing the child to do the program every day, no need to use their valuable fun time for it.
Easy to use: the program’s implementation does not affect your child’s schedule, it is at night during sleep time, no need to set time from the child’s busy day for this. Program the alarm with Sleep’n Sync’s audio at a time the child is asleep, and set it to repeat every night.
Based on extensive scientific research and best practices: each Program is designed based on extensive scientific research and best practices, so that the messages and recommendations contained in the program are effective and to the point of the specific goal of the program.
Sleep’n Sync uses: Principles of hypnotherapy by designing the necessary messages the child needs in the form of positive suggestions tailored to be easily absorbed by the subconscious mind of the child.
Page 54 ~ Fall 2014
Sleep, as it provides a highly receptive state of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is always awake and receptive, however this receptivity is increased when the conscious mind does not interfere/ is resting/cooled down, as it occurs during sleep. In addition, sleep is a time when the outside input is minimized, and the information received during the awake time is sorted, organized, evaluated, linked with other memories, and stored or discarded according to its relevance. Sleep’n Sync takes advantage of sleep as a natural receptive state for its messages to effectively be absorbed by the subconscious mind, and the natural function of sleep in building and solidifying brain connections, and its natural role as self-therapy since it processes and links negative feelings and experiences with positive feelings and previous experiences, diminishing their overall negative effect (Rock )
Neuroplasticity: which is the changing of the strength of neural connections, the adding or removing of connections or the adding of new cells. Thinking, learning and acting actually changes the structure and functional organization of the brain.(Christiansen & Baum, 2005).
Principles of neuroplasticity: The brains ability to act and react is ever-changing. It is constantly laying down new pathways for neural communication and to re-arrange existing ones. The changing of neurons, the organization of their networks, and their function changes via new experiences
Repetition: It is well known that repetition wires the brain. It is repetition that allows a person’s brain to esptablish the necessary connections or synapses between the brain cells. Learning occurs right where neurons meet. Without these connections, the brain cells are useless. It is known that what wires a person’s brain is repeated experience, and without it, key synapses do not form. And if such connections, once formed are used too seldom to be strengthened and reinforced, the brain eventually elliminates them. Therefore, repetition of the desired messages in the suggestions in Sleep’n Sync audios is a key element for the effectiveness of the message incorporation into the subconscious mind of the child.
Binaural Beats in the background music: Optional. Binaural beats work by sending two different tones to each ear. The frequency difference between the tones is created by the brain as a “binaural beat”. With this technology, one can take the mind into a relaxed and receptive state, allowing easier connections between the brain cells. This is optional since sleep is already a receptive state for the messages to be absorbed, however its use can help.
Connecting the subconscious mind with the conscious mind: This is what Sleep’n Sync’s audios facilitate, so that when the child is awake, he/she has the self confidence, skills and tools to use in order to get his/her desired goals.
Page 55 ~ Fall 2014
Page 56 ~ Fall 2014
Page 57 ~ Fall 2014
F
amilies today come in all shapes and sizes. From the couple just starting out, to blended families, single parents, and everything in between, the definition of ‘family’ isn’t as cookie-cutter as it may have seemed half a century ago. Today, families are grown through natural pregnancies, medical procedures, surrogate, foster care, international and domestic adoption. Each family’s relationship is as unique as a finger print. Life often teaches us that good things often come from bad situations. In the case of adoption, often the best things come from what might be seen as the worst situations. Adoption isn’t most people’s “plan a” when it comes to family building. Often, those choosing to build their families through adoption have had some challenges in life that lead them to that path. Maybe it was infertility. Maybe they are building a family later in life. Maybe they are a same sex couple looking to grow their families, or a single adult looking to start a family on their own. Often, for children placed for adoption, the pregnancies are unplanned, or parents who couldn’t continue to raise them for a vast array of reasons. A few are actual orphans, with nowhere left to turn.
My journey as an ado
“What’s it like being adopted?” There are certain labels in life that stick with us forever. Sometimes, they are merely descriptive, such as “tall” or “short”. Some show our relation to others, such as “mother”, “father”, “brother”, “sister”, or “friend.” Some labels we outgrow, like “kid” or “teenager’. But there are some that stick. A few of the common labels used to describe me have been: tall (I stand about 5’8”, which is considered relatively tall for a woman), blond, blue eyed, brown, confident, sister, daughter, and, oh yeah, adopted. I came to my parents via the California State Department of Child Welfare. My biological mother was a 16 year old girl who had sworn that she’d been raped. Hiding her pregnancy for as long as possible (and Page 58 ~ Fall 2014
probably doing everything a scared 15 year old girl could do to be quietly rid of me) the problem of me eventually became unavoidable. I wasn’t disappearing . When her mother (a single parent of three girls) became aware of the situation, I was put up for adoption. Before my cells had even started dividing, my parents (an infertile couple who had already adopted a baby boy in 1976) filed for to adopt me. After being matched with my brother, they already knew they wanted a baby girl. The order for a Caucasian infant girl was tough to fill. While many couples wait 9 months for their child to be born, my parents waited about 4 years. I was born on January 16th, 1980 and entered into foster care that same day. I was brought home by my parents in April or May, and my adoption became official in October of that same year. I spent the time in between in foster care. For those few months, a selfless couple cared for me, despite my ‘risk factors’. According to doctor’s reports, I was a disturbing shade of blue when I was born. After some quick infant CPR, I was breathing and giving my fresh lungs a work out. Since my biological mother had attempted to keep her pregnancy a secret, she didn’t get regular prenatal care, so whether I would thrive or not remained to be seen. But one thing was as true then as it is now,. Like so many other adoptees, I’m a survivor. Though classified as a ‘high risk’ adoption due to possible yet-to-be-seen developmental delays, I survived my rocky start into the world. About a week after my birth (and immediate subsequent relinquishment into foster care), my foster family (who had named me Virginia) was kind enough to take two photos of me and send them to my social worker. These photos were eventually passed on to my eagerly awaiting parents – the people who would pledge to bring me, a stranger, into their lives and call me ‘family’ – people who would give me the title ‘daughter’ and ‘sister’.
optee is just one of many.
Little did my foster family know, those two grainy photos would be my first baby pictures. A few months later, the paperwork was filed and I was taken home, with the adoption finalized later that year. My brother and I were lucky. We each went through only one foster home (which we were too young to remember) before finding our forever families. So many children in foster care aren’t so fortunate. Many see several foster homes before their second birthdays. Still others are only in foster care temporarily while the adults work through whatever issues are Page 59 ~ Fall 2014
keeping them from safely being a family. Unfortunately, those considered ‘legally free’ (whose rights have been revoked or given up by their biological parents) by toddler hood and older are often considered ‘difficult’ to place. The older a child is when he/she enters the foster system, the lower the chance of being adopted.
Closed or Open – What’s the difference A Closed Adoption refers to an adoption where the contact information of the biological parents is not disclosed to the adoptive family and the adoptive family has no further contact with the biological parent once the adoption is finalized. An Open Adoption refers to an adoption where some form of contact agreement is established between the biological family and the adoptive family/child. This agreement could be something more onesided (such as pictures exchanged through a web site or a social worker), or it could include visitation and open communication on all sides. Usually, Family Medical history is disclosed either when, whenever available. As was common practice in the 70’s and 80’s, all the adoptions in my family were closed adoptions. Once I turned 18, I had the full support of my parents in finding my biological family. – a search which lasted a year and a half. I located my social worker, who contacted my biological mother’s last known address. Eventually, my biological mother consented to contact me. We exchanged a handful of letters and met face to face twice. That’s when I learned that I was in fact not the product of an act of violence, but rather a product of a night of passion with an older boy. Turns out, she even had the last known phone number. As luck would have it, 20 years later, my biological grandfather still lived at that phone number. He was able to contact my biological father, and we became friends. My brother has yet to locate his biological family. His journey is just beginning. What little we know came in the form of a story that his biological mother left with the social worker (a common practice back then). Page 60 ~ Fall 2014
Which is better? There are some that say open adoption is the way to go. Usually, the school of thought behind that is something along the lines of, ‘It will keep them from fantasizing and idealizing their biological parents,’ or “No child can have too much love in their life.’ I had a closed adoption and yes, I often wondered what my biological family was like. I don’t believe that impeded me from bonding with my adoptive family though. From where I sit, I can see where an open adoption might be the way to go for perhaps an older foster child who still desires some relationship with their biological family. I can also see where a limited open relationship (such as sharing pictures through a mediator) could be especially helpful and reassuring to the biological family – to know their child is safe and well. I can also see who it would be confusing but, just as each family is unique, I’d encourage anyone considering adoption to look over all of these options and settling on the one that feels most right for their situation.
Speaking of Bonding… Did You Have any trouble Bonding with your parents or vice versa? This is probably the number 1 fear most adoptive parents have. ‘Will I bond with my child? Will my child bond with me?’ The media generally doesn’t help dispel this notion at all either. The news seems always ready to report about a mismatched family, unable to bond, and the destruction it causes.
But more often than not, bonding happens. Not always instantly. Not overnight. But it happens. For my parents, we were their children. We weren’t their ‘adopted’ children. We were just their son and daughter, and that’s where the sentence ended. They never hid the fact that we were adopted. (Even if they hadn’t we don’t resemble our parents physically much at all, despite sharing a basically similar skin tone.) By sharing age-appropriate books with us, we learned what adoption ment. Still, it was hard to learn to trust the world around us. After all, our very first experience of the world was one of instinctive abandonment. For many adoptees, that initial abandonment colors the glasses we see the world through. Page 61 ~ Fall 2014
There were times we struggled more than others, but love and commitment saw us through those times. My parents never waivered in their commitment to us as a family. That example made it easier for us to find our roles in the family and to learn to trust. Learning to trust is no small feat. It takes patience, consistency, understanding, and commitment on the parents’ behalf.
Any tips for those who are having trouble bonding? Three things – Find Common Ground, Create Traditions, and Keep your Word The first two tips go hand in hand. I truly believe our parents did right – and I don’t think they learned them in a classroom. They built little traditions into our lives. For example, we ate dinner at the table every night, except for Friday nights. On Friday, we’d get to eat in front of the TV and watch a few family-favorite shows together. (In our house, that ment Star Trek most of the time.) We also went to local musical theater events every summer. By building little routines into our weeks, seasons, and holidays, we had things to constantly look forward to. This created a sense of stability, even though my father traveled for business often during my lifetime. No matter who was home, I knew I could count on Friday night fun.
These things created a balance for us that helped us find common ground, or build it when it wasn’t readily available. Keeping your word is harder than it sounds. Often we say, “later” when we really mean “no”. It sounds so simple, but it’s those tiny easy little white lies we tell each other in an effort to avoid disappointment or conflict that feed the seeds of mistrust. It’s cliché, but honesty really is the best policy. Deal with conflicts as they arise. It’s always better to deal with disappointment than add fuel to the ‘adults can’t be trusted’ fire that abandonment often seeds.
Page 62 ~ Fall 2014
How do you feel about your adoptive family? They are my parents. They saw me through my hard grade school years, supported me when I needed it, and taught me just about everything I know. I feel nothing but love for them (and my brother). I know I may not have been their ‘plan a’, but it’s clear that being adopted really was the best way for me to grow up. Rather than one parent who was very young and didn’t really desire kids anyway, I got two parents who were hungry to add a daughter to their family. My parents have been a great example of love and commitment to me. When my dad passed away this passed April, any shadow of doubt that may have been lingering in my mind were completely gone. We are a family. While some are made by blood, it’s love that truly binds us together. And that we have in spades.
How do you feel about your biological family? Are you upset with them for placing you for adoption? How is your relationship with them now? Even though I was told early on my birth story, there were definitely times when I was angry with the situation. How could someone that loves you, give you away to strangers? But once I became an adult, I understood. Child rearing is a LOT of work. It’s a 24 hour a day, 365 day a year job. And it’s a job my biological family wasn’t ready for. But it was a job my adoptive family was ready for. My biological father and I are friends. He has a daughter who is about 23 years younger than me. Explaining my adoption out to her has been interesting (and a task I leave up to her dad entirely), but it’s fun to be able to be a part of her life. I basically play the role of an Aunt, more than a big sister. My biological mother and I exchange letters and pictures through her mother a few times a year. We’re all comfortable with that level of contact, so it works well for us. It’s a complicated ever-evolving situation, but I’m lucky to have my family’s full support on whatever choices I make in these matters. Page 63 ~ Fall 2014
Becoming an Adoptive Parent – Tips for Survival 1) Pack your patience. This is one big waiting game. The road to parenthood through adopting/foster isn’t a quick one. While things have become a bit faster than when my family was adopting me and my brother in the 1970’s, to someone hungry to grow their family, they can still feel agonizingly slow. My husband and I started our adoption journey in June of 2012. It’s been one year and we have yet to complete the second step of our journey – the home study process. No matter what route of adoption you plan to take, or if you plan to become a foster parent, you must have a ‘home study’ approved by the state. The requirements for a ‘home study’ are different in every state. In many states, many of the classes required can be done online, as can a lot of the paperwork. However, you’ll have to Page 64 ~ Fall 2014
check with your state to see what’s required. In our state, we’re required to take over 20 hours of in-classroom training classes. This has become a huge problem for us because my husband is in the US Navy. Due to deployments and such, his schedule is very unpredictable. I’m prepared to be the chief care-giver, however the state requires we both take the courses. No doubt it would be beneficial for us both to attend – and the desire is there! However, his schedule has not allowed for days off which coincide with the dates of the seminars. But we’re hopeful.
2) Don’t be afraid to tell people you’re adopting/fostering once you start the process to become a parent. Support can come from really surprising places. My husband was nervous about telling people about the adoption at first, but quickly found out that it was very rare for people to have any disparaging remarks. Most people are genuinely curious and excited to see where the journey leads. In fact, seeking out other people who have been through the process already might prove very reassuring.
3) The more specific your requests, the longer the wait. This is generally true. My parents had very specific requests (infants, boy, then girl, Caucasian), which is likely one of the reasons the wait was so long (and one of the reasons they grabbed me even though I was considered a risk). Page 65 ~ Fall 2014
4) Respect the journey, both yours and your partner’s (if applicable). It’s very common for adoptive mothers and fathers to have two different experiences, just like with pregnancy. Women tend to undergo what’s called a ‘paper pregnancy’, from the first moment they dedicate themselves to an adoption. Nesting sets in, as does a lot of dreaming and talk about kids. Men are often on the other end of the spectrum, enjoying the fleeting days of life without kids while they can. It’s been said, ‘Women become mothers at the desire for motherhood; men become fathers when they first hold their children.’ This can be very true with adoption as well. Women often report feeling a connection with a baby at just the glimpse of a picture. Men need to have that child in their arms before they feel the fatherly glow. Talking often and respecting that your partner is in it with you, but on his/her own unique journey can help communication flowing during this stressful time.
5) Take care of yourself while you wait.
Page 66 ~ Fall 2014
When we first started the adoption process, I was afraid to plan a vacation or spend a dime on something we didn’t need because we might be called upon to throw a large sum of money down to complete it. (My brother and I cost a grand total of $1000 to adopt in the 1970’s. Today’s adoptions are much more expensive, with an approved home study alone running about $1500.) It’s so easy to let your life revolve around the adoption. This is truly is a marathon, not a sprint. We need to take care of ourselves along the way. For me, that means making sure I work on developing healthy habits in all aspects of my life so that they can rub off on our next generation, when the time comes. Part of staying healthy is knowing when to take a break, a short vacation, a night out on the town, whatever it may be to keep myself and my relationship healthy.
6) Be realistic. This is a child. Not a Cause. One thing that drove my parents nuts is that people were often saying how ‘generous’ they were to take in two unwanted kids. While, yes, they have very generous spirits, it’s not exactly like we showed up on their doorstep as rain-drenched puppies seeking a new home from anyone who would open up their door and give us a bed. They simply wanted a family – and after infertility treatments failed, this was the means to get Page 67 ~ Fall 2014
it. Adopting or fostering (especially traumatized) children doesn’t mean you’ll be able to ever erase anything that was done to them. Love, while healing, is not a ‘reset’ button. It means you’ll be helping them learn to cope with their situation (whatever that may be). Each situation is as unique as the child, and requires different skills. For example, the danger in our household will be this- ‘I know how you feel because I was adopted too.’ Truth be told, I might have some insight into how our kids might be feeling, but then again – I might be way off base.
7) Where there is a will, there is a way. Think adoption is too expensive? Consider foster-to-adopt programs. If one agency seems too expensive, interview other ones. Don’t feel comfortable with Foster-to-adopt? Consider private adoption agencies or legal firms. Adoption fees aren’t inexpensive, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely out of reach. The internet has a myriad of ways to raise funds. Seek out grants or fund raising websites. Check into tax deductions that might help off-set the costs. Family and friends might even be willing to help out as well.
8) Celebrate every small victory. Did you just finish interviewing an adoption agency or going to an informational meeting? Celebrate it! Celebrate each piece of paper you turn in. It may seem small, but these little things feed hope. All of them can bring your one step closer. Page 68 ~ Fall 2014
Page 69 ~ Fall 2014
Page 70 ~ Fall 2014
Page 71 ~ Fall 2014
Page 72 ~ Fall 2014
Page 73 ~ Fall 2014
Page 74 ~ Fall 2014
Page 75 ~ Fall 2014
Page 76 ~ Fall 2014
Page 77 ~ Fall 2014
Page 78 ~ Fall 2014
Page 79 ~ Fall 2014
EMILY DANCES By Alice Tetamore
Page 80 ~ Fall 2014