Cerberus | December 2023 Issue by Ashley Hall

CERBERUS

Cerberus

The Literary Magazine of Ashley Hall Charleston, South Carolina

2023 Editorial Team Charlotte Torrez ‘25: Senior Editor-in-Chief Helen Kourtidis ‘26: Junior Editor-in-Chief Elizabeth Brisson ‘27 Ellen Lesemann ‘25 Dagny Mauro ‘25 Charlotte Guffey ‘28 Faculty Advisors and Editors Chris Hughes Christina Trimarco Jane Pelland Emmad Soltan Front Cover Art Ellen Lesemann ‘25 Brian Principe From the Editors Dear Ashley Hall,

Cerberus, an Ashley Hall publication since 1912, earned an esteemed place among the school’s time-honored traditions. The original title derives from a stuffed dog belonging to a boarding student. This stuffed dog, standing guard at the Ashley Hall gates to welcome the students back every school year, traveled around campus. Adored by many 1

students, it became a mascot to “guard” the school’s gates—hence its classical namesake.

Cerberus was rebranded in 2008 to the Acanthus to honor architectural features in McBee House and the Acanthus plant,whose tall stalks are adorned with purple and white blooms. Last year, we began the process of reviving the Acanthus, to shake off the last pieces of the pandemic sluggishly holding on to us. The idea of revival began as a simple theme, but after researching, we realized how important Cerberus is in Ashley Hall's history. The first publication of Cerberus in December 1912 arrived just in time for the holiday season making it the perfect gift for the community. The first Cerberus features blurbs on Ashley Hall athletics and social life, and it also details events in the larger Charleston and global community. Since its founding, Cerberus never missed a publication until COVID-19; it even surpassed both world wars. Our revival of Cerberus includes many odes to the first edition, one of which is an illustration of McBee House originally printed on the title page in 1912 and reprinted on the back cover of the 2023 publication. The Cerberus team is excited to return to the original name and connect to the Ashley Hall girls of 1912. They worked on this same publication with the same name over a hundred years ago, and we are proud to continue what they began. As you read, please join us in congratulating the Cerberus girls of 1912 and of 2023, to whom we all must say: PQV.

First Issue 1912 Cerberus Letter From the Editor-in-Chief, Elizabeth G. Woolsey There has been a feeling among us for some time that Ashley Hall is large enough and has enough school spirit to support a magazine. In the beginning of this season this idea began to grow and take form, and a staff was elected. Cerberus is a quarterly of the school year, published in December, February, April, and June. It is our aim to have it essentially a school magazine, but at the same time we feel that it must also represent the outside world, which plays so large a part in our school life. We hope that we will always represent the school as a whole, and that as time goes on we will bind together alumnae and undergraduates more closely. If we can do this, and if we can always print stuff that is well written and interesting aside from its personal associations, we will feel that Cerberus has justified its existence. We are glad that our first issue appears at this season, the happiest of the year, when the Christmas spirit is in the air with its cheerful hurry and its feeling of happy expectancy. We like to think of coming with the Christmas mail, and being opened by the cheery hearth, littered with ribbons and papers; of being read by girls at home on their vacation, and being shown by them to proud and happy families. Yes, we are glad that our first issue is the Christmas number, and we hope as you read these pages a little of the Christmas spirit will drift into your heart with the sunshine and the pealing bells, and that you will see, in our poems and stories, not the faults of execution, but the dream and vision of the creator. Readers and friends, and unknown friends at home and across the sea, we wish you one and all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 3

Cerberus Staff 1915-1916

Cerberus Staff 2023-2024 4

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Rooms…by Helen Kourtidis…8 Self Portrait…by Helen Kourtidis…10 Northwest…by Helen Kourtidis…11 McBee House…by Annie Goldstein…13 Shell House…by Isla Dillahey…13 McBee Room…by Ellen Lesemann…14 Recital Hall…by Ellen Lesemann…14 Best Friends… by Allison Bowden…15 Je t’aime…by Joelle Kernen…16 Eiffel Tower… by Caroline Rivers…18 Puppy Portraits… by Elizabeth Perkins…19 Who Does History Love?…by Helen Kourtidis…21 Amalthea…by Ellen Lesemann…23 Raised by the Internet… by Maxine Miller…24 Clay Emotion 1… by Dagny Mauro…27 Ghost House…by Nancy Langston…28 The Road…by Caroline Rivers…29 My Trust Lies With The Kids in My Generation… by Joelle Kernen…30

Untitled I…by Isabelle Grek…33 Mars… by Joelle Kernen…34 Untitled II…by Isabelle Grek…36 5

Coffee Pot… by Ella McCall…37 Shocked Clay Emotion…by Dagny Mauro…39 Shattered Glass Memories…by Joelle Kernen…40 Shattered Clay Emotion…by Dagny Mauro…44 Anhinga…by Anna Brock…45 Bison…by Caroline Rivers…46 Hummingbird…by Caroline Rivers…47 Bird Portrait…by Ella McCall…48 Folly Creek… by Penny Rose…49 Inertia… by Nancy Langston…50 Bird Portrait…by Giselle Thacker…51 Migration…by Caroline Rivers…52 Boat…by Caroline Rivers…53 Does Everything Happen for a Reason?…by Kaylee Knight…53

The Outsiders - What About Sodapop?…by Lucy David…58

Liberty…by Natalie Cina…63 The Stolen Night…Anonymous…65 Romeo and Juliet - Rebellion for Love…by Lucy David…68

Longing…by Lucy David…73

A Man Reborn – DBQ Essay… by Helen Kourtidis…74

Free…by Mille Heyward…78 Mountain…by Caroline Rivers…80 McBee Grave…by Emmad Soltan…80 Gate: New Beginnings…by Anna Brock…82

Rooms Helen Kourtidis My life is a hallway Each door leads to a different piece of my mind Geometry English Science These rooms must be perfect Not. One. Pencil. Out. Of. place. Not if you want to pass the class To get into the college To succeed. The grades are in control Other rooms are more comfortable, My books of fantasy and fiction, My music that lifts me up or calms me down, My favorite characters, Welcome me to the rooms of external sources of joy 8

Where their creators are in control But at the end of the hallway, There is a door that only I can see, One only I have the key to. It leads to a room Where I am in control. My imagination is a room full of magic Anything is possible, If only I can think it. There is more than I can explain, More than I can write down, And it is always growing. So when I walk down my hallway of a mind throughout my day Stepping in each room as long as I need To get the grade To read the book To hear the song I often find myself slipping away To indulge in the room of my creation, Where I am Every silly character and powerful heroine I have always wanted to be.

Self Portrait by Helen Kourtidis

Northwest Helen Kourtidis The northwest side of my school Is full of art One building is stocked full of projects Paintings, drawings of charcoal and graphite, Sculptures from wood and metal and glass, Every color study, gesture drawing, and geometric shape, Is filled with a passion for the beauty of our world The northwest side of my school Is full of music Sitting in a little cushioned nook by the stairwell, One can listen to private lessons and classes, Of kids of all ages And even the cacophony of works-in-progress, False notes on the piano, A cello out of tune or a screechy violin, Make a beautiful symphony of patience and devotion The northwest side of my school Has the oldest building on campus, And the structure, the furniture, and the stairwell, The construction itself Is such a work of art that photographers and artists are pulled To its white columns and wide arches, Its feeling of history in the hardwood floors, 11

And its vision for the future logged in laptops that sit on century-old desks The northwest side of my school Doesn’t really have separate buildings, The hallways and stairwells connect A sprawling structure framing courtyards, a fountain, and a cave, Where the art, the music, the architecture are one, Just as we are when we share them with each other. When I sit in that nook In that hallway In that spread-out building Looking at that art and listening to their music I can’t help but smile Because I’ve never felt more at home

McBee House by Annie Goldstein

Shell House by Isla Dillahey 13

McBee House by Ellen Lesemann 14

Best Friends by Allison Bowden 15

je t’aime Joelle Kernen

Elle a dit: J’aime des framboises parce qu'elles sont ton nourriture préférée Mais j’ai dit: Je t’aime J’aime écrire dans mon journal car j’aime nôtres rendez-vous Je t’aime J’aime ta vieille voiture qui aboyer comme un chien Je t’aime J’aime le coucher de soleil avec ses couleurs Je t’aime J’aime tes yeux bleus commes l'Océan Je t’aime J’aime la musique que tu fredonnes Je t’aime J’aime ton style de vêtements Je t’aime J’aime ta mauvais cuisinier

Je t’aime J’aime ta souris qui brille Je t’aime J’aime tes dessinées Je t’aime J’aime ta rire

Je t’a im e Je t’a im e

Eiffel Tower by Caroline Rivers 18

Puppy Portrait I by Elizabeth Perkins

Puppy Portrait II by Elizabeth Perkins

Who Does History Love? Helen Kourtidis I am a big fan of history I love ancient architecture, Renaissance art, and Enlightenment ideas I relish connections between cultures and parallels in pages of books that are separated by hundreds of years But history would not love me. Every time I sit down to write an essay on the Renaissance man Or a paper on the values of education I remember History would not love me. Marie Curie discovered two elements And revolutionized science With a husband who got most of the credit Later, widowed, she loved a married man Who cheated on his wife and Madame Curie got all of the blame History did not love her. Maria Theresa was quite the empress 21

A ruler of Prussia who transformed education Who strengthened their army and tax structure, She fought for doctors to know how to help Bring life into this world without mothers knowing they wouldn’t survive. But they fought a war over her Because a woman could never lead. History did not love her. Helen of Troy was blamed for a war fought by ruthless men Eleanor of Aquitaine was blamed for not bearing a son Cleopatra must have been beautiful because it can’t be fathomed that her allure came from intelligence History did not love them. The most powerful women The kindest women The smartest women All weren’t powerful, kind, or smart enough for their male counterparts. Their will and work gave them the ability, But men wrote history books. No matter how much I love history It does not love me back. 22

Amalthea by Ellen Lesemann

Raised by the Internet Max Miller

I was raised by people who were No more than 1x1 picture frames on my screen Trying to ask in the nicest way possible How old they were “I promise I won’t tell anyone” Kind of game To satisfy my parents’ concerns Always being cautious of what I told them “Can they use this against me?” Kind of way of thought. I was raised by mindless entertainment Watching Youtube videos by content creators That are only in it for the money And probably don’t even care about children “Thank you guys for donating so much” Kind of videos Crying at their apology skit that I actually thought was genuine Dreaming of being like them when I grow up “No, I just really enjoy their content” Kind of defenses. I was raised by Urban Dictionary Telling me all of the words I should not have known yet 24

Finding out what all of my 1x1 picture frame friends were talking about Wanting to be included and part of the group “Oh, I like that band too” Kind of desperation. I was raised by a constant headache Caused by staring at my computer screen for too long Taking in all that it has to offer “Hey do you have some Tylenol?” Kind of requests Sitting in a stuffy room for hours on end “Come down for dinner” “Just one more minute” Kind of conversation. I was raised by stressful days and sleepless nights Needing to finish one more assignment Having to stay up to complete one more essay Opening the computer again and finding my school project “Why aren’t you in bed?” Kind of late nights Trying so hard to understand the topic in class Spending more time looking it up than doing the work “What don’t you understand?” Kind of help The anxiety in the back of my head telling me I could be studying Writing that online essay Or I will never get into a good high school 25

“Shouldn’t you take a break? Too much screen time can be bad for you” Kind of work I was raised by music videos of Pretty, skinny, ladylike women, Letting them define my worth Based on how I looked Hiding in the bathroom, Putting on my mom’s makeup to try And see if it makes me any prettier “I’m sorry I wasted all your mascara” Kind of excuses Letting Photoshopped girls and Ulta cosmetics Sell me endless face washes, makeup, shampoo, Promising it will fix what I see in the mirror “You just need this one product and your troubles will be gone” Kind of lies I was raised by the internet

Clay Emotion I by Dagny Mauro

Ghost House by Nancy Langston

The Road by Caroline Rivers

My Trust Lies With The Kids in My Generation Joelle Kernen The kids in my generation standing in line for hours at a time Just to have their voices heard. That’s who I trust. Not the old men with gray hair relaxing in their chairs, making decisions about my life without ever having lived it.

The kids in my generation sitting down in protest to a pledge which persecutes 30

anyone who isn’t perfect. That’s who I trust. Not the people promising protection from threats of their own design.

The kids in my generation who crunch in a corner of the classroom, wondering if the clicking of their keyboard saying “I love you” will get them killed. That's who I trust.

The kids in my generation, afraid to be themselves 31

because a man they never met has told them so. He's taped their mouths, tied their legs, and cuffed their arms. But still, they fight.

For justice. For hope. For love.

My trust lies with the kids in my generation.

Untitled I by Isabelle Grek 33

Mars Joelle Kernen I am stuck Like a shark Performing endless circles In a tank soon to crack It has not yet, But soon. We are destined to die, Always falling Through time and Infinite space. Always expanding, Yet forever dying Because of us. It is only us. No other home is Destined to be destroyed Because its inhabitants Did not care enough. Do not tell me to relax… It is your fault. I am preparing, for The long journey The voyage of generations. The trek to leave. Give me, Give us, 34

The new world. Full of peace, Full of life, Full of promises To change.

Untitled II by Isabelle Grek 36

Coffee Pot Ella McCall

My dad loved coffee. He loved the feeling of the caffeine coursing through his veins, the warmth of the cup in his hands, the laughter that followed him when he sat down every morning, the love that was built into every cup, he loved the memories the most. My mom hates coffee. She hates the sour smell, the bitter taste the brown stains the sound of the pot and the memories that seem to flow into every cup. My mom hates coffee because It’s a reminder. something gone something lost something nearly forgotten 37

She’d rather hate than remember. I can’t survive without coffee. Even if the smell drowns me The taste suffocates The warmth burns I can’t survive without coffee because I can’t survive without those memories. Memories of what I’ve lost. Memories of who I’ve lost. Losing them is worse than the pain the coffee pot brings So I will suffer If I can remember.

Shocked Clay Emotion by Dagny Mauro

Shattered Glass Memories Joelle Kernen

I stand before a glass pane blocking my path Through it I see a long, empty, hallway, full of nothing In my ghostly reflection I see myself as I currently stand: Not too tall, Yet small no longer I linger in my stare, carefully inspecting, no… reflecting, About my current self. Behind my silhouette I see my mother, father, sister, friends, And every other person my life has touched. My only actions which define me are my footsteps on other paths. My past does not define me, Yet it hinders my ability, To see, The path in front of me, And allow me To successfully Move on.

I smash the glass to bits.

Not out of self-hatred, but out of self-respect No great soul ever continues their path by standing still Shards of shattered glass display a beautiful array of memories before my eyes I see times of curiosity, times of euphoria, and times of misery. The flaming fractals fly to my frail face Each slice in my skin strikes a stabbing memory And every drop of blood a consequence I gather the smoothest shards, To remind me of what I love, Leaving the sharpest blades behind To be smashed under my step The only way to go is forward, Yet there stands a block in my route. One which cannot be torn Nor broken Nor sliced So I must return. I retrace my steps, and with every small movement, Follows a thought in my mind: 41

Looking back will only hurt The weakest souls are the ones who wait For the block to break All by itself So I continue, Not forwards, but in reverse. Finally I return to my past stop, But this time, not to stay. I come back with courage and strength To pick up the sharpest blade. She tears at my fingers, She spills all my blood, But yet I survive. I break the block. I drop the glass. For far too long have I looked back.

Time to move on I leave her on the ground, for the moment I might return, Though I pray I never will. For the length of the foggy hall, I continue on this way: 42

Go forward, Meet a block, Return, Go forward, Progress. Every so often I meet face to face, With a sheet of glass, Who hinders my pace. Yet every time, I have transformed. From each glass’s crack I carry a scar But I push along: For only the weak go back.

Shattered Clay Emotions by Dagny Mauro 44

Anhinga by Anna Brock

Bison by Caroline Rivers

Hummingbird by Caroline Rivers

Bird Portrait by Ella McCall

Folly Creek Penny Rose I live on the west side of Folly Creek There you will see the sunset perfectly aligning with the old wooden bridge There you will see the turtle pop their heads out of the water always the perfect chilled temperature for the kids on a hot day I live on the west side of Folly Creek There you will see the sunsets illuminating the rickety bridge There you will see the old cypress trees 49

Sharing the water with the kids who once were I live on the west side of Folly Creek There you will see The old bridge Where the kids once were There you will see the cypress trees Sharing the water With the kids who once were

Inertia by Nancy Langston 50

Bird Portrait by Giselle Thacker 51

Migration by Caroline Rivers

Boat by Caroline Rivers

Does Everything Happen for a Reason? Kaylee Knight The statement "everything happens for a reason" does not explain away randomness, but believing it does convert the way people choose to live. Events that happen whether it is a natural disaster, a death in your family, a new job opportunity, or a lucky number on a lottery ticket all have a reason. Usually when this statement is said, people go straight to negative situations; however, there is beauty in the end result. The way an individual's inner self advances from certain events over time allows them to 53

develop into a person who can see things from a more mature view on life. While some people may believe that certain events lack an obvious meaning, these experiences reveal their meaning over time because you develop into a more empathetic person, form resiliency, and develop wisdom. Studies indicate that empathy allows people to relate more effectively to others. Negative life experiences can often build empathy. The article The Evolution of Empathy, by Frans De Waal, implies that the progression history of humans shows a persistent tendency to feel the emotions of others. Empathy helps us understand someone else through a previous experience in life, and "empathy makes us reach out to others… by understanding their situation" (Waal). Having empathy allows you to connect with someone. It does not matter whether the situation is positive or negative; you can still empathize with people. It is the idea that even though bad things happen, you can look back on them positively in the future. Realizing that you went through a tough time in the past allows you to be helpful to others who are also going through a hard time as time goes on. A study of 889 employees done by Catalyst presented that empathy has constructive effects when receiving it. Empathizing with someone allows for a mutual connectedness to be evident: "Seventy-six percent of people who experienced empathy from their leaders reported they were engaged, compared with only 32% who experienced less empathy". This statistic proves that having the ability to be empathetic and being empathetic has positive results. Empathy provides for us in many ways: relationships, in the workforce, or when hearing about a tough situation a neighbor went through. Consequently, since negative life experiences can build someone into an empathetic person, those experiences help to mold a person. The way people 54

are, whether good or bad, they are the way they are because of the events that have happened in their life. Empathetic interactions help people develop into the person they are meant to be. Moreover, through negative life experiences, people form resiliency. Experts show resilience is the process of successfully adapting to challenging experiences. Michael Rutter, a psychiatrist, is known for studying resilience. He dives into the deeper aspect of resilience since most people overlook it. Rutter has published many books on the psychology of children but has been recognized as being the "father" of psychology. He has published one book, along with three other psychiatrists: Stress, Risk, and Resilience in Children and Adolescents. Rutter illustrates how resilience is formed from perspective, people around you, and how you are told to be from such a young age. Michael Rutter has said many famous quotes on the topic of resilience. Still, this quote stuck out the most to me, "Resilience is our ability to bounce back from life's challenges and unforeseen difficulties" (Michael Rutter). Believing that everything happens for a reason, while learning how to navigate through ups and downs confirms that resilience is formed because you have known to process through the perspective that certain things happen for an ultimate reason as you continue through life. Consequently, since difficult situations happen to people, they are forced to either give up or keep going; Resilience is formed by people who follow through, no matter the case. Therefore, challenging experiences lead to a resilient person that ultimately leads to the greater meaning of everything having a purpose, even if it is not sure why they happen. Furthermore, as time goes by, people adapt to situations that happen to them or people around them; studies have shown that the wisest people are not 55

necessarily the oldest, but they are the people who choose to change their perspective on negative life experiences. For instance, when certain events happen, whether positive or negative, you have to change your perspective to see the bigger picture. "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" (Wayne Dyer). Changing your view on anything in life allows for different results. When a challenging situation happens, people always try to see the bright side of it. Things happen, whether planned or not, and you have no control over them. The only thing in your possession is how you react to or approach the situation. This evidence supports the belief that everything happens for a reason since every experience has good and bad consequences. All it takes is a different perspective to change what you get out of a situation. Consequently, since difficult experiences are uncontrollable, the only thing in your control is your response to the situation, and these choices result in greater meaning over time. Therefore, these challenging experiences may have a vague purpose. Still, they prove more significant over time, since a change in perspective makes a difference when dealing with events in life. When you are in a situation, you choose how you are and how you continue to be. At that moment, you decide to accept you are where you are or accept it and keep working towards changing. Adjusting how you see situations, events, or just a person; could ultimately result in a more significant outcome than accepting where you are. Believing in this concept does not explain away randomness, but it can change how people choose to live. At the age of 10, my whole world flipped upside down on a Monday afternoon. I found out my mom was sick, and at that moment, I chose to grow up. I decided to sacrifice my time to be with my mom. I chose to see that when things go wrong, you can bounce back, whether big or small, heavy or 56

light. I decided who I surrounded myself with; I chose to realize you can choose who you want to be around. I decided who I was. If you choose to wake up and tell yourself today is going to be rough, your day will be rough. If you wake up and decide to tackle the day, you will succeed. This mindset helped me in the sense that if I never chose to be this way, I would not be where I am currently. During that time, however, it was challenging, but I knew that nothing easy comes quickly. I knew that future Kaylee would be proud to know I had a responsible mindset at such a young age. No matter where I was or what time it was, I chose to wake up every day to support the most important person in my life. Even in the darkest moments, being positive creates light. All it takes is one person to create or ruin an atmosphere; with me being positive, people around me follow. My immediate family, my mom's close friends, and the doctors who treated my mom; all became more and more positive because they recognized what I was trying to do. If you are surrounded by people telling you that you can do it, then you will want to prove them right. By taking this perspective, I pushed my mom to do the same. My mom survived. Events allow for greater meaning over time and character development in a person who goes through these events. Through difficult moments, people become empathetic, resilient, and wise. As someone who watched the person they love most in this world questions why what had happened to her happened, it allowed me to be someone who truly trusts the statement "everything happens for a reason." When bad things happen, you have two choices; you stop trying, or you choose to fight through it. Things go wrong, so you can learn to appreciate them when they go right. I decided to accept it and support my 57

mom through her bad days; I chose to see the good moments rather than focus on all the negative ones. The connection between the belief that everything has a reason, focusing on the good, and choosing to support oneself; would be that all of these things make or break someone. I firmly believe that when good things fall apart, better things can fall together. Periods of your life do not define you; the way you are afterward defines you. Not just in this situation but many other points in my life have caused me to acquire these traits. The statement, "Everything happens for a reason," is not a positive sentence, but the outcome is where beauty comes into play. Works Cited Beitman, Bernard D. “Does Everything Happen for a Reason?” Psychology Today, 2 February 2022.

The Outsiders: What About Sodapop? Lucy David

Although the novel The Outsiders is told from the perspective of Ponyboy, Pony’s brother Sodapop also lives in a world of chaos. His parents died in a car crash eight months ago. He is now legally in the custody of his older brother, which must be really weird. He walks by a Soc, so he could get beaten up. He dropped out of high school to work at a gas station for extra money so he can help support his family and so his younger brother Ponyboy can go to school. He is very good looking, so girls are constantly 58

swarming him. He is so sweet and kind, and he feels like he always has to be happy for everyone and listen to their problems, even though no one really listens to his--or even believes he has any. This passage is Sodapop’s cry for help. He says, “It’s like I’m the middleman in a tug of war and I’m being split in half, you dig?” (175). It’s very compelling to me that Sodapop is in the position of being the middleman and all that it entails, and it is compelling to me to think that he is rather a forgotten character until he stands up for himself and reminds the reader that we all have been taking him for granted. That we all have thought of him as being okay when he was most likely the character in the greatest pain of anyone. Unlike Johnny, who could voice his sadness and be listened to, or Dally who could punch it away, or Pony who could go into a world of imagination, Soda bore it alone and in sadness. It is those of us who are like Soda, who look the most together and successful, those of us who put on the happiest face to the world, who could be in the most pain and feel the most alone because nobody feels we could possibly be in pain or could possibly need help. The middle of the passage that I chose shows the moment that Darry and Pony realize that Soda has feelings that are just as valid and real as theirs. I believe that it was no accident that S.E. Hinton named him Sodapop. He is always bubbly and happy and carefree and seems to have no problems. He is movie-star handsome, has a great job and is so much fun. He makes green pancakes. But being happy and there for your friends and family all the time can take its toll. Being so upbeat can make it so that people don’t 59

even think you have any problems. Ponyboy finally gets this when he says, “But when I looked at Soda I stopped. His face was white, and when he looked at me his eyes were wide with a pained expression…… Darry picked up the envelope that Soda had dropped. ‘It’s the letter he wrote to Sandy’, Darry said without expression. ‘Returned unopened’, So that was what had been bugging Soda all afternoon. And I hadn’t even bothered to find out. And while I was thinking about it, I realized that I had never paid much attention to Soda’s problems. Darry and I just took it for granted that he didn’t have any.” (pg. 174). I think the imagery of the letter Soda wrote to Sandy being “returned unopened” is so interesting because it is a letter to her about how he feels about her,and she doesn’t even pretend to look at it. The phrase also symbolizes how it is for Soda with everyone whenever he tries to say his feelings. No one bothers to even pretend to listen to him. Later in that passage, Darry says to Pony, “I thought he told you everything.” “Maybe he tried,” I said. How many times had Soda started to tell me something, only to find I was daydreaming or stuck in a book. He had always listened to me no matter what I was doing.” (pg 174). Pony figuratively returns the envelope unopened every time Soda tries to tell him anything. Later in the passage, Soda finally stands up for himself. He opens up and is listened to by the two most important people in his life, Darry and Pony. Soda says, 60

‘I can’t stand to hear y’all fight…. . It’s like the middleman in a tug o’ war and I’m being split in half, you dig’ Darry gave me a startled look. Neither of us had realized what it was doing to Soda to see us fight. I was sick and cold with shame. What he said was the truth. Darry and I did play tug of war with him with never a thought of how much it was hurting him. Soda was fiddling with some dead grass. ‘I mean, I can’t take sides. It would be a lot easier if I could. But I see both sides.’(175) First of all, Sodapop doesn’t get enough credit for being a great therapist. Soda says he feels like he is in a tug of war. That is compelling imagery. In a tug of war, the rope has to go wherever the most force is and no one cares if the rope gets torn in half as long as they win. Soda is the rope here. He doesn’t know if anyone would care if he got torn in half because they are so busy with their own problems it feels like nobody cares. Finally, I believe that S.E. Hinton made Soda so good looking because it goes more to the idea that Soda doesn’t seem to have problems. Good looking people don’t have as many problems as average looking people do. Soda is very necessary to the story because he is the one who gives advice to Pony and the one who Pony can be totally honest with. He is the fun and lightness in the novel and eventually holds the reader to account when we don’t take his pain seriously enough. How many times have we all seen somebody who is good looking and has a great job and a seemingly perfect life and thought, “They have no problems. What kind of problems could they possibly have? Soda reminds us all that everyone is a vulnerable 61

human being and that everyone has problems whether it seems so or not. As my Mom was reading over this paper, she reminded me that my Grandpa John says that “the only thing in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead armadillos.” That perfectly describes the tug of war that Soda is in but it also describes the world we are in today. In this world, where we can get into online arguments over a topping on pizza that generate pages and pages of insulting comments, we need to stop and think that the person on the other side of the posts has actual feelings. When you’re a person who sees both sides, who understands why you would like that topping but also why you wouldn’t like it, you can get eaten alive in this world. Everyone is arguing so much, and it tears apart the people like me. The people like Sodapop, who do see both sides – who are told that if they don’t dig in their heels and say their opinion and fight, they don’t care. Instead, maybe the people who see both sides are the smartest and the wisest and maybe they are actually the ones who ultimately care the most.

Liberty by Natalie Cina

Liberty Natalie Cina My poem “Liberty” expresses the personal freedom against obstacles, including the mental obstacles Veda overcomes in this book, A Time to Dance. The title Liberty emphasizes what freedom means to those who are fighters in life and the peace of when they finally know what liberty means. I have used lines and words from chapters Acting Anger, Touch Lost, and Back When. These poems share ideas. In Touch Lost, she explains how she can't have a touchpoint 63

with the world because of her missing limb. She puts on a smile for others but internally feels like something is missing. Back When illustrates her determination and perseverance when she was smaller to achieve her dream. In Acting Anger, Veda fights for her own inner peace by not letting other people define her or discriminate against her. These three poems act like different steps to develop the idea of my poem. In my poem, she first balances on one leg, a single and clear point where she touches. She must overcome her difficulties (symbolized through her bruised skin). Doing this makes her even stronger and gives her inner freedom of passion and acknowledgement of who she is. The poem is reflecting the plot of A Time to Dance. Veda starts out determined and unshakeable. She then faces difficulties she must overcome, like losing her leg and learning to dance again. She begins working towards her goal, making progress, along the way finding out who she is. She finds a sense of inner peace and establishes faith in Shiva Nataraja, the Lord of Dance, once again. The illustrations around the poem all represent an aspect of this theme. The winding river represents the flowing path to fighting for your passion and setting yourself free. The torch represents how you must be your own light and power, guiding your own journey. The green plant symbolizes personal growth as a result of this journey. This idea explains to everyone who has something worth fighting for the difficulties they will face but also the result of strength and personal liberty.

The Stolen Night Anonymous Note to Reader: This is a story on the Vermeer art heist of 1990 from the perspective of one of the robbers. It was a frigid January night when I received the letter, and this whole crisis started. I was sitting down with warm soup when I received the letter. The letter stated: I have been working on this plan for months, but I need your help. You have been recruited to help me with the biggest robbery in the world. I need you to help me steal some art from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. There are 13 things I want to be stolen. The heist will occur at precisely 1:24 in the morning on March 18th. You will have a partner in this robbery. If you turn this letter over to the authorities, I will come for both of you. There are two objects and eleven paintings. If you can not get the things needed, you will be jeopardizing everything you hold dearly. If you complete this, you will be awarded a cash prize of 100,000 dollars. Please send a letter to the return address to tell me if you will accept. It wasn’t signed, so I hesitated for a minute, but the cash prize dragged me in like a fish on a reel. So there I was, hearing the parties drag on outside as I changed into my disguise. I heard my partner, Marco, honk for me to come outside. I dashed outside and ran into the car. “You ready?” Marco sighed, “We’ve been preparing for this.” “I’m not sure… what if we get caught?!” I was worried.

“You shouldn’t be worried!” he growled in his harsh voice, “ Unless you want something to happen to us.” “Okay, but you’re going to regret it!” I replied hesitantly. “I never regret anything,” Marco smirked. We drove off at just over 45 mph. We were there pressing the buzzer. “This is the police: you are under arrest!” Marco bellowed, “Come here right now with your hands behind your back.” “O-okay…” The frightened night guard said as he left his desk. I quickly tied him up as the other guard ran to the desk. “What is going on down here?” The guard asked. “You two are under arrest!” I yelped, “ Put your hands behind your back.” I quickly tied him up and brought them to the basement. We ran up the stairs as the plan was getting started. I ran to the room of the Vermeer work and quickly cut it out of its frame. It felt so amazing and priceless to bring one of the 36 Vermeer paintings into my hands. Marco got the two other big paintings in the room. I ran to the next room and tried to get the flag out of its frame, but I could only get the golden eagle on the side. I ran down the steps to grab the big paintings from downstairs by Rembrandt of his mother, but it wasn’t there, so I grabbed his self-portrait. “Should I grab the bronze beaker?” Marco yelled at me. “Yes, good idea!” I yelled to him as I grabbed “A Lady and a Gentleman in Black” and cut it from its frame. I ran to the other side of the room to grab “The Storm on the Sea of Galilee” and quickly cut it out of its frame. The only painting by Rembrandt of the ocean is in my hands. I drag my fingers slowly across the painting in awe. “I need a little help up here!” Marco yelled down to me, breaking me out of my daze. 66

“Coming!” I yelled. I dashed up the stairs to see Marco trying to get out from a pile of paintings consisting of Rembrandts, Govaert Flinck, and Vermeer’s piece of art on top. I picked up the paintings one by one and then pulled him up. We ran down the stairs as fast as our legs would take us; we had to get out fast. It was almost morning. We jumped into the car and drove quickly down the street with the paintings and objects in the back. We were driving for hours to get to the house in the country. “ I can’t believe we’ve done it!” Marco exclaimed, “That was epic!” “Sure was!” I stated. We stopped at the house in New York. Marco and I ran in with some of the paintings. Quickly fumbling for my key, I ran and put the code in for the secret door. The door swung open, and I ran in and down the sets of stairs. After five sets I put the paintings in the closet. “How about we check out this house?” Marco asked, “ Anyways, we’ll be hiding here for who knows how long.” “True” I hesitated, “But shouldn’t we put the paintings in their places?” “I guess we should,” Marco sighed, “I’ll get the locks.” “I’ll get the frames,” I replied drowsily, putting the paintings inside the frames felt so complete. The next morning I woke up, holding a painting in a chair and Marco was asleep on the floor. I went upstairs to get a glass of water and in the cupboard, there was a note like the one that came to me two months ago. We finally accomplished what we had to do. The note read: Thank you. Now I know your loyalty to me. Here is your cash prize. Sure enough, he was true to his word! There was 200,000 dollars total in the envelope. “Wow!” I thought to myself. I went downstairs to show Marco the letter. He was just as surprised as I was. 67

“He said he would, and he did…” Marco whispered. My life has changed since then. Marco moved and took the paintings with him. I moved back to Boston and became a regular Joe in the neighborhood. I became a substitute teacher at the elementary school nearby. I’m now fifty-four years old. During the heist, I was only twenty-two, and now I regret helping that man steal those paintings and would return them if Marco didn’t have them in his possession. I called him once to see if I could have at least one piece to return, but he replied no and said that he burned most of them because the boss only wanted us to steal them. Life after the robbery was different than I expected. I thought I’d be pretty rich. However, I’m just a regular Joe living in an apartment. I feel terrible for the havoc we caused. The search for the paintings started decades ago and is still going. However, our boss never asked what happened to the art pieces.

Romeo and Juliet: Rebellion for Love Lucy David We live in a culture where women have fought for a century to rebel against the cultural expectations they had of them. We can now marry who we want to marry and do the jobs we want to do and act the way we want to act. But 68

in the culture of the 1500s when Romeo and Juliet was set, the simple act of falling in love with and marrying the person we wanted to marry was an act of rebellion. In the play, Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare, written in the late 1500s and set in Verona, Italy, the women in Acts 1 and 2 are portrayed as very conformist; they are both in line and knowing the rules of their society, and their places in their society. The main role a woman has is to be a housewife and to stay at home. This is shown in women in the higher class such as Lady Capulet, Lady Montague, and in women in the lower class such as Nurse. Each woman knows her role and her place in society. Juliet, however, is very different from the perfect 13-year-old that Lady Capulet thinks she is. She has many expectations placed on her, but through the play she tears them all down. We know that Shakespeare had a wife and two daughters, and he seemed to know how real women think and act. He writes it better than any other playwright. Juliet meets Romeo, and they have a secret love. She is also rebellious, as she finds love with Romeo, not Paris. Juliet is a strong thirteen-year-old girl who has many expectations thrown at her from all directions and who fights with all her strength and all she has for love. Juliet is shown to be different from her mother and her ideals in the first scene she is in. She is called by her mother and Nurse to talk about her getting married to Paris, a relative of the prince. She claims in Act 1.3 line 68, “it is an honor that I dream not of.” Remember, she is saying this to her mother. Has Juliet really not dreamed of marriage? Most likely not, but she is saying what her mother wants to hear. She has to learn how to survive with her mother. She says what the idea is. How can a girl her age not at least wonder about marriage? The only logical answer is that she is saying what her mother wants to hear. 69

But inside I think she has a fire, one that is not shown very often: at least not around her family. I truly believe that she is not telling the truth. This shows the pressure that is put on her to be perfect. The expectation of perfection: this is the perfect setup to make someone a rebel. Later that night, that is what Juliet does: rebel. Romeo sees her and talks to her. They kiss after reciting a sonnet. After the party she finds out she is in love with a Montague, but does she care? No. Of course not. This leads to the famous balcony scene, when Juliet is on the balcony and talks to herself about Romeo. She has no idea he is listening, but this tells Romeo that Juliet loves him. When she finds out he is there, she does not freak out. Instead, she lets him be very close to her bedroom. Yes, she does have fear for his life, but she lets him stay. They get married the next day. The fact that she lets that happen shows how rebellious she is against the normal arranged marriage that is the expectation of the women of her class and time. Juliet wants to fall in love, not be arranged to live with somebody she doesn’t know or barely knows. It takes bravery and strength to rebel, especially when we are going against our families. And this rebellion takes a lot of bravery not to crumble Not to fold. But she does it for her love of Romeo. It is clear she is not rebelling for the sake of rebelling. Juliet is rebelling for love. Some people may say that she is being a dumb child, but I think this shows how strong she is and that this strength is what shapes her character. Spectacle is what we see on stage when a play is being performed. For spectacle, I looked at a scene where the spectacle is to not have much spectacle, to not look like anything special. I am looking at act 2.6 This is the scene that shows the marriage of Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare’s 70

plays all are five-act plays and every act typically has 5 scenes. It may be telling that unlike what he usually does, Shakespeare makes the marriage scene a sixth scene. I think this is to show how fast the heart moves when we are in love. Just like iambic pentameter, which goes like a heartbeat: da dum da dum, I think the fact that this is a sixth scene helps with the romantic and fast pace that Romeo and Juliet fall in love. The scene in the movie starts with Friar Lawrence locking the nearly empty church door. Only he and Romeo are in the church. He did not lock the main entrance but the door nearest to the place where the ceremony will take place. He says a short prayer and has a quick conversation with Romeo. Friar Lawrence does not have his best clothes on. In fact, it looks like he is wearing a brown robe of some kind (in contrast to the beautiful ceremonial robe he probably usually wears when he is marrying someone of their stature). It looks like Romeo is in old and worn-out church clothes. The church is deserted. Juliet runs in, wearing what looks like an old dress that was her mother’s. The dress is a purple-pink color. I think this symbolizes the union of the Capulets who wear red, orange, and yellow shades, and the Montagues who wear blues, blacks, and purples. The dress looks like it is a couple of sizes too big for Juliet (which is why I think it might be her mother’s) but this might also be to symbolize the fact Juliet is in a situation way over her head, almost like she is drowning in the situation. She is too young to get married, let alone choose who she wants to marry. Romeo and Juliet run to each other and kiss each other. The Friar pulls them apart and won’t let them kiss before they get married. The ceremony is small, only them and Friar Lawrence, with no decorations and no spectacle. I think this lack of spectacle symbolizes how different Juliet is from her mother. Lady Capulet thinks Juliet’s wedding will be this big deal, a huge 71

celebration of the union of Juliet and Paris. In her mind, she will make it a party that will go down in history. How it actually plays out is a Friar who is a bit creepy looking that Romeo has a ton of trust in, wedding them in a practically deserted church, behind her mother’s back. Not only that but the boy she is marrying is a Montague. Well, they get married, the music picks up, and it sounds like (remember I am Jewish) pretty typical church music. This scene illustrates how rebellious she is. She throws all of her family’s expectations of her and the life she was expected to live for Romeo. She basically spat at her family’s culture and ideals at that wedding and was willing to do so, just to marry Romeo. Juliet fights a rebellion in her own culture for love. She got to marry Romeo. She got to defy her culture and fall in love. Today, marrying someone you really love or not marrying anybody at all is generally OK in our culture. Rebellious girls and women are not unusual in our culture. But in the culture of the very upper classes, like royalty or the children of presidents there are definitely ways that we still have to behave. Although it looks like it would be nice to live with that sort of money and that sort of fame, think about how hard it would be to live with such strict cultural restraints. If we wanted to rebel, how could we bring ourselves to do it? Juliet found the strength. She found a hill to die on and is willing to die on the hill of Romeo’s love. All women, like me, who try to break down our family’s expectations, have to find strength, just like Juliet did.

Lucy David 73

Longing-Blackout Poetry Lucy David My poem explores the idea of hope, and how hope is something that is learned and can even be forgotten in our darkest moments. I wanted to write about how hope still longs for us in the hardest times to come back, and we want to also. I used lines from the poems far from the envying circle but mostly to dance again and in my own words. I think the phrase “I want to relearn hope as hope wants me to open up and relearn” captured the idea that I had, about hope. A huge theme in A Time to Dance is hope and resilience. My poem is a representation of how it feels to be in a situation like Veda is in, one that feels hopeless. And all that you want is to have more hope, but that is all that hope wants too. I drew a purple, blue, and teal background to my poem. I chose to do the abstract drawing because the concept I am tackling is very abstract. It is not as simple as if my poem said, “I walk down a road.’

A Man Reborn Helen Kourtidis The Renaissance was a time of significant change and reform, when humanity began reconsidering their society, their religion, and what it meant to be a man. Italy spearheaded this movement, and the rest of Western Europe followed; each philosopher, scholar, and politician was prepared to voice their opinions on a man’s virtue. Slowly, but clearly, the way society viewed a man shifted drastically, with each new writing and idea. The Renaissance changed how men viewed themselves and their 74

learning by placing them in the center of their world and allowing them to seek knowledge and answers on their own. One of the greatest developments that shaped the Renaissance was the rise of humanism and the metaphorical placing of humanity at the center of the world. In the Oration on the Dignity of Men, Pico Della Mirandola shares his humanist ideals. He declares that “there are no limits to what man can accomplish” and places humans “somewhere between the beasts and the angels” (Mirandola). He furthermore describes how humanity is unique because we are full of potential- a human can be saintly like an angel or mindless like a beast, and no other being in creation has such capacity for both good and evil. Mirandola expresses his admiration for humankind and urges the reader to use the potential he holds to reach as high as a man can go. Nearly 200 years later, William Shakespeare enthusiastically concurs in Hamlet, exclaiming that men are “in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god!” (Shakespeare) He praises mankind’s nobility, form, and motion, claiming humans to be “The beauty of the world” (Shakespeare). This adoration and appreciation for humanity is the central theme of humanism and of the Renaissance. The Middle Ages consisted of adamant ideas that one’s life in this world only serves as a test for whether one may go to heaven. Importance was placed on piety more than anything else, and any sense of self-importance was viewed as sinful. The message Mirandola and other humanists wished to pass was that there is something remarkable that separates humans from the rest of the natural world. This message spread through Europe, with dozens of authors lauding humanity’s strength, potential, personality, and agility of mind. 75

Education and intelligence found their rightful place in the Renaissance, as men began to realize how much more one can accomplish with a proper pedagogy. While previously any education was reserved for the clergy, the Renaissance brought opinions not only that men should learn, but also concerning what they should learn. The humanist Alberti wrote in Self Portrait of a Universal Man every quality he found a Renaissance man should possess. Alberti did so by describing a man who taught himself nearly every study that exists: he included physical activity, music, literature, law, physics, and mathematics, insisting that “men can do anything with themselves if they will” (Alberti). Furthermore, the Letter to Boccaccio, by Francesco Petrarch, emphasizes how crucial it is for men to read literature, for “in a good mind it excites the love of virtue, and dissipates, or at least diminishes, the fear of death” (Petrarch). Finally, Dante writes in The Inferno that men were meant to live “for the pursuit of knowledge and the good” (Dante). And thus, the idea of a well-rounded man emerged in this time period. In the Middle Ages, the roles of society were set and nearly impossible to escape. One was either a serf, a peasant, or a noble, and one had to focus on survival. But as towns began to grow and commerce allowed some people to climb society’s ranks, it became more difficult to hold one’s position. Therefore, a Renaissance man must know the workings of society; understand the law for political struggles, literature for the broadening of one’s mind, perform physical activity for bodily health, and admire the arts for their social image. As much support as the Renaissance gained, it faced backlash and criticism, as any change does. In Italy, one man’s hatred of the changing times lifted him to a place of temporary –yet formidable– power. Girolamo Savonarola, a Dominican monk, believed that the Renaissance was 76

sending Italy on a path to Hell. He urged the Florentines to end the sinful Renaissance, repent, and return to God, warning: “If you obey not my words, you will go to hell, and this letter will be brought up against you before the judgment-seat of God, and leave you no way of escape” (Savonarola). The leadership he eventually gained led to the burning of books, art, clothing, and other creations of the Renaissance. Savonarola’s ideals were a continuation of what had existed for centuries in the earlier Middle Ages, and one can certainly make a claim for his statement’s faultlessness when looking at how much support he had gotten from the people of Florence. However, once humanity has had a taste of freedom of mind, body, and creativity, it takes more than a Dominican monk to bring them backward. When Florence’s citizens became tired of Savonarola and overthrew him, they realized what we must do too: that the books of the Renaissance don’t send us down a dark path, but rather open our minds to endless possibilities. The enjoyment of art doesn’t tie us to earthly desires, but it gives us a glimpse of the amazing, magical feats humanity is capable of. While before medieval men were pious and focused on heaven, humanists now were educated and became enthralled with their own abilities. When before they cared only for their afterlife, they now put all their effort into accomplishing great things on earth. As much as humans may want a simple, stationary life, we cannot thrive without a goal and a medium for creativity. It is in our nature to inquire, to try to understand, and to want to master a skill; if we can’t make art, we want to see it, and if we can’t play music, we need to hear it. It is these great things that humans desire to know and only these that we remember; there are few people who can name art or places from the Middle Ages, but the Renaissance produced some of the 77

most well-known works in history. Humans are naturally drawn to all these kinds of beauty, and every time it is stifled it will eventually be Reborn. Works Cited Alberti, Leon Battista, Self Portrait of a Universal Man, 1883 Dante, Inferno, Canto XXVI, lines 114-15, Mirandola, Pico della, Oration on The Dignity on Men, 1486 Petrarch, Francesco, Letter to Boccaccio, 1366 Savonarola, Girolamo Shakespeare, William, Hamlet 2.2, 1601

Free Mille Heyward This poem signifies the point of being free! Being in the state of freedom, with things that make us feel this way. I selected the title “Free” because of how it ended up towards the end of my poem and how much my poem related to it. I have three parts in my poem that relate to my idea. “Free”, “Arms free to swing”, “Crutch-free”. These sentences can be related to anyone, not just someone that has a physically broken part. It could also relate to someone who was mentally broken and felt locked up! But it is now free. Veda’s foot is broken, but you can tell that this is also mentally affecting her. In my piece, I have my actual poem in a lower case “f” shape for FREE! I also outlined it, I have three extra letters and drawings. I drew crutches, eyes, and hands to symbolize the state of someone being free, but admired. Someone is free of judgment and grief in this case, but has ideas and hope of being admired in a way she was never before.

Mountain by Caroline Rivers

McBee Grave~ Magnolia Cemetery~Jan 17, 2023 Emmad Soltan

I visited Miss McBee’s grave after reading the Ashley Hall 2003 Book by Ashley Hall graduate Ileana Strauch ‘03. I had lots of imagination moments as I connected to these 80

black and white pictures and our beautiful campus. It is fascinating. I really wanted to visit Miss McBee’s grave to continue the inspiration this book gave me. I was surprised to see that two Ashley Hall teachers are buried next to Miss McBee. I was also surprised to see how humble these grave stones are compared to other glorified stones around. With lots of love and appreciation for our founder, Miss Mary Vardine McBee (Sep 24, 1879 - Oct 5, 1965) and her dedicated sister and assistant Emma Estelle McBee (Jul 9, 1878 - Apr 4, 1964).

Gate: New Beginnings by Anna Brock

We welcome the following new Cerberus staff members: Tessa DeHaan ‘28 Savvy Lewis ‘26 Ella McCall ‘26 Giselle Thacker ‘26