Connection Over Perfection

Before I dreamt of being a photographer, motherhood was all I desired, even from a tender age. I longed to take care and nurture, often daydreaming how it would feel. Fast forward a few years, and here I am mothering four little ones of my very own. Just 6 months before this home bird married her adventuring husband we discovered it may be difficult to conceive, so these four are even more of a gift to us. All the daydreaming in the world couldn’t prepare me for the way I am deeply in love with these miraculous, chaotic beauties. I was equally unprepared for the exhaustion motherhood brings, at times consuming me like a piercing wind.

With cameras at our fingertips us mothers take endless photographs of our children desperately trying to freeze this time that is so fleeting. But we forget to get in the frame ourselves, worried we are looking too tired from that sleepless night or we’ve found getting back to our pre-children shape an uphill struggle. We tell ourselves we will get some photos once we feel better about the way we look and feel. These things won’t matter to you or, more importantly, to your children.

The images we capture of our children’s childhoods will shape how they remember. It’s the connection with them I want us to recollect. The way it feels to have our one year old son, Moses, give me the most precious cuddles by wrapping his arms around my neck. I want to remember the beauty of patience, comforting our four year old Teal, when she’s stepped out of her comfort zone. Saffron, our eldest, has the most captivating blue eyes and I long to capture the way they sparkle when she surprises herself after achieving something she thought was impossible in my memory forever. I want to remember how Stella, my mini me, loves on her siblings with such a tangible compassion.

There are two ways I get myself within that frame. First is using my cameras timer. This is something I want to experiment with more this summer, setting up while making memories. The other is to have annual photo sessions with a photographer you know will capture your family beyond just recording what they look like.

Rather than curating perfect memories through our photographs I want to encourage you to create a space where raw connections can be captured. Motherhood can be magically mundane at the same time as a wonderful whirlwind. The challenge is to be present, slow down and savour these moments so that the images we capture in this season become treasures, almost hierlooms, somehow slowing time itself down.

Get in that photo Mamas...x

words and photography by Mim Howell