The Print Volume 2, Issue 5 by Maynooth Students' Union

THE

MSU’s Student Paper

Wednesday, Wednesday, gotta get down on Wednesday March 30th 2011 – Issue 5, Volume 2 – Free!

Editor: Rob Munnelly, theprint@nuimsu.com

MSU Constitution passed in landslide Overwhelming 79% “Yes” vote was unprecedented MSU now much closer to autonomy from the university Completely reforms makeup of Maynooth Students’ Union

A stronger, better Union Two Thursdays ago, Maynooth studeents voted overwhelmingly to implement a new constitution. The new constitution introduces a nunber of signiﬁcant changes. First, it creates a new, fourth sabbatical position - Clubs, Societies and Union Development Ofﬁcer - to assist the existing sabbats (Aengus, Liz and Rob at the moment.) Second, it makes the Union and its property far, far more autonomous from the University. This boils down to the Union not being tied to the University’s various policies, and allowing us to be far more nimble as well has having more control.

The guy who made it all happen, Aengus

Daltaí os Má Nuad ag agóid go chiúin

24-hour Jugglethon for Little Way Cancer Support Charity

Bhí 1,000 mac léinn triú leibheal, slua mór ón Má Nuad ina measc, páirteach in agóid chiúin taobh amuigh de Teach Laighean ar Lá Fhéile Vailitín agus iad ag cur a míshásamh in iúl faoi sheasamh Fhine Gael maidir le Gaeilge a bheith roghnach ag leibhéal na hArdteiste. Ag an agóid, bhí an croí mar shiombail don Ghaeilge agus “Enda, ná bris ár gcroíthe” mar mhana acu. Bhí an agóid eagraithe ag Aontas na Mac Léinn in Éirinn (USI) agis Aodhán Ó Deá, Oifigeach Forbartha Gaeilge ar USI ina striúrthóir ag an agóid. Chuaigh Cuallacht na Gaeilge Má Nuad chuig Baile Átha Cliath roimh an agóid chun cartaí vailintín a thabhairt amach ar shráideanna Átha Cliath, le bileoga eolais istigh iontu chun aird daoine a tharraingt ar cheist na Gaeilge. Mhairseáil said ó Theach Laighean a fhad le ceannáras Fhine Gael agus iad ag scair-

Last Tuesday – Wednesday, the Juggling Society held its 2nd annual 24-hour Juggle-a-Thon, and the charity we were raising for this year was MS Ireland (as you may remember from seeing the very shiny banner). The event kicked off outside the Common Room at 12 noon on Tuesday with a flash of bright orange…and then a loud clatter as I dropped the juggling clubs… The event picked up momentum as the hours passed and more and more people came to watch and drop change in our buckets. We had a great turnout of jugglers and spectators and the wonderful sunshine only helped matters. There were gladiators tournaments (no, not that kind,…or that one either), club passing and juggling of all varieties going on throughout the day as well as one mad yoke attempting to go the whole way around the Common Room on her unicycle without falling off.

Charity

teadh amach “Is Votóir mé”. Tá físeán ag léiriú na himeachta le feiceáil ar http://goo. gl/7iFt7 . Tá teachtaireacht láidir ag USI agus is é sin gur gá an cúrsa Gaeilge a athrú seachas é a dhéanamh roghnach. Tá siad ar son

dhá ábhar don Ghaeilge a fhorbairt ag an dara leibhéal le dhá pháipéar scrúdaithe ar leith don Ardteist. An chéad ábhar a bheadh ann ná “Teanga na Gaeilge” a mhúinfí do gach mac léinn: ag múineadh agus ag measúnú na

scileanna tuisceana, labhartha, léite agus scríofa. An dara hábhar ná “Litríocht agus Saíocht na Gaeilge”, le déanamh ag mic léinn ardleibhéil amháin agus le múineadh go comhtháite le “Teanga na Gaeilge” ag an leibhéal cuí.

NUI Maynooth Ireland’s Fastest Growing University

24-Jugglathon for MS Ireland in the Common Room

CAO application figures released this week show that NUI Maynooth has achieved the highest growth rate of all universities in the country. The percentage of first preference applications to NUI Maynooth has grown by 9.1%, with the total number of students applying to third level slightly down, at -0.9%.

News

Eye On: Equestrian Club On the 7th of March NUIM Equestrian Club held a club fundraising event in the SU Clubhouse in the form of TV3’s “Take Me Out”. Thankfully the event was a huge success with approximately 240 people in attendance! Ten male students took to the stage to try and impress the ladies with their charm and talents or in some cases lack of but the ladies were a tough crowd to please and not easily wooed resulting in some of the boys walking off stage all alone...Awwww! But it wasn’t all broken hearts as love definately blossomed amongst some of our contestants...we won’t name any names!! A great night was had by everyone in attendance and we’d like to thank all our contestants, sponsors, committee and everyone who attended.

Election Results! President

Rob Munnelly

Vice-President Welfare and Equality

Fiach O’ Neill

Vice-President for Services, Events and Communications

Keith Broni

Finance

Ruaidhrí Boland

Entertainments

Alan Coyne

Cans on the footbridge During the last week of term, as election ballots were being counted, in excess of 25 students gathered on the NUIM footbridge to bid her goodbye. A great place for an anti-fees banner in recent years, she will be missed by all. The fact we all refer to the bridge as ‘her’ indicates how much we love the bloody thing, even if it is a death-trap at colder times of the year and a pretty horrible uphill walk from south campus to north. Padraig McCarrick of the Student Observer has promised a full write up there, and great credit is due to him on his excellent homemade signs produced for the night including “Let’s Get Social!” and “We’re From The Internet” Amazingly, hundreds and hundreds of people clicked attending on Facebook but decided against coming out on

Photo: Ruth Edwards

the night. Funny that. Never organise anything on Facebook. The bridge is due to be taken down in April. Perhaps someone else shall set up a

Facebook event to bid her goodbye in style, and a lecture address or two wouldn’t hurt. Don’t tell security. Donal Fallon

Irish-Language and Deirdre Duffy Cultural Affairs Officer

Theology Rep

Maura Garihy

THE

Page three

Wednesday 30th March

INSIDE

GC holding comendy night in Laughter Lounge this 14th April to raise dough for Pieta House

STUDENT NEWS

Galway Cycle 2011 So we’re into the final stretch of preparations for the Galway Cycle 2011. On Friday morning (25th March) over 130 cyclists will leave from the Students Union bound for Galway. It will be a long 200km cycle but they’ll have the encouragement of some 50 collectors and 20 support crew along the way. Numbers registered for this year’s cycle have surpassed other years and so far it is shaping up to be an unforgettable weekend for all involved as we try to raise as much money as possible for this year’s charity, Pieta House. The hard work doesn’t stop once everyone makes the 200km journey to Galway on Friday. In fact one of the most important parts of the weekend, and the biggest chance to raise money for the charity happens on the Saturday. All 200 people involved take to the streets of Galway, literally invading everywhere from Eyre Square to Shoppe Street and all the way down to the Quays in our hoodies (lovely purple hoodies this year). We shake our buckets all day long while busking, juggling, offering people lifts on our circular bike and generally whatever else we can do to draw attention to

MSU Amnesty walks a mile in her shoes Breaking news: Playdo still awesome Name the new canteen!

Drastic changes to Nitelink service

ourselves. Once we’ve done this then it’s time for some well earned relaxing and celebrating in Monroes Live, our sponsors in Galway for the second year. Then on the Sunday morning it’s another early start as the long journey home begins again. Cyclists are back on their bikes and the collectors and support crew are back in the buses and vans ready to cheer the cycle back home to Maynooth. If you haven’t already signed up to take part in the Galway Cycle (why haven’t you?!?) then fear not as there are still ways to get involved and help raise money for a fantastic charity. It’s

still not too late to sign up as a collector so if you have friends coming along and you are wishing you’d signed up check out www.galwaycycle.ie. We are also having a comedy night in the Laughter Lounge in Dublin on the 14th April. Tickets are available by emailing fundraising@galwaycycle.ie. These nights are always brilliant and there will be some top class comedians performing with all proceeds going to the Galway Cycle and Pieta House so get your ticket early. So if you can, try and come along to one of our fundraising events that are left and support this year’s Galway

Cycle. If you can’t make it to one of those you can make a donation to the Galway Cycle and Pieta House at www.galwaycycle.ie. Also if there is anyone from Galway come down to Eyre Square on Friday about 5pm to cheer the cyclists into Galway (and if you’re feeling really eager and helpful you can join in the bucket shaking on Saturday!). Finally, anyone that is about Maynooth on Sunday evening about 6pm come down to the square outside Brady’s to join in the celebrations as everyone arrives back.

Attention all English students!

Eye On: Dance Society and their latest event

NATIONAL NEWS Students sharing prescription drugs to save money Quinn to tackle “Catholic Right Wing” in education

Get involved

Struggling with your writing? Struggling with essays? Looking to improve your writing? The English Department’s Peer Tutoring Centre opened again on Monday 28 February. Peer Tutors are here to provide you with oneon-one essay-writing help. From weeks 5-11 of term the centre will be open as follows:

Mondays 1-4 Tuesdays 1-4 Wednesdays 1-2; 3-4 Thursdays 12-1 Peer Tutoring is located in Meeting Room 48, Iontas Bldg in the English dept. No need to make an appointment! For more information contact Dr Oona Frawley oona.frawley@nuim.ie

Wine tasting n’ stuff

Music Soc still topping C&S League Still in the lead to clinch the title this year are Music Soc, with their recent Stars in Their Eyes competition still being talked about. Amnesty are still nipping at their heels however, following their (hilarious) Walk A Mile in Her Shoes event where a bunch of guys walked a mile around campus in (torturous) high heels to raise awareness. Being male, it turned into a race halfway through, the proud winner of which was Presidentelect Rob Munnelly, narrowly beating Will Blumheim. Blumheim has cited his red 5-inch heels as the reason for his defeat. Yoga and Tea soc are joint third. Tea, in association with Father Ted soc, recently held the very successful Lovely Girls Competition where the three male judges were forced to test their ‘creative’ sandwich making abilities. Toppings included relish, chocolate sauce, jam, peanut butter, sprinkles and beetroot. Yummers. You can see footage of the event on Kildare TV.

Rolling in 5th are the (awesome) Playdo society who, when they’re not making banners for SU election candidates or painting distribution stands for The Print, are off fighting cardboard battles in Galway for fun. Seriously, is there a more fun society than Playdo? Dance recently held their excellent Rewind show to a big crowd in The Venue. Good dancing, good music, good times. To their credit, people are still talking about how good it was a week later. Drama Soc recently took three productions to the ISDA (Irish Student Drama Festival) in Galway. They were One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest (Directed by Brenda Foulds), the Mercy Seat (Directed by Mike King) and a piece of student-written drama Living With Secrets (Written and Directed by Edel Doran.) If you want to know where your Club or Soc are in the league, please send your email to intern@nuimsu. com.

Clubs and Socs League Tables Club or Society

Points

Music Amnesty Yoga and Tea Fencing Playdo Dance MUCK Archery Drama Snooker & Pool

552 515 468 422 401 394 365 355 334 318

theprint@nuimsu.com

THE

News

Wednesday 30th March

MSU Amnesty’s “Walk a mile in her shoes” seperates the men from the boys

Fencing Club shine at Easts For us Fencers, February and March can also be known as the “Broke Months”. It is the busiest time of the year for us, with competitions taking place nearly every weekend. The ‘East of Ireland Open’ took place in UCD the weekend before Valentines (aw). For some of our members, it was their first competition. Niamh Bowe placed 23rd; pretty good for a first-timer. It was an individuals’ competition, with all weapons competing. Our Maynoothians claimed spots in the top 15 of each of the six weapons, with Fergal Martin placing 2nd in Men’s Foil and Lorraine McGill placing 3rd in Women’s Epee. And yes, there was even scandal at this competition! For the first time in Irish Fencing History, a black card was issued...by our very own Clubs Officer, Kyle O’Regan! The receiver will remain anonymous, but no-one will forget the strop that resulted in a broken Epee weapon. The black card was issued because the fencer

committed the offence of Bad Sportsmanship by kicking his mask across the room, narrowly missing a lady and her son. All-in-all it was an exciting and eventful weekend! We are also busy for the next few weekends. This weekend we are off to Galway for the mighty craic that is the “Intervarsities”. Previous years have involved piste-songs (“We’re fencing on Sunshine” comes to mind), battery-less cars, and the ever famous “Varsity Virgins” task. I wonder what’ll happen this year??? And finally, we are holding a competition in our very own sports hall; ‘The Irish Student Championships’. Again, all weapons are competing, and the craic will be mighty! We’ll be making sandwiches galore on the Friday, and enjoying the company of our fellow fencers on the Saturday night. So if you’re part of the club, it is a fun-filled requirement that you fence! Kyra Wildy, P.R.O

Maynooth Marvels play fair in Tallaght

Maynooth Marvels entered two teams in IT Tallaght’s annual tournament Beyond the Cage along with eleven other sides. The decision was made at an early point that instead of having a stronger and a weaker team Maynooth would enter two sides of equal strength. NUIM1 were drawn alongside NUI Galway 1 and Trinity College 2nds in what was expected to be a close group. Maynooth were comfortable winners of their first game against Trinity picking up a 7-3 victory. Galway had already beaten Trinity meaning the winners of Maynooth versus Galway would win the group and advance automatically to the quarter finals, despite Maynooth leading for much of the match Galway scored late to win by one point. By virtue of a default win over UCD2 who were unable to field two teams, with their first string competing as both allowing the Marvels to qualify for the quarter finals where they would play tournament favourites Trinity 1 a billing they lived up to with a resounding 11-1 win over Maynooth. Maynooth 2 lost out in their opening game to DCU 7-2 before

picking up a default win over UCD2, meaning they qualified for the next round where like team 1 they were able to overcome the Trinity second team 7-5. Unfortunately they also fell in the quarter finals going down to UCD who narrowly lost the final to Trinity. The Sunday saw the matches to decide final positions begin with team 1 facing Queens and team 2 taking on DCU. Both sides put in good performances but fell short of victory meaning that the 7th place playoff would be between the two Maynooth teams. Team 2 picked up the victory with a 7-6 victory holding firm against a late team 1 comeback. Cillian Flynn won his third team MVP award in as many tournaments for team 1 with team 2 captain Darragh Herd picking up their award. Special mentions to Jack Longmire for two great diving catches against Queens, Niall McGrath and Ryan Cahill who both put in great performances for team 2 against team 1. The Marvels next tournament will hopefully be on home soil as we plan to host our own tournament in March.

surrender; girls really do have a much higher pain barrier than men. Once upon a time I believed that a kick in the nuts while suffering from manflu was the worst possible pain a human being could suffer, paling in comparison to women’s arch enemy child birth. But after walking a mile in women’s high heel shoes around campus for MSU Amnesty to commemorate international women’s day I understand a whole new level of pain. But I can’t speak for all the lads that took part however as some men seemed to takes to the high-rise shoes like ducks to water, recently elected mem-

bers of the SU executive know who I’m talking about. But my low male pain barriers aside, the annual MSU Amnesty event highlights the serious equality imbalance between men and women. While it is estimated that women perform two-thirds of the world’s work, they only earn one tenth of the income, and own less than one per cent of the world’s property. In many cultures, women and girls are subject to female genital mutilation, and are harmed and even killed in the name of tradition. For women in all countries, gender-based violence constitutes perhaps the

most common and serious violation of human rights. Last week, Iran took up its position as a member of the UN Women's Rights Commission, which is dedicated exclusively to “gender equality and advancement of women". Iran's election is surprising considering the regimes long history of imprisoning, torturing and executing female human rights activists who campaign peacefully for equality. The Commission on the Status of Women is responsible for conducting reviews of nations that violate women's rights, issue reports detailing their failings, and

monitor their success in improving women's equality. Iran’s election to the UN Women's Rights Commission is clear evidence that it is not politicians but people who must fight for gender equality, both male and female, of all religions and backgrounds. I hope you join MSU Amnesty in this fight and join us in taking action for women’s rights all over the world. Join us on Wednesday 23rd March at 6pm in Classhall E for a talk/workshop on Iran from Sheelan Yousefizadeh. Ciarán O’Carroll is MSU Amnesty’s Deputy Chair and Publications Ofﬁcer

Playdo, Cardboard War, fantastic BEGIN TRANSMISSION DESTINATION: Presidents Lawn of NUIG DATE: Thursday, March 24th During March just gone The Playdo Society of Maynooth was called to (cardboard) war by the Nothing Specific Society of NUI Galway, and wanting to uphold our glorious honour, we thoroughly accepted. As you may know Playdo is a neutral force, and thus, are troops numbers are maintained at a low, but when slanderous talk began against our good name we gathered our forces, marched to battle. From there we fought to the death of our cardboard lives to clear the good name of Maynooth. Over a period of a month Playdo held Armor making classes in the Common Room, in preparation for all those who fought alongside us. At first our armor was nothing more than drawings, grand ideas, but not it wasn’t long before our papery dreams, were manipulated into beautiful works of cardboard armor. The battle itself was treacherous, and sadly though we lost the final battle, we did ourselves proud, and walked away holding our heads high. In our one to one battle our own Gary O’Rourke, defeated a barbaric semi naked solider from the depths of Galway. Once the

troops were fallen, and we had retreated to the bar for some drowning of sorrows and nursing of wounds, another of our soldiers were rewarded for her efforts. Ciara Buckle received a medal for her outstanding armor, which even managed to survive the battle. Unknowns to our Galway

foes, we successfully kidnapped one of their own, their friend and mascot, Ducky. He travelled across the land home with us, and has been in attendance of all Playdo events to date, and will continue to do so until the time comes that The Nothing Specific Society deem themselves ready to fight for his freedom. When that day comes we will need your help, and thus and invitation is extended to

all those who deem themselves fearless, and want to uphold the honour of Maynooth . Should you wish to join us in our next battle, send forth your details to playdo@nuimsu.com and should you not, then be forever deemed a coward. This has been the Playdo Society, END TRANSMISSION

THE

News

Wednesday 30th March

Idea: ask people to submit names for the new canteen. Note for future: they will probably be awesome. Please find attached a list of proposed names

NUIMmmm - Name the new canteen! OK, it’s already been named. But we got a few great ideas. The Grill The Roof on Fire Phoenix The Fire Place The Hot House Toast Take Two Fire We Didn’t Start The Fire (has own theme tune) Memorial Cafe Burnt Crematorium

Fire Place Smokies Hot Property Gone with the wind Fire Proof Back from the ashes Insurance Claim 101 Smoke Alarm MatchBox Do You Smell Smoke? 28-11-08 Fire in 08 Stop, Drop and Chicken

-Fillet Roll Inferno Aine Brady’s Political Career Uncle Bertie’s Family Feedbag Captain Happy’s Chow Town About Time Canteen 2.0 Flaming Moe’s City Wok Chill Zone 5000 Flame Resistant Shifters Ground Zero

It Wasn’t Me Burning Sensations The Trough FREE EARL Smokey Joes The Shack What The Rock Is Cooking The Grub Hub The Hot Pocket Canteen The Bertie Bowl The Kebab n’ Wine Finally

Major Changes to Nitelink Services From March 25th, a series of changes will come into place with regards the late night Dublin Bus service for the capital. The Nitelink service also serves areas of Wicklow and North Kildare (that’s us!) that are near the capital. There are proposed changes to the 66N, which goes to Louisa Bridge from the city centre. This is the new proposed route: 66n From Westmoreland Street Towards Leixlip (Louisa Bridge) via Glen Easton Parkgate Street, Chapelizod, Palmerstown Footbridge, Lucan Statoil Station, Lucan Village, Leixlip (Captain’s Hill), Leixlip Village, Glen Easton, Leixlip (Louisa Bridge) While some routes have been changed, more worryingly some buses are now to run less frequently from the city. The 67N, which runs to Maynooth, will now run only at: 00:30, 02:00, 03:30 and 04:00. Likewise many buses serving suburbs of the capital where many Maynooth students live have also seen cutbacks. One bus in particular, the 25N, has seen some bizarre route modification. This popular Lucan service will now become what one friend (Aidan Rowe from the LnD take a bow) referred to as a sort of “sightseeing tour of Dublin”

with stops at James’ Street, Inchicore and Ballyfermot. The loss of midweek Nitelinks is still blamed by many Dubliners for the demise of the late night scene in the capital in recent times, and these changes to the serivce will not help things in the slightest. Dublin Bus is said to be under financial strain at present, and a recent increase in bus fares was seen as proof of this fact. Let us hope the Nitelinks are here to stay, even if they don’t come by as frequently as they once they did! Donal Fallon

Recommended: Astro2 Talk On Tuesday 29th March Astro2 will be hosting a talk presented by Dr. Joceyln Bell entitled "Will the world end in 2012? Examining the astronomical evidence". The Talk will take place in the John Hume Building JH3 and will begin at 7:30pm. This is a public talk so anyone can come.

Lily McGarry Music Soc Music is like sex - it’s about tension, relief and (if you’re lucky) some rhythm. And it was to great tension that the judges deliberated over the winner of this year’s Stars In Their Eyes competition in The Venue. The 10 (diverse) acts performed on the first of March. These were Little Richard, NDubz,Shirley Bassey, Motorhead, Pink, MeatLoaf, Boyz 2 Men, Adele, Kelly Clarkson and Spice Girls. It took a while for an audience to gather but once there was a crowd the atmosphere was unbelievable with them booing the judges for low scores and going wild whenever a judge gave full marks - and there were a few full marks. Our judges for the night were Edel Troy, Paula Size, Ben Mc Hugh, Mo Doris and Niall Hughes. It says a lot about the average Maynooth students’ talent that the standard was so incredibly high - act after act won

high cheers from the audience, and received glowing praise from the judging panel. The two acts to recieve standing ovations were The Spice Girls and Boyz 2 Men. Unusually, the lads had a better dance routine than the girls. In the end, however, ourwinners were Boyz 2 Men who impressed everyone with their 4 part harmonies and dance moves. Charity was not forgotten that night as entrance donations raised about €150 that night for the Saint Vincent de Paul. Anyone - not just music heads - can get involved. And it’s more about having a great night than it is winning. So to anyone who loves being on stage, winning competitions or even just Level 2 Karoke, start practising for next year.

music@nuimsu.com

6Snovember News

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Wednesday 30th March

The Biggest Cover Up In History?

Eye On: Dance Soc

There’s this guy that you’ve probably heard of. His name seems to pop up every now and then all over the place. The guy says he can perform miracles, and says he’s divine. You might know him; his name’s Jesus. And now we get to hear an answer to one of the biggest questions ever asked about him: Was his Resurrection the greatest fairytale ever told? On April 5th, 2011, the NUI Maynooth Christian Union will be holding the biggest event in its academic calendar. We are delighted to have Professor Stephen Williams from Union Theological College in Belfast come and give an evening based on answering as many facets to this great question. The evening will take place from 7PM to approximately 10PM in John Hume Lecture Theatre 2 on North Campus. Stephen will speak for roughly an hour, before opening the floor to questions from the audience. We would love it if you could make it. Anyone and everyone is welcome to come along, and please feel free to invite any friends and family who may be interested. This night is not just for Christians; this is a night for everyone to come along and hear some answers to one of life’s biggest questions. If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact the Christian Union at christianunion@nuimsu.com For those of you who are interested, here is Stephen’s backstory: Professor Stephen Williams was born and received his early education in Wales. He holds

Part 1: REWIND 10-3-11 Wrecked after our few days in Cork there was no rest for NUIM Dance Soc! The high we were on after intervarsity’s kept us going as we organised our end of year show “Rewind”. With a new revamped name we wanted to showcase the talent in NUIM Dance as well as the local community. In between our routines from intervarsaities and throughout the year, NUIM Music Soc’s band performed as did Beatboxing Kenno and Danny Hobbs a 16 year old Transition Year from Maynooth Post Primary, Dannys versions of Adel’s “Someone Like You” had many close to tears! However it was the routines that we had worked so hard at for weeks that really stole the show our Ballet, Irish Dance, Hip Hop and Mixed Routines were a real testament to the hard work every member of the Dance Soc put in through the year! We’re happy everyone else could see what an unbelievable job we all do J. Part 2: You’re still not convinced why you should dance? Sure, why not? Here are couple of reasons why you should give it a try. Dancing Is Fun Dancing is fun, simple as that. Where there is music, you will find people’s feet tapping along. We have found very few people (other than young boys) who did not have any fun dancing. You can argue all you want, but everybody knows that dancing is fun! Building Self-Conﬁdence Dancing builds self-esteem which is vital for any social or business situation. Even if you

MA degrees in Modern History from Oxford University and Theology from Cambridge University and, after a year studying Practical Theology in Aberystwyth, he pursued doctoral studies at the Department of Religious Studies, Yale University (Ph.D., 1981). In 1980 he was appointed to teach Theology at the denominational college in Aberystwyth. From 1991, he was

for three years based in Oxford at the Whitefield Institute for theological research and was appointed to his present position in 1994. Stephen Williams has published in different areas, including a recent work on Nietzsche, The Shadow of the Antichrist: Nietzsche’s Critique of Christianity (Baker Academic Press, 2006). He is married with three children. Philip King

don’t consider yourself shy, dancing will help you improve your confidence. Besides, What a wonderful way to flirt dancing can be! Who would say no to that? Meeting New People While you are unlikely to find the love of your life (though some have!), you will get an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. And Dance Soc nights out are lots and lots of fun - ask any of our members! Keeping Fit Dancing is a physical activity that gets the heart pumping and the blood flowing without putting too much stress on the body. Don’t like playing sports? Dancing is your answer to keeping fit! Dancing Makes an Excellent Hobby Can you think of a better way of passing time (apart from sleeping of course)? I didn’t think so. So whether you have been training for years or just showing your best moves on nights out, come along to any of our classes! I’ve nothing to lose, right? Part 3:

The All-Ireland Dance InterVarsities is one of our biggest events of the year. On the 2nd March we left the SU to travel to Cork for two nights, hoping that the hours spent dancing, choreographing and sewing costumes would pay off. After spending the first day rehearsing, we enjoyed a night of bowling and singing Karaoke. The following morning twenty eight of our dancers headed to UCC to compete in four categories: Irish Dancing, Hip Hop, Mixed and an Overall routine that combines several dance styles. Every year the standard improves but Maynooth rose to the challenge, pulling off four impressive dances. Despite, some tough competition, Maynooth came second in the mixed category with our ballet routine and second with the overall routine. A brilliant two days were topped with a great night out in Cork to celebrate. Thanks to all dancers, teachers, supporters and anyone who helped to make the competition happen. Dance Soc

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PRINT Eye-On Special

Wednesday 30th March

A view from the top

Everybody needs a break, climb a mountain or jump in a lake!

The Great Outdoors Club

Rovers

ne of the most common questions that we get asked is “What does Rovers stand for?” At its most basic we are the outdoors club, we like to go hiking, rockclimbing, camping, learn outdoors skills like orienteering and just enjoy the great outdoors. We also do plenty of cosy indoor stuff too, like our movie nights or just getting together somewhere on campus to chill out with all the great people that are in the club. We emphasise that no one who wants to join up needs any prior hiking experience or outdoor skills as the whole point of Rovers is to teach you these skills. For many of our members joining Rovers was the first time that they ever set foot on a mountain or walked through the countryside. Rovers is at its core “The great outdoors club”. Now that you know what we are about let me introduce you to the fine folk who run the club. Ciara Beatty our fearless president who we would follow up any mountain is by far the driving force of Rovers, second in command Sean Fahey equally as fearless. Anne Kelly on equipment makes sure we have all the gear that we need, Andy Garrad looks after the financial aspects of the club, Mark O’ Quigley is Rovers secretary and does a great job with the logistics of organising events, the handsome and charming “Me” Declan Supple as Rovers PRO and finally John Devitt our first year rep

Rovers next event is a movie night Tuesday 22nd March (details on facebook.) On Friday 1st April they’ll be hiking into the Wicklow mountains - it’s free, fun, and all are welcome. Rovers@nuimsu.com by Ciara Beatty, Crew Leader is the baby of the bunch. Not to forget Jamie Gorman who in a way is kind of a consultant to Rovers and helps us out with his extensive outdoors skills set. This year we have tried to do as many events as possible and encourage first time outdoors people to get involved. We kicked off semester one with an introductory day hike in the Wicklow Mountains, on the 9th of October a bus load of novices and experienced hikers touched down at Djouce Mountain just outside of Roundwood. We looked a right sight some in the full hiking get up others carrying handbags, though we all had a great time despite some aches from unused limbs the next day. It was a great opportunity for everyone to get to know one another and we also went for a few drinks and sum grub in the roost after, which has now become a Rovers tradition. Our next big outing was during the Halloween break when a bunch of us headed to Dundalk to try out some hill walking among the beautiful Cooley Mountains. The views were breathtaking right out over the valley of Glenmore and the northern Irish Sea, when at the summit we could see the unmistakable sugar loaf and Wicklow Mountains 90 kilometres to the south. We stayed for two nights in a Scout hall in Dundalk and got the bus in to the Cooley’s for our hike, the accommodation wasn’t the Hilton by far, but with the amount of fun we were having it didn’t matter. We stocked up

on the first night with plenty of food from Aldi “Cheap and Cheerful as Ciara says” and had some great slap ups after our long hiking. Our dear Mr.Chomps provided us with soothing melodies on his guitar which led in to bit of a session with Sean lending his guitar skills to the mix. Throughout the first month of the first semester Jamie and Anne held a hiking skills course on campus every Tuesday evening for those who wished to learn. They taught us some great stuff like reading maps, how to take and follow bearings using a compass and map which is the corner stone to navigating through the wilderness. They also gave us the run down on all the proper equipment we needed for hiking (which Rovers supplies) and all the aspects of mountain and hiking safety. This course completely broadened my knowledge of all these skills, which we apply to our hikes and to our best abilities put to practice. 14th of November saw Rovers back in the Wicklow mountains for another day hike, Ciara and Jamie led a small band of novices through the unreal mist and fog up Mullaghcleevaun and to East top, which are two spectacular summits in the west of the range yet with all the mist it was difficult to see our position on the map. The skills course really kicked in that day with us novices using nothing but a compass and a map to navigate our way through the crazy mist to our

pick up point, with Ciara and Jamie only stepping in to make sure we were reading our bearings correctly. To date that has to be one of my favourite hikes by far despite the cold or the wet. During the beginning of December we organised a beginners rockclimbing course in UCD who ran a two hour introduction course in how to use a harness and spot for someone climbing the wall, which is one impressive facility. We learned how to tie the right knots to support our weight and how to rig the lines, and by the end of the day we were on our own in teams of two scrambling up the wall like monkeys. Just some more skills Rovers has added to our set. We broke for Christmas for some well needed study but once semester two began we dived right back in at full speed. So far semester two has been jam packed with as many events as possible, with at least one thing on each week to keep the momentum up. An achievement or notch to our hiking belts was February 13th when Rovers scaled the slopes of Lugnaquillia in Wicklow to reach the summit of the highest mountain in all of Leinster at 925 metres. Probably the toughest hike we have done so far through different levels of glaciated valleys higher and higher till we came over the crest to the tip top of the mountain. The effort was well worth it with absolutely amazing views to be had across the whole of the Wicklow moun-

tain range. The day itself was bright and clear giving us the best views possible. We all had a very surreal time during our night hike around the horse shoe at Tibradden in the Dublin Mountains on February 16th. We had a great turnout for this event, single file we trudged along all carrying our torches or wearing headlamps which led the way around the track through the rain and down to the Merry Ploughboy. Unfortunately we arrived just after closing time. Despite this minor glitch the night hike was a major success, an event which we will do plenty more of in the future. We closed off February with a campus camp out on the grass between John Hume building and the Arts Block. Some of you may remember seeing us at 9am cooking up our sausages and sleepily trying to take down our tents. An equally surreal feeling camping out on campus with 5 of us in one of the tents let me tell you, you would not have wanted to be claustrophobic. March has so far and will be even more jam packed than February, March 5th we were back down to our main hiking playground which is the Wicklow Mountains. We tackled Djouce Mountain again the same summit of 725 metres as our first hike yet this time we took it from a different angle. We started beside Powerscourt Waterfall which even though was around half a mile away we could hear the water thundering over the cliff to the valley floor below. The bus driver for that day was an avid hiker himself who after dropping us off parked up and climbed the mountain himself from the other side with us meeting up at the top to a debate of who made it first. We had a movie night in Iontas on the 8th which after a few minutes you forgot you were in college and not in a real cinema; we even had plenty of junk food to keep us fuelled through our viewing. Now we are all ready and set for our study week camping trip to Larch Hill campsite in the Dublin Mountains from the 14th to 16th. All the gear is packed and it promises to be the event of the year, with loads of activities planned all in the great Rovers theme. We are going to camp out do some real back woods cooking, pioneering(building structures with wood), hiking just as much as we can fit in over the 3 days, not to mention the craic we will have just chilling round the fire. For the rest of the semester we have so much more planned from hikes to movie nights and maybe even some more camping not to mention our club hoodies which will be ready soon. We try our utmost to do things at the best cost we can get, we ask that you put something towards events and we will get the rest. We are all students strapped for cash and so we endeavour to do things at the best possible price out there. It’s never too late to join Rovers. At each event we see new faces raring to go, even if you just come along to try it out once you will not get a warmer welcome from any club. Just with my time in Rovers I have met loads of new friends and great people and gotten to see and do things I would have never on my own, if you have any adventure in you at all you have to join up. Our next event is another movie night. It will be Tuesday the 22nd of March, details on facebook. Also, I am pleased to write, on Friday the 1st of April, there will be a hike into the Wicklow Mountains. And don’t worry we will be back on time for you to get the bus/train home. To get in contact with us check out NUIM Rovers on facebook or send an email to rovers@ nuimsu.com .

THE

News

Wednesday 30th March

All of MSU’s motions at USI Congress in Dunboyne passed, including: to support the minimum wage being returned to its’ immediately previous level; to oppose the abolition of the NUI, and to oppose bonus points for higher level maths in the Leaving Certificate.

One Maynooth student that was active during the recent elections gave everyone involved in those elections a bad cold. Then, the entire MSU Executive caught the cold. The Exec then brought this virus to USI Congress in Dunboyne and now every SU in the country is sick. Go Maynooth!

ThePrint@nuimsu.com To get involved with your student paper, ﬁre off an email to theprint@nuimsu.com. We do home news, national student news, fun stuff, serious stuff, usefull stuff, social stuff anything to do with students.

Getting involved in the Union From trampolining to making a difference in other people’s lives Laura & Kellie Legends Many students when they join college know nobody in the college, all their friends are gone to different colleges and they feel completely isolated. There are a number of ways to get involved within the college, clubs and societies, Union Council, Volunteering, the list goes on. Clubs and Societies are a great way to get involved within college life. Many people feel that they are the life blood of the college experience. There are lists the length of our arms of clubs and societies to get involved in, with something for everyone, from Archery to Volleyball, from Amnesty to Tea and everything in between, you are bound to find something that you would enjoy! Societies and clubs breathe life into University life. Without them, we would all go mad from the stress of college life, they provide the perfect outlet from college work. If you are nervous about joining anything new, just send them a mail and pop along, everyone will be more than welcoming to you! Most clubs or socs will meet you beforehand if you are nervous, so it can take away some of the first time jitters! Clubs and societies aren’t the only way to get involved in college life. Each class has a representative on Union Coun-

cil, which is the main decision making body for the Union. Being a class rep is a great way to get a bird’s eye view on how the Union decides policy and how the Union works. Class Reps usually report back to their class before and after Union Council (of which there are a minimum of 3 a semester and usually you get fed!). Being a Class Rep is a brilliant

way to make friends within your class but also to mix with people outside you’re degree choice. Many times people in, for example, Science might not meet with people in Music, because the classes rarely overlap, so at Union Council you can. Volunteering in college is becoming increasingly popular. More and more people are

Students share prescription drugs to save money Almost 40% of 3rd Levellers have done it at some stage College students are sharing prescription drugs to avoid paying a doctor, an investigation by the School of Applied Psychology at University College Cork has found. 37pc of a study of 343 undergraduate students between the ages of 18 and 25 had engaged in this (pretty dangerous) behaviour in a bid to save money. Local GPs have said the sharing or borrowing of medicated drugs was now ‘‘common

practice’’ among college students. The aim of the study was to determine the prevalence and the characteristics of sharing and borrowing medicines among students in an Irish university. The report also notes the lack of research attention given to the issue, despite potential serious health risks. Though it occurs across all age groups, it is particularly high amongst young adults.

26pc or respondents admitted to borrowing medicine, and another 20pc admitted to sharing prescribed medicines with others. 12pc had done both. In almost every instance, saving money was the prime motivation behind the action, and nearly a fifth reported the inconvenience of going to a doctor as another reason. 14pc said they didn’t actually feel sick enough to warrant a trip to the doctor.

Quinn to tackle “Catholic Right Wing” in education NEW Education Minister Ruairi Quinn has promised to change shake up the department he previously attacked for putting Church interests ahead of those of the students it served. While in opposition, Mr Quinn had suggested education officials could be “members of secret societies, such as the Knights of St Columbanus and Opus Dei, and have taken it upon themselves to protect the interests of these clerical orders”. He also described many department officials as either “Catholic right wing” or being “incompetent, lazy and destructive”. Some of his harshest criticism had been aim at its handling of the Ryan Report on institutional child abuse, and the frustration involved in soliciting honest answer from the Dail on properties owned by the religious congregations

involved. But Mr Quinn has vowed he would be “a new broom” in the department. He added: “In time, I will be giving guidance on how questions can be factually answered.” Mr Quinn was speaking at the annual conference of the Catholic Primary School Managers Association (CPSMA) in his first official engagement as Education Minister. Without much delay, he announced a Forum on Patronage and Pluralism to decide how to transfer some of the 92pc of primary schools under Catholic control to other patrons to create greater diversity and choice. Mr Quinn has given the forum nine months only to complete its findings with an aim to its proposed changes being implemented the following year. Parents and other interested parties are free to

get involved. “We have to provide for an array of choice in our education system and ensure that different forms of patronage reflect the diversity of our modern society and the choices of parents,” he said. Mr. Quinn has even garnered support from some members of the Church: The Catholic Archbishop of Dublin, Dr Diarmuid Martin, has been pushing for church schools to be handed over to others to provide choice. Bishop Leo O’Reilly has also welcomed the process of consultation on the matter. Previous requests from INTO - the Irish National Teachers Organisation - had been ignored by previous occupants of the ministry. INTO has suggested that this reflected more conservative, rural Irish views about reducing the number of Catholi schools.

realising the importance of helping others in need, which is an amazing thing to see. People are volunteering time with local groups, such as Friends of St Raphaels, who spend time each week with the lovely people out in St. Raphael’s in Celbridge, or SVP who do amazing work helping others selflessly, or every other society that take time

to raise money for charity. These simple acts of “human niceness” can make someone’s week and take an hour at a time. Most people could spare this and make a small difference in someone’s life. To conclude, we would recommend you get involved in College Life with both hands, it’s not too late! If you are interested in something, give

it a bash! It could be that Fencing is your calling, or Playdo have a craft you are perfect at. You won’t know if you don’t give it a go! Laura Feeney President MSU Amnesty Kellie Fagan Suicide IO MSU Mental Health Soc

THE

News

Wednesday 30th March

Wickow student Gary Redmond Re-Elected USI President voted by USI Congress to hold second term of office Wicklow native Gary Redmond has been re-elected as President of the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) at the organisation’s Annual Congress in Dunboyne, County Meath. Delegates from across the island voted overwhelmingly in favour of Redmond’s re-election with 92% voting for Redmond. Prior to his election as USI President, Redmond served as President and Vice-President of UCD Students’ Union. USI is the national representative body of students in further and higher education. Established in 1959, USI celebrated its 50thanniversary in 2009 and currently represents 450,000 students in over forty educational institutions across the island of Ireland. Along with campaigning on behalf of students, USI represents learners on the Higher Education Authority (HEA), National Qualifications Authority of Ireland (NQAI), Higher Education Training Awards Council (HETAC) & the Irish Universities Quality Board (IUQB). Speaking following his re-election USI President, Gary Redmond said: “The last nine months have been momentous. Our response to the previous Government’s attempts to reintroduce tuition fees, cut student supports and their failure to tackle the graduate emigration crisis will go down in the history books. In November over 40,000 students from across the country marched on Government buildings, while in February over 15,000 students registered to vote and young people turned out in unprecedented numbers to have their say in Ireland’s future. We’ve kick started a wave of student action, brought a government to its knees, and

Eye On: MSU Mental Health Society

Gary Redmond, re-elected USI President March 2011 at USI Congress in Dunboyne shaped the public debate on education in an unprecedented fashion.” Redmond added: “The new Government brings with it a new landscape and the challenges over the next twelve months will be great. It will be essential for USI to support students’ unions and student officers to continue to deliver for students, whilst running a major national campaign to ensure that education remains accessible to all. Above all, we’ll need to reach out and engage

with the full diversity of our membership. I want to say thank you to the hundreds of students and student officers who have been so supportive this year, and indeed for the support for my re-election. It goes without saying that I will continue to bring the same determination, drive and ambition that I have done through out my first term, and I will be relentless in ensuring I do the very best I can in the role. We should be proud of what we have achieved, and

it has been an honour to be President at this time. If I have one criticism of this year, it would be that we have not been quick enough to talk about our achievements - and I hope we can pause for a moment to remedy this. Let’s push on to make sure we credit ourselves for what we have achieved, and ensure we work together to push USI and the student movement to the next level.” USI has also elected its Deputy President, Welfare Officer, Equality Officer,

Equality Officer and LGBT Rights Officer to serve students for the next academic year. Gary Redmond (USI President), Re-Elected President Colm Murphy (USI Education Officer) Elected Deputy President Scott Ahern (Welfare Officer, UCD SU) Elected Welfare Officer Ger Gallagher (USI Disability Rights Officer), Elected Equality Officer Siobhan McGuire, Elected LGBT Rights Officer

Genital warts epidemic warning at IT Tralee (no, really) Rob Munnelly Loves fonts Thank God for Liz, our VP Welfare. Turns out we don’t pay her enough. In the past 10 years, Maynooth students have suffered little worse than the common cold in epidemic form, with only the mumps outbreak two years ago the closest Maynooth has come to a serious ‘epidemic’. However, last week an allstudent email from the Welfare Officer to those enrolled in IT Tralee warned them “there is a genital warts epidemic in the

college.” Furthermore, the email advises IT Tralee students to attend the free, confidential GUM clinic for a checkup. The clinic originally made contact with the Welfare Officer, Katie, to advise them that half of all students to visit the clinic either is carrying the virus, or actually has visible warts. Students are completely free and encouraged to now refer to IT Tralee as “Hogwarts”.

USI Welcomes New Deposit Retention Scheme in Government Programme Press Release Union of Students in Ireland The Union of Student in Ireland (USI) has welcomed the presence of a new Deposit Retention Scheme in the new Programme for Government. Approximately 50 per cent of cases brought to Private Residential Tenancies Board (PRTB) relate to deposit retention and can take up to a year to be processed. In more than 75 per cent of cases some or all of the money is ordered to be returned to the tenants. The introduction of this new Deposit Retention Scheme will significantly reduce the number of disputes between landlords and tenants.

Football Tennis champs and student tenants. G’wan.

Only 9% of students can get purpose built student accommodation, which means that the majority of students live in private rented accommodation. USI has campaigned extensively for the introduction of a Deposit Retention Scheme in recent years and is delighted that the scheme will now become a reality. USI Welfare Officer, Rebecca Murphy, said: “USI has welcomed this new Deposit Retention Scheme, as it will cut down on the high numbers of students, who encounter difficulties in recovering their deposit from their landlords. In research carried out by USI, over 40% of students have had issues

regarding deposit retention – a deposit retention scheme would mean that student money is kept safe and will result in less trouble for both landlords and tenants. Delays in the return of deposits can cause untold misery and financial hardship for students, especially those on low incomes and from lowincome families who may be depending on the return of the deposit to save for their new accommodation’s deposit. Losing the deposit can mean that money needed for food, bills, books and other college expenses must be redirected into the new accommodation, resulting in a lowering of quality of life for these students.”

Words: Ruta Lankelyte Mental Health Society. You might have heard of us, you definitely saw us. In bright painted t-shirts, giving hugs and notes with acts of kindness scribbled on them last term. Only recently we were selling pancakes in the arts block and giving out a multitude of leaflets, just in case, to keep you informed. That’s kind of our job, to make sure you are aware of mental health and taking care of yours as well as NOT sending any funny looks to the guy or gal who seems just a little bit off kilter recently. If we’re being successful you might even give them a hand with whatever they’re going through. We’re not a support group, so we can’t offer you counseling but we’ll definitely direct you to the right people who will help. We’re also very big on prevention: don’t get stressed and thus do not go crazy. To emphasize that one, we held a stress workshop and I’m sure as the exams draw near we’ll have another one, to make sure you’re not burning out. We are always organizing talks and keeping you informed. Our notice board, on the way to class hall E in the arts block is so packed with leaflets it looks like it might come alive at any moment and run off. Upside to that? You’ll find what you need, whatever it may be. So have a look, or e-mail us (mhs@ nuimsu.com). If you want to get involved we’re still taking on new members ;) And if you’re a little fed up reading about all the serious stuff, WE WILL BE PAINTING PEOPLE BLUE!!! That’s one thing I’m really looking forward to. Why? As if we need a reason, but we have one. Blues Week. We’re gonna have blues music, comedians, talks raising awareness about depression and SMURFS. Seriously, they’re already spreading across campus, slowly they will take over the world. Or at least NUIM, I can promise you that much. So what are we about really? YOU. We’re raising awareness about mental health and removing the stigma that tends to come with it. But our focus is all the students on campus. We don’t discriminate and try to get everyone involved. We also raise money for charities. Busking during Random Acts of Kindness Week made a fortune for Make a Wish Foundation. Blues Week will gather money for Zara’s trust. They are raising money to finance stem cell treatment abroad for a two year old girl who’s quality of life depends on it, it’s her chance to walk, talk or see. (More info at: zarastrust.com, GET INVOLVED!!) And if that wasn’t enough, one of our committee members is going to shave her head for charity! And we’ll make a night out of it. We’re MHS, we’re fun, we’re socially responsible and we are trying to make the university a better place for all of us.

10 Snovember

National News

New Year, New You Get fit when it suits you with early morning or lunchtime pilates class or evening tribal fusion bellydance classes in the Students’ Union.

Classes are open to the staff & students of NUI Maynooth and are also open to members of the local community

THE

Wednesday 30th March

accounts @nuimsu.com

Chaplaincy: What’s On GALWAY CYCLE On Friday 25th over 200 cyclists March mount their bikes and head for Eyre Square Galway. Over the past 24 years over €500,000 has been raised for a number of charities. It started out as a group of Maynooth students who wished to make a difference. It continues to do Pieta House – so. This year’s charity is Ireland’s first community based centre for the Prevention of Self-Harm or Suicide. Final Open Meeting Tuesday 22nd March compulsory for all GC11 attendees. Following the meeting there's Bingo and Beer in Brady's from 9pm.

GALWAY CYCLE BOOK SALE

An annual tradition - the Galway Cycle Book Sale organised by Mags will be happening in the Arts Block on Wednesday 23rd of March from 10.30am unwanted - 2pm. You can drop your books down to Mags on the day also

REFLECTION TO ACTION

Trocaire invites you to a reflection day for young adults (18-35). This Lent, take some time out to explore how your faith relates to the bigger justice questions in the world today. Where: Trocaire, South Campus, NUIM. When: Fri and Sat 8th and 9th April. Cost: €40/€25 student and unwaged (meals plus Friday night accommodation on campus included).

GRINDS - VOLUNTEERS WANTED

Volunteers being sought to give free grinds to second level students in Maths, Science (Biology, Physics, Chemistry), Irish, French, German and Economics. Grinds to run an-hour aweek for four weeks. If interested, please chaplaincy@nuim.ie.

RADIO MASS

RTE Radio 1 will broadcast Mass on Sunday 27th March at 10am from the National Centre for Liturgy, St. Patrick’s College, Maynooth. Celebrant: Father Patrick Jones with students and friends of the National Centre for Liturgy.

CLUBS & SOCIETIES AWARDS

Don’t forget Clubs and Societies night on Tuesday next, 29 March, Glenroyal Hotel, 7.30pm. Tickets available in front office of SU, 35 Euro, afters 10 Euro.

CAREERS DEVELOPMENT CENTRE INFORMATION

SESSIONS Where can I go from Here? Thursday 24th March 3pm – 4pm, Aula Maxima and again on Thursday 31st March 12.15 – 12.45 in John Paul 11. Meet at the main entrance of the Library for this session.

MEDITATION

Please note next meeting – a guided reflection- Monday, March 28th at 5pm in the Quiet Room, Arts Building, North Campus. Everyone welcome.

COUNSELLING SERVICES

Student Services Centre North Campus . Opening Hours Mon. – Fri. 9.30am – 1.pm & 2.00pm – 5.00pm. Drop in Service during term 2.00pm – 2.30pm. Phone 7083554 Self Referral to the Service is welcomed and encouraged!

COFFEE AT 11

Weekly free tea/coffee and biscuits continues this Wednesday in the Arts Building 10.45 – 11.15 courtesy of Student Union and Student Services.

MEDICAL CENTRE

New Walk in Clinic Daily walk in clinic held strictly between eg. 9.30am -10.30am. This clinic is for those who are ‘sick on the day’ only. It is hoped students will find this useful and that it will help to cut down on the waiting times to see us. Student Services Centre. Nurses Pauline & Kathleen & Dr. Helen: 10-1pm & 2-4pm. Appointments, contact Rose, 01-7083878.

LECTIO DIVINA

Lectio Divina in An Tobar – Student Services Building from 5- 6pm. Continues Wednesday 23rd March and each following Wednesday. Tea/coffee at 4.45pm. All Welcome. For more information email Margaret.mcconalogue@ nuim.ie.

FRIENDS OF ST. RAPHAEL’S

We will be heading out this Tuesday 22nd March to visit St Raphael’s, a centre for people with intellectual disabilities. Meeting as usual, 7pm at the South Campus Gate. If you haven't come before, come and see for yourself what we do! Go on...give it a go!!

THE MATHS SUPPORT CENTRE

The Maths Support Centre offers free non-judgmental help with Maths for all NUIM undergrads.

EASTER VACATION Just a reminder by way of an update to our Chaplaincy calendar, the Easter Break this year is the week before Easter, that is, Monday, 18 April to Friday, 22 April inclusive. Easter Monday Bank Holiday is 25 April. Lectures resume on Tuesday, 26 April.

Pilates Monday Tuesday Tuesday Wednesday

1.00 - 2.00p, 8.00-9.00am 9:30-10:30am 100-2.00pm

Tribal Fusion Bellydance Tuesday Wednesday

9:30-10:30am 100-2.00pm

NUI May Scientests in world-first study on next phase of web generation The ‘limitless’ potential of mining and utilising user-generated content on the internet is being explored through a world-first European study into the next generation of the internet in which NUI Maynooth is a key participant. Among the potential applications the NCG (National Centre for Geocomputation) at NUI Maynooth will be examining through the €6 million Geocrowd project along with colleagues in Germany, Denmark, Switzerland and Greece, will be how to gather, filter, interpret and use the millions of ‘vapour trails’ users leave behind when using internet, SMS and other communications in order to enhance our state of knowledge of the world. Examples include: Knowing that large numbers of people are Googling “flu symptoms” in a particular area, can identify a potential outbreak before patients present at their GP. This can hugely assist hospital planning, drug stocking and other first-response resources. The date and time stamps left on tourist photos posted on Flickr can assist tourism agencies and individual users with rich data about most popular routes and sights around cities. Next-generation augmented reality will allow smartphone users to know not just what restaurants or theatres make available about themselves but also to aggregate and select reviews from different types of people instantaneously to help with decision making.

A key challenge for Geocrowd will be to make the use of geopositioning facilities more reliable on mobile networks and more effective indoors. Current GPS based technology is only properly functional in an outdoor setting. This could help locate friends at concert venues or find individuals ill or trapped in buildings. Professor Stewart Fotheringham, Director of NCG at NUI Maynooth, commented “there has been a staggering explosion in the amount of data about our lives, habits and experiences posted and available on the internet or cyberspace over the last few years. A lot of this information, if properly filtered, can be of immense use – to enhance people’s lives, for business, for civic planning and for fun. It’s like a geodata tsunami at the moment and this European project is about training a new generation of scientists to be able to tame the tsunami and transform it into meaningful chunks of information that can be obtained as quickly and easily as conventional Web-based search.” Geocrowd is currently recruiting 13 PhD students across six universities including NUI Maynooth for a threeyear term under an EU Marie Curie international training programme to be part of this new generation of experts. All posts carry a salary in the region of €35,000 along with a significant travel bursary. Irish recruits will be based in one of the European partner universities which include University of Bremen and Free University of Berlin (Germany), National Technical

University of Athens (Greece), Aarhus University (Denmark) and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology Zurich (Switzerland). Each of the partner universities was selected for its existing and complementary expertise covering areas such as network technology, geospatial data and web systems development. “The internet is changing so rapidly that what we can do now, particularly in the cutting-edge area of geospatial information, will seem positively primitive in five years time. At the moment, Googlemaps, Wikiwalk, Twitter and other applications provide pretty useful, often fun but basically linear types of information to us. The next step is real time, user generated, three dimensional data that bring inanimate buildings and objects alive, infused with other peoples’ experiences of them”, said Professor Fotheringham. Professor Fotheringham said that Web 2.0 projects of this nature raised obvious issues of privacy, and this is a discussion to be had. “That is probably for another domain though. There are clearly huge benefits and potential from this kind of work and the important first step is to realise what can be achieved, and then look at managing it correctly”, he added. Geocrowd is currently recruiting interested PhD candidates with expertise in internet, communications, Geocomputation or related fields. Further information is available from www.geocrowd.eu

British Queen not Welcome? Listening to people like Irish Hotels Federation’s Chief Tim Fenn and Tourism Ireland CEO Niall Gibbons you would almost think that the British Queen’s visit was all we needed to get the country back on it’s feet. IMF/ECB bailout? I don’t think so, bring old Liz over, according to many of the leading “experts” the tourism sector will boom, and sure what else could you want? I don’t think that I nor the speakers themselves have the patience or expertise to try and tease out the reality from these golden nuggets of speculation however the fact of the matter is the only boost to the Irish economy we are likely to see will be a one day spending spree on lollypops and tiny Union Jacks. I really am sure the country will prosper after such an anti-Paddy’s day. Bearing in mind of course that our taxes are likely to pay for the security of such a high and mighty visitor, one is forced to ask during a time of such economic hardship can it really be justified? I don’t know about you but I don’t want to see my taxes (yes I have paid taxes) pumped into high powered rifles designed to prevent Elizabeth’s jewel encrusted Crown from being damaged by some unruly protestor. Before reading this you may have had a preformed opinion on the matter but hear me out. Denounce me as a political zealot if you will, but here are a few of the reasons why I am totally opposed to the Visit of her majesty the Queen. The British Queen is the head of the British armed forces. I hear people constantly question the limits of her power but she is the sole person who can declare war and conclude wars on other countries. At present the British armed forces act as an occupying force in Iraq. The conflict thus far has claimed an estimated 122,483 civilian deaths. In Afghanistan where the queen’s forces

Opinion

are also present, 8131 Afghan civilians have been killed or injured in the past 2 years alone. Bear in mind that the original invasion took place in 2001, that is a quite a damning number of civilian deaths in just 2 years. I’m not sure about you but I’m not a huge fan of either conflict and I certainly won’t be there to shower the head of said armed forces with red, white and blue confetti. Setting aside the farcical nature of hereditary title for the moment, I would like to point out that our soon to be imperialist visitor is arguably not even the legitimate Queen of England! Yes people you heard it here first, an impostor! Ok, I’ll explain, great great granny Victoria’s consort was Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha therefore Queen Elizabeth is a patrilineal descendant of Albert's family, a German no less. So rather than buying out all the Union Jacks in Dublin paint yourself in black red and yellow, it will do the job nicely. It ceaselessly amazes me that once the Queen’s visit is mentioned, people

go on the defensive, the Good Friday agreement, a sign of our political maturity, great for the country are terms bandied about from all sides. I however fail to see the merit in celebrating a visit by the Chief of the British armed forces when said forces happen to be occupying 6 of the 32 counties of our country. I can see our very constitution snapping like an enchanted book from Harry Potter at the thought. On a serious note however with the ink on the Saville report not even dry and the Ballymurphy massacre not even given mention, I find it a tad stinging that my Government and President would welcome a woman with honorary title in the Paratrooper Regiment responsible for the acts, to the south of our country with such open arms. The invitation is immature. The wounds from the Irish conflict are far too fresh. And while the North remains under British control I couldn’t see myself supporting such a move. Cathal Donnelly

THE

National News

Wednesday 30th March

Student

Wine Guide So, having started at a level all too high in the last issue of The Print with my assumptions of what we all know about wine, I decided to try a different approach.

Wine

(n) fermented grape-juice as an alcoholic drink

Fermentation

(n) the breakdown of a substance by micro-organisms, such as yeast, usually in the absence of oxygen, especially of sugar to alcohol (For Arts Students, this means “gone bad/off”, much like the milk on your coco pops this morning. I’d like to add I do not assume that you don’t understand the term as you don’t do science, but as with your abundance of free time, one is simply led to believe that you have in fact drank the very word from your head-which on that achievement, mazel tov)

Grape-Juice

(W*) I have by far underestimated your intelligence, you can in fact read. Now, assuming you actually need to be told what this is, please for your and my own health, stop reading, pick up your Dutch Gold and go away, before I hurt myself trying to hurt you. (*= Warning, e.g. “I’ll shove this corkscrew so far up your....”)

Now, building blocks set in place, welcome to all those with a sense of humour and a curiosity about wine. I’ve picked a few wines from the Wine Mill, as there is a good selection in there, with most wines well under the mark of 20 quid. A big bonus of the Mill is that the staff are a friendly bunch, the owner will be all too happy to try and pick out a wine to suit your tastes and budget. That all aside I’ll press ahead to the wines. (Side note to those without the sense of humour but so much dignity that you said you’d continue despite the crudities- I assumed you understood the last few sentences as all the words are small. Also the one big word “selection” is most likely one you are acquainted e.g. selection box)

Segada, Portugal 2009 White, Mix of Chardonnay and Arinto grapes; Best Old World Wine Under €8 Irish wine Show

€7.99

Tasting notes: Syrupy apple body to the taste, however that’s short lived until a sharp citrus after taste kicks in. All in all this is a very cheap and chirpy wine. It’s similar to Pinot Grigo in terms of the apple notes; for anyone familiar with the Italian all rounder, but beware the citrus kick will be unpleasant if you are not that hot on citrus. I might dispute the award, but would not slash the wine too much; it’s a good bottle for €8.

Segada, Portugal 2008 Red (Merlot and several local grapes)

€8.99

Tasting notes: Typical merlot autumn fruit plum and cherry (these two are a normally pairing), not very well defined difference between the two, feels as if they compete on the palate and this take away slightly, there is a lovely coco note present too, it changes from a more strong dark chocolate to a softer note as the wine opens up. A side note about the tasting of this wine is it was recorded in crayon by a friend, as I screamed notes across a room. There is some slight reasoning into the providing of this window into my neurotic life, the wine was enjoyed more in a larger group. From experience better memories are had if wine is drunk with a group of friends. It can make all the difference in a wine tasting mediocre and pretty good. This aside, this wine is massively underrated. At €8.99, it’s a real bargain. It has all the typical notes of a pure merlot (a much underrated grape) with the added quirkiness of the chocolate note. A nice finishing point

2. 3.

Petit Fumé, AoC, 2008 White (Sauvignon Blanc)

€15 Tasting Notes: Crisp and clean wine, brilliantly structured fresh apple and citrus (again), with lovely mineral notes, finishing with acidity to clear the palate after each mouthful. Sauvignon Blanc has risen to popularity of late- especially with the rise of New Zealand wine. While New Zealand is now regarded as the King of Sauvignon Blanc, I feel that this title is fairly undermining of the French examples. With the regulations in France, the wines produced are reliable, while slightly expensive, they rarely fail to impress. This sounds similar to the Segada, but see it as this the Segada is a slutty trampish wine, fruits everywhere, and a right auld kick! This is sleek; it has distinct fruit notes and subtle hints to leave you curious. Its greatest drawback (being students) is the price. However remember it is on offer, so it’s well worth picking up as a treat before Christmas! I’d also add, with wine it’s a rare example of getting more than you paid for!

Rob Quinn

THE

12 Snovember

Sorta-news

Wednesday 30th March

Student talent showcase: Photos by...

Andrew Carroll

Students Union SHOP

Arts Block

A student of NUIM, Andrew is currently in 2nd year of the BMus degree.

Photocopying Binding Laminating Second hand books Stationery NUIM branded goods –

Hoodies, hats, scarves, bags etc Location: North side of Arts Block (pre-fab), entrance via Arts Block or opposite Biology building

Has a photography page on Facebook, which can be easily found, by searching for “Andrew Carroll Photography”. Started photography in transition year, and has kept it up since then, with spurts of creativity coming and going, as is how it usually goes with any form of art and the artist responsible.

The Print

Showcase

Sorta-news

Library Survey: Background T

he Library carried out a Survey using LibQUAL, an International Academic Library Survey Package. The aim of the survey was threefold. Firstly it aimed to identify areas of satisfaction and dissatisfaction among our library users which would help us to identify our current strengths and weaknesses. Secondly, this information helped us in the preparations for the new library building and also for our recent Quality Review.

Finally, as this is an international package we can benchmark ourselves with academic libraries internationally. NUI Maynooth library carried out this survey in May/June 2010. Other Irish University Libraries also carried out this survey over 2010, so in addition to international benchmarking, we can also compare our findings with our colleagues nationally. The survey had 603 respondents; please see the chart to the right for a breakdown.

Survey Questions

The Survey looked at three key areas which are the following:

1. 2.

Affect of Service i.e. how satisfied are library users with their engagement with library staff; Information Control i.e. how satisfied are library users with our collections both print and electronic and also with our website and equipment to access these resources; Library as place: how satisfied are library users with the current library building as a place in which to study.

There were 22 questions in total. Respondents also had the opportunity to add in free text comments. We got 360 of these which gave very valuable information.

Survey Findings

The area that library users are most satisfied with is Affect of Service followed by Information Control. The Library as Place is of big concern to all users and this is bringing down our overall satisfaction among library users. Much of the dissatisfaction that was reported concerns overcrowding, noise, not enough group or single study space, not enough plugs for sockets, and an inefficient air conditioning system which makes the library either too hot or too cold. The good news is that November 2010 saw the commencement of construction of our new library extension. Due for completion in late summer 2012, the 6,200 sqm extension will create a total over 10,000 sqm of library space.

The new library will have a range of benefits including a 216% increase in seating capacity, a 130% increase in book capacity and a more than 280% increase in computer availability. Other exciting features include a range of study space types, a special collections facility, a dedicated postgraduate and researcher's room and a purpose built exhibitions area. Undergraduates would like to have greater access to photocopying, printing and computers Postgraduates are the least satisfied with the library overall. Their biggest issue is the lack of quiet space and also lack of access to print resources. Staff ( academic and other) are satisfied with the Affect of Service and dissatisfied with Information Control particularly access to print collections.

Freetext Comments The 360 freetext comments produced a wealth of very valuable information . Within the freetext comments the following areas are identified for improvement and we are currently working on them:

Library Building

As we saw in Library as Place the Library Building is not meeting library users’ needs. Overcrowding, noise, not enough sockets for plugs, not enough group study space, not enough single study space all came up repeatedly in the freetext comments. While the new library will address these concerns we still have two years to go and we are also mindful that many of our current students will not be here to enjoy the new library building. We are making every effort to make our current building appropriate for library users needs and will welcome all feedback and comments over the coming two years.

Opening Hours

Opening Hours also came up as something that users are unhappy with. More specifically the fact that Desk

Services begin at 9am and not earlier, the fact that we don’t have longer opening hours overall, that we close at 5pm on Saturdays and don’t open on Sundays is causing dissatisfaction.

Collections

The freetext comments highlighted certain areas of concern in relation to our book collections. Items that were raised include the frequency of missing books, books not catalogued or bought quickly enough, not enough of the right books and not enough recent books. gnilsiAsevolsugneA. Furthermore staff and students from the following areas mentioned that they were dissatisfied with their collections both in terms of content and amount of books available: Business/Law, English, Anthropology, Politics, Music, Theology, Biology,

Biotechnology, and Electronic Engineering. Other areas of concern include the slow turn around in the re-shelving of material and the culture of students “bagging” seats when they are not making use of them. Postgraduates are unhappy about the lack of dedicated space in which to use the collections. Notification about fines, reserved items having a five day collection period and also the lack of a “Returns “ box at the front of the building also came up frequently. The fact that the Self Service Machine on Level 2 only issues and doesn’t return was also mentioned.

Computers

In terms of Computer Facilities the library came in for criticism in relation to printing. Many students reported on the length

BREAKDOWN OF SURVEY PARTICIPANTS User Group

Respondent %

Undergraduate First year Second year Third Year Fourth Year Fifth Year and above Non Degree Sub Total

154 169 142 20 2 3 490

25.54% 28.03% 23.55% 3.32% 0.33% 0.50% 81.26%

Postgraduate Taught Masters degree Research Masters degree Doctoral Research degree Non-degree Undecided Sub total

26 1 24 12 1 64

4.31% 0.17% 3.98% 1.99% 0.17% 10.61%

Academic Staff Professor Reader Senior / Principal Lecturer Lecturer Research Staff Other Academic Status Sub Total

5 0 5 14 5 0 29

0.83% 0% 0.83% 2.32% 0.83% 0% 4.81%

Library Staff Professional Staff 2 0.33% Support Staff 3 0.50% Sub Total: 5 0.83%

2 3 5

0.33% 0.50% 0.83%

Staff Administrative/Academic Related Staff Other staff positions 4 Sub Total:

11 4 15

1.82% 0.66% 2.49%

Total:

603

100%

of time that they waited for queued print jobs and also that print jobs are not deleting immediately. Other areas raised include the popularity of the borrowing of laptops but the dissatisfaction with the battery lifetime. The fact that our PCs did not have Office 7 was also raised as was the cost of printing. Another issue raised was the wireless signal which some students reported as weak and caused slow internet access. Finally in this area students reported dissatisfaction with the amount of students who use Library PCs for non academic work i.e. to check emails or chat on facebook.

Affect of Service

While the Affect of Service i.e. engagement with library staff was the area that the Library rated highest in there is still room for improvement in this area. While staff and students gave library staff great praise some of our library users believe that there is room for improvement in this area. Issues raised include the need for a more helpful and courteous approach from some library staff and the need to ensure that all library staff deal with queries appropriately. Issues raised include lack of helpfulness and courtesy among library staff and also a lack of knowledge among staff to answer

Our Response Affect of Service

While this is the area that the Library scored best in we are determined to improve where possible. This will involve a review of current practice and policies mindful of the areas for improvement mentioned in the survey.

Opening Hours •

•

Plans for the new library extension include an area that can be open up to 24x7 We secured funding to open until midnight during exam periods in January and May Development of an online enquiry form

Library Building

The construction of the new library extension has started. During the building work we will continue to listen to your comments and respond wherever possible. We will update all our users on the progress of the new building and make every effort to minimise disruption during the construction process by updating you on our website, facebook and twitter. Meanwhile, some of the things you asked for that we are delivering are as follows: Hooks on the back of toilet doors – currently in progress With the support of the Student’s Union we will continue the policy introduced last year of monitoring noise in the building and implementing our warning and fining policy

Acknowledgement

We are grateful to all our library users who took part in this survey. We will continue to update you as we work on these findings. Meanwhile if you have any queries about the survey please contact Mary.Antonesa@nuim.ie

Collections

Currently, book purchasing responsibility is with the academic departments who advise the library on what to buy. In light of these findings we are reviewing how we can work with our academic colleagues on this matter. Other areas we are investigating include:

Computers

While our new library will address many of the issues raised in this area there are some problems we are happy to report we have solved. These include: • All print jobs are deleted now immediately after printing

•

Further promotion of our Subject Librarian services – please see p12 of this paper as an example of one aspect of this campaign

•

Heightening awareness of our print and electronic collections to further identify strengths and weaknesses in this area

•

MS Office 7 has now been installed on all Multimedia PCs

•

Meeting with 3M our Self Service Providers to examine if the Self Service Facility on Level Two can issue and return items

•

The purchase of a new laptop recharging unit

•

Review of the five day collection of Reserved items to see if this turnaround time could be shortened

•

Comprehensive deselection of collection in order to remove out of date material Plans are in place for a dedicated Postgraduate Space in the new Library Building

Working with the Computer Centre and the Student’s Union to identify a campus wide solution to printing

•

Preparatory work is now underway to replace our oldest Network Printer.

•

We Need Your Help

Many of the issues causing concern such as noise, “bagging seats” , missing and hidden books, use of PCs for non academic work are the actions of students and they are negatively influencing the student library experience. Behaving in a considerate manner will benefit us all

No Al Calcio Moderno is a common slogan to spot on football banners the world over. Translated, it's simple: No To Modern Football.

In A League Of Our Own: Why Do Irish Football Fans Ignore The League of Ireland? Of course, it's not a longing for the old orange footballs or for a return of suits and bowler hats on the terraces among fans, but rather a sense of discomfort with the general direction football has taken the world over in recent times. In Manchester, hundreds of Manchester United Football Club fans broke away from the corporate nature of that club to form F.C United of Manchester, a fan owned club. In Hamburg, F.C Sankt Pauli fans (a club known as the 'Pirates of the League' and associated with left-wing politics) have launched a 'Bring Back Sankt Pauli' campaign disgusted by the emergence of everything from official toasters to dog bowls launched by the club to cash in on their trendy appeal. All this is localised protest at the 'Calcio Moderno'. Of course English and German football fans live with the reality of a highly corporate league, leagues where Sky Sports and the like hold more weight than season ticket holders. With the outbreak of the 'Green and Gold' campaign at Manchester United last year however, something bizarre became apparent: Irish supporters of multi-billion euro clubs like Manchester United were up in arms about the corporatisation of 'their' club. People in Lucan, Donegal and Galway felt Malcolm Glazer was making a mockery of 'their' team.

The same relationship can be said to exist among Irish supporters club that exist for clubs as diverse as Celtic, Barcelona, Glasgow Rangers (no really, they've a Dublin Supporters Club) and everyone in between. Thousands who fly to Manchester and Liverpool on a weekly basis have never passed through the turnstiles of Richmond Park, Dalymount, Tallaght Stadium or the Showgrounds. Ireland is undoubtedly unique in a European context as a nation passionate and fixated with the national team, but dismissive of the local game. With regards the corporatisation of the game, Ireland is one of the lesser affected leagues where some clubs are indeed fan owned. At my own club, Paul McGrath, Kevin Doyle, Gordon Banks and Keith Fahey have all worn the jersey of Saint Patrick's Athletic, yet the club and indeed the league are consistently derided as "crap" by those who can discuss the offside rule and tactical formations at length but have never experienced a match here. Some who follow the Irish national team from Paris to New York insist their nearest League of Ireland club is too far from home to follow, or even to attend on an irregular basis. The argument that the standard of football here is "muck" doesn't hold up either, with Shamrock Rovers,Bohs and

Saint Patrick's all delivering solid performances in recent years at European level. I am always reminded of a bizarre night in Dublin when Saint Patrick's took on the Hoops (and I don't mean Rovers) and went down 2 nil, to a crowd of Dubliners who even cheered for a Scottish side who knocked out an Irish one from a competitive competition. It was tragic on one level, farcical on another. My club, and most clubs, have returned to parttime football out of financial necessity rather than desire. The money simply isn't there for anything else. Bohemians, one of the most historic clubs on the island, are in danger of becoming a historical footnote. This is the effect of people ignoring the League, people who claim to "love" football. This wasn't always the case. FAI Cup finals could bring tens of thousands to Dalymount Park, be it Waterford versus Saint Patrick's or anyone else int he 40s and 50s. It is undeniable the demise of the local game in Ireland is directly related to the rise of 'telly football'. Who really followed Manchester United in the 1970s? Why do I not know any Watford or Dundee fans? The rise of 'telly football' allowed Irish people to pick a winner, stick to it, and enjoy a cup victory once every few years. Like horse racing,

by Donal Fallon it became addictive. One drunken Irishman in a pub in a Manchester United shirt could tell one in a Liverpool shirt that "we" beat "you" today, and hooray for that. They will claim to love football, but if their parents claimed to love football they probably meant regular attendance rather than television viewership. The game can only grow here through more and more people engaging with it. If we are as soccer mad a people as we claim to be, it is time we embraced the game on our doorsteps. It is a welcoming League where people still stand, people know each other and unlike the game across the water geography dictates your team. While nobody bats an eyelid at a youngster from Inverness supporting Celtic or a Manchester United diehard from London, here Southsiders are barred from Dalymount and Inchicore is off-limits to Northsiders, all in jest of course. Nine times out of ten we end up in the same pub after a match. I'd like to say your local team will always be there, but maybe they won't. They need your support. I like to watch Sankt Pauli, Hibernian and the like in the pub granted but never at the expense of the saints. If you've ten euro in your pocket, go see a real football match this Friday, and forget the Calcio Moderno. It forgot you years ago.

To advertise in The Print, email ThePrint@ nuimsu.com

The Curse Of Spooning Aislinn Connell Spoon: (n) a cutlery utensil (Good for late-night cereal and annoying people by banging them against your knee) Spoon: (v) to lie on one’s side with one’s back to another’s chest (good for post-activity coziness, not good for non-dead arms) Who was it, I would like to know, that decided spooning was the post-sex position ‘de rigueur’? In what universe was it decided that trying to meld your body into your significant other’s right after some good times was the best way to do things? I dislike the spoon, for many reasons, not least that it’s considered weird if you do it wrong. If you’ve been doing it right, you should both be tired and to some degree sweaty and/or sticky.

How is it then a good idea to press yourself against another person who is also to some degree sweaty and/or sticky? This is a recipe for disaster! In the generally accepted version of things (that is to say, I checked urbandictionary), the woman lies in front of the man, who curls up to fit her body. That’s all well and good, you see, because your legs fit behind hers, and your arm goes over hers, and you press your chest to her back, and everything is fine and dandy… Until you realise that you have another arm and you don’t know what to do with it. So should you leave it flapping uselessly behind you? Put it under your side (it’ll go dead)? Move her and put it under her (also will go dead), or try that position most recommended by spooning enthusiasts, to put it under her neck? What if she has a fat neck? Then your arm will definitely go dead! What if her collarbones are sharp? It’ll dig into you and make your arm go dead! And if you’re the little spoon? It’s all fine and dandy until you realise that you’re trapped between the wall and your spooning buddy, and you’re getting a cramp in your leg, and you desperately need to move before your muscles start to atrophy. But it’s at this point that you realise your big spoon is asleep. Suddenly, what was a comforting presence behind you is now a dead weight, pressing

down on you and trapping you into a space which is entirely too small for comfort. The once-loving embrace of your boyfriend is now a prison, an inferno of warmth which is slowly starting to melt you into a puddle of nothingness. And you can’t move because his entire weight appears to have moved into the arm which is draped across your chest. When did he get so heavy? You’ll have to start starving him if he wants to keep doing this! You can’t deal with the pressure! And why is he breathing so heavily on your neck? Why is it so cold? God, can’t he make up his mind? Melting your arms and legs with his stupid body warmth, freezing your neck and head with his stupid cold breath… And why is his arm under your head? How big a gap does he think there is between neck and pillow? What, does he think that you’re a swan and you can just magically create a little enclave for his arm to rest in? I mean really! Who decided this was a good idea? This is all very well if you can deal with the discomfort of spooning, but how about actually getting to the part where you decide who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon? Big guy, small girl, you’d think it’d be obvious, but no, I’m the big spoon to my boyfriend (who’s 5’11), and I’m only 5’1. I’d argue, but all he does is roll me over, since

he’s also a good bit stronger. What happens if you have two guys or two girls? What if you have a guy and a girl but the girl is taller than the guy? What if you’re the EXACT SAME HEIGHT? What happens then? How about in the event of a pair of friends sharing a bed after a night out? Is spooning allowed? Is it encouraged? Who gets to be the big spoon then? What happens if a person is naturally warm and prone to over-heating? Should they be the big spoon? The small spoon? Should they not spoon at all? There are so many variables that the spooning enthusiast has to take into account! In any event, whatever arrangements you make whilst you’re awake and in control of your faculties, the spooning arrangements are really decided when you’re asleep and you start moving around. You’re very lucky if you wake up lying the same way as when you went to sleep. For me, no matter how many times I fall asleep being the little spoon, I wake up as the big spoon. And I’d blame the boyfriend, but it happens with friends as well. I think my subconscious reckons I’m bigger than I actually am. Or else it’s just spoon envy… But regardless of whether you’re an enthusiast or not, remember kids, spooning leads to forking, so always use a condiment!

Students Union SHOP

Arts Block

Photocopying Binding Laminating Second hand books Stationery NUIM branded goods â&#x20AC;&#x201C;

Hoodies, hats, scarves, bags etc Location: North side of Arts Block (pre-fab), entrance via Arts Block or opposite Biology building

Ní dhéanann Carlsberg Seachtain na Gaeilge ach dá ndéanfaidís ... Bhuel a chairde, seachtain den scoth a bhí againn gan dabht! Rinne muid sár-iarracht chun imeachtaí craiceáilte agus spéisiúl a chuir ar an bhfód le haghaidh Seachtain na Gaeilge 2011! An dualgas a bhí orainn chun an Ghaeilge a spreagadh tríd an choláiste! Chuirtear tús iontach le Seachtain na Gaeilge i mbliana le lá oscailte i Seomra na Gaeilge. Píosa ceol, píosa Gaeilge, píosa cóisiring. Caithfidh mé a adhmháil go raibh an chraic MIGHTY! Tháinig na mílte daoine isteach chun an banter a bheith acu (ábhéileach...muidne? ná habair é). An oíche sin bhí fáiltiú fíon againn, chun fonn damhsa a chuir ar gach aon duine don chéilí. Ah an céilí...Tháinig an t-Oifigeach Gaeilge don USI Aodhán Ó Dea síos chun bheith mar Fhear an Tí dúinn. Ar dtosach bhí an céilí soineanta go leoir ach ar nós gach imeacht eile a chuireann an Chuallacht ar siúl...d’eirigh sé DOIRTY!! Is féidir leat na griangraifeanna go léir a fheiceáil ar leathneach facebook na Cuallachta más mian libh; Parental Advisary Encouraged. An shift ab ea? Pshhh... Bheadh ‘An roide ab ea?’ níos cóngaraí!! Ar an Máirt bhímid le fheiceáil ag siúl thart timpeal na háite in ár T-léintí buí do Seachtain na Gaeilge, ag tabhairt amach sticéirí Ghaeilge do dhaoine agus bhí seomra na gaeilge plódaithe le daoine an lá ar fad. Bhí pancóga ar fáil ansin toisc Máirt na Pancóga a bhí i gceist, bhí an Wii ar siúl comh maith agus bhí an-chraic ag daoine á imirt.

Fuair duine airithe a thóin whoopáilte (*casacht* Shmick *casacht*) Ar an chéadaoin bhí soláistí ar fáil i seomra na gaeilge an lá ar fad. Lá na dtoghcháin a bhí ann chomh maith agus bhí muid ábailte cúpla stragglers a mhealladh isteach chuig seomra na gaeilge agus ticéid do Bál na Gaeilge a dhíol dóibh. Faaaaaaaan faaaaaaaaaaaan tá sé ag teacht... An imeacht ba mhó den seachtain ná Bál na Gaeilge ar an Déardaoin!! Gach duine suited up agus ar aghaidh leo chuig an Glenroyal! Thosaigh an oíche amach leis an fáiltiú fíon! Ar son na Gaeilge!!! Bhí ceol iontach le chloistáil ón Trad Soc agus i ndiadh an fíon tá meathchuimhne agam de bhanna cheol den scoth darbh ainm ‘Mo Hat Mo Gheansaí’ Cosúil leis an céilí níor fhan rudaí comh soineanta sin. Bhí duaiseanna le tabhairt amach againn ar an oíche....Comhghairdeas d’Aishling McGroary agus Steo a bhuaigh ‘Best dressed’ agus Treasa Ní Hanáin a bhuaigh ‘An shift is fearr’ le cibé bhuachaill a bhí aici ag an am agus don grúpa ina raibh Aindriú Ó Maoldomhnaigh a bhuaigh ‘An méid is mó daoine i shift amháin!’ I rith na seachtaine bhí craic iontach meisciúil againn le daoine tríd mhéain na Gaeilge, agus bhí ár ‘Sticker Ninja’ ar fud na háite...muna bhfuair tú sticéir ná bí buairthe...gheobhfaidh sí thú! Ná déan dearmaid is teanga gnéasach í an Gaeilge agus beatha teanga í a labhairt!! Mar a théann an seanfhocail ‘Sé leigheas na póite ól arís! An S.U. aon duine?? Cuallacht na Gaeilge

Seachtain na Gaeilge ab ea?

THE

Wednesday 30th March

THE

Opinion

Wednesday 30th March

How to fix the study of Irish

NUIM

Because, like, people who did pass know flip-all Aislinn Connell Student Writer Irish. Specifically, Leaving Certificate Irish. It’s a subject which has plagued generations of students, causing frustration, despair, bewilderment and confusion across the nation. I’m not going to lie, I’d be among the first to admit that it’s a tough subject, that the marks are hard to come by and it is almost universally loathed by students across the country. But to remove Irish from the compulsory Leaving Certificate subjects is, I think, a mistake. Irish is, to get a little patriotic about it, our language. It is uniquely, intrinsically, inevitably linked with our culture, our heritage and our lives. It’s a subject which is unlike any other that you can do in school – it offers you both a linguistic advantage and an insight into the history of our country. Okay, patriotic section over. It is widely acknowledged that Irish as a compulsory subject for the Leaving Certificate isn’t the most successful thing ever. I’d be one of the first to admit that. It succeeds in turning a lot of people off the idea of continuing with Irish, of using it at all, which is a pity, because it’s a nice language, and a good skill to have. So here’s my take on it: Irish at Honours Leaving Certificate is tough. No-one could really say it isn’t. You’re expected to have the same standard of Irish as of English – or almost the same standard. They both consist of two papers, one with two comprehensions and an essay, and a second paper with studied poems and prose. While there’s slightly more on the English paper, it’s not exactly far off. And there would be very few Leaving Certificate students every year would have the same proficiency in Irish that they do in English. But there are manifold problems. It’s no secret that the system, as it stands, is broken. There are instances all over the country of students being given entire essays and told to learn them off, word for word, because the course is too broad to begin to form your own essays. But the problem doesn’t lie merely at Leaving Certificate level. Students enter secondary school at the age of roughly 12,

JH2, Female, Redhead Tanned girl with short kind of red hair sitting at the back of the SO205 lecture today. You are an absolute babe. You single? Rye Hall PACR: Female, Brunette Wearing glasses and white tshirt with black writing on it. You’re pretty. NUIM John Hume: Female, Blonde Boyish hair cut and the endless supply of granny jumper you always look so pouty when your alone but when you smile it lights up the room and my day... Riordan 2: Male, Black hair Was having a great time with you in your friends bedroom it was such a shame we where interupted and you didnt follow me back to river Village Apartments: Female, Brunette Beautiful girl walks around village in a rush all the time, funny laugh on her... you are HOT wish I knew who you were

Cullacht na Gaelige prostest outsite Leinster House with what should be 8 years of Irish education behind them. They should already be able to speak Irish. But they can’t. And so secondary school teachers are faced with the task of teaching students the basics of a language when they should be teaching them how to begin appreciating the culture and literature of the language. No student should be able to enter an Irish class nine years after the rest of the students and reach the same standard as them within nine months. Not without some sort of help, grinds, tuition or similar. And yet it can be done. I did it. And therein lies an essential flaw of the whole Irish language system. The problem starts in the primary schools – students don’t learn what they need to learn in order to be able to complete the Junior and Leaving Certificate courses. Although reform at primary school level is necessary, reform at secondary, and especially leaving certificate, would probably make sense as well. Even with a solid background of Irish basics in primary school, the

Leaving Certificate course could well be considered too broad for a second language. So make the course smaller. My suggestion would be to create two Irish subjects at leaving certificate. One would be Irish language, and would be compulsory. This would comprise, in essence, a modern language course, so that one’s proficiency in Irish after having done this course would be the same as one’s proficiency in, say, French, German or Spanish, or whatever other language you may have learned. While it probably won’t satisfy everyone, the fact of the matter is, most people don’t have the level of Irish required to discuss poetry, prose or even topical problems to the extent which is currently required at Leaving Certificate. A modern language course, focused on conversational skills and useful Irish, rather than being able to discuss the role of pathetic fallacy, will do a lot to eradicate the ingrained hatred a lot of people still hold close to their hearts, especially when it comes to Peig.

The second Irish subject then would be designed for people who are skilled at languages, those who went to a Gaelscoil, those who have a decent understanding of Irish and those who actually want to study Irish culture. This module would contain the skeleton structure of paper II in the Leaving Certificate, that is to say the poems, the stories, the play, the Irish history is rudaí eile. These students would then be able to construct their own essays and form their own opinions, which would lead to the eradication, hopefully, of the rote learning system which is Leaving Cert. Irish at the moment. Because hey, let’s face it, learning off an entire essay for every topic you can think of isn’t a good way to go about things – it’s not going to teach you anything other than the fact that your memory isn’t as good as you thought it was and you forgot a word so now instead of saying someone was angry, you just said that they were red. Great. Irish is a great language. It’s hugely interesting in that it’s

a Celtic language – having an understanding of Irish provides you with a window into other languages such as Scots Gallic, Manx, Breton, Cornish, Welsh and more. Having another language makes it easier to learn a third language and looks good on your CV to boot. At the moment, we’re in the midst of an Irish revival – two years ago the Nua-Ghaeilge first year class was nearly 200 people – more than French and Spanish combined! Removing Irish as a compulsory subject at this critical point, just when it’s about to really take off, would be a huge mistake. Yes, it’s a flawed system. Yes, it’s in need of reform. Yes, the problem lies beyond just the Leaving Certificate, but no, getting rid of Irish as a compulsory subject is not the answer. The answer lies somewhere between abolishing it and leaving it to stagnate the way it is. The key is finding the happy medium to allow the language to flourish and enjoy the revival it deserves.

ASK

Dear Granny, I picked a durt-burd outside Maximus and had a bit of a ride, and it was grand. But the next day she was all over me, and now she says she wants to meet my mammy. I can’t bring a burd like that home, because she doesn’t have a scrap of land to her name, and wouldn’t know the backend of a cow from the front. What should I do? Farmer Joe Dear Joe, I’m afraid this is partially your own fault. If you don’t have standards on a night out, you shouldn’t go out at all. Firstly, I recommend you get yourself checked at your local doctor, or make a trip to St. James’ clinic. Secondly, you’ll have to set this girl straight. It’s not fair to her, and it certainly won’t be fair to your mammy when she turns up unannounced at the front

door with a baby on the way. Sort your life out, and I’m sure you’ll meet some lovely girl at the Science Ball in April. Good luck! Dear Granny, My boyfriend keeps asking me to ride him in a tractor. I was into it at first, but having at load of cows watching really isn’t working for me, although the engine does make it a lot more fun. Help! Mary of Dunloe Dear Mary, If you can’t take a cow watching you at those kind of moments, how are you going to cope with a field full of them, when your giving your husband the children he deserves? Cows are an essential part of life, that you’ll just have to live with it. Otherwise, buy yourself some sheep. You’re on to a good thing with a man with his own

Granny

tractor- don’t let him go over something so small! Dear Granny, I was in my room, basting my meat, when my mom walked in. She told me if I keep doing that, the baby Jesus will cry. What should I do? Andy

Dear Andy, Your mother is right. You should let the basting to the women, and not try to do it yourself. Straighten yourself up man, and get yourself a ticket to The Gathering. There’s plenty of women out there who can do a much better job with your meat than you can. Dear Granny, I was watching that show, Vincent Browne on the telly, and it got me thinking about politics. Me da always said, that giving the women voting

rights was a bad idea, but I’d like to give it a shot myself. What do you think Granny? Breda

Dear Breda, You may not know this about me, but back in the day, I was quite the suffragette! I think it’s disgraceful that you haven’t voted already- sure I started voting when I was 16! While your father does have his reasons for his opinion, he’s just a man, and doesn’t necessarily know what’s good for him. Luckily, he has you to look after him, and make sure he’s on the right path. If you want to vote, I strongly suggest that you start by voting in the byelection for the Students’ Union next month, but remember, burning your bra on campus will only pollute the air. *Granny

2nd Year Music: Female, Brunette U dont normally go to class but when u do I cant help but watch u, amazing big brown eyes and always doodling... Heritage House: Male, Black hair 3rd year Psychology, we call him the babe of Psychology. I think he’s called Loughlin, teehee. Iontas: Female, Brunette Third year English, you are a babe. 2nd Year Law Class: Female, Brunette You trundle in late with your oversized briefcase....is this where you keep my heart? Your name begins with M and ends with A. You always have the most amazing, never ending sentences of facts. Please share your heart and your facts with me... Mullin 2: Male, Brunette Guy looks like james blunt, serious ride Couch, 35 meadowbrook crescent: Male, Brunette Drinkin’ tuborg watching a movie, nice swagger My sitting room: Female, Brunette To the girl with the fringe, looks just like Mishca, you make my day whenever i see you. CoffeeDock: Male, Redhead I love gingers like you...x NUI Maynooth: Male, Brunette Met a beautiful guy in a grey sweater the other night, name was Naoise. Never caught his second name or phone number, serious The regret... number of mature applicants competing for a placeMaynooth: NUI in collegeFemale, has dropped dramatically, new figures show. Blonde Navy The see-through trend inshirt growth and red of mature skirt, hugging applicants the penguins... over the last few years pretty even had with been the expected huge to continue. :) hangover! Original government targets of a 17-20pc Reading Room:mature Female,student intake can now not be met. Brunette Thisare You year’s at the intake tableisacross likely to be closerme from to 13pc. reading a book. You’re gorgeous. It was Think the close I caught of the you initial deadlineatfor looking me CAO aswellapplications that revealed that the number of people Arts Block: seeking Female, college Redhead places this year Lovely red are hair, level satwith just last staring year about at yourabout phone, 72K. wish you’d look over... This number is the aggregate of around 46,000 current

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Wednesday 30th March

THE

Opinion & Comment

Wednesday 30th March

Cinema bad, Alan Coyne good Alan Coyne For God’s sake let me just live my life without forcing consumerism down my throat! As a student with a fairly standard studentesque budget I rarely get the pleasure of attending the cinema as I usually try and save my money to go out on debaucherous and meaningless nights out, but that’s beside the point. The point is that last week I indulged myself by going on a night out to the “pictures” as my old fashioned mother would so humbly have put it, and I was blown away by how many ads there is before the movie, now I’m not talking about the movie trailers we all joyfully sit through and point out afterwards that they’re our “favourite bit” but the actual television style ads that are thrown up on the silver screen before the trailers have even considered showing up. I have always been intrigued by how long it takes for a movie to actually start after the reported and advertised start time and I noted there was fifteen minutes of advertisements before the trailers even started.

This year’s Donegal St. Patrick’s Day Parade: Still better than the cinema Fifteen minutes?! Now I’m not being a bitter young man ranting at anything that remotely disagrees with my point of view (although I have been accused of being such a creature), no I just don’t see it right that they can charge us up to and even over ten euro a ticket to a feature and then make us sit through fifteen minutes of uninteresting and unintelligent crap we could have stayed at

home to watch. Of course the more diligent of you are thinking “stop being such a moany cret and just turn up ten minutes late and you’ll miss all the ads you sexy sexy bastard” but as I have found out, if you want to see a new blockbuster movie at a peak time then you cannot just turn up around the start time and breeze on through to the sweet seats at the back.

Oh no not at all at all! You’ll be lucky to get a single seat near the front or to the far left or right (and if you’re bringing your new love interest for a nice evening at the flicks then you’re never going to cop a cuddle if you can’t even see your sweetheart from across the room and you’re stuck watching Adam

Sandler fart his way through yet another Hollywood cash in). Alas, even if you bear through sitting by yourself, hurting your neck as you stare up by yourself at the screen ten inches away from your face you still have to be a buffoon to miss the endless product placement in all the big

movies of recent years. Tom Hanks, even when stranded on a desert island still has the FedEx (note: FedEx just came up on spell check on Microsoft word, thank you Mr Multinational!) logo branded all over his tiny existence and it would seem everybody in Hollywood drinks Budweiser all of the time when they aren’t chugging cans of CocaCola obviously! Is it not just mass consumerism gone mad where we live in a world where even after we have paid to see a form of entertainment we still have to be squeezed for every cent we have once we’re settled in and an easy target for the corporations to get their evil robotic cyborg claws on us in the form of petty advertising! Of course you may think “Alan, you handsome devil why don’t you just sit through the ads and get on with your life?” well I personally believe that time is the most valuable thing we have and once it’s gone…it is gone! So excuse me fair reader if I don’t want to spend my money to have that time taken away from me watching the guy from that movie I saw on RTE that one time trying to advertise broadband, or car insurance or whatever else the men from upstairs want to sell us to make our lives better. Just let me watch Big Mommas House Three in peace, or have they made the fourth yet?

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Report

Wednesday 30th March

Maynooth Students' Union

President’s Report Aengus Ó Maoláin Since the last report, the third quarter of the year has drawn to a close. We’ve had the elections and a new constitution has come into force. The Cumann Peile came so close to getting to the Sigerson final yet again and we’re all getting geared up for the Clubs and Societies Ball. Nationally, MSU sent an extremely strong delegation to USI Congress 2011 and we’re gearing ourselves up for our first confrontations with the newly elected government. Firstly I would like to congratulate our newly elected executive for next year: Maura Garrihy (Theology Rep), Alan Coyne (Ents), Ruaidhrí Boland (Finance), Deirdre Ní Dhubhthaigh (Gaeilge), Keith Broni (VP Services, Events and Communications), Fiach O’Neill (VP Welfare & Equality) and someone we all know quite well, Rob Munnelly (President). I can assure all of the successful candidates that they have no idea what they’re getting themselves into, but I wish them all the very best of luck. I’ll always be on the other end of a telephone if you get lost! For all the challenges we faced this year, next year will be one hundred times worse, and I sincerely hope you give the new exec all the support you have given me. Hold them to their word and if their manifesto promises happen, we’ll all be grateful for their dedication, diligence and hard work. I also urge all those who were unsuccessful to keep their heads up. Strength is built through adversity, and as someone who has lost an election or two in my time let me assure that the ability to take defeat with dignity and get back to work is much more respected than winning and failing to deliver on your promises. Hold you erstwhile opponents to account next year, or if you will have left Maynooth, it’s probably for the best. Student Politics is not meant for life! While the election was all very exciting and the victory parties all the more so, a small but significant piece of orange paper was among the bundle you all received while voting. A whopping 79% of you voted ‘Yes’ the constitution we have all been killing ourselves working on since July. The constitution is a dramatic improvement on the previous one and among other things it means we will have even more elections! The election to fill the newly created vacancy for VP Clubs, Societies and Union Development will be taking place on the 13th of April. The successful candidate has the rare chance to define a role and re-imagine the way clubs, societies and the union in general are promoted, developed and supported. I, for one, am really looking forward to another election in

which I will have no involvement ;-) USI’s annual congress is an overwhelming and impressive sight to behold. 200 student leaders from all over the country gathered for four days just up the road in Dunboyne, Co. Meath to discuss the future of the country in general and the national student movement in particular. As this is MSU’s first year as a full member of USI in just over ten years, we sent a full strength cadre of 12 who excelled themselves one and all at representing every one of you. Not least that but all six of MSU’s motions were successfully passed by congress including a few controversial ones on Mathematics Bonus Points (we’re opposed) and the National Minimum Wage (we’re in favour). Within 36 hours of congress closing one of our less contentious motions on the retention and reform of the National University of Ireland was declared formal governmental policy by the new minister for Education, Ruairí Quinn. While I doubt that every one of the 60 motions passed by Congress will be so immediately successful, it was nice for the first positive of the debate to have emerged from an MSU motion. On that point, the general election of the 25th of February was epoch-making in two significant ways. Firstly a huge proportion of younger people voted – something in the region of 80%. This simple fact will give us a much bigger stick with which to beat the government in future campaigns. I am blue in the face telling people the reason we’re not taken as seriously as other sectoral groups is because under-30s tend not to vote and demonstrate a studied apathy in all facets of modern political life. This is no longer the case. Secondly we have now got a coalition government with a vast majority in the Dáil. One of the easiest ways to get the old FF / Green coalition to do something was to swing a few independents away from the party line as the government was constantly on the brink of collapse. The number required to threaten the new FG / Labour coalition is so vast as to make it irrelevant. Our new tools must be logic and reason. In order to convince the new coalition to take student issues seriously we will need to be calculated in our deliberations and fierce in our protests. It may well be the case that there will be an emergency budget before my term of office expires at the end of June, and in that case we may well all be piling onto buses in matching t-shirts yet again. My only hope is that such a protest is prepared slightly better than the last. That’s my report for now. Do remember I’m still here until the 30th of June so if you need anything at all drop me a line on president@nuimsu. com Much Love, Aengus Your Union President

VP Comms & Dev Rob Munnelly Let’s do this. First, a hearty congratulations to Keith Broni for winning the election for VP Comms and Dev sabbatical position, a title he held for all of four hours before the new Constitution came into effect and made him VPSEC-elect. Still, I have complete in the man who’s sat behind the VP Comms & Dev for two years in a row and put his all into helping produce The Print, make posters for clubs and socs and really gotten involved in making the Union better. Keith, well done. I fully believe that the paper is in good hands. And if something goes wrong I’m only two doors down to help / berate you. The Print Two years ago The Spoke (as it was called) was about 4-6K words long, and most of it was written by the editor. Last year, The Print was about 6-8K words long, and about half was written by the VP Comms. This year The Print is a whopping 55K+ words long over 32 beautiful full size pages. It’s the best paper we’ve ever had and I am exceptionally proud of the team that made it happen. They don’t know it yet (because nobody ever, ever reads the VP Comms & Dev officer report) but I’m taking them all out to dinner at the end of the year. Nuimsu.com This has been a black hole of a problem. The SU hasn’t had a decent site in years - since 2006, in fact. Upon assuming office last July, I spent some time trying to figure out why, and how to get the website we deserve but have learned not to expect. First, it turns out that the SU can’t update the website from anywhere on campus due to campus

internet security protocol. And because the SU isn’t quite staff, but also not fully students, we had to find a happy medium with the Computer Centre that lets us run a website. And now for some reason everything I print comes out in a printer in the Medical Centre (nobody can figure out why.) Second, our hosting package was way, way out of date. It didn’t do half of the stuff we needed it to do, and didn’t offer nearly as much space. So we had to migrate everything over to a new hosting package. Third, our current hosting package nearly expired without anyone noticing, and there was no method set up to automatically renew it, so I had to fork out half a week’s wages at the last minute to buy nuimsu.com and the webspace. So now all club, society and administration emails of the Union - pretty much the Union’s entire online presence - is on my property. So don’t anger me. This is more power than any one man should have. On the plus side now we can actually have a decent site, so expect something soon. We’ve already set up market.nuimsu.com as promised in last year’s manifesto, and are now working on the full thing. Also, we’ll be migrating to MSU.com. Market.nuimsu.com MSU recently launched an online forum NUIM students to advertise (or ask for) books, laptops, grinds and accommodation. This solves a few problems at once. Most importantly, it creates a one-stop-shop for anyone looking for or offering for sale one of these items. This means that students won’t need to put up posters, messages on Facebook or posts on Boards.ie to sell on their books (etc.) This makes it much, much easier for everyone involved. Second, it also frees up a tonne of space on noticeboards around campus. To date, if a student was selling a book or offering a room they had to

print off dozens of A4 ads (typically) and post them all over the Arts Block and JH noticeboards. This was a pain in that a) the ad was lost in the mess, b) it was a lot of work for a simple problem, c) most ads just got ripped down when the noticeboards got full, d) there was less room for club or society announcements, e) if a student was looking to buy something second-hand, they had to roam around North Campus and trawl through the notice boards looking for the item. This new project, as well as creating a central space for trading amongst students, makes noticeboards available for more club and society related activities. Market.nuimsu.com is super easy to use. We deliberately chose the forum style so that even a total computer novice can figure it out. If anyone has trouble, they can view the video tutorial on YouTube. First, it’s available only to NUIM students. You need an @nuim.ie address to register with the site before you can post on it. This is also a great security measure - we know exactly who is (say) offering accommodation, so no hidden identities / weirdo stalkers. Second, it’s really easy to figure out. It does a small number of things well. If you post in the wrong place (for example, you post an ad for a book in the ‘Laptops’ section) it’s two simple steps to move your post to the correct area. Third, it has a search function so you can just search for the title of the book (or whatever) you’re looking for instead of browsing. This is a million times easier than wandering like a nomad around Arts and John Hume. Fourth, like Facebook, you can send private messages to people. You can also add people to these conversations if three-ways are your thing. Fifth, it has a Facebook-like ‘Wall’ where you can see all recent activity. Sixth, we have a three-strike rule: break the rules twice and you’ll be permanently banned the third time. So don’t take the mickey. Seventh, you can customise your own profile with a profile picture, etc. This pre-supposes the forum taking off and Club and Soc functionality being built in in the future. We’ll see how it goes. Eight, you can give yourself a nickname - ‘Eoin’ is a lot more personable the EOIN.QUINN2013@ NUIM.IE. In time, we hope to replace the noticeboards completely as a means of advertising. (And now I can tick off another twenty percent of my manifesto.) Posters Had a quick count before the election and it turns out that the Communications Office, between myself and assistant editor Keith Broni, has produced 72 poster this year. To put that in perspective, that’s more than 1000% the number of posters produced from the same office (under different stewardship) last year! Come on, that’s pretty decent. Despite the level of professional design in this year’s posters however, everyone’s favorite is still the one that Clubs Officer Kyle O’ Regan did for the Clubs and Socs Council that took place last 10th February - it’s the mostly blue one done in Microsoft Paint. Even I love it. It’s my desktop background here in the office. Clubs and Socs Awards By the time this issue gets shoved in your face in the Common Room during distribution today, I (but not you) will know the winners of this year’s annual Clubs & Socs Awards. There’s a big do in the Glenroyal hotel with a meal, drinks and an awards ceremony to celebrate the whole thing. Neat dress essential. Tickets for the full shebang are 35 quid, with the afters drinks costing just a tenner. Election A big thanks to everyone who wore a tshirt, handed out fliers and voted in this year’s MSU elections. And though I can’t wait to begin work as MSU President in July with the great new team, there’s still a lot left to do as VP Comms & Dev, so that’s what I’m focusing on until then. President@nuimsu.com still goes to Aengus, not me, so please direct all queries and problems that normall require the attention of the President to him. Charity week In short, I’m yours for a week. To raise money. I’ve agreed to do anything but get naked. I’m being auctioned off by Cullacht na Gaelige for cash. I’ve already agreed to come to work in drag, dress like a clown at a fancy restaraunt, eat dozens of raw eggs, be dunked, paddled and water-tortured anything that raises some money for MS Ireland. Seriously, if you have the cash I’ll do just about anything for charity. So get your thinking caps on. Be creative.

Get involved

Postgrad Rep Robert Dixon Hello students of NUI Maynooth. My name is Robert Dixon and I'll be your student’s union Postgraduate representative for the remainder of the year. Which means I'll be the voice of the postgrads of the college to the union as well as college councils. Naturally the key to speaking for the postgrads is to be aware of postgrad issues, and my office hours will be from 9am to 11am on Friday in the student’s union offices. So you can stride or stumble (it’s no coincidence they're set the morning after Thursday) into my office then and give me a right talking to about how bad a job I’m doing and what you'd do better (also known as constructive feedback). Plus you have the added advantage that if you don't like any of my counter-points, and you've been out the night before, you can just get sick on my desk (and as we all know puking = automatic argument win). My ability to schedule ridiculous office hours won't completely save me though - you can always vent your anger via the internet (and everyone’s angrier on that) by contacting me at postgrad@ nuim.com. Postgrads can feel a myriad of specific problems. Constantly reporting to one particular person and the fact that (most) don't have lectures to attend can lead to a perception of not getting work done which can naturally lead to higher stress levels. It must be known that fantastic facilities exist within the college for any student, undergrad or postgrad, who wants to discuss their workload or personal life. In the current economic climate (you knew it had to be mentioned somewhere) funding for postgraduate positions has taken a hit, not least the dwindling number of IRCSET and IRCHESS being awarded each year. This issue has been noticed by the college and hopefully action can be taken before next academic year. I encourage any postgrad who's worried about funding to talk to someone who can help, whether that be myself, others in the union or faculty members themselves. Although I am your postgraduate representative I am by no means a one stop shop, so feel free to bypass me in favour of another students union officer (if you believe their position relates more to your query naturally), this is the entire student’s union after all. Conversely if any students have a query relating to student life as a postgrad or any other related postgrad questions you should definitely get in contact with me. If I can't answer your question I’ll most certainly strive to find someone who can. The remainder of the year will naturally be my busiest and I am prepared for this situation, as deadlines for various postgraduate courses approach as well as the funding deadline (IRCSET is Feb 16th people and IRCHSS is Feb 21st!) feel free to come and ask me any questions you might have. We postgrads are a helpful bunch and I’m sure if you wanted to know more about a postgraduate course in a particular department I can find someone who would gladly talk to you for hours on working in that department or bore you for hours about their particular research topic. I have a fair few projects I’ll be working on for the rest of the year and I’ll be keeping you updated on them here (always willing to hear more ideas though). Until then I look forward to representing you on the students union to the best of my ability. So until next time! Robert Dixon

Societies Officer Sinead Mawe We are currently in that strange in-between place at the moment when it comes to societies. On one hand, we are in the final stretch of the second semester, with award nominees nominated and their names engraved in the trophies, ready to be handed out. On the other hand, these few weeks are as busy as they come. Events that have been in the planning stages for the last few months are finally blossoming into life, and the improvement in the weather (let’s hope it lasts!) means more opportunities to hold events. That means while there may be less events going on, those that are going ahead are on a much bigger scale. Speaking of large scale events, Playdo held their annual Castle Fair since I last rambled on at you. The event, which was originally planned for December and postponed due to the snow, took place on the grounds of Maynooth Castle with the aid of Tradsoc, Amnesty and Juggling soc (and a candy floss machine!). It was fun, pure and simple and I’m fairly sure I enjoyed it just as much as the kids from the local schools who came along- I even won a goodie bag! Right, so that’s me running out of space. Hope to see some of at the Clubs and Socs’ Awards!

theprint@nuimsu.com

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teh Tech

Wednesday 30th March

Radiation dangers explained A Useful Guide

by Randall Monroe

xkcd.com

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Kids’ Corner

Wednesday 30th March

Sudoku Easy

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Evil

by Grace Crehan Pisces 19 February - 20 March People say you make your own luck, but carrying around a sign that says “I’m needy and helpless” is probably not what they had in mind. The thought of you losing your mind is making you lose your mind. If you ever get out of that hole, the chances are that you’re still going to be a neurotic plague of badness

Aries

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21 March - 19 April Smiles help the world go round, especially when the smiles are accompanied by dirty big wads of cash. Cold hard cash. In fact, forget the smiles, just give everyone money. The rate of absorption into your skin will increase three fold today as Mars combined with Jupiter to create... well, whatever is created to allow for that. I suppose. When asked if you’re OK today, you may feel tempted to respond with physical violence.

Scorpio 24 October - 21 November Your mind is filled with thoughts of sexual inadequacy and hey, maybe you’re right. By agreeing to read this horoscope you may be bringing on yourself several levels of suffering and/ or pleasure. If you agree to this, please stop reading now. Or carry on, depending on whether you’re willing to take that chance

Taurus

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20 April - 20 May Other people are not as crazy as you make them out to be. Gambling is something that may get the better of you, shortly. Remember, gambling doesn’t always mean forfeiting money but can also take the form of running an amber light, crossing the road when it appears to be safe, and not having medical insurance. These 3 “gambles” may occur to you, and others around you, simultaneously

Cancer

22 June - 22 July You are not anyone’s “bitch”. Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without pissing ourselves in the night.

Libra

Wall of Sudoku Because everyone’s laden down with assignments, we had a bit of extra space this issue. Se here’s a wall of Sudoku.

23 September - 23 October You’re generally hopeless with money, so this week should come as a shock to you. I sense a feeling of delight in you. When things are looking down, sit yourself down on the nearest swivelling chair and spin. If that doesn’t raise a smile, then I’m all out of ideas.

Aquarius 20 January - 18 February When trying to take the top of a bottle of paracetamol, you may find yourself contemplating destroying the universe. Lots of different shades of grey help you know that metal objects are 3 dimensional.

Capricorn 22 December - 19 January When there’s work to be done, there’s no shame in procrastination. If you’re missing an element to your life, why not choose tin? Gloomy times lay ahead

Leo

23 July - 22 August Don’t believe anything you read today. Be wary of emails claiming to be from PayPal or eBay - they are almost certainly your “most like a junky” friends trying to get a rise out of you. In fact, they’re probably watching you from a webcam placed somewhere around the room you’re currently in. We’re 99% sure that’s where these scam emails come from - people YOU know. After a car crash you will see a light at the end of a tunnel. Do not be vexed, this only means the car is facing the other way.

Virgo

23 August - 22 September Cysts are a sign of overworking as much as anything else. Relax today whilst a loved one lances your soppiest boils. There may be trouble ahead...but while there’s moonlight and music and love and romance, the blow caused by the venereal disease you are about to become infected with, will be somewhat softened. You are not the person you once were, try to reflect those changes in your general appearance and, please, smile for a change.

Sagittarius 22 November - 21 December In other countries, how you’ll feel about this afternoon could get you arrested and shot... at dawn, without a blindfold, and with a stinging sensation in the groin. Parrots can be annoying as well as beautifully coloured. Rawwr! Parrots can be annoying as well as beautifully coloured. Rawwr! Rawwr! Parrots can be annoying as well as beautifully coloured. Rawwr!

Gemini

21 May - 21 June If you’re ignorant are you blessed? Only with ignorance, my stupid friend. Go with the ﬂow and let people take advantage of you.

xkcd.com

Doodle Space

THE

Culture

Wednesday 30th March

Interview: Example

Keith Broni chats with the latest and greatest to grace The Venue

On Thursday the 17th of February, the Venue stage in the Students’ Union building was graced with one of the biggest acts Maynooth has even hosted a performance of: the upcoming UK, rapper Example. Touring on the back of the great success of his second album, ‘Won’t Go Quietly’, Example performed a DJ-aided set to a sold-out crowd. Before the performance, Example spoke with Keith Broni about how he ended up rapping through his involvement in Star Wars, the melding of musical genres and differences between British and America rap music. Although you’re still touring your second album, ‘Won’t Go Quietly’, you’re working on your third album. Have you decided what it’s going to be called yet? “I know what it’s going to be called, but I can’t reveal it yet. No offence or anything, but I should probably save it for the Guardian or something!” You’ve said in previous interviews that you’ve going to delving deeper into the dubstep genre and away from hiphop. Is this true? “Yeah, man. There’s gonna be three of four dupsteps songs on the album, three or four house songs and maybe a bit of drum and bass. It’s all guitar and piano based. Overall, this album’s a lot darker; a lot more grown up, more global and a lot more epic, I feel.” You’ve been rapping form an easy age, originally starting out during house parties in your local area. “Yeah, I used to rap around house parties when I was like 12 or 13. There was a lot of reggae and dance and towards the end of the night they’d used to play a bit of hip-hop and I used to love getting up and grabbing the mic. There’d only be like fifty people in the room but… They weren’t really MC battles; more just expressing yourself on the microphone, if that makes sense.” Did you sneak into those parties, what being so young, or was it kind of novelty for those hosting the party to have someone so young performing? “Nawh, it was just the area I grew up in, man. It was my

mate’s house, ya’know. People I used to grow up with and go skateboarding or play football with or whatever.” Just before you started rapping at his parties, you won the Royal Mail’s Poet of the Year competition. “I need to get that off my Wikipedia page! People ask me about that in every interview, even though it’s probably the most boring thing ever. I mean, I was interested in poetry when I was younger, but it’s not like I sat there studying Rudjard Kipling or anything. I just liked rhyming words; I always found, I suppose, excitement or interest in rhyming of words and the pattern of words and the percussiveness of speech, which is why I got into rap.” And although you ended up studying film in university, you still ended up with a music career. Was this the goal all along, or did you consider film a legtimate career path for a while? “The first real steps towards my rap career kinda happened by accident. I wanted to be a film director and actor; I wanted to be an actor when I was about fourteen or fifteen. I used to be in a lot of theatre productions. And then I lost my voice when my voice broke and I couldn’t sing, and I wasn’t very confident with singing after that but I still used to write rap verses all the time. I used to MC at Garage Music when I was about eighteen and then it just kinda when a bit wild, I suppose. I started releasing raps songs and everyone got into it. But I was studying for film at university, and when I graduated from university I went to Australia for a year ‘coz I just wanted to get away from all my mates at the time. They were all bums, like; they weren’t doing anything. All unemployed and just interested in smoking weed every day. And none of them wanted to get a proper job. So I went to Australia to escape it, and whist I was in Australia I was working on Star Wars Episode III, making props like lightsaber and that. Why Australia? “I just wanted to get away from England. But I wasn’t

mad on travelling. You know how some people are given five grand off their parents and then go off travelling to wherever; I didn’t want that. I went to get work, ya’know; proper life experience. But actually off the back of being in Australia of that I ended up recording some demos in Sydney using a proper recording studio. A friend of mine needed an original piece of music for a thing he was filming and I said I’d got a few things kicking about he could use. And people in studio were like ‘Ya’know mate, this is actually really good. You should probably get into this when you get back home.’ And then when I got back to the UK I started playing the demos to people and they really got into them. And when was that? “That was in 2003. So it’s taken eight years to get to where I am now; from someone liking one of my demos and me releasing it on viynal and slowly getting radio play. I mean, people like Zane Lowe have been playing my music for nearly six years.” It was getting signed to The Beats, the label owned by Mike Skinner of The Street, that really got things started for you. “Well actually the reason the Beats signed me was because it was picking up for me already. I’d already released ‘All The Chats’ and ‘I Don’t Want To’ at that stage, and don’t that pisstake of that Lily Allen song.” That’d be ‘Vile’, a great tongue-in-cheek response to Lily’s original ‘Smile’. I’m a big fan of it, personally. “Really? I dunno, when you think about it it’s just a parody of a song... It’s kind of cheap in what it actually is. Even if you think it’s clever, it’s like… Pretty shit compared to what I’m doing now. For me, anyway. I mean, these days I write everything myself; the lyrics, the melodies, the raps. I come up with the concept and help the guys produce it, whereas back then I was just stealing people’s beats and reworking the lyrics and inserting the music, which… both of them take some form of talent, I suppose, but I much prefer what I’m doing now to ripping

Nuclear Boy

The XY Factor

Ken Robinson’s TED Talk

Zenga Zenga AutoTune

The land that gave us the white albino elephant and the Siamese cat (no, really) has delivered unto us another freak of nature: this genderambiguous diva. The video’s full title is “Thailand’s Got Talent Women or Man” (heh) and has to been heard to be believed. Our diva sings the same initial verse twice - but 3 octaves lower the second time. Recommended. If you can watch this and not sit bolt upright at 1:04 we owe you a soto.

This is one of those videos that anyone who’s seen agrees that it is one of the most inspiring talks they’ve ever witnessed. Over 20 minutes, Ken gives a talk entitled ‘Do Schools Kill Creativity’, and argues that creativity should be given as much time in school as maths or languages. Also, jokes. Possibly the most quote-able thing after The Simpsons.

In the United States, autotune has met politics plenty of times -- see: State of the Union and Rent Is Too Damn High -- but now the phenomenon has spread to the Middle East where a video from Israel of Libyan leader Muammar el-Qaddafi has been drawing lots of attention. Both the original and an edit without the dancing women are among Most Viewed videos in Israel -- where it originated -- and as of Sunday evening, it was also one of YouTube’s overall top spiking searches,

200,000 years of human evolution... caught on camera With the passage of another three weeks, another innumerable amount of amusing videos have been uploaded to YouTube. Here you’ll find a selection of some of the best videos of the summer, just in case you missed them by (heaven forefend) actually venturing outside your house.

Of all the weird and wonderful offerings the world of Youtube has offered us, there are few as interesting as the educational video. Some guide us through the everyday tasks we should have learned from our parents but didn’t feel the need to know, while others teach us things we wouldn’t have learned elsewhere. Nuclear boy, a tale of one square-headed child’s battle with diarrhoea, is a bizarre new take on the events in Japan at the moment. Essentially, the whole nuclear disaster boils down to too much gas and an overly full diaper. I

think. After watching all four and a half minutes of it, complex thoughts like uncovering metaphors is beyond the average person. There’s something comforting in the fact it is in Japanese, with subtitles- it makes the whole thing far more acceptable. Overall, my favourite quote is probably about Chernobyl. “It literally pooped in the classroom and it was diarrhea [sic]”. No matter what, it’s still better than Rebecca Black’s Friday.

THE

Culture

Wednesday 30th March

of Britney Spears or Lily Allen or whatever. But that’s the evolution of an artist I suppose. When The Beats label disintegrated in 2007, were you worried that your nascent rap career would be over? “Kind of. But I didn’t stop, ya’know; I kept releasing mixtapes, I carried on releasing singles, I shot a video. I mean, ‘Kickstarts’ came out in June last year, yeah. I released two single after that also with Ministry of Sound, with them funding it all obviously. But then ‘Shot Himself In the Foot Again,’ my single with Scream, which is one of the biggest songs in the clubs in the UK at the moment; I put that out myself. Gave it away for free download and it’s on around half a million downloads. We also shot a video for it, which I directed and funded myself; that’s got about 2 million views on the Internet. That wasn’t the label, that was all me. And I don’t give a fuck what the label thinks about it, really. I’m a bit of a rebel, I guess! I mean, if the label doesn’t want to release something I want to then I’ll just do it myself. I’m not supposed to, but like I said, I don’t really give a fuck. Many of Ireland’s top acts currently release their own material, although it’s always a struggle to finance that first single, EP or album. How did you gather the funding for those first releases? “I had a job, mate; I was an editor for Paramount Comedy Channel as well as a voice over artist for ‘em. It’s called Comedy Central now, though.” Considering you released ‘Shot Himself In the Foot Again’ for free download, what’s your perspective on the illegal downloading and the way it’s changed the music industry? “Well I know one they’re doing right now to change the music industry to try stop illegal downloading. They’re talking about when songs get their first radio play, after that you can buy it immediately on iTunes, which’ll mean you’ll get easier access to music. A lot of the reason why people are illegal downloading is because they don’t want to wait for it to be released. I don’t think its people actually thinking ‘No, I don’t wanna pay the artist.’ I think its people going ‘Fuck this, this song isn’t out for six weeks; I’m gonna download it off YouTube or off a blog’ or whatever. It’s not right, but it’s understandable. So hopefully if you make a song available on iTunes the day it comes out and this’ll be the first time people’ll hear it on radio, you’re gonna cut out piracy a lot and hopefully sell more units. You recently feature on a Professor Greene single, ‘Monster’. Collaborations are almost part-and-parcel of American rap music and it seems to be slowly becoming the same for British rap. “And I’m all for collaborations, but I wouldn’t want to do it on my album. I’ll sing on other people’s albums or whatever, but I don’t really want other people singing on mine. On my next album, I’m singing and rapping everything, which a bit unique nowadays.” It seems to be a common tactic used by the music industry these days to place a rap verse in pop artist’s debut single in order to widen its appeal. An example of this would be Lady Gaga with ‘Just Dance’. Do you have a perspective on this blending of genres, as it were? “Hmm, I don’t really think it matters to be honest. At the end of the days it’s all music. I used to have an opinion on it and I think some specialists do and some old-school muso probably think people should just stick to a genre, like things should all just be rock or just be pop or just hiphop or just dubstep. But you don’t have to stick to the rules of dubstep or the rules of grunge

or the rules of blues or whatever. But people are influenced by everything so music should just be everything, man. I mean, there’s no rule that says I can’t sing on dupstep or drum-andbass or whatever. Take that song ‘Pass Out’ by Tinie Tempah; it was, to me, the most important song of last year. Not because it’s by a UK rapper, but because it’s not a cheesy pop song even though it’s very pop-ey. It’s a cool underground club banger that has a hiphop tempo, it doesn’t really sound like anybody else; it’s got rapping on it, singing on it and then it turns into drumand-bass. It’s groundbreaking in a way, and that should inspire people to stop making generic music that sounds like everybody else. Same way that with ‘Kickstarts’; I wanted to rap and sing everything. And I’m not the best rapper or the best singer, but I can do both and I can make it work for me. And I made a song that works at clubs, festivals and on the radio, which is a rare thing. “But it’s all just music at the end of the day. And no one owns music. You know what I mean? Once you release a song it’s owned by the people. So, ya’know, I released ‘Kickstarts’ and that song means one thing to me, one thing to you and something else to somebody else. And you own that song. I don’t that you own it just because you bought it, but once you put it out in the public domain, be it through YouTube or radio, that song becomes an anthem for the people in whatever way they choose. If you deliver a song that connects, and ticks a certain amount of boxes, it doesn’t matter if it sticks to one genre or not. So if you’re Drake and you want to sing one song and then rap the next, or if you’re Lady Gaga and you want to rap… I know some people say that Lady Gaga shouldn’t rap because she didn’t come from a certain background or a certain scene, but really, there’s no rules.” Although there mightn’t be any rules, there definitely seems to be some stereotypes, especially in rap music. The classic example is American rap music’s obsession with wealth and infamy.

“Yeah, well that’s the American dream, isn’t it? American people are always about what they haven’t got and aiming for the best and aiming for the top, ya’know. If you just bought a new car, boast about it. If you just bought a watch, boast about it. And people become role models and heroes for their local city, and then they become heroes within their state and then they become a hero for the country. Where in the UK, for whatever reason, we like to knock people back. People in London, like; they don’t always want to see others do well. You might want your brother to do well or your mate to do well, but the general public aren’t really encouraging people.” So the UK is more cutthroat? “Yeah. I mean it can get cutthroat in America too, but at least over there they are supporting their own and championing their local heroes. But here, like I was saying, there’s a lot of jealously and hate directed towards people that do well.” Over the last few years, although the numbers are still small, there have been more and more Irish hiphop and rap artists emerging. Do you think Irish hiphop could ever rise to the level that British hiphop has? “I think, because of what hiphop is and where it’s come from, you always need to have a certain credibility attached to you. You need to speak the truth and of course you need to be really good at rapping and you need to have a story. The reason that rap works so well in America is that nearly everybody who raps came from a really poor, hard background and they become, like I said, a hero and become really rich. If you’re for Ireland or even Australia… there’s a certain stigma attached to people with funny accents rapping. People don’t take them as seriously, which is unfair. But it’s taken twenty years for the UK accent to be accepted in rap to be accepted, and of course now it’s really well established. Ireland’d be about five years behind us, Australia’d be about ten years behind. That’s in terms of stuff getting into the mainstream charts in

the UK and maybe America.” You seem to have tried your hand at everything, from filming to music and even stand-up comedy for a spell. Do you consciously approach life with a try-anything ethos, or has this all been serendipitous? “I dunno, maybe. I know I’ve always loved music and I’ve always wanted to be involved in films, and I kind of fell into music… But I thing I kind of get

this world now; I know what I’ve gotta do to make it work. I still don’t think I’m the best songwriter or the best singer or the best rapper; I just know that I’ve got my formula for what makes me work that no one else has got because there’s no one else like me. And I’m happy with doing that. No one else performs like me, no one else sings or raps like me, no one else looks like me, no one talks about the same

stuff as me. So in terms of the UK market, I’m in my own lane. I mean, I tried stand-up comedy and I got offered gigs off the back of it, but I found it too hard. In the end, I guess I will try my hand at anything though; if you want to challenge me with something, I’ll take the challenge, you know what I mean?”

Review

THOMAS

THE

Wednesday 30th March

Donal Round 1: Thomas

Disclaimer: My partner in reviewership, Donal McClean was asked to submit a piece on Tangled. He wrote this instead. Tangled is in there… I think… I now present it to you in it’s (more or less) unabridged context. I regret nothing. -Thomas Hello Maynooth-men and Maynooth-women and everyone in between. As my friend above has stated we are the voice of critical opinion that is to tell you what’s good and what’s Catwoman in the Movie world! Before we begin though I think you should probably know certain things about how I form my opinions before you can see why I very much am the fount of all objective truth in that which is Art. Also between him with the hair I very much am the bad cop in this partnership we’ve got going here. I believe movies very much fit into two categories, ones worth seeing, and Catwoman. There is no in between! Now. Let’s get started shall we? I am a man who very much is a believer in perspective and context. So before I begin my rant on this latest Disney production, allow for me to paint you the context in which this film was reviewed under. The time was 2pm on a cold and windy Thursday afternoon. My colleague and I had just arrived at Vue in the Liffey Valley Centre and both of us, in the fine college tradition, had just been a wake for the better part of two hours with the appropriately well fostered hangovers intact. Mine was maturing quite nicely by this point so before mind evening brunch could be bought, eaten and thrown back up again a movie was needed to be decided upon. Steadying my on my friends shoulder I stared at the queasily shifting wall and attempted to focus on the posters. Being the lead up to the Oscars the array of movie posters presented before us were pitiful to say the least and we both began to question the logic behind our decision for this day being the appropriate time for our debuting of our critiquing talents to the public of NUI Maynooth. After a pessimistic talk for fifteen minutes we thought a review about the fall of cinema during Oscar time would be a vaguely interesting topic to discuss… maybe. So we purchase tickets to go see Tangled with the, “well we’ve got nothing to lose”, mentality and headed off to Burger King to buy our breakfast (which I promptly threw back up) to wait for our movie to begin. Now let me just explain some-

Our Ratings System Here’s a rough guide to how we dissect the movies we watch. Yes, “dissect” is the right word to use.

thing before we continue, our decision making wasn’t flippantly undertaken, we had put some considerable thought and effort into making the right choices, we had just made a few boo-boos along the way. You see the previous night over many a drink we decided which movies not to review and which ones would appear more interesting to the reader. That’s right; we were that confident in you reading our opinions, we’re just that cool. We concluded that we should avoid such awesome titles like Black Swan and The Fighter as those who would have already seen them would already know of their brilliance and/or exaggerated splendour respectively. Therefore, to these people, our review would seem inherently all too narcissistic, much more so then we had already intended it to be. So we decided to settle on selecting a scathing critique of an obviously poor film, one of which we could have had you good reader doubled over in hysterics with our clever imagery and questionably politically correct metaphors (God, we’re great). The most obvious of choice was Nicolas Cage’s new diarrhoea diorama Season of the Witch. The line up we had before us was as follows and our decision for not seeing them were as such; The Dilemma (has that fat fuck from king of queens in it whose hatred I have for is so passive I do not even wish to summon the energy to google what his name is in case I become infected by ‘The Fat’), The Fighter (I simply didn’t want to give Mark Wahlberg a chance to redeem himself for Planet of the Apes nor did I want to support a film that was taking Christian Bale away from making the next Batman movie!) The Mechanic (it’s got Jason ‘Stupid Baldy Stubble Head’ Statham), The Next Three Days (If you don’t know the reason there is nothing I can say to make you understand, if you already know then there is no need for me to explain), Black Swan (this has promised to be a movie of intense cinema going slender, so you would have gotten bored of us talking about how it moved us in ways we’d never been moved before), The King’s Speech (yaaaawwnn! So sweepy), Tron Legacy (I’ve known the touch of a woman so they wouldn’t let me in) and Gulliver’s Travels (FUCK YOU JACK BLACK YOUR NOT AN ACTOR! STOP FUCKING AROUND AND SPEND MORE TIME ON YOUR MUSIC THE LAST ALBUM YOU CAME OUT WITH WAS BALLS!! BALLS!!) So for the reasons listed above we purchased our student tickets for Tan-

gled. Once within the soothing twilight of the cinema and were placed snugly within the lovingly comfortable bosom of our cinema chairs, realisation sank in. I stared at my very hairy comrade wearing a very heavy coat, still smelling very much of the alcohol we had indulgently partook of from the night prior, and came was about to complain about the amount of kids within the cinema and how the parents should know better taking kids to see movies like this…oh wait. I could see my friend coming to this revelation as well and thinking that I must look as equally suspicious if not more so. For the first time I began to regret acquiring a mo hawk just a few days previous. Our best bet was to stick to the shadows, sink into our seats, and hope to God no one informs the Gardaí that there were two scruffy men in a dark room with children in Liffey Valley… Finally darkness took the Cinema and the film began. Instantly I was captivated. The graphics were exactly of what I would expect from the 50th Disney feature, the narrator was likeable and fun enough for a children story but most of all, the tale he told was one which paid the most respectful homage to the old forgotten art of story telling. The visual and verbal disciplines merged tastefully together and one couldn’t help but be taken in. And then

they started fucking singing. Now don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into when I went to see a Disney film. In fact, I would say I am a huge fan of most of the Disney music out there, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin being just two of my favourites. BUT the disgusting limping, forced, literal poor excuses for lyrics that would make and X-Factor contestant blush had the audacity to associate itself with the wonders that the instruments where strumming, ringing and bellowing forth. At points they attempted to drown out the singer but sadly her too being a capable performer belched out her unambiguous description of her life to a jumpy beat. It was here that we were introduced to the man who shall forever be known as the Han Solo of Disney (yea that’s right Thomas I’m stealing your line, I’m going to be doing that a lot so you might want to get used to it now…. bitch). A Mr. Flynn Rider, a name that hit puberty before his own father. A name with such charisma that Christopher Walken, by comparison, looks like a child reciting the alphabet. This character with all his over confident and cocksureness was the one thing missing from the Disney line up of male protagonists. When we add in his interactions with a wide variety of other non-verbal characters you very much find yourself waiting for his next

appearance on screen. Fast forward to ending credits I must say that I had felt a genuine attachment to these characters and terribly compelled and touched by the story which unfolded before me. Slapstick was back in fashion as far as I was concerned with by the end of the movie and Disney was the horse it rode in on (watch the movie to get the pun). As I walked out of the cinema I had a genuine and sincere smile on my face. In spite of the hang over, in spite of not seeing Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis be lesbians in Black Swan, in spite of not seeing Anne Hathaway naked in Love and other Drugs, in spite of being a hairy man in a heavy coat with a mohawk in a dark room with a bunch of children at a Disney movie, I had a really great time. Plus…there’s always teh interwebz. I went into this movie expecting to see a Shrek 3, instead I got something that was, only because of the lyrics, nearly as good as Beauty and the Beast. I very much recommend anyone and everyone to see this, whether it is for a date or just to have some fun this is a good watch and is so worth the money the Student Union are going to be reimbursing me for. So I guess it just goes to show, exactly what I tell my girlfriend before I bless her with my nocturnal presence; “the lower your expectation, the more you will enjoy it”.

10/10

9/10

8/10

7/10

6/10

The crème de la crème of cinema. The very finest movies that have ever existed. Universally likeable. Completely original. Funny and action-packed too. Thought-provoking, thrilling, emotive movies that tick every box, meet every quota and then do a little bit more. When the human race is finally taken over by crab-people, these are the movies that we’ll have to preserve. The last one I can remember seeing in recent times was Up.

Amazing movies. The very best examples of their genre. Top of their game. Lot’s of nice words! These are movies that set out with a goal and achieve them brilliantly. It could be to make you laugh or cry or kill Norwegian people. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re talking about, more or less, a flawless movies. A rare breed.

Pretty damn slick slices of cinema. These movies do so much right that any faults that they actually do have don’t even bother you. Sure, there’s probably a flaw or two there, but you just don’t notice/care. This is incidentally the very same reason why I give your mam 8/10.

Really good movies. Does everything that they say on the tin. They probably don’t surprise you or change your life but you in all likelihood you don’t care. Well worth your time. Check ‘em out!

Decent films. Kills some time. Probably worth your money. These are movies that have some flaw(s) that you can’t quite ignore but it’s still a good experience. This is incidentally the very same reason why I give your sister 6/10

THE

Wednesday 30th March

Round 2: Donal Rapunzel, the heroine of the picture, is a young girl who has lived her entire life in a secluded tower under the watchful eye of Gothel, a nasty, greedy old bitch who, masquerading as her mother, keeps Rapunzel locked away so that only she may harness the mystical I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-botox youth-restoring properties of Rapunzel’s long ‘n’ luscious locks of blonde hair. Desperate to experience the world outside, our heroine enlists the help of Flynn Rider (yes that is his awesome awesome name), a wanted thief with handsome features and a God complex, after a chance meeting. Then the movie happens. Then you leave. That’s how it works. So....any good? For Disney’s fiftieth feature film (a fact that the producers proudly emblazon across the screen before the film starts), it looks like they’ve pulled out all the stops to make this their flashiest, slickest and most spectacular movie to date. Well, either that or the $260 million that it cost to make this movie was just burning a hole in their pockets. Being frank, the CGI lookin’ shyockin’ pritty. Special praise goes to the team that did Rapunzel’s hair. It just plain ol’ looks real! Now I’m not traditionally one to be impressed by flashy new technology that often (Avatar bored me into a coma) but daaaaaaamn! I actually found myself not minding that the budget of this movie could have instead been used to solve world hunger and buy every orphan I the world their own theme park.

Cricket in Ireland

But all the pretty graphics are just icing on the cake. This is not a movie to try to hold you on pretty pictures alone. Almost every aspect of this movie is done to an extremely high standard. The dialogue is witty (by Disney standards anyway), the pacing is beautiful (there is not a single moment where the movie feels like it’s in a lull) and it’s genuinely funny on a level that appeals to children, parents and, most importantly to you who’s reading this i.e. a jaded, cynical and soulless college student who likes Radiohead. The characters are, for the most part, extremely likeable. Special mention should go to Zachary Levi for his portrayal of Flynn Rider. Putting it bluntly, Disney now has its’ own Han Solo. Another special mention should go to the fact that Disney went and had the plain ol’ good taste to not include any pop culture references in the movie, a trend that seems to hang around animated movies like a bad smell these days. Personally, I blame Shrek. It was a good movie and all but if I ever see another kids’ movie that has a Pulp Fiction reference or a song with T-Pain or some crap then I might just <insert token witty drastic response here>. Movies just started using them as a crutch to prop up movies that didn’t have any damn story in them but not so in Tangled! Instead, the film relies on a great script, amazing set pieces and pacing the jumpy-action-ruaround bits with the talky-wordy-speaky-singy bits (y’know like movies did before all the

fancy CGI, but now I sound old). The whole plot is a nice 21st century update of the whole ‘once-upon-a-time-blahblah-blah-happily-ever-after’ formula with a few nice touches that I won’t mention here (cos’ spoilers be not cool). But of course, very few movies are perfect… Bear in mind, that what I’m about to say is mostly me being a knit-picky little bitch but this wouldn’t be a review if I didn’t mention any problems that the movie has. These are pretty much entirely problems that you either won’t notice or care about. Well, I didn’t care about ‘em at least. Firstly, the music ain’t great. The lyrics just don’t give children any credit (I’m not expecting Bob Dylan here, but for the love of God, Disney…) and I can hardly remember a single note of a single tune in it. It never pretended to be a musical, but if they’d removed pretty much every song from the movie I don’t think I would have thought it was missing something. Also the relationship between the characters Rapunzel and Flynn seems to develop at a weird pace that isn’t really related to the events going on around them. But, like I said, that’s me knit picking. If you actually watch this movie and think that any of those complaints are real issues at all then congratulations. You have no soul and never discovered the true meaning of Christmas. So, yeah. It’s good and stuff. Go see it. Just sayin’. Donal McLean

Gaeltacht 2.0

Oisin Marsh

I have a confession to make, I am an Irish cricketer for the last twenty-one years I have spent my summers chasing, throwing and occasionally hitting a five and three quarter ounce leather ball around grassy field throughout Leinster. I was in the stadium the day Ireland beat Pakistan in Kingston. For many of those, like me (my father is a former under 19’s coach), it runs in the family especially in certain parts. My cricket has been played mostly in Fingal where certain families have always been associated with their local cricket club, current international John Mooney’s family are closely tied to Balrothery based side North County. His older brother a former international made his name there as did his late father. Eoin Morgan, England’s former Irish international came up through the youth system at my club Rush along with two of his brothers and one sister, the other sister playing in Malahide and for Ireland. On the south side the O’Brien brothers have both followed in their father’s footsteps playing for Railway Union and Ireland and by my reckoning at least four of Ed Joyce’s siblings have been capped for their country at senior level. The sport is now growing outside of that base, the summer of 2007 after the last world cup saw large numbers of interested beginners and youngsters take up the game and that will hopefully occur again. Irish cricket has once again entered into the mainstream media with the recent victory over the English, a sense of fulfilment at having beaten them at their own game being a large part of this, but the sad fact is that cricket is no longer England’s game. The power now lies in the subcontinent and more specifically in the hands of India. This is Irish cricket’s biggest problem. Cricket in India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka is a major business, the players are celebrities and the sums of money are vast. Television rights for IPL 4 the Indian premier league have gone for over one billion US dollars and a quarter of India’s total advertising revenue will

be spent on cricket. So what happens if this team is knocked out of the world cup early as happened to both India and Pakistan in 2007, the answer is financial loss to all concerned. To counteract this Crickets governing body have done all they could to make sure there would be no repeat performance including expanding the groups from four teams to seven meaning more shock results are needed and to make doubly sure that the big sides won’t go out to minnows in 2015 they aren’t invited. To qualify for previous world cups the associate (non test playing nations) sides have competed in a qualifying tournament as it stands this will not take place and only ten teams will enter; the test nations. Ireland will feel that they should have progressed to the quarter finals, that was their aim and they will be disappointed not to have made it. A poor finish against Bangladesh and some basic errors against the West Indies cost us that spot. To push India as close as we did was more than some would have hoped for but again a late collapse cost Ireland vital runs which could have been enough. Why are these mistakes being made? It’s simply this while the Irish team is very talented they have only played fifteen games against the Test nations since the last world cup four years ago. Eight of these games were against the two lowest ranked nations. Ireland can only hope to get better by playing the best regularly. This summer England will host Sri Lanka and India for seven test and ten one days matches Ireland will play Sri Lanka once and England once, not enough matches to get the experience they need. Irish cricket has the potential to reach the same level as the big name sides but only if they are given a fair chance. Hopefully the support that they have received from the cricket fans in India will help the governing body realise that the underdogs deserve a place at the top too. Oisin Marsh

Get involved

Joe Byrne The Gaeltachtaí are shrinking. Fewer and fewer native Irish speakers are living in the designated areas of the West of Ireland that have traditionally been the anchors of the Irish-speaking community. This is a cause of great concern for Irish conservationists and revivalists. However, in recent years things have begun to change. Not in the Gaeltachtaí, but, surprisingly, in the great urban centres of modern Ireland. It began with the Gaelscoileanna: these Irish-speaking schools have become the hub of many Gaelic sub-communities over the past decade or so, with 38,000 students now studying at primary and secondary level through Irish. These schools and other factors like the younger more dynamic image of the language presented in the media by TG4 and other outlets has laid the ground for a new social phenomenon that is increasingly being mentioned in the Irish language community: Gaeltacht 2.0. No longer tied to geographic restrictions - such as those of Gaeltacht areas - the future of the Irish language is in the ability of speak-

ers to interact in a real way across the country without all living in the same area and the explosion of "Web 2.0" in the early 21st century has provided the necessary fertile ground for Irish to spread outside the schoolroom into people's daily lives. Web 2.0 describes the second incarnation of the internet as a collection of user-created and usershared content: YouTube, Wikipedia, social networking sites (like Facebook, Bebo and MySpace) and Twitter are all prime examples of the democratisation of the web that has been the decadedefining social revolution. The presence of the Irish language on the web has subtly grown over the last few years to such a level that the term Gaeltacht 2.0 has been coined in recent months to describe this new style of Irish language community. Surprisingly, though, this prevalence can be almost invisible to those not taking part in the process. A range of useful websites such as focal.ie, a terminology database, and Gaelport. ie, a website that keeps a calandar of all Irish language activities across the world and relevant media reports,

have made Irish-language concerns accessible to all online people. Popular websites such as Google and Facebook allow user to operate in Irish and in the latter case, the translation project is still ongoing and actively encourages user-participation. On Facebook, in particular, this new "Gaeltacht" can readily be seen and anyone can potentially be part of it. A wide variety of groups are set up relating to Irish-language events or concerns. National organisations like Conradh na Gaeilge, Rith 2010, Seachtain na Gaeilge and Raidió Rí-Rá maintain an active online presence and interact with fans, friends and members frequently and moreover one can develop a network of contacts, all of whom are passionate about or use the Irish language frequently in their online lives. This interconnection and overlapping of groups can only occur in an environment as dynamic as the web and has given the language a new lease of life among our net-rooted generation. "Gaeltacht ár linne, Gaeltacht ar líne/The Gaeltacht of our time is the Gaeltacht Online"

theprint@ nuimsu.com

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Average. Worth your while…. I guess… You’ll possibly enjoy this if you’re a diehard fan already or the girl you’re taking to the cinema is. It’s got a few things that’ll bug you and you’ll probably forget about it in a week. Oh well…

Scraping a pass. This level of film is the last stop when it comes to being considered “worth your while”. Maybe they have some vague redeeming quality. Maybe the star of the film is sexy. Maybe you just love wasting money. Either way, not a satisfying experience.

Fail. These movies have crossed the line. They’re just not enjoyable. On any level. Plain and simple. If your date suggests going to this then it’s your job to tell them that there’s better out there. Movies, that is. Not dates. These movies probably have one single flimsy idea in them and they even mess that up. Therefore, examples of this type of film would include some of the more ‘exotic’ types of porn...

Movies with Catherine ZetaJones in them.

Not worth your time. Not worth your money. A pox on thee! These are the movies that make you feel worse as a person just for seeing them. And if you pay money for it then you’re making a mistake. If your date suggests going to see a movie like this, then dump them. Why? Because if you stay with them then don’t say we didn’t warn you when you end up making a clutch of stupid babies together.

Catwoman starring Halle Berry. The very deepest, darkest hole of the Stygian abyss of bad movies. No other film has ever insulted the human race by its’ very existence than in the way that this godless slice of frozen moose piss did. If another filmmaker ever doesn’t learn from the lessons of the past and makes a movie worse than this then I will fly over to Hollywood and make him eat his own children. Don’t fucking push me.

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