Youth for Understanding South Africa International Youth Exchange
Born in the wrong culture, by ES His name is Nick (the name is changed), he was born in 1994 in a small village on the outskirts of Mpumalanga. Nick is staying with his father, 2 sisters and 3 brothers on a small plot without electricity and running water. His mother passed away when he was still a little child, no one knows why. Originally they are Zulus. He speaks Siswati, Zulu, Sotho, Xhosa and English. The boy attends a high school in the same village that he was born in and still lives in. During my stay in this high school and village I tried to learn as much as possible about the culture and the traditions, thereby I noticed that Nick has got a really different opinion about his culture and country than most of the other inhabitants of the same village. First of all I asked him what do you like about your culture and your country? He answered that he likes that the old people get free grants from the government in order to feed their families, everyone is giving a portion of land to plough and harvest. Equality is really important since he is a little boy, Nick told me afterwards. In his culture he appreciates the traditional dresses and dances, all the different colors and dance styles. But when I asked him what he likes about his traditions, he couldn’t give me an answer. He told me the traditions and big parts of the culture are full of discrimination. He said when he was a little boy the elders always got most of the food and the best part of the chicken, children and women only got a little amount of food. Also the fact that a man can have as many wives as he wants to have is very wrong in his opinion. “Certain traditions and parts of the culture are against what I believe in, I believe in equality, everyone is supposed to have the same rights!”He also disagrees that when his brother dies he must take his wife as his own, that is compulsory. When he finishes school Nick only wants 1 wife and 2 children. I asked him why only 2 children, in your culture it is so common that you’ve got a big family. He explained that in case something happens to him or he looses his job, he can’t take care of the big family and he doesn’t want under any circumstances that his children suffer as a result. Education plays a very important role in his life. When I asked him what was the best thing that ever happened to him, he began to smile and told me that he once got an award in the primary school for the best learner in the whole school. He wants to finish school in a high level to become a dietician to help other people and to take care of his family with that money. He said I don’t want to become rich, I just don’t want to worry about money. He likes to go to school but just as many other teenagers have his own view on the educational system. Nick surprised me with a lot of his answers, because I didn’t meet lot of people with these opinions, especially not men. At the end I just asked a general question, what would you change if you would be a king? He replied: ”If I would be the king I would change the way people are treated in my culture. I would improve the village environment and education. I would stop the men from marring more than 1 wife and they should not have more than 4 children, so they could take care well of each child.” The days and conversations were really interesting for me, especially because I expected completely different answers, because most of the people make such a happy impression. But still one sentence will maybe stay forever in my mind, when he looked a bit sad to my face and said: “Listen, sometimes it seems like I’m born in the wrong place, when I am done with school I want to go to Port Elizabeth and study there, I want to leave this place and only come back to visit my family.”
9 Youth For Understanding South Africa Newsletter Cultural Exchange