On Dit 84.5 - Elle Dit by On Dit

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- issue 84.5 - elle dit

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Editorial Correspondence Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Presidents Reports Vox Pop Articles Artist Profile Creative Reviews Diversions

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On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union. We recognise that the Kaurna people are the landowners and custodians of the Adelaide Plains. Ngaldu tampinthi Kaurna miyurna yarta mathanya Wama Tarntanyaku. Editors: Lur Alghurabi, Natalie Carfora, and Celia Clennett Sub-Editors: Karolinka Dawidziak-Pacek, Grace Denney, Brydie Kosmina, and Seamus Mullins Designers: Chelsea Allen, Anna Bailes, Daniel Bonato, and Georgia Diment Social Media: Nicole Wedding Absolute Gem: Carina Stathis Front Cover: Deanna Varkanis Inside Front Cover: Anzelle de Kock Inside Back Cover: Anonymous

EDI TOR IAL

Hey you,

Hello friend,

Hello,

I was in the second grade when I first noticed that men and women weren’t treated equally. The boys at the back of my class would talk during a lesson and crack jokes and my teacher would turn a blind eye. But if I slipped a note to my friend, I would get told off. So one day I decided to take things into my own hands and I moved seats to join the boys at the back. I tied my hair, rolled up my sleeves, and I changed my voice. My teacher asked me to move back, and I said, ‘No, I’m a boy now and I do what I like.’

I am not gonna lie, I agonised over this editorial. I don’t think I can really put what I want to say into words. How do you explain the feeling I had as a child when my grandfather would treat my brother so differently to me? What do you say to the 11 year old who starts getting beeped at when she’s walking down the street? What about when I used to watch Everybody Loves Raymond after school and I just didn’t understand why Marie was always cooking/cleaning for her adult sons and husband and Debra just sucked?

Elle Dit has been a traditional edition for many years. What I love most about these themed issues is that they give us an excuse to delve into specific topics. When you pick up a themed magazine, you should know what you’re in for. For me Elle Dit isn’t simply about female empowerment, it provides a detailed look into all topics female.

One thing that hasn’t changed since then is that boys are still able to get away with a lot, often times at the expense of girls. One thing that has changed since then is that I’ve started to say, ‘I am a woman now and I do what I like.’

I don’t have the answers to these questions. But I am grateful for my all girls high school and for all of the positive female role models I had growing up. I am grateful for Elle Dit and the space to talk about what it means to be a woman, because there is so much more to be said.

Do your thing,

Let’s talk about it,

Just do it,

Lur

Nat

Celia

I slowly learned about gender division as I grew up. My old gym teacher used to divide the class up by gender to decide who could take a break first. This left an inevitable jealousy regardless of gender. I’ve always loved games, but a friend of mine once said to me, ‘You’re strange, you play games and you’re a girl.’ I began to realise then that gender barriers waste energy and sometimes we should all just enjoy the game.

CORRESPONDENCE Hi On Dit,

On the new On Dit office:

I told one of my friends about contributing to Elle Dit and the first thing he said was ‘Where’s the men’s issue?’ He also mentioned that the male gender is the more oppressed due to ‘mad witches’ and Clementine Ford. Should I stop being friends with him?

‘Remembering when @OnDitMagazine was buried in a lightless, airless basement, Stan of @format_adelaide asleep in the corner. Dickensian.’ - @driantoware, Twitter.

- Confused Dear Confused, You can tell your friend that due to the fact that we’ve killed all men at the beginning of the semester, Il Dit is now technically and practically impossibe. It breaks our hearts. Really does. - The Eds

‘Oh no. If you ask me, student papers don’t belong anywhere except dingy basements adjacent to toilets.’ - @CaseyBriggs, Twitter. ‘Hope you’ll still keep On Dit’s basementdweller attitude.’ - Thomas Diment, Facebook. ‘You could literally sleep in here. Why aren’y you sleeping in here?’ - 2015 Editors.

WHAT’S ON

UNI RELATED

DO YOU LIKE SCIENCE?

AUU Member’s Crafternoon Every Tuesday in May 3pm Book online, spaces fill quickly!

Research Tuesdays: Heart Breaks 10th May 5.30pm - 6.30pm The Braggs Lecture Theatre OR DO YOU JUST LOVE DOGS 2016 Voiceless Animal Law Lecture Series 12th May 6:30pm - 8pm Law Lecture Theatre 2, Ligertwood

Film Club Every Thursday night 7pm in Union Cinema $3 for Non-Members AUMA Pub Crawl: Lee Lin Gin 20th May 7pm Meet at UniBar $25 Shirts

Week 9: Moon Week 10: Clueless/Legally Blonde double feature DO YOU LIKE US? Issue 7 (Pop Culture) submission deadline 8th July

Million Paws Walk 15th May 8am-2pm bonython park

ARE YOU A BIT OF A KNOW IT ALL? DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S ON BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE? KEEP US IN THE LOOP, EMAIL US AT ONDIT@ADEL AIDE.EDU.AU AND TELL US ABOUT THE NEXT BAKE SALE, MEETING, PRIVATE LECTURE OR CLUB EVENT.

GOT CULTURE?

LET’S WRITE

ARTS

History Festival 1st - 31st May 3:30pm - 8pm Get your history fix at heritage sites across the city. For more details see www.historyfestival.sa.gov.au

Lifted Brow Prize for Experimental Non-Fiction Blow the Lifted Brow away with something unlike they’ve ever read before. Deadline: 29th May

Art History Club Art Class: Calligraphy and Pizza 13th May 6:30pm Lady Symons Club Room

Adelaide Chamber Orchestra present: Beethoven and Mozart V 10th May 7:30pm Adelaide Town Hall University of Adelaide Theatre Guild presents: The Two Gentlemen of Verona ]10th-14th, 17th-21st May 7:30pm Little Theatre at the Cloisters $28 Adult / $23 Concession The Confucius Institute Presents: Gifts from China 11th May 6:15pm - 8:00pm Napier 102 UofA’s Nick Jose discusses China’s contribution to our ‘shared humanity’ in terms of ideas, art and values, in an Australian context and in his own life as a writer.

Adelaide Transitions Film Festival 20th - 29th May Mercury Cinema The 2016 Festival is showcasing movies about social and technologieal innovations, revoutionary ideas, and change.

SA Writers Centre Workshops Weaving Fact into Creative Non-Fiction 15th May 2pm - 5pm Short Stories 101 21st May 10am-1pm Members: $60 Non-Members: $90

SAY HELLO! Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Facebook: @onditmagazine Twitter: @onditmagazine Instagram: @onditmag In Person: in our brand new, sunshine-filled office at Level 4 Union House. Come say hi now that we no longer live like vampires.

STATE OF THE UNION

Welcome to Elle Dit! I hope you enjoy this unique edition, which celebrates the work of women at our university. I am a current board director of the Adelaide University Union, having previously sat on the SRC, along with various university committees, and I’m currently in my fourth year of Law/Arts. Adelaide University has a tradition of producing strong female leaders, with Julia Gillard, Natasha Stott Despoja, Sarah Hanson-Young, and Penny Wong amongst the alumni who began their careers in student politics. Evidence shows that female politicians are not yet treated the same as their male counterparts, and the critique of female politicians so often is centred on a genderedcritique rather than one of their policy, skill, or tact. It is my greatest hope that women currently involved in student politics do not enter parliament in the future with a gendered cloud over their head like these women have had to. The Union today is certainly not short of exceptional female leaders – several of the past Union and SRC presidents have been female, the Union’s general manager is female, and of course we have our three wonderful On Dit editors this year.

My experience as a student, and in student politics has been largely positive, and for that I am eternally grateful. Student politics builds resilience more than I could ever have imagined, and my gender hasn’t been problematic or disadvantageous for me. I’m not naïve enough to think that my positive experience reflects the experiences of other female student politicians. I know that when I enter the full-time workforce my pay will more than likely be substantially less than that of my male colleagues – a sobering thought. Further, gender-based violence is one of the most significant issues in Australia and we have miles to go in raising awareness and developing strategies to combat this devastating issue. The prevalence of rape, sexual assault and harassment is a serious issue for Australia, and it has been pleasing to see our university roll out the Respect. Now. Always. Campaign in a bid to address this epidemic. Change on our campus doesn’t need to come from student politicians, the same as it doesn’t need to come from Parliament to change our broader society. To those on campus who

call out sexist comments, refuse to indulge in victim blaming and those who shut down slurs about rape and sexual harassment, thank you. Possibly the most significant change we can all make is to call out these behaviours. There is no place for them, regardless of the setting, and stopping these behaviours in our friendship groups and communities is important to ensure they are prevented from contributing to the broader problems associated with gender-based violence. The Adelaide University Union, Student Representative Council, and the University provide a number of wonderful services for women (and all students) on campus and I encourage you all to use the Women’s Room, the Women’s Officer, and to join the ‘Adelaide University Women’s’ Collective’ group on Facebook. If you need to talk to someone about something which concerns you, the Student Care Office can be found in the Lady Symon building adjacent to the Cloisters, and the counselling service can be found in the Horace Lamb building. Georgina Morphett georgina.morphett@student. adelaide.edu.au

SRC WOMEN’S OFFICER

Hello there! As your Women’s Officer for 2016, I would like to welcome warmly to Elle Dit. I’m a fifth year Law/ Commerce (Accounting) student. I’m pretty passionate about sports, especially basketball, the Geelong Cats and V8 Supercars. As if my orange Ford Falcon didn’t give it away, I’m not your usual SRC Women’s Officer. Adding to all this, I’m a political conservative and a member of the Young Liberals. As an update, there has been a hive of activity arising from International Women’s Day. I was pleased to see the screening of The Hunting Ground, a documentary on sexual abuse on American college campuses, as a part of the university’s Respect. Now. Always. campaign. My planning for the rest of the year is well underway, but, as always, if there is anything I can assist you with please feel free to contact me at srcwomens@auu.org. au (even if it is just to say hello!). When I was asked to write this piece, I was asked to target and cover women’s issues. I’m rather hesitant to actually do this. Why? Simply put, women are diverse; we all have different backgrounds, ideological beliefs and passions. I

strongly believe that women cannot be pigeonholed, and nor should they. As a student representative, I feel it would be hypocritical and ignorant to not practice the equality that is so often sought, particularly given the International Women’s Day theme: a pledge for parity. Despite this being the magazine of women’s voices – Elle Dit: she says- I believe I’m writing this for all readers. My passion for recognizing women as diverse comes from a lived experience as someone who is not your average 21 year old. As a Liberal, I have a fundamental belief in the inalienable rights and freedoms inherent in people. I’m especially passionate about equality of opportunity. I have always wanted to be acknowledged on merit, not gender. This acknowledgement is one of the challenges that we face in ensuring equality. When we talk about ‘targets’ for female representation, be it in Parliament or in the boardroom, I believe we are completely missing the point of equality. Equality to me means standing on the same podium as any other and being judged on my strengths

and weaknesses, and not picked or promoted purely because of a gender target. I believe that women should be treated as people, and not numbers on a piece of paper designed to make us ‘feel good’. When it comes time to discuss the challenges that women face, from health issues to sexual abuse, domestic violence, and inequality, it is important that we hear from both men and women. While these are issues that predominantly face women, we are unlikely to achieve anything until we acknowledge that everyone must be part of the solution. It’s great to be a feminist and celebrate the female voice in Elle Dit, but it’s also important to remember that women are diverse and shouldn’t be judged and counted purely on the basis of their gender. Erin Murray srcwomens@auu.org.au

VOX POP

GRACE 2ND YR, INTL. DEVELOPMENT

MAGGIE 1ST YR, HEALTH SCIENCE

1. No I don’t believe it’s dead, I believe it’s alive and well especially at the University of Adelaide.

1. No.

2. Absolutely, important.

3. No I don’t think it matters.

extremely

3. Not in any great detail. 4. I think it’s great. 5. No I don’t believe they are.

2. Definitely, we should speak for ourselves.

4. I think it’s good because I don’t think women should be sexual icons. We should be treated the same as men. 5. It depends, if you like it you should take them.

RENEE 1ST YR, INTL. TOURISM 1. No it’s not dead, just stagnant. 2. Yes, it’s nice to have something centred around women for once. 3. Nope, not at all. 4. I feel that women should be able to wear no shirt, but for me it’s uncomfortable not wearing a bra, and the women who are part of the campaign all have small boobs. I think it’s been over sexualised and it doesn’t affect me. 5. It depends on what happens with the photos, and I think women should be able to post photos of their bodies without it becoming a social issue.

1. IS FEMINISM DE AD? 2. DO YOU THIN K THAT ELLE DIT IS IMPORTANT? 3. HAVE YOU E VER THOUGHT ABOUT THE SIZE OR SHAPE OF YOUR VAGINA? 4. IS #FREE THENIPPLE MOVEMENT GOOD OR BAD? WHY? 5. ARE NUDE SELFIES EMPOWERING?

ERIN 1ST YR, PSYCH/MARKETING

SOPHIE

YUTONG

1ST YR, TEACHING

1ST YR, HEALTH SCIENCE

1. I think it’s in a transition period between what used to be the focus to a new focus, becoming more about subliminal forms if sexism.

1. I don’t think it’s dead, I think people are destroying it by going over the top.

1. I don’t think its dead, I think it’s still really important.

2. Yeah I think it’s important to give women a voice. 3. When I heard about labiaplasty, I thought about it but I didn’t realise that there was such a difference between people and that they were supposed to look a certain way. 4. I think it’s good, but I think the message can get lost with models nipples being plastered everywhere. 5. They can be if they are done for an empowering reason, but if they are done for external validation then it defeats the purpose.

2. I think it’s important as women need to be recognised and show in different ways.

2. Yes of course. 3. I’ve never really thought about it.

3. No... No.

4. I don’t know actually.

4. I think it’s good, I think the fact that people have a problem with women breast feeding in public is a bit ridiculous.

5. I think it depends whether the person likes it or not.

5. Depending on how they are taken, if it gets sent around by a dude then no, if you’ve done it yourself and are happy with it then yeah.

DESIGNA VAGINA WORDS BY: TAHLIA SVINGOS

Picture this – a black tie event, canapés float around the room, champagne flows, the click clack of high heels fills the room. Everyone is tediously discussing work, partners, television, the weather. I’m bored. I spend most of my time wandering around, hoping to hear a conversation topic with a little more depth. As I walk to refill my glass, I hear it – ‘well if my vagina looked like that you best believe I’d be getting labiaplasty.’ Here we were, coated in fake tan, with fake eyelashes, beautiful dresses and tiny impractical bags, discussing further ways to make women feel insecure. I was shocked that a woman brought this up. What shocked me more was that a circle of women were nodding their heads in agreement, simultaneously wincing at the thought of having an ‘ugly vagina.’ At this point in the night my feet were beginning to ache, the underwire from my bra was cutting into my ribs and I was starving. I had spent hours getting ready for

this event, mulling over what I was going to wear to make sure everyone else thought I looked good. And now here I am, stressing over where my vagina fares in the genital beauty contest. As women, do we put so much pressure on being beautiful that it has now extended to our vaginas? If I flashback to the first time I ever got undressed in front of someone, I can remember the anxiety. Will they notice my left boob is bigger than the right? If I bend like this they’ll see my fat rolls! I felt pressured to have the perfect naked body, to be smooth, soft and perky. I poured hot wax on every rogue hair, I spent a week’s wage on lacey lingerie and I doused myself in rose scented perfume. If you had told Past Me that on top of all this, I should be worrying about having an ‘ugly vagina,’ I’m not sure I would have ever had the confidence to get undressed. This party wasn’t the first time I’d heard of the so-called ‘ugly vagina.’ The first time I heard of it was in the movie Borat. No one here is going

to say that Borat is a progressive film that respects women, but this particular scene shocked me, ‘When I buy my wife… her vagine worked well, she strong on plow, but three years later… her vagine hung like sleeve of wizard.’ Here we go again. Satire or not, what if this made someone self-conscious? What if you’d never thought of your outie vagina as a problem, and here comes mainstream comedy to shroud you with doubt. But no need to fear! If you have been personally scared by the remarks of strangers about the aesthetic of your vagina, there is a way to be perfect again! What is it you ask? It’s labiaplasty. Labiaplasty is a form of female genital re-shaping that aims to change the size and/or shape of the inner labia. The surgery is not only invasive, but super expensive, with some clinics quoting up to eight thousand dollars to get a ‘designa vagina.’ Now I’m not the type of person to ever shame someone for getting plastic surgery – if YOU want it, then YOU get it. My issue is – where

do other people get off preaching the perfect pussy? If it’s not your vagina, why do you care? If you love the person attached to the vagina, why tell them to change? When it comes to our vaginas - if it ain’t broke, why is society telling us to fix it? Some women have labiaplasty because their inner labia cause them discomfort in particular clothing or during intercourse. And to this I obviously say – I’m sorry that happened to you, I’m glad it’s fixed. But this isn’t what I’m talking about. The vagina you get is the vagina you get, and not everyone’s looks the same. If you have an ‘imperfect vagina’ (if that were even possible aesthetically), stand proud, because being imperfect is perfectly sexy. So with that I say – don’t let anyone tell you that your bits aren’t beautiful, because no matter their shape, size or colour, they are.

Tahlia is a creative writer with a passion for women’s rights. She wrote this piece while listening to Portishead in the bath

BACHSHITCRAZY TV WORDS BY: AMY NANCARROW ART WORK BY: EMILY HART

IS THE BACHELORETTE FEMINIST OR HORRIFYINGLY SEXIST? Reality television is my guilty pleasure. On one of those nights where my brain can’t take another ounce of information, I switch on Geordie Shore or The Real Housewives and bliss out at the fact that I don’t have to think about the crap that’s playing out on the screen. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I’m about to ruin it all for myself: I have just started writing a thesis about reality television and its horrifying portrayal of stereotypical gender roles, with special focus on The Real Housewives, Wife Swap, The Bachelor and Australia’s most recent hit, The Bachelorette. In 2015, Australia witnessed its first season of dating and reality program/revenge fantasy The Bachelorette. Our titular bachelorette, Sam Frost, had her heart broken on the national stage when, shortly after being crowned the winner of The Bachelor’s second season, she was unceremoniously,

harshly, and publicly dumped by winner Blake Harvey in favour of another contestant. Frost was left humiliated and heartbroken, distrusting of any man that came her way. Enter The Bachelorette: Frosty Returns. Sam is back, with a group of hunky, sensitive men at the ready to fight for her affection. Each week she ditches a contestant or two, and despite Richie “Cool Bananas” Strahan briefly taking over as favourite, she ultimately picks Sasha, the guy who very clearly stole her heart in the first episode. Now, there are two schools of thought when it comes to The Bachelorette. Firstly, there are those who say that The Bachelorette is a feminist rejigging of the arguably sexist male-driven counterpart. Sam takes no shit from any of the contestants, calling them out on any callous or arrogant behaviour, and sets them ridiculous challenges to prove their worth – in one episode, the guys literally jump off of a cliff at her say-so. She’s a woman who’s living large and searching for

her one true peen. It’s the ultimate revenge fantasy: Blake (who was cemented as one of Australia’s most hated men) has to now watch his ex-fiancée a) badmouth him on national television; b) become one of Australia’s favourite and most endearing personalities; and c) be surrounded by good looking men, all of whom are vying for her attention, until she finally chooses which of the men gets to be with her long-term. Then again, there are those that say that The Bachelorette is just a cheesy attempt to pander to female audiences; it’s every woman’s ultimate revenge fantasy against the ubiquitous seedy ex-boyfriend. It’s an insidious attempt to lure in the heterosexual female viewer; we are supposed to be Sam, we are supposed to live vicariously through her as she puts the contestants’ metaphorical balls in a hypothetical vice. It relies on our past experiences, our sorrows, our revenge fantasies against the ones that humiliated us: it taps into our base emotions to lure us into the mansion, hook us with the abs, and reel us in with the tears. So,

which

assessment

The

Bachelorette is correct? Is it a feminist masterstroke by the reality television gods? Or is it a horrifying attempt to unite a female audience in a mass man-hating, Richie-loving group? There’s no getting around the fact that reality television is an insidious, sneaky, yet ultimately successful beast. It reinforces stereotypical gender roles and heteronormative practices through the clever use of production values such as editing, sound, and casting. Every last second of what you see on screen is orchestrated and manipulated in a way that supports an underlying agenda or message that the producers are ultimately attempting to push. Nothing about television, particularly reality television, is produced in a vacuum. There’s a great article by local writer and comedian James McCann that talks about the fact that both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, are geared towards the female audience, albeit in different ways. He argues that the difference is in the portrayal of the contestants: ‘Women make up the predominant audience for both

shows,’ McCann says. ‘So there’s something about the portrayal of the male cohort as lovely, and the female cohort as rotten, that the producers suppose will resonate with them.’ To this end, he’s absolutely correct. In The Bachelor, the female contestants are portrayed as bitchy, backstabbing women who will stop at nothing to get the man of their dreams. In The Bachelorette, the men are often seen bro-ing out, encouraging each other to make the most of their alone time with Sam. Why do the contestants have to be differentiated in this way? What is it about this that the producers think will appeal to women? In order to answer these questions, a comparison to The Bachelor is needed – and comparison of the portrayal of the contestants is key. The women on The Bachelor are either overly emotional, shrew-like, or shady individuals. They are in constant competition with each other. On the other hand, the male contestants on The Bachelorette are friendly (aside from David the “International Model”) and encouraging. They are competing for Sam’s affection, but

bros come before... well, Sam Frost. To crudely simplify, if comparing the two, the message is clear: men are genuine, women are not; men are loyal, women are not. On the surface, The Bachelorette looks like a semi-feminist program. It looks like a woman going out there, getting her groove back, and finding the man of her dreams. Perhaps for Sam Frost, she got what she wanted out of her time in the mansion. However, if you peel back the layers, and compare it to its original counterpart, there lies a darker core to The Bachelorette than we realise. Considering the success of Sam’s season, there will no doubt be another. Next time, watch The Bachelorette and how they frame both the bachelorette and the contestants, and how these differ from The Bachelor. You may be surprised at the differences that arise.

As much as she’s beginning to hate reality television, Amy still wants to marry Richie from the Bachelorette, and isn’t ashamed to say it. He’s cool bananas.

WOMEN IN ART WORDS BY: GR ACE MORGAN-COCKS

‘Only men are capable of aesthetic greatness,’ claimed infamous art critic Brian Sewell, ‘Women make up 50 per cent or more of classes at art school. Yet they fade away in their late 20s or 30s. Maybe it’s something to do with bearing children.’ Art is valued because it speaks to your unconscious – love, nobility, sexuality are things that all appeal to us. But sometimes the ugly emotions, the ones that make you uncomfortable because they speak to you a little too well, make the most interesting and honest art. For centuries, women have being using their rage to create potent and soulbearing work. Is it any wonder that much of the subject of this art is to do with male injustice, and why Brian Sewell just didn’t get it? Artemisia Gentileshi (1593-1653), one of the most talented painters after Caravaggio, produced one of the most powerful depictions of violence to emerge from the 17th century, Judith Slaying Holofernes (1620). She depicted herself as the titular Judith, serene and determined, and her rapist Agostino Tassi as Holofernes, having his head removed.

Gentileshi’s private rage is exposed and strengthened, given a voice in this truly horrifying masterpiece. Despite this, the Medicis banished her work into a dark corner of the Uffizi archives, where it remained only until the late twentieth century. But Judith was not Gentileshi’s first exploration into sexual harassment and mistreatment. At only seventeen she completed Susanna and the Elders (1610), initially attributed to her father, showing a young wife being sexually harassed and exploited by her male seniors. Gentileshi’s rage has manifested itself into formidable examples of the height of Italian Baroque, as well as what we recognize today as protofeminist art. Louise Bourgeois’ (1911-2010) body of work heavily deals with sexuality and male betrayal, an obsessive theme which stemmed from her father’s affair with her English teacher and her mother’s closely following death, and ran almost until the end of her life. One of her works that deals most directly with this is Destruction of the Father (1974), a vivid, intimate and unsettlingly installation, based on a dream in which a mother and her children tear the father from limb to

limb and feast on his body. In eating him, does not only want to destroy him, but consume him so he is with her forever. Other significant works deal with female subordination and de-humanisation, in her Femme Maison series, and continue into the struggle between the male and female, such as Janus Fleuri (1968). In her old age, her anger at her father waned into adoration of her mother in Maman (1999), an enormous sculptural spider that might inspire terror, but to her represented cleverness, patience and usefulness, as well as the spider’s strength to defend herself and her children. Both Bourgeois and Gentileschi are obviously very different, but their work is a great example of why only art has the ability to exemplify such universal emotion that stretches centuries, and yet remains so deeply personal. And all of us, not just women, can appreciate that.

Grace wants to know if you can spare any change.

Artemisia Gentileschi, Judith Slaying Holofernes, 1620.

THIS IS NOT A BODY ISSUE WORDS BY: KATE RIGGS ART WORK BY: NATALIE CARFOR A

I hate yoga. I come to this conclusion in the 62nd minute of a 75 minute hot yoga class. I know it is the 62nd minute because I have spent the last five minutes staring at my neighbour’s watch as she moves through sun salutations while I lie on my mat and weep for my life choices. I am on a quest to be fit. It is probably the most well prepared and dragged out quest in history; as World’s Greatest Procrastinator, it has taken me most of the last year to buy my first gym pass. So far I have tried barre, kayaking, trampoline class, skipping, hula hooping, and one aerial yoga class that resulted in brunch instead. In addition to exercise, I’ve recently succumbed to getting laser hair removal, and I was talked into doing my armpits as well. Gone are the days of très francais underarm hair. After my first session I felt uneasy, like I had failed myself. I had stopped fighting the good fight against societal pressure. All of a sudden, my womanhood felt a little more contrived. Am I turning my back on my feminist ideals? Burn your bra, sisters, and let that bush grow.

It is the same every time I go to one of the exercise classes. It digs at me a little bit. I enjoy the label of ‘aggressive feminist’. My mother raised me to be independent and to support other women. I have read Simone de Beauvoir, Mary Wollstonecraft, Betty Friedan, Naomi Wolf, Judith Butler. I am There. Do not get me started. This is not an issue of body image. Post-angsting after mid-adolescence weight gain, I am affectionate towards my body. I delight in the term chubby. Yet my body is still a battleground. I am in perpetual civil war. On this fitness quest I have found myself at odds with my feminism. I am an ardent supporter of the body positivity movement, in the rights of women to choose how they look, or what they do with their minds and their bodies. My feminism is You Do You. Have your cake and eat it too. I am not doing me. I am pretending that I have a shot at the unattainable body of someone who regularly walks the Victoria’s Secret runway. I’ve been telling everybody that I want to get fit, and this is true – fitter, but skinnier too. I would like

to be within the ‘healthy’ range for my body: 7kg (minimum) less, a waist circumference of 30 inches, BMI of 24, able to run one mile in 10 minutes, not break a sweat walking upstairs etc etc etc. I have a list on my phone that is longer than the actual exercise I have tried. ‘Great!’ You say, ‘Healthy is what you should aim for!’ Well, yes. But. Every time I open the notes on my phone and add another item to the list (this week it was ‘complete Mt Lofty without wanting to die’), I feel a little more like I’m breaking a promise to my body. Almost like I’m having a weird affair, cheating on my lumps and bumps by flirting with the promise of a flat stomach and svelte arms. Betraying my principles of ‘happiness at any size’ for the greener grass of sports bras in public and thigh gaps. The unattainable greener grass of a ‘perfect’ body like it is a one size fits all. I understand that I am delusional for thinking I could have any part of that. But I still want it, and am willing to pay to get it. And that is cooperating encourages hate their

the worst part: I am with a system that girls and women to bodies, and malign

their natural lumpy selves. Every Facebook article I click on (‘tips for the best bikini body ever!’) I can hear my feminist ancestors tutting. I am colluding with the enemy. I am actively participating in the culture that crushes women’s self-esteem so they buy more diet shakes and shape wear. Am I alone in this thought process? I conducted an extremely scientific poll that asked if you can be a feminist and still obsess over having the body of Gigi Hadid. Does this mean I have latent body image issues fermenting inside me? All respondents (science!) agreed that being fit and feminist are not mutually exclusive – as long as women are not comparing themselves to each other. Most also agreed that feminist values are not a stronghold against societal pressure to be thin and beautiful.

In fact, feminism can assist in making educated choices within this societal pressure, so we are aware what is going on when we scroll through Instagram. Only two people acknowledged the body image issue. It’s almost like we want to be above it. We understand it is ‘bad’ to have negative body image. We should be confident! We are beautiful! Happy! At! Any! Size! Yet as my friend Cecilia pointed out, we may not be able to carry these feminist beliefs into our everyday lives. At some point we will unconsciously perpetuate social norms. It feels like a Get Out of Jail Free Card, and I’m not sure I want to use it. I feel lazy to just blame my new obsession with the perfect body on the patriarchy, and not sit down and attempt to reconcile my values and my participation. I still feel

uneasy. Am I letting my feminist forebears down by not fighting? Mostly, my investigations yield the same confusion that I have on the topic. Women have to compartmentalise: feminist values on body positivity in one corner of the brain, and our desire for body perfection in another. Maybe the two have to be exclusive. I know on my ~fitness quest~ I will keep obsessing over this. Perhaps that is how I can be feminist while exercising. Keep talking about it, keep listening to each other. There is no wrong way to feel about this. There is no wrong body type. There is no wrong answer. Except hot yoga. Seriously, fuck that. Kate would open a Jurassic Park in real life.

SORORITY OF FEMINISM: JOIN US ON THE WHITE SIDE WORDS BY: EMMA FERR ARO

Feminism, according to a quick Google search, is defined as ‘the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of equality between the sexes’. Let’s look at the meaning behind the word ‘equality’. Typically, it is about equal rights, equal benefits, and equal socio-economic status between all persons, regardless of race, sex, and so on. But in our quest for equality (in its most shallow definition), many of those living in a Western society assume that an ‘equal’ society is one that is fundamentally Western; thus, they try to apply their version of feminism to non-Western women, doing more harm than good. So what about Western feminism? Western feminism is better known as ‘first world’ or ‘white’ feminism. It is not called so because white women exclusively perpetuate it, but because its focus is mainly on forms of oppression to which cis, heterosexual, white women are subjected. Even if this first world feminism is more inclusive of more diverse women, it is still concentrated on women living in a Western (aka ‘first’) world. In the broadest sense, Western feminism can include topics of the pay gap, sexual harassment in the

workplace, catcalling, being afraid to walk alone on the streets, and the policing of women’s clothing. Not to say these are irrelevant topics, or that they aren’t valuable to the feminist discussion, but focusing on these issues alone reinforces the notion that feminism outside of a Western society is not as important. First world feminism can indeed include topics of ableism, sexuality, trans-misogyny, oppression of women of colour, and social classism. This form of feminism is more beneficial toward the idea of equality in a way that includes more women, but it is still mostly discussed in a Western context. What I do not hear discussed as frequently is feminist issues that impact women in non-Western societies. Because here are the problems women face outside of the ‘first’ world: extreme domestic violence, public stoning, sex trafficking, female genital mutilation, and prosecution of rape victims, to name a few. Sure, you might hear a three minute story about the odd public stoning on the news, or an ‘investigation’ about the sex trade, but in Western society, these topics do not gain great coverage, are not present in the discussion, nor are they treated as essential feminist

issues, despite their undebatable seriousness. Alternatively, something I’ve noticed that white, Western feminists often do is to tell non-Western women that they don’t know they’re oppressed. Sure, some women don’t even know what feminism is. But telling a woman that she’s ‘brainwashed’ or that she ‘doesn’t know she’s oppressed’, simply for believing and participating in traditions and values that white feminists do not, is not some kind of liberation. It’s patronizing and condescending. You are not facilitating some kind of freedom; you’re simply establishing your own internalized racism and white privilege in the assumption that you, in your privileged, white feminism standpoint, are more enlightened than another woman in a different country. Equality should not be a simile for cultural assimilation. In a world of over 7 billion people, with innumerable ways of living, uniformity is not a viable option for an equal society. We cannot magically erase thousands of cultures to achieve equality. Let’s use some pop culture references:

EMMA WATSON

I like her as much as the next person. She has publically spoken out about feminist issues, and strongly advocates women educating themselves on feminism and supporting change. It’s great that she’s used her position to do so. However, one can argue that her feminism, in addition to being a watered down, ‘malefriendly’ version, mostly panders to white feminist: women she can relate to on a socio-cultural-economic footing. Again, this is okay (see above), but it’s not okay when it’s the only thing you want to talk about. For example, I had to read this quote with my own two eyeballs: ‘Whether you are a woman on a tea plantation in Kenya, or a stockbroker on Wall Street, or a Hollywood actress, no one is being paid equally.’ Of course these women, in their vastly different jobs, are not being paid equally as their male counterparts. But you cannot compare a Hollywood actress, who makes millions in a single year, to a woman working in a tea plantation who doesn’t even make a tiny fraction of that, and who also faces many more and much more severe forms of injustice.

TAYLOR SWIFT Although Taylor talks about female empowerment, her version of feminism is again, focused on women she can relate to on that socio-cultural-economic level. Look at her girl squad: they are comprised of mostly white, attractive, Western, rich women (and ‘mostly’ refers to not only the quantity, but the ones who are mostly publicized in popular media), and she talks about the problems those white, attractive, Western, women face. As a basic example, her feud with Nicki Minaj. Nicki was vocalizing racial inequality within the music industry, but Taylor determined it as ‘pitting women against one another’, because as a privileged white woman, she can never truly understand racial oppression, whether in a Western or non-Western society.

These three women aren’t fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘problematic’. Neither is any other Western, white feminist woman. As said previously, the problems they discuss are still relevant to dismantling patriarchal values that hinder and oppress women, and promote empowerment and equality. But when a Western,

LENA DUNHAM I’ve never seen Girls and I never will. Not only does her show look at the problems of first world white girls, in earlier seasons, it lessened POC to secondary roles as working class characters to said white girls. Lena is heralded as some kind of feminist champion, and yes, some of what she articulates is important to women, but when she’s racist, transphobic, homophobic, etc., how much good is she actually doing, and why does it have to be on the expense of more vulnerable groups?

white feminist refuses to discuss the issues faced by women in a nonWestern nation – a society they don’t inhabit, and a socio-culturaleconomical environment they don’t live in – it becomes a problem. If we’re going to achieve ‘equality’ on a global scale, and one that doesn’t

seek to create Western assimilation, we must consider every woman, and all women, and not just the ones who take up the most space.

Emma hasn’t died for Little Mix, but probably would.

PLUS-SIZING SELF-ESTEEM WORDS BY: HIL ARY D’ANGELO ART WORK BY: KUNI ZHAO

I’ll never forget when an old friend of mine delightedly informed me that a girl she knew – 5’11”, gorgeous, thin, and a size 10 – had made the news for journeying interstate to begin a career of modelling. Plus-sized modelling, that is. There I was – 5’4” tall, with a slight BMI of 20, yet also a size 10. If this girl, 7 inches my superior, was plussized, then what the hell did that make me? It seems dramatic to suggest that the existence of supposed “plus-sized” models is actually more damaging to self-esteem than the prevalence of dangerously underweight models, but the two extremes enable each other. The fact that a healthy (and often meagre) size 10 is the benchmark for models to be deemed plus-sized is more insulting than anything. This type of “plus-sized” modelling exists under the pretence of promoting a realistic body image, when really it achieves the reverse effect. Just to clarify: I am well aware that I’m by no means heavy. If anything, I’m on the smaller side of a healthy weight. But when I hear the term plus-sized, I envisage builds that are on the higher end of healthy, or perhaps even a little overweight. Not, you

know, girls who are slimmer than I am? This whole concept gives the impression that being admirably slim, yet not underweight, is out of the ordinary to the extent that it can’t conform to typical standards of beauty. I know that I for one would rather accept that I just don’t live up to the unrealistic beauty expectations of standard modelling, than think of myself as “plus-sized”. Although it’s always tempered as a point of debate, this topic has come to light again with the recent passing of a bill in France banning “excessively thin models”. This bill entails that in order to be considered eligible for a job, models must present a doctor’s certificate confirming that they are not unhealthily underweight. So for France, it’s goodbye to models being considered “too fat” or “plus-sized” if they’re less than 5kg underweight, and hello to more realistic beauty standards. Surely this is something we should rejoice? Of course, such excellent news for body positivity and health has been met with a hoard of criticism, with

links to the article online flooded with comments along the lines of ‘How about they ban overweight models instead? They’re the ones setting the bad example’. Ah, these commenters appear to be on to something. After all, it is because of the elusive breed of size 16+ models who genuinely adorn a plus-sized, overweight frame that girls starve themselves amidst unhealthy attempts to mirror what they believe is the ideal form of beauty. Oh, wait… Here’s the thing: the existence of legitimate plus-sized models as mentioned above (and no, I don’t mean those who wear a size 10 due to their tall yet slender 5’11” frame) has sparked so much controversy that their existence is rare. These are the models who exist to make women feel better about themselves, not like their thin counterparts of the same title who, in fact, do the opposite.

Women of a healthy size don’t feel “fat” and self-conscious because of the uncommon size 16+ model, nor do they feel compelled to try to unhealthily strive for their body types. They feel like this because women smaller like them are flaunted and celebrated for being “plus-sized” merely due to the fact that unlike other models, they are not underweight. As for France, I think they’re doing a wonderful thing by trying to relieve the unhealthy and unrealistic standards that have pervaded the modelling industry for so long. Instead of labelling girls “plus-sized” for having a BMI above 18, perhaps it’s time we follow France’s lead. Hilary is surprised that drivers find any decorum in indicating after they’ve already changed lanes. That gesture really doesn’t help anyone.

GOING DOWN ON OUR KNEES FOR NADAL WORDS BY: ALICIA FR ANCESCHINI ART WORK BY: R ACHEL WONG

When my third wave feminist mother first told me about the existence of the Gender Pay Gap in about 2006, even as a somewhat sheltered and privileged 16 year old I was outraged. How could me being female mean that when I one day entered the workforce, I would most likely wind up being paid far less than my male contemporaries, simply due to my gender? Ten years later this issue is still as relevant as ever and as widely misunderstood as ever. Two weeks ago when I mentioned writing a story about the gender pay gap to a fellow student I was met with the response, ‘Oh, I’m sure that’s a real thing, but you’ll need real facts from reliable sources to prove your argument.’ This dismissive attitude towards equal pay seems to be pervasive in many arenas, not just your average Thursday afternoon tute. Recently Indian Wells CEO Raymond Moore said that female

tennis players should be grateful to male players such as Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal for “carrying the sport” and that female players should, ahem, ‘go down on their knees every night’ for what male players have done. Really, he said that. A week later current world no. 1 Novak Djokovic insisted that male tennis players should continue to be paid more than female players because they attract the largest crows to the sport, which simply isn’t true. Good job lads. Have they completely forgotten the living tennis legend and earth angel Serena Williams, who was last year responsible for the Women’s U.S. Open selling out before the Men’s. Williams further hit back at the misogynistic comments by saying, ‘I would never put a sex against another sex. I think it’s unfair to compare, we have had so many great women champions and players who have brought such

great vision to the sport. There have been great men players too, but women’s tennis is the biggest sport for women.’ Unfortunately, sport is not the only area where women are not paid equally in comparison to their male colleagues. It seems like every couple of days another article emerges in which it is discovered that a leading and talented actress was paid far less than her male co-stars that had supporting roles. But let’s be honest, the pay checks of the sporting elite and Hollywood A-listers doesn’t have much bearing on most of our lives. So what does the gender pay gap mean for those of us who are about to enter into professional careers in the next few years. The gender pay gap refers to the difference in men’s and women’s weekly full-time earnings. It does not refer to a like for like pay difference, that is men and women

doing the same jobs and being paid differently for their work, though there is some debate that this does exist in fields where yearly salaries or raises are negotiated between employers and employees. The gender pay gap is a symbol for where women stand in the work force and business and is inf luenced by a number of different social issues, such as a lack of women in senior positions, female dominated industries such as education attracting lower wages, stereotypes, tradition, discrimination and so much more that I couldn’t possibly hope to touch on here. The national gender pay gap in Australia is currently somewhere around 18% according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. This number has hovered around the 15% to 19% mark for the last twenty years. Yep, we have made little to no progress in Australia in

the area of equal pay for the past twenty years. So can how industry and business hope to f inally make some progress and close this gap in the future? Attitudes surrounding women’s roles in the work the place and what they are capable of contributing, obviously, need to change. We need to update this thinking that a woman of a certain age is a liability to a company or a business because she is likely to run off and churn out three kids once they are eligible for Paid Parental Leave. We need to create more opportunities for women to move into senior positions in, and once you get their ladies, why not reach down and pull up some of your sisters behind you. Mentoring amongst professional is a great way to ensure the skills and talents of young women are fostered and eventually utilized. And low paying sectors that attract

predominantly female employees, like education? Fuck that. Let’s pay our teachers more. I can scarcely think of a more important job than educating our next generation. Yes, the gender pay gay, is unfortunately a very real thing that needs to be addressed by industry and business, not only in Australia, but throughout the rest of the world as well. When men in positions of power like Moore and Djokovic dismiss the issue or make misogynistic remarks, it only serves to highlight how far we actually still have to go. But let’s be like Serena and use these painfully idiotic instances as an opportunity to educate those less informed. Actually, let’s just always be Serena. All of the time.

Alicia is a harpy queen that enjoys truffle rissotto sand speaking French badly.

ARTIST PROFILE: DEANNA VARKANIS

Ever the Piscean, I like to think I have a creative soul; one that pays homage to my star sign, and constantly inspires me to think, do, dabble, and make. Whilst I’ve always been a lover of art, especially the kind that stands boldly, and makes me tilt my head with colourful curiosity, I first started playing around with paint when I grew out of colouring books, and realised I just wasn’t as good at drawing as I had thought. Channeling my love for bright aesthetics into abstract portraits, my style is simple in its technique, and yet seeks to showcase the vibrancy and depth of the feminine form. Using acrylics on canvas, I like to play with curved lines and emphasise a woman’s features – think big eyes, big hair, big lips – and celebrate the sassiness that we all have within us. My choice of colour palette usually contains little thought; instead I like to slap it on and make it all ‘pop’, painting sassy women and pouty women, or women who, like me, just love a lil pink. Follow Deanna’s artwork on Instagram: @DeannaVarkanis

FEMINIST FROM BIRTH WORDS BY: R ACHEL CAINES ART WORK BY: LUR ALGHUR ABI

Thinking about it, my first explicit exposure to feminism must have been Mrs Banks. You know, at the very beginning of Mary Poppins when she’s marching around the house singing about ‘Sister Suffragettes’ whilst Katie Nanna is trying to quit. Now, young girls (and boys) in Afghanistan will learn about feminism through Zari, a six year old muppet recently introduced on Baghch-e Simsim, Afghanistan’s version of Sesame Street. Growing up, gender equality was definitely something I took for granted. I was never explicitly taught that men and women are equal, it was just one of those things I absorbed through the actions of my parents. I remember the first time I hit one of my little brothers my dad sat us all down and told us never to hit anyone, regardless of who they were. My brothers were never supposed to hit women (or men), but neither was I. At various stages of

my life both of my parents have taken turns to be ‘stay at home’ parents. They both cooked, cleaned, read stories, disciplined us, and worked. All my life I was told that my gender was not a barrier, and that if we worked hard, we could achieve whatever we wanted. We all learned about science and maths, and we all loved to read, write, and play music. My favourite toys as a child were my Thomas the Tank Engine trains and my stuffed toy dogs. My little brother and I each had a Baby Born, and we played families together. We have never been anything but equals, regardless of gender or anything else, and that’s still how I look at it today. My parents also taught me that not all young women were as lucky as I was. When I started talking about nose piercings, my dad explained to me how some women would have the chain between their ear and their nose ripped off if they displeased their husbands, marking them for life. I learnt about sex trafficking, how some women didn’t have access to education, forced marriage, and that not all women were able to vote. Most importantly, I learned that all of these serious issues needed to change, because men and women are equal. So really, I didn’t learn about feminism, gender equality, and female empowerment through Mrs Banks (although she is a personal hero). I learned about it through my parents who never for a moment let me believe I was inferior, or superior, to my brothers. I think it’s fantastic for young girls to have role models on TV, in books, and in films to look up to. I had plenty. But what I think would be even more fantastic is if we lived in a world where all children were taught the same lessons that I was – that our gender doesn’t define us, that men and women are equal, and that we should never let anyone make us believe anything different. Rachel is addicted to burgers and has too many opinions for her own good.

ISN’T FEMINISM ABOUT CHOICE? WORDS BY: SKYE JENNER I once told someone to shove it when I was ordered into the kitchen, and I’ve since been called a feminist by my friends and family. I was twelve at the time. I’m proud to claim the title; for me, being a feminist is about equal rights and opportunities. It’s about the fact that my gender (or yours, for that matter) shouldn’t impact how people treat me, what jobs I can pursue or what hobbies I can have. I feel genuinely sorry for some of my more unfortunate associates who have had to stand around listening to me while I’m on my soap box. But that’s not the soapbox I’m going to get on today. Today I want to talk about choice. As I said, to me women’s rights and the feminist movement are about giving us women equal opportunities to choose our own pathways. The career women and single mothers are obviously strongly supported in this argument – they have chosen a diff icult path and stuck to it, heads held high. But what about me? What about the girls who don’t want to follow the diff icult paths? I’m very driven and want to get a good career for myself, I’ve never

depended on a man to make me feel good, and I have never acted in a specif ic way because it is expected of me as a woman. But I have spent the last f ive years defending my relationship to a wide variety of people. Tyson and I met at a friend’s BBQ and six months later we started dating (actually we just started sleeping together, and decided we’d say it was a relationship). That one night was probably the best decision of my life. I managed to f ind someone who takes me (with all of my idiosyncrasies and complications) and loves me. Just the way I am. Believe me, I know how rare and special that is… there’s just one issue… he’s “communicationally inept”. Or, as I often call him, he’s a gruntgrunt-scratch-scratch-man. I’ve been told that he is an asshole because it took him over two years to admit that he loved me. That I’m somehow weak and not at all a strong, independent woman because I’m in a relationship. Or because I’m in a relationship that is with a non-hipster man. Apparently because the guy that I chose f its all the gender stereotypes, I must be a submissive

housewife and that it’s somehow a bad thing. If you asked my partner, he would set you straight on that… I’m not housewifey, I’m not submissive, and according to him, I’m just generally crap at remembering to run any errands. What I want to know is – since when did my relationship choice affect anyone but myself ? Since when did mere acquaintances have the right to tell me how they feel about something that makes me happy? If you want to date a man, woman, something in between, go ahead. It’s up to you who to keep in your life to make you happy, and choosing that person doesn’t make you any less, or more, of a feminist. We should all be arguing for our ability to choose what we want, not the ability of others to choose what’s ideal for you. Skye is possibly never going to be useful around the house – there are just way too many shiny things to distract her!

ON DIT INTERVIEW: A PENNY FOR PENNYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S THOUGHTS WHY DID YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN STUDENT POLITICS? DID YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE INVOLVED IN POLITICS AS AN ADULT? As a university student I protested against the introduction of HECS fees. I was protesting outside the SA Labor State Convention in Adelaide while a motion on university fees was being voted on. It made me realise that the most effective way to influence policy was to be in the room, rather than on the outside looking in. That was when I decided to become more involved with the ALP, which led to becoming involved in student politics and to a commitment to campaigning to achieve progressive change in our society. I made the decision to stand for Parliament when I was working as an adviser to the NSW Government. I

saw how a Labor Government could introduce reforms to make people better off and I saw that the quality of decisions and reforms depends on the people making them, and I wanted to be at the table making those decisions. IS IT DIFFICULT TO SEPARATE YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS FROM YOUR POLITICAL POSITIONS? Politics is, or should be, underpinned by belief. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a member of the Labor party because I believe Labor governments have changed the nation for the better. Medicare, fair wages and conditions, superannuation for working people, the Apology to the Stolen Generations, no-fault divorce, paid parental leave and the NDIS and much more have been delivered by Labor governments. Of course, being in a party of government does mean that you make your case within the party and sometimes you lose the argument.

But the greatest benefit of being in a major political party is the opportunity you have to actually implement real change.

WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY WOMEN IN POLITICS ARE HESITANT TO IDENTIFY AS FEMINISTS?

HOW DO YOU THINK JULIA GILLARD’S PRIME MINISTERSHIP HAS AFFECTED WOMEN IN POLITICS?

I believe that identifying as a feminist is an act of respect. It is recognising that the reason I was able to run for Parliament, vote, have equal pay, is because women went before me and fought for those rights.

During her time in as Prime Minister Julia Gillard undoubtedly experienced sexism and disrespectful commentary that was never experienced by the men who had come before her. I do believe the way she was treated by the sections of the media and opposition politicians sent a message that would discourage women who were considering public life. I hope that Julia’s experience, and the experience of others like former Victorian Premier Joan Kirner, mean that the women who come after them will be treated more fairly.

I think it is a mistake to believe that that fight is over. The continuing need for affirmative action targets for women’s representation in Parliament shows that there remains work to be done for women to become candidates, successfully enter Parliament and become ministers. The statistics in politics should remind women that while we may have achieved formal equality, there is still a way to go in changing the culture of politics. It’s one of the reasons why feminism is still so relevant today.

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC WORDS BY: CARINA STATHIS ART WORK BY: LUR ALGHUR ABI

It has become an apparent international fact that girls and women love to shop; perhaps not all women are into fashion, but many are. We are obsessed with the sensation of going out and dedicating a few hours, or even a whole day, to spending money on things we may or may not need. From heels, jumpers, jeans, lingerie, skirts and every other fashion item under the sun, we’re bound to buy it (or at least consider buying it). Despite all of the sunshine and rainbows after a little retail therapy, there is one incredibly annoying factor about the female clothing line. It’s a question that has been wondered by many and is yet to have an exact answer. That being, ‘why are women’s clothes visually appealing but also uncomfortable and impractical?’ Due to poor designer choices and dodgy brands, women everywhere are experiencing a mental and physical frustration when browsing through the isles. You may think that women complain a lot, but a lot of these complaints are probably because of the clothes she’s wearing. It’s not simply a case of ‘this colour makes my ankles look fat’ or ‘my boobs are too big the add-on straps can’t take the load’, because that’s an entirely different

topic. What I am referring to are the little inconvenient decisions made by designers that do not benefit our needs of comfort and practicality. For those that are yet to experience this fashion frustration, here is what women have to deal with on a daily basis. For one, there’s nothing worse than casually going about your day and being jabbed in the boob by the underwire of your bra or wearing itchy lingerie – that’s not kinky at all. They’re the pieces of clothing you cannot go a day without, unless you’re brave enough to go commando, forgot to do the washing, or have low standards. They’re also our most intimate garments that are strapped to us all day long, so why are some made without much care? Lingerie, in particular, is supposed to make women look and feel great about their bodies, not turned off by the thought of awkward itchiness or being poked all day by your own $40 bra. Another frequent fashion complaint you’ll be sure to hear leave a woman’s mouth is ‘oh my gosh, my feet are dying!’ The beloved heel is an item you love to hate and only wear to f it in with your tall friends. This love/hate

relationship varies based on two things: the make of the heel and where you choose to wear them. If the making of the shoe isn’t done well, the pain you experience is the designer’s fault. However, if the making of the shoe is actually decent but you decide to wear heels to a cocktail party with lots of grass, you’re probably at blame. If I could, I’d send a note to my eighteen-year-old self, reading ‘do not wear heels to HQ , you will die’. Like lingerie, heeled-shoes are always irresistible to buy. For those that have enough willpower to walk away from a Novo or Betts store window, I salute you. Without any doubt, the most frustrating and impractical clothing of all definitely has to be jeans and jackets with fake pockets! I don’t know who initiated the idea and I don’t know what country they’re from, but this has got to be the most despicable fashion inconvenience of all time (I may have just read that in Kanye West’s voice). Where am I expected to put my phone when I’m listening to music? Am I just expected to hold it in my hand like a loser? And where are all my pocket tissues, keys and spare change going to go now?? I’m not sure if this is also a trend in the men’s clothing line, but

it a serious issue among women’s. By now you’re probably thinking I complain a lot, which I often do about certain things. Although, I think it’s important to highlight the inconveniences of fashion trends in order to realise the struggle women experience. In saying that, however, not every piece of clothing a woman buys or wears is uncomfortable or impractical. The fashion industry wouldn’t be as successful at all if the were the case. If there’s anything noteworthy that should be taken away from these complaints, it’s that the fashion choices a women makes is not always based on looks. Because no one wants to wear itchy underwear all day, or have blisters from stupid heels or have no pockets to put your phone into.

Carina wishes shoes weren’t so darn expensive, though she still usually buys at least four pairs anyway.

LOVING FOOTY AS A FEMINIST WORDS BY: HOLLY NICHOLLS ART WORK BY: EMILY HART

Jonathan Brown, former Brisbane player, current Fox footy commentator, and walking embodiment of hyper-masculinity, reckons footballers ‘ just want to be big boys, we want to be men’ because ‘it’s a man game.’ Honestly, you’d be forgiven for thinking this quote was taken from 1975. But this is 2016 and here we are. Apparently women don’t belong in football. Which will come as a great shock, I am sure, to the 35% of AFL club members who are women. It will startle the 284,501 girls and women playing across the country, from Auskick to representing Melbourne and the Bulldogs in exhibition matches (one of which drew an average of 300 000 viewers on channel 7 last year). And what about the countless women who volunteer at grassroots level, washing the jumpers and staffing the canteens, without whom football wouldn’t happen at all. So why, at the top tiers of the footballing world, are women so excluded? Turn on the television to watch any match and there is not a single woman in a commentary role. Apparently this is because the sports

media is a meritocracy but, please, can someone explain in what sense a certain moustached member of Channel Seven and his incessant screaming of BOY OH BOY WOWEE exactly embodies merit? Kelli Underwood, who now calls games for ABC radio, was a member of Channel Ten’s commentary team in 2009 and 10, calling 14 games. She got to call the dying minutes of the round 17 2009 clash between Geelong and Hawthorn, and it was one of the most passionate and exciting games I can remember – exactly what football commentary should be. Yet Ten made her redundant in 2012. In a sporting culture which presumes the best qualification to call a match is a past ability to play the game, rather than a current ability to provide insight, clarity, and actually call the play as it is happening, perhaps it is no surprise that attitudes like Brown’s persist. Faced with this, it can be extremely difficult to maintain your faith in football when, as a woman, you are constantly told it is not your place. Apparently, in fact, the only place for women is on the arms of men at the Brownlow, being quite literally

turned around and shown off like a rotisserie chicken. So what can you do about this when you’re a staunch feminist, but football is the love of your life? Thankfully, things are changing, albeit slowly. Women are making inroads into the media. While nobody has followed Kelli Underwood into the television commentary box yet, an increasing number of panel football shows feature women. The best of these is Marngrook, a truly diverse and inclusive, Indigenous focused program. But even The Footy Show this year features a woman for the first time, Rebecca Maddern,. It’s almost enough to make up for Sam Newman. Not really. And of course, the AFL is finally launching a women’s competition next year. The players will be paid nothing like the men, and the season looks like it will take place in the heat of summer, but it’s a start. It’s an opportunity for women across the country to prove themselves and their love of footy. It’s also an opportunity for young girls to have a role model they can truly aspire to. No longer will dreams of kicking goals after the siren be crushed as girls grow up.

Forget wanting to learn to kick like Nick Riewoldt, Tayla Harris will be played on highlights packages for years to come. And she can sure teach the boys a thing or two about a perfect follow through. So when men like Jonathan Brown make me question my love of football, it’s women like Tayla Harris who help me remember why I love this game so much. There is no feeling quite like running out on the field in the colours of the mighty Mount Lofty Devils, or screaming with joy alongside 51,000 other Crows tragics. Women’s presence in the world of football is growing and growing, and the Jonathan Browns are going out of date fast. Because I am a feminist, I want to make the game better and more accommodating, so that more women can enjoy football too. The best thing in life are shared, after all.

When she’s not slowly covering the world in glitter by osmosis, Holly can be found on student radio program On A Queer Night.

FOUR MEN’S THINGS MORE EQUAL THAN WOMEN’S WORDS BY: MICHAEL A MCGR ATH

Already earning less than our male counterparts, why is it that women also pay more for the lady versions of the same products? In recent years the issue of the ‘pink tax’ has been gaining momentum. It used to be a well kept secret of industries worldwide, but this facet of inequality has finally reached the forefront of consumer attention. It is more expensive to be a woman, and I think we can all agree that being financially penalised for our gender is pretty damn unfair. Ranging from play toys for children all the way to everyday necessities, brands across the board have been painting versions of their products pink in a weak effort to brand them as feminine. Apparently, this also gives free-reign to up the prices. Here is a few examples of these items, and how you can get them for cheap, simply by grabbing the nearly identical ‘men’s version’.

TOYS: NERF

HAIR REMOVAL: VEET

Male: $7.99 Female: $9.99

Male: $6.33 Female: $10.38

Taking advantage of long ingrained distinction between ‘girls toys’ and ‘boys toys’ Nerf is starting us off young. In recent years Nerf has released their Nerf Rebelle range. Not only segregating young girls from the previously one-size-fits-all toys, but also charging them more using the dreaded pink tax. While a packet of 12 regular Nerf bullets retails at Toys’R’ Us for $7.99, the Nerf Rebelle counterpart retails at a pricier $9.99. With the same foam body and soft plastic head, are we honestly supposed to believe that some patterns on a purple or pink shade are worth 16 cents more per bullet?

The past few years have seen the rise of manscaping and an increase in the popularity of male grooming products. Veet has bought into this ever expanding niche and rightly so. Not so great is the fact that they have also bought into the trend of charging women more for similar products. At Coles, the pretty pink Veet In Shower Hair Removal Cream goes for $10.38 per 100 grams, while the Veet For Men Hair Removal Cream sells for $6.33 per 100 grams. Pretty shocking if you ask me.

DEODORANT: DOVE

UNDERWEAR: CALVINS

Male: $3.03 Female: $3.21

Male: $60.00 Female: $73.00

Wrapping up with an example of the necessity that is deodorant, Dove are no stranger to a sneaky price increase for us ladies. “Generously” offering a range of deodorants under their men’s and women’s categories the brand unfortunately can’t come to terms with equal prices for all. At Coles, Dove Antiperspirant Invisible Dry spray sells for $3.21 per 100ml. Comparatively, Dove Men’s Antiperspirant Invisible Dry spray is marked $3.03 per 100ml. A pretty clear pattern is emerging here.

Renowned for their basic Modern Cotton range, Calvin Klein are also guilty of the price hike for lady versions. Take, for example, a three pack of Klein’s women’s briefs, retailing on ASOS for $73.00. Compare this to the three pack of men’s briefs, at the permanent 17% discounted price of $60.00. I guess #MyCalvins are worth more than Calvin’s Calvins? (The Eds would like to add here that men’s briefs are so much more comfortable it’s like your butt is getting a nice warm hug all through the night, so there’s that too).

Maybe you’re angered, infuriated, even slightly annoyed by all this, that is a justified response. Maybe you’re rolling your eyes at the seemingly miniscule repercussions of charging more for “feminine” products. To you I remind you that this is a trickle down effect of a much larger oppression. By quite literally buying into this demonstration of inequality we stand by and give those in power the right to disadvantage women yet again. I urge all of you to fight back. Whether by boycotting these products for their male counterparts or by spreading the message, do not allow the big brands to cash in on what is a structure of oppression at its very core. Michaela has a borderline unhealthy relationship with almond milk cappuccinos.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH WOMEN (NOT LIKE A STALKER) WORDS BY: NADINA PAINE ART WORK BY: R ACHEL WONG

‘Women can’t be funny,’ I hear you say. Hmm, well my friend, I am going to tell you a thing or two about my favourite Australian comedians. Because you know what? Women are hilarious and I love them all for their wit and dedication to breaking into a male-dominated industry. I’ll give you a fair warning, a lot of this article is a love letter to some of my favourite funny ladies. Sorry, not sorry. Kitty Flanagan, Judith Lucy, Denise Scott, Hannah Gadsby, Fiona O’Loughlin, and Denise Drysdale. A tiny selection of an ever growing bunch of Aussie comedic talent. The female cast of Black Comedy are standouts too, adding a female voice to the acerbic wit of a solely Indigenous cast. I have been trying to think what makes these women so brilliant, some kind of defining feature or common theme, and in the end, it’s just that they’re really really funny. Also, most men just can’t relate to topics such as awkward sexual encounters, periods, and boobs. There are the old classics, Kath and Kim for example. The foxy ladies in the Aussie suburbs, doing all the Aussie suburban things; Kath power walks, Kim bitches, and Sharon plays sport, in a completely

deadpan mockery of our own lives. The hilarious careers of Magda Szubanski, Gina Riley, and Jane Turner have continued with multiple successes (as long as we don’t talk about Kath and Kimderella which never happened, ok). Kath and Kim managed to include a level of relatability for every viewer, and not just Australians, it enjoyed success in America too. Other brands of Aussie female comedy are out there now as well, for example, Rosie Waterland’s writing for the Mamamia online magazine, with her most popular articles being humourous recaps of The Bachelor reality television show. I have never watched The Bachelor, and I never intend to, but thanks to these reviews I can laugh at it instead of cringe. And how can we discuss female comedy without mentioning the infamous Rebel Wilson? Her role as Fat Amy in the Pitch Perfect franchise has made her famous. I find Rebel’s type of funny doesn’t hit the spot, with most of her punchlines being self-abusive, and relating to her waistline, boys, and food. Not so much my style but you do you. In the end, two ladies have stolen my heart and laughs, with my favourite Aussie comedians at this time being Kate McCartney and Kate

McLennan. The two Kates are the writers, directors, and stars in their increasingly popular web series The Katering Show. Kate McCartney has an incredibly impressive writing record for comedy, working on many popular Australian skit shows as guest and head writer. Kate McLennan does stand up and the two of them have worked together on other projects such as the web series Bleak. In short, Kate and Kate are, in my humble opinion, absolutely fucking hilarious and you should go and look them up right now. They have mastered a unique style of off-beat humour, and I love everything about it. Women aren’t funny? Excuse me, try telling that to their 2015 Australian Writers Guild award. In the end, it seems the not funny women myth should definitely be debunked by now. There’s so much to choose from, with some of the best being created right here in Australia. I have an assignment due tomorrow, so I’m off to binge watch Black Comedy, but hopefully this commentary helps someone else out there fall in love with these ladies as much as I have. Nadina is an unashamed horse lover and enjoys making terrible puns. I mean how can it be helped after growing up with a surname like Paine? Find her blog at wordpaineting.wordpress.com

REEL EQUALITY

WORDS BY: CELIA CLENNET T ART WORK BY: R ACHEL WONG

BECHDEL TEST The commandments of the Bechdel test are: 1. It has to have at least two women in it 2. who talk to each other 3. about something besides a man. What makes this rule so popular is that despite how simple the commandments seem to be, there is a surprising list of films that do not pass the Bechdel test. Avatar, Lord of the Rings, and the original Star Wars trilogy to name a few. Moreover, upwards of 50% of 2015’s top blockbusters also fail this test. But fret not; here is still hope! As time progresses, more and more films are working harder on their characters and scoring higher on the Bechdel scale. THE FEMALE PROTAGONIST Hollywood is becoming more experimental with superhero movies, straying away from the conventional Superman, Spiderman and Batman franchises: from mainstream heroes to small characters, such as

Ant Man, and R rated, fourth-wall breaking heroes such as Deadpool. With these successes, there may be hope for female superheroes. But that doesn’t mean that every movie with a superchick is bound to be the ultimate feminist dream. Catwoman, for example, was a movie flop despite its big cast, big budget, and one of its kind at the time. Halle Berry’s Catwoman may pass the Bechdel test, but it still fails in terms of female empowerment due to several other factors. The overly sexualised costume, pointless love interest, and poor direction weren’t outweighed by the dominatrix appeal. The film was one of Berry’s biggest regrets, better known for her heroic performance as Storm in the X-Men films. ACTRESSES’ EXPERIENCES Another measure to judge female empowerment in films is by hearing

the experiences of actresses and their thoughts on the topic. Earlier this month I interviewed Christie Laing, best known for her roles in Once Upon a Time and Arrow. She had plenty of positive things to say about the future of women in acting: ‘I’m excited to see more women in the forefront of things…it’s great to meet these women who play these really cool kickass superheroes and are starting to lead.’ She also mentioned that ‘the roles you are play, a journalist or a detective or a lawyer or a mum, they are so much cooler and [have] so much more going on.’ Although Carrie Fisher originally hated being Princess Leia in the first trilogy (due to George Lucas’s

taste in costumes), her return in Star Wars Episode 7 saw much more empowering representation of female characters. She also took a strong stand against sexism in the industry when she fired back at body shamers, who mocked her for looking older than 19 in Star Wars Episode 7. So it’s not just Leia’s character and representation, but also the actress herself that are advancing the position of women in Hollywood.

the Invisible Woman for Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. She went as far as to say it made her want to stop acting. Perhaps it didn’t help when the director asked ‘Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica.’ In order to preserve her pretty face, they CGI’d the tears on. Who knew CGI wasn’t just about explosions?

On the other hand, there are negative experiences. Katherine Heigl found her role as Alison in Knocked Up to be extremely sexist. Due to this, she now works semiexclusively in romantic comedies.

There are some examples where the reverse of the Bechdel test for men does not pass. A potential upcoming movie that could possibly meet this criteria is Ghostbusters. It presents four female main characters who play powerful roles, with a male secretary, Chris Hemsworth, aka Thor, challenging gender stereotypes

Another example is Jessica Alba, who didn’t like her second turn as

COUNTER EXAMPLES

within the film. The announcement of the secretary brings sighs of relief to many, who feared the all-female cast would jeopardise the integrity of the original franchise - an ironically sexist fear in and of itself. From one perspective you can see the addition of Chris Hemsworth as an attempt to break up an all-female cast, and somehow ‘salvage’ the movie with at least 1 popular male. But on the other hand, the addition of a male character allowed more exploration of female stereotypes throughout the film similar to an attractive woman in an all-male cast film.

We are very proud of Celia for not making a single pun in this article. It couldn’t have been easy. Thank you Celia.

CONSERVATIVE WOMAN, NO SUCH THING? WORDS BY: R ACHAEL INGLETON

First, let me get this out there. I’m a female, and I support conservative politics. What did you say? A conservative female? I’ve never heard of such a thing – a female can’t be conservative! Well here’s a reality check for you – you can be. Being a female and supporting the politics I do has never been a struggle for me. What I choose to believe in is exactly that: a choice. But it seems today that being a female means that I can’t support the Liberal, Tory or Republican parties. Well, that’s the way the Left tell it anyway. My conservative colleagues have never seen my gender as an issue – in fact I’ve been encouraged to participate, and have been given as many opportunities as my male counterparts. Those opportunities weren’t given because I was a woman, by the way, but because I earned them on merit. My lack of pursuing them has never been about gender, it’s simply the fact that my aspirations are legal not political. Nonetheless, being a female is a complete non-issue in

the eyes of every Young Liberal I know. My ideology has never been an issue for me either. The belief that femininity and Conservative ideology are mutually exclusive is founded on reductionist reasoning and completely negates my – dare I say it – ability to think for myself. I subscribe to many conservative agendas: the deregulation of education, our continual attachment to the Monarchy, and responsible economic management. I also subscribe to many other things: being a female, being a writer, being a student and being a humanist. None of these concepts have proven incongruent to me as they’ve simply become a part of my development as a person. To tell the truth, the only people who seem to have a problem with me being right wing and a female are those on the Left. It seems that being a female is now a catchall card for the Left to push their own agendas. If they’d stop naval gazing they’d soon see that predetermining where I belong on the political

spectrum by virtue of being a woman is just as disenfranchising as saying that I shouldn’t vote because I’m a woman. Ringing any bells? This is by far the greatest challenge I’ve faced on campus, and I know I’m not alone. The tendency for the Left to reduce an individual to one characteristic – such as being a woman or being a Muslim – is profound. It seems that by marginalising us based upon one part of who we are is their preferred modus operandi. It’s quite telling if you ask me, and of course, just as bigoted as they allege us to be. So do me and many other women a favour – let us determine for ourselves what we choose to believe in. Being a female has never debilitated me, and I’ve succeeded that all that I have as a person, not an affirmative action charity case. So stop trying to make me one.

Rachael holds an M.D from watching so much Grey’s Anatomy, although she probably shouldn’t quit her day job.

DON’T FEED THE FEMINIST ART WORK BY: ANNABEL CR ABB ELLE DIT ISSUE 59, NO. 12 (1991)

MEETINGS/ PARTINGS WORDS BY: MANDY LI ‘hello.’ a greeting tugged asunder by the flow and flux of crowds swirling between us: you begin to drift

snatched smiles and promises, the first inkings of a story we might share, before you leave on wings i’ll never wear

you return; with flying feet, we race across the hourglass sands, then i hear your retreating steps again

‘hello?’ straining against tired lines, scintillations dim, they darken; your voice leaves a fading print in the air

standing toe-to-toe with you, receding wave, i remain here onshore landbound.

A WARNING TO THOSE WHO LOVE ME WORDS BY: CL ARY TERELL ‘I have a heartbreak aesthetic,’ I say, wearing last night’s eyeliner Never happy unless I’m miserable Addicted to caffeine and self-destruction— I can only ever be bad for you Love’s just another chemical And kindness is too nebulous to stand firm on I fall too often and too far Into a certain kind of cruelty A casual callousness I could break you so easily I’d dress you up in my ideas, Lipstick and mascara, And wait until the moment I can tear it all off you Tear you down As much as I wish I’d build you up I’m not a foundation for anything This is a warning: As much as I love you— And I do love you— There’s nothing that can save me from myself Or you, if you join me here In the night time In the coffee dregs and dirty underwear Week old dishes and unmade bed Depressive poverty bohemian bullshit Doesn’t agree with a happy relationship So choose me, but know that I’m a bad decision The beginning of your descent Grasping, dragging you down Old bones on the ocean floor

BLOG THE MAN REPELLER REVIEW BY: LUR ALGHUR ABI 5/5 | When I hear fashion blogs, I usually think of places where all the handbags were distributed as part of a PR campaign, the outfits are identical across continents, and everyone, for some reason, likes to wear skorts with a tucked in Zara shirt while posing looking shyly at the ground, as if unaware of the hired photographer’s presence. The Man Repeller is a fashion blog that breaks that stereotype. First off, it’s not a website about attractive fashion, not something that’s easy on the eyes or could win you a Harper’s Bazaar’s Best Dressed Award. On the contrary; it’s a blog about dressing as you goddamn please whether other people like it or not. And more often than not, this will result in outfits that ‘repel’ the opposite gender, and that’s where the fun begins.

Sequin pants. Giant earrings with Nefertiti’s face on them. Skirts that look like $1 party decorations. Bras over tuxedo shirts. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as you are feeling it. The thing about fashion, or consumerism in general, is that we are always dressing to maintain a certain image we’d like others to see. But in the midst of trends, magazines, runways and hashtags, we can easily forget that fashion isn’t about what others think of you; it’s about self expression, with ‘self’ being the key word. The Man Repeller will push you to make your clothes more true to who you are, while not letting you forget that clothes, with all their colours, textures, and vibes, are there for you to have fun with them, not hide behind.

MUSIC NEXT THING | FR AN KIE COSMOS REVIEW BY: NICOLE WEDDING

4/5 | Frankie Cosmos, the stage name of 22-year-old Greta Kline, makes music that feels like a diary entry: unpretentious, nostalgic and - most importantly – unflinchingly honest. If new album Next Thing is anything to go by, the DIY ethic she’s come to be known for since 2014 studio debut Zentropy is alive and well. Kline isn’t known for musical complexity, and that’s part of her charm. But at times, the lo-fi pop tracks on Next Thing are even simpler than her previous work, with arrangements occasionally running the risk of being too bare. It’s lucky, then, that Kline is a natural lyricist: every line feels poetic, trivial grievances and all. Her stream-of-consciousness style means listeners are privy to everything, from bug bites on vacation to her feelings of warmth when she sees her friends in love.

The stories come with plenty of skip-along-the-street moments, too: “Floated In”, “I’m 20” and “Sinister” are all immediately likeable tunes. Angst is less pronounced on this record than previous ones, and when it does appear, it tends to be assuaged by other observations like on “Embody”, where she resents the transparency of her own emotions, but finds it endearing in other people. It’s easy to see why one would label Next Thing as an album ‘about youth’, but that betrays the universality of Kline’s observations. Frankie Cosmos has always known exactly who she is; it just so happens that she’s young.

MAGAZINE WOMAN KIND REVIEW BY: NATALIE CARFOR A 4/5 | I recently received a subscription to this magazine for my birthday and I am absolutely thrilled. Womankind is an Australian magazine, but it has contributors and influence from the UK and the US as well. Each issue is themed and the first one to arrive in my mailbox is Issue 8 ‘Egypt.’ The past themes make me want to read their backlog, my favourites including Japan, Frida, Fish (?!), and Italy. Womankind interviews women who have had different experiences with the Egyptian Revolution, from street artists to maids, and photographers who capture the Revolution in different ways. The history component is strong, with discussion about the archaeological studies that have taken place in Cairo over the years, questioning

whether these objects should ethically remain in their European museum homes. Breaking from the theme, there are some features including short opinion pieces, facts about dogs (let’s be real I was won over by this page), and a regular section in which twelve contributors respond to a challenge that the magazine has given them, in this issue the challenge was ‘declutter.’ My favourite aspect of the magazine is the design. It is just beautiful, with gorgeous patterned backgrounds behind articles and watercolour illustrations accompanying the articles. The spreads are the sort that make you just want to stare for awhile until they soak into your subconscious. Find your copy where all good magazines are sold and procrastinate your next assignment with me.

FOOD KUCHI DELI PARWANA REVIEW BY: KAROLIN KA DAWIDZIAK-PACEK

4/5 | Kuchi is a vibrant, small Afghan eatery on Ebenezer Place, just off Rundle Street (approx. 10 minutes walk from uni). It’s run by the children of the refugee owners of Parwana Restaurant, the most famous Afghan eatery in Adelaide. As you walk in, the turquoise blue tiles with geometric patterns, combined with the spicy rich scents of Afghan food, draw you in. A jug of water with slices of cucumber, or perhaps quarters of orange, sits on the counter, crisscrossed with diamond patterns of oranges, reds, and peacock motifs. The servers greet you with a smile, and point towards the menu. Behind them, you can see the food being freshly cooked and plated. All around the small restaurant are little signs of Afghanistan, from photos of landscapes, black-and-white mustached men, to mini glass Coke bottles, all lined up neatly.

The menu has staples of Afghan cuisine, ranging from curries to bolani (flatbread stuffed with leeks). There are vegetarian options available, such as the delectable eggplant fall apart in your mouth. The price is around $14-18 per dish, so a bit more than your average lunch, but each dish has a lot more than your average amount of spices and flavor, and easily fills you up. If you choose to dine in, the food will be brought to you on traditional Afghan plates with colourful patterns, each plate unique. The food itself is just as wonderfully presented – even some pickles in the corner add colour to an already vibrant curry. So, if you want a unique lunch, head to Kuchi, where the traditional homemade food and atmosphere will delight you!

RANTSPACE WORDS BY: ARTEMISIA GENTILESCHI

10 MINI-RANTS ABOUT MY LIFE AS A WOMAN 1. tfw I am too scared to walk places at night even when I K NOW it’s gonna be f ine and I K NOW that I should be able to but I still can hear that suspense movie music in my brain. 2. Generally, bras: having to wear bras and own bras and pay for expensive bras and when my boobs are too big for really nice pretty bras and the fact that today I couldn’t f ind my beige bra so I had to wear a coloured bra inside out so you couldn’t see it through my clothes. 3. The internal battle I experience in my head ever ytime I shave my underarms and legs that goes between ‘UGH this is so DUMB that I have to do this and if I was Jack I wouldn’t have to UGH’ and ‘my legs are really nice and soft now I can’t tell if I really prefer this or if I have just been brainwashed.’ 4. Ask me what goes through my head every time that someone says ‘I’m not a feminist, I’m an equalist.’ Seriously, when Abbi and Ilana said that from Broad City I almost cried. 5. Dealing with periods and period paraphernalia and cramps and bursting into tears when I see a small busking boy singing in Rundle Mall and eating a 10 pack of Kinder chocolate bars in a

single sitting followed by the pure joy of having clear underwear... 6. …that vanishes as soon as my mind immediately ticks over to ‘oh my god I am pregnant’ and then every quiver in my body is immediately the unborn foetus doing backf lips or something until I do an (unnecessary I mean I utilise like multiple types of protection) pregnancy test. 7. When I was a kid I really hated pink and mostly didn’t like ‘girl toys’ and I always hated the girl themed lucky dips and always had to pick from the boy ones to avoid pink ‘girl toys’ and the gendering of toys is just so stupid. 8. I hate when I see boys you know get into relationships in Facebook or get engaged and their friends are like ‘you were brave soldier, good bye’ or like ‘another fellow comrade defeated’ like ARE YOU STUPID you are actively a part of the relationship entering process why are you saying such stupid stuff like the girl hoodwinked you with her evil vagina magic STOP IT PLEASE!

9. It’s so dumb that men can just wander into their local Harvey Norman on a sunny Sunday afternoon and force me to shop for appliances with their hairy beer belly jigglin’ in my face. You’re in a public place that is not the beach. 10. When I am at work and customers don’t take me seriously and ask to speak to one of the other staff and then when my male co-workers say ‘yeah we can’t do that’ suddenly it’s all g they’re happy to believe them why do I have to PROVE my expertise why can people not just trust me when I am right I just want to be taken seriously what do I have to do to get this to happen? Is it my face? Do I need to wear more Adult Woman Make Up? What?!

MISS L’S CORRESPONDENCES

ON RADICALS AND AMAZONS

Issue 6 (Elle Dit Edition): After a noticeable absence in the previous edition, this edition promises to deliver a modicum of bad taste (unless, like the majority of women’s opinions; they get edited out) especially appealing to all the bad bitches out there (I doubt that will make it). Mr Stables has decided to leave this edition entirely up to Miss L, but it’s not going to make much of a difference anyway. And much like the consideration of women’s rights in a majority of history, the original questions are not given WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING? Floria – Don’t give up hope because you feel like no one is listening to what you say. Be loud and proud. Always remember there are people worse off; if you really want to know what it feels like to have no one listen to you just ask someone who is part of student radio.

Anais – Look everyone is entitled to their own opinion no matter how radical it is. Getting angry and wishing that ‘all those [expletives] fuck off and die’ is in no way going to change them nor help you. Your best bet is probably to move to a village in remote South Sudan because you won’t find any feminists there. Vanessa – Hi Vanessa, with regards to your question about amazons, I think that if you put a group of men up against the raging amazon they’d have no chance. The Amazon River is vast and treacherous with piranhas; without proper training this hypothetical group of male ‘explorers’ will surely fall victim to the perilous waters and raging currents. Brooklyn – Women and your trust issues ... should really see a lawyer. While I know somethings about the law of equity, I’m probably not the best port of call regarding your breach of trust. Madeline – Hi Madeline, no wonder people are disgusted by you,

I mean what on earth compelled you to piss on the floor in the middle of a lecture theatre instead of the toilet? Yeah you say ‘oh don’t tell me what to do because it’s completely natural’, well yes you’re right, but it’s not socially acceptable. Claire – The glass ceiling is not something that I’ve really thought of before, but now that you mention it I really love the idea. It would be so great if I could lie in bed and look at the stars. OF MICE AND STRAW MEN Haley – I think that what you’ve said is degrading and without forethought, and I am NOT ok with that. How dare you say all men are pigs, because they’re not –some of them are dirty fucking rats as well. Rianne – Well, the short answer is that men are the problem for everything. Why are women’s rights arguments often met with straw men arguments? Because men have no reasonable response to women’s arguments. Why are there very few women in positions of power? Because women aren’t given many opportunities by the patriarchal society. Why aren’t there more women as plumbers? Because a dirty shitty job like that is for men. Why is global warming happening? Because goddamn it there are fucking men in the world.

DODGY CRAFTS WITH MADDY & EM WORDS BY: MADDY SEXTON AND EMILY HART ART WORK BY: EMILY HART

ANGRY PAPER FLOWERS These flowers are essentially paper pom poms, which we’ve covered already, but… screw you. They’re overused at fancy 21sts and weddings but… screw you. They look sick and we want to make them and we are full of rage and beer and white line fever. Also, the end game is to make a fancy chandelier with no illuminating features (apart from lighting up your life). INGREDIENTS: RAGE (optional) Coloured crepe/ tissue paper (or newspaper for political edge/ laziness Sticky tape Scissors String Straws (LINDA BELCHER VOICE), ALRIGHT:

1. Lay 6-8 pieces of your chosen

paper in a pile and concertina fold the paper back and forth upon itself until you have a fan-like wad of

paper. Sticky tape the center of your fan together so that you have paper butterfly. Crafty. With your scissors and your inner feminine floral flair, cut the ends of the butterfly wad into a petal-y shape.

around the center. Thread a straw onto this length of string and then tie the string to the center of one of your other flowers. Connect all four of your flowers this way until you have a straw/string flower square.

2. Fan out the folds of your butterfly

5. Cut four equal lengths of string

and start peeling the layers like an onion (who read that book in school? @shrek… hello) up and towards the sticky tape centre. By now, your rage should have been superseded by the emergence of your feminine floral flair and the shape should start looking more pom pom-flowery.

3. Once you have made one

pom pom flower abomination… make THREE MORE! Stomp on something too, for good measure. *For Fancy Crafters™ you could use multiple colours or varied petal shapes/ lengths between your flower sheets for a less abstract floral effect.

4. Time to make a chandelier from

which to swing. Choose one of your flowers and tie a long length of string

and attach each of these to the center of each of the flowers as well. Thread two straws onto each string and then tie all of the strings together at the top to form a pyramid shape. You should now be able to hold the string at the top and see your glorious chandelier shape. Hang it from a high place! Wow. Done. *** We at Dodgy Crafts strongly advocate the addition of many other things to your chandelier including (but not limited to): Cocktail umbrellas (piña colada vibe) Parachute men (politics and current affairs) Bottle caps (shiny)works.