Words / ZAK ORMUT-FLEISHMAN, Illustrations / ZAGNY DURBIN
PRESIDENTIAL SECRETARIES REGGIE LOVE
ANGELA KELLY LI ZHANSHU UNITED KINGDOM Personal Assistant
CHINA Director of the General Office
RAY NOVAK
The campaign trail is as dynamic as a battlefield. Just off-bus are picket lines, supporters, and pundits hollering, stump speeches given impromptu (and prepared for accordingly), and TV cameras recording it all. For the president to navigate it with grace and poise, the role of ‘body man’ was created. Carrying a bag holding everything from Tide-to-Go and dental floss to water bottles and security memos, the body man is always by the president’s side. During his time as body man, ‘iReggie,’ as the president called him, was a paragon in his field: friend, confidant, and the man often deciding who could occupy the president’s time. Usually found just off-camera, Mr. Love wore dark-striped suits, primary colour ties, and squash-court sunglasses—always accessorized by a large black bag.
Let’s face it, the Queen at eightysix, looks healthier, speaks more eloquently, and dresses more elegantly than Posh Spice ever could. It could be said however, that one ray of radiance is not her own, one so tied to her current regime of chic that to lose it would mean a different, less glamorous, queen. Without Angela Kelly, the Queen’s personal assistant and dresser, there would be no memorable pink Chanel suits, no proper hats, no glorious pearls. As personal assistant, Kelly is also responsible for the Queen’s correspondence and mail, as well as maintaining her daily routine, but it is undoubtedly for Kelly’s style that she was chosen. When dressing herself, Kelly wears regal attire in comfortable cuts, with a heel for good measure.
When the son of the former deputy secretary was found dead in his totalled Ferrari Spider, with two women still alive, all of them naked, no questions were asked. The secretary was fired, internet searches blocked, and Li Zhanshu was hired in his place. As the director of the general office, Li is at the top of the branch of Chinese government responsible for organizing government affairs. Privy to the most sensitive information, discreet directors have in the past moved to the highest ranks of government officialdom. In stark contrast to his predecessor, Li wears a businessman’s suit, slightly too big and shapeless, and does what is expected of him.
Here at home, politics lack the drama of constant elections, the austerity of communism, or the desperation caused by dictatorship. Instead, we have Stephen Harper. He likes hockey, dislikes the Kyoto Agreement, and stirs national identity around targeted commercials. For a man so focused on informational hegemony, Ray Novak was perfectly trained. Described by Harper as “a beacon of strength,” Novak is said to act discreetly and efficiently dealing with Harper’s everyday needs and political ones. If Harper needs something important from you, Ray Novak will be the one at your door. Wearing a blue-black powersuit, aggressively textured tie, and permanently windswept hair, Novak wears the uniform of the Canadian spy, nondescript with a flourish.
PERKS OF THE JOB: As part of
PERKS OF THE JOB: Kelly enjoys tea
PERKS OF THE JOB: Li has more
Obama’s election ritual, Love gets to play the first game of basketball with the leader of the free world.
with the Queen, privately.
power than the rest of the list combined and doubled.
PERKS OF THE JOB: Along with the prime minister, Novak calls 24 Sussex Drive his home.
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Personal Assistant (Body Man)
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CANADA Principal Secretary