Issue 91.7

ISSUE 91.7

Welcome Welcome

Thank

Kathers Anderson

Louise Jackson

Sebastian Andrew

Sienna Sulicich

Cover Art

Voltaic by Arantza Garcia

Graphic Design

Sienna Sulicich

Lily Baxter

Art

Sienna Sulicich

Arantza Garcia @ari_garcia0

Anna Nguyen @artbyanguyen

Louise Jackson

Kathers Anderson

Contributors and Sub-Editors

Arantza Garcia

Asirah Abdul Kadir

Charlotte Whincup

Devanshi Shah

Edward Gilchrist

Ellie Venning

Emily Kelsall

Emily Miller

Lily Baxter

Loki MALOREAN

Mandy Williams

We want to acknowledge that the University of Adelaide’s On Dit is written and created upon Kaurna land. The Kaurna People are the traditional custodians of the Greater Adelaide Plains and their culture, knowledge, and spiritual connections continue to run deeply within this Country. We acknowledge that the University of Adelaide is a place of learning attended by First Nations People from around the continent and, like Kaurna, their land and sovereignty was never ceded. We pay our deepest respects to the Elders of the past, present, and emerging.

arson baby

Sen’s big quiz

The growth of Germanys far right

Lou Shit happens Embriodery

your confessions pt. 2

Dumbphones 4 Dummies

Let’s talk tram

Kathers Mushroom Time

How rory became the most unlikeable character on gimore girls

LOu Don’t be a dick Embriodery

akhapost

Mobile Phones in Schools vs parliaments

craft Corner

E D I T O R I A L

Hi all, and welcome to Issue 91.7! Seb and Sen here – bringing to you our current trials and tribulations. We hope you’re all keeping your heads above water.

You may have noticed a notice of elections for the YouX Board and the Student Representative Council in our last issue. From late August to early September you will witness all of stupol venturing out of the dark places they lurk (this includes Student Media!), surfacing in attempts to gain votes for the student elections.

Myself, Sienna, Kathers, and Lou ran for the position of On Dit editors in last year’s Student Media elections. Being elected was a rather gratifying experience. At the same time, it was disheartening that only 251 students voted. The turnout for SRC and YouX Board elections was higher, but no contest for any position received more than 2,000 votes. Less than 2,000 people voted, out of 27,000 students. That’s less than 10% of the student body having voted.

It may be easy to view student politics as a circus where those who’ve peaked in university gather to squabble and posture, but elected student bodies really can make a difference. The SRC decides how to advocate on issues on behalf of the student body (whether it be on issues directly affecting students, or broader issues of student concern). The YouX board decides how their allocation of Student Services and Amenities Fees (fees paid by students to fund certain university services) can be used for the betterment of the student experience. Student media provides a platform for student voices, keeps students updated on current events, and helps shape opinions.

If you’re an enrolled student, you’re already affected by YouX decisions as we all pay SSAF (if you don’t, I won’t snitch). If you’re in a club, you’re impacted by YouX. Even if you don’t think it, these bodies impact your time at Uni.

So with that in mind, take a few minutes to vote. - Seb

We’ve reached peak burnout season (my favourite time of year). It’s hard to get going in a 8 week/break/4 week semester, the finish line is a bit far for my liking. My creativity is low, but not low enough to not draw some whack doodles. On Dit has been good for me in that way — I’ve been forced to pick up the pen; I suppose it’s been the same for uUni.

I always wanted to write, but never felt like I had the chance or anything important to say. Now, I’m forced to write everyday. Is it mainly garbage? YES. Unfortunately, that has been on display. Yet, each time I feel like it’s a little less garbage than the time previous.

So with that sentiment in mind, just keep going. You’re going to write some garbage and you’re not always going to do your best, but that’s completely okay. Powering through tough times is a brave feat;, please don’t beat yourself up about not always hitting the mark.

We’re so close! I can taste my own desperation and it’s only adding fuel to the burnt-out fire. Maybe I can reignite something, maybe you can too. - Sen

We’ve only got three issues to go this year. A short hustle, in the scheme of things. From both of us, we wish you all the best! Strap in and goodluck.

SRC President’s

To say we’re seeing changes in our higher education system is an understatement. Between the Uni merger, the Accords, and COVID policy changes, it feels like it’s getting harder and harder for students at the University of Adelaide to envision what completing their degree will look like. Here’s some of the key updates happening around the place.

Let’s go top-down and start with the Accords. On July 19, the Interim Report of the Australian Universities Accords was released. If you’re not aware, the Accords are a 12 month long review into Australia’s higher education system. It aims ‘to devise recommendations and performance targets that will improve the quality, accessibility, affordability and sustainability of higher education, in order to achieve long term security and prosperity for the sector and the nation’.

A huge win for students in the interim report is the immediate action to end the 50% pass rule introduced by the Morrison Government as part of the Job Ready Graduates Package. This rule has particularly disadvantaged vulnerable students from regional and low SES backgrounds and sought to penalise them rather than support them through their studies. Failing your classes no longer risks the cancellation of your HECS.

The SRC will look to provide feedback on the Interim Report’s considerations, alongside the National Union of Students and other student unions across the country. Students are strong when they speak together, and we intend to get our message across about the Universities Accords changing our education for the better.

The next big thing on everyone’s mind is the Universities merger. Writing this in July, I am unsure what progress will have been made by the time this issue is in your hands - but I am sure that the SRC will be advocating for the interests of students every step of the way. We have previously provided a submission to our University during the feasibility stage, have provided a submission to the SA Parliamentary Joint Committee into the Creation of Adelaide University, and provided feedback on the draft Adelaide University Act. We’re pushing for an embedded student voice - we are the experts on the student experience and we deserve greater representation on University Council. Ex-Liberal Senators and Big 4 bosses have attacked and moulded universities to fit their own interests for far too long. Council membership should consist of those with expertise in the university sector, including us as students.

We’re also fighting for legislation that mandates the existence of a student union - the Adelaide University Union. We have an opportunity to empower a new student union that honours our rich history of student unionism at UofA, corrects past poor decisions that worked against student interests, and forges a new path forward to exciting campus culture and activism.

On a local level, changes to University policy following COVID-19 continue occuring and can impact you and your studies. As of July 1, when applying for a modified assessment arrangement (an extension on that essay you procrastinated, a replacement exam, an additional assessment, etc.), you can no longer submit a personal statement with a signed declaration in lieu of a medical/health certificate.

There’s lots happening, and we’re here to help you understand it. Myself and the SRC are available to assist with any questions, concerns or issues. Please don’t hesitate in reaching out for a coffee or chat.

Editors' Picks

Editors' Picks

Fav spots in Adelaide

I love the Adelaide CBD. It’s not too big, and to me, not too small. One of my favourite places is the Crown and Anchor (Cranker). It’s cosy, band-friendly, and offers cheap drinks on Wednesday nights. I also have a huge appreciation for the absence of pokies and the clientele that comes with them.

Some of my favourite nights out have been at the Cranker, watching my favourite local bands rock it out on stage. I’m not a fan of the strobe lights pointing directly into the crowd, but each to their own!

Most of the patrons are weird and wonderful people who all connect with each other through their love of live music or dank pubs, and you’ll often find artists joining the ranks. Comedians flock there for Tuesday Cranker Comedy.

It’s a great place to study during the day since it’s quiet (and has heaters outside for those chilly winter days), a jukebox for you to play your favourite tunes, and a dart board and two good pool tables if you feel like a game.

Honourable mention to the Grace Emily, another dank pub in Adelaide. While the Cranker is found east, the Grace Emily is in the western reaches of the CBD. They host live music, quizzes, and are also pokies-free. The thing that the Grace does better than the Cranker is their absolutely rocking beer garden, which is a lovely place to spend a sunny afternoon.

Image:TimeOut.com

Once again, I may be bending the rules with this one, but a ‘place’ is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as ‘a particular region’, so I’m going to say that I’m okay. Following that definition, I’d have to nominate a stretch of North Terrace - from UniSA City West Campus, to Parliament House, as my favourite place in Adelaide. Not the most conventional idea of a ‘favourite place’, I know.

I find the northwestern CBD relaxing and fruitful to traverse at night, but this particular stretch of street steals my heart. The light foot and car traffic creates a quiet atmosphere in which I can decompress (usually I’ve just been in a packed auditorium attending a talk). Both Uni of Adelaide’s and UniSA’s health buildings line the street opposite. They stand so tall and bright, their lit windows dazzling in the night. I struggle to put words to it, but these buildings inspire a sense of comforting loneliness. To top it all off, there’s a lovely little OTR near the end of the street. Nothing better than a late-night donut to end a beautiful walk.

Looking to stretch your legs and experience more of this wonderful city we call home? The Editors today bestow upon you our favourite places in Adelaide. Once you’ve finished reading, why not go see what all the fuss is about?

The city feels rather drab for me. My favourite hideaways always involve good food and a cosy setting, something that takes you away from the hustle and bustle. I’m a bit of a food snob, so buckle in for a few of my favourites that make the city worth the scene.

Two-Bit Villains is a delicious little eatery located in the Adelaide Arcade. It’s vegan friendly and super cute, with homemade sodas and old-fashioned spiders for those who need a little nostalgia hit.

Another fav is a pub called Hotel Longtime on Grote Street. The pink interior really makes me feel at home (shhhh, I’m a princess) and the share-style goodies never fail to hit the spot. Wonderful Vietnamese fusion food with some yummy cocktails to match!

For those who aren’t food orientated, Curiositeas on Rundle Street is super cosy. Pot tea for two, anyone? The venue is decked out with antique-style furniture and has card games available to play while you have your morning tea. What more could you want?

If I have even an iota of time to kill in the CBD, you will find me with the books. My favourite book location to browse is the newly(ish) remodelled Rundle Mall Dymocks. I’ll always have a soft spot for the many (many many many) hours spent in the cosy Old Dymocks location, but, in its absence, one cannot deny the architectural triumph that is New Dymocks. Like, the architects just won an award for it.

To quote BookTube icon, Jack Edwards, ‘buying books and reading books are two different hobbies’. And boy howdy is that a callout. But even if you’re not there to buy, just browsing the shelves for 30 minutes is a perfectly relaxing break. Now, I just need them to follow in the footsteps of Dymocks Collins Street and add a cafe where you can read your fresh book…

(I’m going to cheat and give you a bonus ‘CBD book place recs based on vibe’: coolest - Dymocks, cosiest - QBD, fancy and second hand - Orchard Bookshop, free-est - City Library)

1. If you could study anything else than what you’re currently studying, what would you choose?

2. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?

3. Which of the seven dwarves best represents your current mood?

VOX POP VOX POP

We asked two UofA students the most pressing questions. If you want to be featured in another issue, email us!

1. I’d do journalism in a heart beat (don’t tell my parents).

2. It changes everyday but because the weather is making me feel melancholic, I’ll say These Days by Nico.

3. I’m vibing with Bashful at the moment, so let’s go with him.

Asirah.she/her

B.Laws

1. I always wanted to be a professional actor so I’d probably be studying theatre!

2. This was really hard! I’m going to go with Gives You Hell by the All American Rejects.

3. I’m not sure if I’m more Sleepy or Grumpy but definitely one of those!

Dalestair.they/them/fae/faer

B.Arts(History/English)

1.Since being elected, the Malinauskas Government has spent millions on reviving or attracting sporting events to South Australia. Do the potential benefits justify this hefty expenditure?

socialist alternative:

Written byRamon O’Donnell

No, South Australians are currently experiencing the worst cost of living crisis in decades, yet Malinauskus is more interested in attracting golf tournaments than addressing unaffordable housing and rising grocery and energy prices. The $40 million being used for these bids should be put towards public housing, welfare and addressing the ramping crisis that has worsened under the state Labor government that was elected to fix it.

GREENS CLUB:

Written by William Pincombe and Michael Petrelli

Cultural and sporting events are great, but elite, expensive, high-profile events are frequently just about propaganda, presenting the image of politicians such as Premier Malinauskas as great providers of festivities. These projects are rarely subjected to the same incisive cost-benefits analysis as initiatives to help people in need.

Liberal club:

Written by Henry Southcott

How can we assess the benefits without knowing the cost? Coming at this from the angle of a huge sports fan, I love that Adelaide is turning into a hub for sport. Sadly all of this expenditure is only for bringing events here temporarily. I would prefer to see some investments into our South Australian teams like bringing back the rams.

labor CLUB:

Written by Steph Madigan

While better sporting venues boost community spirit and grassroots sport development, a cost-benefit analysis is open to doubt. Surely there are more pressing human needs to address, like homelessness, rural water/internet infrastructure etc.? However, the Malinauskas Government has enough integrity to draw the line at hosting the Commonwealth Games, so I believe we’re in safe hands.

2. socialist alternative:

A ‘special zone’ including Rundle Mall and most of North Terrace has been established to crack down on CBD crime. Within this zone, police have such expanded powers as conducting random drug/weapon searches, and banning offenders from certain areas. Do you support these measures?

Liberal CLUB:

Written by Henry Southcott

Written by Ramon O’Donnell

No, this expansion of police powers is an anti-democratic measure that is being justified through a racist law and order campaign claiming a crime wave in the CBD, despite there being no increase in CBD crime rates apart from shoplifting. These expanded powers will make it easier for police to harass and intimidate poor and oppressed people, particularly indigenous people, and should be opposed entirely.

GREENS CLUB:

Written by William Pincombe and Michael Petrelli

Greens Club absolutely deplores the expansion of powers granted to the Police. Random stop and search powers have been condemned by numerous human rights organisations as they lead to racist profiling and oppression of minority groups. Rather than spending more on the police and giving them more powers, the government should be looking at investing in communities and community support programs.

These measures have been in place on Hindley street on Fridays and Saturdays from 6pm to 6am since 2017. They keep people safe from people with drugs or weapons, and a greater police presence from West Terrace to Pultney Street from 10am to 10pm makes the area safe for the families and children present. Only a person who poses a risk to public safety or is offensive and disorderly will be banned for a maximum period of 24 hours.

labor CLUB:

Written by Steph Madigan

No. Expanded police powers increase the potential for abuse of power and racial profiling, particularly when “antisocial behaviour” doesn’t meet the threshold for criminality. Offenders will be displaced into the Parklands or Glenelg where there’s a lack of shelter and essential resources (like foodbanks); then re-entering the CBD can incur a $2,500 fine! The “special zone” does not address underlying causes of crime: it’s a paint job.

South Australia has ‘truth-in-political’ advertising laws applying to state election campaigns. Is it time for the adoption of these laws for future federal election campaigns and referendums, as has been recommended by a parliamentary committee?

socialist alternative:

Written by Ramon O’Donnell

Laws that target campaign ads will do little to positively affect politics in Australia. The problem with politicians isn’t that they aren’t being truthful enough in their campaign ads, but that they administer a system built on exploitation and oppression and carry out the interests of the billionaires who sit at the top of society.

Those who want to fight for a better world shouldn’t waste their time looking to politicians to do anything positive for us, any positive thing that has ever been won was because it was fought for in the streets and in the workplace.

GREENS CLUB:

Written by William Pincombe and Michael Petrelli

Truth in political advertising laws like in SA should absolutely be applied to federal elections and referendums. We should always be careful about how laws impact freedom of speech, but the SA laws rightly only apply to explicit factual claims that are incorrect. People should have the right not to be bombarded with lies when they vote.

Liberal CLUB:

Written by Henry Southcott

Truth and integrity are crucial in the world of politics. Laws like this shouldn’t even have to come across our mind. Some politicians will make claims that they know they can’t possibly follow through on and praying on these false hopes shouldn’t be allowed.

labor CLUB:

Written by Steph Madigan

Absolutely. Refraining from advertising laws on free-speech grounds often has the opposite effect, since one party may dismiss opportunities to communicate with the public if they think the opposition will use their side of the platform to spread misinformation. It’s about time political campaigns are held accountable for the accuracy of their claims.

‘Ugh, Wish I Had An Access Plan‘

Moans Non-Disabled Student Experiencing ‘Devastating‘

Flare-Up Of Swiftie Fever

BREAKING: A non-disabled University of Adelaide student has broken her silence on lacking accommodations for a flare-up of FOMO after failing to score a ticket to Taylor Swift’s sell-out Eras Tour.

Second year Psychology student and dedicated Swiftie Jessica Hastings, 19, who has neither a disability nor ongoing medical condition impacting her study, was overheard ‘whining’ about her ineligibility for an Access Plan, after realising she desperately needs an extension on her assignment due tomorrow.

During a Week 4 tutorial, Ms Hastings, emboldened by Swift’s latest re-recorded album, reportedly uttered, ‘Ugh, wish I had an Access Plan’ to the ire of her classmates with disabilities who wished to remain anonymous.

Speaking to On Dit, Ms Hastings says she has been disadvantaged by her ‘crippling’ adoration of T-Swizzle, despite knowing there would be unprecedented demand to see the twelve-time-Grammy-winning singer-songwriter who scheduled concerts in only two Australian cities, leaving her unable to smash out her first assignment for the semester.

‘I’ve just been having a really tough time these past couple months. It’s been devastating having to come to terms with the fact I won’t get to see my idol in Sydney or Melbourne next year.’

‘I’ve been holed up in bed listening to Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) non-stop and reposting competition giveaways to my Insta story as a Hail Mary.’

Ms Hastings says she finds it frustrating how ‘easy’ it is for students with diagnosed disabilities and chronic conditions to apply for extensions via a ‘simple’ e-mail to the Course Coordinator.

‘If I had clinical depression or anxiety, hell, even diabetes or something, I could just use that as an excuse to give myself an extra five days to get out of this funk. It’s a real pain in the arse to have to go through the MACA process.’

The University’s Disability Support team works with students diagnosed with a disability or ongoing medical condition to develop relevant Reasonable Adjustments to their course as outlined in an Access Plan, the most common being up to 5 calendar day extensions for assignments.

Under s 25 (1)(a) of the Disability Discrimination Act 1992, it is illegal to refuse a student’s application for accommodations on the grounds of their disability, defined under s 4(1) as ‘a disorder or malfunction that results in the person learning differently’ or an ‘illness or disease that affects a person’s thought processes, perception of reality, emotions or judgment’.

Disability Support assists students with a variety of disabilities and medical conditions ‘including, but not limited to’ dyslexia, Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, depression, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, sensory impairments, mobility difficulties, brain injury and temporary injuries like a fractured limb.

Despite her condition not falling under the standard scope of support, Ms Hastings remains ‘hopeful’ that change is imminent for disappointed Swifties.

‘I can see it. If we just keep our eyes open, we can prevent this injustice from happening again next time she goes on tour, but for now, it’s looking like I’ll have to take one for the team with all these late penalties I’m bound to get.’

Frau Troffea was the first. She stepped out of her home in July 1518 and began dancing wildly in the Strasbourg town square. For almost seven days Frau Troffea danced near constantly, occasionally impeded by exhaustion but never by hunger or thirst. The town watched on in confusion, horror, and annoyance as one of history’s most bizarre events unfolded.

Over that week, around thirty people joined the dance, without a lick of music to be heard. Yet.

City officials were understandably concerned about the apparent ‘dancing plague’ hitting Strasbourg. Weird, musicless dancing was really bringing down the respectability of the city. A local doctor suggested the plague might be caused by overheated blood on the brain.

The odd solution officials arrived upon was to add music to the problem. Open-air markets, guild halls and the land next to a horse fair were cleared, and stages erected. The dancers were gathered in these spaces and professional musicians began to play.

This plan backfired wildly, as hundreds fell to the plague and the people of Strasbourg began to dance until they died. Those dancing outside were doing so in the severe August sun – a recipe for heat exhaustion.

City officials pivoted their working explanation to the logical conclusion for any respectable Catholic: the wrath of God or demonic possession! Music and public dancing were banned, and the dancers were taken to a shrine of St Vitus in a nearby grotto. Bleeding feet were shoved into red shoes sprinkled with Holy Water, and the afflicted were led around a statue of the saint to achieve absolution.

Come early September, the city was finally ‘dancing plague’ free.

There are numerous theories as to what might have gone wrong in the city of Strasbourg, as hopefully we can all agree it wasn’t demons.

Theory 1: fungus in the bread

Moist rye provides a fertile breeding ground for the fungus ‘ergot’. Ergotism is caused by this fungus, which produces a chemical related to LSD. Eating contaminated rye bread could cause aggressive twitching and vivid hallucinations. Could this have caused people to dance for days? Probably not. But it has made me more wary of

Theory 2: they were devoutly

This one isn’t hugely popular, but sociologist Robert Bartholomew suggested the plague might instead have been a heretic sect. Heretics were the villains of Catholic society in the Middle Ages, practising beliefs which opposed mainline Christian teachings of the time. The incredible lack of enthusiasm which the dancers seemed to possess and a lack of significant evidence have discounted this theory.

Theory 3: the Curse of St Vitus aka mass hysteria

The year of 1517 was, by all accounts, a really bad time. Crops had failed, religious conflicts were rife, wheat prices were up, syphilis was everywhere. By the summer of 1518, everyone was distressed and over it.

When the plague started, the idea that Strasbourg was cursed by St Vitus (patron saint of dancing) spread even faster than the dancing did. It started small, perhaps the early dancers were devout Catholics who decided to repent from sins. Placing the growing crowd of dancers in public spaces only gave more capacity for this religious paranoia to grow.

One could go home and stress about one’s own sins and become compelled to join the dance. No wonder the world was falling apart, God was punishing them for their sins.

In tears, they danced.

They danced till they died

Europe had been struck by several dancing plagues over the Middle Ages, but Strasbourg would be the last. The Middle Ages were officially over, Henry VIII was about to make life very hard for the Catholic church with the creation of the Church of England, and the printing press was changing the accessibility of information. The social climate that paved the way for dancing plagues just didn’t exist in the same way.

However, Strasbourg 1518 lives on forever in the pop culture it inspired, and the bizarre questions we may never have answers to.

REFERENCES

Bauer, P n.d., dancing plague of 1518, Encyclopaedia Britannica, <https://www.britannica.com/event/dancing-plague-of-1518>.

Waller, J 2018, ‘Keep on moving: the bizarre dance epidemic of summer 1518’, The Guardian, 5 July, <https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/jul/05/bizarre-dance-epidemic-of-summer-1518-strasbourg>.

Louise Jackson

The Gig

Classical Jazz

First Impressions

Australian String Quartet

18/8/2023 @ 12:30pm

Elder Hall, Adelaide

$14 general admission, 25% savings with a Gold Pass subscription

Tickets available from Elder Conservatorium of Music Concert Series website, Lunchtime Concert Season Two

Eroica

Elder Conservatorium Symphony Orchestra

25/8/2023 @ 12:30pm

Elder Hall, Adelaide

$14 general admission, 25% savings with a Gold Pass subscription

Tickets available from Elder Conservatorium of Music Concert Series website, Lunchtime Concert Season Two

A Far Different World

Robert Macfarlane, Stephen Whittington

8/9/2023 @ 12:30pm

Elder Hall, Adelaide

$14 general admission, 25% savings with a Gold Pass subscription

Tickets available from Elder Conservatorium of Music Concert Series website, Lunchtime Concert Season Two

If you’re a student of UofA and have an upcoming gig in May, please email us at onditmag@gmail.com and we’ll include it in our gig guide!

Jazz Duos

Lauren Henderson, Mark Ferguson, Lyndon Gray, Elder Conservatorium Jazz Students

1/9/2023 @ 12:30pm

Elder Hall, Adelaide

$14 general admission, 25% savings with a Gold Pass subscription

Tickets available from Elder Conservatorium of Music Concert Series website, Lunchtime Concert Season Two

Punk-Rock

Unwritten Law (US) ‘The Hum Tour’

Unwritten law

24/8/2023 @ 8pm

Unibar Adelaide, Adelaide

$59.23 from Moshtix

Theatre

Kissing the Witch

University of Adelaide Theatre Guild

13/8/2023 @ 4pm

17/8/2023 @ 6:30pm

18-19/8/2023 @ 7:30pm

20/8/2023 @ 4pm

Little Theatre, Adelaide

$20.00-$25.00

Group bookings for 10+ available at concession rate, tickets available from trybooking. com or at the door (subject to availability)

Festival Guide

Winter Drpout Fest

The Beautiful Monument, Shangrila, Drastic Park, Stabbitha & the Knifey Wifeys, ECDYSIS, Nocturnal Animals, Lumens, Weekend Rage

26/8/2023 @ 4pm

Unibar Adelaide, Adelaide

$38.33 from Moshtix

Papercuts Comic Festival

Creators in Conversation

Gavin Aung Than (WA), Dan McGuiness (SA), K. O’Neill (NZ), Georgina Chadderton (SA), Sarah Firth (Vic), Sarah Searle (WA), Rachel Ang (Vic), Scott Pritchett (Vic), Briar Rolfe (Vic), Ryan K Lindsay (ACT), Jessica Walton (Vic, Scott Wilson (WA)

16/9/2023 @ 10:15am

Studio 01, Adelaide City Library, Adelaide

Talking Pictures (live performance)

16/9/2023 @ 6:30pm

The Braggs lecture theatre, University of Adelaide, Adelaide

Market Day

17/9/2023 @ 11am

Adelaide Town Hall, Adelaide

Workshops

17/9/2023 @ 11am

Adelaide Town Hall, Adelaide

All events are free but bookings essential for some events as places are limited. Find more information at www.papercutscomicsfestival.com

pop/indie

Hannah Stow (WA) ‘Do People Even Like This Stuff?’

Hannah Stow (WA), Callaa (WA), Jethro, Infinities

25/8/2023 @ 8pm

Unibar Adelaide, Adelaide

$20.00-$29.00 from Moshtix

Already Gone

Knight Over Day, Weekend Rage, Broken Waves, Already Gone

27/8/2023 @ 5pm

The Gov, Hindmarsh

$10+BF Presale via Oztix, $15 Door

Choral

Storytelling

Friends from Away

Elder Conservatorium Chorale & Resonance of Birralee (Brisbane), Carl Crossim

OAM, Paul Holley OAM, Peter Ingram, Karl Geiger

26/8/2023 @ 6:30pm

Elder Hall, Adelaide

$20.00-$32.00

Tickets available from Elder Conservatorium of Music Concert Series website, Evening Concert Series

Robodebt:

This week, I began a deep reading of the Robodebt Royal Commission’s Report.

Between 2015 and 2019, successive Australian governments operated an illegal scheme that stole money, opportunities, and lives from Australian citizens. And they regularly passed it off as the victim’s fault.

The scheme retrospectively reached back as far as the 2011-12 financial year, and purported to identify ‘debts’ through a computerised process that ‘found’ discrepancies between fortnightly income reported to Centrelink and annual income recorded by the ATO.

It is difficult to express the scope and scale of the damage Scott Morrison’s tenure as a government minister and Prime Minister has done to Australia’s economy, politics, culture, and social welfare. The Robodebt scheme he championed has seriously undermined and flagrantly flouted many of the core checks and balances of our constitutional democracy.

In 2014, the incoming Abbott-led LNP government leapt at the opportunity to ‘save’ a billion or so dollars from their budgets by ‘recovering overpayments’ from people who had received welfare payments under previous Labor governments. Within weeks of piloting this ‘revenue saving scheme’ in 2015, it was abundantly clear it wasn’t going to save money.

Part Undone.

It quickly became an expensive and punitive machine that scared people away from seeking income support, gouged the incomes of many who were just entering the workforce, and was particularly egregious to long-term welfare recipients. None of this has or is ever likely to be addressed through substantive reparations or compensation.

The Royal Commission was shocked to discover that throughout Robodebt’s conception and operation, ministers and executives systematically evaded responsibility for decisions, and inverted legal relationships within government, and between government and Australians.

The LNP government deliberately evaded drafting new legislation that would make their proposed scheme legal, avoiding a protracted debate in Parliament. They also refused to stop it when it became obvious it was illegal, causing direct harm, and failing to deliver the claimed policy objectives.

Instead, the scheme nearly achieved its true purpose: destroying Australia’s social welfare system.

Loki Maelorin

Sometimes I get horny and I have to bust a nut, makes me feel guilty afterwards

I think I‘m starting to realise that I‘m not suited to be a wife

My best friend is currently dating my ex and I am actually fine with it!

I secretly have a crush on my ex-religion teacher

Your Confessions:

I hate kids

I had a ‘moment‘ with my friend‘s ex-boyfriend. It was a month (I think) after the breakup. I became friends with her after the ‘moment‘. I feel bad still and I try to avoid him on campus.

Made a friend of same gender who got attracted to me later on...

I‘ve sinned a lot

Feeling down? Services are available. For more information Go to www. adelaide.edu.au/student/ wellbeing

I failed three classes and my parents know I‘m doing my best but they don‘t know I failed them

I feel stuck and horrible, but I want to do this and I can do this

My favourite sweet is liquorice. Fight me!

I really hate my family

On Dit spent July 26 at the YouX Midwinter BBQ collecting anonymous confessions from your student body. Some are sad, some are scandalous, and some I really hope are lies...

I‘ve used Chegg for my assignments more times than I would like to admit

I enjoyed watching Barbie

I still stress about the past way too much

I was so confident in who I was, but I realise I‘ve changed and it‘s hard to find myself again

I broke up with my GF

see more on page 48...

POLLING DATES:

Monday 4th September 2023 to Friday 8th September 2023

NOMINATIONS:

Open at 9.00am on Monday 14th August 2023

Close strictly at 4.00pm on Friday 18th August 2023

POSITIONS AVAILABLE FOR ELECTION:

ON DIT EDITOR (1 position, however up to four (4) students may nominate to be joint editors) - responsible for the publication of YouX student magazine which is published during academic term-time. It is highly desirable that the successful candidate(s) have some knowledge of print media (if you are considering nominating, please find out what is involved).

STUDENT RADIO DIRECTOR (1 position, however up to two (2) students may nominate to be joint directors) - responsible for coordinating programming, production and recruitment and management of content producers for Student Radio programs and podcasts which are hosted and broadcast online. Candidates will need to be organised, capable of working independently and confident managing a small team of students. It is highly desirable that the successful candidate(s) have knowledge of basic audio production and recording (if you are considering nominating, please find out what is involved).

TO NOMINATE AS A CANDIDATE:

1. Only students currently enrolled at the University of Adelaide who are financial members of the YouX may nominate.

2. Nomination forms must be either: a) completed and submitted online at www.youx.org.au/voice/elections/student-media or, where a candidate is unable to submit online, by contacting the Returning Officer at email returningofficer@adelaide.edu.au.

3. A Mock Edition of On Dit for electioneering purposes (‘Mock Dit’) and photograph can be submitted, if desired, by email or through a file hosting service nominated by the Returning Officer. If you are unable to submit your Mock Dit or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer at returningofficer@adelaide.edu.au to arrange an alternative method of submission.

• No Mock Dit or photographs will be accepted after close of nominations.

• If you are unable to submit your Mock Dit or photograph as above, please contact the Returning Officer to arrange an alternative method of submission.

4. All Student Media Director candidates will be required to attend an information session, to be held before the elections, outlining the responsibilities of a Student Media Director.

NOMINATIONS RECEIVED AFTER THE CLOSE OF NOMINATIONS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED

QUERIES:

Any questions concerning the Election should be directed to the Returning Officer via returningofficer@ adelaide.edu.au.

Published and authorised by the Returning Officer, July 2023. Please recycle.

On Dit Ngadlu Pudlunthi Paint and Sip

Keep an eye out for our next event!

1

On a night of journaling, I ran out of glue tape, so like every 21st century consumer, I hopped onto Google. Curiously, the first few suggestions did not come from Amazon, Kmart or even Officeworks, but I was suggested a site called Temu instead. I brushed it off, thinking it was just another random online stationery store, but even when I searched up other products on separate occasions, the site was persistently suggested.

It became very clear that Temu was not just another stationery store. I began seeing it everywhere, especially on social media platforms: comments referencing the site, haul videos and product reviews. It’s not just me, a University of Adelaide student also recalls seeing heaps of sponsored ads from Temu on Instagram reels and Facebook.

Maybe I was going through the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, or maybe Temu is just growing in ubiquity. Either way, it sparked my curiosity.

So, what is Temu?

You’ve guessed it, it’s another e-commerce platform selling heavily discounted products from China but what seems to be setting Temu aside from its biggest competitor, Amazon, is that you’re connected directly to the manufacturers themselves. That explains why a lot of their stuff is so cheap, no middleman means no extra costs to pay and because China is the epicenter of the manufacturing industry, you get to buy items at a wholesale price. It’s so cheap, even Business Insider called them “America’s new dollar store”. (1)

But unlike your local dollar store, you can find pretty much anything on Temu, including things you never thought existed like a shower cap that’s small enough to cover only one ear, a mini foldable chair that acts as a phone holder, and a removable mop that you can wear on your feet to make cleaning the floors easier. If you could think of it, it’s probably there.

Being a Chinese owned company but headquartered in Boston, it seems like Temu intends to make western consumers its target market and maybe even overtake Amazon. I was told by another University of Adelaide student that it’s pretty huge in America and Canada at the moment. With its launch on home soil earlier this year, Australia is bound to be next.

: Mary Hanbury, “Temu is America’s new dollar store”, Business Insider <https://www.businessinsider.com/temu-ultra-cheap-shopping-app-is-online-dollar-store-2023-5>.

How do you pronounce it?

As a native Malay speaker, I thought it was pronounced tuh-moo as the word “temu” actually means meet in the Malay language, but after watching a handful of haul videos, I’ve concluded that it’s pronounced tee-moo.

What does it remind me of?

While certain comparisons can be made with Amazon, I think Temu is more reminiscent of the infamous Shein with both selling mass-produced products from China at a very cheap price. Though, I will say that Shein is more fashion-adjacent, and unlike Temu, it doesn’t always offer free shipping, another one of the company’s selling points.

If you’re from South East Asia, e-commerce platforms like Temu have been around for ages with the most notable ones being Shopee and Lazada. The latter actually resembles Temu’s website quite a bit, especially the way in which the prices are displayed (i.e. the percentage discount always accompanies the listed price).

Is it legit, though?

I asked two University of Adelaide students about their recent shopping experiences with Temu and unsurprisingly, it was mixed. I can say though, that if “legit” to you simply means that the products would show up at your door, then from what I’ve gathered, they will. However, if it’s quality that you’re looking for, then you’re in for a game of Russian roulette.

But that is expected. When it comes to shopping on sites such as these, or any online store, the chances of making a disappointing purchase will never be zero.

The first student had a less than ideal experience because the organiser he had purchased for his bathroom – the ones with suction cups that stick to the wall – wouldn’t stick. The other student, however, got an Apple Pencil tip that she deemed the “best thing I’ve ever owned” as it makes her iPad notes look incredible. She also got a MagSafe phone case amongst other things which all worked perfectly.

I haven’t given the site a go yet, nor do I foresee myself doing so within the near future because I fear that if I do, I will be coaxed into committing mass consumption, which is almost always the case when it comes to shopping on sites such as these. That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with shopping on Temu if you’re doing so consciously. If anything, the site acts as a bit of salvation amid this growing cost-of-living crisis; making goods more accessible to university students.

The Case for a Bigger Parliament

Australia’s Parliament is long overdue for an expansion, and we may be getting one soon.

The JointStandingCommitteeonElectoral Matters, a bipartisan parliamentary committee, has released a comprehensive report containing proposed electoral reforms. Much of the focus is on truth in advertising laws, and tightening donation/spending caps for candidates. The committee is also considering the inclusion of reforms that could see better adherence to the principle of ‘one vote, one value’ in its final report (due September).

‘One vote, one value’ suggests that all electoral divisions should contain the same number of enrolled voters, within an acceptable variance (10% since 1974). This is to prevent one state or group of electorates having more voting power, due to their population being spread out across more seats.

The gap between the least and most-populated electorates is far too great to stomach: the latest Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) indicates that the Division of Solomon (which covers Darwin) serves around 72,000 voters, and the Division of Clark (Hobart) serves around 74,000 voters, whereas the Division of Paterson (suburbs north of Newcastle, NSW) serves around 134,000 voters. The majority of electorates have a population range of around 110,000 to 130,000. There’s an explanation for this unfairness – Tasmania is constitutionally guaranteed a minimum of five seats, and reducing the Northern Territory to one seat in line with population (as proposed in 2020) faced bipartisan backlash for its likelihood of disenfranchising First Nations voters.

A bigger parliament is a way that we can adhere to ‘one vote, one value’, while also obeying the constitution and avoiding disenfranchisement.

It can also address the other problem ailing Australia’s Parliament - it hasn’t kept up with our growing population. Parliament was last expanded at the 1984 federal election, at which there were 9,869,217 registered voters. As of 31 March, the total number of Australian voters has nearly doubled to 17,446,467 registered voters.

More people stuffed into the seats equals less effective Members of Parliament (MPs). Whatever you think of today’s politicians, they’re busy bastards. They have legislation to scrutinise (so, so much legislation), committees to serve on, ministerial duties, not to mention local responsibilities, such as keeping in touch with their community, and assisting constituents on taxation or migration issues. Having fewer constituents to deal with allows for a better balance of duties and energy.

More electorates equals smaller electorates. MPs have a lot of ground to cover, in a responsibility sense, but country MPs also have a lot of ground to cover in a literal sense. Less populated, geographically smaller electorates will go a long way to reducing this travel burden, and allowing rural MPs to better support their communities. Smaller electorates would also allow electorate boundaries to be drawn in ways that better represent communities.

Take my home electorate of Sturt; stretching along Adelaide’s east, taking at one end the suburbs of Burnside and Beaumont, at the other Giles Plains and Holden Hill. These areas have little in common politically or economically, and yet are stuffed into one electorate. Another more egregious example is the Division of Mayo, which stretches from Kangaroo Island to Lobethal and the wealthy exurbs of Adelaide’s Hills; communities with little in common stuck with one person to represent them both.

It was argued by Prime Minister Robert Menzies, as he oversaw the first expansion of Parliament in 1949, that a bigger parliament results in a deeper talent pool for ministers. Most MPs have to take on two or three portfolios. Adding more MPs could allow these roles to be better distributed, again reducing MP workload, and giving leaders more talent to choose from.

Then the question becomes, how many seats should we add? Well, just quickly I took each state’s enrolment (as of March) and divided it by 70,000. This would produce a Parliament of 247 or 248 (I couldn’t decide how to split the ACT’s allocation). Below are electorate allocations by state.

SA – 18 (+8), NSW – 79 (+ 32), VIC – 63 (+24), QLD – 51 (+21), WA – 26 (+11), TAS – 6 (+1), ACT –4 or 5 (+1 or 2), and NT – 2 (unchanged).

Of course, my idea is very hastily calculated, and others have different proposals. The Australia Institute recommends 234 members, in line with Hawke’s reforms. Others argue that the ‘cube root law’ means Parliament should have nearly 300 seats. There’s some disagreement, but the consensus among experts is that Parliament needs a drastic increase. It is important to note that an increase to the House of Representatives must be matched by an increase to the Senate (the Senate must be roughly half of the House). I would consider this an ample opportunity to address the flagrant violation of ‘one vote, one value’ that exists in the Senate - (in no fair world should South Australia and Tasmania have the same representation as the vastly more populated New South Wales).

So far, no expansion has been confirmed, but Government sources haven’t ruled it out. Should the committee recommend this, said sources believe it is likely that any expansion would not occur until after the next federal election. I can appreciate this, despite my belief these reforms are needed now - a sudden expansion of Parliament might spook voters.

It remains to be seen whether the Albanese Government will tackle this issue. I expect public resistance; most voters will whine about more ‘bloody politicians’ (in the same breath complaining that they don’t do anything), and I suspect a debate will be less nuanced than it would have been back in the 80s. With the (hopeful) success of the Voice to Parliament referendum later this year, and (hopeful) action on a Republic referendum following the next election, it is my hope that fear of naysayers doesn’t get in the way of yet another sorely needed change.

Arson Baby

A special offer just for you, A spectacle only pyros choose. Kindling treated so unkind, praying in a Kanye state of mind.

A world’s worth of matches still and ailing til a single one catches, billions worth of firelight trembling in the stars’ sight.

Finally the teller fronts, lightly used, only once.

Arson baby once so bright reduced to ashes overnight. Morning brings another chance for arson baby to resume their dance.

Sienna Sulicich

Did you know On Dit is everywhere?

Here’s a crash course on what content you can find where!

Instagram @onditmag

Instagram is where we put our best face forward, but it’s also where you can get behind the scenes Stories, content callouts, and find out when new Issues hit campus! Plus, we’ve been flexing our photojournalism muscle by covering student action at Adelaide protests.

Twitter (X???) @onditmagazine

It may be dying, but we’re still there for now! Twitter is home to On Dit’s live-tweeting efforts. Our Student Politics Editor works tirelessly to bring you all the news from YouX Board and SRC meetings. We’ve also covered the Student Merger Forums over here.

Our Website - onditmagazine.com.au

Keep up with our website for exclusive online articles. Print is a slow medium, so anything topical might instead make it onto the website! You’ll find heaps of reviews for shows around Adelaide, coverage of the University merger process and anything spicy that our student politicians get up to…

Facebook - On Dit

Follow us on Facebook to always be up to date with On Dit. Here you’ll find out when a new article is on the website, when online editions are posted, and new content callouts! You can also catch livestreams of most SRC Meetings.

Issuu

Over on Issuu we publish the magazine in digital form! Super useful if you’ve found a particularly great article you want to send to someone who doesn’t live in Adelaide. The digital edition is normally published a couple of weeks after the physical edition hits campus so you have plenty of time to pick it up first!

Sen’s Big

1. What is the car frame technically called?

2. What is the opposite of explode?

3. To accurately describe something is to hit the nail on the ... ?

4. What is the eighth planet of the Solar System?

5. What is Samsung’s version of the Apple Watch called?

6. Approximately how many people have died in the Grand Canyon? a) 550 b) 900 c) 1600

7. What chess piece is an animal?

8. Approximately how many pounds are in 50 kilograms?

9. What kind of fruit has a variety called nashi?

10. Pottery is fired in what?

11. What colour bag are Cool Ranch Doritos in?

12. What is the UofA/YouX podcast called?

13. The Triton is a car from which company?

14. Which English town near the Welsh border shares its name with a breed of brown cow?

15. What image is traditionally depicted on the flag of a pirate ship?

16. What toilet paper brand features a dog as a mascot?

17. What did Studio Ghibli send to Miramax after they edited Princess Mononoke for Western audiences?

18. In what year were SAG-AFTRA and the WGA last on strike at the same time?

19. Fuck, marry, kill: the Mister Maker shapes.

20. Smash or pass: Ryan Gosling as Ken

Answers on page 66.

The Growth of Germany‘s

CW–islamophobia,anti-semitism

All across Europe, far-right parties are on the rise. They’ve recently achieved power in Italy, Sweden, Finland, and could hold the balance of power in Austria and The Netherlands. However, Germany has managed for a while to elude their influence. A far-right party has not formed part of a German federal government since reunification in 1990. Before that, the most recent instance was in 1957, when a farright party formed part of West Germany’s government.

That might be about to change.

Alternative for Germany (AfD) is currently the fifth largest party in the Bundestag (Germany’s federal House of Representatives), but a recent surge has seen them climb to second place in the polls. Some polls with links to AfD have them in first place. I’d caution against trusting these, but at the current rate, unbiased polls may also start to reflect an AfD lead.

Who are the AfD?

The AfD are a relatively young radical-right party, founded in 2013 to oppose Germany bailing out poorer southern European countries during the Eurozone Crisis. Initially, the AfD was focused primarily on Eurozone reform and opposition to further European integration. It has since lurched far to the right, taking on a platform of German nationalism and anti-immigration. This shift began in 2015, coinciding with a migrant crisis that saw 1.3 million refugees seeking asylum in Europe. Germany accepted the largest share of these refugees. The ensuing anger and fear was something AfD were happy to tap into.

The party stands for the protection of ‘German identity’ against influxes of migration and tolerance of other cultures. Islam is specifically targeted, with the party labelling the religion as ‘unconstitutional’ and ‘not a part of Germany’, and proposing to ban mosques, burkas, and the Koran. They openly believe in the ‘great replacement theory’, a white-nationalist conspiracy theory that white people are being replaced by migrants. To protect ‘German identity’, they endorse migration limits, and encourage German nationals to have more children.

They also uphold ‘traditional values’, opposing same-sex marriage and modern feminism. AfD is the party in the Bundestag to reject the scientific consensus on climate change. Rising carbon emissions, by their argument, have been ‘beneficial’ to the planet.

Their stance towards Russia is… sketchy. In the name of ‘peace’, AfD oppose sanctions on Russia and the supplying of German weapons to the Ukrainian war effort. Other MPs have parroted pro-Russia conspiracy theories, and the chief of Germany’s top spy agency warned that ‘[they] see that parts of the AfD are very much influenced by Moscow…’

Much of their support comes from the east of Germany. Experts put this to unique economic hardships resulting from a difficult re-integration, a perception of abandonment and hatred from the West, and the region’s historic desire for authoritative ‘strongman’ leaders.

Political Far Right

Not Nazis... but

Given the historical context, it is important to note that AfD are not a modern Nazi Party. Nor, despite being located on the far-right end of the political spectrum, do they advocate for the abolition of democracy.

On the other hand, AfD party members keep getting exposed as Nazis or for having Nazi sympathies. Such examples include the party’s co-chairman and supporters performing the Nazi salute, a leader of the Thuringia state branch using the phrase ‘Everything for Germany!” (a slogan formerly used by the SS) in a speech, and a former state legislator referring to leftist politicians as ‘rank growth on the German racial corpus’. There are countless vile, racist comments thrown at refugees that I will not repeat. AfD recently came under fire for a Twitter post by a state-level branch. The post, criticising the use of gender-inclusive language, featured a graphic of a downwards-facing triangle. Downwards-oriented pink triangles were used in Nazi concentration camps to signify those imprisoned for their sexual orientation.

When they’re not openly supporting Nazism, members are quick to downplay the severity of the Nazi regime and its despicable acts. One MP declared it to be ‘a speck of bird poop’ on an otherwise successful history, and on another instance argued that Germany should celebrate the achievements of its soldiers over two world wars. Another MP labelled the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe as a ‘monument of shame’. These are not rogue statements, but rather a pattern of AfD encouraging a shift away from what they see as a ‘culture of guilt’ and towards a celebration of Germany’s identity.

The AfD youth wing has been branded as extremist by the Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution (BfV), Germany’s chief spy agency. Two individuals involved in a recent violent coup attempt were identified as members of AfD. The chief of the BfV has cautioned voters against supporting AfD, warning that parts of the party hold ‘anti-semetic attitudes’ and sympathies to the Russian government.

Containment

Their links with extremism and flirtations with Nazi rhetoric have made AfD toxic to other parties, who are ready to form unlikely coalitions to avoid relying on AfD votes to govern. For example, after the 2017 election, the centre-right Christian Democratic Union/Christian Social Union (CDU/ CSU) coalition formed a coalition with the centre-left Social Democratic Party (SPD) party. This would be like Labor forming an agreement with the Coalition in a hung parliament, rather than with the Greens.

But such an agreement can only hold for so long. In recent polls, nearly 80% of Germans disapprove of the current government, with similar numbers believing the current three-way coalition is too inefficient. An unpopular SPD government and a strong showing for AfD could force the hand of the CDU - either form an unpopular government and further piss off the right, or swallow the bitter pill that is governing with AfD. The leader of the CDU, while ruling out a federal coalition, recently expressed a willingness to work with AfD on the local level, where they’ve seen successes. If the CDU can stomach AfD at that level, how long before they can federally?

Wielding power

AfD will not prop up a government without extracting policy concessions in return. So what would an AfD-influenced government look like?

Germany currently accepts the largest proportion of asylum applications in the EU (25%), but AfD would ramp up the pressure (likely with success) to slash this policy. As more and more flee warzones and hostile climates, asylum seekers will find themselves shut out of one of the few welcoming countries in an otherwise hostile Europe. Muslims in Germany may find themselves increasingly surveilled by a hostile government. Action on addressing climate change will stall. Germany under AfD will be governed by a coalition of racists and holocaust-minimizers, to devastating consequence.

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide

I wish I had gotten the number of the girl I was petting goats with

I stole a pen from my classmate when I was six Bad news: I burned out so bad. Good news: I‘m now getting help

I have suicidal tendency. But fighting it with love.

Your Confessions:

I don‘t know what to do with my life after uni

I can‘t speak four languages

I have got rid of those who have wronged me. You can find them in the Torrens

My dentist put her hand in my mouth and said ‘cute little mouth‘ and I got kinda turned on

Feeling down? Services are available. For more information Go to www. adelaide.edu.au/student/ wellbeing

I lightly abused my Access Plan (not for the Eras tour dw)

I secretly hate everyone and didn‘t find anyone funny

I have stolen from Coles. Often. Sorry not sorry

I cheated on my GF on her B‘day!

On Dit spent July 26 at the YouX Midwinter BBQ collecting anonymous confessions from your student body. Some are sad, some are scandalous, and some I really hope are lies...

I can identify my roommates‘ pubes (I clean the bathroom)

I‘m hungry

I had a mental breakdown and dropped two courses. It could be worse... I dropped all classes last year. So there‘s that.

I am constantly making dark, violent sexual fantasies that will never come to reality, but I look completely normal

I am single cos when I push people away, I expect them to pull me closer

DUMBPHONES 4 DUMMIES

Lily Baxter & Edward Gilchrist

Screentime has become a universal concern among youth. We consistently voice our inability to complete tasks without being distracted by our devices. In this state of paralysis, we automatically find ourselves scrolling on social media. Tasks are left overdue or incomplete and hobbies are neglected.

With their ubiquity, it isn’t a stretch to suggest that smartphones threaten our self-agency, productivity and social connectivity. Research on generational differences has found unprecedented decreases in rates of young people hanging out, partying, drinking and obtaining their licence (Twenge, 2017). The likely reason for this is an increase in time indoors, with people partaking in socialisation through a screen. In some respects, this may be a good thing; less drinking, drug taking and dangerous driving, however, there is also an unprecedented rise in rates of youth loneliness, depression and anxiety.

However, there is an alternative. Small pockets of Adelaide have embraced life without a smartphone, opting instead for a 2000s style brick/flip phone (aka the dumbphone). Adelaide university students Lily and Edward, both of whom had a troubled relationship with their smartphone, have successfully adopted the dumbphone. In our experience, although people are curious, they perceive navigating their life without a smartphone as impossible. In this article, we are here to address your (somewhat) commonly raised concerns, and provide insights for those who have considered the lifestyle change themselves.

How long have you used your dumbphone?

15 months, first 3 months were on-off Ed Lily

Nearly 7 months.

How do you talk to your friends?

Messenger on my computer or texting on my Nokia, which I’ll admit does take some getting used to. However, obsessively sharing every moment (via photos, videos and texts) with one another can often take away from the experience. Instead, embracing the moment, undistracted, then describing it later to friends with a few photos, feels more grounding.

Do you still have social media?

I always wanted to get off social media. I tried a few times to deactivate my account or remove the apps off my phone, but I’d fail within a couple of weeks. I have poor self-control, if a particular app is on the App Store, I will download it. It took getting the dumbphone for me to permanently deactivate social media, now I only have Messenger (which you can have with a deactivated Facebook account).

Ed

I started my ‘tech reduction journey’ first by deleting social media. Like many young women, the influx of Photoshopped images and beautiful women destroyed my self-confidence, and the compulsion to consistently post your life in a way that made it interesting and beautiful felt unrealistic and exhausting.

Do you feel lonely/disconnected?

Lily

Yes and no. I felt lonely in my dumbphone endeavour, as a lot of people did not understand the lifestyle change. However, being disconnected rom constant online communication forced me to seek socialisation in real life. I expanded my friendship circle and strengthened my current friendships. I would reach out to friends to hang out in-person and I frequently initiated conversation with people in environments where previously, I may have defaulted to using my phone. My advice would be to learn to form and maintain relationships outside of texting and social media, for instance, joining a club with a weekly meetup or mustering up confidence to approach your classmates.

At over a year in, I’m more connected to the world now than since I was a kid, but this wasn’t an easy place to get to. It takes a while to let go of internet culture and the need for constant social stimulation. Getting a dumbphone initially triggers your FOMO response more than just about anything else I’ve done in my life. Personally, when I abstained from the internet for a couple days, I felt like I was missing everything, but after a week, I felt like I missed nothing. You just have to decide what’s important to you

How do you deal with boredom/frustration?

You have to learn to embrace boredom and frustration as not only natural, but as a valuable part of life. The modern world has prioritised convenience at the expense of just about all else. However, doing things slowly or inefficiently and getting bored or frustrated doesn’t equate to suffering. Slow or unstimulated often means peace, depth and attention. If you can master boredom and frustration, you become kind of invincible in a world that has tried to prevent you from ever experiencing them.

I’m thinking about switching, what advice would you give?

Lily (Pragmatist)

Ed

Ed

-> Don’t bother with feature phones . Most of the features they claim to have don’t work or are unreliable (Google Maps, Facebook, Whatsapp etc).

-> Check that the phone you buy is compatible with your service provider and uses 4G.

-> Sometimes you’ll need to unlink your number from iMessage/Apple - this is an easy process, but if you don’t do this, you may not receive any messages.

-> Carry emergency cash around in case you forget to check your bank account before leaving the house.

-> Be prepared to deal with some frustration at first, as you get used to the new phone.

-> Carry around a small journal - it is very useful for writing directions, phone numbers and general plans.

-> Don’t be afraid about not relying on Google Maps! It’ll surprise you how quickly you remember when and where buses come, which main roads lead to what suburbs and how many maps are placed around the city to assist you

(Insufferable Pontificator)

Trust your brain, it’s more capable than you might know. People survived for many years without offloading anything to technology. There’ll be an initial spike in anxiety as you let go of the safety net that is a smartphone: directions, instant internet, transport options. However, in my case, when this spike subsided, I felt less anxious than I’ve ever felt in my life. You’ll learn a lot about the role of smartphones in society too. They fill in stimulation gaps and in-between time: transportation, pauses in conversations, waiting time. You’ll have to learn to stimulate yourself again. The time that you liberate from your smartphone is free for you to decide what to do with, but it won’t automatically become profitable time; that’s a conscious choice.

Ed

Jean Twenge, “Have Smartphones Ruined a Generation”, The Alantic <https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/achive/2017/09/ has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/>.

Let’s Talk Tram

Public transport. We’ve all had less than pleasant experiences. Drunk people, loud people, and those that cough and splutter everywhere are all regular passengers. I’d like to offer a story that will be particularly hard to top – and I hope for my sake this never happens to me again.

I choose the tram for my commute to uni – it’s quick, close to home, and (usually) pretty painless. On one notable day in Semester 1, my trip home unfortunately coincided with the end-ofschool rush. I was feeling very lucky that I’d managed to claim a seat - one on the aisle in a cluster of four. The only seat still unoccupied was diagonally across from me, next to the window. It would be very difficult to get into, to the point you’d think no one would bother. Alas.

‘Can I sit there?’

This was asked rather impolitely by a woman who had just boarded with her (I can safely assume) boyfriend. I took probably the biggest double-take I’ve ever experienced in my life. The girl was wearing only a pink jumper and a thong. She had bare feet (yes, the ‘thong’ was not for her feet) and a handbag. Without much choice, we all moved so she could sit down. Her boyfriend was standing right next to me, holding the handle above my seat for balance. The positioning of his arm meant my every breath encountered a strong whiff of his BO - lovely.

The woman asked him to pass over her perfume, which he did. Next, she reached into her handbag. I really don’t know what I was expecting her to pull out, but it wasn’t a toothbrush and toothpaste. I watched in bewilderment as she brushed her teeth. To her credit, I suppose, it was with absolutely no shame.

Despite being thoroughly confused, my mind started moving very quickly. Why on a tram? This is the worst toothbrushing environment. There’s no water. Where is she going to spit? Oh, she might swallow it, that would make the most sense. Ohhhh, wait no - just in time, I saved my Doc Martens from being splattered with the toothpaste she spat onto the tram floor.

I can’t remember when, but at some point, the lady opposite me had disappeared. At least I still had the girl - likely a fellow uni student - I was sitting next to. We were living a shared experience. She was an ally. A friend. A comrade.

She got off immediately at the next stop.

I was tempted to follow suit, but for some reason, I decided to stick it out. Her boyfriend had now taken the seat next to her, so my nose was no longer in a direct line to his armpit. ‘I’ll just ignore it’, I thought. But the woman made this impossible when she decided to put her bare feet up on the seat next to me.

You really can’t make this stuff up. Her outfit - a bold choice. The smell - nose wrinkling. The teeth brushing, evidenced on the tram floor - weird and disgusting. But bare, dirty feet mere centimetres away from my body - yeah, nah.

Emily Kelsall

I moved quickly to the - now very full - central area of the tram by the doors. There were lots of children and teenagers crowding the area, but that was far better than dirty feet and a puddle of toothpaste. By this point, other people had begun to notice the couple and generally avoided the group of seats. One guy bravely took my vacated seat for an impressive amount of time, but never truly committed - he faced the opposite direction and kept his feet in the aisle.

After what felt like an eternity, we finally approached my stop. During my walk home, I started to ponder whether I should become a ‘train girl’. I’m ultimately left with one question - did that actually happen?

Please folks, when you go on public transport, wear deodorant. Actually, before that, wear pants. And for the love of God, do not, under any circumstances, pull out a toothbrush.

Holdontoyourcaps,folks!

How Rory became the character on

As a newly baptised Gilmore Girls fan, I, like many other viewers, am obsessed with the twenty-yearold show, especially one of its main characters, Rory Gilmore. However, one thing I cannot reconcile with is how the writers of the show, intentionally or unintentionally, handled Rory’s character development, a grievance voiced by a multitude of Gilmore Girls fans. If you are unfamiliar with the television program, Gilmore Girls follows the quirky, chaotic life of Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter Rory, whom she had at sixteen, and how they navigate through the struggles of a single-parent household. From the very beginning, Rory is portrayed to be highly ambitious and studious, we are told she has aimed for Harvard from a young age and wants to be a journalist. Additionally, we find that Lorelai’s parents are quite wealthy and have a high social status, something Lorelai has rejected and kept Rory separate from; however, when Rory is accepted into a prestigious “prep” school, Lorelai turns to her parents for financial support and thus they and their wealth remain in Rory’s life from thereon.

Now, let me make myself very clear here, I am in no way aiming to berate those in a higher class type than myself, but the way Rory goes about her newfound class, among other hypocrisies she displays, ensures that any flaws she has throughout the show become unredeemable to the audience. One of the main ideas of Gilmore Girls is that any opportunities open to Rory have been earned through her determination, hard work and academic brilliance; when in reality anything Rory has “earned” has been handed to her, either because her grandparents paid for it or because she had a network of connections as a result of her grandparents’ privileges. Gilmore Girls makes it evident that Rory would not have attended an expensive prep school nor Yale University if it were not for her grandparents as Lorelai could not afford the tuitions. They even pay for an expensive lawyer to help Rory escape legal troubles after she steals a yacht. Rory only gets an internship at a newspaper because she is dating the son of a media oligopoly, Logan, whom she she only met because her wealthy grandparents introduced him and they only started dating because she attended Yale with Logan. Do you see what I’m getting at? Rory did not use her hard work and good grades to get an internship, she used her inherited class status! It occurs again in the Gilmore Girls sequel, A Year in the Life, when Rory feels she is being rejected by a company she wishes to work for so Logan’s father offers to put in a good word for her. Again, if she is offered a job it will not be because of her talent but because of the social connections provided to her by her wealthy grandparents.

Image:Usmagazine

most unlikeable

Gilmore Girls

Even worse, when a 32-year-old Rory is unemployed, couch surfing and constantly being turned down or let go, she interviews at a blog that she clearly feels is beneath her yet arrives unprepared with no pitch or ideas. When the CEO hands the job to someone else, Rory verbally abuses her for this as if she were over-skilled or superior to the company, even though she displayed no talent or wit in the interview whatsoever. Rory continuously shows us that she is childish, spoilt and cocky due to years of her believing she earned her success in life when I would argue, once she entered Yale, anything good that happened to her was an indirect result of her grandparents’ wealth. The audience knows this is what Rory believes too when she writes an article mocking the rich people she attended a party with, showing she does not see herself as “one of them” and in fact believes she is superior because she does not have a “five million dollar trust fund” (she says this even though she too has a trust fund waiting for her…).

Unfortunately for Rory, her lack of self-awareness is not her only flaw, the hypocrisy and cheating throughout both Gilmore Girls and A Year in the Life are enough to make any viewer see red. Logan cheats on Rory when they are on a break which upsets Rory and she struggles to forgive him, fair enough, right? Wrong. Rory is an absolute hypocrite for giving Logan a hard time for cheating when she cheated on her first boyfriend and slept with him later on while he was married! Even after Logan cheated on her and knowing how that felt in her twenties, later on in her thirties she continues to have an affair with Logan while he is engaged and she has her own boyfriend! Where’s the girl code, Rory? Where’s the self-respect?

Rory’s actions would not feel so distasteful if it were not for the way her character was set up in the first few seasons of the show. Rory is characterised as a kind, intelligent, ambitious and humble person, so when her behaviour displays otherwise it becomes hard to stomach for the audience. Of course, there are other characters on television that have done things worse than Rory, however, the difference is the screenwriters do not try to convince us otherwise, or the character is aware of their flaws, which Rory is not. It is quite disappointing really, as Gilmore Girls can often be an inspiring, feminist show, and seeing Rory in her younger years strive for high grades and ivy league schools motivates you to do the same. Yet, her character is ruined, so now, I want to be nothing like Rory Gilmore.

The Akhapost Conspiracy Chapter 5 The Firefly

Missed the previous chapters? Pick up a copy of the previous mags or find it online @ onditmagazine.com.au

The mood on campus was as low as the setting second sun, the indicator of the coming sacrifice. Random, on the other hand, was bizarrely cheerful, going about his normal routine with a spring in his step. Barry made several attempts at probing for answers on his night time disappearances, but with no luck.

Random slept soundly that night, while Barry stared at the ceiling in contemplation. Was Random actually acting strange? He really had no barometer for what strange even meant here, and for all he knew the guy had been disappearing after curfew and creating magical explosions in his dorm room since day dot. Even so… something was still bothering him.

The next morning, Barry climbed down from the top bunk to see that Random’s bed was already empty. Checking the clock, he groaned in frustration. It was already 20 minutes into breakfasthe’d have to hurry if he wanted to eat anything.

He found Random tucking into a mutinous bowl of porridge in the mess hall. Random looked up as Barry approached, giving him a chirpy hello.

“Morning sunshine,” he said, looking Barry up and down. “You know, something’s been up with you these past few days. I don’t know what it is.”

“Something’s up with me?” Barry spluttered. “You can’t be serious, can-”

“Ahhh, I know what it is,” he interrupted, a sly smile on his face. “Did I call you over just now, or did you sit next to me of your own accord? That’s not like you at all.”

Underneath Random’s light, singsong tone, Barry felt the words sting a little. Had he really been that bad?

“Maybe you’ve just worn me down.” He said instead.

Random hummed non committedly, but was soon distracted by an apple growing fangs and launching itself at them. Barry watched the interaction with a frown. His gut told him the upcoming ceremony would be important and Random had something to do with it.

MandyWilliams&EmilyMiller(editor)

The interior was plain and simple, with few pieces of furniture. Random hurried over to one of them; a large chest. Hauling it open, Random soon pulled out a few random garments; some leather but mostly cloth.

But Random didn’t put them on. Instead, after getting undressed, he just stood there in the centre of the room and closed his eyes. Thoroughly embarrassed about peeking on his roommate getting changed, Barry turned to leave but stopped when Random’s skin began to ripple.

His skin turned several shades lighter, his hair becoming blond. The structure of his face began to morph into something Barry could no longer recognise as Random. Even his height had reduced. Quickly, Random got dressed into the clothes he’d pulled from the chest, and as he turned, Barry realised he recognised the new face; it had been in an image from the paper a week or two back. A kid who’d caused a dangerous ruckus in the square.

Random surely wasn’t actually this kid, so why was he pretending to be? Was he trying to help the kid from the paper? Or was he using it for some scheme?

Whatwasheplayingat?

His question was answered at the sacrifice ceremony; held at twilight, at the threshold of a gaping canyon that narrowed into a small, sunken channel up the side of the mountain. A path wound through the channel, ending in darkness.

Thousands of onlookers gathered in the valley, and the atmosphere might have been festive if it weren’t for the slow, ominous fluctuation between silence and restlessness.

Right by the edge of the canyon was a small podium, lit by flickering runic lights. A tall, bearded man stood atop it, waiting for the murmuring crowd to grow quiet once more. Behind him was a line of dark-clad mages. Barry realised the man to be the current head of government, Kadani.

“The second sun sets once more,” Kadani bellowed, his voice rolling through the valley. “And once more these solemn countrymen must sacrifice one of their own!”

A ritualistic pause, then an echo from the crowd. “Once more,” they shouted.

Kadani nodded. “Before the name of the candidate is drawn, we will give the call for volunteers! Will anyone give themselves in the place of the unnamed?”

Whoeverwouldvoluntarilygivethemselvestobesacrificed?Tobetorturedand-

A small form stepped calmly from the edge of the crowd to approach the podium.

“I will give myself in sacrifice to Akhapost,” said the child Barry knew to be Random in disguise. WhatwasRandomdoing?!

“All countrymen will bow their heads in honour of this child! He has saved us for this sun-cycle, and will be celebrated forever more!”

There was a ripple in the crowd, as they bowed their heads.

Barry watched as the assembled mage-guards fanned out, ushering disguised-Random into the jaws of the mountain. They raised their hands, a soft chant beginning in their throats, but there was little point to it; disguised-Random went freely, with no need for magical restraints. He walked without pain or fury to his death, leaving the silent crowd behind.

The mage-guards and Kadani followed disguised-Random up the channel. While the people then dispersed, Barry moved along the edge towards the channel, making a split-second decision to follow. If the guards caught him and turned him over to Hathor, he could use ‘know thy enemy’ as a defence, and if he wasn’t caught, well the excuse still held through. Maybe he could find something to use against this monster.

Attheveryleast,Randomneedshelp,andIneedanswers. Barry decided.

Mobile Phones in Schools vs Parliaments

It’s no surprise that politicians are routinely labelled as hypocrites. That’s not the point of this article, it is simply food for thought. Politicians are quick to impose restrictions on the general public, they consistently resist these same restrictions applying to themselves. One issue politicians have taken a recent whacking against is young people’s usage of mobile phones in class. I’m not saying I’m for or against accessing your phone in school, this article is just some interesting exposition.

South Australian Labor announced their policy to ban mobile phones in public high schools in June 2019, with the ban commencing at the start of the 2023 school year. The aim of this ban was to curb bullying and violence, as well as to reduce distractions in classrooms, with Premier Malinauskas declaring that “mobile phones do not have a place in the classroom or in schools. They act as a distraction to students but at their worst, mobile phones can be used for purposes that aren’t consistent with who we are as the South Australian community”. The Department for Education’s website also states that “the education and wellbeing of our next generation is one of the government’s priorities… We want to create the best possible learning environment for our students. To do this, students must feel safe and want to engage” as a way to vindicate the mobile phone ban.

But if anyone has watched just one session of Question Time in either the Federal or State Parliaments, you’d notice the masses of politicians staring at their phones, seemingly bored, disengaged or simply not paying attention. Prior to becoming the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Labor MP Milton Dick said “all MPs would be guilty of [being on their phones] [and that] the last thing we need is MPs online shopping or going on realestate. com”. Despite this, Dick opposed banning mobile phones from the chamber, arguing that they “play a role” to communicate efficiently and to refer to up-to-date data. A parliamentary resolution was met in 2015 that allowed mobile phone use if it was directly related to the members’ parliamentary duties, but this hasn’t prevented their obsessive scrolling habits. To this point, I agree. But it doesn’t explain why there are occasions when every front and backbencher are on their phones. Aren’t there occasions when students need their phones in class, i.e. to take photos of whiteboard notes or for digital media lessons?

Ellie Venning

Recently, a Belgian digital artist invented a bot that automatically scans the YouTube live streams of Flemish parliamentary sittings for anyone using their phones and uses facial recognition technology to identify the politicians. Throughout the session, it then calculates how long the MP was on their phone, with some of the findings being quite embarrassing. Although the bot is unable to tell what the politician is doing on their phone, it should be worth noting that back in 2017, the Flemish Prime Minister was photographed playing ‘Angry Birds’ during a parliamentary debate.

I think it’s safe to assume that if a similar bot was used to monitor the livestreams of Australian parliaments, then our Members of Parliament would take notice and they definitely wouldn’t like a spotlight being shone on their disengagement levels. So, what do we do? Simply we, their voters, should take notice and expect better from our parliamentary representatives. If phones are a distraction for students, then what makes them so different?

REFEREENCES

Department for Education [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.education.sa.gov.au/mobile-phones

SA Labor, 26 June 2019, Twitter [ONLINE] Available at: https://twitter. com/alpsa/status/1143650848016195584

Max Koslowski, 30 July 2019, ‘“Question time has become a joke”: MP mobile ban on the table’ Sydney Morning Herald [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/question-time-has-become-ajoke-mp-mobile-phone-ban-on-the-table-20190730-p52c5f.html

Antoinette Milienos, 28 November 2022, ‘Mobile phones to be banned at nearly every school in Australia - here’s what you need to know about the new rules that come into force next year’ Daily Mail [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11475125/South-Australian-public-high-schools-ban-students-using-mobile-phones.htm

Evelyn Manfield and Stacey Pestrin, 29 January 2023, ‘Mobile phones banned at SA public high schools, but AI like ChatGPT allowed’ ABC News [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-01-29/ mobile-phones-banned-at-sa-schools-but-chatgpt-allowed/101904448

Craftcorner

Louise Jackson

In my humble opinion, wheatbags fix just about anything. Tight neck? Chuck a wheatbag on it! Freezing through the end of an Adelaide winter? Cuddle up in bed with a wheatbag! Cramps? Wheatbag is about to be your best friend! World peace? I’m sure wheatbags are working on it!

Creating a wheatbag out of your old jeans is the perfect upcycling project for sewing beginners. Jeans often wear out in annoying places, so give them a new life that can keep bringing you comfort.

You will need:

- A pair of old jeans (nothing more than 5% elastane!)

- A sewing machine (if you don’t have one, check your local library or community swap group.

- There are also plenty of cheap beginner-level sewing machines on the market if you want to

- Denim needle for your sewing machine

- Extra strong sewing thread

- Fabric scissors

- About 2 kg of wheat grain (find it at bulk food stores or pet stores)

Wheatbag from old jeans

1. Cut a panel out of your jean leg, positioning to avoid any worn-out points. I recommend cutting a panel that’s about 32cm long.

2. Thread your machine according to the manu facturer’s instructions. Make sure to use a denim needle!

3. Turn the jean panel inside-out.

4. On a straight stitch, sew along one open edge of the panel with a 1cm seam allowance.

5. Snip the corners near the seam, not too close to the stitching.

6. On the other open edge, mark a 10cm gap in the middle. This will be left open to turn the bag right-side out and fill it!

7. Sew the edge, avoiding the marked gap, with a 1cm seam allowance.

8. Snip the corners near the seam, not too close to the stitching.

9. Turn the bag right-side out.

10. Pour about 2 kg of wheat grain into the bag, adjusting weight to your taste.

Quiz Answers

1. Chassis

2. Implode

3. Head

4. Neptune

5. Galaxy Watch

6. 900

7. Knight

8. 110

9. Pear

10. Kiln

11. Blue

12. Whelmed

13. Mitsubishi

14. Hereford

15. Skull and crossbones

16. Kleenex

17. A katana with the message “no cuts”

18. 1960

19. There is no correct answer, I can’t believe you actually thought about that (square, circle, triangle)

20. Hard pass