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- The 1, 2, 3 of The Belly Dance Image
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fitness
focus
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- Dyspareunia
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- Sonya Rosario Taking on the Worst of Things
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- 4 Problems to Drained Energy and What Fixes It
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- Confused Responses
- Sleep Lover’s Simple Workouts for Shoulders
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e v i t a n r e t l A Th e Q o s r e r e f f Fo r s u r • Bi p o l a sio n • De p re s ty • An x ie In ju r y • Bra i n • O CD • A u t i sm
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Confused
Family
Krista Moffis, LMSW www.Journeys-Hospice.com
The elderly can get caught in a web of confusion as they age. When this happens, chaos swirls. Add to this, their caregivers. A caregiver is typically a daughter with a family, job, and life of her own. Collide the confusion of aging parents alongside a woman with a full life, and it can be isolating. Understanding why this happens and gaining a few tools to understanding can help free a caregiver of feeling like a prisoner. We begin bonding with others from the day we are born, forming attachments. The basic premise of attachment theory is the way infants develop socially and emotionally
depends on how they attach to their primary caregiver. Secure attachments lead to more appropriate social and emotional development. Recent studies find a significant relationship between attachment and behavior styles later in life. When an older person is experiencing illness or loss, they seek out attachment figures according to their past experience. One of the most difficult attachment behaviors for children and grandchildren of their aged family member is parental fixation. Parental fixation is the belief that their parents are still alive. When this is perceived, the person may ask where their parents are, and request to go home. Some aged people may ask when their parents are coming to get them. It is important for caregivers to understand that as difficult as this is, your loved one is seeking out the people who made them feel safe and secure. When this situation arises the best thing to do is say “I don’t know where they went” or “they will be here later.” Older adults who had poor attachments earlier in life may be susceptible to adult separation anxiety disorders. That will cause them to avoid being alone. This can leave caregivers feeling guilty for leaving, or like a prisoner in their own environment. The most important thing to remember is that these reactions have been learned over a lifetime and are unlikely to change. Joining your loved one in “their world” is the best way to help.
iwj
Tools to working with elderly when they are confused: Understand they are looking for security, confirmation, and connection. Respond to the elderly when they are searching or asking questions using repeated statements, • • • • • • • •
www.idahowomensjournal.com
I don’t know They’ll return when they’re finished It’s going to be okay You’ll find it soon Take a break and you can begin looking again You can begin looking again tomorrow I know it’s frustrating, but you’ll be happy once you find it I’m sure they’re just fine
Apr/May 2013
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Fun
The 1, 2, 3 of the
Belly Dance Image Jahanara • www.JahanaraDancer.com
Numerous articles have been written about women and their negative body images. Women invest in surgeries and medi-spa treatments in an attempt to feel more beautiful. They force themselves to do exercises they hate, in an attempt to pound their bodies into an ideal shape.
cortisol levels, which are tied to feelings of confidence.
Why does belly dancing have this effect on women, when so many other dance forms have the opposite effect? When looking at belly dancing’s positive effects on women’s body image, there may be several forces at play.
Narrow hips and not much on top? Movements will look slinkalicious!
Second, learning to do something unique and well can improve self-esteem.
Third, the belly dance community embraces all shapes, sizes and ages, and “They force themselves to Several studies have so does the dance itself. discovered that women who do exercises they hate, in an Unlike other dance forms, take Belly Dance Classes gain attempt to pound their bod- which only look good on a positive body image. One ies into the ideal shape.” or can only be done by a study found the longer certain body type, belly women belly danc, the greater their appreciation dancing brings out the beauty of every body. for their bodies, regardless of their shape or size. Larger hips? Shimmies will be impressive!
First, belly dancing strengthens the core muscles. People with a strong core carry themselves differently, with more confidence. Belly Dancers are also taught to hold their chest and head high. Social Psychologist, Amy Cuddy’s, research on body language, and its effects on testosterone and cortisol in the brain, concluded that people holding a “power” posture for just two minutes had higher testosterone levels and lower
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Apr/May 2013
Non-impact and low-impact moves won’t damage older joints.iwj
Use these search terms on the Internet: • Belly Dancing • Oriental Dance Class • Middle Eastern Dance To find a local instructor: www.Jahanaradancer.com
www.idahowomensjournal.com
Dyspareunia
Fitness
Dr Shashi Ajmani, OB/GYN • Women’s Health Associates • www.WHAdoctors.com
vaginal atrophy. It results from a lack of estrogen, especially in menopause. The tissue of the vagina and vulva (lips) become thinner and less pliable with age and lack of estrogen. The vagina becomes drier and a lubricant often becomes necessary to have sex. On occasion, the dryness can cause enough pain for comfortable intercourse to be impossible. When this happens, losing a desire for intercourse can happen. A vaginal estrogen can prevent and reverse that degree of atrophy.
There is a topic that rarely passes in conversations. Yet, it is a vital part of a fit and healthy intimate relationships. Pain during sex. Painful intercourse, otherwise known as Dyspareunia (dis-puhroo-nee-uh), is a very common problem that women usually don’t bring to the attention of their physician. In one study, only 28 percent of women consulted a doctor despite prolonged and severe pain with sex. It is important for women to be proactive as most causes of dyspareunia can be treated and some could worsen if left untreated. There are many causes of painful intercourse. The most common in women under 50 years of age is Vulvodynia (vəl-vō-ˈdin-ē-ə), or pain with touching at the opening of the vagina. It may occur without apparent cause, and even with the initial attempts at sex or placing a tampon. It can occur even after a time of having enjoyable sex in the past. The treatment of vulvodynia includes lidocaine (numbing) ointment and physical therapy to relax and desensitize the tender area. Vaginismus (vaj-uh-niz-muhs) is thought to be involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vagina when attempting penetration. It can be due to psychological factors or as a result of repetitive pain. Sex therapy, desensitization, and gradual dilation can be helpful.
There are many other possible causes of painful sex, including bladder, vaginal, or pelvic infections. Fibroids (benign muscle tumors of the uterus), endometriosis (tissue from the lining of the uterus that attaches in the pelvis) and ovarian cysts or masses. Problems in any of these areas can also result in painful intercourse. If this is the case, it is important for women to discuss it with their doctors. There may be simple adjustments that can lead to an enhanced sex life, or it could be signs of a significant problem that needs to be addressed. Regardless of cause, women and their partners should have the best sexual relationship possible.iwj
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To learn more:
If you are experiencing pain during intercourse:
• • •
Consult your physician as the first point of contact Research medical dictionaries online for general information and understanding Contact Women’s Health Associates if you do not have a physician
The most common cause of pain with sex in women over 50 is www.idahowomensjournal.com
Apr/May 2013
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Focus
Sonya Rosario Taking on the Worst of Things
Chereen Langrill In 1991 Sonya Rosario sat with her mother on a plush
“It pisses me off that I couldn’t do anything.”
Victorian sofa and asked this question: “Would you like to die happy?”
The sofa they sat on together will soon be the centerpiece of a national tour called “The Sofa Diaries.” Rosario will take the sofa
Rosario’s mother (the owner of that lovely sofa) endured
to seven cities and interview mothers and daughters as they
36 years of marriage that involved verbal, physical and
sit on the sofa and share their stories. Although abuse was the
mental abuse. Even though the man was Rosario’s father,
initial topic discussed on the sofa, it isn’t the only focus of the
she wanted her mother to experience the peace and
project. Rosario says mothers and daughters can discuss any
serenity that could only come from divorce. It drove her
issue they want to share.
to ask her mother that question, and she was prepared for the answer.
Rosario was a military brat and grew up in the Netherlands, Italy and Terceira Island (off the coast of Portugal).
“I saw a lot of abuse to my mother and sometimes it haunts me.... It pisses me off that I couldn’t do anything.”
She was the only daughter of four children, and like all mothers and daughters, Rosario has strong memories involving lessons she learned from her mother as a girl. One of those memories involves a valuable lesson she learned when she was around 20 and having lunch with her mother
“My mother said to me that she didn’t know how to get
in a restaurant. The woman serving their meal set Rosario’s
out of her marriage,” Rosario says. “She didn’t want to be
plate onto the table with so much force that Rosario snapped
criticized and was afraid of what her family would say.”
at her, saying “If you don’t want to serve us you shouldn’t work here.” Her mother, who always called Rosario “sister,” scolded
Rosario presented a solution. “I told her, ‘We’ll both
her daughter and said her cruel words humiliated her. She
divorce him. We’ll do it together.’”
pointed out that the server was shuffling her feet and that they
She lived up to her word, and Rosario helped her mother
probably hurt. That the abrupt service wasn’t about them. It
break free from her father’s grasp. She even paid for
was about her, and how she was in pain and probably tired
the divorce. Rosario no longer has a relationship with
from a long day. As Rosario began to cry, her mother told her
her father. Her mother was free for 20 years until her
to change her actions and leave her a generous tip, and she
death in 2011. “She died of dementia. It’s memory loss.
did.
And she probably wanted to forget a lot,” Rosario says. “My mother said, ‘That’s the girl I want to change the world.’ “I saw a lot of abuse to my mother and sometimes it haunts me,” Rosario says.
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Apr/May 2013
www.idahowomensjournal.com
Rosario has gone on to change. She is the founder of Women of Color Alliance, an organization that focuses on race and gender equality, and is also a poet and documentary film maker. Her recent project, “Idaho’s Forgotten War,” tells the story of the Kootenai tribe’s battle against the U.S. government in the 1970s, when they demanded better living conditions for their people living in a village near Bonners Ferry and protested the taking of more than one million acres of ancestral land. Rosario works out of a small upstairs office in Boise’s North End. It’s an office with a clear “let’s get down to business” look, complete with a large conference table. But it also says “welcome home.” Rosario serves tea to her guests as if they are visiting her at home. Her walls are covered with words of inspiration: A mural that says “We decide” and a Rosie the Riveter clock with the words “We can do it.”
“Never look away, sister. You never know when you’ll have a golden opportunity or be able to change someone’s life.” “My mother used to tell me, ‘Never look away, sister. You never know when you’ll have a golden opportunity or be able to change someone’s life.’” Her mother’s sofa will travel the country in Rosario’s mini-van, serving as a quiet witness to countless hours of raw conversation between mothers and daughters throughout the country. Rosario thinks the process will take two or three years, and she is in the early stages right now. Soon a website will be finished, and women will have the opportunity to visit the site and apply online to share their stories on the sofa. She wants to hear it all: The joy,
For more information or to apply to be interviewed, contact “The Sofa Diaries,”
the humor, the confusion, the fear and the struggles. “My mother and I made a pact. A silent one. That women
www.sonyarosario.com
wouldn’t have to accept what was written 100 years ago, and that a daughter doesn’t have to live her mother’s lifestyle.” iwj www.idahowomensjournal.com
Apr/May 2013
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Food
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Problems to Drained Energy... Emily Barker, Manager of Nutritional Coaching www.MyFitFoods.com
V
and what fixes it
is viva is Latin for living force – the internal part of us that makes us feel alive and energetic. It is the ultimate marker of optimal health and for most busy women, we have lost our vis viva! Hardworking women have more to do in a day than the time to do it. Often women rely on quick energy fixes such as caffeine and sugar to power through the days, but this is not sustainable in the long term! Energy problems stem from a poor diet, lack of exercise and allowing to be stretched too thin. Sound familiar? The good news is that the pattern can be broken. Focus on balancing your life and accelerating your energy naturally and everything else will fall into place, including weight, sleep habits, skin and wellbeing. What lies beneath our body’s need for energy? FOCUS: Often women reach for more energy, because we feel scattered and overwhelmed. As working women, there is an overload of things going on. There’s a misconception that if we just had more energy we could make it all happen. More focus would actually help us reclaim our energy. Improve your focus by: • • • •
Making a list of what needs to be done and when, and breaking it down into manageable chunks Prioritizing the list Doing one thing at a time instead of multi-tasking Delegating - ask someone else for help
EXHAUSTION: Our drive for more energy is often sitting on a well of exhaustion and no matter how much you feed it, exhaustion won’t go away. Treat exhaustion by: • • • •
Taking a nap Going to bed earlier Drinking 80 oz. of water a day (dehydra tion contributes to fatigue) Eliminating or reducing caffeine
LOW BLOOD SUGAR LEVELS: It’s not uncommon for busy women to just keep moving all day long, without eating regular meals. In the blink of an eye, it is mid-afternoon and blood sugar levels are so low that you end up reaching for anything. Steady your blood sugar level by: • • •
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Eating a protein rich breakfast within 30 minutes of waking Eating small, frequent meals every 3 hours Including a balance of low glycemic index carbohydrates, protein, fiber and healthy fats in all meals or snacks Apr/May 2013
NUTRIENT DEFICIENCIES: Poor energy levels are also warning signs that your health has declined and your body isn’t operating at its best, and often that is due to deficiencies in basic nutrients. The body needs basic building blocks to make things happen and with stress, we burn up our supply of B vitamins. Without enough B12, the blood cells can’t carry enough oxygen to the brain, and that zaps energy. Supplement for nutrient deficiencies: • • •
Vitamin B12 & L-Carnitine by My Fit Foods A high quality multi-vitamin such as at the My Fit Foods Daily Fit Pack CoQ10, Probiotics, EGCG A place to shop: (found in Green Tea) & MyFitFoods.com offers B12 & Rhodiolaiwj L-Carnitine, multi-vitamins, and low glycemic index meals that will boost your energy
A book to read: The Most Effective Ways on Earth to Boost Your Energy, by Jonny Bowden, Ph.D, CNS www.idahowomensjournal.com
For Me Dr Yvonne Fedewa • www.ELifeBoise.com
The average American wants to be in shape yet is committed to anything and everything else than going to the gym. When that alarm clock goes off it is easier to shut if off for more sleep than wake up to drive to the gym. Later in the day the “should haves”, “could haves”, “would haves” bubbles up into a guilty feeling. It pops up making it even less likely that the gym will happen tomorrow. There is a solution to this. It is still possible to be committed to sleep AND wellness. In fact, it is so simple it can be done wearing PJs in the kitchen. Working and building lean muscles can be done anywhere. It is as simple as taking six 20 minute time clusters with any 3 to 10 exercises. All that is needed to be done is 90 percent of intensity, in 20 second bursts; 20 second rests for 2 minutes each exercise. Here are 4 exercises for an 8 minute shoulder workout.
Triceps Extension Grab 2 cans of soup or small weights. Start standing by leaning forward 45 degrees with the arms flexed at a 90-degree angle then straighten arms. Repeat for 20 seconds, rest of 20 seconds for 2 minutes then move on.
Rhomboid Squeeze Standing hold arms above head in the Y of the “YMCA pose” Squeeze shoulder blades together while pulling elbows slowly down to the rib cage.
Plank Get down on the floor, get into a pushup position (hands/ toes or elbows/toes), hold here for 20 seconds, and rest for 20 seconds. Total of two minutes then move on.
Shoulder Circles Grab two cans of soup or small weights hold arms up at sides making a T with the body. Move shoulders in a circular motion for 20 seconds, then rest 20 seconds for 2 minutes and move on.
It’s simple, fun, easy, and oh so rewarding. Try these 3 times a week. The improved shoulder muscles, increased energy and great mood will be addicting. iwj www.idahowomensjournal.com
Apr/May 2013
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