Dare to Thrive November 2018 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

COACHING & BUSINESS TOOLS Three Awesome Ways to Show Your Unique You Dare to THRIVE! Fixed-Schedule Productivity

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INSPIRATION & GROWTH Listen for Your True Calling Four Guiding Touchstones When It’s Soup The Best Rejection Breathing in the Present Moment The 7 Deadly Virtues

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FEED YOUR SPIRIT The Circle of Life

PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Jowanna Daley, Terez Hartmann, Dr. Bryan Hawly, Noelle Sterne, Ph.D., Jo Mooy, Alan Cohen, Ashar Mohammed, Mary Boutieller, Gregg Sanderson, Juliette Jones

We believe that self-employment is the ultimate form of empowerment. Our mission is to bring you guests whose powerful entrepreneurship stories and real-world advice will give you the inspiration and tools to create a business and life that you love.

Meet the first 4 guests (ourselves included)!!

Listen on our website or your favorite podcast app or watch the video version on our YouTube channel.

Three Awesome Ways to Show Your Unique You

Learn to promote YOU as part of your brand. by Jowanna Daley Listen up entrepreneurs: You need to show consumers your unique you! Why? Because you are the essential piece of your business brand. Even the big corporations are making a shift in brand promotion. People (not companies) influence consumer purchases. (https://www.nielsen. com/us/en/press-room/2012/ nielsen-global-consumers-trustin-earned-advertising-grows.html) Showcasing your brand can be challenging; after all, how do you package something you live? You can communicate who you are through what you do, your expertise, and your educationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or you can show the community who you are. Here are three ways to promote the real you.

connected to the person? Share your passions no matter how weird they may seem to you. Think of something that sends your joy meter straight to the top or share a ritual you do before an event, bedtime, or early in the morning. My love for writeable surfaces fascinates people. I love writing on surfaces such as glass, mirrors, computer screens, and windows. If I had my way, my home and everything in it would be dry-erase friendly.

company.The human brain connects with what it touches and sees. Show your unique you in pictures. Display your personality, things you love, and your skills in your brand photos. People will remember you. Make sure your photos represent your authentic self.

SHARE YOUR GIFTS EVERY CHANCE YOU GET

No one can steal what is yours. When you use your talents for ulterior motives, it does not serve you or the world well. Share your gifts openly and with integrity. When you share, others share, which means your talents and skills expand. Secondly, you will increase your chances of earning a living with your gifts if you share them. Lastly, you improve your community and earn respect. Your personal brand should Have you ever discovered Consumers will trust YOU be your unique you on display. The you shared a quirk or ritual with more than they will your business. best person to promote your busisomeone? Did it make you feel Let them see the person behind the ness is YOU!

Yes, I am a bit obsessed; however, it allows people to see beyond what I do.

TAKE PERSONAL SHARE YOUR PASSIONS BRAND PHOTOS

The Daley Word with Jowanna Daley Jowanna is a business and personal coach, consultant, freelance blogger, and personal brand photographer. Jowanna uses her 20-plus years of business, information technology, business analysis, and project management experience to serve solopreneurs, microbusinesses, and professionals through consulting, coaching, training, and workshops. She is also a freelance blogger who serves corporate and non-corporate clients. Visit her website at https://jowannadaley.com/about/.

Dare to THRIVE!

To truly help others, you first must service YOUR spirit by being in a place where you can show up with clarity, focus, and excellence. By Terez Hartmann So many sources tell you—time and time again—that “Happiness is Your Birthright,” that you are supposed to be happy, and that you are even the most productive and of the greatest value to society when you feel good. But how the heck do you get to feeling groovy when it seems like the world around you is constantly tugging at your pant leg saying, “Help me! Help me! Save me! Save me!” How dare YOU have a happy moment or feel good when someone else is depressed, in peril, or in desperate need? When the voices shouting or crying the loudest are coming from the ones you love, and you’re willing to do practically anything to make things better, isn’t it in-

teresting to see that you just can’t seem to get depressed, angry, or sick enough to help them find their way once and for all? Yet, at the same time, you also know in your heart that when your family and true friends (or any human beings, for that matter) are operating from an emotionally healthy, aligned state of being, they would truly want you to THRIVE and would HATE the idea of you getting sick, destitute, and out of whack on THEIR account! So on that note… …Coaches, mentors, teachers, caregivers, parents, and friends: When you’ve done all you feel you can do to help another human being and have thrown your body, mind, career, relationships, and spirit out of balance for the umpteenth time, there comes

a moment when you decide, enough really IS enough.

It’s time for you to take your life back! ...but not just a miniscule, survival-based life; rather, THE life that made you decide to leave that perfectly cushy cloud in non-physical-land and crunch yourself into a dense and initially very squishy little body to brave the confines of time and space and allow you to: • Give birth to ideas, dreams, and goals, and then, day-by-day, step-by-step, marvel as one more piece of the puzzle falls into place until you witness yet another vision come to fruition!

• Enjoy being in a strong, healthy body equipped to savor the deliciousness of physical experience and the wonder of the sights, sounds, tastes, scents, sensations, and magnificent moments this life has to offer! • Feel tears of joy roll down your cheeks as your heart bursts open! • Hear the call of the open road, the trail, the waters, and then look to the sky to gaze upon new lands and breathlessly say, “wow!” • Experience those “butterflies,” feel sheer exhilaration, then shout, “yes!!!” at the rooftops. Jump, dance or fist pump, and crank up the car stereo and sing at the top of your lungs with the windows rolled because you just can’t hold back the music that is blasting in your soul! And because you knew you’d be sharing your 3-D reality with others, you also wanted to be a catalyst for THEIR joy, because when you get to see another sweet soul soar the party gets even bigger! But… …Nobody ever intended for others to miss out on the magic we came here to experience or to diminish ourselves for another. We would remind each other of the power and light we each hold and, “teach <each other> to fish” so that we all could eat for a lifetime. You each would not encourage your fellow traveler to make an idol or Source of YOU or have another depend on YOU for sustenance to then interfere with the other ever discovering her/his own strength and abilities; for you knew that by doing so, you would deprive your beloved of the exaltation

your work to be part of the journey of seeing another thrive, you will NEVER feel or be made less for it. If you are truly helping, you will know; for your body, mind, and spirit will fill you with energy, clear thoughts, and muspowerful resolve as the other aspects of You did not come here to ter your life continue to flourish. Be of service, but remember to hide, cower or block out first service YOUR spirit by being in a place your own light. where you can show up with clarity, focus, and excellence. When you’re with the ones you You did not come here to love, be 100 percent present, but remember be a slave to the world that no one who truly loves you will ever demand 100 percent of your LIFE. around you. Be an example of health, wealth, and happiness, so that others can see that it IS possible—and that it may also be posYou did not come here sible for THEM. Miserymaylovecompany,butjoyand to give up your precious clarity are the only company worth KEEPING. life so that you could teach others to give up The Bottom Line: A Message to Dare to THRIVE! their precious lives, so Helpers: Be a lighthouse, my friends—stand that they could teach firm on the solid foundation that is happy to YOUR being, then shine and let your others to give up their support fire burn with all your heart… precious lives… …and anyone and everyone who is open and willing to make their way safely ashore, will only thank you for being the beaYou came here to create, con you ARE. Dare to be happy. to challenge yourself, and Dare to THRIVE. to THRIVE… And watch how you CAN and WILL help others remember what it’s like to fully, …And so did the ones you love, truly, absolutely ALIVE. the ones your serve, and EVERY human being who draws breath upon this planet. It is time, dear, big-hearted coaches, friends and helpers, to get back to thriving and to remember that if it is of crashing and burning, but then finding her or his own fire and power within to rise out of the ashes—and stand in the knowing that SHE (or HE) did that!

Burn, baby burn!!!!

ALLOWING YOUR SUCCESS with Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: http://www.TerezFirewoman.com

Listen for Your True Calling

Photo Credit: Unsplash/William Bayreuther

If you are sensing an inner pulling, something that feels ancient within you calling to you, act upon it.

By Brian Hawley So here we are trying to decide what to do. We feel this inner pull toward something that makes us feel warm and passionate, something old within us that is being uncovered. Something that we feel connected to, and it makes us connected to others. Something that inspires us, wakes us up in the middle of the night, provides a feeling of urgency that we have to get it started now. But we hesitate, and question our inner calling, this inner pull. Why is this happening to me? Where is this coming from? Am I just making this up? We become doubtful about our feelings and our passion starts to die with every daily task we have to face. Then it happens again, like someone from beyond shouting at us: GET UP…DO THIS…THE TIME IS NOW. Our passion and curiosity is awakened once more. This time we start to take action, start to search for information from books, friends, the internet, anything that can help us start developing and manifesting this inner calling. Then we see this is going to take some time to develop and manifest. We have jobs, responsibilities, debts, and deadlines, everything we call life that is happening. We begin to question again. Will this support my family and me? What will others think? What if I fail? Will I get clients and, if so, where and how? Then we start doubting and put our calling off

for a while, as if something is going to automatically take action and manifest it. We start to overlook little synchronicities like repeating numbers, people coming into our lives, TV programs, radio songs, and all the other little signs. This cycle keeps repeating over and over until we are left feeling empty, like there is something we should be doing, always trying to scratch that itch. Until one day—after many years or decades of repeat cycles—we find ourselves in our final resting moments on this earth lying there in bed. Our body is worn and tired, we have raised a family, held a job, and had a home, and even a pet or two. But there was still that pulling that never got answered. You wonder “what if.” Could I have done more? Could I have helped more? What impact could I have made if I took a chance? As you drift off to sleep and start the journey back to where you came from, you suddenly become aware of spirits hovering about you. Now in your weary state you can start to make out words, and hear what they are saying: “Why didn’t you listen to us? We were there all the time sending you signs, pulling on your true heartstrings. We trusted you with our talents, we needed you to give these talents to the world, you were the only one that could express these talents; they were given to you upon incarnation, and this was your pact, your calling. Now it’s too late, our talents will never be

delivered to the world. The people you were meant to inspire can never blossom to become what they were meant to become, they will never inspire others to become what they were to become. All this because you were afraid to trust your passion and have faith in yourself and us. “Instead, you let something that is of this world, the false duties, something material, rule over your inner spirit of passion and purpose. You were worried about material failure, what others who would never understand your message would say, and you ignored those who were thirsty for your message. All of those people you found inspiring, those who showed light into your inner passion, you let the message stop with them, and you broke the ever-interconnecting web. Now you are old, frail, and dying, and the world will never know the music that you had inside of you.” If you are sensing an inner pulling, something that feels ancient within you, calling you to get a message out, start helping others, start counseling, teaching, writing, anything that feels right, ACT UPON IT. Don’t let anything that is in this world stop our true calling from coming forth from within you. There are people who you don’t know who are waiting to hear what you have to say, waiting for you to help them. They will show up; they will be there; they will seek you out. Only if you have the courage to follow you passion and set your talents free upon the Earth.

Listen for Your Calling with Dr. Bryan Hawley Dr. Bryan Hawley has served in the healthcare arena for over 30 years. He has owned several high-end clinics and has traveled all over the United States lecturing and teaching healthcare practitioners. He currently teaches guided meditations and energy work to clients all over the world. He lectures on topics such as neurogenesis, epigenetics, metacognition, and how we can literally reprogram our brains and create the lifestyle of our dreams. He is currently finishing two books on the subject which will be available in January 2019. Contact him at info@drbryanhawley.com.

Four Guiding Touchstones

By Noelle Sterne Ph.D

Learn to understand your own personal signals for knowing if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on track and making the decisions that are right for you. Photo Credit: Pixabay/Free-Photos

By Jo Mooy

I’d just come from lunch with a friend and had a fierce headache. I didn’t understand why. After all, wasn’t she my dear, longtime buddy? Hadn’t I been looking forward to our lunch to catch up, giggle, and break our perpetual diets? When I lay down on the sofa and tried to meditate, many feelings surfaced. I was surprised, even shocked at my anger, resentment, and disgust. Answers came. We’d both changed and grown in different ways. Vanished was that spark of commonality and camaraderie that had made our get-togethers so delightful. I was increasingly interested in the latest spiritual teachers, and she was increasingly interested in the latest Jimmy Choos. Before, too, we’d united in delicious criticisms of everyone we knew and saw. Now I strived to see the good in everyone, or at least not speak ill of them. Not that she wasn’t a generous and thoughtful person. She was. I still loved her insights and sense of humor. But . . . My strong negative physical and emotional reactions couldn’t be denied. If you’ve had similar experiences, notice them. Are you resenting your job, friends, goals, even leisure activities? Are you getting angry at yourself for choices you’ve made and wish you hadn’t? Listen. We have been given many touchstones that signal whether and when we’re on track. As we acknowledge the touchstones, heed them, and cultivate them, they’ll guide us unfailingly. Here are several important ones. Touchstone 1: The Appeal to Our Mind Our minds know. And protest, defend, reason, and rationalize for not doing what our infallible touchstones tell us. Jesus knew this. In the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas (verse 70), he cautions us to follow our innermost leanings and tells us why we should: • If you bring forth what is within you, what you have will save you. • If you do not bring forth that within you, what you do not bring forth will kill you. When we deny what’s in us, as spiritual teacher and author Bruce Wilkinson reminds us in The Dream Giver, we reap sadness, anger, regret, frustration, and illness. Wayne Dyer knows the cost of keeping our “music” unexpressed. He says Photo Credit: Pixabay/Free-Photos

in The Power of Intention (pp. 151-152): That silent inner knowing will never leave you alone. You may try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, but in honest, alone moments of contemplative communion with yourself, you sense the emptiness waiting for you to fill it with your music. Touchstone 2: The Message of Our Inner Voice Our Inner Voice is a flawless touchstone. The brilliant children’s author Shel Silverstein says it eloquently and simply in the widely reprinted poem “The Voice” from his book of poems, Falling Up (p. 38). Most of us taller children can surely benefit from its message:

There is a voice inside of you That whispers all day long, “I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.” No teacher, preacher, parent, friend Or wise man can decide What’s right for you just listen to The voice that speaks inside. Our Inner Voice can be accessed in many ways, as you may know—through quiet, meditation, in nature, or by just asking. And listening. You may hear words or sense feelings. You may notice a headline that’s the message you need or suddenly think of a song lyric that holds the answer. You may just feel impelled to act. Whenever you feel perplexed, stymied, revolted, fuming, uneasy, anxious, afraid, sick, or any other way that’s uncomfortable or unbearable, and your great and powerful rational mind isn’t coming up with decent answers, ask your

Inner Voice. The more you turn to it, the more you will rely on it, trust it, and recognize its wisdom. It’s always available and always on your side. It is your ultimate friend, ally, guide, and support and knows what is absolutely right for you. How does the Inner Voice feel? When I get quiet enough to ask in humility, the Voice is immediate. It’s certain, calm, strong, and nonjudgmental, ignoring all my “What ifs” and “Buts” and gives immediate solutions, like instantblooming flowers. Sometimes the answer is only a word. And that’s enough. Other times the answer floats in as a sentence, or trumpets as a declaration, or winds around as a mini-lecture. Whatever the response, the feelings with the Voice are unmistakable. Touchstone 3: The Messages of Our Body When I hear the Voice, I feel a lightness in my chest and sense of wellbeing. All fear in my stomach is gone, replaced by a blissful peace. And the reverse—when I’m not following the Inner Voice, my body tells me in other ways. In that lunch with my friend, my head ached fiercely. The minute after I agreed to critique a story as a “favor” and knew the story was really a mini-novel, I felt my stomach sink and breath choke up. When I met a neighbor I’ve never particularly liked and nodded to her dinner invitation, as soon as we parted my palms went cold. But when I had a conversation with a stranger in the parking lot, spilling over each other’s words about common spiritual interests, and made a coffee date, I glowed. When I was offered a dreamjob project editing a heartfelt memoir for a former client I’ve always been fond of, my heart beat faster with grateful anticipation. And when on a winter Saturday afternoon I decided not to attack chores that loitered on the to-do list for a year and instead write a section of my novel, my energy skyrocketed and I couldn’t wait to get my fingers tapping. Deepak Chopra in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success points us to the touchstone of our bodies. He suggests that we ask ourselves, “If I make this choice, what happens?” And he advises us to wait for the answer our body gives us. If it “sends a message of comfort,”

we’ve made the right choice. If our body “sends a message of discomfort,” we haven’t (p. 43). Touchstone 4: The Messages of Our Emotions Our emotions are also faultless guides to our best choices. My friend Shelley recently told me that a long-ago college acquaintance, Tanya, suddenly called and asked her to a party celebrating Tanya’s newly-awarded partnership in a law firm. With much stammering, Tanya lamented how busy she was and implored Shelley to organize the refreshments, commanding that they be “top of the line.” Shelley couldn’t even fathom why Tanya called her—they hadn’t been close in college—much less dropped this rather large task on her. But Shelley, slightly flattered, consented. The moment Shelley hung up, she said, she felt great anger. First it was at Tanya for her nerve and assumptions that Shelley would remember her and help her. Didn’t Tanya have other friends? With the raise of her partnership, couldn’t she afford a party planner? Then, more accurately, Shelley knew her anger was at herself. She had ignored her body. As soon as she’d heard Tanya’s directions and supposedly dire plight, Shelley had felt sick and mentally pulled away. These feelings, she confessed to me, should have been enough of a sign. But she

ignored them. Her emotions, and body, were telling her to say no, but she said yes. I’m glad to report that Shelley called Tanya back, wished her the best, and politely bowed out. After the conversation, Shelley felt another dramatic emotion—elation. “I stood up for myself and honored my real emotions.” You can probably recall similar or parallel experiences.

When you feel mad, sad, glad, or any other emotion, pay attention. Your emotions are telling you the truth. Touchstone-Focusing Questions Several touchstone questions can help us know whether we’ve made the decisions that keep us on track. Chopra in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (pp. 42-43) suggests we ask ourselves two questions for any choice: • “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” And he points out that in our hearts we already know. • “Will this choice that I’m making now bring happiness to me and

Trust Your Life Now with Noelle Sterne, Ph.D.

to those around me?” Again, we know quickly by listening inside. Combined with Chopra’s two questions above, others can help you ferret out and intuit your best choices to know if you’ve made the right decisions about any activity, task, or event: • Are you unaware of time passing when you’re engaged in the process or activity? • Are you unaware of your body during this time? • Do you feel completely immersed in the activity, even to not hearing doorbells or feeling hunger? • Do you feel a sense of joy and peace during the process? • Do you get annoyed at your body for becoming tired because you just want to keep going? • When you leave the activity, do you have a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment? • Are you eager to get to it very soon again? Later tonight? Early tomorrow? With such questions that help you know whether you’re “in the flow,” learn your own mind-Inner Voice-bodyemotions touchstones for straying or staying on track. As you do, you will make many more choices more quickly that are right for you. You’ll be happier, more fulfilled, and more giving to others in the right ways at the right times that bless you both.

By Jo Mooy

Noelle Sterne, Ph.D. (Columbia University), author, mainstream and academic editor, writing coach, workshop leader, and spiritual counselor, has published over 400 writing craft and spiritual pieces, personal and academic essays, poems, and fiction in print and online periodicals and blog sites. Publications include Author Magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children’s Book Insider, Funds for Writers, InnerSelf, Inside Higher Ed, New Age Journal, Ruminate, Thesis Whisperer, Transformation Magazine, Textbook and Academic Authors Association Blog, Two Drops of Ink, Unity Magazine, The Writer, and Writer’s Digest. In Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), Noelle helps readers release regrets and reach lifelong yearnings. In Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015) she helps doctoral candidates complete their degrees. Noelle is finally rounding the completion corner of her first novel. For more, see Noelle’s website: http://www.trustyourlifenow.com. Noelle’s webinar on writing appears in the Writing Gym of Textbook and Academic Authors Association: ”Get Started, Continue Your Draft, and Finish!” (Click Here)

When It’s Soup

Sometimes difficult and emotional topics need to be added to a conversation slowly and one-by-one—just like soup ingredients— for the best chance of a positive outcome. By Jo Mooy What is soup? Must it be a liquid? How thick? What goes into it? What doesn’t? Is it served in a bowl or cup? Is there a recipe or a family history with the soup? If it’s a legacy soup, can it be altered in any way? Is it only served on special occasions? How do you know when it’s soup? These aren’t silly or idle philosophical questions. They’re actual questions an Italian game designer had to answer in order to “teleport the concept of soup” to a future society in a digital space game.

Soup sounds like one of the easiest culinary dishes to make. But it isn’t. Soup can come with lots of psychological baggage and history, none of which can be teleported into space. Soup can dredge up rooted feelings and emotions—especially if the recipe came from your long-gone grandmother, who passed it to your mother, who passed it to you. Memories can surface of watching grannie or mom cooking the soup all day long. Add a holiday like Thanksgiving into the mix, and the history of that special soup can be exhausting to think about when you’re the soup lineage holder, and it’s your turn to make it.

One Thanksgiving my sister and I were making the family soup. We began with the chicken stock. In my grandmother’s day, she put a whole chicken in a pot along with a few small onions, carrots, and spices. It cooked for hours until the chicken fell off the bone and was scooped away for stuffing. My grandmother said the stock needed to be made from the chicken bones till they disintegrated. The four cans of College Inn Chicken Stock that we dumped into the big pot that day was surely a sacrilege. As we chopped, diced, and blended the various ingredients from the recipe (the College Inn simmering behind us as a betrayal of our heritage), the conversation eased into various family topics. The most important was mom was getting older. She lived too far away from my sister and needed care. We began charting a plan on how to mention it to mom and gently edge her in the direction of moving. Our mother comes from a long line of formidable women with strong opinions, so budging her out of her home would not be easy. My sister assured me it could be managed. It’s sort of like cooking this soup she said. You start slowly with a base and let it simmer a while. Then you begin adding different ingredients. You can’t add all the ingredients at the same time or they’ll turn to mush. The ones that take the longest to cook go in first. And the spices have to enhance the soup, not overwhelm it. The conversation with mom had to be discussed slowly and carefully. New topics (just like the soup ingredients) had to be added one by one. Too many spices (like emotions in the con-

versation) could ruin the soup and derail the move plans. I asked my sister “How will we know when to broach the subject with mom?” She said, “When it’s soup.” I had to think about that a while. We eased into the conversation with mom that Thanksgiving, turning the heat up or down on her different concerns as we went along. We talked with her while cooking the soup, using it as a catalyst as well as a distraction. The soup ingredients and the move topics simmered one by one. After a lengthy discussion, and while the soup’s aroma surrounded us, mom surprised us by saying she’d give the move some thought. Eventually she did more than that. Living more than an hour away, she realized she needed help and it was the right decision for her to live closer to my sister. She sold her house and bought a new, smaller cottage that suited her well. She made new friends, found a new church, and continued to celebrate Thanksgiving with all of us and the family soup until her death in 2005. Every Thanksgiving I think of the soup. It has a revered spot in our dinner menu and in our lineage. Years ago I turned the recipe over to my daughter— along with the College Inn shortcut. There’s no doubt my grandmother would enjoy watching her greatgrandsons clamoring for the family soup before the big dinner. Every Thanksgiving I also think about how we asked mom to move. My sister was right about how the conversation would go. She said the soup was ready “When it’s Soup” and not before. Mom moved because she too realized when it was soup.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

The Best Rejection

Photo Credit: Pixabay/PDPics

By Alan Cohen

Any time we believe a teacher or guru can give us what we cannot give ourselves we are disempowered. When composer George Gershwin was developing his career, he contacted his esteemed role model Maurice Ravel and asked if Ravel would take him on as a student. Ravel, familiar with Gershwin’s work, rejected him, replying, “Why become a second-rate Ravel when you are already a first-rate Gershwin?” A true teacher does not inculcate students to replicate the teacher, but instead inspires students to discover their own greatness and bring it forth. It is said, “A true teacher makes himself progressively more unnecessary.” The word “education” derives from the Latin educare, “to draw forth from within.” In many ways modern education, by contrast, seeks to “pound in from without.” Certainly we can learn facts and glean guidance from experts. What we do with those facts and guidance is an inside job that creates results unique to ourselves in all the universe. A friend of mine was studying with a brilliant Shaman in New Mexico. One day she asked him, “How can I be more like you?” He replied, “The way to be more like me is to be more like you.” The message was that the shaman’s talents sprang from tapping into his authentic self and letting it shine. The student’s talents would spring from her allowing her authentic self to shine. Emerson said, “Imitation is suicide.” You can follow in someone else’s footsteps, but then you must find and walk your own path. My mentor said, “The student should strive to devour the teacher.” A student should absorb all that the teacher has to offer, and then go be-

yond the teacher. To simply replicate a teacher’s method or material is an insult to the teacher and the student. I am always excited to hear when one of my students takes what I have taught her, adds to it, and develops her own unique curriculum incorporating my teachings with her own insights. I take it as a compliment if a student goes beyond what I have taught. I have sought to stand on the shoulders of my teachers, and I seek for my students to stand on mine. The word “guru” is spelled. G.U.R.U.: “Gee, you are you.” The same God that guides a guru guides you. Ram Dass’s guru Neem Karoli Baba told him, “Guru, God, and Self are one.” This could be the meditation of a lifetime! God lives in all equally. Some people realize this more than others, which qualifies them to be a guru. If they truly know this, they direct you to the God within you. Gurus sit beside a river giving or selling water. The limited guru tells you, “I am the source of water. If you want more, come back and get it from me.” The unlimited guru takes you by the hand and guides you to the river so you can draw it forth in infinite supply for yourself. God does not live only in an exterior person. Those who believe they are God and others are not have missed the point. Those who believe that God lives in others but not themselves have also missed the point. To know God is to know the God in everyone. A woman once wrote to me to ask me to certify her to teach a course based on one of my books. “Which book would you like to teach?” I asked her.

“Dare to be Yourself,” she replied. I told her, “I cannot certify you to be yourself or to teach others to be themselves. Your real certification to teach the course is to be yourself. You teach by model far more than words.” I have learned a great deal about humility by watching the spiritual guide Bashar coach his students. Bashar never accepts credit for a student’s insight or advancement. He always reflects a compliment and gives credit to the student. When a student tells him, “Thank you for giving me a powerful insight,” Bashar replies, “Thank you for opening to recognize the insight.” Or the student reports, “You really touched my heart.” Bashar answers, “You were open and ready to touch your own heart.” Teachers who empower their students, rather than taking students’ power unto themselves, are true teachers. If you are rejected by a teacher, employer, or lover, rejoice. You have most likely given your power away to that entity—an unhealthy act. Any time you believe someone can give you what you cannot give yourself you disempower yourself. The person who rejected you is redirecting you, either to another place that is better for you, or to the ultimate teacher, employer, or lover—yourself. George Gershwin went on to become one of the most popular and beloved composers of the twentieth century. He achieved this status without studying with Ravel, who, in rejecting Gershwin from leaning on him, and inspiring Gershwin to follow his own course, turned out to be the best teacher Gershwin ever had.

Get Real with Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the new bestselling The Tao Made Easy: Timeless Wisdom to Navigate a Changing World. Join Alan in Hawaii this December 2-7 for his life-changing seminar Transformer Training to develop your skills and/or career as a teacher, healer, or leader. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.alancohen.com.

Fixed-Schedule Productivity

By Ashar Mohammed

By Alan Cohen

I should have an overwhelming, Maloxguzzling, stress-saturated schedule. Here’s why: I’m a graduate student in a demanding program. I’m working on several research papers while also attempting to nail down some key ideas for my dissertation. I’m “TAing” and taking courses. I maintain this blog. I’m a staff writer for Flak Magazine. And to keep things interesting, I’m working on background research for a potential new book project. For some reason it’s not…

Here is my actual schedule. I work: • From 9 to 5 on weekdays. • In the morning on Sunday. That’s it. Unless I’m bored, I have no need to even turn on a computer after 5 during the week or any time on Saturday. I fill these times, instead, doing, well, whatever I want.

How do I balance an ambitious workload with an ambitiously sparse schedule? It’s a simple idea I call fixed-schedule productivity.

The system work as follows:

1) Choose a schedule of work hours that you think provides the ideal balance of effort and relaxation. 2) Do whatever it takes to avoid violating this schedule.

This sounds simple. But think about it for a moment. Satisfying rule 2 is not easy. If you took your current projects, obligations, and work habits, you’d probably fall well short of satisfying your ideal work

schedule. Here’s a simple truth: to stick to your ideal schedule will require some drastic actions. For example, you may have to: • Dramatically cut back on the number of projects you are working on. • Ruthlessly cull inefficient habits from your daily schedule. • Risk mildly annoying or upsetting some people in exchange for large gains in time freedom. • Stop procrastinating. In the abstract, these all seem like hard things to do. But when you have the focus of a specific goal—“I do not want to work past 5 on weekdays!”—you’d be surprised by how much easier it becomes deploy these strategies in your daily life. Let’s look at an example…

Case Study: My Schedule

My schedule provides a good case study. To reach my relatively small work hour limit, I have to be careful with how I go about my day. I see enough bleary-eyed insomniacs around here to know how easy it is to slip into a noon to 3 a.m. routine (the infamous “MIT cycle.”) Here are some of the techniques I regularly use to remain within the confines of my fixed schedule:

I serialize my projects.

I keep two project queues—one from my student projects and one for my writing projects. At any one moment I’m only working on the top project from each queue. When I finish, I move on to the next. This focus lets me churn out quality results without the wasted time of constantly dancing back and forth between multiple efforts.

I’m ultra-clear about when to expect results from me.

And it’s not always soon. If someone slips something onto my queue, I make an honest evaluation of when it will percolate to the top. I communicate this date. Then I make it happen when the time comes. You can get away with telling people to expect a result a long time in the future, if—and this is a big if—you actually deliver when promised.

If you don’t do this, you let the never-ending stream of work push you around like a bully. I refuse.

If my queue is too crowded for a potential project to get done in time, I turn it down.

schedules for regular work makes it easier to tackle the non-regular projects. It also prevents schedulebusting pile-ups.

I drop projects and quit.

I start early.

If a project gets out of control, and starts to sap too much time from my schedule: I drop it. If something demonstrably more important comes along, and it conflicts with something else in my queue, I drop the less important project. If an obligation is taking up too much time: I quit. Here’s a secret: no one really cares what you do on the small scale. In the end, you’re judged on your large-scale list of important completions.

I’m not available.

I often work in hidden nooks of the various libraries on campus. I check and respond to work email only a few times a day. People have to wait for responses from me. It’s often hard to find me. Sometimes they get upset at first. But they don’t really need immediate access. And I will always respond within a reasonable timeframe and get them what they need. So they adjust. And I get things done.

I batch and habitatize.

Any regularly occurring work gets turned into a habit—something I do at a fixed time on a fixed date. For example, I write blog posts on Sunday morning. I do reading for my seminar on Friday and Monday mornings, etc. Habit-based

Sometimes real early. On certain projects that I know are important, I don’t tolerate procrastination. It doesn’t interest me. If I need to start something 2 or 3 weeks in advance so that my queue proceeds as needed, I do so.

Why This Works

You could fill any arbitrary number of hours with what feels to be productive work. Between email, and “crucial” web surfing, and to-do lists that, in the age of David Allen, grow to lengths that rival the bible, there is always something you could be doing. At some point, however, you have to put a stake in the ground and say: I know I have a never-ending stream of work, but this is when I’m going to face it. If you don’t do this, you let the never-ending stream of work push you around like a bully. It will force you into tiring, inefficient schedules. And you’ll end up more stressed and no more accomplished. Fix the schedule you want. Then make everything else fit around your needs. Be flexible. Be efficient. If you can’t make it fit: change your work. But in the end, don’t compromise. No one really cares about your schedule except for you. So make it right.

Pursue Your Freedom with Ashar Mohammed Ashar Mohammed is Nutritionist, Networking Business Coach, NLP Practitioner, Life Coach, and the author of Home Work Out Bible and Healthy Eating. After earning a MBA, Ashar worked in business for his family and on his own for 13 years, until becoming a coach in 2015. Now pursuing his true passion, Ashar has helped thousands of people around the world to achieve their freedom—freedom from disease, freedom of time, and travel and financial freedom. For more information, visit his blog at ashardxn.blogspot.se.

ment

Breathing in the Present Mo-

By Mary Boutillier

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Robin Mathlener

Welcome to this amazing, unrepeatable, unique, and unfinished day—to this very present moment where everything, at least right now, is okay and as it should be. Take a brief moment to feel your breath—the inhale, the nanosecond between inhale and exhale, the exhale, and the pause in between. How does it feel to follow your breath—maybe noticing the temperature of the air as it moves in through your nose and out again, its depth or shallowness, ease or struggle? This thing—our breath—that we often take for granted, is something we don’t have to think about or work particularly hard at, most of the time. Yet there is another aspect to the breath that we rarely contemplate. It’s the tiny little death that each cycle of breath represents. Each time we take a breath, we don’t know for sure if it could be our last. And not only do we not know, but we don’t want to know! Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said this:

“Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.” As humans, we have this amazing ability to know for sure that some day we will die but then act as if it will never happen. So we continue with our routines; we wait for the perfect time to do or say something, we go on about our lives as if nothing will ever happen to us and we’ll always have the time to do the thing that we should/must/need/want to do. Recently I spoke with a friend whose sister passed away. She said that she knew her sister was sick and was mak-

ing plans to go see her, but her sister insisted that she was getting better and that there was plenty of time to visit. After some debate, my friend made plans anyway, got on a plane and flew across the country—arriving just hours after her sister passed away. As I spoke with her on the phone, she talked about not getting to see her sister one last time, about not being able to reminisce or hold her hand. Although there is no changing what already transpired, my friend’s heavy heart still wishes it were different. Just two days ago, I walked through a cemetery (trust me, I don’t do that very often!) and looked at some of the grave markers—names, dates, relationships—and I jokingly said to my husband something that we often hear: “Well, no one’s getting out of here alive.” Then I thought of squabbles with family members, the seriousness with which I take most things, the recent gossip I participated in, the hurt feelings, the love, the meaning and depth and breadth of this life… I squeezed my husband’s hand a little tighter and told him I loved him. I watched two geese fly overhead—mated for life, and thought of love’s example and the simplicity of kindness and the ups and downs of this really awesome life. Many of us have privilege beyond our wildest dreams, we have relationships we cherish, opportunities some can only wish for; and yet we stick our heads in our cell phones and our routines and rarely look up. We think we have time to let go of grievances, to tell someone how we feel, to ask forgiveness, and to seek joy and honesty and passion. But the truth is, we don’t really know for sure, do we? Today I walked through the woods and took a purposeful, deep breath. I thought about how lucky I was to be able

to take another breath…and then another. I looked around at the trees, some canyons, read plaques about the history of the area’s people; and paused to take in the path of my life. Apple CEO Steve Jobs once said,

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma— which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” According to Steve’s sister, Mona Simpson, his final words were: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.” These words aren’t meant to depress us, but to give us permission (and maybe a little nudge) to live while we are alive. If you can do it, don’t wait until tomorrow or the next day to say what’s in your heart, to give someone a hug, to make that phone call, to see the place that’s on your bucket list. Be willing to see the other side, the other point of view, the hope and possibility in another new day. And then remember, in this very present moment, everything is okay.

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Jeffrey-Hamilton

The 7 Deadly Virtues

PART 1 “Therefore, seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.” - A Course In Miracles By Gregg Sanderson Remember our new paradigm, Stimulus>BS>Response. We’ve shown how BS (your Belief System) is the only cause of unhappiness—the BS in the mind of the beholder. Some positive actions get misused in a futile attempt to fix the stimulus instead of your own BS. I call them the Seven Deadly Virtues.

COMMUNICATION Good communication does not

Photo Unsplash/Bruce Mars Photo Credit: Pixabay/Pexels cause aCredit: happy relationship; it’s a symp-

tom. When you have better BS, you can accept and communicate anything clearly and without upset. When my oldest was but a young’n, I learned about “I” messages from a popular parenting book. The idea (as I see it now) was to pass responsibility for my feelings on to the unsuspecting child. “I feel sad when you don’t eat your gruel.” “I feel angry when you bite the dog,” etc., etc. That isn’t communication, it’s ma-

nipulation. It didn’t work because, when we weren’t looking, he read the book too. When we tried it, he responded with, “Are you sending me an “I” message?” We immediately enrolled him in the gifted program. The theory behind the “I” message is, when you find out what I don’t like, you’ll stop doing it, and vice versa. We’ll scatter metaphoric eggshells all over our relationship, then tread carefully. Of course, communication is im-

portant in all human relationships. It’s always better without a hidden agenda.

COMMITMENT If I can only get you to commit to

do what I want you to do, I can blame you when you don’t do it. Then, if you betray my trust, it’ll be your fault. I have a new club to pound you with. Now my hurt is justified! Hooray! I don’t have to look at my own BS anymore. After all, you made a commitment. Maybe I can even make you feel guilty so you won’t repeat the offense. Do I need to tell you that this is a misuse of commitment? Of course it is. Notice that the people who extol it as a virtue often want you to commit to something for them. Of course life works better if people do what they say they’ll do. But it doesn’t work so well if you have to force the promise. For happy relationships, commitment can only be offered, never demanded.

TRUSTTrust is the foundation of every

relationship, and to be happy we must trust. Trust friends and loved ones, and be worthy of the trust of others. It’s the foundation of a happy marriage, so they tell us. Who’s “they”? Hmmm. The problem is that we put our trust in people and entities to do something, rather than to be. Most people do what they usually do. Anything more than that is a bonus. When you trust somebody to do something, you set yourself up for disappointment. The time may come when they won’t do it. It’s just part of being an inconsistent human.

If people don’t do what you expect them to do, it’s up to you to change the BS that causes your upset. You can always trust them to be the way they are.

CONSIDERATION Who in the world would ever

favor being inconsiderate? Nobody, of course, but here’s another misleading “virtue.” Surely, you want to be considerate of other people’s time and to let them know when a commitment changes. That is not the consideration I’m talking about here. That’s an important way to operate that helps everything work better.

Suppose I ask you to suppress yourself in some way out of consideration for my feelings. It’s another way to say “Shape up so I won’t have to look at my own BS.” A daytime TV talk show made a strong impression on me some years ago. A member of the audience remarked, “If my daughter ever got into trouble, I hope she’d be considerate enough not to tell me about it.” That sure has the makings of a loving family, doesn’t it? I wonder what ever happened to her. Of course you can still do something nice for someone you love. The difference is that it’s your choice, not somebody else’s demand. The same rule applies to another of the deadly virtues:

ASSERTIVENESS My dictionary defines assertiveness as “confident and forceful behavior.” It’s the forceful part that confuses the issue. Within any act of force in human relationships lies the potential for rebellion. Force is a no-no when it comes to personal happiness. Confidence is just fine. When you are confident with better BS, you can ask for what you want without fear. Your BS says it’s OK whether you get it or not, so you’ll never project those needy vibes. Many of the pundits of pop culture tell us to be assertive. There’s no doubt you get more of what you want when you ask for it. There’s value to assertiveness, but like all the rest, it often gets carried too far. What’s too far? How about the attitude of “I will fix you so my life will be better.” Many of the old human potential movements pushed this concept beyond all reasonable bounds. I had a client who told me her fiancé announced that he was her “trainer.” That’s not taking responsibility. It’s just a poor rationalization for bullying. Dominating another has nothing to do with being responsible for yourself. Yes, assertiveness is a virtue, but not when you use it to blame someone else for the way you feel. They’re your feelings, and you’re the only one who can handle them with better BS. Ken Keyes says, “Ask for what you want. Take what you get, and work on the difference. Tune in next month for the rest of those pesky Deadly Virtues. Can you guess what they are?

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.

The Circle of Life

To resolve our human and environmental problems, we must adopt a holistic awareness that all of life is interconnected and interdependent. By Juliette Jones It’s becoming obvious that we live in unprecedented times, and a palpable undercurrent of anxiety is evident within the human population. On one level, we have reached a tipping point where many people are collectively realizing a wide range of disturbing symptoms brought about by the radical destruction of our environment. And these symptoms are not just confined to climate change; they also reflect widespread human ethical and cultural disintegration.

Overall, the complex nature in which we are embedded in our environment is impossible to fully understand at a conscious level.

We must expand to a holistic awareness that all of life is interconnected and interdependent—and we must acknowledge that humankind is a part of nature’s circle of life. Dr. Stephan A. Schwartz, a respected scientist, archaeologi-

cal researcher, remote viewer and Edgar Cayce scholar, advocates a “strategy of being-ness” as effective in supporting one’s own individual life force and in becoming a change agent for the movement of human society in a life-giving direction. Driven by concern over climate change—which I believe holds the potential to destroy civilization—I have been focused on how nonlocal consciousness plays a role in social systems, and how individuals and small groups can change the arc of history and bring our world into a full circle of well-being. The Marriage of Consciousness and Science

Truly incorporating consciousness into science is the only way we are going to develop the strategies and technologies to meet challenges such as climate change and save our planet. In his book 8 Laws of Change: How to be an Agent of Personal and Social Transformation, Dr. Schwartz reveals how individual choices based on integrity and intention— a strategy so subtle it’s not apt not to be taken seriously—can result in lasting transformation. This happens when we evolve to realize the non-physiological component of change, namely that the essence of our being lies in the nonlocal, which is both spiritual and divine, which links us to the matrix of earthly life.

It might be that climate change is an evolutionary driver behind consciousness evolution, forcing a breakout from inadequate material explanations for our relationship both to and within physical reality. Dr. Stanislav Grof, eminent psychiatrist and author of When the Impossible Happens, points out there are currently drastic and far-reaching new insights taking place regarding the nature of nonlocal consciousness and its relationship to matter. As science moves forward and evolves beyond the threedimensional doctrine of physicalism, a revolutionary transformation can take place in the way humans see themselves, how we live our lives, and how we conduct our businesses. “Physicalism is the doctrine that the real world consists simply of the physical world. 31

Its close cousin is materialism, the creed that nothing exists except matter and its movement and modifications, as well as the doctrine that consciousness and will are wholly due to material agency,” according to the New Oxford American Dictionary. Dr. Grof asserts that researchers have proven consciousness can and does exist outside of the body and after death, and points to the fact that most people, including scientists, fail to realize there is absolutely no proof that consciousness is produced in the brain or by the brain. “Such a deduction would be tantamount to the conclusion that the TV program is generated in the TV set because there is a close connection between the functioning and malfunctioning of its components and quality of picture,” he postulates. “Consciousness precedes being, not the other way around,” asserts Vaclav Havel, first President of the Czech Republic. The evidence favoring Havel’s nonlocal view of consciousness as transcending physicalism is enormous, and it signals that the spell of physicalism is waning. Consciousness is just as real as material phenomena, and, in my own view, the

agency of our material experience. According to Dr. Carl Jung,

“The decisive question for man is, ‘Are we related to something infinite, or not?’”

But in our present day, this question is more urgent and brought about by evolutionary necessity. Jung added, “As a doctor, I make every effort to strengthen the belief in immortality.” No doubt, Jung realized the power of this truth in supporting the health of the individual, and—when applied to the collective—human society. Understanding “Nonlocality”

The nonlocal domain deals with universal intelligence, consciousness, and pure potentiality. Nonlocality is a concept that physicists apply to a class of events whose nature relates to the speed of light. Physicist Nick Herbert explains nonlocality as follows: “A nonlocal connection links up one location with another without crossing space, without decay, and

without delay.” In other words, nonlocality is immediate, unmitigated with respect to distance and instantaneous, having characteristics attributed to certain transpersonal states of consciousness. So can anyone access nonlocal consciousness? It would appear that anyone can since we are all part of it. Genius has always given recognition to this capacity. As we open the door to realize the transcendent within ourselves as foundational, we move into a heretofore-unknown sense of wholeness and connectivity, ability to self-heal, powerful confidence in problem solving, and other gifts bestowed by profound creativity, clarity, and inner guidance. As Dr. Larry Dossey, M.D., points out: “The most urgent issue we humans face is how we conceive ourselves, whether as complex lumps of matter guided by the so-called blind, meaningless laws of nature, or as creatures who, although physical, are also imbued with something more—consciousness, mind, will, choice, purpose, direction, meaning, and spirituality, that difficult-to-define quality that says we are connected with something that transcends our individual self and ego.

“Every decision we make is influenced by how we answer this great question: Who are we?”

Mind. Body. SPirit. with Juliette Gay Jones

Juliette Gay Jones grew up in Michigan where she knew every tree, rock, animal and flower in the universe of the family backyard. As a writer, public speaker, New Thought Minister and clinically certified spiritual counselor serving hospice for over 20 years, she exercises her passion for research and progressive self-realization. A strong interest in the magic of theatrical arts eventually led to a Master of Fine Arts degree from Michigan State University. “The stage is a place where the invisible can appear.” She also holds a Ph.D. in Pastoral Counseling. Contact her at bodymindspiritconnection@gmail.com. 32

Meet the first 4 guests (ourselves included)!!

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