FACING THE
No-Baby Blues
After a decade of infertility treatments, multiple pregnancy losses, three failed adoptions and an ectopic pregnancy, Sandra Glahn understands the no-baby blues faced by childless couples.
“I think I just need to relax,” I told my ob/gyn after
getting pregnant” – I left his office and stayed away
my annual examination. “We’re putting in long
for another 18 months. “If God wants us to have
hours with our youth group, I work full-time, and my
kids,” we told ourselves, “He’ll make it happen.”
husband just finished seminary.” I had believed the myth that the cure for infertility is relaxing.
When we returned to the doctor, we began a journey which would take us through three years of no
“How long have you been trying?” he asked.
conceptions followed by eight early pregnancy losses and then three failed adoptions in our quest for a child.
“About 18 months.” He rolled closer and spoke gently, “No. Perhaps it’s time to ‘stop relaxing.’ We can try a
God’s grace and some information drove us forward.
few simple procedures; the pace is up to you.”
First, we learned that infertility is usually a symptom that something is physically wrong. Perhaps there’s
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I did not know then that I had already met the
a thyroid problem or an infection. In 95 percent of
textbook definition of infertility: the inability
cases, doctors find a diagnosable medical problem.
to conceive or carry to term after one year of
Second, we learned that for those entering medical
unprotected intercourse. (Some patients say it’s also
treatment, about 65 percent go on to give birth;
the chance to determine mood by a thermometer,
for those avoiding treatment, the number drops
hear every home remedy imaginable, and endure
drastically. Medicine and faith do not have to be
bankruptcy in injectable form.)
mutually exclusive.
Since I cringed at the idea of joining the one in
So we started the process of Love Life by Calendar
six Americans of childbearing age with fertility
Rule (which brought about as much joy as mopping
problems – people I considered “obsessed with
floors). A few times we had to “get together,” then