College Tribune | January 20th 2009
News Regulars
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THE
M O D N REAVIEW
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When the fearsome Cuchulainn was transformed by the rage of battle into a Celtic Incredible Hulk, according to Irish mythology, the warrior’s intensity melted snow for 30 feet around him. Similar, wondrous acts can be found on a typical weekend out in Dundalk town centre. Dundalk, or ‘the touwn’, as the locals affectionately refer to it, is a designated ecotown. A great big turbine sits proudly in the midst of Dundalk IT, but oddly, in first few months, it’s great Goliath-like blades stayed idle. Did the winds of the weather gods not blow? Was their a bizzare technical fault the good people of the IT couldn’t solve. Yes, actually, they forgot to plug the thing in. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the concept, the roadmap from which we must follow. This is a look into our future, the way we must live when the oil stops flowing. It is a town of architecture, something that is enjoyed by the inhabitants. Indeed a bronze statue on the Main Street has been labelled ‘the Ovaries’, such that normal conversation can now include - “where will I meet ya?” “oh, at the ovaries”. Dundalk has a long and varied
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DUNDALK
list of favourite sons and daughters. One of it’s main bonus’ is it’s the birthplace of those beautiful Corrs Sisters. Sadly, all this is ruined, since it is also the place of birth of that world government fearing, bizarrely be speckled James Steven Ignatius Corr, or Jim. He’s a prat. Dundalk also gave us Ireland’s last home grown manager, Steve ‘I’m da gaphpher’, Staunton. Now Staunton was a good, if inconsistent defender. His reputation, and sadly the reputation of his fellow Dundalkians was sullied somewhat after his disastrous tenure in charge of the national team. Perhaps it is harsh to blame the town as well, well tough. Dundalk does have its unusual, but endearing quirks. Take Amber nightclub on a given night. The ladies, following a couple of drinks may meet that special someone on the dance floor. Naturally, after some special moments of spontaneous scorage, they will shift away for a split second, look deeply into their partners eyes, produce two fingers from either hand to help produce an ear shatteringly, window wobblingly loud whistle. Now there’s something to make you Louth and Proud.
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