Your Magazine Volume 16 Issue 2: November 2021

YOUR MAG

VOLUME 16 | ISSUE 2 | NOVEMBER 2021

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YOUR MAG is Emerson College’s

monthly lifestyle magazine, established in the fall of 2011. Our organization gives students the opportunity to create written and visual content that is relevant and interesting to the Emerson community. It is a cooperative environment for students in the print media industry. In every issue, Your Magazine offers readers fresh perspective from romance to representation.

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YOUR MAG VOLUME 16 | FALL 2021

TALIA SMITH Managing Editor

AMANDA HAMPTON Editor-in-Chief

ELOISA DE FARIAS Co-Creative Director

MARIANNA REYES Romance Editor

MARIANNA REYES Co-Head Designer

LAUREN DILLOW Co-Creative Director

ABIGAIL ROSS Asst. Romance Editor

GABRIELA PORTUGAL Co-Head Designer

JULIA SMITH Asst. Creative Director

ALEXIS GARCIA-RUIZ A&E Editor

HAILEY KROLL Asst. Head Designer

T I M A S WA R AY Asst. Creative Director

KATHLEEN NOLAN Asst. A&E Editor

ALEA ADRIAN Asst. Head Designer

JULIA SMITH Style Director

MARYCATHERINE NEAL Living Editor

ISA LUZARRAGA Asst. Head Designer

A M YA D I G G S Asst. Style Director

ASHLEY FERRER Asst. Living Editor

NIKKI EMMA Asst. YMTV Director

KATIE POWERS Head Proofreader

OLIVIA CIGLIANO Style Editor

NEEKA BOROUMANDI Marketing Coordinator

NENA HALL Asst. Head Proofreader

TIFFANY CARBON Web Director

DELANEY BAILEY Co-Social Media Coordinator

NATASHA ARNOWITZ Art Director

LAUREN SURBEY Asst. Web Director

JULIA MALLON Co-Social Media Coordinator

REB CZUKOSKI Asst. Art Director

JESS FERGUSON Copy Chief

CHARLIZE TUNGOL Asst. Social Media Coordinator

ELIE LARGURA Photo Director

SYDNEY ROWLEY Asst. Social Media Coordinator

COPY EDITORS: CHARLOTTE DRUMMOND, TOM GARBACK, KATHERINE HEALY, MADELYN MULREANEY, SARAH PERRY,

NATALIE RODRIGUEZ DESIGN: MAGGIE CAVANAUGH, ASHLEY FERRER, MADELYN MULREANEY, FIONA MURPHY, CHLOE WILLIAMS PROOFREADERS: MARYCATHERINE NEAL, MADELYN MULREANEY, CHARLOTTE DRUMMOND, KATHERINE HEALY, BECCA LETTS FIONA MURPHY, KAITLYN FEHR, CHRISTINA HORACIO, CAMILA ARJONA, VIVIAN NGUYEN, HELLEN ZHENG, NATALIE RODRIGUEZ

contents ROMANCE 4 6 8 EDITORIAL 10 STYLE 20 22 24 26 EDITORIAL 30 LIVING 40 42 44 46 EDITORIAL 48 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 58 60 62 64 66 YOUR THINGS 68 70 Y.MP3 72 YM ADVISES 74 ARTIST STATEMENT 76

COLLEGE CURED MY COMMITMENT PHOBIA SOFT LAUNCH SEASON sibling pressure royals new trend on prowl: animal prints ugg! it’s almost winter where’ d ya get that? street style reflections your anxiety is lying to you society sabotaged my Spanish bodily preservation LESBIAN IDENTITIES UNDER THE PATRIARCHY MUSE I AM Melancholic Ballads to upbeat pop freeform’s freefall hell is a teenage girl Bessie smith katie powers tiffany carbon gabriela portugal favorite winter accessories masterpieces ella fields

YMEMERSON.COM | INSTAGRAM: @YOUR.MAG

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EDITOR’S letter

I’m a huge advocate for maximalism. My walls are covered with dusty artwork I found buried in my basement, old Polaroids of my parents in terrible sweaters, and tiny spoons. I keep my shelves cluttered with candlesticks, crystals, and old perfume bottles, and I don’t feel at home in a new place until I’ve moved in my ever-growing unread library.

I love entering someone’s room and seeing the inside of their brain mapped out across their space—places they’ve visited, their heritage, and the objects that they’ve chosen to display and keep with them. This centering of vibrance, pleasure, and instinct is a joyful rejection of the sterile white walls and bare marble countertops of Instagram tastemakers, of the mostly-empty rooms of the very wealthy.

To me, maximalism is about giving ourselves permission to take up space. It’s about being more daring and more expressive of our individuality, embracing abundance and beauty instead of isolating ourselves in a lifeless space.

This November at Your Mag, we’re embracing maximalism in all aspects of our lives, from our style choices to our identities to our emotions. Our writers are

paying homage to the gaudy, hyper-feminine teen horrorcomedy, dissecting the social media soft launch, and embracing animal prints and Uggs.

They’re celebrating their individuality in spaces that seek to suppress it, whether they’re a Spanish speaker growing up in white suburbia or a lesbian living in a patriarchal society. They’re getting through anxietyriddled days by allowing themselves to feel everything, and learning to open themselves up to intimacy.

As you read through this issue, I would encourage you to take a cue from our staff’s aesthetic of excess. Buy the extra plant, grab that weird piece of art you find on the side of the road, and above all, let yourself feel and want as much as possible. Embrace chaos; do the thing you know you want to do. We at Your Mag are rooting for you.

Much love, Amanda

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WRITTEN BY BROOKE HARRISON

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ART BY MADELYN MULREANEY

College Cured my COMMITMENT PHOBIA T

hroughout high school, I never wanted a relationship. I thought they were a means to an end of distracting and entertaining oneself because I never saw any of them lasting or providing anything substantial to the people in them. This was most likely because my small town in Florida didn’t exactly offer great options for dating, especially as one of the few openly bisexual people in my town.

I saw my friends date the most mundane or insane people. They would give their all to their partners and lose themselves in the process. Not only did this disturb and disgust me, it scared the sh*t out of me.

Because I had never truly seen a functioning, healthy, mutualistic relationship that wasn’t fiction made me wonder how people would ever want or need to be in a couple.

I also realized that even though I was never looking for a partner, I was insanely picky.

There wasn’t a set checklist in my head that a person had to meet per se, but no one ever seemed worth the time and energy of a relationship to me.

This might be because I’ve always had the tendency to get very bored with people when it comes to sexual and romantic situationships. So, I was used to my hookups having a shelf life of about one to two weeks.

That, mixed with my intense trust and commitment issues due to childhood bullying, daddy issues, and Gemini Venus placement meant I made my peace with the fact that I wasn’t really a “relationship per-

son” a long time ago. But ever since I came to Emerson, I felt myself craving more than just a sexual, no-strings-attached connection. I craved intimacy.

My sudden craving and the thoughts swirling in my head about what a relationship would look like with me in it shocked me completely. I couldn’t tell you if it was the amount of openly queer people on campus or finally escaping boring suburbia in Florida that showed me what else was out there, but I was intrigued.

With so many options and possible adventures available in a place like Boston, it wasn’t hard for me to contemplate that this could very well be me romanticizing the idea of falling in love in the city, but I think it’s more than that.

Moving away to a city where no one knew me and to a school where I was a stranger granted me the ability to reinvent who I was and what I actually wanted for myself.

I wanted to take my new persona out for a test drive, so I met with a couple of people I matched with on Tinder, and the same pattern of getting bored after a short period of time continued. The main difference was that it wasn’t stupid icks that made me ghost people this time, it was the lack of a real connection that made me distance myself.

I know I want to connect with someone emotionally, physically, and intellectually to get the kind of intimacy I now find myself manifesting. YM

“EVER SINCE I CAME TO EMERSON, I FELT MYSELF CRAVING MORE THAN JUST A SEXUAL, NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED CONNECTION. I CRAVED INTIMACY.”

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Soft Launch Season WRITTEN BY OLIVIA CIGLIANO

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY TALIA SMITH

T

he air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and cuffing season is ing a green juice). I honestly couldn’t care less. Sure, it’s relieving to right around the corner, which means one thing: It’s soft launch know that someone wants to show off that they’re with me, but you season. wouldn’t know they’re with me. The soft launch sometimes feels like

What’s a soft launch? The term was popularized following a vehicle of ego rather than affection, like a brag that you’re seeing the “quarantine romances” that began that summer. Rachel Sennott someone new, perhaps pointed to old flames who loiter in your story tweeted in July 2020: “congrats on the instagram soft launch of ur views. “I was looking through the views to see if my ex saw the post (he boyfriend (pic on story, elbow and side profile only).” Soft launches had both of us on Snapchat),” O’Connor says. “It’s totally an attention usually happen in the early stages of a relationship, where you want thing but nothing that’s invalid.” to share that you’re effectively taken, but it’s not serious enough to tag I’d prefer someone who’s proud to be with me, shows my face, and the person or even show their face. It’s a tease to your followers: Who tags my profile. But if we’re in the beginning stages of dating, I’m just does that second dinner plate belong to? Is that the tip of a girl’s heel as—if not more—hesitant as they are to make it IG official. “I wasn’t in the corner? The relationship becomes public, but the other person’s totally into him,” O’Connor says. “He was my first boyfriend, and I identity is not. As I notice mystery knees or unidentified silhouettes was into the idea of the relationship rather than him, I think. That’s on my feed, it seems like the season to vaguely probably why I wasn’t anxious to publicize our debut bae is here again. relationship.”

“The relationship These posts appear in a variety of forms, as She adds, “It definitely made me feel mysunique as the couples attached to them. Some becomes public, but the terious. I kept going back to his Snapchat stoare spontaneous snaps of dates, while others are other person’s identity ry afterward and smirking to myself knowing planned between the parties. “It’s funny analyz- is not. As I notice mystery our friends were putting two and two together. ing this; it sounds so silly and juvenile. This was I wasn’t looking for him to post me right away knees or unidentified the summer of 2020, so not long ago,” journalthough, that would have felt inauthentic, like silhouettes on my feed, ism student Brynn O’Connor ‘23 says. “Both me ‘look, I have a boyfriend now!’” it seems like the season and my boyfriend at the time were at the beach.

Instagram pages serve as our public perto vaguely debut bae is We wanted to post about our relationship but sonas these days, regrettably, and sometimes here again.” not just yet, so instead, we both took a picture committing to a “hard launch” or “BF reveal” of the same thing (it was a photo of the shore on the grid is as real as committing to the person at sunset) and posted it at the same time. This romantically. There are social consequences too, ‘indicated’ we were hanging out but not outright saying it.” once the cat (or their paw) is out of the bag.

I have never soft launched, besides my own dinner plate or scenes

“Everyone will be looking for updates. If you stop posting from a museum date, but you wouldn’t be able to tell. In fact, I have with them, they’ll know you broke up,” O’Connor says. “It makes never posted a man outside of my prom date, and I subscribe to the heartbreak so much worse; you can’t just move on. There’s a process Dolly Parton strategy—keeping your husband a secret for 50 years. of cleaning your social media from this person no longer in your life.”

It’s not necessarily out of embarrassment for my significant other, but Photography student Letao Chen ‘22 is even weary of posting a rather my own hesitation to go public with something that’s not fully picture with a guy friend, in case it’s assumed to be a soft launch. “I’m developed. That said, I’ve never been in a long-term relationship that’s conscious that it can be a cockblock or turn off potential love interests, strong enough to introduce to everyone, so maybe I’ll consider it after so I don’t do it often,” she says. “I feel like I’m close to people I don’t one solid year. post, and I feel bad because I want my internet identity to reflect my However, I have been soft-launched, or rather my hand has (holdreal friendships.” YM

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sibling pressure (The m-word)

WRITTEN BY MARYCATHERINE NEAL

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’ll never forget the first time I saw my very first boyfriend, “A.” We were in junior history class. Although he was new to the school and I did not know anything about him, the first thought that entered my mind was, “I’m going to marry that guy.” Shocking, I know. What can I say? I love love. About six months later, we started dating—an accomplishment I did not think would happen with my awful form of flirting, which consisted of admiring him from afar for most of those six months.

After a string of bad apples, I had somehow managed to find someone who cared deeply for me. I couldn’t help but wonder if this guy really was the right one.

In 2019, my brother and sister both got married to their long-term partners. Naturally, I was part of these weddings, and so was A. At this point in time, we’d been dating for about two years, and we often talked about our future together. The M-word came up often. When he told me that he eventually wanted to marry me, I couldn’t have been more thrilled. In fact, on the night of my brother’s wedding, after I’d just caught the bouquet, I remember telling my sister I couldn’t wait to get married soon. She looked at me like I was crazy, but I just shrugged it off. I wanted to be married like her, damnit! After attending two weddings full of love and excitement, I couldn’t stop imagining myself in a flowing white gown next to A at the altar. I just knew he was the one, and within a few years, I’d be married just like my siblings.

Well, he wasn’t the one. And, newsflash, I’m as single as ever. No ring on this finger. A and I eventually broke up, and I attempted to move on. I told myself I was not going to get into anything serious too fast, but of course I found myself in another long-term relationship with “T.” Although I told myself I was going to take things slow and live more in the present, I constantly found myself thinking about marriage again. It’s not like T was against marriage, but oftentimes when I brought it up, he clammed up like he had never thought about this idea before. It hurt that he hadn’t dreamed about our future like I had, but I tried to understand. Some people see fear when they daydream. The future is unknown and scary. I happen to find a lot of comfort in it. To me, the future is a way to escape and cope with life. T and I eventually broke up as well, but we still talk all the time. He’s my best friend, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish he was the one—that’s a whole different story. But after we recently ended things off, I started to examine the way I viewed relationships.

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ART BY KATE RISPOLI

To me, a relationship was supposed to end in marriage. I think this thought process comes from two of my siblings finding their partners very young, marrying, and settling down all before the age of 25. (Big shoutout to my oldest brother Michael for not following this same path.

You and Suzie are giving me hope.) You spend time with someone that you see a future with. Why else would you commit to each other? I’m creeping up on 22 and am nowhere close to finding someone. And that’s okay. In fact, I’m trying really hard not to pursue a relationship with any sort of goal in mind except peace.

I’ve been under too much pressure on my search for companionship to lock down a man and get a ring. I believe my relationships have failed due to this pressure I put on myself and my partner. I even had a conversation with my sister about it this summer in which I sobbed in a coffee shop and told her how I was tired of feeling like I had to stick to a similar path as my siblings. Because I don’t, and I haven’t. Love looks different for everyone, and that means the journey to find it looks different for everyone, despite the patterns in my family.

And, in all seriousness, I am not ready. I graduate in a month and don’t have a job lined up. I don’t even fully understand what it means to be independent. I can’t even answer the door when I’m home alone, let alone know how to be a good lifelong partner for someone. I’m not sure how I was so confident only three years ago that I was ready to get married.

Moving forward, I am going to focus on personal happiness in the present instead of future happiness with someone else. If I find someone that I can be with that makes me happy and wants to be with me, sure, let’s give it a shot. I’ll just create a new dating narrative. Instead of wondering, “Will he pop the question if…” I think I will start wondering, “Will I be happy if....” After all, I have to be happy with who I’m with for that to even lead to a lifelong partnership. Just the thought of being with someone for life is so meaningful for me. After seeing my brothers and sister find the loves of their lives, I am confident I will find my person one day. It will just take some time and less personal pestering about the M-word. I’m excited to see how this new philosophy will enhance relationships with others, but also with myself.

Constantly stressing about meeting people’s expectations is no way to live. From now on, I’m focused on my personal goals, starting with my career, family, and happiness.YM

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ROYALS Photographed and directed by Sabrina Arruda Modeled by Fatima Swaray and Jonah Hodari Makeup by Molly Howard Styled by Lauren Dillow and Julia Smith

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New

Trend On Prowl:

THE

ANIMAL PRINTS L

ike a snake, like a leopard, animal print is slithering its way into our upcoming fall wardrobes. Over the Fall/Winter 2021 fash ion week, animal print was spotted on the runways of Celine, Dior, Lanvin, Michael Kors, Max Mara, and more. The galloping zebra stripes and the prancing tiger print turned this season’s catwalk into a zoo. Yes, thanks partly to Gen-Z’s recent obsession with and the resurgence of ‘90s fashion, the eccentric animal prints are back again in full force this fall. But to embrace this on-trend animal print, you don’t have to dress in a full leopard print coat from those big brands like Bottega Veneta. You can equally rock the look with a spot-on statement accessory.

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Like a Leopard The sleekest of all the safari-load animal prints, the spotted leopard print allows you to prowl the street like you own it. Among all kinds of wardrobe choices, fuzzy leopard bucket hats are on the current rise as we see them being worn by fashion icon celebs like Bella Hadid and Dua Lipa, as well as from brands like Urban Outfitters and UNIF. A cool girl’s alternative to the basic beanies, the fuzzy, leopard-spotted hats give off a chic, confident look this winter.

The leopard allure, which evokes a bit of a raunchy, wild vibe, can be seen as far back as “the post-war 1920s to Dynasty and Debbie Harry’s 1980s—a cycle of glamour, trashiness, transgression, and back,”

WRITTEN BY MARY WANG The Guardian reports. As burlesque expert Jo Weldon explains in her book Fierce: The History of Leopard Print, there is an all-time desire for this fierce pattern because it allows us to express ourselves freely and make us stand out. While these distinctive patterns serve as a camouflage for animals in nature, humans don them to be noticed. By wearing this playful, fierce, sexy, vibrant pattern, we demand an audience as we flaunt the leopard spots on the stage, the catwalk, and the streets.

Adding a touch of a wild side to our everyday apparel, the leopard pattern gives us the excitement and thrill of the “good girl gone wild” vibe, much like the confidence of female power that we see in The Cheetah Girls’ leopard band clothes, slumber party robes, and their leopard tracksuits.

Zebra Rising Though zebra prints can look a bit monochrome in color with full black and white, wearing the pattern as an accessory can surely make your look more playful and fun. Unlike other chaotic animal prints, the classic, jagged black and white print is more easily incorporated in one’s style. The graphic has already won the likes of supermodel Kendall Jenner, as she sparkled on the street with big and bold zebra-striped pants paired with a plain black puffer coat and bulky white sneakers in 2019. In fact, carrying it as a handbag under your arm and keeping the rest of your look uncomplicated is also enough to give you a ‘90s vibe. Zebra stripes were also seen during the 2021 fashion week, with slouchy boots, long coats, and satin dresses. During the Fall/Winter 2021 collection runway, the print also made a few winning cameos, like a zebra-print coat at Stand Studio and in shearling at Michael Kors.

Cow-mouflage The trend for animal print also seems to be moo-ing from the west. The western-inspired cow-print pants are roaming the high

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIANNA REYES street, featured either in brown or black spots. Earlier this year, we saw Ariana Grande giving off yeehaw energy in her minimalist style, with a taupe tube top and high-waisted cow-print jeans. It’s the naturalistic color that allows you to pair with almost any other piece, from neons to subdued neutrals. Whether pairing it with a black oversized puffer, a breezy blouse, or a vinyl jacket, you can walk on the wild side with a cow pattern emblazoning your outfit. Cow prints were also heavily used in Anna Sui’s Fall/Winter 2021 collection. The collection brought together the designer’s whimsical, fantasy-filled design of floral, check, and stripe patterns with the rather monotonous black and white cow print. The clash of the two opposite types of designs worked together rather well with “cowprint deep U-neck jumpers worn with lacy blouses,” according to VOGUE Runway. *** Animal print never fully goes out of style. Whether it be the spotted leopard print, golden blazed tiger, or sleek zebra stripes, fashion draws back to the wildlife-inspired patterns from time to time. Appreciating the use of print—rather than the actual skin— also allows us to step closer toward the embracement of nature, allowing us to have fun in fashion in a cruelty-free, nature-friendly way. But in the end, it’s the joy, the fantasy, and the excitement that should push you to incorporate animal print as a new addition to your fall wardrobe. From Rihanna’s faux-fur bucket hat from R13 to Kendall Jenner’s snake-print ankle boots from Miista, it is no doubt that the animal prints are going wild in trend. Nature-inspired prints will sooner or later urge you to fling open your wardrobe doors and embrace this bold, wild palette for fall. ym

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UGG! It’s Almost Winter WRITTEN BY LILY BROWN

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MAHKYE HAYDEN

G

et ready for boot season with the return of Uggs. The Australian booties once dubbed as the ugliest shoes of the 2010s by The New York Times are making an epic comeback.

Remember the pumpkin-spice-latte-drinking, black-leggings-wearing, “like OMG”-speaking, selfie-taking girls who championed Uggs? That was so fetch. Ugg boots were seen as a daily symbol of status and style in the 2000s. Celebrities and teenage girls alike proudly sported these fuzzy boots.

Despite this, Ugg boots have long been looked down upon as lazy fashion. The boots were considered not only “uggly Uggs,” but rather “fugly.” Uggs were deemed the epitome of basic, as high end fashion experts like Sadie Nicholas from the Daily Mail, as well as style publications like Refinery29 and The Cut, labelled them as the ugliest shoes to ever exist. Since these sources wanted the trend to go away forever and stop more Britneys or Snookis from wearing these ugly boots on their Starbucks runs, it became synonymous to slut-shame and blame girls for looking intoxicated because of their slouchy and disheveled boots.

Even though “Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans and boots with the fur,” was the whole club actually looking at her in a bad way?

Fashion experts believed the big boot was just a glorified slipper backed by clever branding. However, it was still desired by so many people who were obsessed with the fuzzy-everything Y2K trend. After almost a decade hiatus, Uggs are finally being taken out of the shame corner. During quarantine, people communally decided to prioritize comfort in their clothing. Whether it was soft joggers, hoodies, flannels, athleisure, or even pajamas, everyone desired to be comfy, even while they’re making a fashion statement. We no longer have to sacrifice style for comfort, and vice versa.

The sheepskin boots with fleece on the inside will prove very toasty in the upcoming cool weather. Whether she meant it literally or figuratively, Paris Hilton knows “that’s hot.” With social media posts from celebrities like Rihanna, Emily Ratajkowski, and Kendall Jenner fashionably posing with the boots recently, they have proudly reestablished the Ugg trend this winter. While they are on the expensive side, ranging from around $150 to about $400 a pair, they are great quality. They are comfortable, but they also go with everything through the fall and winter months.

This go-to shoe might be the best option not only for bundling up your feet, but also staying on trend this winter. Being from Boston, I know the cold and wet season we have ahead. These bootylicious boots will provide excellent protection and stylish couture for your feet against the snowy and frigid conditions. Although they were coined basic or “uggly” in the past, I cannot wait to wear my Uggs as a snuggly statement. YM

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WHERE’D YA GET

THAT?

WRITTEN BY TALIA SMITH

ART BY JAMES SULLIVAN

reaking out of my anxiety-induced, social-barrier shell took me through a journey of self discovery I hadn’t envisioned— specifically in relation to my style. I had no sense of personal taste or closet curation. At all. For years. A few semesters at Emerson and a well-needed dose of “city living” (as opposed to the Jersey suburbs type-living) helped me replace black sports leggings and graphic tees with skirts, multi-pocketed pants, overalls, and even the occasional assless chap.

I credit much of my fashion sense to other people, as I think most of us should. If we aren’t designing it, we’re curating it—which, yes, deserves recognition. But as much as I’d like to take all the applause for caring about and acting on building my closet up to size, credit should be given where it’s due.

I refer to the way I gather my sense of style as “outsourcing.” This could mean gaining basic ideas from media consumption (shout out my Instagram discover page and Tumblr for #OnesWhoRemember), literally stealing pieces I like from friends or family, or, the riskiest aspect of it all, approaching strangers in public spaces, complimenting them, then asking, “Where’d ya get that?” Let’s outline the pros and cons of this strategy and where it seems to veer me down a dark, sometimes awkward, and rather ugly path.

About 80 percent of the time I work up the courage to actually approach someone about their outfit, they’re super responsive and sweet. We usually stumble into conversation about pieces we each have on, where we shop around Boston, and I’ll often bring up how much I hate online shopping—pricewise and due to lack of knowledge on my own measurements.

We’ll laugh it up, compliment each other one too many times, and part ways. I’ll leave the conversation with new places to shop and fashion inspiration, both things that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside for at least a couple hours after I part ways with my new fashionable stranger/friend. But this nice storybook moment-for-the-journal is only handed to me part of the time. My luck.

It’s generous to say this happens with only 20 percent of my fashion outsourcing ventures because it’s definitely way more. But I try not to think about these kinds of run-ins too much: the ones where the per-

son is either very obviously gatekeeping their pieces (cue phrases like “I don’t really remember,” or “it was so long ago,” and, the big kicker, “it’s high-end and really hard to find, also, suuuuper expensive”), or they ignore the question altogether.

Although any of those answers seem like enough to make me never want to approach a stranger again, or even give up my sense of personal style, the worst response often comes after I ask where they got it. The answer rings: “SHEIN! It’s like, so easy and quick. They have everything. Have you shopped there before?”

Fast fashion is a topic I won’t spend much time crucifying—one, because it’s already been done. We know by now that brands like Zara and ROMWE each have their shitty aspects, especially in relation to environmental degradation and employment wage issues. Two, because Boston is a college city, with college students on college budgets who shop online for accessible pricing and instant gratification. In all that understanding, I just can’t hide the facial reaction that follows when I find out a piece I was initially attracted to was made by an unethical company.

I also will not deny my possession of similarly questionable brands.

However, I make absolutely no attempt to defend these brands when I’m asked where they’re from and am actually pretty openly embarrassed about my Urban Outfitters patchwork school tote, for example, or my secondhand Forever 21 velvet tie-up top.

I’m also well aware that many of the aforementioned brands are often not the original creators of the aesthetics I’m attracted to. The cancellation of these brands comes in many forms, namely viral videos that call out the monster companies for producing knock-off vintage styles or stealing from small businesses. I guess it’s on me for being drawn to the Shein versions of Versace-esque zipper bustiers.

The bottom line is that outsourcing your wardrobe can either go oh-so-right or terribly, horribly wrong. Now, a bigger focus of mine is steering any red-flagged conversations into either a swift exit, or an actively anti-preachy conversation on how we can all, collectively, do better with our consumption choices. That, or Zara could shut down completely. We all have dreams, right? YM

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STREET STY Y LE INTERVIEWED BY TALIA SMITH AND OLIVIA CIGLIANO PHOTOGRAPHED BY JULIA SMITH

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Sergio Cana Rodriguez, he/they, @sir.giogo How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Androgynous, skimpy, punk.

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

Kaltbult Magazine.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Definitely a thrift store, probably Goodwill.

Celebrity style icon?

Blew Velvet!

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

My fire boots, my cowboy hat, and my leather jacket.

Brynn Rhodes, she/her, @ohhbrynn How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Eclectic, bold, edgy-chic.

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

I really get my inspiration from those I work with. I currently work at Free People, and I am always really excited to see the fits people will have.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

I would honestly shop at a thrift store, but specifically ones in Maryland.

Celebrity style icon?

My king Harry Styles.

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

My red cowboy boots, my black corset top, and my denim, fringe jean jacket.

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Amelie Atwater, I use any pronouns, @ amelie_atwater How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Funky, fresh, fierce.

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

I usually just make it up, honestly.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

I’m a big Goodwill girl—you can get anything you want from there.

Celebrity style icon?

Adam Sandler.

What are three pieces of your wardrobe that you can’t live without?

This cowboy hat (that I made), this pair of socks I have with mushrooms on them, and my Doc Martens.

Grace Gamester, they/she, @ggamester How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Ragtag, whimsical, impractical.

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

I usually just pick a piece, decide I want to wear it, then build my outfit from there. Also, my sibling is a style icon who’s more goth than I am, so we give each other suggestions!

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Boomerangs in Central Square. Love that place.

Celebrity style icon?

Ilana Glazer from Broad City!

What are three pieces of your wardrobe that you can’t live without?

My Herschel fanny pack, my knife earrings (they’re real knives), and my G necklace that my mom got me.

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Greg Gager, he/him, @greg.g // Lidya sezer, she/her, @lidyasezer How would you describe your personal style in three words?

GG: Subway Surfer character.

LS: Always evolving & different!

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

GG: I’m not sure, it’s usually just about what seems like the vibe for me from day-to-day.

LS: The Hex Girls.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

GG: The Goodwill in Cambridge!

LS: I used to really hate shopping, but I guess I’d say an online store of some kind.

Celebrity style icon?

GG: I don’t really like to look to any celebrities for inspiration, so I’m gonna say the main Subway Surfer character again.

LS: I used to really hate shopping, but I guess I’d say an online store of some kind.

What are three pieces of your wardrobe that you can’t live without?

GG: Ths necklace I’m wearing that says “love yourself,” fingerless gloves, and jeans that I have to mess with so they fit.

LS: This leather jacket I’m wearing, my little black dress that I love wearing, and my M&M’s vintage race jacket.

Mercer Whitfield, she/her, @merceradair How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Vintage, funky, ridiculous colors (I know that’s four, but).

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

Honestly, anything I see on Instagram that involves high waisted stuff, I’m in. Also, my mom.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

I’m not gonna lie, probably just Goodwill.

Celebrity style icon?

Honestly, I don’t have one. Is that crazy? I like Janelle Monáe’s style, though.

What are three pieces of your wardrobe that you can’t live without?

These shoes I have on, this silver and black ring that I’m not wearing right now, and my double cartilage piercings.

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Reflections DIRECTED BY ASHLEY FERRER

PHOTOGRAPHED BY TALIA SMITH ASSISTED BY JULIA SMITH MODELED BY ETHAN GOLD

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40 | living

YOUR ANXIETY IS L Y I N G TO YOU WRITTEN BY ABIGAIL MURPHY

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t’s 4 a.m., and I’m awake. It’s a Tuesday. I have class in four hours.

I need to finish my essay. I’m really tired, but I have to finish my essay. My stomach rumbles in hunger, but I can’t bear to eat. I need to finish this essay. But why aren’t they texting me? Was it something I said? Do they hate me? I’m so hungry. I need to stop thinking and finish everything. My chest tightens and my eyes well up with tears. I sit in bed at with all my lights on and sob. I sob and I can’t stop. The world feels heavy and I can’t stop crying. But the essay.

That’s what my chronic anxiety feels like. My thoughts race and repeat themselves. I perseverate on things until they feel numb. Then it’s on to the next thought. It’s worse when I drink alcohol or don’t eat, or both. It’s the worst when I don’t sleep. When I sleep, take my meds, and go to therapy once a week, I feel better.

I used to hate when people said, “You’re not alone.” I was convinced no one understood what I was going through. The truth was I never asked. Once I began having conversations with my friends about mental health, I realized we all really need to talk about it.

Anxiety is a liar. It lies to us about what we see, hear, and feel about our abilities and relationships. Anxiety feels like a transparent glass box we’re trapped in: We can see everything, but it all seems inaccessible.

I asked a friend what her anxiety feels like. She says, “It’s never just a feeling. My stomach turns, and I feel a lump in my chest.”

One of my other friends says, “When I’m anxious, I feel like the world is closing in on me. I can never really catch a full breath for the entire day.”

Anxiety is debilitating, so how do we cope in an overwhelming college setting? When I asked some of my peers what strategies they recommend, one said, “Always start with finding a distraction.” For some people, that distraction is academic. I like to get outdoors, putting on shoes and going for a walk outside. My peers have said that they have “comfort shows” they watch when anxiety strikes.

ART BY NATASHA ARNOWITZ

My neighbor says, “When I’m having a difficult week, I binge watch Shameless. The characters face challenges that make my own stuff feel less significant.”

We all have that show, movie, or book that brings us peace when we need it. There are countless other immediate strategies that can also be effective. Taking a shower is a good first step to get through an anxious day. It can feel revitalizing, and it’s a good excuse to get out of bed. Another step is to reach out to a friend. One of your friends is definitely hungry or in desperate need of coffee. Challenge yourself to reach out and nourish your body. One of my personal favorite coping skills is looking at pictures of my pets. I have photo albums of my cat to prove it. This last strategy is by far the most challenging. However, channeling your anxiety into creativity can also be effective. Take your emotions and transform them into art. Paint, draw, sing, dance. Take advantage of how healing and fun it is.

When in doubt, have a go-to list of people to call when you need to talk. They are people you can call that will: a.) pick up b.) listen to you carefully and kindly c.) know when to offer support.

In my experience, the only way I can get through an anxious day is to feel everything. We are told to be impervious to little things that set us off. I used to feel ashamed of my anxiety and how I let it affect me. So now, I embrace it and feel it all. If I need to cry, I will. If I need to watch hours of Schitt’s Creek, I will. I call my parents! Do not be ashamed of any and all feelings. We cannot control when anxious feelings arise; we should not have to control how our bodies respond.

Anxiety is isolating above all else. You could be in a room full of people and feel alone. Odds are you’re around people who are trapped in their own glass boxes. Don’t let yourself hide away. Break down the walls. YM

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Society Sabotaged My Spanish

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WRITTEN BY ASHLEY FERRER

ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

ver since I can remember, I’ve spoken Spanish with my family.

Both of my parents are immigrants from the Dominican Republic, and my maternal grandmother migrated to the United States just in time to help raise me. Yet, after being set free into the world—mine being white suburbia—the language suddenly felt like something beyond me.

As I grew up in the Florida suburbs, my parents struggled between wanting my brother and I to actively speak their native language or speak what we were learning in school. Eventually, they settled on speaking Spanish in the household to keep us in touch with our heritage and our abuela. However, outside of the house, my norm slowly shifted to strictly English, as I got more comfortable in the language I used most often and more insecure about speaking Spanish.

Looking back, there was a moment that this shift could be attributed to. In first grade, I was at a playdate with the rest of my flag football cheerleading squad, and the host announced that we would be playing princesses. As I excitedly arose, she looked at me, the only person of color and Spanish speaker in the room, and demanded that I “had to be the maid.” I deeply internalized that moment for most of my childhood, initiating my anxiety-stricken need to hide part of my identity. Before I knew it, I had abandoned my roots outside of my doorstep, while my curl pattern and Spanish fluency paid the price of my assimilation in a primarily white town.

By the time I started high school, I began to surround myself with a more diverse group of friends that had gone through similar experiences and supported me in my journey of embracing my full identity. I stopped straightening my hair and actually started involving my friends in Dominican culture, from sharing my abuela’s cooking, to dancing, bachata, and dembow. However, my anxiety regarding speaking Spanish remained.

At my school, there was a close-knit community of Hispanics that spoke Spanish no matter where they were. Many of them were born in their family’s native country or came from areas with a large Hispanic population. Once again, I felt as if I was on the outside looking in.

These kids were so in touch with their culture, while I spent most of my life actively fighting against mine. I envied that, although I lived in the same white-dominated city as them, they could be themselves and speak their domestic language so effortlessly, embracing every side of them without a second thought. Meanwhile, I was so conscious of this internal switch dividing Spanish at home and English anywhere else.

For me, that distinction was everything. When you misspeak or say the wrong word in front of family, they usually let out a light chuckle and move on without correction. In the real world, when you are speaking Spanish, it is all out there for others to judge. For instance, the

infamous “Yo No Sabo” kid phenomenon. This nickname references the common improper conjugation of the verb, “saber,” and went viral, shaming people of Hispanic/Latinx descent that don’t know or barely speak Spanish. The deep-rooted fear of not fitting in my own community and once again being branded as an outsider scared me.

It was as if my second nature had been weaponized against me. The thought of interjecting in public conversation in Spanish riddled me with anxiety and made me hyperaware of every syllable spoken. I hated the sound of my own voice; my American accent gave my years of mispractice away.

I would look to apps like Duolingo or set extra time to engage in conversations with my abuela and try to force myself to perfect my craft, but what I realized was that I knew the verbiage, the grammar, and what words meant. I simply had lost my connection to the language, triggering my apprehension and lack of confidence in my abilities. I put so much pressure on myself because I constantly felt like I had to prove myself when speaking Spanish that I would overcompensate and mess up even more. It was a matter of performance anxiety, not knowledge deficiency.

Since English had been so ingrained within me and was a language everyone around me spoke 24/7, I never had to consciously think about how I sounded when I spoke. But in Spanish, since I was so accustomed to being singled out anyways, I fixated on my delivery and acted as my own biggest critic before I could even get the words out.

This realization served as both a shock and a sigh of relief. While I was concerned about losing touch with the beautiful culture I grew to love and embrace for myself, it proved to be simply a roadblock of my own doing, a mental barricade aimed to protect me from any more harsh judgements or microaggressions. Now, it is up to me to undo the years of conditioning that convinced me to live as two separate people.

Every time I call my parents, I try to speak to them strictly in Spanish, as well as the rest of my relatives, regardless of whether or not they speak English. Bachata, among Spanish trap and salsa, often plagues my speakers while I attempt to emulate the artist’s pronunciation. I try to force myself out of my comfort zone, speaking Spanish in public to shed that irrational fear of being abashed.

Although I won’t just wake up one day speaking perfect Spanish, pushing myself closer to that goal is the least I can do for a language that has given me so much. From giving me access to understand the most rhapsodic music to acting as a medium for me to speak with my abuela, who I consider one of my best friends, Spanish has served such a principal role in my life, even when I left it in the dust. YM

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BODILY PRESERVATION: WHY IS NO ONE AGING? WRITTEN BY MEGGIE PHAN

W

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ELIE LARGURA

e’ve all heard of rejuvenation as a term long used by the beauty industry to lure in older women and capitalize on the societal pressures they face to stay young. “Pre-juvenation” is the evolution of this, targeting

younger women instead of their older counterparts.

Defined by the Dermatology Times as “patients who begin non-invasive beauty treatments sooner to prevent, rather than later to correct, the signs of aging,” pre-juvenation may sound like a rather reasonable decision to prevent signs of aging, but a 2019 American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery report revealed a rather gruesome picture.

Board-certified facial plastic surgeons reported that out of all the procedures they performed, 85 percent of them were minimally invasive, indicating a 13 percent growth in the number of non-surgical procedures since 2018. The most common procedures were neurotoxins such as botox, filler, and skin treatments. Further research faults social media as one of the root causes for this growth, as 72 percent of those surveyed reported seeing patients seeking procedures to “look better in selfies.”

How did it all come down to this?

Capitalism.

Social media platforms such as Instagram have now become cogs in the larger machine that is capitalism, used to push ideals onto us to incentivize our spending. Capitalism works with the patriarchy to create “flaws” and insecurities we see within ourselves, or point out the ways in which we can better appease the male gaze. The more “flaws” we perceive within ourselves, the more products we buy to address these perceived issues. We have gained a new level of access to people who were unreachable before. We have all been there before, swiping through influencers’ stories; seeing what they’re eating, drinking, doing, and what they’ve gotten done. This increasing openness has desensitized people to the risks of these operations.

I wasn’t even aware of all the things considered to be “flaws.” My smile lines are just from the way my face moves.

But my social media algorithm disagrees with me, as another plastic surgeon’s Instagram reel pops up on my feed, suggesting various types of non-invasive surgeries I can do to keep parts of me “youthful.”

My skin crawls as I scroll away, sometimes switching apps if it was hitting a little too close to home.

A close friend of mine from high school texted me that one of our mutual friends had gotten a discount on her double-eyelid surgery in Seoul, expressing an interest in going to the same clinic. A relative of mine took my photo to the clinic and got lip fillers to get my lips because she thought it would make her look younger.

“I wanna still look related to the family, you know?” she told me in Vietnamese.

What am I to do now? Will it be my turn? It’s not like I can scroll away from them, nor can I log off. This obsession with looking younger is now seeping into our immediate circle: This trend is staying, for better or worse. YM

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Lesbian Identities Under the Patriarchy WRITTEN BY AMYA DIGGS

PHOTOGRAPHED BY JESSIE HEARTHER

e live in an outdated patriarchy where men have unnecessary power over everyone else. A woman will often take the man’s last name when married, children are expected to take on their father’s last name when they’re born, and men get paid more for doing the same amount of work the rest of us do. These aspects of our society never meant that much to me until I realized that I have absolutely no direct relationship to the patriarchy that we live in.

I’m not a man, and I’m not going to marry one.

There is a certain level of prejudice that we all face as lesbians, and being a woman is the foundation of that. My girlfriend, Valerye, and I have always acknowledged the setbacks that we have as a lesbian couple. We both know how it feels to run into people who aren’t accepting of our lifestyle; they make that well known in any circumstance. I never had a huge coming out conversation with anyone, including my family.

I started dating Valerye, hid it from my family out of insecurity, and a few months later I told my family and that was it.

When Valerye and I hold hands in public, sometimes people stare, and other times they will yell things like, “Fag,” or “Dyke” and even tell us that we are disgusting. In high school, there was this boy in our class who always made it a point to yell slurs at us in school, at a local grocery store, and even at our favorite park that he lived next to. At first it was a burden, but as time went on and he never seemed to get over our relationship, we realized this was about his own insecurity more than anything.

This is a common experience for so many lesbians, but it wasn’t until I met other lesbians both in relationships and not that I realized our experience wasn’t something unheard of.

All queer people experience prejudice, and lesbians certainly get that backlash as well, but there is something about women relationships that has really upset people. I think a lot of the backlash lesbians receive is heavily based on misogyny, our society just cannot seem to grasp the idea of a woman never needing a man in their lives. In addition to the fear of existing in public as a woman, Isabella Mule, ‘25 mentions how

being open about her lesbian identity further puts her in danger.

“I have a cute lesbian pin on my tote bag that I travel with, [but oftentimes] when going out alone or to an area I don’t know, I remove the pin in fear that the wrong person will see it and result in me being in danger.” In hopes of not being harassed for at least one of our characteristics, sacrificing our beloved sexuality to stay safe is an unfortunate reality.

There are a lot of cultures with very historically homophobic beliefs. Being a lesbian of color has three layers of potential prejudice: gender, sexuality, and ethnicity. Coming from a very American, black and white family, my culture never made it hard for me to exist. However, I know that for lesbians of color with strong cultural backgrounds, it isn’t as easy for their family to accept them let alone understand them.

Olivia “Olive” de Guzman, Hunter College ‘25 said, “Many of the men in my Filipino family, especially the older generation, search for acceptance in this country through approval of the white man, and because my lesbianism—my queerness—is not inherently ‘American,’ my lifestyle is unacceptable.” Olive comes from a first-generation American family, so their sexuality is a lot to grasp for many of their family members because it’s not as accepted where they’re from. Valerye also comes from a first-generation American family, and she has a similar experience to Olive, so I know how challenging it is.

I am proud of who I am and how far I’ve come with my identity.

For so long it scared me to tell people that I’m a lesbian and not that I’m gay. Gay has morphed over time into a word many queer people use to let people know their sexuality, and for some reason it was just easier for me to say. The older that I get the more solidified my identity becomes to me, so finally, for the first time in my life I am comfortable with telling the world that I am a lesbian. YM

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“There is a certain level of prejudice that we all face as lesbians, and being a woman is the foundation of that.”

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Muse I Am

Photographed and Directed by Lily Brown Modeled by Liz Farias Style and Makeup by Zoey Schorsch

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Melancholic Ballads to Upbeat Pop: Are Artists Allowed To Change?

WRITTEN BY NEEKA BOROUMANDI

ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

A

years of our life. Our feelings with music feel inherently nostalgic and

as a sort of safe haven who are supposed to reflect our emotions back to

WLP student and music listener Kait Joyner ‘22 says.

s I was listening to “The Path” by Lorde on repeat, something stuck out to me. The lyrics, “If you are looking for a saviour, well that’s not me” made me think of the heavy expectations

that are placed on artists to make music a certain way. We look at artists us. The pain. The agony. Those tough emotions that we need someone else to feel with us. What happens when sad artists become happy? Do we turn our backs on them?

Following the release of Solar Power, many listeners of Lorde had mixed initial reactions. Fans grew accustomed to the melancholic angst and emotionally brutal lyrics that carried her work in Melodrama and Pure Heroine. They resonated with feelings of being a bit too much for everyone and feeling apprehensive about the future. Comparing this to Solar Power, where she is dancing in the sun with a “new state of mind,” it can feel as though she is miles away from us on a beach, which is a shift that many were not expecting, myself included. This led me to think about what happens when our favorite sad artists shift their music and why so many are afraid of this shift.

When these artists stop creating painful songs, it can feel as though we are left to deal with those emotions on our own.These artists truly do not owe us their pain; nonetheless, many still crave it.

Emerson College Music Historian in Residence Fredericka King notes how, “Many people have come to expect that artists are obligated to give them what they have always had from them. It’s happened regularly. The listener may not be ready to ‘get happy,’ and it’s like a change in any ‘relationship’—it requires that an adjustment be made.”

Sad music makes us feel validated in our own sadness. To have someone who shares our emotions no longer feel those emotions can feel like a loss. This stems from listeners projecting our own emotions onto people we do not personally know. That is not the artist’s fault, and we tend to forget that.

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“Many of us form attachments to these artists during formative personal because we have taken these songs from these artists and they have become part of a landscape in how we understand ourselves,” This idea of relying on these artists for their more vulnerable music gets further cemented with the release of Mitski’s new song “Working for the Knife,” which grapples with the idea of becoming an adult while faced with a world that has no humanity. Many listeners on Twitter made jokes of Mitski beating the happiness allegations, unlike Lorde. Therefore, many were thrilled that Mitski continued to release heavier music.

It was a bit funny at first, but it also made me a lot more aware how listeners tend to romanticize the way in which artists that are down seem to create “better” art—let’s rephrase—more relatable art. There is almost a beauty that is shown when an artist is sad, which cannot be demonstrated in their art if they are no longer in that state of mind. It is not that happy songs aren’t good or listened to as often, but it seems as though they do not reflect back our vulnerability. This idea ties back to the glamorization of the tortured artist cliche that makes these artists more appealing because they are sad, which can be a huge issue.

“Upbeat-sounding music can still hold complex emotions just like sad music can,” Joyner continues.

It is not productive to dwell on the mindset of never letting artists change and get to a place where they are doing better. In fact, we should admire the fact that people have gotten to a place where they can write about basking in the sun and dancing their cares away. It is oversimplistic to say that artists cannot ever change their art. However, it is not a bad thing that we see ourselves reflected through their art. We just have to be aware that musicians are not our property and will not always reflect back the same emotions we feel.

Musicians aren’t supposed to stay stagnant. Emotions are varied in the human experience, even when we feel stuck in our own sadness. YM

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Freeform’s Freefall: The Collapse of Cable’s Teen Drama ART BY FRANCESCA POLISTINA

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WRITTEN BY KATE RISPOLI

B

ack in middle school and high school, my go-to way to avoid thinking about the over-the-top complexities of my teenage drama was escaping through…teen dramas. (Yes, it’s ironic.)

ABC Family (now Freeform) was my top choice for escapism. The plethora of teen dramas featured was enough to make my problems seem miniscule. It could always be worse: I could be receiving anonymous death threats between classes, like the girls of Pretty Little Liars; or torn between two families, like the frenemies of Switched at Birth; or facing a forbidden love with a foster sibling, like the protagonist of The Fosters.

I still do the same with more modern teen dramas, like Genera+ion and Tiny Pretty Things. Outside of my own favorites, the genre is vast. Shows like Sex Education and Euphoria feature diverse casts, socially relevant storylines, and enough drama to keep viewers captivated, all tied together with the melodrama of the teenage years.

Notably, these are all available on subscription services, which have dominated cable television for years. Modern viewers still adore teen dramas, and cable has not been completely overthrown (consider The CW’s All American). Yet, the old hub for teen dramas may still be standing, but it’s failing to stay relevant.

Freeform, as ABC Family, was less racy and flashy than The CW, but still told teen stories. Notably, these shows earned iconic statuses because besides their ostentatious drama; they pushed the envelope in the way few other shows had.

The Fosters, which ran from 2013 to 2018, stands out as a trailblazer. The show exposed audiences to topics that television often deemed taboo. It dived into the complexities of the foster care system, interracial and same-sex marriage, and a plethora of social justice issues, from classism in the education system to discrimination in the immigration system.

Switched at Birth was another ABC Family frontrunner, winning the Peabody Award for outstanding and invigorating storytelling in 2013.

Disability representation was taken to the next step when deaf characters were played authentically by deaf actors, and even more so with the 2013 episode “Uprising,” in which dialogue was communicated entirely through ASL. These shows were truly just a perfect blend. They were progressive and made great social commentary, and at the same time, they were chock-full of entertainment. Some of the storylines featured

were entirely absurd, and there was no shortage of parties thrown with parents out of town, boyfriends stolen with no respect for “girl code,” and life-threatening accidents that are neatly resolved by the next episode.

In 2016, though, a shift in the network’s branding led to a shift in content, and a shift away from audience interest. ABC Family was renamed Freeform, hoping to move away from family-centered material and develop more risque teen content.

Given ABC Family had pushed the envelope so much in its time, anticipation was high for what Freeform would do to up the ante. The execution, though, was sorely lacking, and failed to live up to the set expectations.

The rebrand opened with the fantasy-drama Shadowhunters, which seemed to set the tone for Freeform’s newer creations. It featured a racially diverse cast, beat out The Fosters for a GLAAD award in 2017 (shoutout #Malec), and then was cancelled after three seasons. The rise of streaming services stood in the way of cable views, so Freeform resorted to cancellation instead of acceptance of this new era of television.

Without giving new content the chance to obtain the iconic status of older shows, Freeform resorted instead to nostalgia.

As of 2021, Freeform’s frontrunners are Grown-ish and Good Trouble, spinoffs of Black-ish and The Fosters, respectively. An audience is guaranteed with the feature of beloved characters from old shows, rather than taking a risk on new content.

Additionally, for a channel that was once so forward, progressive topics are strangely portrayed. Rather than fully incorporating modern issues within the plots, the characters simply discuss these issues, akin to a Socratic seminar. What draws in viewers is not the intriguing drama, nor the admirable progressiveness, but rather, the attachment to shows of the past.

The network seems to be torn between its content, either strong new ideas that quickly face the chopping block because of the downfall of cable, or spinoffs that lack the excitement of the original. It’s no wonder Freeform fails to keep up in the age of streaming services.

Teen dramas exist for a mix of escapism and entertainment, and when neither of those boxes are checked, Freeform’s freefall is undoubtedly inevitable. ym

“for a channel that was once so forward, the progressivity is strangely portrayed.”

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HELL Is A TEENAGE GIRL F

or the first 19 years of my life, I thought I hated horror movies.

As a lifelong chick flick lover who rewatches Mean Girls and Clueless like they’re going out of style, I hated anything even slightly gory or disturbing. At age 10, I once left a sleepover early because Twilight was too intense for me.

But back in June, I decided to watch the cult classic Jennifer’s Body (2009), and with it, I discovered my new favorite genre: the late 90s/ early 2000s teen girl horror comedy, which includes films like The Craft (1996), Jawbreaker (1999), and Ginger Snaps (2000). These films fascinate me with their campy, highly stylized dialogue; fantastic costume design; and marriage of the cutesiness of high school comedies to the darkness of horror.

Visual and media arts major and horror expert Mirabella Cue ‘24 says, “[This genre] completely flips the stereotype on its head...

Normally women are in horror movies to be disposable; they’re there for the male gaze, but in this case, they’re films made for women.”

This is what differentiates films in this hybrid genre from those classified as strictly horror, or typical teen comedies. When women are the villains, there is more of an opportunity for their characters to be multifaceted and complex.

I looked into the critical reception of these films and was surprised to find a pattern of “sleeper hits”—films that receive poor or neutral reviews and perform badly at the box office, but later gain cult status upon home video and/or streaming release. I was disappointed and confused. It was my understanding that anyone in their right mind would be obsessed with Jennifer’s Body the moment they saw it, so why did it only find success after almost 10 years?

Both horror films and teen comedies tend to reflect and respond to the social and cultural ideas of their respective eras. For the early 2000s, characters were crafted in opposition to the stereotype of the “Elena Gilbert, Victoria’s Secret model, virginal good-girl-next-door,” Cue says. Instead, the characters in these films are outsiders and considered odd or dark. In Ginger Snaps, sisters Ginger and Brigitte are out-

casts with a suicide pact and an outspoken fascination with death; The Craft follows a friend group of witches discovering their powers, which they manipulate to get revenge on their classmates.

The otherness of the women in these films is also reflected in how they interact with male characters. In Ginger Snaps, Ginger turns her classmate Jason—who has been sexually harassing her—into a werewolf by having sex with him. The entire plot of Jennifer’s Body is that a popular cheerleader uses her powers of seduction to trap boys and eat them. The primary way in which the women in these films interact with men is through sexual empowerment and revenge.

A key reason why these films failed in the box office when they were first released is that they were incorrectly marketed to adolescent boys initially because of the horror and hot girls. In a patriarchal society—particularly that of the U.S. 20 years ago—most straight men don’t care to see a movie about the sexual liberation of women, especially as it relates to killing men. Despite these films having the horror and hot girls that they advertised, they are hyperfeminine and tackle themes of coming-of-age and sexuality in a way that has little to do with empowering men.

However, over the years, they have finally found their rightful audience, particularly with the evolving conversation surrounding feminism and the #MeToo movement. While they are, at times, far from perfect in tackling issues of sexual assault in a sensitive and accurate way, these new viewers are more prepared to see a feminist revenge film today than they might have been 20 years ago, especially when they are marketed correctly. The teen girl horror comedy of the late noughties and early aughts is the great forgotten genre, and like so many issues of representation in media, the reason comes back to the patriarchal standards in the industry. However, this genre has been reclaimed by a new generation of cheesy chick flick lovers who enjoy a hyperfeminine villain and some tasteful misandry—in my opinion, the best of all worlds. YM

“YOU’RE KILLING PEOPLE!”

“NO, I’M KILLING BOYS.”

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WRITTEN BY JULIA SLAUGHTER PHOTOGRAPHY BY FRANCESCA POLISTINA

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BESSIE T SMITH: MAKING AN EMPRESS

WRITTEN BY KATHERINE ASSELIN PHOTOGRAPHY BY TALIA SMITH

he Empress of the Blues was a woman confident in her talent, her bisexuality, and herself. She was a success despite the many obstacles in her path. In her prime, she was an actress, a dancer, a natural talent, a poet, and a figurehead that created a lasting legacy.

But before she was an Empress, Bessie Smith was an orphan living in Tennessee with her siblings. In order to scrape by, Smith and her brother sang on the street and in churches. At 16, she joined Ma Rainey, the classic blues icon, and began traveling the tent performance circuit. Ma Rainey was a mentor to Smith, but as Leigh Whipper said in a 1971 interview of the first time he saw her perform, “Bessie was born with that voice, and she had a style of her own when I first heard her in Atlanta [in 1913].”

In 1923, Smith released “Gulf Coast Blues” and “Down Hearted Blues,” the latter of which was written by two women and sold over 750,000 copies in its first year. Smith became the first African American superstar, and her career propelled race records—records recorded by Black entertainers specifically for Black audiences—into the market.

Smith’s success came from her ability to weave power and agency into her lyrics. She crafted stories around women who were unafraid of being judged for their actions and being true to themselves, and many Black women resonated with her music because they saw themselves in her protagonists. She was openly bisexual and encouraged women to be confident in their bodies, having women on stage at performances shaking their bodies long before performances by Lizzo. Smith sang with honesty and vulnerability about issues that affected her and her community. Her authenticity about the hardships of poverty, racism, sexism, and love made her songs emotional and created a connection with the audience. In 1927, she wrote and released “Back-Water Blues” for flood victims in Cincinnati who had asked her to immortalize their pain in song. She sang about Black lives with “care and conviction” and propelled forward the “revolutionary idea that Black lives mattered—and specifically, that Black women’s lives mattered,” Maureen Mahon said in NPR in 2019.

Smith’s song “Tain’t Nobody’s Business If I Do” emphasizes her self-identity and her defiant spirit: “If I should take a notion to jump into the ocean, taint nobody’s bizness if I do.” Her confidence reflects the values and ideals of the Harlem Renaissance and Black culture in the ‘20s and her ability to connect with the experiences and current feelings of her predominantly Black audience.

Bessie Smith dealt with abusive lovers, the challenges of being in the public eye, the Great Depression, alcoholism, and the challenges of the music industry, just to name a few. Her songs remind the listener that while “there’s always someone prettier out there, or sexier, or with better jewelry,” they are more than adequate, Gwen Thompkins wrote in NPR in 2018. She reminds us that human existence has meaning and power because of its temporary nature, and that we are stronger after enduring loss and grief in ways that we may not even understand.

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YOURTHINGS Katie Powers WITH

Highschool Ring I’m graduating college in December, shouldn’t my high school ring be collecting dust? Yes, but as a counterpoint, green is my favorite color. I went to an all-girls, Catholic school—something that is more common than usual where I’m from in St. Louis—and getting our school rings at the end of junior year was like the event everyone anticipated. Though I don’t wear it every day, it brings me some sense of connection to home and serves as a reminder of the slightly chaotic feminine energy I used to be immersed in. And yes, on any given day, it is most likely at the bottom of my chicken slipper earrings holder.

Stuffed Bear “Dewey” This is my pride and joy, my ride or die. Strangely enough, this little guy’s name has changed throughout the many years I’ve had him, but most recently I’ve taken to calling him Dewey—the name of my family dog/bestie because it just feels right. My parents bought this stuffed bear for me in the New Orleans airport when I was two, and we’ve been kicking it together ever since. When I was kid, I always thought my house was going to burn down (I had an active imagination), so I told myself if I could only save one thing from my room, it was my bear.

Green jacket My good friend took me and some others home for Oyster Fest in her hometown on the Cape a couple years ago.

While there, I thrifted this over-sized, light green jacket (famously my favorite color) that has become a staple in my closet. I wear it almost constantly, even when it doesn’t look great.

Danny Devito Mug During my first semester of freshman year, I binged all of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and quickly meme’d out a little too hard about the one and only Danny Devito. Friends and family took note. My sister gifted me this beautiful mug with Devito’s mug on it (see what I did there?) for Christmas, and my boyfriend—who I’d only been dating for a couple of months at the time—got me a miniature cardboard cutout of the man for my birthday. The faux-obsession has slowly faded, but the mug sits on my desk everyday holding my pens. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Chicken Slipper Jewelry Holder I recently bought this little guy at Goodwill for less than a dollar, which feels like a total steal if you ask me. I was drawn to the feet of this half-person, half-tiny cup because of what appears to be chicken slippers painted on by hand. I’m not really sure what the original intention for it was, but I suspect it’s an Easter decoration. I now use it as a holding place for miscellaneous rings and earrings, and it adds a certain charm to my window sill.

Crusty White Tennis Shoes They’re basic, white Sperry tennis shoes that are borderline boomer vibes, but I love pairing them with quite literally any of the pants I own—sometimes with a fun sock situation. The leather laces easily break in half and the white canvas is prone to stains, but they make me feel like a more put together version of myself for some reason.

I can’t explain to you why I love these shoes so much, but I do.

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ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

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ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

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YOURTHINGS WITHTiffany

Carbon

Necklace When I was 19, I bought a gold necklace with a framed, T. It’s a kind of necklace that demands attention as it dangles on my chest. It reminds me of the princess jewelry of my childhood and makes every outfit look better.

One time, a date told me it looked “regal,” and I knew I would never stop wearing it.

Favorite Cup In an attempt to be a maximalist, I constantly went browsing through the miscellaneous or decoration sections of thrift stores when I first moved into my apartment. It’s how I found the spunky cocktail glass that I’ve never used.

It’s a bit too small to actually drink anything out of, but it’s just so fun! The fading pink body, sparkly orange base, and twisted stem make me feel like I’m living my Carrie Bradshaw fantasy: ordering a cosmo.

Nightstand A couple of months ago I found the sweetest little nightstand on Facebook Marketplace that I couldn’t resist. It’s obviously aged, peppered with scratches and chipped paint all over the body. I bought it for $5 from someone’s dad in Somerville, and I like to imagine it used to belong to his kid who has now outgrown the pink roses and polka dot stars that I once did too. I look at it every morning, tracing the painted thorns and pulling on the rickety drawers.

Twilight Poster When I was a sophomore, I bought a Twilight poster online to decorate my dorm room. The poster arrived as a grandiose canvas of Bella and Edward embracing, and I was immediately obsessed. I have it pinned up on the inside of my closet door now, and it scares me almost every day when I look into my mirror and my brain tells me a random white man is hiding in my closet. It’s traveled with me across three rooms and two years and gained some rips, creases, and kisses for Bella in its time.

Giorgione Painting During another weekly Goodwill trip during the summer, I found a wood transfer print of a Giorgione painting, Concerto di Musica. It’s the image of a woman and two men enjoying a show. The woman gazes ahead while the two men sneakily glance at one another. There’s a hand on a shoulder, and it’s clear there’s a story here that we’ll never know. It gives 1900s infidelity, homoeroticism, and gossip accentuated by its dark, deep wood color. I have it hanging near my mirror and remind myself to add a tasteful amount of drama to life every day.

Headphones My headphones are always with me because I can’t stomp around the city without music. When a song is playing, I don’t get too distracted while completing my daily tasks. With every different playlist or genre, I create my own little worlds—like when I’m marching fast as shit down the street, listening to French music pretending I’m on the way to a party and not my job.

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YOURTHINGS

WITH Gabriela Portugal

My Nameplate Necklace I will never go a day without my golden, nameplate necklace. For my quinceñera, my grandparents got me my nameplate necklace. Not only is it a staple in my wardrobe, but it’s a reminder of the special people who made me who I am.

Green Converse As a senior about to graduate college, I have a fear of becoming a monotonous adult. Each time I wear my green Converse, I feel just a little bit livelier. I can always rely on my green Converse to add a boost of flavor to my otherwise neutral color palette.

Leotards Though I am a designer and writer by day, by night, I am a dancer. Just like Superman, I will have a ballet leotard layered under my street clothes at any given moment. Honestly, nothing is more familiar for me than wearing leotards.

Yellow Fjällräven Backpack My friends can spot me from a mile away because of my yellow Fjällräven backpack. Unfortunately, that little backpack has endured some wear and tear from hauling it between numerous states and one or two countries, but I still love it. She’s been through it all with me.

Lavender-Scented Candle Maximum coziness is always topped off with a lavender-scented candle. Since childhood, the powdery aroma constantly filled the halls of my home. Not only does lavender remind me of happy memories as a child, but the perfume exudes an elegance I hope to achieve.

Oat Milk Latte Okay, not to be that b*tch, but oat milk lattes are actually great. As someone who can’t really go a day without caffeine but also can’t stomach dairy, oat milk lattes are a lifesaver. November, especially, is when you will usually see a hot oat milk latte in my hand.

ART BY REB CZUKOSKI

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YM ADVISES:

FAVORITE WINTER ACCESSORIES

“During the fall and winter months, you can almost definitely find me wearing my Levi’s denim jacket, some gold earrings and rings usually from Etsy, and a seasonally appropriate nail color (these are pressons from CVS, shhh).” — Jess Ferguson, Head Copy Chief

“In the fall/winter I always bust out my Carhartt beanies and anything corduroy in my closet. I also just got this golden abstract face necklace on Newbury Street, and it’s my favorite thing ever, especially when layering over turtlenecks when it’s chilly.” — Charlize Tungol, Assistant Social Media Director 72 | yourmag

“I usually try to switch it up as much as possible with my earrings, but this makeshift one is probably my favorite. It’s an Italian Mano Cornuto charm, which is meant to ward off evil. The charm broke off of an old chain I would wear it on, so I slipped it onto a broken earring I had and created one of my favorite earrings to date”. — Talia Smith, Managing Editor

“My favorite fall/winter accessory are these handmade hoops I got off Etsy that have my birthstone in them. I like to pair these more dainty hoops with a chunkier earring when my outfit needs a little extra pizzazz.” — MaryCatherine Neal, Living Editor “I got these two rings from Ritual Arts on Harvard Ave. The stones are green tourmaline, which is supposed to help with emotional healing and growth, and carnelian, which corresponds with creativity and vitality. I’ve been wearing them every day and am probably getting a little superstitious about it—I feel like my luck goes south when I leave them at home.” — Amanda Hampton, Editor-in-Chief

“I love a good layered necklace, and you can always find me wearing these two. The one with my birthstone I got as a graduation gift, and the other necklace I got off Etsy for $20! Layered jewelry looks especially cool over turtlenecks, perfect for winter.” — Isa Luzarraga, Assistant Head Designer yourmag | 73

YMP3: masterpieces

ART BY NATASHA ARNOWITZ

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BANG BANG BANG BANG — SOHODOLLS ALWAYS FOREVER — CULTS LINGER — THE CRANBERRIES GOLDEN BROWN — THE STRANGLERS THE LOUVRE — LORDE MONSOON — AMBER MARK AND MIA MARK STORM — MARCIN RUNNING UP THAT HILL (A DEAL WITH GOD) — KATE BUSH COLORS — BLACK PUMAS ALWAYS ALRIGHT — ALABAMA SHAKES FADE INTO YOU — MAZZY STAR I GET OVERWHELMED — DARK ROOMS NIGHT SHIFT — LUCY DACUS DANCE YRSELF CLEAN — LCD SOUNDSYSTEM WHEN I’M SMALL — PHANTOGRAM LOSING YOU — SOLANGE THE RAIN SONG — LED ZEPPELIN FLY ME TO THE MOON — FRANK SINATRA ALL TOO WELL — TAYLOR SWIFT

THE CHAIN — FLEETWOOD MAC VOGUE — MADONNA LOVE ON THE BRAIN — RIHANNA CARDIGAN — TAYLOR SWIFT HARD FEELINGS/LOVELESS — LORDE NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL — LANA DEL REY I KNOW THE END — PHOEBE BRIDGERS SIGN OF THE TIMES — HARRY STYLES MAGGOT BRAIN — FUNKADELIC PEAS — BOYLIFE POLITICS & VIOLENCE — DOMINIC FIKE NOTHING COMPARES 2 U — SINÉAD O'CONNOR WUTHERING HEIGHTS — KATE BUSH FIRST LOVE / LATE SPRING — MITSKI GOLD RUSH — TAYLOR SWIFT HEAVEN OR LAS VEGAS — COCTEAU TWINS PYRAMIDS — FRANK OCEAN ANDROMEDA — WEYES BLOOD PINK IN THE NIGHT — MITSKI GODLIGHT — NOAH KAHAN

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ARTIST STATEMENT

ELLA FIELDS

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Are you planning to pursue a career in filmmaking?

Yes absolutely! I don’t know where in the industry I quite fit in yet, but studying film in school is such a wonderful opportunity for exploration. It is interesting to begin to learn more about the business side of the industry in terms of working to make a living, versus the pure craving to just create and express. Wherever I end up, I hope to always be able to work on letting my own ideas and creative visions flourish.

What is your favorite aspect of filmmaking? What do you like about it?

It is so difficult to choose one part of the process because they all hold different places in my heart for many different reasons. I think screenwriting feels the closest to how my brain works, yet it is one of the most difficult things for me to do. Writing my first screenplay here in Boston, I learned a lot about a deeper love and desire to write. Once I began, I felt as if everything I experienced—the conversations I had, the places I went, the music I came across—all gave me hints on what the story needed. It gave me an excuse to go out and experience things. Writing feels like a foundation for such a magical process, yet the process of writing can often feel the most magical out of any aspect. Editing is awesome too because it feels like such a reward to see all the hard work begin to take form. I also really love directing actors, and it is something I would like to learn more about.

What inspires you?

There are so many little things, each becoming more prominent throughout different phases of life. However, I think that the main thing I tend to draw inspiration from is love. It seems to exist at the center of all the other things that inspire me—music, color, emotion, nature, time, memory. I think all these things can exist as their own inspiration, but when I connect a song to a moment of romance, or a color to a feeling of butterflies, that is when I feel the most. I also draw a lot of inspiration from childhood, not necessarily from the specifics of my own, but more so within the ideas that come hand in hand with youth. Having a sense of wonder about the world around me is how I’ve been able to formulate my favorite ideas and concepts.

What do you want people to take away from your art?

The answer to this definitely varies from project to project, but I think I could say that most of my work falls under the umbrella of wanting people to feel a sense of urgency to make something of their own. My goal is always to accurately represent the way that I view life, and I hope that people can pick apart things that they resonate with but maybe haven’t quite been able to articulate. If somebody can see the credits of one of my films and feel the fire underneath them to feel or experience or create, then I feel a big portion of my hope is fulfilled.

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What’s your favorite memory making films?

When I was shooting my film Over the Moon, the last film I made before moving away from home, I set a goal for myself to find a better balance between filmmaking and my social life. I’d always felt like I had kept these different parts of myself separate, and the limited time I had before moving really helped me push to do so.

On my 18th birthday, I decided to shoot the party scenes for the film and have a little get-together with friends from different areas of my life. I’ve never liked being around a lot of people on my birthday, but this felt like it really fit with the intention I had set. It was the most nervous I had ever been for a shoot, but the amount of love that I felt from the people around me and the amount of creativity that blossomed from that night formed the greatest set memory yet. I also dressed up my friends as characters from my old films, which was just the most wholesome thing to see.

What inspired Over The Moon?

A few weeks before quarantine began, I spent an evening reading through all the books I read as a kid and felt totally awestruck upon seeing how these stories impacted and almost foreshadowed my life. I have a tendency to mentally prepare for things and attempt to process them way ahead of time, and even though this moment was WAY ahead of time (a year and six months, to be exact), I was nervous to move away from home. I wrote a draft of Over the Moon that just didn’t feel right, but then the pandemic happened, so naturally it fell back on the shelf. It wasn’t until spring of 2021 that I decided to revisit it as my last film of childhood and a way to process my years spent at home and the films I’ve made within them. When I visited the East Coast in April, I finally was able to fill in the gaps of what I felt was missing in the story, and I finished the last draft on the airplane back to LA. A lot of Over the Moon stemmed from the curiosity of where the line is drawn between childhood and adolescence, and how perception of these two periods change as one moves into adulthood. I learned so much about this question upon making the film, and I think the knowledge I gained was exactly what I needed to guide me into this next chapter.

What are the other mediums you like to express yourself in?

I love multimedia elements of filmmaking including claymation, digital animation, watercolor, puppetry, all those things on their own as well. I love to scrapbook and carry a little journal around with me everywhere to store trash that I like and want to keep. I tried to make music once, which didn’t quite stick, but growing up around music has really engrained a sense of rhythm that I’ve been able to carry into my filmmaking.

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You probably hear this a lot, but will there be a sequel to Bubblegum?

I really would hope to make one at some point in time, but as of now there is nothing specific in the works. Within the past year or so, I reflected a lot on that film and the impact that it had, and I came to the conclusion that if I could remake it, I would have had Indigo and Blossom end up together in the end. At this point however, I think I am actually satisfied with the way that BubbleGum ended.

It promoted the idea that sexuality is fluid and that it is okay to take baby steps towards finding the best way to label yourself. However, I am a strong believer that queer media needs more happy endings, and I would love to create a film of Indigo and Blossom ending up together to show anyone who resonates with them that they too are worthy of finding a happily ever after, something that is rarely shown in queer cinema. (I am also definitely dreaming about the cheesiest rom-com reunion of all time, but we shall see.)

What does being a queer filmmaker mean to you?

Being a queer filmmaker to me means being a queer person who likes making films. When I was younger, people perceived this label and identity as somehow political, and therefore I felt as if making queer films was somehow a political thing, which it definitely can be, but it also doesn’t have to be. The place I’m at now is simply wanting to make films about the things I experience, the people I love, and the ways in which I love, and it just also happens to be that I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community. However, I do think we are still in a state where queer representation is not where it should be, so the label of queer filmmaker is really important to me as I begin to venture into the industry.

How does it feel to have inspired so many people with your work?

There is definitely an element of fear that comes with having so many eyes on the things that I make, but having an audience of people who care about my work is such a gift. It pushes me to continue creating and questioning how my work impacts on a grander scale, and I have also just met the coolest and most talented people through sharing my films online. Loving this medium is one of the strongest things in my life, and I am so grateful for the ability to share that with other people and aid them in discovering their own love.

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