Beyond the Clouds

Words by Jasyjot Singh Khanduja

‘Why do you trust me, when the only thing I know for certain is uncertainty?’ he asked.

‘Because uncertainty has endless possibilities.’ she replied.

Jesse never believed in love at first sight. In fact, he found it hard to wrap his head around the very concept of love. Beauty was mathematical. It was symmetry and he could see it quite acutely. But he couldn’t understand it as a deciding factor for feelings of affection. Jesse understood science, the complexities of DNA, the difference between ionic and covalent bonds, he loved maths - everything from matrices to differential calculus... humans, however, confused him. They were dynamic; he had to simultaneously think about too many variables when conversing with them. Although people bamboozled Jesse, he nevertheless enjoyed observing their behaviour and listening to their conversations. It was a source of constant amusement.

People’s emotional state fluctuates daily and that leaves others with the difficult, and sometimes awkward task, of judging another’s facial expressions and body language, to figure out how best to interact with them. Humans don’t always get it right. And that’s where the entertainment lies. He was content with being alone. Observing from the outside. ‘This narcissistic assumption that we are unique… doesn’t that make us all the same? Aren’t we all alike in this need to be different?’ he asked.

‘Perhaps we are, why does it matter?’ she asked.

‘When people realise that personalities are superficial and just a product of consequence, that we are all the same as individuals, wouldn’t that offer us endless possibilities?’ he asked.

‘Knowing that, don’t you feel different from others?’ she replied.

‘Stunned he said...’I’ll have to think on that.

Samaira had curly black hair, deep brown eyes and moved her lips to the right when she spoke. She loved philosophy; and could talk about theories of Descartes to Nietzsche like it was her first language.

‘Introduction to Philosophy, a onehour session.’ it read on the university noticeboard and Samaira didn’t need further persuasion to attend.

‘How can we define reality?’ the presenter asked.

The presenter nodded in agreement. ‘Anyone else?’ she asked.

‘It’s a figment of our imagination.’ said Samaira.

Jesse turned to his left to look at her. ‘Everyone perceives the world differently; our senses can’t be trusted.’ she added.

Jesse had to catch up to Samaira as she walked briskly towards the bus stop.

‘That was quite interesting, what you said back there.’ Jesse said, trying to keep up with Samaira’s pace.

‘Thanks!’ she replied. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Jesse.’

‘What does it mean?’

‘It means king, but I think that’s a bit narcissistic.’ he smirked.

‘Isn’t everyone narcissistic?’ she mused.

‘What does your name mean?’ he asked. ‘Companion.’

Jesse slowed his pace and looked at her. Her hair bounced on her shoulders with every step she took, the sunlight washed half her face and made her scrunch her ski slope nose.

‘Would you like to come out for dinner with me?’ he asked.

‘You do eat, don’t you?’ he asked after 5 seconds of silence. ‘Sure, we’ll eat dinner.’

Jesse looked at the wooden light pendants that spread warm white light across the restaurant. His gaze travelled down to the pale brown wooden table and then to the live band that played every Saturday night.

‘Just give me one thing / That I can hold on to / To believe in this livin’/ Is a hard way to go…’

The song faded.

Samaira entered and looked for Jesse. He waved her over to the corner table lined against the bay windows. It was a cloudy night and a crescent moon could be seen for a few moments before being covered by the clouds again.

Jesse noticed Samaira’s hair falling on her face as she sat down, quickly brushing the loose strands behind her ear.

‘I love that song.’ she said as she adjusted her chair.

‘Remind you of simpler times?’ he asked. ‘No such thing.’ she said.

‘How come?’

‘They’re only simpler in hindsight, like these will be the simpler times in the future.’

‘Would you choose to live a brief moment of perfect happiness if you knew it would lead to perpetual sorrow?’ he asked

‘Yes.’ she said, unhesitant.

‘Would you live through perpetual sorrow if you knew it would one day lead to a brief moment of perfect happiness?’ she asked.

The clouds floated along and they caught a glimpse of the boat shaped crescent moon.

‘The moon looks beautiful tonight.’ said Samaira.

‘Yes, it does indeed.’ said Jesse.