On Dit 84.2

inside: guide

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presents

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uofa student magazine

u l t i m at e

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- issue 84.2

p r o c r a s t i n at i o n literally

hitler

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Editorial Correspondence What’s On President Reports Vox Pop Articles Artist Profile Creative Reviews Diversions

02 03 04 06 08 10 24 40 44 45

On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union.

We recognise that the Kaurna people are the landowners and custodians of the Adelaide Plains.

Ngaldu tampinthi Kaurna miyurna yarta mathanya Wama Tarntanyaku.

Editors: Lur Alghurabi, Natalie Carfora, and Celia Clennett Sub-Editors: Karolinka Dawidziak-Pacek, Grace Denney, Brydie Kosmina, and Seamus Mullins Designers: Chelsea Allen, Anna Bailes, Daniel Bonato, and Georgia Diment Social Media: Nicky Mellonie Front Cover: Tessa Lauren Inside Back Cover: Stephen Lang Published: 14/03/2016

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EDITORIAL

Hey you!

Howdy!

Hello!

So, it’s week 3, you’re just figuring out what your courses are actually about and now Googling how to lern thngz. You have no idea what your assignments want and if your lecturers are extra-terrestrial. You want answers, so you anxiously await the new On Dit to see what life-altering content the generous overlords of this quality publication will offer. Bad news. I’m in my fourth year now and I recently answered a whole exam using only Wikipedia knowledge (I kid, or do I?), so I’m just as lost as you are. But, the good thing is we’re in this together, and we’re trying to figure out things as we go along too. In this edition, we delve into why the comment section can give you cancer, the best board game of all times, and whether we should find Woody Allen a creep.

This should answer your most pressing questions for now.

How is March already nearly over?!

The passage of time scares me. I think about it a lot, and especially now as we finish off our second issue, and I am only just realising this On Dit thing is legit after all.

This Edition I return from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia where I have just interned with an Asian news documentary channel called Al Jazeera 101 East. My one month adventure involved:

O’Week is over (thanks passage of time) and we are setting back into our uni habits. Just yesterday I was a first year who didn’t believe she could get between lectures in the allocated 10 minutes and instead scheduled hour breaks between every class. Tonight, I am a post-grad who spent four hours doing a single (short) reading.

•

You should write for us, Lur

Pass your time with us, Nat

While the passage of time is scary and I have experienced more O’Weeks than I care to admit, it’s also kinda nice. The passage of time means there is ample time to buy chips from Taste Baguette, to plan my day around free food, and to make more magazines.

• • • • •

Getting home late after work to edit On Dit articles from the other side of the world on a Lap Potato.

Exchanging bad puns with world-class journalists.

Researching China’s greatest weapon, the panda, ask me about pandas. I dare you.

Unlocking the magic of Uber and AirBnB. Tricking my boss into thinking I was a straight A student.

And Googling more than ever before. Yes, that is a lot of Googling!

Cheers!

Celia

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CORRESPONDENCE AN OPEN LETTER TO THE SELF-PROCLAIMED MAN-HATER Tis a shame that you do hate all men, For once you were created with a single wiggling semen, Who fought on bravely from explosive entry As many had before, from century to century.

In our name we have a Dit (Ds are encouraged at this University) Opinions are interesting, and always welcomed, It’s just a shame you turned an epic rant Into a strangely exhausted, booed off comedic garbage.

Please, we beg you − Write some more!

(But check your spelling, as Middle English ain’t a thyng no more..)

And send it to us at the included address: Equality at its absolute best. − Anonymous

Fist bump to everyone seeing themselves published for the first time in student mags this O Week @OnDitMagazine − @waltergibraltar, Twitter @OnDitMagazine question for the culprit: if women can do everything men can, how come they’ve never successfully oppressed an entire gender? − @vicegerb, Twitter New @OnDitMagazine cover is actually the greatest thing ever I actually want to frame it − @Bemmereaux, Twitter

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WHAT’S ON

Sports on the Green Thursday 17th March AU Playing Fields Free soccer and volleyball competition Uni of Adelaide v Uni of Melbourne Football Match Wednesday 16th March 4-6pm University Oval AUES Pubcrawl: Beerlympics the 24th Olympiale Friday 18th March 4pm

DO YOU LIKE STUPOL?

HUNGRY? BROKE?

AUU Board Meeting Wednesday 23rd March 5:30pm AUU Board Room

Breakfast Club Every Tuesday and Thursday 8:30am-10am Fix Lounge

FILM CLUB SCHEDULE

Union Member’s Lunch Week 4 Wednesday 23rd March 11:30-1:30pm $5 for Non-Members

Week 3: Murderball Week 4: Laurence Anyways $3 for Non-Members

DO YOU LIKE US? Issue 4 submission deadline Friday 8th April

Newroz Fire Festival Saturday19th March 6pm Civic Park, Modbury

Join the Psychos for a Free Pizza Picnic 17th and 24th March 11am Walter Young Gardens University of Adelaide $5 for Non-Members Feast on the Foreshore Sunday 20th March 10am-4pm Semaphore Foreshore

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ARE YOU A BIT OF A KNOW IT ALL? DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S ON BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE? KEEP US IN THE LOOP, EMAIL US AT ONDIT@ADEL AIDE.EDU.AU AND TELL US ABOUT THE NEXT BAKE SALE, MEETING, PRIVATE LECTURE, OR CLUB EVENT.

GOT CULTURE?

WHAT ELSE IS ON?

ARTS

Poetry Slam Workshop Sunday 20th March 2-5pm SA Writer’s Centre 2/187 Rundle Street, Adelaide Members $60, Non-Members $90

Bay-City Fun Run Sunday 20th March 8am Colley Reserve, Glenelg

2016 Adelaide Biennial of Australian Art: Magic Object 27th February - 15th May 2016 Free admission AGSA, Samstag, AEAF, Tandanya, Carrick Hill, and more!

Wakefield Press is offering budding reviewers the chance to learn a little more about crafting and pitching a book review from a professional reviewer and publicist.

Wakefield Press Workshop Tuesday 22nd March 6-6:45pm 16 Rose Street, Mile End RSVP: emily@wakefieldpress.com.au

Marxism 2016 Conference Thursday 24th - Sunday 27th March Victorian College of the Arts, Melbourne More info at: marxismconference.org Angry about the Lockout Laws?

Reopen Adelaide Sunday 3rd April 1pm Parliament House Ben & Jerry’s Open Air Cinemas February 28th - April 10th Brian Nadilo Reserve, on the Glenelg Foreshore

Gaol Blues Festival 20th March 2-10 pm Adelaide Gaol 18 Gaol Road $30 Earlybird, $40 Regular

SAY HELLO! Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Facebook: @onditmagazine Twitter: @onditmagazine Instagram: @onditmag In Person: George Murray basement, down the creepy stairs near the Barr Smith Lawns

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STATE OF THE UNION

This is the 14th column that I have written as your Student President.

To be honest, there is one message that I deliberately missed last year, not because I f ind it less important, but I avoided it to not sound preachy.

So this is not me speaking as the Union President, but as a student, or as a friend.

The message is simple, ‘you are good enough.’

For everyone, there is always something making you insecure or uncomfortable. But university is a time of opportunities. Being one of the oldest universities in Australia, the biggest advantage that we have is the signif icant numbers of opportunities that are available for us.

There are more than 200 clubs on campus, with many of them enjoying decades of history, and some of them are almost as old as our university.

But all of these organisations, including the Student Union are run entirely by students. And they all started from zero. The University is also one of the most encouraging and culturally-rich organisations, and if

you are interested in participating in anything, I am sure they would love to have you join them.

For some of you, being the Student President may not be a big deal, but for someone like me who is from a non-English speaking background, I did not even dream about it when I was in my f irst year. Indeed, there has never been an international student elected as Student President for any Group of Eight University.

But after realising the actual work involved in being a Student President, I found that I can do it as well as anyone else, and I found that my disadvantages can also be my advantages.

Students who are from a more marginalised background found me to be someone they could better relate to, both local and international students supported me, and speaking a different language also made it easier to communicate with more students. The lesson I have learned was that the things that you feel insecure about can also make unique.

When you try something outside of your comfort zone, there is a chance that you will fail. Nobody likes to fail (including me) and this is when the thoughts of ‘I am not good enough’ kick into your brain.

Try to ignore them. We are all in this journey together. University is our time to shine, our time to truly accept who we are and what makes us special and unique.

Renjie Du auupresident@auu.org.au

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SRC PRESIDENT

Cory Bernardi, past part-time On Dit contributor* and full time homophobe, is at it again. The South Australian Liberal Party Senator’s previous exploits include denying the existence of climate change, arguing that it is sometimes appropriate for a man to put a woman in a headlock, comparing equal marriage rights for LGBTI couples to bestiality, and pushing anti-Muslim racism through a dodgy investigation into Halal certification.

minority one, but he isn’t just some fringe voice in the wilderness either.

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL) and the Marriage Alliance have been organising to get the program shut down for years. The Australian announced the latest festival of bigotry with an attack piece on its front pages. And now Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has requested an investigation into the program as a first step towards its defunding.

His latest target is the Safe Schools Coalition, a program that aims to make education inclusive to LGBTI school students. Considering that 81% of LGBTI students don’t feel that their school is inclusive of their sexuality, it’s a welcome way of taking on homophobia and transphobia in an educational setting. Or so you’d think.

The conservative side of politics is well organised. They are given a platform in national media and in parliament, and groups like the ACL are prepared to spend big to try and push back any social gains that have been made.

For those of us who care about social justice, it is important that we get organised in taking them on.

To a right-winger like Bernardi, however, it is all part of an evil plot to ‘indoctrinate children into a Marxist agenda of cultural relativism.’ He is now making a very vocal push to see Safe Schools defunded.

Programs like Safe Schools only exist because activists have been challenging homophobia and transphobia in society for decades, leading protests for marriage equality, and arguing for the importance of unions, schools and universities taking a stand about these issues. As a socialist on the SRC, I’ll be working with students who want to organise

With the vast majority of Australians supporting equal rights for LGBTI people, Bernardi’s view is clearly a

against any and all oppressions, and it’s no surprise that socialists like Roz Ward, Victorian Coordinator of the Safe Schools Coalition, have been at the forefront of campaigns for LGBTI rights.

Socialists see the struggles that take place in our society as being intimately connected. The education department that is now set to review Safe Schools is the same education department that is always looking to deregulate universities, raise student fees and cut federal funding. The politicians who decry Safe Schools as child abuse are the same politicians busy organising child abuse in detention centres. As university students it is important that we take on all these issues. Resisting one injustice increases our confidence to take on others.

So next time an activist on campus wants to talk to you about a campaign or protest consider getting involved.

Because if we don’t fight, bigots like Bernardi win.

Tom Gilchrist srcpresident@auu.org.au *In last year’s On Dit issue 83.9

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VOX POP

RAF

D AV I D

AMANDA

ECONOMICS (ADVANCED)

HEALTH SCIENCES (ADVANCED)

LAW / COMMERCE

1. I hate public transport. It smells and buses never come.

1. We were at a really crowded bus stop and he missed the bus step and he stacked it so bad in front of sooo many people and he smacked his face and I was the only one laughing.

It was a horror story for him.

1. On the Gawler line just two days ago a lady threw a trolley onto the line and we were held up for about half an hour.

2. Two separate things. Just because they’re sex offenders, it doesn’t mean their movie is any worse.

3. Monopoly.

4. Yes. There’s probably no need for a referendum, I just think we need to legalise it.

5. Ciabatta.

2. Like if you don’t know they’re a sex offender it’s okay, but personally I feel kinda gross. Like why am I watching it if they’re a sex offender.

3. Monopoly, definitely.

4. Sure.

5. Garlic bread.

2. I don’t think there’s any issue with watching the movie, provided that it’s not glorifying the stuff they’ve done. I don’t believe that watching the movie means that you agree with their actions.

3.

Game Monopoly.

of

Thrones

4. Yes, definitely yes.

5. Baguette. Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. It’s all about the crust.

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1. WHAT’S YOUR PUBLIC TR ANSPORT HORROR STORY? 2. IS WATCHING MOVIES MADE BY SEX OFFENDERS O K AY OR MOR ALLY TERRIBLE? 3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? 4. SHOULD WE HAVE A REFERENDUM ON GAY MARRIAGE IN AUSTR ALIA? 5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE T YPE OF BRE AD?

BORONIA ARTS

AMBER

BRENDAN

NURSING

LAW / BUSINESS

1. Probably the last three days, it’s been so hot and I catch the bus all the way to Mount Barker and it’s been disgustingly sweaty.

1. I just look really approachable all the time, so I constantly have people approaching me on public transport.

1. Probably just the public transport always being late.

2. It’s a hard question, I personally couldn’t enjoy their movies. I couldn’t separate myself from that, but I guess some people can separate the art and the creator.

2. I think it’s okay, I don’t see it as being wrong. But, I can see where people would have a problem.

3. Monopoly.

3. I’m not a fan of board games.

4. I think it would be easier if they just passed it through the House of Reps and Senate, but yeah sure if it gets it done.

5. Whole grain.

3. Mouse Trap. I haven’t played it for a very long time, can you still buy it?

4. I think we should, it’s something that the public clearly wants.

5. White bread.

2. I think it’s completely separate.

4. Yes, definitely.

5. Whole grain.

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A LOOK AT RADIO ADELAIDE’S (VAGUE) FUTURE WORDS BY: AMY NANCARROW

On Friday the 18th of February, the University of Adelaide finally produced a media release detailing its plan for Radio Adelaide.

‘Community broadcaster Fresh 92.7 will provide advice and facilities to the station, and manage a transition which will see Radio Adelaide become an independent, not-for-profit organisation from July this year,’ Vice Chancellor Warren Bebbington said.

The main details of the transition are threefold: firstly, Radio Adelaide will be temporarily housed at Fresh 92.7’s city-based facilities until another suitable home can be found; secondly, the University of Adelaide will ‘provide funds to assist the transition’; and thirdly, the training for Bachelor of Media students will continue as normal.

However, all of this is dependent on the approval of the licence transfer by broadcasting authority ACMA.

Soon after the announcement came another twist in the tale: Radio Adelaide staff and volunteers had absolutely no idea that this decision was coming.

‘We’re shocked by [Fresh 92.7’s] proposed takeover of Radio Adelaide,’ the station tweeted after the announcement. ‘[The] proposal is sketchy. The station community will consider and comment ASAP.’ This isn’t surprising; at no stage throughout the consultation and decision-making process have General Manager Deborah Welch, staff, or volunteers, been invited to the table to discuss their own future, nor have they been advised of the finer details of this proposal. The University and Radio Adelaide staff were placed under an institutionwide media gag, further isolating the station. Despite a successful “#SaveRadAd” social media campaign, which gained over 6000 signatures on its online petition, the contributors that run Radio Adelaide have been entirely left out in the cold, and have been

unable to make their voices heard.

It is for this reason, that Radio Adelaide was unable to speak to On Dit when approached for a comment.

Let’s break down precisely what the University of Adelaide’s media release has said. Firstly, the new business model and the transfer process for the community broadcaster was finally announced.

When the University first announced that Radio Adelaide was in jeopardy, they proposed five options for the station. The community radio specialists that the University hired to research these options proposed that Option 2 be chosen: a 3 to 5 year transition, with the University contributing financial aid over this period, until the station is able to independently support itself. They also proposed that given the value of the station to the University, particularly its Bachelor of Media program, the association between the two parties should continue. It seems that in that regard, the University of Adelaide has agreed with them; the educational mission of the station will continue, and the University

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will provide some funding to aid the transitional process.

There were no details in regards to the level of funding, and Vice Chancellor Warren Bebbington stressed that although the University will contribute financially, ‘I would hope this leads to a revival of community sponsorship and subscription support for the station.’

In other words, the University of Adelaide thinks it would be really great, if money could come from other areas too, so that they won’t have to fiscally contribute for any longer than necessary.

The thing is, as insensitive as it sounds, money should be coming from subscribers and sponsorship.

It’s all well and good to splash the #SaveRadAd hashtag around, but maybe it’s time for listeners and community supporters to put their money where their mouths are.

Yes, the University is essentially throwing the station into the deep end, but perhaps this is the right time for Radio Adelaide to swim on its own.

The partnership with Fresh is a point of contention; whilst both are community broadcasters, the two stations have vastly different programming and audiences. Fresh 92.7 predominantly markets itself as a ‘youth’ organisation, and is well-known for its preference for dance, electronica, and house music. Though a younger station than Radio Adelaide, Fresh has built up a strong subscription base and listenership, with an average of 150,000 listeners per week. Radio Adelaide is a very different station; the station broadcasts shows by film buffs, Francophiles, and sports fans, while covering a vast cross-section of current affairs, including Aboriginal, LGBTQI, and veterans’ affairs.

Despite Fresh 92.7’s assurances that Radio Adelaide programming will not be disrupted, with such differing programming priorities, it is understandable that those at Radio Adelaide are sceptical of this.

Finally, all of the above means nothing without final approval from broadcasting authority ACMA. Despite the University of Adelaide and Fresh 92.7’s confidence that it

will be approved, Radio Italia Uno director Paul Pellizzari is claiming that such an approval would be unlawful, as no single entity can control two licences at once. ‘They cannot comply with the Act,’ Pellizzari told InDaily’s Bension Seibert. ‘If they do proceed then we will apply to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal.’

Furthermore, the University of Adelaide has not stated whether they’ve applied for a temporary or permanent licence transfer, when the application is likely to be approved, or if it is likely to be approved. The licence may prove hard to obtain, as 26 weeks notice is required before the transfer date, and the University’s media release provided no information about what the process entails, or what happens if they are knocked back. No approval, no transfer... no Radio Adelaide?

No matter the outcome, a rocky road lies ahead for Radio Adelaide. If ACMA approves the license transfer, they will then have to undergo the mammoth task of vacating 228

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North Terrace, and collaborate with Fresh 92.7 in their studios, which will no doubt affect programming during that time. It will be a huge upheaval for the station, and a major structural and technological change.

Having said that, perhaps it’s for the best that Radio Adelaide is forced to become more of an independent entity. Change is hard, but necessary.

The station began as an educational tool but has grown into something much bigger, and has the potential to become a strong community station in its own right. The media training is continuing on, as it should; but Radio Adelaide now has the chance to create its own future, if the University will finally allow it to be part of the discussion.

OUR RADIO ADELAIDE: PRESENTERS REACT TO THE ANNOUNCEMENT Nicole Wedding, Presenter, The Wire I started by news reading and producing the Breakfast program, and now I’m working on The Wire.

There are so many benefits [to Radio

Adelaide], but I think the highlight is the autonomy you’re given to pursue stories. From the minute you start, it’s hands-on: you have the freedom to write, research, contact interviewees and speak on-air. I’m studying Media, so my time at the station also complements most – if not all – of what I’ve learnt in class.

I felt a sense of relief when I heard the news, purely because I think it’s preferable to closing. Unfortunately, it seems like Radio Adelaide is being kept out of the loop with the finer details of the proposal – so I’m hesitant to celebrate without knowing what the long-term implications might be. It’ll certainly be interesting seeing how the cultures of the two different stations interact.

Georgie Cunningham, Presenter, The Range/Reel Time I started [at Radio Adelaide] at the beginning of 2013; I applied for Student Radio before I was even a student at The University of Adelaide! I did the Radio course as part of my Media degree, which was fantastic, and probably one of the best courses that I did at university.

I met Andy, my now co-host on The Range, during the drive-home spot on a Thursday. [I’m] absolutely loving every minute of it, and I’m really developing my skills.

I think I’m still trying to process [the Fresh 92.7 decision], but when I first heard it my initial thought was ‘Well, this is better than nothing!’ I think it is a semi-step in the right direction; Fresh are doing some great things for community radio. Even though Radio Adelaide is the first community radio station in Australia, I think it’s time to step into a new era and maybe go into a more technological time for the station, and I think Fresh can really help that.

The only worry would be the staff and all the amazing volunteers at Radio Adelaide, and how everyone would go with that transition. I think we still don’t know enough information about how it’s all going to run, so the more information we get, the more at ease everyone will be.

Amy thinks that if she had her own radio show it would be hilarious and witty. In reality, it would just be her ranting for an hour about her love of Italian food and her hatred of slow walkers.

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#BLACKLIVESMATTER WORDS BY: JACK CR AWFORD ART WORK BY: MATILDA BRISTOW

THE FIGHT AGAINST MODERN RACISM Since the shooting of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown two years ago in Ferguson, Missouri, explosive protests have swept the United States.

The extent of systematic racism and police violence toward black people in the US was further highlighted when the officer wasn’t even charged for Michael Brown’s murder. In response the protests continued for weeks, despite state repression.

The defiant stand by the residents of Ferguson sparked solidarity actions across America and brought attention to a series of other police murders including Eric Garner in New York, Freddie Gray in Baltimore, and 12 year old Tamir Rice in Cleveland.

Just last year, a total of 1,134 people were killed by the police across the US. Despite making up only 2% of the total US population, African American males between the ages of 15 and 34 comprised more than 15% of these deaths. This makes young black men nine times more likely than any other American to be killed at the hands of police officers.

The US state is racist to its core.

American capitalism was built on slavery and dispossession and continues to maintain itself through the state’s violence towards black people and people of colour. However, this movement against police and state brutality – subsequently known by its hashtag #blacklivesmatter – has thrown up one of the most significant challenges to this racism in recent years.

Khury Petersen-Smith, an anti-racist activist in the International Socialist Organization in the United States has been a participant in the Black Lives Matter movement in Boston.

She explained that the movement, with actions in 126 cities across the United States, was an outpouring of protest against ‘a four decade assault on the US working class and oppressed sections, including women, gays, particularly Black people, a program of mass incarceration and the elimination of anti-poverty campaigns.’

According to Khury, the #blacklivesmatter movement is ‘an opportunity to mobilise people, both

black and white, to shake the country to its core.’

‘What has changed from the Ferguson uprising is that now we are saying “no!”’, he said. ‘The significance of the protests was that when the state mobilised the police, the protesters marched on; when they used the National Guard, they marched on; when they declared curfews, they broke them. And instead of intimidating us, it was the cops who backed down.’

‘In the 1960s,’ he said, ‘the civil rights movement drove a whole era of struggle, but the system was able to survive. This time we want to take the fight all the way.’

Khury Petersen-Smith will be speaking at Marxism 2016 on the topic of #blacklivesmatter on Saturday 26 March 2:00pm at the Victorian College of the Arts. For more information visit marxismconference.org

Jack is an active socialist. Proudly just as biased as Rupert Murdoch, but in the opposite direction.

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GAY, BUT ON THEIR TERMS WORDS BY: HOLLY NICHOLLS ART WORK BY: EMILY HART

WHY A PLEBISCITE IS A BAD IDEA When I was in school, I wasn’t out per se. But I wasn’t necessarily in, either. I was the kind of girl who occasionally had a boyfriend, who gossiped about the cute boys, but who sometimes made a comment like, ‘and oh my gosh doesn’t Scarlett Johansson, like, totally have great boobs.’ And people would laugh it off, at least at first. But I was also always the one asked intrusive questions; boys in my year would directly ask me how lesbians have sex, as if they were yet to discover the wonders of Google and various less reputable video streaming sites.

As I cycled through various self imposed identities – straight, bi, no definitely straight, or maybe not, how the fuck are you supposed to figure this out, is sexuality actually just one big practical joke, are labels really

important anyway, okay no I’m gay as hell, but maybe boys???, no gross – to my current status as a proud owner of a small ar my of flannelette shirts, and certified lesbian, something became apparent to me. As a rule, people would let you be gay, but on their ter ms.

So when people question you invasively, that is the payoff. I won’t harass you for who you are if you will tell me everything I want to know about your private life.

When, at a party, I let it slip to a male friend that I really wanted to smooch the cute exchange student, and that probably I was definitely at least bi, he replied with ‘that’s hot.’

will assure you that they are totally not homophobic because they’ve supported gay marriage for years will still call their mates f****ts and gay for, I don’t know, being 10 minutes late to something, because obviously it’s just edgy and cool, and would totes never set someone so on edge they might have to go home and cry all night. That would never happen.

Girls can like girls, but only so long as sixteen year old boys can sexualise it for their pleasure.

Leaving school coincided with my proper coming out, and for the most part uni has been so much better. Migrating to a bigger pond has allowed me to choose friends I have much more in common with, and more easily avoid those I don’t.

But leaving school also forces you to live in the Real World. And as it transpires, in the Real World, just as it was among my classmates, you can be gay, but on their terms.

In school corridors, and even around uni, the same people who

You can hold your girlfriend’s hand and kiss her goodbye at the bus

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stop, so long as you’re willing to put up with the stares, the comments, the jeers – but hey, at least they’re not violent. Your workmates will happily talk about their wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, but maybe don’t mention that you’re seeing someone, you’ll tell yourself, because that’s a step too far for the workplace. Somehow it got decided that a same sex relationship is inherently sexual, that talking about it is inappropriate in case it offends the delicate sensibilities of the poor children, or recruits them all to the homosexual lifestyle.

This is reflected in the government’s push to have a plebiscite on the question of marriage equality.

Despite the fact the parliament clearly has both the power and a mandate to legislate on same sex marriage, despite the fact consistent opinion polling shows this change is supported by the majority of Australians, and despite the fact

now Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was a critic of such a vote until he assumed his current role, we seem to be stuck with it – to the detriment of the queer community.

A plebiscite on marriage equality epitomises the way in which my existence as a gay person in Australia is on the terms of the wider public. I and people like me would be subject to well-funded campaigns from religious lobbies and politicians alike, not only telling me that I should not be allowed to marry, but that I would not be a capable mother, that I should not be able to live loudly and proudly about who I am and who I love. The vitriol and shame I experienced during school would be reignited, but on a significantly larger, publicly condoned scale. For kids still in school, still dealing with unsupportive families and friends, their suffering would be magnified.

All because Parliament refuses to do its job.

Personal feelings on marriage are irrelevant in this. It is clear that marriage, for most people today, is simply a way of declaring love for another person. Children factor less and less into the equation; so many de facto couples, gay and straight, are raising children. For me, when I was young, naive, and in the middle of my straight phase, I couldn’t ever imagine wanting to get married. But now that I know I cannot, I at least want to be able to make that choice, in the same way that fourteen year old me thought I would be able to.

And I shouldn’t have to be subjected to incredible vitriol before I can make that decision, on nobody’s terms but my own.

When she’s not slowly covering the world in glitter by osmosis, Holly can be found on student radio program On A Queer Night.

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NOT RICH KID VOLUNTOURISM WORDS BY: TOM CERNEV

VOLUNTEERING WITH ENGINEERS WITHOUT BORDERS Was I nervous?

Probably.

Excited? Most definitely. I mean it was my first time after all. My flight left Adelaide at 10am on the fourth of December 2015, and I had no idea what to expect.

However, judging by the amount of pre-trip vaccinations I’d just had, I knew it was going to be good.

The following day, after crossing more than a few time zones, I arrived in Mumbai, ready to start the Engineers Without Borders Humanitarian Design Summit.

I’ve travelled internationally by myself before, so I’m no stranger to negotiating airports, but spontaneously meeting a fellow Adelaide University engineering student in Mumbai airport, who was taking part in the same program, was a huge relief – for the both of us.

We picked up our bags, and found a taxi. Our packs went straight onto the roof. Looking at each other we were both thinking – they’ll still be there when we get to the hotel right? Into the taxi and away we went. Seatbelts?

Only for the driver. For the both of us India was entirely new, and the conversation soon died away as we stared out the windows, soaking up the streets of Mumbai, whilst realising that speed signs and traffic lights are guidelines and driving lanes simply don’t exist.

So, Engineers Without Borders?

Sound pretty cool right, but what is it? I’m sure you’ve heard of Médecins Sans Frontières (its French for Doctors Without Borders). Well, this is just the version of that for engineers. At their core, Engineers Without Borders strive to empower people through humanitarian engineering, which in turn leads to improving health, well-being, and opportunity – the ultimate goal being a life free from poverty.

The streets of Mumbai are a world away from what we have in Australia, and have to be experienced first hand. Never having been to India before I had no idea what to expect, and kept an open mind but I think its fair to say that anybody’s first impression will be that there’s pollution, poverty, and that it’s very busy – we almost had a

couple of car accidents on the way to the hotel. But you could feel the culture, you could see opportunity and a people that are constantly innovating and this left us both excited.

That cab ride was almost an hour, and even once we reached our hotel we were both still soaking it all in. Our design summit had about 50 people taking part in it. There were some familiar faces from Adelaide University, but students and lecturers from all engineering streams and all universities across Australia were taking part. Without hesitation, our supervisors split us into groups and sent us out and around Mumbai city for a highly competitive game of “The Amazing Race”. It was on this exercise that I almost had a career change. Walking down an incredibly busy market street some of us were approached and asked to come take part in a Bollywood movie – an offer that we sadly had to decline.

The next few days were spent learning about humanitarian engineering and the importance of always considering the end user such that the solution can be best designed so as to

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provide maximum benefit to them. The trip revolved around a visit to some rural villages for three nights, where we would spend time with villagers, looking for opportunities where humanitarian engineering solutions could be implemented.

For me, these three nights were the highlight of the trip. We woke up every morning and seeing the mist over the countryside, across the surrounding mountain ranges, before sharing breakfast with our host families and spending the day immersed in the amazing culture of rural Indian life.

We had the opportunity to immediately impact the lives of the villagers whom we lived with.

Working through translators, we were split into even smaller groups and charged with investigating an area of village life. For my group this was water.

How water is sourced, used, and if there could be any opportunity for improving any aspect of this within village life. After spending three nights in the village, and collecting as much infor mation as possible, we left and spent two days coming up with a prototype solution to an opportunity for improvement that we had seen.

There are people who hold the opinion that these trips can all be classified as “rich kid tourism”, merely a quick way to see the world and feel good about “helping” people – but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Of course we only spent two weeks in India, and only a few days living in the villages so any impact that we had was limited – and everyone knew this. But after those two days we presented our prototypes to the village, and the majority of them were adopted and may eventually become part of every day life there. Ours was a rainwater system, where the first rain would clean the roof and gutters, filling up a small tank such that when this was full the rest of the rainwater – that was cleaner, would go into the main tank. However, perhaps more importantly there are now fifty future engineers who have returned to Australia. Deter mined to use their engineering degree to not only make a positive difference, but also to cross cultures whilst understanding that culture is a way of life. That communication and patience are perhaps two of the most important qualities an engineer can have.

Perhaps the best description of India was given to us by one of our facilitators in Mumbai. He said that everything in India is true and not true. I can’t think of a better description than this.

Every time I thought I’d seen everything or was beginning to understand life in India, I would see something else that would render me completely speechless, and remind me that there was still so much to learn.

As I write this from Singapore Airport on my way back to India for a Pollinate Energy Fellowship (they’re a start up successfully bringing sustainable energy solutions into some of India’s slums – Google them!).

I don’t think I can recommend doing an Engineers Without Borders Design Summit enough.

No matter how much you’ve travelled, you’ll be pushed far outside your comfort zone, meet some of the most amazing people you’ll likely ever meet.

Most importantly, you’ll see how engineers can actively play a role in improving the lives of others and helping to bring them out of poverty. Go for it!

Tom thinks science is pretty cool and would love to be an astronaut!

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REFUGEES, RACISM & RESISTANCE WORDS BY: APOORV JAISWAL

The world is currently witnessing the highest number of displaced people since World War II. Approximately 20 million of these are refugees, fleeing all sorts of calamities such as the earthquakes in Nepal, Israel’s invasion of Palestine, and civil war in Somalia. And none of them can expect safe havens where they go. Refugees are some of the worst treated people around the world. Out of those that survive the journey, many of them are hoarded into detention centres, following a false promise of resettlement.

Those detention centres are nothing short of concentration camps.

Refugees live in crowded makeshift houses, often with no access to proper food or amenities. They experience violent attacks from the guards, women are raped, and children cannot get access to a decent education. The conditions are steadily worsening, with healthcare and legal services diminishing, and a lack of job prospects.

Why do these places exist? Because racist governments worldwide, use them to scare refugees into going back to the disasters they have escaped, rather than acknowledge their right to seek asylum. All over the world, we are seeing increasingly hostile refugee policies that seek to demonise them and (somehow) present them as a threat to national security. In Europe there exist 11 million empty homes, but we are seeing borders being further

militarised against refugees, Saudi Arabia is refusing to help despite its massive wealth, and of course, Australia remains eager to spend billions on the armed forces.

Many refugees coming to Australia are left stranded on boats, or redirected to neighbouring countries like Indonesia. Others are placed in the offshore detention centres on Manus and Nauru. These places are the stuff of nightmares. Refugees are subject to torture and abuse on a daily basis. Some are driven to selfharm, and in some cases, suicide.

Laws have been created to prevent human rights violations occurring there from be reported to the media.

Those that do manage to escape these hellholes are placed under surveillance, ready to be deported at a moment’s notice.

This was seen most clearly when the High Court ruled to have 267 refugees deported back to Nauru.

Many of these innocent people are babies. Among them is one named Asha, who was being treated for burns at Lady Cilento Hospital. But Immigration Minister Peter Dutton, refuses to let refugee babies stay, because according to his logic, these babies (many of whom are born on Australian soil) are a threat to this country.

Alongside Muslims, refugees are the group most often depicted as a threat to the Australian way of life by corporate media and politicians.

Disregarding the ironic fact that there has constantly been Australian military intervention in countries like Afghanistan and Syria, which has resulted in a high number of the world’s refugees. The biggest attacks on Australian society, have come from within. With the government making education cuts, subsidising tax for large corporations, and pushing health care spending on the public, refugees are used as a convenient scapegoat to divide working class people. In fact, we should be siding with their struggle.

Asylum seekers are no mere victims.

Hunger strikes, sit-ins, and breaking fences are some of the ways that refugees tell the world that they will fight for their rights.

We are already seeing people show support. People across Europe have picked up refugees from train stations and let them into their homes. Churches, unions, and schools across Australia are showing solidarity too. Hospital workers at Lady Cilento refused to discharge baby Asha. Now it is our turn to stand alongside them. As students who are facing multiple university funding cuts, as well as increasing unemployment, attacks on penalty rates, and skyrocketing housing prices. It is as much our fight as it is theirs.

Apoorv is the National Union of Students South Australian Ethnocultural officer. He likes all things red, including Kit-Kats.

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PUBLIC TRANSPORT ETIQUETTE 101 WORDS BY: BROOKE LLOYD ART WORK BY: JACK LOWE The world of public transport is perilous. From the vandalised windows, to the putrid stench, riding on public transport is an experience unlike any other. We all want the ride to end as painlessly as possible, but this isn’t always the case.

Terrible public transport etiquette ruins the dreaded public transport experience.

them even after an elderly stumbles aboard. By taking one of those seats when it’s clear you don’t need it, you are setting a bad example. Standing on public transport sucks, but it sucks even more to have someone demand you move seats.

That’s where I come in. I’m here to clarify the rules of transport etiquette in the simplest way possible. Whether you are novice or a public transport veteran, this list of dos and don’ts will ensure you never have to worry about breaking public transport etiquette again.

We all know how small the seats are on public transport. Legroom is tight, and it’s easy to find yourself stuck between the window, and someone else’s bag. Or even worse, grazing a stranger’s thigh. Man-spreading and she-bagging means you are stealing an extra seat that you don’t need.

The trick here is to remember that public transport isn’t your lounge room. It isn’t the space where you can spread out as you do when binge watching something on Netflix. It’s the mediocre form of transportation you’ve chosen to travel on. Solution?

There’s some nifty space for your bag underneath the seat. You could even try to rest your bag on your lap. As for man-spreading? Please just close your legs. Every other passenger will be thankful.

DO: GIVE YOUR SEAT TO SOMEONE IN NEED This is a super important piece of social courtesy to remember for surviving your next trip. When you offer your seat to someone in need, you reassure your fellow passengers that you are not a bad person. If you see someone who is in need of a seat, give it to them. This piece of courtesy is especially important if you sit near the door. People standing by the door scrutinise you for having that seat, so it’s best not to cause trouble.

The same goes with the priority seating. Those seats are special enough to have their own sign, but you must be pregnant or elderly before you can grace one with your backside. Yet many people hog the priority seats and continue to sit on

DON’T: TAKE MORE THAN ONE SEAT

DO: USE PERSONAL HYGIENE I cannot stress this enough. Personal hygiene is essential on public transport. Remember you are in a closed, shared environment.

Coughing, sneezing, and clipping your toenails are all forms of poor etiquette. Use your arm or invest

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in a tissue for whenever you need to sneeze or cough. Furthermore, I recommend clipping your toenails in the leisure of your own home.

Scent is also important when travelling on public transport.

Having a stench will cause discomfort for all the weak stomachs on the carriage. If you sense people avoiding you on public transport or moving away, you may smell. This also applies if you spray yourself with half a can of deodorant while on board; that musky Lynx line doesn’t appeal to everyone. Don’t be that person, use deodorant and use it in the recommended portions.

DON’T: MAKE LOUD PHONE CALLS Public transporters are well acquainted with loud phone ramblers. You believe you are speaking quietly, but really, you’re not. Everyone listens, especially when your voice echoes down the other end of the shuttle or carriage.

It’s uncomfortable for everyone. So while I think it’s lovely that you have enough chicken left over to make stir fry for dinner tonight, I don’t wish to hear it in such vivid detail.

Try lowering your voice, or wait until you are off. Your fellow public transporters will appreciate it.

DO: USE HEADPHONES After a while, seeing the same blurred scenery every day becomes boring. You think listening to your favourite tune will change things up. And it will, for when you listen to your music aloud, you will piss every other passenger off. I do not

wish to hear your favourite song blaring through your tinny portable speakers. No one does. There’s a reason why buses and trains don’t play music: people enjoy different genres. You may like Adele, but not everyone wants to hear Hello for the thousandth time. Solution? Try headphones. They enable you to listen to whatever you like without anyone else hearing it. Bonus: they can help block out the loud phone ramblers.

DON’T: LITTER Public transport is already terrible.

We’ve established it smells, it’s obnoxiously loud, and that you have little to no room. When you litter, you are making a pigsty worse. I understand that food wrappings can slip out of your hand, but unwashed clothes? It’s a stretch. Keeping public transport clean enables for a better travel experience. While Adelaide Metro fails to fill buses and trains with bins, you can dispose of your rubbish at your stop.

DO: EMBRACE THE RIDE Let’s be honest, nobody wants to ride on public transport. We don’t do it for the pleasure of hearing toddlers scream their heads off. In fact, we don’t do it for any pleasure at all. We travel on public transport to get cheap fares and avoid parking drama or peak hour traffic jams. If we can all be a little more polite, the dark world of public transport might just become a better place.

Brooke is prone to witnessing people spell her name without the letter ‘e’.

When she isn’t on public transport, she rejoices about not taking it.

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CHARITY: MAKING BETTER DECISIONS WORDS BY: RILEY HARRIS

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE THE ‘CLIP-BOARD WIELDING CHARITY PUSHERS’ YOUR MONEY Every single decision you make is a trade-off. Sorry, I’m an Economics student. Doing one thing means choosing not to do another. When you go to a concert you aren’t just choosing to go to a concert, but you’re also inadvertently choosing not to spend the night working on that essay. Don’t look at me like that.

You know the one, the one you really should have done weeks ago. You’re also choosing not to do any of the other thousand things that you could do with that night. So how do we choose anything at all? Why aren’t we all reduced to a puddle of tears every time we’re faced with even the simplest choice?

Our brains have the amazing capacity to ignore millions of the opportunities we have daily, instead focusing on a few important decisions and relying on habit and autopilot for the rest. This is clearly a good

thing; it stops us from being crippled by the enormous amount of choice we have. Often we make decisions with very little thought, as anyone who’s ever watched Geordie Shore (insert similarly trash reality TV show of choice) can attest. For most day-to-day decisions this doesn’t matter a great deal, we’re just fine.

But when we make very important decisions this might inhibit us, and maybe we need to think just a little more.

Enter the clip-board wielding charity pushers. You know the ones, standing on the street just outside uni, trying to guilt you into being a good person. I know you don’t like their rude interruption to your day, and I’m with you on that, but they do have a point. Importantly, there are people in need all over the world, and you have the resources or time to help them. I think that most people, on some level, want to help others.

Maybe you want to be a doctor to save lives, or maybe you just want the best for your family and friends.

You usually blank these ‘charity

promoters’ like they’re the person you spoke with twice in O’Week because you didn’t know anyone but now realise you have nothing in common with. You usually ignore them, check your phone and hope for the best. If you were feeling generous, or just unluckily caught their eye, you might acknowledge they exist. They try to convince you of the fact that others need your help, but really you just want to be anywhere else than here. But maybe, just maybe, they could convince you that the impoverished people of some far away nation were deserving of your small, but potentially lifesaving donations.

So they’ve caught your eye, given you their pitch and you think the cause is worthy of your time and money: DON’T DO IT. Don’t agree to their small monthly donations. I know it’s the easiest way to ease your now flared up, angry conscious.

It’s the easiest way to feel proud of yourself for the rest of the day, but it’s a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t help

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out at all, you should do your best to make the world a better place.

They’ve only given you half the story. They’ve only told you about why this cause is worthy of your hard earned dollary-doos, not why they are. Why are they best equipped to handle the issue? As I alluded to above, money you give to one charity cannot be given to another.

So how can you know which is the best charity to give to?

Recently we have seen the emergence of so called ‘charity evaluators’. These organisations test the mettle of any charity transparent enough to let them with a rigorous, 100-hour long evaluation process.

The scientifically-based evaluation method is as complicated as it is important, so I won’t bore you with the gruesome details. This means you can compare charities, and choose give to the one that helps people the most. This is a vital step towards making an informed and compassionate decision to help those in need, while choosing to have the greatest impact you can. When the

decision can mean the difference between a charity that does very little or even has a negative effect (without naming any in particular), or a charity that can save a life for around $200 (according to Peter Singer).

Charity evaluation has limits, particularly that any type of evaluation they can reasonably achieve is reductionist. The entire process can often create results that may be an oversimplification. They can also calculate short term impacts much easier and more accurately than long term, creating bias towards short term results. For this reason, they have difficulty evaluating programs focused on advocacy and political empowerment. Another limitation is that some general categories are very hard to compare: is the environment more important than poverty? – charity evaluation will not give you a huge amount of help answering this. Despite these drawbacks they are an important tool to inform thinking around donations.

I know that most giving is done from the heart. People feel compassion and empathy for their fellow humans, and I don’t want to take away from the importance of this.

I also believe that if you truly want to make a genuine impact, then this kind of thinking should be valuable to the decision to give to, to help, and to aid others.

If you’d like a simple summary of what a donation could do in a few of the world’s most effective charities visit: w w w. t h e l i f e y o u c a n s a v e . o r g / Impact-Calculator

Riley took one morality class in first year and now look at what’s happened.

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ARTIST PROFILE: TESSA LAUREN My name is Tessa Lauren Milford-Behn and I am a 21-year-old Adelaidebased freelance fashion and portraiture photographer. I have previously been published in TEO magazine, City Mag, Feud magazine, GLAM Adelaide, and blog from tessalauren.com. When I am not out shooting, I study Media and Arts.

HOW DID YOU GET INTO PHOTOGRAPHY? I travelled a lot when I was younger and so started taking my Canon everywhere with me. After doing some modelling jobs, I realised how much I longed to be the creative mind behind the shoot rather than just the subject.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE? A whimsical, storytelling mood.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Everyday details. The morning light on my bus rides down from the hills.

The creative people I’re worked with who become close friends I can share my craziest ideas with. The greats; Alex Stoddard, Mariam Sitchinava, Claire Alice Young and Rosie Hardy.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY TAKING YOU? Out of Adelaide. I don’t think Adelaide can take me as far as I’d like to go. I want to become a self-sufficient fashion and art photographer who is able to travel to far away clients. Obviously the aim is Vogue; at the end of the day the aim is always Vogue.

Find Tessa Lauren @Tessa Lauren - Photographer on Facebook.

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Model: Lauren Bird Assistant: Captured

by Carolyn

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Shooting at Florence Fashion Week

Model: Ruby Woodward

Model: Alana Priest from Aud Models Make Up: Makeovers by Annie

Model: Lauren Bird Assistant: Captured by Carolyn

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JULIAN ASSANGE: THE AGE OF THE WHISTLEBLOWER WORDS BY: CHRIST Y ANNE JONES ART WORK BY: GENEVIEVE BR ANDENBURG

If you’ve been living under a political rock for the past six years, you might be forgiven for not knowing who Julian Assange is. However, for those of you who have not been following the story for years, popcorn in hand (as I have): yes, Assange is still in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London – probably dying both figuratively and literally of boredom and claustrophobia.

Yet in spite of his physical stagnation, the Townsville-born, Australian hacktivist, whistleblowing extraordinaire and editorin-chief of WikiLeaks, has recently found himself back in the spotlight after a UN panel ruled in favour of his case, deciding that Assange has been ‘arbitrarily detained’ within Ecuador’s London Embassy.

What does this mean for the greater scope of free speech, whistle-blowers and freedom-fighters everywhere, and, importantly, for the man himself ?

Not much, it would appear.

For those of you who have forgotten the series of unfortunate events that lead to Mr Assange’s four year detention, here is a quick refresher. Essentially, it is the story of the Australian journalist who founded the whistle-blowing haven, WikiLeaks. The site was created to give individuals a safe and anonymous channel to publish censored or restricted documents involving war, spying or corruption.

Since 2010, its most persecuted affiliates ( Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning, and Edward Snowden) have received nominations in six consecutive years for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Wikileaks has now published over ten million documents, including ‘Collateral Murder’: a video file contained within the War Logs (a now public deposit of thousands of cables containing government files, emails, records etc.) released by Chelsea Manning – formerly Bradley Manning – the United States intelligence analyst who has been sentenced to 35 years in prison for the leak. Manning has been subject

to solitary confinement and has been withheld her right to transition within her all-male prison. The footage brought to light by Manning includes a video exposing U.S. soldiers shooting down over a dozen civilians from an Apache helicopter in an Iraqi suburb. The incident wounded two children, and the condensed version of the video has over 15 million views on YouTube.

For exposing an act such as this, as well as many others, Chelsea Manning has received well over a life sentence and a dishonorable discharge from the US Army.

Similarly, the case of Edward Snowden, the former NSA and CIA employee who has been greatly associated with the whistle-blower movement for revealing to several journalists the surveillance of the American people by their own government. Snowden has received both a nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize and a warrant for two counts of violating the Espionage Act and the theft of government property.

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Finally, Assange himself. After publishing hundreds of thousands of cables with a large emphasis on U.S. war files, Assange’s sexual relations with two Swedish women (Anna Ardin and Sofia Wilen) resulted in four separate charges: sexual assault, unlawful coercion, sexual molestation and, finally, rape; charges Assange insists have no basis. The first three have since been dropped due to the length of the accusation and lack of official charge.

However, the rape charge will still stand until 2020. According to the ABC (Sex, Lies and Julian Assange, A. Folwer & W. Harley, 16/05/13), Assange went to police after the initial allegations were made. He was not charged with anything and left the country as a free man. It was only after he arrived in London did he receive an Interpol Red Notice, the warrant for his arrest and the call for his extradition back to Sweden. After fighting extradition for over a year and losing, Assange sought asylum in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. The difficulty is, having angered everyone in the US from Hilary Clinton to Fox News reporters (who, during prime time television, called for President Obama to ‘illegally shoot [Assange,] the son of a bitch’), Assange feared that Sweden would become a back door to further extradition to the US where he would be charged much like Manning. For this reason, without any official charges, Julian Assange has been living like a fugitive in the Ecuadorian Embassy for a number of years.

Which brings us back to the UN ruling: in spite of the panel deciding

that Assange has been unfairly and arbitrarily detained, this ruling is not legally binding in Britain or Sweden – an issue that makes the ruling arbitrary in itself. However, much like the Swedish and British governments, Australian politicians are not sold by the verdict; both the Minister for Industry, Innovation and Science, Christopher Pyne, and Shadow Immigration Minister Richard Marles view the ruling as ‘ridiculous’ and assert that Assange is ‘no hero’. Foreign Minister, Julie Bishop, however, is now undertaking legal advice in regards to the UN ruling and has stated that she offers Assange ‘consular assistance should he require it’ ( Julie Bishop seeks legal advice on UN’s finding on Julian Assange, H. Aston, 6/2/16).

And so, Assange stays in the Embassy indefinitely, hiding for fear of backdoor deals and eventual U.S. reprimanding.

The question is, I suppose, in this age of cyber warfare and globalised free speech, what is more important?

The critics of both Assange and WikiLeaks focus on the fact that whistle-blowing and publication of private documents put government employees at personal risk as well as, as Hilary Clinton stated, ‘attack the international community.’

(WikiLeaks: Hillary Clinton states WikiLeaks release is ‘an attack,’ T. Harnden, 29/11/10). However, perhaps it should be noted that the cables that have been shared (of any country) are those which have been deliberately concealed from the public. Whether you like Julian Assange, or not; whether or not you

believe he is a good person or a hero or worthy of a Nobel Prize; whether you agree with the public publishing of secretive government documents, the idea must be considered by all of us: do we want transparency or idealistic ignorance?

The question, really, is this: who do we value more, the State or the Individual? The lives that would have been otherwise silently lost, were it not for the sacrifice of both Assange and Manning? Isn’t justice for the eighteen people mercilessly shot down in Iraq (and the almost infinite number of other deaths recorded in the War Logs) worth revealing the corruption that caused it? The reason there are documents to hide is because there are crimes and atrocities to begin with. But, my final question is this: Who are the real criminals, who do we blame? The governments who, in their power and secrecy, are able to rampage and cause heinous crimes, or the person who called them out on it? To quote Assange himself, in a statement made after one year in the Ecuadorian Embassy: ‘It [has gotten] to the point where the mark of international distinction and service to humanity is no longer the Nobel Peace Prize, but an espionage indictment from the US Department of Justice.’

Christy is a T.S. Elliot fangirl, green tea enthusiast, and a writer of fantasy stories about faraway places.

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COMMENT SECTIONS & WHY YOU ARE LITERALLY HITLER WORDS BY: PADR AIG FYFE The world has been totally transformed by the proliferation of the Internet. Originally, the Internet was a tool for communication between machines; it evolved from this into a complex source of information sharing, which made it the repository of all human knowledge. And, thanks to the advent of social media such as Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, it has become something much greater; a place where you can compare people (known or unknown) to a 20th century dictator.

Make no mistake; social media is a wonderful tool.

Whether you like brand promotion, humour, dank memes, or simply keeping up with the busy lives of your families and friends, it has something to offer to enrich your life. However, the act of projecting ones thoughts into the Digital Void is fraught with strife, as you are subject to the judgment of whomsoever sees these thoughts.

unluckily for the rest of us, everyone’s family members.

Whether they share links about anti-vax, the dangers of ‘radioions’ produced by microwaves, or disturbingly isolationist memes involving minions, the more reactionary older people on Facebook will undoubtedly leave some gold in the comments section.

With Australia’s political climate as it is currently, one can gain great entertainment or perspective from browsing these comment sections. Whether it be playing Blame ‘Tone’ Bingo with leftie commenters, or Which Ridiculous Fucking Opinion Is It Today with crazy righties, there’s truly something for everyone.

YouTube is the unfortunate torchbearer for online shitslinging. Sharing an opinion in those comments is the easiest way to reach your daily quota of being called a ‘fucking faggot’ by a horde of dedicated teenagers.

Nothing quite sums up the wonder of YouTube like this stunning example of Godwin’s Law (credit to @ CookSuck on Twitter):

Exhibit A: Karen giving some perspective to the debate

However, Facebook is rapidly catching up in the beefstakes. Facebook is truly a global service, with the most users of any social media platform. This includes,

Exhibit B: Shelly makes a good counterpoint for the Caitlin Jenner sex change

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But if you REALLY want something to push you over the edge, I recommend the comments on Andrew Bolts or Piers Ackerman’s blogs, brought to you, on the Twitter, in regular tweets by @boltcomments and @ackercomments.

Exhibit C: Chris going in hard on gay marriage for the great ignorant profile picture/comment combo prize.

And BY GOD I beseech thee, never read the comments on news articles. Or even worse, the comments on blog posts. These can be good for a laugh, but generally won’t make you feel good about the continued existence of the human species.

If you’ve ever had Twitter, too, you can surely relate to the exhilarating thrill of reading the anonymous replies of several eggs to any personality. If you’re like me and have few followers (over 45% of which will be attractive females called webcamfunxxx), then the tables turn, and you are the one telling complete strangers to fuck off on a whim. Which, if you haven’t, I recommend you do immediately. To Cory Bernardi.

The Internet is, truly, the future.

Got any comment section heroics or nightmares to share? Send them to me at @pfyfe94 on Twitter!

Exhibit D: Ray is taking the divorce well.

Padg still remains the best argument that science has gone too far.

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THE RIGHT TO LOVE: TO BE GAY IN ITALY WORDS BY: LUCA RICCI

Throughout the centuries, enlightened men and women fought to grant the same rights to everyone.

While race and religion could have determined someone’s moral worth in the past, nowadays they’re as important as your favourite jam flavour. Of course, I shouldn’t generalise. There are still many countries in which old and stale ideas find place. There are still many societies in which prejudices and archaic beliefs hinder social development. However, we shouldn’t despair since ideas are not static and changes can happen even in the most conservative places. The case of Italy proves this point. During my holidays there, I was lucky enough to witness one of the nation’s major debates in the past fifty years: gay marriage.

DEUS VULT In 1095, under the banner of Deus Vult (God Wants It), the defenders of Christianity waged war against the Arabs in order to defend the Holy Land. Almost two thousand years after, like the first crusaders, many Italian politicians still use religious motivations for denying basic human rights to the LGBT community.

Italy has always been known for its

fervent devotion and Catholicism has always been known for its rather conservative ideas. Nevertheless, we have gone a long way from that religiosity which controlled and determined the fate of Europe, let alone modern politics.

While religion occupies a valid and important place in many people’s lives nowadays, the message of Christianity has changed within these two millennia. Medieval theology was permeated with the notion of a fierce, strong, almost cruel God. There was no place for softness back then. The Church and its main judicial branch, the Inquisition, meticulously carried out purges and genocides for five hundred years. From the Cathars in Southern France to the panEuropean witch-hunt, the leaders of the Church sought to defend Christendom with sheer violence. It is in this period that homosexuality acquired the most denigrating attributes.

Often associated with the devil, homosexuals were deviants who represented a serious threat for society. Their sexual practices were not tolerated even though they were practiced frequently and

secretly. Many famous intellectuals of the Middle Ages had homosexual relationships, often coated by academic interests. The case of Anselm of Aosta is the most significant. While in charge of a monastery, he also had an epistolary exchange (full of erotic content) with one of his colleagues. Since the 1960s, however, the Church’s approach to the homosexuality “issue” acquired new tones, also highlighting new attributes for God. In fact, the Church fathers abandoned the violent language of the Middle Ages, instead adopting terms such as ‘tolerance,’ ‘love,’ etc.

Unlike other Christian communities, though, the Catholic Church has not fully accepted homosexuality as an act of love. The old ideas might not be as strong, but they’re still present.

There might not be an Inquisition, but the prejudice and the social misunderstanding cause a serious damage too.

Perhaps, the justification behind this attitude is the most concerning aspect. While the message of Christianity refers to loving one another, still people interpret God’s will in an archaic, stale way.

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LOVE, LOVE, LOVE No matter what we believe about same-sex relationships, we need to acknowledge that the main ingredient is love. Once we realise this, we can start developing a new mentality. Gender and sexual orientation shouldn’t matter in determining whether people can have rights. At this point, why shouldn’t the State recognise the civic bond between two people that love each other? It’s regrettable that a guy cannot take care of his lifelong partner in hospital because the State doesn’t recognise their relationship.

It’s even more regrettable that couples are not allowed to raise children, thus not allowing them to form a family. Even though politicians might use sociology to prove the unsuitability of gay people to parenthood, the truth is quite clear: bigotry still rules the political tiers. However, there’s always light in the darkest of places.

After centuries of social prejudice, people’s understanding of samegender issues is improving. Nations, such as Spain and Ireland, known for their strong Catholicism, have understood that same-sex marriage is not an alien concept. On the

contrary, they started a process of integration, according to which sexuality does not occupy a major role in defining an individual. Of course, this process will not happen all of a sudden in Italy and other countries.

Surely, homosexuals will still be victims of social discrimination for many years to come.

What counts, though, is that the process of social equality has started. Notwithstanding political affiliations, the world is bound to recognise the legal rights of homosexual couples. After all, who cares what people do in the privacy of their own home? Who cares whether they are attracted to men or women? The answer is simple and straightforward: no one. And, to quote Pope Francis, if two people love each other, ‘who are we to judge?’

Luca gets really mad when people think tradition is more important than love.

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BOARD GAMES: NOT A TRIVIAL PURSUIT WORDS BY: KENDR A PR AT T ART WORK BY: R ACHEL WONG

DO NOT PASS ‘GO’ WITHOUT PLAYING THESE SIX BOARD GAMES It’s a Friday night. You’ve been working all week; struggling to stay awake during late afternoon tutorials, and trying to find synonyms for ‘therefore’ to avoid using the same word seventeen times in one essay.

You need to blow off some steam with your friends, and defeat all of them in one crushing swoop over a printed board dotted with small moulded pieces. But what game to play? Whether you’re a board games newbie or a connoisseur, I hope I can assist you in finding the perfect game to get overly competitive about.

For those looking to expand their Board Game experience, I cannot recommend the Hungry Hippo Board Game café enough. The food is delicious (and named with game puns) and they have a good selection of drinks. The staff are endlessly entertaining, and happy to recommend a game and explain the rules for you. They might even join in while you’re attempting to act out the charade card in Cranium. If you want to go on a Friday or Saturday night, you can book a table for three hours and it will cost you $5 each for gameplay. They are located on Hindley Street, near the Worldsend

Hotel, and no they didn’t pay me to write this article.

THE CLASSICS Scrabble: A solid choice, however, it can be a bit slow. For a high-stakes version of the game, I suggest the ‘Take 2’ variation of game play.

Ditch the board, grab ten tiles each and have them face down in front of you with the rest face down in the middle of the table. When the game starts, you quickly flip your tiles and every player has to make their own mini Scrabble grid in front of them.

Normal Scrabble rules apply and you can make the grid as simple or as complicated as you like.

The first person to place every tile into their grid calls ‘take two’ and each player picks two new tiles from the centre and attempts to add them to their grid. At any point in the game you can reconstruct your grid however you like, but it does pay to be cautious. Continue adding two new tiles whenever someone calls out, until all the tiles are gone. Score as you would normally, then subtract the value of any tiles that you didn’t use. Play as many rounds as you like and the winner is whoever has the most points when you finish.

Players: 2-6 Time: 10 mins+

Monopoly: The absolute worst game known to mankind and anyone who tells you differently is a liar.

How many times have you finished a game of Monopoly? I only have once, and the hatred I felt for the person who actually managed to claim ‘monopoly’ over the entire board is yet to be paralleled. It is slow moving, it ruins families and destroys friendships. When my sister asks if I want to play Monopoly, I assume she doesn’t want to talk to me for the rest of the year and this is the easiest way to go about it.

Best way to play Monopoly? Don’t.

Put it away in the back of your linen closet and go watch a nice nature documentary instead.

Players: Hopefully none Time: Eternity THE SOCIAL GAMES Cards Against Humanity: This game is amazing and totally inappropriate… the first three times you play it. It gets old pretty quickly as you realise that some cards will always win no matter what the scenario. For example; ‘Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine’ is almost a guaranteed winner, and I’m a sucker for the ‘Bees?’ card. My love for CAH diminished when my

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Mum announced that she had played it on a weekend away with another couple. Despite this, it is still an enjoyable way to spend an evening.

Players: As many as you can be bothered with Time: As long as you can be bothered playing Taboo/Balderdash: I am going to lump these two together as I think they are similarly enjoyable.

Both games involve guessing words/ definitions, and both can be very funny if you have a good group. In Balderdash, you are given an obscure word of which you all must invent a definition. The game master collects the answers and reads them out with the real answer mixed in, then everyone must attempt the guess the correct answer. Bonus points if you trick others into believing your own bullshit.

In Taboo, you team up and attempt to help your partner guess a word or phrase without saying anything from the list of taboo words. It often results in strangely complicated descriptions as you attempt to convey ‘apple’ without saying fruit, computer, Mac, tree, or juice. Each round you see how many words you can guess before the timer runs out. Not good for people who panic under pressure,

but great for those friends who can read each other’s minds.

Players: 3-8 Time: 40 mins+ STRATEGY GAMES Settlers of Catan: I can’t write an article about board games without mentioning Settlers. For passionate players, Settlers is to board games what Firefly is to science fiction TV shows. This game of strategy will see you create a new island every time you play, and then proceed to colonise it using small wooden road, city, and settlement markers. Furthermore, you must trade resources to expand your settlement, use your road to thwart the other players’ expansion plans, and slowly realise that no one wants any goddamn sheep. It may take a little while to set up the board and get your brain around the rules, but once you have it’s worth it. The expansion packs on the other hand?

Not worth it, stick to the original and best.

amount of tokens and cards put you off, they can be intimidating to begin with. I suggest playing with at least one experienced player the first time.

However, once you get into it, it’s great fun. There are lots of different ways you can approach the game and strategies you can use to win.

There is little chance element, so you can’t blame your loss on Lady Luck.

Players: 2-5 Time: 30 mins+ Obviously there are hundreds of other game options to choose from, but hopefully this provides you with a good starting point to delve into the world of board games. I also recommend checking out ‘Pandemic’ and ‘Betrayal at House on the Hill,’ for other good strategy games where you have to work as a team to beat the game. Happy Playing!

Players: 2-4 without expansions Time: 60 mins+ Lords of Waterdeep: This game is part of the D&D franchise and is pretty much the older brother of Settlers. Don’t let the ridiculous

Kendra is surprised that anyone ever invites her to play board games, as she is completely intolerable if she loses and even worse when she wins.

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LOSING WISDOM: HOW TO DEAL WITH WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL WORDS BY: HIL ARY D’ANGELO ART WORK BY: NATALIE CARFOR A Ah, university. A time for personal growth, toiling over work, meeting new people and, for some, the looming removal of their wisdom teeth. It’s not exactly a sought-after excuse to lie around, watch DVDs and eat ice cream while others dote on you for a week. For me, it was a time of ceaseless pain, increasing resentment towards liquid food, and cheeks so swollen that they put even the plumpest chipmunk to shame.

So, drawing on my own experience over what I’d deem a less-thanstellar past few weeks, I’ve compiled a list of things to consider when your time in the chair arrives.

DO: ARRANGE YOUR PROCEDURE TO BE WHEN YOU’RE COMPLETELY FREE Don’t book a time in the middle of the uni term. Really. Recovery can take anywhere from three days to three weeks, during which you’ll be too sore and doped up on painkillers to focus on any work. Fortunately, I was tactical enough to ensure that my procedure only interrupted my busy schedule of doing nothing. I then ended up resenting the fact that I was suddenly incapable of doing anything but nothing, even if I wanted to. Can’t help but love the irony.

DO: INVEST IN A BLENDER After you regain your ability to chew solids, it’s possible that the mere sight of a smoothie may cause you to shudder with revulsion. But before that, if you don’t have a blender, wtf are you going to eat for a week?

The alternative is to consume disgustingly excessive levels of ice cream, and believe me, we’ll get to that.

DO: MAKE SURE YOU’RE EATING ENOUGH Living on liquid food quickly becomes so mind-numbingly boring that it’s easy to under-eat on just a smoothie for each meal. That being said, if you’re not eating enough, then you’ll just end up feeling so much worse. Who could bear not having the energy to sustain watching DVDs and complaining all day? To help start you off, with pleasure I bring you a (legitimate) personal staple of mine – what I like to call the Fuel For Inactivity: 1.5 – 2 cups of coconut milk 2 frozen bananas 4 medjool dates 1 tbsp peanut butter 1 tbsp cacao powder

1 tbsp blackstrap molasses 1 tbsp chia seeds Guaranteed to bring some fuel to ensure you can complain about how boring liquid food is for as long as needed. Enjoy.

DO: USE THE PRESCRIBED MOUTHWASH AS PER INSTRUCTIONS Despite doing this one, I was somehow still blessed with an infection two weeks later. Just when I thought I was within reach of living normally again, I was of course awakened at 6AM by agonising pain. Better yet, the right side of my face had reinflated to an all-time-chipmunkpeak. I’m told my misfortune came down to “gravity”, but if you use the prescribed mouthwash three to four times a day until it’s finished, at the very least you’ll lower your chances of ending up right back where you started.

DO: FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON YOUR ANTIBIOTICS COURSE Although I eventually finished all the antibiotics I was given, I’m not sure that I actually took three

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capsules a day as I was instructed to.

Maybe that’s why I ended up with an infection...

DON’T: TRIP OUT UPON WAKING UP FROM THE PROCEDURE There’s no denying that anaesthesia induces a spaced-out mindset, which can be either slightly unsettling, or quite a hoot. It’s also a bit like a time machine. One moment you’re being told to relax, and the next thing you know, you’re in another room being told that the procedure is over.

That’s about as trippy as it gets.

I’d also advise against crying when you awake in that foreign room. I did this after waking from a procedure, and the response was an unimpressed instruction to stop on the basis that I was ‘making everything so much worse for myself’. Try not to become too distressed.

DON’T: REMOVE YOUR OWN DRIP WHILE AT HOSPITAL I wasn’t the offender here, but in my post-surgery drugged up state I was a little shaken by the commotion in the recovery-room seat next to me.

A poor, fellow patient had thought

it was wise to wrench the drip from her arm. This was met with much disdain from a nurse who was, to put it lightly, less than impressed.

DON’T: CONSUME 2L OF ICE CREAM IN THREE DAYS It seemed like a good idea at the time, it really did. The desire for immediate gratification combined with laziness and disinterest in preparing yet another smoothie took over. It’s no surprise that with two empty tubs beside me and a stomach full of processed crap and regret, I felt compelled to never eat ice cream again. Actually, if you need to overcome an ice cream addiction then this is probably an effective solution.

DON’T: BROWSE THROUGH ENDLESS FOOD BLOGS Honestly, when you’re on a no-fun liquid diet and liquid mindset, this is just about the worst thing you can do. I’m generally big on texture; I love the rough, I love the smooth – I even love the gritty. Yet I found myself pining almost exclusively for food I could chow down on, simply because I wasn’t able to. I also thought it would be fun to torture

myself by spending hours looking up new recipes, and drooling over photos of solid food. If you’d prefer to hold onto your remaining sanity, I would recommend sticking to my Fuel For Inactivity smoothie at least once a day, in order to curb the cravings for as long as ten whole minutes.

DON’T: COMPLAIN WHENEVER, WHEREVER, TO WHOMEVER Guilty as sin of this one. This sort of behaviour won’t change anything and will only be met with comments of ‘toughen the f *** up’ and ‘get over it’. However true this is, it’s definitely not what you want to hear when you’re feeling so sorry for yourself that swot vac is comparatively starting to look cruisey. Complaining is unhelpful, annoying, and offers no solution (unless you have a receptive and sympathetic listener, in which case, go to town). And in case you’re wondering, that is indeed why I opted for the guide format.

Hilary is overjoyed that she can now resume eating crunchy tacos and all things gritty.

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WATCH AND JUDGE: A CASE FOR TALENTED FILMMAKERS WORDS BY: ROBYN BAN KS

Like almost everyone on the planet, I enjoy watching movies. My favorite is the oft forgotten Knife in the Water. The Pianist, Chinatown and an upcoming drama about the Dreyfus Affairare also excellent films I’ve enjoyed or am looking forward to – and they are all tied by the fact they are directed by the same man. For 61 years he has made remarkable films. Nihilistic, brutal, tragic; many moments in them are unforgettable.

The director in question is Roman Polanski, currently evading charges made against him in 1977 for the alleged molestation of a thirteen year old girl named Samantha Geimer.

He has an Interpol red notice, and Poland won’t extradite him back to the US to face justice.

Polanski however, is not alone in this behavior. Bill Cosby, another master of his respective field, has been accused of over 50 counts of rape – the incidents spanning decades. His appeal to delay an evidence hearing by alleged victims in Pennsylvania was recently denied.

And lastly, Woody Allen – much praised in Hollywood – has been marred by allegations of sexual abuse from his daughter, Dylan Farrow.

Throw in the fact he married his ex wife’s adopted daughter (describing the relationship as working on the basis of their previous ‘child/parent relationship’) and well… Tinseltown, and its approach to crimes and those that commit them, is pretty fucked up and not very shiny.

To defend these men would be extremely wrong, but to deny their work is nonetheless excellent is also wrong.

The problem is, at what point do we draw the line between praise and condemnation? Roman Polanski continues to receive awards and praise for his original storytelling in period dramas, crime films and thrillers. Cosby’s work with Sidney Poitier, promoted casts of black actors in mainstream media. He was also the first man of AfricanAmerican descent to get a major role in a TV show. Like Cosby, Woody Allen reinvented comedy.

His romantic, European inspired films are renowned for rich characters, and humour underscored by

philosophical meaning. Allen and Polanski are linked by the fact their work is critically acclaimed by audiences and filmmakers alike, their works multilingual and universally appealing.

Moreover, whilst directors are often acknowledged for the whole work, we forget in our haste to point fingers that Polanski and Allen helped contribute and encourage the success of numerous actors, composers, writers and cinematographers tied in to their work; whilst inspiring countless others. None of their projects have openly pushed, promoted or defended their actions, or attempted to curry favour with the audience. The work is not a reflection of who they are as a person other than in an artistic sense.

To appreciate or follow their work does not excuse them at all from scrutiny, nor label you as a supporter of their actions. I wish all three are sent to the most painful circle of hell. But turning away from the work limits appreciation of art and culture, and how being an asshole is not mutually exclusive to being talented.

When he’s not robbing banks, Robyn is hiding his real identity from On Dit.

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CAN WE STILL ENJOY THE WORKS OF WOODY ALLEN? WORDS BY: ALICIA FR ANCESCHINI

I was once a fan of Woody Allen’s work. Not a great fan, but a fan nonetheless. As a teenager I made a point of sitting down to watch and study Annie Hall. I had heard that Diane Keaton’s character was the perfect portrayal of what a cool, quirky and tomboyish girl should be.

I found that the relationship between Allen and Keaton’s character also thrilled me. They argued and disagreed all the time! Oh, what a perfect depiction of real love!

From Annie Hall I moved on to Manhattan, and went to the cinema to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Midnight in Paris, which was one of my favourite films. Until a few years ago. When Allen accepted his Lifetime Achievement Award at the 2014 Golden Globes, the dust that had settled surrounding past allegations of his sexual abuse of a child, were once again stirred up. As I learnt of the dark history surrounding Allen and Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter, Dylan, it was difficult for me to reconcile my love for his work, and the disgust I was beginning to feel towards the man’s alleged past actions.

Hollywood is an industry that all too often is more than happy to gloss over the abuse perpetrated by its brightest stars, so long as it can continue to make a buck. Just to

throw a few names out there, Roman Polanski, Bill Cosby, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, and Michael Fassbender have all been accused of the abuse of women, but still continue to work and thrive in the prestigious and inherently flawed industry.

You can attempt to separate the artist from their work, but Allen’s work continues to time and time again, feature uncomfortable elements from the director’s real life.

For example, the casting of 26 year old Emma Stone and 55 year old Colin Firth as lovers in Magic in the Moonlight, without even mentioning their nearly 30 year age gap at any point during the film. Not even once.

A much younger women falling for an neurotic older man is a theme that features in almost every Woody Allen film and not only is it stale and boring, it can also be harmful if not creepy too.

sensible move the Hollywood Foreign Press has ever made. It showed contempt for survivors of abuse and perpetuated the notion that if you are a powerful and successful man in big business, nothing can tear you down. We need to think harder and longer about these issues before we celebrate someone who may not be worthy of our attentions. We need to stand in solidarity with victims of abuse, because it is so damn hard to come forward and identify yourself as such. This is the main reason I cannot enjoy the films of Woody Allen any longer.

I do not feel comfortable supporting someone who has even been accused of such terrible crimes. Honoring Allen with a Lifetime Achievement Award was probably not the most

Alicia is a harpy queen that enjoys truffle risotto and speaking French badly.

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MIRROR WORDS BY: L AUREN COPL AND

Shattering.

Twinkling.

Shards.

Irreparable mirrored fragments clatter against the unforgiving floor below. The mirrors’ destruction accompanied by the scream of shattered glass; both piercing and tinkling to the ear. Its demolition enabling the line between two worlds to blur, and subsequently, encouraging the decision of which was real and right to be made.

A humming sound, akin to a relentless earth mover, was furrowed deep within my head.

Standing opposite the expansive ornamental mirror, with its intricately crafted swirls of gilded gold, I pondered the injustices of the girl before me. Trapped within the elaborate frame, she implored me with her seemingly endless, goldflecked brown eyes. She stretched her hand towards me, as if hoping that our connection could help her to escape her entrapment. Sadly, prisons are rarely that straightforward to evade.

‘Lexi!’ The shout broke me from my reverie.

Flinging the protective cloth back over the mirror I scurried down the attic stairs, only to be confronted by my grandmother standing erect before me. She was quite a formidable sight. Dressed in the rather matronly attire typical of the 1950’s, she exuded powerful dominance in a

bespoke and perfectly-tailored navy dress-suit. She lived by the mantra that ‘you only get one chance at a first impression’. Her face, a hard mask barely touched by the natural blemishes of age, scarcely encased the love that shone from within.

‘You’ll be coming back tomorrow, won’t you? I think that there’s still more that needs to be sorted.’ She spoke knowingly, as if she knew that I hadn’t been doing my job.

I nodded and left with thoughts of the girl in the mirror clouding my mind, and the sound of the hum still lingering. **** Uncovering the mirror caused innumerable dust motes to fill the room, dancing in the golden sunlight permeating from a small sash window. She watched me curiously as I went about this task; her eyes following me throughout the attic.

Yesterday her eyes were merely sad, now, dark shadows resided beneath them and her previously pale skin had taken on a sallow hue. It was as if the very essence of life had been stolen from her and in its wake she had shrunk into herself.

The persistent and invasive hum had not left me; all of this mental exertion had caused it to increase to

a pounding sound like a jackhammer working upon pavement, a continual, thud, thud, thud.

I began dusting volumes of leather bound books, all filled with the carefully chosen words and complex thoughts from some long ago time.

Freeing them from their age-worn, glass-fronted prison, I thought again of the girl in the mirror and what a lonely life she must be living, or, existing within. Her appearance worsening each time I lay my eyes upon her.

Sneaking another glance in her direction, I notice that the edge of her black dress has tattered and dirtied, and her weight plummeted.

In there she suffers whilst out here I am blessed with beautiful possessions; jewels, books, furniture, and clothes included. How unfair that life inside should be so bleak yet outside it is joyous?

All the books dusted, I moved onto a moth-eaten box filled with old photos. Familiar faces of people who’d shaped my past, stared back at me in all different states of smiles and serious expressions. Dressed in their finery, looking exactly the way society deemed acceptable in their eras, it looked like little had changed from that time. I was still confined to behave and dress in a way that social decorum stipulated.

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Stealing one last look at the girl in the mirror I slunk out of the attic.

I wish I hadn’t looked back. Her hair was coiled in thick strands, pointed out from her head like snakes waiting to strike some unwilling victim, and there was sorrow in her red rimmed eyes.

She attempted to speak but her lips would not permit the sound to escape.

happy, and yet there was some seemingly untraceable familiarity between us.

Pound. Pound. Pound. As the sounds increased in volume my head began to ache. The relentless questions that the girl awakened within me, were wreaking havoc with my mind. It hurt at the thought of her hurting, and ached at the desire to release her.

An ablution of unbidden tears cleansed my eyes, obscuring their vision thankfully, I couldn’t bear to watch anymore. It wasn’t fair that she was locked away in that jail, that hell, whilst I was free.

Grabbing the oriental vase next to me I flung it with all my might at the mirror. Momentarily the mirror rippled in a wave around the vase and then it absorbed the impact, shattering, sending shards of glass flying outwards. She scampered backwards, cringing away from the debris. This destruction was surprisingly satisfying as if my breaking the mirror had also fractured something deep within me.

Once all the glass had descended to earth, she reached a hand forward.

Our fingertips touched lightly, briefly, and I was caught for a moment by the terrifying similarities we possessed. An ear splitting scream filled the room.

The appearance of my grandmother once again broke me from my musings. ‘Lexi,’ she said calmly, ‘don’t forget that the attic needs to be ready for the family portrait later.’

I smiled ruefully as I left her.

Running back up to the attic, I surveyed the scene in the mirror.

She looked in my direction but her unfocused gaze didn’t appear to see me. An air of desolateness hung about her caused by the heavy burden of solitary conf inement. Such differences between us, her miserable and I

My eyes welled to see her so morose, salty liquid leaving a snail-trail down my cheek. Her eyes were begging for release, fingernails scraping frantically at the glass cage, whilst her legs, spent with unrewarded effort, collapsed beneath her.

****

Suddenly, the lines between two worlds blurred, and the decision of which was real and which was right had to be made. The girl in the mirror was no longer there and neither was the pounding in my head. I, alone, stood amongst the glistening wreckage. The awareness of everything that had happened was slowly sinking in; the emotions that I had been repressing for so long, were finally being released.

I had fought so long to hide her; the embodiment of my true feelings.

I had buried her beneath the facade that everything was alright, believing her to be unfit for the world to see. I had been trapped and unable to express myself, but now that I have acknowledged her existence we have been freed.

‘Lexi, honey, are you alright up there?’ My grandmother released me from my thoughts once again.

Smiling with true joy, I answered honestly. ‘I’m no longer trapped inside my head.’

The lines between reality and imagination, the things that we tell ourselves and the truth, can be completely blurred that often we are left wondering which one is which.

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HORRORSCOPE

WORDS BY: MAX COOPER

He was always trying to tell our future But he was never very good at it He steeped the tea too long And the leaves clumped together At augury he was too directionless To follow the flights of flocks His attempts at numerology Never quite added up And he never could divine much With the way he used his rod.

But when I laughed At yet another attempt Something inside of him snapped And we discovered His haruspicy had been hidden Inside me all along.

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HOW TO: OVERCOME WRITER’S BLOCK WORDS BY: CIANA CHIN

After spending the last three months of summer break doing nothing but chilling (or maybe working at a parttime job), there is a chance of writer’s block occurring to most of us, if not all of us.

There are a couple of methods for overcoming writer’s block that I’d like to recommend to you.

ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGE This is a favourite of mine. I’ll lock myself in a quiet environment, away from the worldly distractions, whenever I’m stuck for ideas. The change of atmosphere will help to stimulate the creative juices and keep the mojo going.

Delving into the serenity may even assist you to concentrate on refining the work into a polished version. Whether I’m penning a creative piece or completing assignments, it allows me to eliminate the distractions around me and focus on the points that I want to elaborate on.

FREEWRITE The best method that I’ve learned from my Grade 12 teacher is freewriting.

Time yourself to write all of the ideas that pop up in your mind (even though they may not make any sense) for about 10-15 minutes. Once the time is up, review what you’ve written and underline the ideas with the following highlighters: red for the ones that you’re eliminating on the spot, yellow for the ones you might include and green for the ones that you’re definitely expanding on.

FRESH SET OF EYES WITH DIFFERENT IDEAS Leave the work aside once you’ve done your freewriting.

Take as much time as you need (although 2 to 3 days is the recommended period) to allow the mind to rest.

You’re able to look at the work from another perspective once you return to it with a fresh mind. Not only that, you have a new input on expanding it.

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MUSIC STAY IN, DO NOTHING | HORROR MY FRIEND REVIEW BY: KATE SANSOME 4/5 | Horror My Friend have been delivering their chaotic live shows around Adelaide for a while now. They have supported the likes of British India and Violent Soho whilst gaining the attention of Melbourne record label, Poison City Records who they recently signed with. The three­-piece finally released their highly anticipated debut album, Stay In, Do Nothing and celebrated the release by playing the album in full at Clarity Records last month.

The band have been described as somewhere amongst shoegaze, post­punk, and alternative rock whilst drawing

on influences of 90s grunge. If you have seen the boys perform over the past year, you would recognise some of the tracks off the album that they have snuck into their set list. Stay In, Do Nothing is filled with driving drums, chaotic riffs and howling vocals. The title track, Stay In, is filled with catchy alternative­pop melodies and brooding, college­punk vocals.

The boys are currently on a national tour and will be hitting Adelaide in celebration of the release at Jive, on April 1st.

FILM SUPER | JAMES GUNN REVIEW BY: ROB L AWRY

3/5 | Deadpool won big at the box office, proving for many that superhero movies can and should take risks with its audiences. And sure, Deadpool is more absurd, violent, explicit and dirty-minded than most other films in the genre – but if you really want to push these to extremes, you can’t overlook Super. Now there’s a fucked up movie.

I’ll explain: our main character is Frank Darbo (Rain Wilson), a fry cook who has no friends, violent tendencies, and suffers a series of spiritual hallucinations. Frank does have a wife (Liv Tyler), but she soon relapses into addiction and shacks up with her charismatic drug dealer, played

by Kevin Bacon. Naturally, Frank’s only resort is to don a red suit, recruit a kid sidekick (Ellen Page), and act out vigilante justice with his trusty pipe wrench.

Dark superhero movies feel like a dime a dozen but Super’s virtue is that it doesn’t wallow. The film’s writer and director, James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy), brings a warped sense of humour and stages some excellent montages (mostly set to Swedish punk and ska tracks) but most of all he brings empathy. Somehow, Gunn allows us to feel sympathy towards Frank without making us feel psychotic for doing so. The payoff in the film’s closing scene – a heartbreaker – is well earned.

Super won’t please everybody, and there really isn’t any sense that it’s trying to. Instead, it’s simply content in being interesting, provocative, and gleefully deranged.

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COMIC: THE AMATEUR COMIC BY: JOHN HARGREAVES

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RANT SPACE WORDS BY: MAX COOPER

The Safe Schools Coalition is a group of schools and organisations dedicated to making schools an inclusive and supportive place for LGBTIQ students. The Federal government has also commissioned a review of this.

The justification for this review is a concern that material may not be age-appropriate, but listening to members of the government like Cory Bernardi or George Christensen, it’s because the program’s materials encourage “indoctrination” into a political agenda, or prematurely sexualise students, or, most outrageously, groom children like a paedophile.

All of these justif ications are retrograde bullshit. Homophobes like Bernardi and Christensen have been accusing gay people of corrupting the youth for as long as there have been gay people, and it doesn’t look like they’re stopping any time soon.

Though the comparison of antibullying programs to paedophilia is the most odious attack (so far), it isn’t the only dangerous one.

The idea that learning about queer issues will sexualise children ignores the existence of queer children.

I can tell you from personal experience, they exist. They know themselves, and they hear arguments like the ones against Safe Schools.

I can tell you, again from personal experience, when they hear enough of these arguments they’ll consider ending it all.

These experiences are all too common amongst queer people, and since the Prime Minister announced this review, queer people from all walks of life have come out in defence of the program. Older people have talked about how hard it was to deal with their sexuality growing up and how much it would have helped to have a program aimed at helping them, while younger people have talked about the material ways that the Safe Schools program has made a difference in their lives.

I’m not sure if the critics of the program, whether they’re federal politicians or groups like the Australian Christian Lobby, don’t know or don’t care about the staggering rates at which young queer people attempt suicide —

somewhere between 6 and 14 times the rate for straight people — and the enormous contribution that homophobic and transphobic bullying makes to this, but I frankly don’t think that it matters.

I think that Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews got it right when he said ‘Let’s be honest here: I don’t think these extreme Liberals are actually offended by the structure of the program, or the teachers who lead it. I just think they’re offended by the kids who need it.’

Because let’s be clear: getting rid of a program like Safe Schools won’t stop the students it helps being queer.

It won’t stop them from knowing who they are. But it will stop them from receiving support that they desperately need. And in some cases, it might even stop them from getting the chance to grow up.

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MR STABLES AND MISS L’S CORRESPONDENCES ISSUE 2: Mr Stables and Miss L have once again established ourselves into the usual university life, fuelled by a modicum of G&T and enough whisky to cause serious liver and brain damage. Our trips to Howling Owl and UniBar are on the rise, and we expect depression to shortly follow suit. Also a reminder we do not provide the original question, merely the answer.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL FIRSTY - Hey, I would address the lecturer by their first name. Try to avoid starting with “Hey” (go for “Hi,” instead). Most emails we send to our lecturers tend to take hours and hours of drafting, only to receive a one word reply from the lecturer.

INSECURE - To be honest, I’m quite happy with the little thing that I’ve got, but people want it big, like African big. We all know the Africans have the biggest amount of received foreign aid in the world, and if you’re thinking about starting up a charity, you’d probably have to start off small like the Stables and L Charity Fund (which helps keep us supplied with drinks). Once you establish yourselves then you can think big and try and get on par with major charities like Caritas.

LINKEDIN DEMON - I’m afraid that’s just wishful thinking.

I understand it’s every Professions student’s dream to have an employer go to them and ask if they want a job. Unfortunately, you have to put yourself out there and network network network – but don’t network too much, lest you become that infamous Adelaide University student that everyone knows and openly hates.

CAITLIN - I think you need to be comfortable with yourself as it’s not entirely unnatural to find a man who’s trapped in a woman’s body.

You’ll find a lot of those people in any hospital maternity ward, or in a club down in old Soho where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca-Cola.

BOB THE SNOB - There is only one real university in Adelaide – keep that in mind when it comes to choosing a university.

IMPATIENT - Dear Impatient, even though it is easier than studying 5 or so years for it, I would not suggest buying a PhD certificate from those internet sites that sell doctored degrees.

DR VEGANPOWER5000 - Do you even have a question? You

sent us a statement rather than a question. I do like your style though – protests dairy products, milks poor “research”.

JORGE DEWLY - Jorge writes: ‘Your puns are terrible, you should go around answering questions without having to incorporate puns.

They are really bad!’ Your sentiment is Dewly noted.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE CONCERNED STUDENT - If your period hasn’t come after 2 months then you’re either probably pregnant or reached a full stop in your menstrual cycle. I’d say you are preggers and in very big trouble. You’ll be glad to know that in Australia abortions are relatively inexpensive. But if you’re really skint, just get into a fight or *accidentally* fall down some stairs.

FIEND - I think you should see a doctor. I also think you should be more prudent as to whom you decide to ‘go back to their place for sexy time’. And please (and this goes for everyone), don’t ever describe your disease with us again. We are in no way interested in hearing about your pustules and the ‘creamy gravy’ that oozes out of it when you pop it. What did you do, drag your crotch on the floor of Reds?

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DODGY CRAFTS WITH MADDY AND EM

PIMP MY JEANS EDITION

WORDS BY: EMILY HART AND MADDY SEXTON ART WORK BY: EMILY HART With the onslaught of festival season comes the inevitable emergence of coolerthan-you artist-type people with killer style. This below-average tutorial will help you revamp the average Joe jeans you have from your Year 10 op-shopping days. So pretty much the same thing.

YOU WILL NEED Average Joe jeans that hopefully still fit A texta Sharp scissors A fraying device (we used a cheese grater) (we are not kidding) Assorted patches An iron

1. Put on your average Joe jeans and mark the hem at a cool crop length.

But don’t go too short or else you’ll be obliged to shave more of your leg(s) than necessary (or not, if that’s your thing). Now take those jeans off before you cut the hem at the marked point.

2. Fraying jeans is a satisfying harmless act of violence. We used the smallest, sharpest side of the cheese grater that may be meant for parmesan (who knew?) and grated the freshly cut ends of our jeans until they were frayed to our liking. If you’re feeling grate, try cutting a slit in the knee(s) of your jeans and grate that too. Go all out!

3. If you are a motivated go-getter type, you could now wash your jeans to get out your texta mark and to further fray the hems, but if you are like us then you should advance with gay abandon to the next step (this one). This step involves patches, which for us meant a trip to Spotlight (craft church). You could get yourself some

patches from eBay or Etsy or, if you’re willing to forego guac on your burrito for a while, from craft god Kitiya Palaskas’s website dream heaven, kitiyapalaskas.com. You c uld get one patch if you want to be boring but fifty plus is more fun. Arrange your patches on the jeans to see where you want them to go. Or don’t.

4. Patches usually come with an adhesive back activated by heat (dodgy crafter ideal situation), so you can just iron them on. If you don’t have an iron, go home. Otherwise you could try the hottest setting on your hairdryer, but this is not a tested method. *** Wear your jeans in the wild. Go where no man with average Joe jeans has ever gone before. Go to Woolies, go to party, go to the cheapest show you can find at the Fringe because all your money is currently represented by small patches on your ass. Maybe one day they will become actual currency.