Expectations vs. reality

Many students who either were not immersed in American culture before or did not have much prior experience were shocked to learn that Americans were friendlier than they expected. Much of Han’s perception of American culture was informed by Western media he consumed growing up.

“I thought in the U.S., [people] would be total strangers to each other,” Han says. “I expected the U.S. to be like New York City, or how people stereotype it, but I felt that it’s not as individualistic as I initially perceived. It’s warmer and more welcoming.”

Ushindi also formed a perception of Americans based on Western media.

“I expected timeliness, consistency, honesty. Back at home, we have this idea that people in the U.S. are so honest, and that’s what I was expecting,” Ushindi says.

He compared American social norms to those in Rwanda which, to an extent, confirmed his initial perceptions. However, Ushindi says he was surprised at how bad Americans are at lying, and that back home, people lie all the time with no ill intention.

Forming connections

Han had to adjust to the lack of hierarchies between people of different ages in the U.S., coming from Korea. He says conjugations change to the honorific form when speaking to adults in Korean, linguistically defining his relationship with those older than him. The same kind of relationship in the U.S. has less of a hierarchical distinction.

He also compared student-professor interactions between the U.S. and back home. While Northwestern professors often give students avenues for regrades, Han says a Korean teacher’s word is the law, and asking for a regrade is considered rude backtalk.

“Because of this respect that you have to hold, sometimes you have to act in ways that I feel like Western people would think is illogical,” Han says.

These cultural differences often lead international students to gravitate to one another because of similar past experiences.

Ushindi says he feels most comfortable with the people who come from the same place as him. For example, the same things that make him angry make them angry too, and people from different backgrounds have a different set of taboos and criteria for determining what’s appropriate. He also says he’s more reserved when meeting new people as he figures out how they may react to different things he says.

For Traub, the very fact that international students come from different cultures and norms is what helps them bond