> DATING season or even a lifetime of misery. On the other hand, you might be too rigid in your preferences and closing yourself off to some good options, and realizing that fact could help you open up to a wider variety of people. There are basically four areas we want you to examine in dating: 1. Some of your preferences might be too limiting, and you need to be more open. 2. Some preferences are more important than you might realize, and you should value them. 3. Some imperfections are minor, and you might have to learn to deal with them. 4. Some imperfections are major, and you should not ever have to live with them. They are totally off limits.
Common Interests Most strong relationships include at least some common interests. Common interests allow a couple to spend time together in pursuits they both enjoy. If you live for the outdoors, you probably do not want to get serious with someone who hates going outside and just wants to play with a computer all the time! Shared interests are very important. People who have little in common will ultimately not spend a lot of time together, or if they do, they won’t be doing what they enjoy. After all, you marry someone to be with them, and what better way to be with them than by doing something together you both love?
I was talking to a young man the other day about what he was looking for in someone to date or eventually marry. He had gotten so particular and perfectionistic that I told him he had basically eliminated the entire market! He wanted his future wife to be a lot of things that were really contradictory and rarely ever seen in the same person, like a hard-driver in business and a stayat-home mom type. He also had a lot of specific physical requirements that were unrealistic for anyone who did not airbrush themselves daily.
Common goals determine how you spend your life. Your goals will affect where you live, what career you choose, how you spend your time and money, and even how you develop your character and walk with God. Before you get serious with someone, you need to have a good idea of what direction you are going in, and you need to determine whether that person’s life is going in the same direction. For example, if you want to
What about preferences? Shouldn’t people have tastes and desires in what they are looking for in people to date? Sure you should. It is all part of knowing who you are and what you like and don’t like. But here is our message for you in this area: Know your tastes and what is important to you, but stay open and flexible in dating, for you never know what might happen.
Important Preferences On the other hand, some preferences are good to have. You will probably want to have someone who shares (1) common interests, (2) common goals, and (3) common values.
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Trinitarian Magazine Issue 4/2011