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SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017
Mallory Bryan ‘17 sity arolina State Univer Attending North C ip recipient as Park Scholarsh
n ‘17 Crishon Washingto e University Attending Penn Stat larship recipient as Millennium Scho
“BE YOURSELF AT HIGHLAND”
“Highland’s motto is an invitation, not an imperative. An invitation to become more than you were the
day before, to make challenging yourself habitual
instead of uncomfortable. It took a little longer than usual, but I bought in to Highland’s motto and as a result I am the greatest me I have ever been.”
– Crishon Washington ‘17 in a speech at Grandparents Day, April 20, 2017
About Highland School: We are a co-educational Pre-K2 to Grade 12 independent day school located in Warrenton with a unique focus on experiential learning. Find out what sets Highland – and Highland’s students – apart at www.highlandschool.org.
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contents VOLUME I ISSUE IV SUMMER 2017
SHE! TIME
Mind. Body. Soul.
14 SUMMER ESSENTIALS UNDER $100 17 IN HER BEACH BAG 19 10 WAYS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM GUILT,
STRESS, AND BODY HANG-UPS
SHE!S GOT IT
Passion. Style. Flair.
23 ASK THE WISDOM COALITION 24 SWIMSUITS FOR EVERY BODY
SHE! CELEBRATES
Concoctions. Libations. Celebrations.
31 HOST A “POSH” VINEYARD
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24
PARTY WITH YOUR PUP
35 9 SUPER COOL SUMMER COCKTAILS
40 SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES 45 WHO’S THAT GIRL? ON HER MIND 48 WOMEN GIVING BACK
17 14 SHE! SUMMER 2017
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A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY! First then comes planning. FAMILYcomes OWNED ANDlove, OPERATED
Family owned and run for 42 years and counting! At Chestnut Forks, we believe an active lifestyle is the key to living better. And it’s that point of view which drives us every day. If you enjoy recreational sports and fitness in a family-friendly, social environment, then you will absolutely love Chestnut Forks!
TENNIS: Tennis can be done with private
instruction, in clinics, tournaments and league play. For ages 4+ and ALL levels. The best, most accredited pros and programs in the Northern Virginia area will provide you with an exceptional learning environment and unsurpassed curriculum. We are the only facility to offer 4 indoor and 4 outdoor tennis courts within a 20 mile radius. We guarantee you rally after 10 minutes of instruction!
FITNESS: We are the right place to achieve your fitness goals. Membership includes unlimited use of our Fitness facility, unlimited LifeLines Group Exercise Classes. We offer Les Mills Body Pump, Yoga, Chair Yoga and Active Adult Classes. Our Fitness Coordinator, Langdon Johnston, has over a decade of experience in personal training. Small Group Training is offered and insures individual attention.
7 8 s 1 es 20 n t Fi , VA s & ton i om c n . n ren 3 ks e T ar 82 or m m s k W .0 utf 0p 0p r Fo d • 347 stn 9:3 – 1 m t u oa 0. he – am 0p m n st e R | 54 @c am 30 6:0 00p .com e i fo F: 5 5: – 6: ks Ch irl n i - r: am – or A : l i -W Thu 00 am tf On 9 a 7 M & 8: 0 nu s ! 3 m 6 E - 9:0 st U ok t e Tu Sa un .che llow ebo S w Fo ac F w w
SWIM/POOL: We offer a members only pool. Billy’s Snack Shack offers treats of all sorts and is the best in town. The Chestnut Forks Blue Marlins Swim Team, have been #1 in Fauquier Country for years. Week long swim lessons offered from our certified lifeguards.
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Patti Brown takes your real estate needs as seriously as you do. Real estate is Patti’s passion, and she is dedicated to helping clients reach their goals.
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our goal is to provide exceptional service.
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Member of the Warrenton and Fauquier Chambers of Commerce Volunteer and Member of the Board of Directors of the Fauquier Boys & Girls Club
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SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017
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SHE 'S HERE Editor’s Note
Several months ago, contributor Carolyn Thombs approached me with the idea for Swimsuits for EVERY Body (page 24). If you know Carolyn, you know she’s a beauty, the human embodiment of Wonder Woman. Looking at her, you’d think she’d have no problem putting on a bathing suit. But you’d be wrong. “Seriously,” I believe she said, “I’d rather have a root canal.” Right then and there I knew the feature would be fabulous. Written, styled, and photographed with one goal: to get you – and me – feeling beautiful, confident, and, (dare I say it?), sexy in a swimsuit. Not an easy task to be sure, but she and designer Terry Tocci have done it. And while they worked their magic behind the scenes, the Universe caught wind of our efforts. About three weeks ago, I logged on to LinkedIn to discover a connection request from a woman named Nancy Werteen. She’d heard of SHE! through a mutual friend, loved the magazine’s emphasis on empowerment, and wondered if she and Kim Howie, her partner in The Wisdom Coalition, could contribute a feature. I was impressed with what I read about The Wisdom Coalition
On the Cover
IN OUR MAILBOX That’s What She Said
(because of course I Googled it as soon as I finished reading her note), and responded with, “Sounds like a good idea. Just send me a sample of something you’ve written first.” Not ten minutes later I was reading Nancy and Kim’s latest columns, and you know what they were about? Bathing suits and vulnerability. Thank you, Universe. You can read both columns on page 23. They’re terrific. From our gorgeous cover girl Cory Feeley, to features on banishing body hang-ups and the benefits of shooting like a girl, this is my favorite issue of SHE! so far. I hope you love it, too. More than that, I hope you love you a little more (ok, a lot more) after reading it. I also hope you’ll go through your closet and throw anything that doesn’t make you feel beautiful into a bag and donate it to Women Giving Back in Sterling. The SHE! team will be there Wednesday, September 6th from 10am to 1pm handing out tee shirts and mugs and snapping selfies. Join us for a great time for an even greater cause. Full details are on page 49. Cheers!
Susan
The “Well on Wheels” autism awareness photo shoot was such an amazing experience for everyone involved. Thank you SHE! -Frederique Vincent, Broad Run VA I love the spring issue! I’m so glad I subscribed! -Julia Michelson, Toms River, NJ Just received our copy of the spring issue at the office today. Great work! -Yaron Linett, Warrenton VA I love SHE! Bravo all! -Sandra Millner-Ficklin, Delaplane, VA Advance praise for this issue’s Swimsuits for EVERY Body feature on page 24. Thanks for inspiring women of all ages to defy media stereotypes and prove that all women are beautiful. -Angela Griggs-Gitsis via Facebook This looks like a Dove commercial. I love it. All beautiful women. -Debbie Loreto Domer via Facebook I love this. All the women look beautiful. -Doreen Hogan via Facebook
SHE !
Published Quarterly by Piedmont Media, LLC Address: 39 Culpeper Street, Warrenton, VA 20186 Phone: 540-347-4222 • Fax: 540-349-8676
Real life real women
Publisher: Bailey Dabney bdabney@fauquier.com
She! Editor: Susan McCorkindale smccorkindale@fauquier. com Cory Feeley photographed exclusively for SHE! by Amy Bakalov, Photography by Amy Nicole. Creative Direction and Makeup Artist: Carolyn Thombs, Carolyn Thombs Artistry. Designer: Terry Tocci, Terry Tocci Designs. Hair: Erika Postelle, Kreative Beauty Services. Cover Design: Meredith Hancock, Hancock Graphics.
Talk To Us! 8
She! Art Director: Cindy Goff cgoff@fauquier.com Executive Editor: Kari Pugh, 540-351-1166 kpugh@fauquier.com
Advertising Director: Vicky Moon, 540-347-4222 vickyannmoon@aol.com Advertising Production Manager: Kathy Mills Godfrey, 540-351-11162 kgodfrey@fauquier.com Advertising Consultants: Patti Engle pengle@fauquier.com Syliva McDevitt smcdevitt@fauquier.com
Liliana Ruiz lruiz@fauquier.com Kate Sprague ksprague@fauquier.com Heather Sutphin hsutphin@fauquier.com Classified Consultants: Jeanne Cobert jcobert@fauquier.com Evelyn Cobert ecobert@fauquier.com
DESIGN Visual Design Editor: Chris Six, 540-347-4222 csix@fauquier.com Ad Designers: Taylor Dabney tdabney@fauquier.com Cindy Goff cgoff@fauquier.com Annamaria Ward award@fauquier.com
Tell us what you think about this issue. Send your feedback directly to smccorkindale@fauquier.com. Letters may be edited for space and clarity. SHE! SUMMER 2017
TEAM SHE! Who We Are
SUSAN MCCORKINDALE EDITOR
Susan McCorkindale is a mom, autism and mental health advocate, and the editor of SHE!, SHE! Gets Married, and SHE! Means Business (debuting in October). She is also the author of two books, Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl and 500 Acres and No Place to Hide, More Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl. In her spare time she enjoys hanging out with her sons, painting her new place (and sometimes actually getting paint on the walls), and reading. smccorkindale@fauquier.com
CINDY GOFF ART DIRECTOR
Cindy Goff is an award winning graphic designer and the owner of Dreamspeed Photography in Warrenton. She specializes in business and conceptual portraits. She graduated from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh and has a M.F.A. in creative writing from George Mason University. cgoff@ dreamspeedpress.com
AMY BAKALOV Amy Bakalov is an international wedding and portrait photographer based in Northern Virginia. Whether she’s telling your love story by capturing your wedding day or telling your continued love story by capturing your newest addition, her passion and commitment are shown in the work she creates. When not behind her lens, she’s at her children’s sporting events or watching movies with her better half, Dennis. photographybyamynicole.com
LATISHA BROOKS A resident of Fauquier County with clients all over Northern Virginia, Brooks is a highly sought after photographer with a talent for capturing life’s special moments. From lifestyle events to maternity, newborn, family photos, senior pictures and more, Brooks’ gift for getting the shot keeps clients coming back for every occasion. 703.856.3024
LAURA GRESHAM CLARK Laura Gresham Clark has lived in Middleburg for 15 years. In 2002, she and her husband founded Wylie Wagg, a healthy pet food and supply company with five locations in VA and DC. They sold the company to a California-based chain in late 2016. laura.g.clark@gmail.com
DANICA LOW Danica Low is a freelance writer and a local marketing professional. For fifteen years, she has worked in the public and private sector, public relations, administrative and non-profit work. Her real enjoyment is encouraging and connecting with others. Crafting a story to bring light to a journey brings her joy. higherpr@gmail.com
SANDRA PACKWOOD Sandra Packwood is the founder and owner of DeJaVu Apparel, LLC. Trained in Europe as a Millner, Packwood has worked with such fashion icons as Escada, Lagerfeld, Chloe, and Jil Sander. A personal styling
powerhouse in her own right, Packwood has a keen eye for both high fashion and street styling, and is committed to empowering women to help them express their inner beauty every day. doyoudejavu.com
ERIKA POSTELLE Erika Postelle has been in the hair industry for over 15 years. Her specialties include bridal hair, special events and photo shoots, she is dedicated to providing you with a unique look that will have everyone in the room in awe of your beauty. kreativebeautyservices.com
SUSAN ROGERS Susan Rogers is the coauthor with her Westie, Posh, of Posh Celebrations. Susan has been giving parties for her pets for years and decided to partner with Posh to help others celebrate their furry family members in style. In a previous life, Susan spent several years as a corporate tax attorney. Today she specializes in small business tax issues and wine law – and planning parties with Posh!
CAROLYN THOMBS A professional makeup artist specializing in editorial and bridal makeup, Thombs also writes about beauty and fashion on her blog, Lipstick & Chiffon. Her greatest joy is helping clients get comfortable with new techniques and products, and discovering their perfect beauty routine. Her favorite accessories? A leather jacket and red lipstick! carolynthombs.com
SHE! SUMMER 2017
STELLA VEREDUCCIA Stella Veraduccia is the pen-name of the proprietress of Crest Hill Antiques & Tea Room in The Plains, Virginia. In past lives, she was an English teacher, writer and editor, nonprofit executive, and founder of a fictitious organization called The International Sisterhood of Eccentric Aunties. These days she spends her time escaping to England whenever possible. crest-hill@hotmail.com
NANCY WERTEEN AND KIM HOWIE Nancy Werteen is an award winning television news reporter and anchor with WFMZ TV-69 in Allentown, PA. Kim Howie is a Certified Health Coach, author and designer of her signature Pure Energy Program. Together, Nancy and Kim created The Wisdom Coalition, a collaborative community built to help women flourish, thrive and find joy in every aspect of their lives. TheWisdomCoalition.com
KATIE YEAGER Katie Yeager is the managing editor of the Kettle Run Chronicle, Kettle Run High School’s award winning student run newspaper. She is also a starting member of the varsity volleyball team, and a member of the USAV travel team at the National Open level. Katie started writing at a very young age, and hopes to major in media literacy and play volleyball in college.
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SHE! SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017
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SHE! SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017
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SHE!SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017 SHE!
SHE! TIME Mind. Body. Soul.
HOW TO GET A BIKINI BODY: 1. PUT A BIKINI ON YOUR BODY 2. STOP CARING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS
Must read books for your beach bag Summer essentials for under $100 Banish your body hang-ups forever SHE! SUMMER 2017
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SHE! TIME | Mind. Body. Soul.
13 Summer Essentials for under $100 BY STELLA VERADUCCIA PHOTOS BY STELLA VERADUCCIA
There are certain summer essentials a girl’s gotta have. Here are 13 of our favorites for under $100 each!
Tantalizing tootsies. Keep your feet sandal-ready with a luxurious Spa Pedicure, $35-$45, at Marshall Day Spa, 4199 Winchester Road, Marshall, 540-364-0411 or marshalldayspa.net.
Fun frocks. Cute little numbers by Patagonia in various colors, $69, at Tri-County Feeds, Fashions, Finds, 7408 John Marshall Highway, Marshall, 540-3641891 or tricountyfeeds.com.
Summer reads. Stock up on mysteries, romance, history, or whatever inspires you, $10-$25, at Second Chapter Books, 101 West Washington Street, Middleburg, 540-687-7016.
Don’t leave home without one. Lightweight fabric sunhats by Scala have UPF 50+ rating and block 97% of harmful UV rays, $25, at The Village Green, 6902 Leeds Manor Road, Orlean, 540364-7664 or facebook.com/ thevillagegreenorlean.
Refreshing! 20 individually wrapped essential-oil towelettes by Herban Essentials in lemon, orange, peppermint, lavender or eucalyptus, $18, at The Village Green, 6902 Leeds Manor Road, Orlean, 540-364-7664 or facebook.com/thevillagegreenorlean.
Bluemont Concert Series. Bring a blanket or lawn chair and enjoy great music — bluegrass, soul, swing, pop, blues, brass, traditional Irish, or whatever the Pan Masters feel like playing— on Friday nights in Culpeper, Saturday nights in Warrenton, and Sunday nights in Leesburg , $5 per person, info at 540-955-8186 or bluemont.org. 14
SHE! SUMMER 2017
Free those piggies. Summer footwear in all shapes and sizes, $18-$35, at The Very Thing for Her, 6630 Jefferson Street, Haymarket, 703-743-1494 or theverythingforher. com.
Here comes the sun. Wide-brimmed natural straw hats keep your head cool and your skin safe, $15-$25 at Crest Hill Antiques & Tea Room, 4303 Fauquier Ave., The Plains, 540-253-5790 or cresthillantiques.com.
Summertime blues. Sterling silver and turquoise jewelry in a variety of hues and styles, $18-$100 at The Very Thing for Her, 6630 Jefferson Street, Haymarket, 703-743-1494 or theverythingforher.com.
Totally worth the trek. Nothing says summer like baseball, and a Washington Nationals game is an absolute blast. Single tickets range from $10-$100 depending on the opposing team and seat location; more info at washington.nationals.mlb.com. Buy fresh, buy local. Veggies, fruits, berries, herbs, flowers, eggs, cheeses, meats, honey, and other delights from our local farmers’ markets; to find one near you, visit Loudounfarmersmarkets.org or Virginia.org/ farmersmarkets.
Tasty flight. Sample craft beers made in the BrewBarn or enjoy live music and chefprepared specialties on weekends in the Pavillion Beer Garden; flight of 4 brews for $12, at The Farm Brewery, 16015 John Marshall Highway, Broad Run, 703-753-3548 or thefarmbreweryatbroadrun.com. Retro chic. Multi-colored maxi-dress by Chico’s, $35, at The Very Thing for Her, 6630 Jefferson Street, Haymarket, 703-743-1494 or theverythingforher.com. SHE! SUMMER 2017
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In Her Beach Bag
SHE! TIME | Mind. Body. Soul.
Swimsuit, sunblock, and a few good books – selected just for you by the SHE! team – and you’re set for wherever you find yourself this summer.
Missing Pieces By Heather Gudenkauf
Practically Perfect: A Novel By Katie Fforde Reviewed by SHE! advertising consultant Liliana Ruiz
Practically Perfect: A Novel, is a beautiful, romantic and unexpected story about the difficulty of letting go and moving on. Fforde is an incredible storyteller, pulling you in from the first page and keeping you captivated through the twisting and suspenseful plot. I stayed up all night just to finish it!
Reviewed by SHE! contributor Jennifer Handford
relax, I take a pile of Katy Regnery’s books. She’s got several series and some modern day fairy tales like Never Let You Go. They’re easy, fast reads, and she tells a good story with a little heat thrown in. Perfect beach reading.
cause you don’t fit the typical ‘feminist’ characterization, I implore you to plop your oneof-a-kind-self down next to me on a beach towel and borrow my copy. Roxane Gay will introduce you to real feminism, an -ism oft purposely misrepresented, but especially vital in today’s polarized culture. Oh, and by the way, wear whatever swimsuit you darn well please.
Bad Feminist By Roxane Gay
In Gudenkauf’s Missing Pieces, Sarah Quinlan is curious about her husband’s past, his hometown, and the deaths of his parents, but never to the point of suspicion. Yet when they’re called home to tend to an aunt, Sarah can’t help but follow her journalistic instincts to uncover clues that beg for explanation, forcing her to question whether she knows her husband at all.
Reviewed by SHE! contributor Maddison Hicks While I bask in the sunshine cellulite and varicose veins like embroidery on my deliciously human body - I will be rereading Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist. If you’re afraid of joining the feminist sisterhood be-
Never Let You Go By Katy Regnery Reviewed by SHE! contributor Marianne Clyde Whenever I go on a trip where I really want to get away from all the stress and just
SHE! SUMMER 2017
The Memoirs of Cleopatra By Margaret George Reviewed by SHE! advertising consultant Kate Sprague As a student of history, I’m usually drawn to historical narratives even if the historical accuracy is negligible. This 1000-page narrative about the famed Queen of Egypt makes it easy to get lost in the sands along the Nile and the imagery of an ancient civilization at the heart of human history. There’s just enough historic detail to give the story of Cleopatra’s life some semblance of her place in the socio-political perils of a mighty kingdom at war with mightier nations, and just enough gossipy scandal about her infamous lovers, Caesar and Marc Antony, to make it an excellent choice for wiling away long summer afternoons by the pool or on the beach.
NEW RELEASE! Launch Day is Aug 14th Plan to buy your copies that day!
COME HELP ME CELEBRATE! Monday, August 14th from 5-7 pm at Stoneridge Events Center
Marianne Clyde, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is the founder of the Marianne Clyde Center for Holistic Psychotherapy, Winner of the 2017 Best of Warrenton Award for counseling/therapy. Her team offers individual, couples and marital therapy as well as seminars and groups.
20 Ashby Street, Warrenton, VA 540-347-3797 • www.marianneclyde.com
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SHE! TIME | Mind. Body. Soul.
10 Ways to Free Yourself from Guilt, Stress, and Body Hang-ups By Laura Clark
O
ur society has an ever-increasing obsession with peak performance, perfection, and beauty. Women are supposed to do all and be all, while looking gorgeous 24/7. We’re bombarded with airbrushed pictures of idealized female forms and faces. Aging, an inevitable result of living, is reviled. No wonder so many of us find ourselves in a veritable tsunami of isolation and self-loathing.
What’s a woman to do? Embrace some age-old wisdom. 1. Recognize the gift of being unique in this world, and accept that not everyone will like you. No one achieves universal approval. As long as you have one or two people who love you, you are wealthy beyond words. You be you. 2. Live in the present. Don’t obsess over the past or fret about the future. This compulsion robs us of enjoying the priceless ordinary moments that make up each day. It steals our sleep and pillages our peace. Stop. It. 3. Know that every life is a tapestry of tragedy and comedy. Genuinely understand that you are not victimized when things go horribly wrong. Instead, reach out to friends and family when the unexpected happens. It will, and you can get through it. The greatest people are those who have deep empathy because of experience. 4. Give often. A global Harvard Business School study found that people who are generous are happiest overall. It turns out that giving feels as good as receiving. This isn’t about money. Offering time, expertise, or goodwill is powerful. 5. Eat well. What you fuel your body with deeply affects your state of mind. Let go of sugar and processed SHE! SUMMER 2017
foods. Learn to love what your body needs. You might have to do a little planning, but it will pay off in spades.
There are so many other things I could have included here: 6. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. 7. Forgiveness is an elixir. 8. Retaining anger is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die. 9. Toxic people are dangerous. 10. Trying to control others is futile. Pay close attention to the first five tips, however, because they are the most transformative.
J
oseph Campbell said that we must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. It’s time to replace the pressure, self-criticism, and negativity with gratitude for the chance to live this incredible life. It is wondrous, and so are you. When you stop berating yourself for perceived failures and flaws, you just might see how beautiful you are. And you just might realize the unparalleled gift of simply being alive. 19
3 Hens on an Adventure to Find Pieces from the Ages, Perfect for your Nest.
JUST RELAX AND ENJOY THE VIEW
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SHE’S GOT IT Passion. Style. Flair.
“EVERY GIRL IS EXPECTED TO HAVE CAUCASIAN BLUE EYES, FULL SPANISH LIPS, A CLASSIC BUTTON NOSE, HAIRLESS ASIAN SKIN WITH A CALIFORNIA TAN, A JAMAICAN DANCE HALL DERRIERE, LONG SWEDISH LEGS, SMALL JAPANESE FEET, THE ABS OF A LESBIAN GYM OWNER, THE HIPS OF A 10 YEAROLD BOY, THE ARMS OF MICHELLE OBAMA, AND BARBIE’S BREASTS. NO WONDER WE’RE ALL STRUGGLING.” TINA FEY
Ask the Wisdom Coalition Bathing suits and vulnerability
SHE! SUMMER 2017
Swimwear for EVERY body (yes, every body!)21
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SHE! SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017
SHE!S GOT IT | Passion. Style. Flair.
Ask the Wisdom Coalition
This issue, Wisdom Coalition co-founders Nancy Werteen and Kim Howie talk bathing suits, vulnerability, and courage. Full self-esteem ahead! Swimming in Vulnerability
Vulnerability is the Root of Connection By Kim Howie
By Nancy Werteen
Putting on a swimsuit makes me think of breakfast. I’ll tell you why in a minute, first some background. Once upon a time, I used to order swimsuits out of the Victoria Secret catalogue. Seriously, I’d just pick one, put in my size, and bam. Swimsuit accomplished. I didn’t even know how good I had it. I actually picked based on things like the color of the swimsuit. These days it’s not so easy. There’s usually an ugly, sweaty, scene in some dressing room with me grunting and wrestling with some impossibly tight something or other. At the same time, I’m doing a lot of work sucking in this and pushing out that. Once I finally settle on the least horrific of all the choices, I think of breakfast. It has to do with pancakes up front, something that resembles scrambled eggs in the rear and a big loaf of bread around the mid-section. So now I spend my time focusing on cover-ups and the excuses I’ll use to wear them.
Things like, “Oh, I’m a little chilly” or “Thinking about heading to the restroom soon.” Uh-huh. Which brings me to the point: What could make you feel more vulnerable than a swimsuit? And you know in some countries, they actually go naked to the beach. Can you imagine? No cover-ups or push-ups or miracle suits. I’d like to be that comfortable with my own vulnerability. The truth is I’m just not. I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else than talking about my feelings. Now that I think about it, if you come to my house during a challenging time, you’d think you were in a comedy club. That’s always been my safe place – making jokes to divert attention from whatever the real issue is. Yes, I’m working on it. But in the meantime, if you see me in my cover-up? Just tell me it’s a nice color and please, don’t say anything about breakfast.
Simply stated, vulnerability is having the courage to allow your true self to be seen. It takes courage to remove your mask and armor and let others see the real you, but opening yourself up and letting others in is vital for authentic connection. You may have been conditioned to see vulnerability as weakness, but in fact it takes a strong person to own their truth, to stand tall and be brave when they feel uncomfortable. Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW and author of Daring Greatly, says that vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. She states that to feel is to be vulnerable. So if we believe that vulnerability is weakness, then we believe that having feelings of any kind makes us weak. Brown states that vulnerability is the birthplace of
love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. And she proclaims that if we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path. Let’s make a pact with one another to stand strong together, be courageous, real, and vulnerable so we can live our lives with more love and joy.
Reach out to The Wisdom Coalition at TheWisdomCoalition. com and submit your questions. They will select two to answer in each future issue and provide practical, solution-driven advice.
Did I miss a spot when I was shaving my bikini line? Do I have a zit on my back? I think I’m the fattest one here. I feel a weird breeze. I hope my top isn’t falling down. I can’t get in the water. What if this thing’s see-through when I get out? I can’t sit or I’ll look all rolly and get cement marks on my rear, but if I just stand here people are going to stare at me and think I’m weird. Oh my God, I can’t breathe.
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SHE!S GOT IT | Passion. Style. Flair.
SwimsuitsforEVERY Body By Carolyn Thombs Creative Direction and Makeup Artist: Carolyn Thombs, Carolyn Thombs Artistry Designer: Terry Tocci, Terry Tocci Designs Hair: Erika Postelle, Kreative Beauty Services Photographer: Amy Bakalov, Photography by Amy Nicole Models: Diribe Denegde, Reigna Fall, Cory Feeley, Frederique Vincent, and Tanairi Zarazua
Like many women, I love and hate summer. Why? In a word, swimsuits. It’s not an easy task finding something flattering. Either you’re overflowing up north and the south is sagging, or there’s too much gaping “up there” and the situation “down there” practically requires steel girders. Is it any wonder so many of us would prefer not to
be seen at the beach? Have no fear, finding that perfect suit is attainable – even if you have to have it made. Seriously. It’s the easiest way to take the angst out of swimsuit season. The suits featured here have all been custom created by Terry Tocci of Terry Tocci Designs and they fit and flatter on every front.
Here on Tanairi and Cory are two variations on the classic one-piece. For those who are more modest in their swimwear choices, these options are perfect for you. They work on everyone from thin to curvy.
Here Frederique, Cory and Reigna show you how to take your swimwear from the beach to the resort bar. Add a stylish cover-up and order a cocktail. It’s that simple. 24
SHE! SUMMER 2017
SHE!S GOT IT | Passion. Style. Flair.
For those of you who prefer a two-piece, Diribe, Reigna, and Tanairi are rocking three variations. Diribe has on a classic bikini. Reigna is wearing a high-waisted short with a top that offers a little more support. Tanairi’s is for the lady who likes suits with a bit of embellishment for an extra pop of pizzazz.
“Flattering swimwear is achievable, and turning to a designer to create a suit that flatters your body and makes you feel fabulous is – believe it or not – budget friendly.”
Another way to either accentuate or minimize is to choose a fun pattern like Diribe and Frederique are wearing here. Depending on your choice of pattern, you can draw the eye away from or toward a particular body part. Because of the all over style of these prints, these patterns actually do both.
Tocci’s full bikinis start at $75, about the same price you’d pay at Nordstrom or Macy’s for a suit that “sort of” fits. Says Tocci, “I design for women of all sizes and shapes, and
all those sizes and shapes are beautiful. The secret is identifying which parts to accentuate and which to minimize if that’s what makes the client feel good. My only goal is to make a wom-
an feel so confident and beautiful that,” she adds with a smile, “she never misses another day at the beach.” For a peek at all Tocci’s fashions, visit terrytoccidesigns.
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Host a “Posh” vineyard party for your pup
By Susan Rogers Photos Courtesy Susan Rogers
V
ines, wines, fun times – what could be a better location for a summer party than one of Virginia’s beautiful wineries that welcomes dogs. My Westie, Posh, started traveling the state to check out wineries when he was just a pup, and today he’s the master of the vineyard party. His seven steps to planning a posh vineyard party for your pup are as follows. 1. Call your favorite winery
and inquire as to its pup policy. 2. Tell the winery when you’re coming, the number of humans and dogs you’re expecting, and what kind of games and/or activities you’ve planned for the party. 3. See if the winery can provide water bowls for your pup and his pals, or if you need to bring your own. 4. Ask the winery to do an outdoor tasting and a winery tour. These activities lend
themselves to a super good time for your four-legged guests. At Posh’s first vineyard party, he held a “Best Wine Dog” contest. Each dog drank water from a wine glass and Posh awarded prizes for Fastest Drinker and Funniest Drinker. Include other fun contests such as Best Owner/Dog Look-alike and Most Stylish. 5. If you’re celebrating a special milestone for your pup, such as a birthday or adoption, consider giving guests a special remembrance of the party. Ask the winery if it can create a custom label using your dog’s picture or put custom stickers of your dog’s picture on a bottle of the vineyard’s wine. 6. A winery is also a good location for holding a fundraiser for an animal rescue group. If you’ve adopted your pup from a local shelter, why not celebrate him joining your family by inviting your friends and their dogs to a “Welcome to the Family” party? Send the rescue group’s “wish list” with your invitation so your guests can support the folks who helped you find your new best buddy.
parties and it was a big hit, particularly when he realized he had way too many baguettes and guests got the extras to take home. Provide goat cheese or boursin cheese as a base on the baguette, and toppings such as roasted red peppers, sun dried tomatoes, pesto, honey, pecans, walnuts, pine nuts, olive oil, chili flakes, fleur de sel, blueberries, radishes, roasted corn, and cherry tomatoes. Additional menu items can include a cheese and charcuterie platter and a crudité/raw vegetable platter with grapes, strawberries and apples. Add some party dips such as roasted red pepper and artichoke blue cheese, and you’ll have a simple, healthy menu. Your pup’s party at your favorite winery will be fabulous, particularly if you follow Posh’s wine rules: Pour. Sit. Stay. Sip. Cheers!
7. Keep the menu easy and fun. Posh created a “baguette bar” for one of his vineyard SHE! SUMMER 2017
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Cool Summer Cocktails
SHE! CELEBRATES | Her Blessings. Her Best Friends. Herself.
Refreshing, colorful cocktails are a big part of what makes summer so much fun and, while you might already have a warm weather favorite, we thought you’d enjoy these SHE! team top picks. Cheers!
Hannah’s Watermelon Cooler
Heather’s Bullfrog
Dump one container of frozen lemonade into a blender. Fill the empty lemonade container with vodka and empty it into the blender. Then, fill the empty container with peach schnapps and a touch of cranberry juice. Dump that into the blender and mix. Yum. Suggested by SHE! advertising consultant Heather Sutphin.
Blend frozen water melon chunks with mineral water and add vodka to taste. Relatively healthy and refreshing! Suggested by SHE! contributor Hannah Dellinger.
Sylvia’s Pearson Special
DeAnna’s Spicy Margarita
So good and simple to make. Mix 2 ounces of Partida Reposado with a half-ounce of agave nectar and a half-ounce of lime juice. If you need to water it down, add Bai Bubbles (grapefruit or blood orange sparkling antioxidant infused beverages). For spice, add muddled jalapenos. Suggested by SHE! contributor DeAnna D’Atillio.
My favorite summer drink is a Pearson Special, lovingly prepared by my friend, the late Flash Pearson of Pearson Auctions. I went to visit with him and his bride of 50+ years, Bernice. It was after 4pm and they looked at me funny when I turned them down for a cocktail. So, I changed my tune and said yes, I would be happy to have one! It’s vodka, cranberry juice and a splash of Fresca. Delicious. Suggested by SHE! advertising consultant Sylvia McDevitt.
Liliana’s Bloody Beer Cocktail
I love this because it’s a nice change from sweet summer cocktails. Plus if booze is off-limits, just swap in a non-alcoholic brew and you’re good to go. Rub rims of 8 pint glasses with a lime wedge; dip in chili salt and fill with ice. Add a quarter cup of tomato juice, 1 tablespoon of lime juice, a dash each of hot sauce and Worcestershire sauce, and 12 ounces of lager to each glass; garnish with lime wedges, Spicy Pickled Green Beans and Fennel. Suggested by SHE! advertising consultant Liliana Ruiz.
Sandra’s Bitter Sweet
Fill a wine glass half full with crushed ice, cover with white wine, add a dash of seltzer water and Aperol, then toss in a few slices of lime skin. Mix and kick back. Suggested by SHE! contributor Sandra Packwood.
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SHE!SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017 SHE!
SHE! CELEBRATES | Her Blessings. Her Best Friends. Herself. Stella’s Grape Go-to
My favorite summer drink has a very special name. It’s called wine. A chilled, dry Riesling or Prosecco is perfect and easy to make: 1. Open the bottle. 2 Pour. 3. Add chunks of fresh cut oranges and strawberries and let them marinate. 4. Drink the wine. 5. Eat the fruit. Fantastic. Suggested by SHE! contributor Stella Verduccia.
Maddi’s Sunny Day Margarita
Slice two apples and two oranges; toss into a pitcher. Pour a half a cup of brandy over the fruit. Add a quarter cup of orange liqueur to the mix. Uncork a bottle of red wine and pour that puppy into the pitcher, too. Stir and place in the fridge overnight. To serve: pour a glass, top off with sparkling water and a piece of fruit or two. Then, apply sunscreen, toss a blanket out on the grass, grab your issue of SHE! and enjoy. Suggested by SHE! contributor Maddison Hicks.
Andria’s Straight-up Summer Fave
If there’s no red wine or champagne, my go to drink is a vodka martini, straight up, with a twist of lemon. Chopin or Belvedere vodka only, of course. Suggested by SHE! contributor Andria Corso.
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The One Tough Muther Show coming in August. Visit onetoughmuther.com for dates and time.
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SHE! CELEBRATES | Her Blessings. Her Best Friends. Herself.
She shoots, she scores
confidence, friendship, and fun
In the spirit of forming a team the ladies decided they needed a name and soon adopted Annie Oakley may have been G.R.I.T.S. “Everywhere we went,” reonto something… called Elizabeth, “folks saw how Typically when you think much fun we were having and of guns, the image of a woman isn’t the first thing that springs they all wanted to know how they could be G.R.I.T.S.” to mind. Linda J. Cowasjee of “It’s a fun sport,” explained Delaplane joined the club Brandy Greenwell, who because of the enjoyment she hails from Middleburg, “why feels when shooting, but also in shouldn’t women have fun order to learn and master the shooting?” skills and techniques necessary Brandy is a member of for more accuracy. She recalled G.R.I.T.S. Piedmont Chapter. the first time she’d ever shot a G.R.I.T.S. (which stands for Girls Really Into Shooting) was gun. “My husband and I were started in 2007 by Elizabeth staying at The Homestead and Lanier-Fennell in Providence decided to try the sporting clays Forge, Virginia, with a small course. I did terribly but we had group of friends who simply wanted to get together to shoot. a wonderful time! I made him take me there again the next day Later, a nonprofit organization and although I still missed far was formed around the mission of teaching women how to more clays than I hit, I thought it was an incredibly fun sport.” use guns properly and to enjoy shooting sports in a supportive, One of the most positive aspects of belonging to G.R.I.T.S. noncompetitive environment. is the support and comradery Originally Elizabeth gaththat exists between the memered a few female friends who also liked to shoot and travelled bers. “Many of the better shooters around visiting shooting clubs help and mentor the new shootand participating in events. ers,” explained Elizabeth. “We By Jennifer E. Goldman Photos by Latisha Brooks Photography
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all have to start somewhere and one of the two basic rules of the G.R.I.T.S. is no scorekeeping; this removes the intimidation of not being good enough to come join us.” “We are all so supportive of one another and get such a thrill whether it’s watching someone break their first target or an accomplished shooter making a difficult shot,” added Linda. “Some of the greatest benefits are the friendships made, the smiles, cheers and support from fellow G.R.I.T.S. girls with or without clay targets present, and like being involved with
SHE! SUMMER 2017
SHE! CELEBRATES | Her Blessings. Her Best Friends. Herself. any sport, personal growth and improvement,” said Brandy. In fact, personal growth is something all three ladies mentioned while talking about their club. Through teaching each other the proper way to handle a gun and improve their skills, gathering and traveling
to shooting events together, and supporting and cheering each other on, this club of gun-toting ladies has found a unique way to show love and support for one another while fostering an environment where confidence and expertise continue to rise. Linda said it best when she
commented, “Shooting provides a great opportunity for women to heighten their sense of self, build their confidence, develop their physical and mental abilities and have a lot of fun doing it.”
SHE! SUMMER SUMMER 2017 2017 SHE!
The Piedmont chapter of G.R.I.T.S. meets monthly for shooting events during most of the year, and “aim” for weekly during the summer months. For more information, visit gritsgobang.org
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SHE! CELEBRATES | Her Blessings. Her Best Friends. Herself.
Who's That Girl?
Meet Rachel Speakes, the 16 year-old blogger, budding author, and brains behind YABBA Fest RS: Yes. The panels help a lot. They’re for the people who like to write and want to learn from the authors. K: What’s your process of writing a book? RS: Originally I started just writing, and I got stuck almost thirty pages in, so I went back and plotted the whole story using a notebook. I did the scenes and characters, and I restarted. The plotting and outlining took about twelve hours, but it’s been working much better.
Rachel with author Lindsay Smith. By Katie Yeager
helping out, we should include bands to get music involved.
Katie (K): How did you get interested in book festivals? Rachel Speakes (RS): I went to one in Chicago and one in Charleston, and I thought that it would be cool to have one here in Warrenton. I had a friend at my church who was willing to help out with the idea, so we went for it.
K: What authors are featured at YABBA Fest? RS: We mostly feature Young Adult authors, but this year we’ll also include adult and children’s authors. We noticed that teenagers who attended the festival with their parents last year didn’t have much to do, so we’re opening it up.
K: So you’re passionate about reading. RS: Yes.
K: How is YABBA Fest structured? RS: Authors are set up in shops and businesses along Main Street so they can meet readers and autograph copies of their books. There are also panels during which the authors talk about how they wrote their books followed by a question and answer session. It’s great getting to learn from them. Oh, and we also have a big signing room for them to use after they’re done at whatever shop they were in.
K: When did that start? RS: Very early, first or second grade. My parents used to read to me. My mom would read to me one night, and my dad would do it the next. I’m still passionate about reading today and have a blog called read-queen. com where I review books. K: How did you come up with the name YABBA Fest? RS: It stands for Young Adult Books, Bands, and Authors. My partners at Allegro suggested that if they were going to be
K: What activities happen around Old Town during YABBA Fest?
RS: The festival takes place during normal business hours but we have bands playing and this year we plan to have food trucks on hand, too. K: Which authors are you expecting at the next YABBA Fest? RS: Jodi Meadows came last year and she wants to come back. Lindsay Smith is coming, too. And Adam Drees who lives in Canada, so we fly him in for this. K: How does YABBA Fest influence people to read? RS: I know that when I went to festivals it was a lot of fun. When you’re standing in line to see the authors, you can talk to the people around you even if you don’t know them. Hopefully YABBA Fest is influencing people to have a sort of reading community, and hopefully it’s changing the thinking among teenagers that reading is just for school. K: Do you think it influences aspiring writers?
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K: What does the future look like for YABBA Fest? RS: We have five years to see how it grows, and in those five years if the festival becomes a big event then we’ll continue it. If not, we’ll stop. In the future I’d be interested in planning more book festivals. K: What advice would you give to someone who wants to start a festival? RS: To just do it. A lot of the time I thought it was impossible, especially since I’m a teenager. But if you have motivated people who want to do it, then everybody pulls together to get things done. I spent pretty much the whole summer organizing YABBA Fest. It was a lot of work but it was worth it.
Greeting keynote speaker Adam Dreece at the airport. For information on the October 2017 YABBA Fest, visit allegrocsa.org and click on Events. 45
SHE!
DID YOU KNOW..... Women account for 85% of all consumer purchases including everything from autos to health care. Women control over $20 Trillion in world-wide spending. Women make more than 80% of all consumer purchasing decisions.
Advertise in the Fall/Winter issue of SHE! Publication Date: November 1 Advertising Close: October 4
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Introducing Our newest editions to the SHE family,
SHE Gets Married and SHE Means Business ReseRvation Date: Sept. 6 Publication Date: Sept. 22
Coming this Fall
Piedmont Media
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THE GIRLFRIENDS’ GUIDE TO ONLINE DATING:
What’s your line?
By Adivah Israel
I always find it amusing the way men approach me on dating web sites. Some are outrageously clever, some insanely funny, some can’t string a sentence together, and others are wildly inappropriate. Here are my top five Wow! He really said that? opening remarks from men on dating sites. 1. One Word – Are you too busy to say more than “Hi” “Hey” or “Hello,” or am I just not worth more effort? Only slightly better, but still won’t elicit a response from me, are the two-worders: “Hey sexy,” “S’up momma?” “Hello gorgeous!” and my favorite, “Hot damn!” 2. Marriage Proposals – Typically these come from 20-some-
things who really don’t expect a response, they’re just trying to get noticed and be cute. My favorite was from a 24-year old in North Carolina who wrote, “Please pleaseeeee PLEASEEE will you marrrrryyyy meeeeeeee?!?!!” How could I not reply? Me: “No need to beg darling, just show me the ring.” My betrothed: “Haha just put it in my pocket haha walking out the door right now! Where should we meet hah?!” Me: “Somewhere between the moon and New York City.” Sometimes you just have to play along. It was a slow night and I don’t watch much TV (sigh). 3. Bad English – I give leeway to men who don’t have perfect grammar when it’s clear by reading their profile that English is not their first language.
However, to all the hot-blooded American/natural English speaking men please, proofread before you hit send. And for the love of God, it’s you’re when you are contracting you are, and please know the difference between to, too and two. Or else I’m going to bid you “Good buy!” 4. The Absurd – Admittedly, there are some truly clever men with wicked senses of humor. While I always appreciate that, how do you respond to “I would swim the Amazon River with 45lb dumbbells tied to my scrotum and Rosie O’Donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to have the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam with a dialup connection”? And then there are the ones who start by diving right off the deep end of absurd, into creepy, with notes like, “Hi
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beautiful. I’m X in Front Royal. Can you come over so I can suck your toes?” (I kid you not. You can’t make this stuff up.) 5. The Right Stuff – And once in a blue moon, you get a message so clever, so witty, so…you. This was my favorite introduction of all time: “You never call, you never write, the rent is due, and the kids are worried sick!” Don’t ask me why, but these are the types of messages that restore my faith in man, in humanity, in on-line dating. These are the types of messages that I know how to, and want to, respond to. And so I did, with, “How did you track me down? Mommy just needed a break! And aren’t you supposed to be the breadwinner? Oy vey!”
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Women Giving Back By Danica Low Photos by Latisha Brooks Photography
Joy Wrapped in Clothing
In Sterling, Virginia, 35 miles northeast of Warrenton, sits an 11,000 square foot warehouse full of women’s clothing – and hope. Inside, volunteers bustle to sort and hang thousands of garments and accessories on display for shoppers. This is not your average thrift store. Shoppers come from all socioeconomic classes and demographics. They come referred and qualified by case workers. They are all female, and men are not permitted inside the store. Children’s clothing boasts a large selection. Shoppers are seen by appointment, and on some Saturdays. All items have been donated and are free to shoppers, who may select up to 50 items. This store is the heart of the non-profit Women Giving Back (WGB). Since 2007, business women Fiona Hughes and Terri Stagi have operated this organization to help women in trouble. This includes women in crisis who have escaped domestic violence, sex trafficking, homelessness, or who are part of transitional housing programs.
Driving Forces
Ms. Stagi is President of The Stagi Group, a Northern Virginia based advertising firm, and Ms. Hughes is Director of Client Solutions for Red Thinking, a brand strategy company. The professional marketers met while working together in the building industry ten years ago and started the 501c3 known as WGB after being tasked with forming a volunteer group. They did not anticipate its growth. Ms. Hughes says, “We strive to help (women) achieve a sense of well-being and help them feel good about themselves. We can see it on their faces. They come in to the store shy at first, and end up walking out with their head held high.” Ms. Stagi adds, “We make a Fiona Hughes and Terri Stagi, founders of Women Giving Back. 48
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difference every day. We see limited in clothing selection. the difference. We work one on WGB had clothes that fit me. one with the women coming They made me feel beautiful from shelters. These women, again.” they walk out different. We give Good Samaritans them hope.” Ms. Stagi says, “Starting a WGB includes a team of 18 non-profit or volunteering is board members, one paid staff one of the most empowering person, and a database of 5,000 things you will do. The biggest volunteers, including an active challenge was figuring out how and dedicated mother/daughter to fund WGB. Passion has to be service team at the base of from the Naeverything.” “We make a tional Charity Ms. Hughes League. difference every adds, “Sometimes the best day. We see the ideas are the Changing Lives difference. We simple ones. One womDon’t wait for work one on one someone else to an positively impacted by with the women do it. Start small WGB (whose and follow your coming from identity has heart!” been protected) shelters. These For more shares her feelinformation, women, they walk ings about the including non-profit. “It days out different. We donation broke my heart and times, visit give them hope.” womengivingnot being able to buy clothing back.org. For for my kids information on while we were homeless. To partnering with WGB, contact be able to go to WGB and find nicole@womengivingback.org. things for them was priceless.” Another woman shared, “Be- Women Giving Back, 20 Export ing plus sized, you are already Drive, Sterling, 703-554-9386.
SHE! Gives Back Join the SHE! team at Women Giving Back (20 Export Drive, Sterling) on Wednesday, September 6th from 10am-1pm.
Bring the women’s and children’s clothing and accessories you don’t need to those who do. First 10 readers to arrive will receive a SHE! coffee mug and tee shirt!
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Just a few of the partners WGB serves: Ayuda Bethany House Britepaths Christian Relief Services Coordinated Services Planning Cornerstones Embry Rucker Shelter Empowered Women International Fairfax County DHCD Progress Center Fairfax County Public Schools 50
Fauquier Family Shelter Services Friends of Guest House Goodwill DC – RISE Coaching Program Homestretch Hunters Woods Fellowship House Inmed Partnership for Children Loudoun Homeless Shelter - VOA Loudoun County Public Schools
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Northern Virginia Family Services Prince William County Community Services Board Shelter House - Domestic Violence Supportive Housing VA Medical Center Department of Veterans Affairs Western Fairfax Christian Ministries
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Starr Ibach - 703-786-3229 Mary Ann Dubell - 540-212-1100 Edie Grassi - 540-878-1308 Mary Susan McGrath - -703-517-1409 8078 Crescent Park Dr. #205. Gainesville, VAAnne - 703-753-7910 85 Garrett Street, Warrenton, VA 540-349-1221 Dispanet - l540-219-1196 Ethel Goff - 540-272-4074 Tammy Roop - 540-270-9409 Melinda Livingston - 703-472-1400 Gloria Desautels - 571-356-2484 Vanessa Sfreddo - 540-270-7949
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