5 minute read

In Conversation With: Vashti Whitfield

VASHTI WHITFIELD

FOUNDER, MAYBE MCQUEEN

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EXECUTIVE COACH | FACILITATOR | SPEAKER

[TLSE] I KNOW YOU AS A FEARLESS LEADER, A SEEKER OF TRUTH WITH A FILTHY SENSE OF HUMOUR, AND AN EXTRAORDINARY MOTHER… DESCRIBE TO ME, WHO VASHTI IS IN 2018.. AND WHAT LIFE LOOKS LIKE TODAY.

My intention these days, which differs from how I have historically run the show, is my ever determined desire to integrate my life, so that my work, time with my cubs (my kids) and what I love most in life, are all rolled into one. My time is currently split as a facilitator, an executive coach and as a speaker - or as a conversationalist, as I like to call myself. I work in five very distinct areas - life, resilience, leadership and legacy. The fifth is the area that people find the hardest to wrap their heads around, and that is the evocative area of death - grief and loss. It’s an area that I am absolutely passionate about re – educating people around - and as strange as it may sound – is a topic that when opened up, in and out of context, has the ability to instantly create clarity, opportunity and a fearlessness that the usual human ego is unable to access without a larger lead up.

As you can hear I’m passionate about turning what we fear most into a catalyst for growth and personal legacy. At heart I am a creative, so whatever hat I am wearing it is most often delivered and facilitated in a fairly unconventional way, which along with my ‘unusual’ humour, promises an experience that is not only far from predictable, but keeps all on their toes.

North America is my other passion and like a lover you can’t let go of, I know that at some point in the near future, the relationship will have to advance from wonderfully intense but fleeting, into something with a little more commitment and structure. My cubs, who for those of you that don’t know, are my two children Jesse and Indi. They are like food and water to me and who along with the ever present values, from the very inspiring life once shared with my late husband/best friend, fuel me, inspire me and remind me on a daily basis, who I not only want to be in the world, but what actions I need to take to honour the legacy I’d like to leave behind.

AS A 40 SOMETHING WOMAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO YOUR 20 SOMETHING SELF ?

Dear Vashti…… you’ll always be too big, too loud, too tender, or too creative with your spelling for someone, SO learn to understand what your unique strengths are and what it is that YOU as an individual bring to the table and the world! Find a purpose, as it is EVERYTHING!

When we be of service to others, the noise in your head of dissatisfaction, unworthiness and fear, will silently slip away and make way for the real potential of you and what you have to offer. Life is shorter than you will ever imagine, so don’t waste a single moment fostering self limiting beliefs, instead try everything, go for it all and TRUST that by simply trying, you will end up exactly where you are supposed to.

And lastly but most important of all…… remember that everyone and everything, that comes in and even out of your life, happens FOR you, as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Don’t live your life according to the rules of another, live them only ever by the values that truly reflect YOU.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE ACCORDING TO VASHTI WHITFIELD?

At the risk of sounding repetitious, the meaning of life to me, is hugely lead by understanding the meaning of death. When we are gifted with the opportunity of staring down the barrel of no foreseeable future, whether it is your own or that of someone you passionately love or care for in your life, the ability to then live in the depth and breadth of any given moment explodes into something wonderful.

From a coaching perspective, the route of all frustration, anxiety and potential blocking, is because we either live filtering our thinking through the past, and/or our imploding anxiety, driven by our fear of the unknown future – I try to live, squeeze and lean into every moment as if it is, as it independently holds the value that we so often structure into an end result that might be years away….

And lastly EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOU ( ~ Byron Katie) and not to you, be an opportunist versus a victim and watch what becomes available to you…

I KNOW YOU LOVE EARLY MORNING RUNS AND A SWIM BEFORE THE REST OF THE WORLD SURFACES, MOST PEOPLE ARE JUST RISING WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN UP FOR HOURS.

JUST HOW IMPORTANT HAS THAT BEEN FOR YOU, AND HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO HAVE SOMETHING THAT IS JUST FOR YOU?

I am at my most creative from about 5am and also LOVE watching the day unfold. I love the duality of sharing that with others and at the same time doing it in silence. A run and a swim on Sydney’s Bondi Beach with a coffee first at the Republic Bakery is my daily ritual, rain or shine. Without that hugely necessary time I not only become too overly involved with some of my less constructive thinking but I also notice how far less productive my day is. Oh and the fact that my cubs start saying things like, ‘MUM I’m not sure what’s going on for you but you’re clearly taking out your own frustrations on us.??!!!’

There was whole decade around small babies and enabling my husband’s growth where I neglected making this space for myself that was needed at that point in time more than ever, and in retrospect didn’t serve any of us. Sometimes we have to rethink the relationship with time or the story that we are running in order for us to enable it to magically appear.

The second is to run through what it is exactly you would have to let go of in order for your want to become possible.

FOR SOMEONE FEELING STUCK AND UNINSPIRED, WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO GET THEM INTO ACTION AND BACK ON TRACK ?

When we feel stuck it is more than often because of what we are choosing to focus our attention on and the fact that we haven’t taken the time to clarify what it is we most want. If we focus only on the problem or the fact that we are STUCK, we begin to feel unmotivated, overwhelmed and often hugely distracted.

The first step is to get clear on what it is you most want and then very openly and honestly clarify where you are getting in the way of it eventuating.

And finally if you really want traction in moving forward, after you’ve described what your vision of the outcome really looks like in as much detail as possible, break it down into manageable bite sized pieces and work through one patient and committed step at a time!

I’ll leave you with one of my favourite quotes.....

WHAT IF I FALL?

OH MY DARLING, WHAT IF YOU FLY!