Dr. Love
The best love advice around Today is the tenth day of EASA2010 and more importantly last night was night number nine - also the night of the legendary National Evening. Now to those of you who have already found love (you know who you are Mr. and Mrs. Sex in the Showers) well done. You work quite fast (except in the shower that is...) To the rest of you jealous EASA love-seekers don’t worry. There is still some time for Dr. Love to find your lonely desperate souls someone to share the last few days with and not add this trip to your growing ‘Holidays I didn’t get laid on’ list. The National Evening provides an excellent opportunity to meet people and finally find out the name and nationality of the hottie you spotted at the bar a couple of days ago, without having to suffer the embarassment of staring at the tag hanging on their chest so intensely that they think you are a creepy pervert. After an incredibly mismatched mixture of drinks last night (sangria from Spain, rakia from Serbia, ouzo from Greece, the weird coffee drink from Norway...) a lot of EASA-ers started feeling less lovesick and more plain old sick. Dr. Love agrees that having a shot with the hottie you like is a good idea..especially if you are a bit on the ugly side. If you are hopelessly ugly then have another... and another...until the hottie is convinced that you are actually the hot Latino guy or the blonde Scandinavian goddess we mentioned before. After the right amount of shots (scientifically proven to be inversely proportionate to how good-looking you are) the best thing to do is dance with them and seduce them. Tip of the day: Given the sheer amount of unconscious people and piles of vomit found at the end of the National Evening, Dr. Love advises you to be more
confident. Everyone knows the saying ‘one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor’. Well the floor is only good if you’re there with the hottie - not very attractive if you are rolling alone in your own sick feeling like death. So stick to three tequilas (a step before the floor) and have fun. Focus on your good-points and emphasize them, smile a lot and show-off those sexy dance moves you’ve been practising in the mirror. If you follow Dr. Love’s advice next time you are out then you should have an amazing evening. If all goes according to plan and you succeed without making a fool of yourself or ending up in hospital head to the third floor of Downtex for some more substantial ‘alone time’. Rumour has it this is where the best sweet lovin’ has been taking place... Dr. Love wishes all EASA loveseekers good luck. And remember...keep spreading the love <3
lost...
_accomodation _bar license _some people?
...and found
_easa spirit everywhere, keep smiliing, we gonna do it! _tired organisers keep fighting _really nice showers at the sport center :)
IF YOU’VE LOST SOMETHING, JUST GO TO THE INFOPOINT AT DOWNTEX. PROVIDE A GOOD DESCRIPTION OF THE ITEM PLEASE. PLEASE, TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU PERSONAL BELONGINGS! KEEP THEM IN ORDER AND REMEMBER TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK IN YOUR BAGS AND THEN TO CLOSE THEM. :)
WTF picture of the day:
EASAUK 010 ENGLAND . MANCHESTER // DOWNTEX ISSUE NO 04 //MONDAY, 9th OF AUGUST 2010
a l l e r B U M KEEP AN EYE ON THE NEWS, IT MAY BE ABOUT YOU...
RESPECT THE RULES_DRINK RESPONSIBLY_BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU
If somebody can tell Umbrella WTF is this “sculpture”....
WHAT’S UP TONIGHT?
nice and quiet movie night! all together at the gym from 9.00 pm on.
Today we are learning French with Hugo :
cheers!: santé! Is there any plugs for the hairdryer?: Est-ce qu’il y a des prises pour le sèchecheveux?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Ok, people, your bags are gonna be removed from this space. could you pack your things quickly and put your name on it?
Giulia’s advice of the day
“Banging your head on the table actually works”
«I’ve seen things wouldn’t believe.
other
forced to relocate to the gym at night, and that is only at the favour of the beautiful people of ManUni. So please, let’s not also kill this favour by behaving properly when around there. This means please close your suitcases, cause the mezzanine still looks like Downtex.
people
Fire inspectors circling around the sunken shoulders of the organisers. I watched 400 drunk people walk in the dark near Deansgate. All those moments will be lost in time, like gin into tonic. Time to move. [again]» © 2010 EASA Runner, the director’s cut «Chips or glory!? Rakia or vodka?!» «If the troubles we’ve had during these past few days will not soon come to an end ... they will just have to continue.» «Keep calm and carry on.» Well, after last night’s total meltdown and complete abandonment of all things sensible, Umbrella is wondering why 400 architects together in one room are better at tearing something down than they are at actually building something up. About half a dozen ambulances and a massive number of 5-0 - including a proper sheriff’s car with decent revolvers - were sent out to take care of all those inexperienced drinkers
who couldn’t cope with the (mostly thanks to Eastern European death poison) booze-induced carnage that took place at Downtex not even 24 hours ago. To paraphrase the greatest stateman this country has ever known - suck on this, Maggie - , never in the field of EASA’s history was so much drunk by so many in so little time. Really, people, we need to take a good look at ourselves and, without puking over all the disgust we might see, think about why this happened and how we can make the best of it for the rest of EASA010. Not just for us, but especially for the organizers who poured more than two years of their lives in this. Without an alcohol license that is already more feasible, but we should also pay attention to some other things.
2. TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S SHIT In order to relieve some pressure off the organizers shoulders, we should all together make sure nothing silly happens anymore. So, if you see anybody do anything stupid - using facebook @ madlab, abuse toilets at the gym, write things on walls they’re not supposed to write on - please tell them not to do it. Really.
3. DON’T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS Because stupid questions deserve stupid answers. We are all grown-ups and supposed to shape the world around us, so really, we don’t know where your teddy bear is.
So, in fashion with one of EASAs finest traditions, here is once again a list of things to consider:
4. DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH
1. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SHIT
Pretty self-explanatory.
Through some sloppy red-tape abuse by the local firebrigade we have been
U M B R E L L A N e w s p a p e r @ g m a i l . c o m
Dr Dashorst Manchester review
Piccadilly Gardens Another building on the site that is intended to improve the public functioning of the area, is a pavillion designed by Japanese architect Tadao Ando - his first one in the UK - and completed in 2002. The structure was built as part of the ‘Piccadilly Regeneration Study’, focused on ways to “significantly upgrade the major area of public space at Piccadilly Gardens; to undertake modifications to Piccadilly Plaza to improve its appearance; to make it more manageable and accessible; and to introduce new activity”.31 Although the study deemed it unrealistic that the space could be completely redeveloped, it did point out that a few ‘minor’ investments could already realize a lot of improvement in the overall image of the square. These investments focus around the renovation of the Plaza complex, opening up the two-storey podium, raising the permeability of the otherwise too hermetic structure, and creating another arcade in the city centre, from Parker Street, bordering the Gardens, through the Plaza to York Street. Ando’s pavement pavillion, in his typical style consisting of concrete slabs, wood and generous amounts of glass, forms the southern end of the square, blocking the Metrolink tramstop behind it from view. The fact that the space had long been a public transport exchange node, with both a tram and a bus station, thereby creating an easily accessible destination yet also something easy to leave - a circulation space rather than a occupation space - was one of the reasons for the city council to gradually abandon
maintaince of the space, waiting for investors to take up the job of regeneration. Extended from the new arcade through the Plaza complex is an opening in the semi-circular pavillion structure, that continues into a bridge-like structure that spans a elliptoid fountain. The fountain, nowadays hardly ever operating after complaints of local youth loitering around it, caused criticism as well. People had difficulties understanding why Manchester - a rainy city - was in need for something that would create even more rain.32 Other critiques of the plans, which were announced in 1999, focused on the character of the space. Before its decline crafted like a semi-rural flower garden, the “nouvelle cuisine international style” of the redesign failed to incite a lot of enthousiasm from the local population. Today many are reminiscing the old, protective atmosphere of the gardens, which were once a “sunken garden oasis in the city centre”.33 The new Piccadilly is indeed no longer an oasis. Ando’s concrete pavil-
lion, the red brick development on Portland Street and the large patches of grass and concrete brickwork paving sum up to a contemporary, effective urban space. However, it is no longer a subtle urban space. It hardly engages in a dialogue with its mostly Victorian surroundings; the fact that the completed project reminds the general public perhaps most of the Piccadilly Plaza complex is striking, that being the building it was supposed to make people forget.
the Civil Justice Centre
The most recent addition to Manchester’s arsenal of public buildings, is the Civil Justice Centre or Civic Justice Courts (CJC), designed by Australian architects Denton Corker Marshall and completed in 2007 at a cost of £113 million. As the first major courthouse built in the UK in 125 years, it is distinctly different from its predecessors, having taken in all the lessons learnt in one-anda-quarter century of law and justice. Whereas most people have the idea that a courthouse should be a dramatic gesture in the city, a massive structure complete with columns, stairs and preferably executed in white marble, the CJC is something else. The architects have simply taken the required programme, imagined it as a “club sandwich, turned on its side and pinned together by toothpicks”40, creating a new, colourful highrise in the greyish skies over Manchester. The complex, normally handling cases with a civil intention, houses 47 courtrooms, 75 consulting rooms and an even larger number of other facilities, ranging from temporary holding cells to cafeterias and a bookshop, making it a uncanningly pleasant place to be around. Given the limited size of the building plot, the project could go no other way than up, to a total of 22 storeys. What resulted was a building that opens up to the city, showing that it has nothing to hide, yet at the same time “ordered, compassionate, direct and to a huge scale”.41 [to be continued...]
Wo!manchchester studies:
different names of profession of architects in european languages according to their gender: Slovakia : architekt / architektka Portugal : arquitecto / arquitecta Latvia : architekts / architekte English : architect Serbian : architekt / architektica Denish : arkitekt Holland : architekt Polish : architekt / architektka Czech : architekt / architektka German speaking countries: Architekt / Architektin Russian : architekt Albanian : architekt / architekte Spanish : -kto / -kta Ukranian : architektor Greek : - ktonas / - ktonisa Lithuanian : - kte / - ktas Hungarian : epitész ! Malta : perit / perita !! Armenian : chartaraped !!!
Outcomes: In all other languages, that have grammatical genders, architecture is a feminine word. Only masculine form for „architecture“ is in Malties language ! But they also call architect : „perit“ , does it resemble to something ? But there are more languages, where architect have a strange name : in Hungarian architect is „epitész“ and in Armenian „chartaraped“ ! In different languages, the use of female and male form of architect differs, in some of them, like English, there is only one form for both (as they are no grammatical genders) and in Slovakian for example, you will distinguish architekt (M) and architektka (F). In some languages, they do have a different words, but they use just the masculine form for both.
Who’s the boss here? Born on the 5th of february
1983, Christopher Maloney was an easy and cute baby. Already snoring as hell, Christopher spent his childhood in the great city of Manchester, most of the time in different hospitals, and finally became an architect in 2008, 2 years ago. Better known as “Chris” or “ChrisMaloney” in one word, he is, as you’ve seen, the boss in this EASAUK010. Even if EASA seems to be a lot of fun all the time, we gonna give you a quick list about the différents activities he’s doing everyday long.
A ChrisMaloney’s day EASA start like that:
@
5:30am: going to bed, by pushing his girlfriend on the floor. 6:00am:snoring as hell in the middle of the HQroom, full of 45 other people 6:30am:asking everybody around for tea/breakfast/something.. 6:45am:waking up! 7:00am:looking for the van’s key in paul’s pocket (should also be “looking for Paul somewhere on the floor”.) 7:05am:looking for the van 7:15-7:45am: trying to start the engine. 7:45 to 8:30am: shouting around to get everybody in the van. 8:30am: driving to the HQ 8:45am: shaking hands with the fire inspector 8:50am:running around
9:00am:making decisions 9:15am: going shopping with Jonny (armani, versace and much more) 11:00:distributing food/fruit/whatever 2:00pm: visiting severals workshops, buying material for HopeMill, shaking hands with fire inspectors again, running around... 4:00pm:looking for new accomodation 4:20pm:shaking hands with policemen 4:30pm: editing new rules 5:00pm: NC meeting 6:00pm:running around 7:00pm: visiting new accomodation+driving the van+filling the bar+eating diner+moving 678 luggages through the city 8:30: wishing being at the lectures while carrying 4 bags at the same time+driving the van+answering the phone+shaking fire inspector’s hands+screwing smoke detectors to the ceiling 10:00pm:drinking some beers 11:00pm:driving the van (...) 11:30pm:back to Downtex, answering several questions+drinking a gintonic+speaking with bouncers midnight: enjoying the middle of the day+moving some bags 2:00am to 5:00:losing keys of the van, losing the van, losing Paul, waking up helpers, closing fire doors,hiding cans in the courtyard,shaking hands, whatever... 5:15am:waking his girlfriend for...
Heather the Weather-sweater says: Tonight: The yesterdays collations of air masses from different parts of Europe might cause heavy storms and strong lightning tonight.
proudly presents.. After years of Rakija tradition in easa, Ma!Kita decided to distribute the new and improved version of this all time favorite spirit. We now present the proper way to consume this product. If you donʼt follow the steps inspectors might kindly ask you to get rakia out of your stomach and move it to sports center in black bags asap. In case of fire please remove your ass from Downtex; after some rounds you will be as inflammable as an air mattress.
Tomorrow: Local but frequent showers in the morning. However, some sunny spells during the day once it will get going.
In order to use it you will need:
5-day outlook: Changeable weather.
sandwich
Heather the weather-sweater considers wether she had better start wearing leather in the nether. Because of the ether she’d be a trendsetter. So you’d better tell her in a letter that you’ll get her another sweater.
A mancunian manchesthairfree fireman showing off his mangestures.
rakijaNE010 easa’s spirit
MArko
just in case
next morning hangover relief
Leylaʼs / Bojanaʼs memory recovery unit
1. EAT item n1. This is the most serious step. 2. Find Marko, Serbians are like Hilton, visible anywhere in manchester 3. check that item3 in an easy access position. Later you will need to repeat this step without thinking. 4. Scream BABY YEAH. Scream it again in Serbian. 5.-10. Drink. 11. shake your body, be a moving human cocktail. 12. repeat step 4 in 40 languages 13. hang around Leyla or Bojana, they will give you useful answers tomorrow. 14. letʼs see if you remember step 3. 15. if not, repeat steps 2-13. 16. avoid small talk with anyone in black uniform. 17. donʼt sleep unless you see some baskets around you. CM will be in trouble.
enjoy!
Inspector Neufert investigates EASA
We’ve all heard about the UK restrictions...but now it’s Downtex’s turn to be investigated. Let’s see if Chris will pass the stress test.. Today he checks the cleaning duties.
Cleaning Equipment : If you happen to find one or all of these items please contact InfoPoint
Emma’s special SM waking-up technique (30 tk @ IP)
Emma’s 24/7 typical position
Un-IDENTIFIED objects
Emma and the 7 bins