Diva magazine issue10 final by The Diva Magazine

EMPOWERED TO INSPIRE

December 2013 - February 2014

Good to Great Moving Africa Forward

CORPORATE BRANDING

Women at the heart of it

Creating a Lasting First Impression

FORGING AHEAD WITH NA YOMBI

Impress on the first date

Breast cancer is not a death sentence

Sexy & Smart are two opposites

COVER STORY

Apostle

Mignonne

Issue No. 10

FREE COPY

editor’s note

CONTENTS PUBLISHER FALCON G. NDIRIMA

As we come to the close of the year, I believe there is a lot to reflect upon. 2013 has been a good year for some, but also a challenge for many. For others, it has been characterized by illness, sorrow and loss. In all circumstances however we should not despair but focus our energy on the little pleasures there are in life. Read our devotions for inspiration on how to live a positive and gratitude filled life. You could know someone who has succumbed to cancer or know one who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, this issue brings insights on breast cancer, its early detection and how you can be a part of the fight against breast cancer. We also gauge Rwandan’s awareness levels on breast cancer. Read and be the judge.

EDITOR Lillian M. Ndrima

Yes, He is Jehovah Rapha

Moving Africa Forward

Cover Story: Apostle Mignone

The International Customer Care Week

Forging ahead with Na Yombi

Breast Cancer is not a death sentence

Good to great

A Lifestyle worth living

Corporate Branding

Rwanda is the second best place to do business in Africa

Building your personal brand

Impress on the first date

So they have cheated

Sexy & Smart

Modern day Chivalry

The sheer beauty of traditional marriages

Lillian

Love is not a game

Ps . Remember to drop us a line or two on thediva@gmail.com

Recipe for Festive Season

Pictorial: Transform Africa

In this issue also we tell you why it is important for women to be at the heart of transforming Africa and how your offering extra ordinary service to customers could earn you recognition. Speaking of recognition in this issue, we profile Apostle Mignone and bring to the fore what Women foundation Ministry is doing to contribute to women’s social welfare and the family. Be sure to read her inspiring story. Also inside this issue we talk about corporate branding and how you can build a personal brand, read and know how. Don’t miss your favorite columns man talk, relationships, Aunt Umulisa and others. I would also like to take time to thank all our partners and sponsors, the advertisers. The ones who enable us bring you this issue on a regular basis. We are grateful for the support and hope for even better in the coming year! We are happy to present the 10th issue. In putting together this issue, it has probably been the most challenging of the previous 9 issues, due to the economic turbulence on the market, but yes we are happy to present to you our esteemed readers, issue number 10. Enjoy your copy. We at the Diva Magazine wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

“Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul. No one should ever take life so seriously that they forget to laugh at themselves.” ― Robin S. Sharma

CONTRIBUTORS ANN ANJAO ATHAN TASHOBYA CLAIRE ADUVUKA EFUA HAGAN FRED NKUSI JESSE KIMANI LILIAN GAHIMA JUDITH ACHIENG KUSTOM PHOTOGRAPHY Glance Media Ltd DESIGN AND LAYOUT GLANCE MEDIA LTD

SALES & MARKETING

GLANCE MEDIA LTD

P. O. Box 4665 Kigali, Centenary House, 2nd Floor, Kigali - Rwanda

www.thedivamagazine-rw.com

All rights reserved. Production is whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. The name The DIVA is a registered trademark of Glance Media Ltd. Liberty; while every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine the publishers cannot be held responsible for the accuracy of information herein or any consequences arising from it.

THE DIVA

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

yes devotion

devotion

HE IS JEHOVAH RAPHA

By Anne Anjao

I recall my friend Jenny with a little pain in my heart, but again a lot of admiration at her bravery. It was way back in 1994 when Jenny, then a young, vibrant newly married woman with one child was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 29. To say Jenny was devastated would be an understatement. Should I say perplexed? Stymied? Bamboozled?

She would later confide in me the questions that ran through her mind. How could she get cancer at age 29? Wasn’t it a disease of the old and elderly? Why did it pick on her? She had watched the suffering cancer patients underwent in many a movies and she was sure she was not one of these patients. And who created cancer anyway? Any psychologist will quickly spot the patternshock, denial, acceptance, action. This is exactly what happened to Jenny. She did accept her condition but like Naaman in the bible, chose to fight it. Yes, she fought it. Fought it like the gallant soldier she was. You see, Jenny was a believer. She firmly believed in the word of God which she would fearlessly speak out. Quickly, she got her bible and assembled all of God’s promises about healing. One by one, she began

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internalizing them: the Egyptians you see, you shall see them no more, Jesus bore our sickness in His own body on the cross, By His stripes we are healed, Jesus went about doing good and healing all those who were oppressed of the devil, that the God of Israel is Jehovah Rapha(one who heals). Boy! Didn’t she speak this word! Jenny had recognized the enemy. Like it was in the book of Job, Satan who had presented himself with God’s angels before God was the cause of this infirmity and like Job, she wasn’t going to lose this one! Believe it or not, Jenny fought quite a fight. She called on God. She fasted. She prayed. She sought spiritual support from a body of believers and yes, six months later, the doctors were puzzled. They could have sworn cancer had been staring right in their faces in those

early diagnostic days, but where the ‘heaven’ had it disappeared to? But Jenny would later tell me she saw Jesus. Literally. He was there all through and there never was a moment she felt alone. She was sure He had healed her unlike the doctors who had trouble believing. And Jenny would go on to get her second child and live a fulfilling life, strictly serving under the feet of Jesus. But then came early 2005 and Jenny would again manifest signs of breast cancer. What a somber period it was for us who cared about her. We gnashed our teeth in pain and disbelief. But God had his plans. Oh, such painful plans He had! But we took it in our strides, though momentarily thrown off balance by this death, for Jenny went to be with the Lord in late mid 2005. Just before she succumbed to the illness, after we had been through overnight prayers and prayed for her healing in earnest (there is nothing we didn’t do-throwing all caution to the wind and just rolling on the floor in earnest supplication),instead of going home, we went straight from the prayer session to the hospital, believing that we were dripping with anointing enough to have a second

miracle! But Jenny sensed it. She faintly told us, while steadily holding our gazes, that she was on her way home and that we should let go. God forbid! We screamed. Sister be strong in the Lord, we implored. The same God who healed you ten years ago will heal you, we affirmed. But Jenny just smiled and drifted off to sleep. Drifted off into the eternal and safe hands of the Father. And our anguish knew no bounds. Why God? Why heal her in the first place and then take her away in the prime of her life? 39! I was particularly disturbed and kept asking God questions; You are Jehovah Rapha, why didn’t you demonstrate your power again by just healing her? You saw our faith, and just like Jesus saw the faith of the men who pushed the paralytic through the roof of a house, why didn’t You heal her? The answer came several months later. He is Jehovah Rapha. Yes, He heals. Only that our ways are not His and neither are His thoughts ours. He did heal Jenny and we must remember that the same God gives and takes away. All we can say is, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Do not fear to call on His name even when faced with something as deadly as breast cancer. Nothing is impossible with our God.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

THE DIVA

technology

technology Museveni of Uganda, and Paul Kagame of Rwanda said Africa should leverage the ICT to spur a pro-poor, sustainable growth. The meeting was also attended by executives from Microsoft, Samsung, Facebook and IBM. Dr Hamadoun Toure reiterated the need to use ICTs in reducing poverty, creating prosperity while increasing productivity on the continent.

Moving Africa Forward Women at the heart of it Our correspondent

“Women will have to be at the heart of transformation if the continent must achieve sustainability in economic growth,” said Dr.Elham Mahmound Ibrahim, the Commissioner General for Infrastructure and Energy at the African Union during the Transform Africa Summit in Kigali. Dr. Ibrahim emphasized that women in Africa should form the largest group in all sectors including agriculture and Small Medium Enterprises which account for 90% of all business in the continent. The summit brought together women such as Song Hee Kyung, the Senior Vice President and Head of Enterprise and Business Unit at Korea 6

THE DIVA

Telecom, Anne Githuku the Afroes Director in South Africa, Janet Longmore, President and CEO Digity Opportunity Trust, Samai Melheme Lead Policy Specialist at the World Bank, and Amb. Valentine Rugwabiza, Rwanda Development Board’s CEO. Co-hosted by President Paul Kagame and Dr Hamadoun I. Toure, the Secretary-General of the International

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Telecommunication Union (ITU) at the Kigali Serena Hotel from Oct 28 -31, the summit adopted the Smart Africa Manifesto which is expected to transform Africa using the power of ICT.

The smart African Manifesto: The manifesto places ICT at the core of socio-economic development, enhancing capacity to develop ICTs,

improving accountability and transparency, putting private sector and women at the engine of economic transformation, and promoting cost-effective technology. Presidents Ali Bongo Ondimba of Gabon, Blaise Compaoré of Burkina Faso, Ibrahim Boubacar Keïta (Mali), Salva Kiir Mayardit (South Sudan), Uhuru Kenyatta (Kenya), Yoweri

“There is need to collaborate with the private sector and fellow African countries to continuously invest in the necessary infrastructure, including cross border and regional networks,” Dr Toure said. The Africa Smart Manifesto will be implemented through an alliance with the African Development Bank, World Bank, ITU and the private sector.

Private-Public Partnerships Collaboration with the private sector was encouraged, “Privatepublic partnership is very crucial to determine the digital future of Africa. For the last six years $55 billion has been invested in technology development in Africa and we expect to reach $70 billion by the end of next year,” Dr. Toure said. He hailed Rwanda for taking great strides in ICT

development, especially the rolling out of fibre optical cables and 4G Long Term Evolution (LTE) network across the country.

Rwanda’s President Kagame said Africa needed to embrace a digital revolution which has the power to transform communities with greater access to information. “We must understand how technology is opening up new opportunities and what we can do to prepare for it. During the technological change, success belongs to those who can innovate and those who see the available opportunities,” he added. He observed that since the 2007 Connect Africa Summit, also held in Kigali, many changes had taken place adding that the Transform Africa Summit presented enormous opportunities to create strategic partnerships and maximize the benefits that come with them.

Kenyan President Kenyatta also

observed that there are immense opportunities presented by ICTs, which he said provide a great opportunity for innovation, job creation and efficiency governance systems. “If we look back and assess what drove the

growth of developed economies, it was railway line, sea transport and air transport; we in Africa are still struggling to connect our people and have a free flow of goods on the continent,” he said.

Ugandan President Museveni warned that

ICTs alone will not drive the continent unless they are used to promote other sectors such as agriculture, manufacturing and other services.

Presidents Kirr, Ondimba, Compaoré and Keïta all said that, if

harnessed, ICT can serve as a vehicle that drives Africa to a desired level. Without setting specific targets, the Heads of States pledged that their governments will continue to invest in ICTs for the benefit of their people and the continent as a whole.

Investors root for support The World Bank will increase its support towards innovative business and infrastructural reforms in order to boost economic development on the African continent according to Jean Philippe Prosper, Vice President, World Bank. Projects that support market liberalisation, mobile banking, and innovative infrastructural

reforms, especially in the ICT industry will be given priority.

UN, Face Book, Micro soft joined the queue Officials from the United Nations, Facebook and Microsoft also pledged to support science-based education in Africa and Rwanda in particular. Matt Perault, Facebook’s Head of Global Policy Development, said the social networking media is currently looking at ways of reducing the cost of accessing data on the African continent. Robert Kayihura, the Microsoft Legal and Corporate Affairs Director, also affirmed the company’s commitment to support over 200,000 youth within the circles of ICTs, including fresh graduates in science disciplines in Rwanda. Microsoft intends to help 75 per cent of fresh graduates in select African nations get job placements. The government is considering five key areas where to partner with Microsoft, including services such as e-government, e-health, e-agriculture, e-education and the growth of SMEs using the power of information and telecommunication technology. The next Transform Africa Summit will take place in 2015.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

THE DIVA

cover story

cover story On 30th November, The Women Foundation Ministries (WFM) celebrated yet another thanksgiving day in their multi-purpose Hall in Kimihurura. For those not in the know, WFM is a ministry purely given to raising the living standards of women, particularly in Rwanda. It is a ministry founded on the Rhema word of God and committed to emulating the work of Christ on earth. Rightfully, WFM celebrates God’s work in the lives of families every year. The Diva, in solidarity, brings you this interview with the founder of WFM, Apostle Alice Mignone. 1. What exactly is your ministry involved in?

Apostle

By our correspondent

Mignonne

WOMEN Foundation Ministries Our correspondent

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Women Foundation Ministries is an interdenominational ministry; it is more than a church. It is a ministry aimed at empowering women emotionally, physically and psychologically. We deal with different kinds of women who want to make a difference in their lives and the society at large. We help the women emotionally, physically and psychologically and help them deal with financial matters too. The ministry has expanded to provinces in Rwanda and in neighbouring countries like Uganda.

2. Would you say the ministry began as a result of a calling from God? Please give the story behind the ministry. Yes, I consider it a calling from God. I got a vision where I saw many women with no arms who were in a valley. In this vision, God told me to go and give those women arms. I asked God, ‘How can I give them arms if I don’t have arms myself’? God then gave me a rod and told me to touch all women with it. The arms indicate the 3 pillars of our ministry - administration, production and activities and we aim at empowering women in these 3 pillars. We realized that women do many different things, but not in a structured manner so the ministry works towards enabling these women gain some form of structure. We also encourage the women to be active and not idle around, and also to try to organize different activities and events to engage themselves. Most importantly, we empower these women spiritually by constantly teaching them the word of God. Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

THE DIVA

cover story

3. What are your achievements so far? So far, the ministry has helped hundreds of women start their own businesses. The kind of help we give is comprised of making a business plan, entrepreneurship training, technical skills training, all accompanied by customer care training. Most importantly, we connect these business novices to already established business persons to mentor and help them grow in business. As a result, we have more financially stable women who are able to support themselves and their families. Secondly, we have managed to train over 33 counselors. Thirdly, we have built a multi-purpose hall at Kimihurura which is used mainly for events and trainings. Then, we have acquired a plot at Kagugu where we shall build a church. Fourth, the ministry has birthed a church (Noble family church) based in Kagugu, which I consider to be our greatest achievement. Fifth, the ministry indulges in lots of outreach programs where we spiritually, emotionally and physically support people. Some examples include giving out livestock, material support in form of clothing, food and paying rent for some people. We have on several occasions provided funds for people’s medical insurance, paid school fees for children and most notably, for 5 years now, we have steadfastly provided alms to the pediatric ward of CHUK hospital on a weekly basis. We are proud to contribute to the social welfare of this nation. Finally, the ministry has provided an alternative fun place for the youth. Other than going to discotheques and other secular places to dance and “enjoy life”, we have created youth forums where the youth meet, dance, play, sing and have fun alongside learning the wisdom of God. We have many young people who had become burdens to their families but are now purpose-driven youth.

4. Any challenges? Most of the women we deal with have lost belief and confidence in themselves despite the fact that they are so gifted and have the potential and skills. We counter this challenge by preaching messages of confidence and how to overcome fear. We have learnt that confidence comes with time and as these women achieve their goals, they gain more and more confidence. Another challenge is that some women have husbands 10

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who are not used to the idea of an empowered woman. To deal with this, we involve their husbands in some activities and this ensures that the men are involved in their wives’ experiences. In addition, we encourage the women to continue being submissive and not let the success they achieve affect their marriages.

5. Does the ministry have any future plans? One of the ministry’s future plans is to build a centre for women. This centre, Shiloh Centre, is already operational in principle where women interact with one another. Those victimized share their testimonies with others and they find comfort, and eventually peace.

6. Please comment on your family

Both my husband and I are leaders, but when it comes to family life, I am a wife and a mother. I thank God we have learnt to respect each other and this has kept our marriage strong.

7. What is your educational background? I am a professional counselor, and have a diploma in Church and Ministry Management and above all, am a pastor by calling. This is not the end though, since I hope to pursue further education.

8. What advice would you give to women in Rwanda and around the globe? Women are the vessels of this hour so we have to stand up NOW. Let us get rid of the habit of procrastinating because we will achieve nothing if we let this habit take control of us. There is a way to stand and progress now so that we reach tomorrow. Above all, we need to know that there is a power above all, the power of God. If we trust God in our everyday lives and in our families, we will achieve more than we can imagine.

THE INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMER CARE WEEK

Rwanda aiming at 100% customer service satisfaction By Athan Tashobya

For the first time Rwanda joined the rest of the world to commemorate the International Customer Service Week. A weeklong event Themed “Ita Kuri Serivisi” literally meaning “Think Service”, ran from 7th until 11th October 2013 aimed at acknowledging the importance of customer service and honouring people who serve and support customers with the highest degree of care, ethic and professionalism. According to Clare Akamanzi, the Former Acting Chief Executive Officer at RDB, Rwanda can obtain over 40 million US dollar GDP if better service delivery is ensured. She highlighted that poor customer service has been identified as a key

impediment to achieving Vision 2020. “Since it is Rwanda’s first time to celebrate with the world, our focus is to encourage service providers to provide exceptional service,” she noted. Service sector is currently contributing 44% to the National GDP, and the statistics may continue to rise is the five major pillars of customer service outlined have been clearly followed. They include; communication, problem solving, timeliness, professionalism and ease of doing business (encouraging and or improving on-line services). On the launch of Customer care week, Yves Ngenzi, Head of Customer Care

Unit at RDB pointed out that the level of customer satisfaction in Rwanda currently stands at 71%, based on a research carried out in May and June 2013 within various public and private institutions. “There is an improvement compared to 60% level of satisfaction in 2010. The target is to increase the level of satisfaction to 80% by 2017” Said Yves. According to the report, satisfaction in public institutions is higher compared to the private sector, with the Directorate of Immigration and Emigration being the overall best in customer care. Ms Akamanzi, [who took time to engage in the day-to-day business registration exercise at

RDB as a sign of customer care and transparent service delivery] advised that structured orientation programs and on-job training as well as training on best practices and techniques should be made available to further improve Rwanda’s ranking. The government has put an emphasis on structured orientation programs and on-job training as well as training on best practices and techniques should be made available to further improve Rwanda’s ranking. Over 18000 people have been trained in different service sectors by RDB through this programme and the exercise is still on.

business

FORGING AHEAD WITH 5. Mrs. Hadijah MUTIMUKUNDA:

In Kinyarwanda, ’na yombi’ means “with both hands”. The ‘Na Yombi’ Customer Care Campaign was launched by Rwanda Development Board (RDB) on March 26th, 2012 at Serena Hotel. The Na Yombi campaign is meant to ensure excellent customer care with focus on the private sector by developing skills in quality service. The ’Na Yombi’ message essentially entails the excellent reception of a customer/guest with open hands, showing enthusiasm, respect and total attention. RDB runs this national campaign to improve the quality of service in Rwanda. This customer care unit is headed by Yves NGENZI at RDB. Na Yombi recognizes exceptional service providers and the following are this year’s recipients: Our correspondent

1. Aimable SIBOMANA:

When Mr. Christian Angerma lost his kindle/iPod, all hopes of recovering it in Amsterdam were lost. Found properties are usually kept at the headquarters of the KLM offices. Christian was surprised when he found Aimable [KLM air host] waiting with his kindle at Kigali international airport. Aimable, after finding a lost kindle, took the initiative to search for the owner by tracing the occupant’s seat number on the plane and handing it back to Mr. Angerma. Aimable’s act of faithfulness and selflessness encourages other service providers to not only give better services but also to be trustworthy and go an extra mile in delivering excellent and reliable services to their customers.

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2. Mrs. Sandra IDOSSOU: She is well-known for her contribution towards good service delivery campaign in Rwanda. Sandra wrote a book that brought together all the ideas on how to deliver excellent services. She started a magazine that basically guides and advises how to deliver good services. ServiceMag is a quarterly magazine written in Kinyarwanda, English and French that equips people with knowledge on how to give better service, amongst other information. She has contributed extraordinarily to Rwanda’s campaign on good service delivery.

3. Mr. Emmanuel NIYONKURU: As a cell leader of Niboyi, Kicukiro District, Emmanuel is a faithful servant. He has always been faithful in delivering on his commitments. Emmanuel suggests that the secret behind good service delivery is humility and respect, “…to be a good servant, you have got to love, have humility, respect for those you serve and deliver as fast as you can [without go and come back next time] when all requirements have been provided,” Emmanuel says. He advises leaders to respect their seniors, respect those they serve and be good communicators for good leadership and transparency.

4. Mme. Noëlla MUKARUGOMWA: She is in charge of good governance in Nyamasheke District. Madam Noella is well described by the people she governs as a good listener and a reliable leader who will always find solutions to the problems brought to her desk. “The greatest secret behind good service delivery is respecting everybody to the extent that they learn to trust you and rely on you in solving their day-to-day problems,” Noella says. A clear message Noella sends to people working in different public places like hospitals, local councils, EWSA, banks among other institutions is to respect those who come to them on a daily basis for services and learn to value everyone.

The ever smiling Hadijah runs a merchandise shop in Kabeza market. She interacts with many people but her warmth never fades… it is said by clients and the rest of her fellow businessmen and women that even when Hadijah does not have what a customer is looking for, she will go the extra mile in assisting customers on where to find all they need. She is such a trustworthy person to the extent that one of her clients comes all the way from Kibagaba to Kabeza. Her colleagues have benefited much from her presence in learning how to treat customers with diligence and helping where there is need. “It is to your benefit as a business person when you treat your clients and customers right for they will not only trust you but will most possibly recommend other customers to you,” advises Hadijah.

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feature

BREAST CANCER INITIATIVE EAST AFRICA (BCIEA) The year was 1994. The place was the USA. That was when Philippa Kibugu-Decuir, a RwandanAmerican, was diagnosed with breast cancer (one of those diseases you would never wish to talk about in life!) Thanks to today’s technological advancement, she has been able to access quick treatment and been living a healthy life for about 20 years. However, Philippa’s access to first class treatment in the US has not erased bad memories of her late elder sister who succumbed to cancer way back in 1986 while in Rwanda (She puts the blame on inadequate medical knowledge then).

Breast cancer

is not a death sentence By Athan Tashobya & Anne Anjao

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Sitted besides Philippa was Oda Nsabimana who had also been diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years before. Unlike Phillipa, Oda was (and still is) living in Rwanda by the time she got to know about her status. It was such a challenging moment for her, her family and friends. Her initial reaction was of

course shock. A couple of months later however, she considers herself “lucky” that the detection was done on time. “When I was told that I had breast cancer, I almost lost my senses. However, I don’t know where I would be if it were not for my encouraging family and friends. Moreover, I was able to get further treatment from NairobiKenya” Oda narrates. Oda’s treatment was funded by the Ministry of Health and she can hardly hide her gratitude to the government for the love, care and support to its people.

It is through shared (call it common) life experiences that Philippa received a calling to join hands with Oda and other breast cancer survivors and volunteers to pioneer the establishment of BREAST CANCER INITIATIVE EAST AFRICA (BCIEA); a non- profit organization dedicated to take the lead in the advancement of

breast cancer surveillance and improved survival rates targeted to the most neglected population in the low income communities of East Africa.

Anne N. Regege, BCIEA Executive Director, believes that knowledge is power that alters and saves life from ignorance and disease. She adds that Rwanda is doing an exemplary job in fighting breast cancer among other epidemics.

“Our mission is to empower people through education based on proven methods and resources that are regionalized and culturally acceptable to target audiences. We have successfully brought together over 3000 women since 2011 and we hope to continue helping more, those who are willing to join us,” says Anne.

BCIEA focuses on breast health that emphasizes

early detection of breast cancer as the best tool for protection. Home and community based instructional activities and events have been organized. BCIEA is working closely with CHUK, National University of Rwanda (NUR), Forum for African Women Empowerment (FAWE) and the Ministry of Health, [and] they have signed memorandums of understanding which have enabled them to successfully establish a resource center in Butare, Huye District among other areas, to provide information, educational materials, and audio/ video demonstrations for community outreach activities. They are making sure that nobody faces breast cancer fearfully and alone insisting that breast cancer is not a death penalty. Although breast cancer predominantly occurs in women, it can also affect men, though rarely. Therefore, men are urged to support their wives but also be cautious and go for medical checkups in case any cases arise. BCIEA Public Relations’ Manager, Miss Eva Gara has encouraged the public to join hands with them in fighting breast cancer through annual activities like charity walks and voluntary events for a healthy nation.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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feature

BREAST

CANCER The month of October is a special month to women because it is the month awash with awareness campaigns on breast cancer. It is the month hospitals offer free screening. We live in an information overload century where no one should needlessly die of the disease. The DIVA magazine sought to know awareness levels among residents of Rwanda who were picked at random. Each responded to the following questions. Be the judge as to their awareness levels.

(a)Well, I just realized that October is internationally recognized as a Breast Cancer month. b)All I know is that breast cancer affects the breast. I guess that’s all I know.

MARION MUZIRANKONI 3rd YEAR STUDENT, 16

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c) Of course the word breast suggests it all… I have heard a couple of

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

people being diagnosed with breast cancer and they have one common symptom related to it.

but yes, I know some people with breast cancer. My friend’s aunt (name withheld).

d)Honestly I have never had any single breast cancer test because I have never had any health problems with my breasts.

f) I think there has not been enough sensitization done about breast cancer and the public does not know much about this sickness…we surely need more sensitization and medical checkup if there is any offered!

e) I guess I have never suffered from breast cancer unless I went for medical checkup and results say otherwise…

GILBERT TWINAMATSIKO, ACCOUNTANT

a) Something special about October? Honestly, I do not know. I would be lying if I said I did.

a)Something special about the month of October!? Well, it’s my daughter’s birthday hahahhaha!

b) Uhhmm, I guess it’s a type of cancer that attacks breasts?

a) What is special about the month of October? b) What do you know about breast cancer? c) From where did you get this information? d) How often do you (i) check yourself for breast cancer (ii) get a medical check up? e) Have you suffered or know anyone who suffers from breast cancer? f) Do you think enough sensitization is being done on the sickness in Rwanda? NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF RWANDA

OLIVIER MUHIZI IT SPECIALIST, CEO AFRODESIGNS LTD

c) I have heard the disease being mentioned on radios and other media, though not so often. But I don’t really know much about it… I hate to hear anything about cancer; it’s a very intimidating sickness! d) Well, I have never checked myself for cancer and I have not gone for any medical checkups because I hate to know about cancer. Oh God, I can’t imagine myself living with cancer!

b) Nothing much I know about breast cancer other than that it is a type of cancer that affects breasts. c) Well, when I was still in Uganda, I would see a few sensitization campaigns in newspapers and watched various TV spots about the disease. d) I have never checked myself for breast cancer but my wife has gone for medical checkup… Thank God, she tested negative.

e) Honesty, am not sure if I have it or not, but I believe I do not have it because I have not had any issues with my breasts. Am yet to see anyone with breast cancer too.

e) God forbid! Am sure I do not have breast cancer and apart from a lady I saw testifying on TV to be breast cancer positive, I personally know no other victim.

f) I think there is more to be done on breast cancer sensitization because if you moved a few miles away from Kigali, you might get surprised that people do not know anything about it.

f) Well, I used to see a number of sensitization campaigns in Uganda but I guess there is no much sensitization here in Rwanda. Is it perhaps because of having relatively few media?

ASUMAN BATEYO, ASSOCIATE LECTURER, Mount Kenya UNIVERSITY

Winnie Umwali a) I don’t really know.

a) Of course, it’s the Breast Cancer awareness month.

b) It is a disease that can be treated when diagnosed early. It mostly affects women from 35 years and above. c) From my mother and a friend. d) I have never checked myself nor gone for check-up because when I am not sick, I don’t need to see a doctor.

b) I know it affects or is detected in breast feeding moms only and is not easy to detect until the person starts feeling pain. c) From my sisters whom I heard urging our mother to go for a check up. You see, both my sisters are medical personnel.

e) No. I know an aunt who lives in France whose cancer was detected early. She sought treatment and is now fine. She is a doctor, and that probably explains her actions.

d) Never. I have always believed it’s a women’s disease.

f) Not much I think because I have never heard much about it, even when I was in school. There should be clubs in schools about this, but they don’t exist.

f) I don’t think enough sensitization is being done. Not even in Uganda although what is mostly receiving coverage in Uganda is cervical cancer.

e) No, I haven’t and neither do I know anyone suffering from the sickness.

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lifestyle

lifestyle When I was in P3 a strange thing happenedI escaped punishment for a laughable reason. Right from P1, my dad who was a strict disciplinarian, used to make me clean my shoes daily till he could see his face on them. At first this made no sense to me but eventually it became a habit and I started enjoying it. I could clean my shoes and compete with my dad for kicks.

Great

Good to

Will your name be remembered or be submerged in the mire of eternal mediocrity? By Athan Tashobya

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Anyway in class 3, you had to memorize multiplication tables. One time, I had not done my homework and was part of the group queuing to receive strokes of a green pipe nicknamed the green mamba. As I drew closer, the teacher halted his ‘job,’ pulled me out of the queue and addressed the class telling them how my shoes are always clean and shiny day in day out. My heart had almost stopped, thinking for a moment there that I could have been in more trouble. Of course I started blushing. To cut a long story short, I was forgiven my transgressions because of a little thing as cleaning my shoes faithfully, something that I had not paid much attention to.

In life, we are each good at something. It may not always seem relevant or conscious when we are doing it but it is always there. This one thing is what makes each of us special and may be the turning point between good and great. When you decide to do what you do each day with a little more effort, a bit more finesse, a little bit more than what every

accountability to self and to the people you serve hence it is imperative to maintain consistency of service.

one Dr. Wale always says, “If your absence is not felt then your presence was never required in the first place.”

In business it entails delivery not just as per customer wants but beyond customer expectations. It is that extra bit of effort that differentiates the average and the great. The little effort may be as mundane as friendliness, delivery

So today as you go about your business ask yourself what makes you special and what you are striving to be great at. Are you living a life of mediocrity or one that has meaning, purpose and value? Do people see your value or feel and acknowledge your presence or do they simply forget you the moment you walk out of the room?

Dr. Wale always says, “If your absence is not felt then your presence was never required in the first place.” other person is doing; that is your point of greatness. This applies both in business and in the way you live. The way you treat your customers with that extra care and attention and going the extra mile makes a big difference. Greatness is never handed to you, neither is it a birth rite, something you pick up off the street or in a dusty treasure box. It is learnt, it is nurtured, it is cultivated. It is watered, cared for and is intentional. It is internally driven and requires hard work, dedication and inculcation into your way of life. It does not stand for mediocrity, so once you start on this path, you must toe the line and live up to the standards of excellence that come with it. With greatness comes both responsibility and

before or on time. We are a continent where people believe that being African is always being late, never meeting deadlines but fact is, some businesses excel, some remain the same, and the rest shut down because mediocrity eventually catches up and drives customers to seek out better service providers. My shot at greatness was not about being an Obama but at being me, simple yet adding value to the people I interact with. I recall a time I made a conscious decision after being badly hurt by a number of people that I would be a different person. My aim and purpose in life is not to be like any other person but to be of value to all who come into my life. And as

Everyone who has become great and still is, is because greatness lives and outlives the person. Such people had that one thing that no matter how small, it made them great, for example, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Wangari Mathai, our parents….the list is endless. Some of these people never required a platform to be great but it is their humility, service and dedication that shone and made them great. These values are greatly undervalued but are held in high regard once the person excels and is no longer there to display them, leading to their absence being felt. Question is, where are you right now, and will your name be found in the pages of great people? Will you be somebody or a nobody with no name or works to your name?

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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lifestyle

lifestyle The day I thought of coming up with this-real-life article, I was going through a rehab. My life was crushing down, grieving the loss of my beloved Sister Juliet Rutagonya who had succumbed to blood cancer. (May her soul Rest in Eternity). Juliet is believed to have lived a life everybody “envied”.

A Lifestyle

Worth Living

Live with passion and Purpose By Athan Tashobya

THE DIVA

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

It’s so disturbing when people like Juliet die. In such moments, you doubt God’s love for his people. “Honestly, sincere and warm hearted people like her I suppose should live a little longer just for the world to keep looking up to them. But am not going to question God anyway; I know he is a faithful God no matter our life’s struggles,” says Jenny, Juliet’s childhood friend. The meaning of life is a philosophical concept concerning the significance of life. It can also be expressed in different forms, such as “Why are we here?”, “What is life all about?”, and “What is the purpose of existence?” Allow me to encourage us to take the road less travelled and live a purposeful and Godly life; yes, we can… and am pretty sure, that is the right route to take if we are to enjoy every moment of life here on earth and the life to come!

Consider what Winston Churchill said a couple of decades ago, “What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?” Life’s purpose in Christianity is to seek divine salvation through the grace of God and intercession of Christ. ( John 11:26) The New Testament speaks of God wanting to have a relationship with humans both in this life and the life to come, which can happen only if one’s sins are forgiven ( John 3:16–21; 2 Peter 3:9). In the Christian view, humankind was made in the Image of God and perfect, but the fall of man caused the progeny of the first parents to inherit original sin. The sacrifice of Christ’s passion, death and resurrection provide the means for transcending that impure state (Romans 6:23).

R. Alan Woods, a renowned religious icon once reiterated, “Coming into a realization that there is purpose in why God has given all of us the gift of life- to promote the cause of Christ and God’s Kingdom in a creative manner that expresses our uniqueness.” The purpose of life is to be the best you can be, to add value to the lives of others, to improve the quality of life and fulfill your potential regardless of your circumstances. Visualize your dreams and watch them unfold. Stop picturing the rut that you are presently stuck in, and instead focus on what you ideally want. The purpose of living comes along with experiencing emotions, producing offspring, and creating memories! Living is a gift given to all people that does not last forever, so we should live it. People live by their feelings more than anything else much of the time. If you listen, you’ll hear people talk about how they feel more than just about anything else. I wonder sometimes if we are serving the god of our feelings more than the God of the Bible. For example, someone says, “I don’t feel God loves me.” Well, He does. Or “I don’t feel I have a future.” Well, you have. The Bible clearly says God loves us and that He has good plans for us.

But when we believe the lies the enemy puts in our minds over the Word of God, we will feel like the lies are true and then live like it. Emotional people make big mistakes when they base their lives’ decisions on how they feel rather than obeying God and what they know is the right thing to do. We have to learn how to live beyond our feelings and do what’s right even when we feel wrong. We have to determine how to live a purposeful life, and to learn to live beyond our feelings and do what’s right even when we feel wrong. Your feelings should never dictate how you treat people, or what you say, or run your life. You may be thinking, Well, I can’t help how I feel! I agree. I can’t help how I feel at times and I’m not going to pretend I don’t feel anything. Emotions won’t go away – we must learn how to manage them and not let them manage us. The key to a better living is refusing to be passive and making a conscious decision to do what’s right. Being passive means you wait for an outside force to move you or to feel like doing something. Use your will to choose what’s right. And pray for God’s grace to give you the ability to do it.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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Mirrors can decorate a small room while creating the illusion of a bigger space

interior design

Corporate

Branding

Creating a Lasting First Impression By Efua Hagan

One effective way of branding your business is through the use of interior design. A good office design speaks volumes and contributes greatly to the first impressions your prospective customers will form about your business. These initial impressions are inevitable and will go on to determine if they will use your services or find them elsewhere. If you have a business, are thinking of beginning one soon, or you’re simply in for a good read, this article is for you. Before we get started on the interiors, let’s spend a brief moment on office exteriors. The outside of any company building/office automatically communicates to its customers what is to be expected on the inside. Therefore it is important to ensure that the office’s exterior looks attractive presentable. Now we can move onto the 22

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fun part, the inside! Let’s start off with the notion that less is more. The interior of any work place should be one which avoids too many distractions, while promoting a productive environment that is simple fresh and neat.

The Psychology behind colour

Colour can be used to increase your employees’ working energy, to fuel creativity,

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

and to create a friendly atmosphere for welcoming clients. As you decide on a colour scheme, it is important to bear in mind that colour is not only visual. It is linked to psychology because of the various moods, feelings and emotions they arouse within us. Good office interior design is one that is mindful of the effects colour can have on its employees and clients, and consequently uses colours

that will trigger appropriate emotions to benefit the business.

Opt for Professional Furniture

Your furniture should present the professional image you want for your business. All basic furniture equipment i.e. desks, a bookcase, file cabinets and comfortable

Small rooms should be kept tidy to maintain an airy feel

chairs (for you and clients) should be made well and arranged in a practical manner. Take for example an office desk. The desk should face the doorway, so that you can see anyone entering the room. Your chair should not be directly in front of the doorway, but slightly to the side. This position keeps you on top of things because you will be able to see anyone entering your office and you will respond accordingly. If you cannot place the desk in a position facing the doorway, hang up a mirror in a strategic position. The mirror can also act as a decorating element and should have a unique frame that ties in with the rest of the office décor.

Accessories

Although walls shouldn’t be littered with art, they shouldn’t be left plain either. Put up a few art pieces, wall hangings or decorative baskets to keep the walls from looking too bare. Furthermore incorporating indoor plants is another great way to decorate a working space. In addition to them enhancing the space, they will

improve oxygen levels that will refresh both the air and subsequently the employees, leading to increased concentration and productivity. By improving the interior conditions for employees, the way they relate to customers will also improve.

Lighting

Working in an office environment with poor lighting can make working and handling customers a challenge on its own. It simply sucks the life out of you. Good lighting, especially natural lighting has the

opposite effect, by bringing life and energy into the room/ building. Where natural outdoor lighting is lacking, install bright lights within the building to create a cheerful, lively and encouraging working environment that even your clients will notice. Good office design can leave a positive impression on customers directly or indirectly and a bad design will not appeal to prospective clients. Employees too can be affected in a non conducive design layout that is likely to affect their level of enthusiasm and productivity

when dealing with their work and customers. Furthermore, competition is on the rise, and one way to stand out of the crowd is by giving your business an exceptional office design. So why not project your uniqueness and communicate how professional you are through your office layout? If done well it will advertise your services and level of seriousness to your prospective clients. Your unique office deign will become a magnet that attracts customers to your door step, and you will be sure to reap the benefits.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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business

Rwanda is the second best place to do business in Africa, according to a new World Bank’s Doing Business Report 2014 released last week. The annual World Bank report, which assesses country-by-country performance in ease of doing business, indicates that, overall, Rwanda moved 22 places, to 32nd out of 189 countries globally. Mauritius (20th globally) retains its number one spot in Sub-Saharan Africa and on the continent in general.

Rwanda was also named the most improved country worldwide since 2005, Ukraine, the country that has improved most over the last one year, while Singapore, for the eighth consecutive year, remained overall best performer globally, followed by Hong Kong, New Zealand, the United States and Denmark in that order. This year’s annual report, released under the banner, ‘Doing Business 2014: Understanding Regulations for Small and Medium-Size Enterprises’ said Rwanda had substantially improved in property registration and processing of construction permits.

Rwanda

is the

second best

PLACE to do business in Africa By our correspondent

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Out of the 10 criteria, Rwanda topped the Sub-Saharan region in three, namely; starting business, registering property and getting credit, and second in getting electricity and enforcing contracts. In Sub-Saharan region, South Africa comes third (41st globally), Botswana fourth (56th worldwide), Ghana fifth (67) and Seychelles sixth (80). Rwanda is the only member of the East African Community (EAC) in top ten. The second top performer among the EAC partner states is Kenya, which ranked 12th in the Sub-Saharan Africa region and 129th globally, followed by Uganda, in 13th position at the regional level and 132nd worldwide. Tanzania is the worst performer among the EAC countries, ranking 19th in the Sub-Saharan Africa region, and 145th globally; while Burundi ranked 16th and 140th, respectively. Tunisia is the star of North Africa, ranking 51 globally, 19 places behind Rwanda. Democratic Republic of Congo is among the seven worst performers (all from Africa), ranking 183rd globally and 42nd in the SubSaharan region.

While Rwanda continues to perform strongly overall, the country performed lowly in two topics, namely trading across borders (ranking 31st out of 47 countries in the Sub-Saharan category) and resolving insolvency (22nd). Particularly, the report cites high cost of importation and exportation of goods. Exporting a container from Rwanda costs $3,245, compared to the region’s average of $2,108, while importing to Rwanda costs $4,990, way above Sub-Saharan Africa’s average of $2,793. On insolvency, the report says that it takes 2.5 days to close a business in Rwanda, bankruptcy proceedings may take up to 29 per cent of the estate value, while on average it goes up to 23 per cent yet it takes just nine per cent of the estate in industrialised nations.

Significant strides Areas where the country made significant strides over the past one year include property registration, where it moved 54 places to become number eight globally and first in the Sub-Saharan Africa category, and issuance of construction permits where it moved 37 places to become 85th globally and 14 in the region. Property registration is measured in the form of the total number of days it takes to register property and “the measure captures the maiden duration that property lawyers, notaries or registry officials indicate is necessary to complete a procedure.” On construction permits, the World Bank’s ‘Doing Business’ report says that in Rwanda, it takes 13 procedures to build a warehouse which is slightly better than the Sub-Saharan Africa average of 15 procedures, while construction of a warehouse takes an average of

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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business

Performing better These costs, he said, will significantly come down, courtesy of the Single Customs Territory which was launched in Kigali on Monday, by the Presidents of Rwanda, Kenya, Uganda and Southern Sudan. He also pointed at other ongoing Integration Projects, which are designed to help ease doing business along the Northern Corridor, including plans to construct a railway line and an oil pipeline, as well as use of IDs as travel documents and introduction of a single tourist visa.

“I see Rwanda improve further in terms of doing business because latest developments in the region are lessening the effects caused by the fact that it’s a land-locked country,” he said. Lucy Mamganga, a Senior Private Sector Development Specialist at World Bank-Rwanda, said much as the country was doing well, more reforms in the areas of capacity building, informal sector, and insolvency were needed.

The four partner countries are among those using the Northern Corridor; which is served by Kenya’s Mombasa port. Dar el Salaam port of Tanzania serves markets along the Central Corridor. The same sentiments were echoed by Mark Priestley, the country manager, TradeMark East Africa, who said the Single Customs Territory will have a huge positive impact on businesses in Rwanda.

104 days against the region’s average of 171 days. Some of the procedures in construction that were cited include procurement of a copy of the leasehold title which the report says takes just a day at a cost of Rwf 5,000, while obtaining a survey plan takes five days and costs $500.

According to Claver Gatete, the Minister of Finance and Economic Planning, the report will help the government “work on those areas where we are not doing well so as to attain the desired 11.5 per cent annual growth rate by 2018.”

Reaction from stake holders In Rwanda, it was launched last week at the World Bank Country Office in Kigali.

The targets are part of the country’s 2013-2018 Economic Development and Poverty Reduction Strategy (EDPRS 2), which seeks to deliver Rwanda to a middle-income economy.

Speaking at the event, Cabinet minister and CEO of Rwanda Development Board Valentine Sendanyoye Rugwabiza said that the report was an important planning and evaluation tool. “It serves as a barometer which helps us to further improve our performance,” she said. Rugwabiza, however, noted that a lot still needs to be done in the area of SMEs and export industry.

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Creating business friendly environment has been at the heart of the country’s business reforms in recent years, with a person now able to open business within just six hours. Addressing the issue of high import and export costs, the Commissioner General of Rwanda Revenue Authority, Ben Kagarama, said that over 80 per cent of the costs are avoidable, since much of them are non-tariff barriers.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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career

Building your

Personal Brand I once had a business owner tell me, “I don’t need a personal brand. My business isn’t flashy and neither am I. My customers know me as trustworthy, honest, and reliable - what more do I need than that?” What he didn’t realize is that, in stating that he didn’t need a personal brand, he had just identified his personal brand! Namely, this business owner is known to be “trustworthy, honest, and reliable.” By Claire Aduvuka 28

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

We all have a personal brand - but that does not mean that it is a positive image. For instance, some business owners may be considered arrogant or unconcerned with customer service. In some cases, this negative brand conception may be accurate - but in others, it can result simply through miscommunication. As a professional, you cannot afford to have a miscommunication when it comes to creating your personal brand - which is why it is critical that every professional deliberately define and communicate his or her personal brand. That doesn’t mean you have to appear on TV or plaster your smiling face on billboards throughout the city. You don’t have to become somebody that you are not. Your personal brand should reflect and enhance your personality, not distort it. If loyalty, honesty, and a focus on relationships are important components to your personality, those are the attributes that your personal brand should be built around. Here are a few tips on how you can build your personal brand:

Look at your personal brand as an investment. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Your personal brand has the potential to last longer than your own

life-span. People will follow your brand from project to project if they feel connected to it. When launching new projects, your personal brand has the potential to guarantee you never have to start from scratch again.

Set goals for your public image. ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Because your personal brand is built from the thoughts and words and reactions of other people, it’s shaped by how you present yourself publicly. This is something that you have control over. You can decide how you would like people to see you and then work on publicly being that image. Consider your goals for the brand. If you want to sell an expensive course in watercolor painting you’ll need to be seen as someone with the authority to teach others on the topic. If you want to get work for high-end design clients you’ll need to be seen as a runaway talent with a professional attitude.

Run a blog or website that is all you. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ It doesn’t matter if it’s not your first priority, or even your second priority, but it gives people a place to develop a stronger connection with you. Here are some content guidelines: o Include a mini

-bio at the end of each post, put time and effort into your About page and use it to paint a picture of your ideal personal brand. People will only remember a few things about you, so focus on telling the story that contributes most to your brand. Use your personal story as the basis for your expertise.

Try to be personally ubiquitous without overstretching or over-exposing yourself. ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ If people hear your name enough they will check you out (maybe not the first, second or third time, but they will). This means that you need to participate in social media.

Keep your brand fresh. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ No matter how good your content is, you’ll risk seeming stale and repetitive if you don’t continue adding new elements to your brand. You can’t ride one idea forever. Keep adding new layers to what you represent.

Continue learning and updating your knowledge, especially if your expertise is based around the online world. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

The web changes drastically from month to month. If you were an ‘expert’ two years ago but have since stopped learning and challenging yourself, you’re not an expert anymore.

Don’t just agree with other people you admire. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ . In doing so, you’re building their personal brand, not yours. Focus on topics where you have something new to say or some more value to add.

Get people talking. ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Think about your personal brand each time you interact with someone - or don’t interact with someone. What impression are you leaving them with? If you don’t want to spend time responding to tweets and emails, there’s no reason why you can’t make this part of your personal brand so that people do not expect differently. If you only have the time to answer 1/4 of the emails you get, why not mention this (with apologies) on your Contact page? The greatest source of negative feeling in these situations is disappointment. If you make it clear that you intend to behave in a certain way people have little right to be disappointed when you do so.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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relationships

To pull off a first date, consider the following: Be Yourself: Always

impress

on the

first date

be yourself, regardless! If you are a shy person, present yourself as a shy person, if you are an extrovert who loves to talk, do that. The goal is to show that you are completely comfortable with yourself. Remember that only a person who loves himself has the ability to love others.

Confirm Early and Be Punctual: Call

your date well in advance to confirm. Call her Friday evening to confirm the Saturday night date. Remember that waiting time can grow into a time of anxiety and frustration for the girl which will reflect in the date.

Make her/him Feel Comfortable:

By Athan Tashobya

Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. Going out on a date with someone for the first time can be an extremely fulfilling experience but it also brings with it a whole lot of nervousness. Both men and women are prone to feel some butterflies in their stomachs or a slight case of jitters. If you are feeling too nervous just admit it to the other person. This will help break the ice and you will automatically feel more comfortable and relaxed.

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Show your approval by complimenting you partner. Telling your date ‘you look great’ or ‘this dress looks great on you’ should be good enough. But do not overdo it and always mean what you say from the bottom of your heart because it shows.

Take the Lead: Bro,

you are the man so you have to make the plans. Asking a woman what she would like to do is a wrong way to go. So make the reservations in advance

and take control of the situation. Let the woman relax and enjoy herself and just follow your lead instead of thinking about what to do next. If you are planning for a surprise, give her a hint of where you intend to take her so she can dress for the occasion. Make sure to pick up the check and don’t be stingy with the tip. Remember that she will be watching.

Remember that there are topics you don’t need to open up about on a first date. Topics

Pay Attention.

Be Honest. If you’re aiming for a long run possibility, then be honest on the first date. If you are a single parent, then say so. Tell them what is important to you.

If you give it, you get it. This seems like an obvious concept but it’s rarely practiced. Attention sometimes can be easily swayed especially when you are in a crowded room. You didn’t come out to mingle; you are out because you want to know if the two of you got something together.

Getting to Know You- Ask questions. Prospective or not, you ought to know a little bit more about your date than their name. Get to know your date by asking questions but be careful what you ask. Some questions are just not suitable on a first date. Anything related to family background is safe. However, a work related topic can sometimes be sensitive. The first thing to remember when you’re meeting with that dude or girl for ‘a date’ is that it’s not an interview. Please!

like your Ex’s. It’s not pleasant in ones own ears about another person that no longer matters. Also, what is interesting for you might not be interesting for your date so don’t talk about work or try to explain what you do at length.

The Bill- gesture gentlemen take upon themselves. It is an unspoken secret that a man takes care of the bill. This act is not obligatory for the men.

Be thoughtful with your attire and present yourself well. A first date is like a job interview. You have to impress the person in front of you. If you don’t find your date interesting, then still be kind.

Enjoy the date. Enjoy the companionship. There is something about a person who is having fun just because.

End the Date Right: If you thought

the date was dumb, tell her/him that it was great meeting her/him and thank her/her for coming. On the other hand, if you think you hit on the right one; tell her that you had an amazing night (and perhaps you can ask to meet again).

Some of the miscellaneous things to It is nature that remember are, be brings men and women together and courteous, polite, don’t the power of nature be picky, is immense. Ladies and don’t need to worry about good night kisses understand and so forth. When this. When you and your you find the right person date receive the bill, let and when the frequencies the man take it. However, resonate, you will know. offer if you can help. More It is nature that brings men and women together often than not, he will and the power of nature kindly decline your offer. is immense. So stop Be appreciative and do worrying and start looking not forget to say, “Thank forward to your first date. you...” Have fun! Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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relationships

So they have cheated

what happens next? By Lillian Gahima

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

relationships Cupid should have created some charm to address cheating in relationships. I underestimated the rage of a betrayed spouse until I read recent news feeds of lovers who have committed suicide and those who have murdered their unfaithful partners. Recently, a Rwandan woman hacked her mother to death on nabbing her pants down, in bed with the woman’s own husband. In neighbouring Uganda, a university student recently set herself ablaze on learning of her boyfriend’s infidelity. In the West, crimes of passion are common.

Whereas nature dictates silence as we plot revenge against the unfaithful partner, coping with the situation is challenging, to the most courageous heart. Treasured moments, love and memories vanish in a flash as restless partners pursue peace. Rebuilding trust from tattered ruins becomes even harder when victims want to stay. Other factors constant, only the frail heart would let cheating ruin their entire life, wouldn’t it? These little steps are a prior solution to address a cheating situation or even spouse: Ask questions: before confronting the cheat, asking personal questions to oneself gives some sort of relief. The likes of; why did he cheat? What was I doing wrong? How should I go about confronting him? Why didn’t I trust my intuition? These mind questions and their answers are the first step in coming to terms with the situation and forging a way ahead.

The cheating feud between a Ugandan Princess and her AfricanAmerican husband Thomas, is one we can all relate to. Thomas took to social media to name his wife a heartless prostitute, Don’t make major a cheat and a decisions yet: you long-suffering have realized victim of Other that your herpes. factors Ruth in constant, only the loved one has cheated and return frail heart would definitely, revealed let cheating ruin it’s a crisis. the their entire life, You don’t want husband wouldn’t it? to make major was a cheat, decisions while in such and a violent a dilemma. You may pack control freak whom she your bags and leave but was about to divorce. deep inside, what you

feel is fear and confusion. Don’t call it quits yet, instead read a book, visit friends, anything to keep you busy until you are sure of how to address the situation. Create a support team: the support team could be a therapist, a best friend you can tell about the situation or Godly intervention; most important is that you are able to off-load some of the emotions and questions to a trusted party.

no matter what you never did right, you did not cause the cheating. This person had all the time to talk, communicate or even call it quits before cheating. Self blame will actually get matters worse. There is more to life: whether you make-up or quit, there is a reason to live. You alone are a gift, with some additions like children, a loving family, friends, a job that you love.

Revenge is useless: a Brutus is definitely not Consider logistics: cheating worth your time. The best or no cheating, life goes revenge is letting go on. Things need of such people. to get done. Confronting Banish Chores need and self-pity and to get done. insulting blame: no matter If you are them what you never emotionally every did right, you did hard hit, you now and not cause the could make then will cheating. arrangements only drain for someone else your energy to take over until you feel and give them the better. importance they don’t deserve. On the other Confront the cheat: now hand, plotting revenge is that you have come to a sign of destitution and terms with the situation, clearly shows you are not you can go ahead and over the situation yet. confront the cheat. Sitting on the information will not And as you clearly resolve make you feel any better. the whole cheating And as you confront, situation, it’s relieving don’t let anger reign. to know that you are Control your language not alone. Many cheat and emotions as much for emotional support, as you can. Listen to financial issues, job whatever they have to say, security, but no matter perhaps that could help the justification, it’s still the understanding of the cheating anyway. situation better. Banish self-pity and blame: Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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fashion

man talk

Sexy &

smart are two opposites

I was riding with a male friend over the weekend when he suddenly pulled over. The object of his fascination was a semi-nude girl he had spotted and his comment was, “Wow, she is very smartly dressed!” By Lillian Gahima I begged to differ; the girl in question was looking sexy but not smart at all. She had a cleavage that would corrupt a Pope, and the overly tight skimpy skirt wouldn’t let her walk freely anyway. After a word battle, I convinced my friend that smart and sexy were two opposite things. I am forced to blame it on ignorance when the sexy dressing style is transferred to places where smartness would apply. A month ago, I was treated to embarrassment when I visited a bank, where one of the tellers had revealed more than a reasonable customer would have loved to see. She was clad in a decent pair of heels, her baby sister’s skirt {probably} and a see through blouse, on a Tuesday, for crying out loud. Now, the girl who had caused havoc in my friend’s head was well placed and 34

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dressed. It was a weekend and probably she was going out with friends, but not the banker. It’s only common knowledge that banks are corporate organisations with a reputation, and corporate work of course needs some decent clothes at least during working days. At the bar, the beach, on a weekend, a girl has all rights to dress sexy and feel good, but when sexiness gets to the work place, a corporate outing or a business meeting, there is a problem. Meanwhile, the compliments always zero to, “you are smart” when in actual fact a girl is half dressed. I have had a fair share of such compliments myself, but the prize winner is a seemingly grown man who came up to me while I was at the beach in Gisenyi , dressed in a bikini, and said, “You are so smart, I love your beach dress.” Really?

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

Women indeed misplace dressing while men misplace compliments. I don’t mean women shouldn’t dress sexy, BUT telling apart sexiness and smartness will save all of us the embarrassment of dressing semi-nude when attending to serious business. It’s worth noting that it’s the brain that counts, not our physical features. Probably the confusion accounts for the skimpy dresses in corporate places! My school of thought suggests that to be smartly dressed means decent dressing, at least not too revealing. Something not too tight or skimpy. Something that brings out the power in a woman, not vanity. And yes, a dress that could compare with the male suit, the way many flight attendants dress or lawyers dress.

Modern Day

Chivalry By Jesse Kimani

A couple of months ago, a debate on a local radio show raged on how chivalry is dead and that men no longer treat women as well as they used to. On this show, chivalry by the hostess’ standards was a soap opera script, probably explaining why she is still single despite her advanced age. We are in Africa and no African man was brought up to look all dolled up and always singing to their women or buying them flowers all the time. Chivalry according to the African man however reads from a different script and hence cannot be likened to a soap opera. To this man, chivalry is the way he provides for his family day in day out because at the end of the day, the wife and kids look up to him. Hence a man who does not provide for his family is not worth the title. A culture that frowns on men who are nonproviders explains why any African man would be ashamed if he is not able to provide for his family and would therefore go to great lengths to ensure that he caters as best as he can for his family.

And for a man, his family extends to more than just his nuclear family into his extended family. This man will always ensure that his family gets the best of what he did not have and thus strive to ensure that even when his kids grow up, they will achieve much more than he did. Flowers simply will not quell his family’s thirst. He however stands by his woman and family protecting them and ensuring that no harm comes to them. He will always face danger in the name of protecting his family even when they are picked on by extended family members. In the olden days, it was the men

who always went out to fight so as to ensure their families’ safety. If that is not chivalry then I do not know what is. The African man knows the value of his woman and would thus follow all the laid down traditions to ensure that he gets the woman that he desires. He will work hard and go the extra mile to get her as well as raise the necessary bride price. He knows that he is not buying the lady to be his property but as a sign of respect and appreciation to the parents and also show the value and regard with which he holds her.

In a world where the standard or measure of a man is being measured more and more by what he has in the bank, what he drives and how he looks, we are losing sight of the small things that make a man. Many of the men who have met today’s warped so called ‘society standards’ end up not being men of honor. Many end up philandering and totally neglecting their families. And it is this that has led to many an illicit affairs or to men who are more metro sexual and are competing for space with ladies at the salon. With this comes the issue of men not being men enough but that is a story for another day. Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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family law

Legally speaking What is marriage? By Fred Nkusi

Today, there are two competing views of marriage: A traditionally legal view: marriage is defined as a union of a man and a woman who make a A traditionally legal view: marriage is defined as a union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is inherently fulfilled by bearing and rearing children. The spouses seal 36

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

(consummate) and renew their union by conjugal acts― acts that constitute the behavioral part of the process of reproduction, thus uniting them as a reproduction, thus uniting them as a reproductive unit. Similarly, the Rwandan Constitution of 2003 as amended to date, in its Article 26, paragraph 1, recognises a marriage of a man and a woman. In this respect, marriage is valuable in itself, but its inherent orientation to the bearing and rearing of children contributes to its distinctive structure, including norms of monogamy and fidelity. In this view, a question can be raised: Is real marriage only the union of husband and wife? As many people acknowledge, marriage involves: first, a comprehensive union of spouses; second, a special link to children; and third, norms of permanence, monogamy, and exclusivity. All three elements point to the conjugal understanding of marriage. Regarding conjugal right, which forms the centrepiece of marriage,

is incorporated in Articles 197 and 198 of Rwanda’s Civil Code Book II. The conjugal view embodies organic bodily union. This is because the body is real part of the person, not just this costume, vehicle, or property. Human beings are not properly understand as nonbodily persons―minds, ghosts, consciousness― that inhabit and use non personal bodies.

kind of bodily union—is required. People’s bodies can touch and interact in all sorts of ways, so why does only sexual union make bodies in any significant sense “on flesh”? Our organs—our hearts and stomach, for example, are parts of one body because they are coordinated, along with other parts, for common biological purpose of reproduction.

Likewise, because our bodies are truly aspects of us as persons, any union of two people that did not involve organic bodily union would not be comprehensive―it would leave out an important part of each person’s being. Because persons are body-mind composites, a bodily union extends the relationship of two persons along an entirely new dimension of their being as persons.

The second aspect of marriage is specially linked to children: most people acknowledge that marriage is also deeply an important sense, uniquely oriented to having and rearing children. How can we fathom the special connection between marriage and children? Marriage is largely formed on its orientation to procreation; it involves developing and sharing one’s body and whole self in the way best suited for honourable parenthood—among other things, permanently and exclusively. According to a study conducted by the Brookings Institution, the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University showed that “[t] he advantage of marriage appears to exist primarily when the child is the biological offspring of both parents.” However, this is not to say that the marriages of infertile couples are not marriage.

This necessity of bodily union can be seen most clearly by imagining the alternatives. Suppose that Rafael Nadal and Maria Sharapova build their relationship not on sexual exclusivity, but on tennis exclusivity. They pledge to play tennis with each other, and only with each other, until death do them part. Are they thereby married? No. Substitute for tennis any nonsexual activity at all, and they still aren’t married: sexual exclusivity—exclusivity with respect to a specific

The third aspect, which supplements the inherent orientation of conjugal union to children, of permanence deepens and extends whatever reasons spouses may have to stay together for life and to remain faithful. A contemporary view (revisionist view): marriage is the union of two people, whether of the same sex or of opposite sexes, who commit to romantically loving and caring for each other and to sharing the burdens and benefits of domestic life. It is essentially a union of hearts and minds, enhanced by whatever forms of sexual intimacy both partners find agreeable. The state should recognize and regulate marriage because it has an interest in stable romantic partnerships and in the fundamental desires of spouses and any children they may choose to rear. However, majority of the developing countries have vehemently opposed same-sex marriage as immoral and unreligious as contravening their cultures, values and traditions. By contrast, a number of developed countries, including USA, Sweden, France, UK, Australia, Spain to mention but a few, have recognized same-sex marriage as one of the human rights regarding choice of marriage type.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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relationships

relationships Today, marriage in Rwanda has become as western as it gets. Some would most likely praise my people for advancing with the trends while others would criticize us for selling our culture. Honestly, I can’t decide which would be truer. In light of the stories I heard from my lovely grandmother, I can’t help but yearn for the days of my fore fathers and the togetherness of their culture. Maybe I should share her tales with you. Hopefully, you can help me decide and lift me out of this moral dilemma.

The sheer beauty of traditional marriages A custom we must hold on to

Marriage is a socially recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes their rights and obligations between each other, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. By our correspondent

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

She always started her stories with the same introduction, “Mwanawanjye, Keramugihecyabasogokuru” (My son, back in the days of your grandfathers) and it still surprises me how that phrase never got old. She told me how girls and boys weren’t allowed to socialize the way we do today; how boys looked after the cows while the girls were groomed by their mothers and aunts while also being trained and empowered with different skills such as weaving, sewing and other household chores. These were to later be used to take care of their husbands. She always emphasized how marriage was such an honor back then, so much that it was always done with guidance and support of both parents.

According to grandma, because marriage in her time was done at such an early age, most of the decisions were made by parents. I can’t say for sure but I believe she once said girls were eligible for marriage at the age of 15 years while it was 17 years for the boys. She also stressed the importance of virginity to the marriage and smiled as she watched me blush and grow shy. Anyway after courtship came the introduction ceremony. Here, the bride’s family would slaughter a cow, brew local alcoholic drinks “Ikigajye and Urwagwagwa,” not forgetting “Umotobe” ( Juice for the children.) The groom’s family also came with brewed alcohol for the girl’s family which they would offer as a sign of respect. The introduction ceremony which is referred to as “Gusaba” (to ask or request) was an official ceremony where the groom’s family, led by their spokesperson, requested the bride’s family to allow the groom to marry their daughter. If any of the girl’s relatives had grounds to intervene, then the groom would be denied a bride. However, this rarely happened in which case a beautiful celebration took place where both the groom and the bride were dressed in elegant “mishana” (Traditional clothing). The

bride however remained indoors until the groom was accepted by her family and she was presented to him to be wed. One of my favorite parts of this tale was the exchange of cattle between the families where the groom’s family gave dowry (Gukwa) and the girl’s family gave her cows to take to her newly acquired family (Gukorongoranya). Sadly, if the marriage didn’t work out, then the bride’s family would return the dowry and this was referred to as “Gukoranura.” The next step was “Gutebutsa” which refers to setting the date for the wedding (Ubukwe). The wedding took place at the groom’s family house. This was a celebration that would officially declare the two married. However, the final step before the bride could move in with her husband and assume her responsibilities was the “Gutwikurura” where the two shared milk, received gifts from their respective families and an aunt of the bride gave her a hair cut. On an East African level, things weren’t different either. Until recently, the most prestigious form of dowry a girl’s family could receive in Rwanda was cows and even though some still practice this, a lot of people are becoming more flexible and open to the idea to other forms of dowry such as land and money among others. In

Uganda, several cultures that naturally preferred various gifts that included meat, food stuffs as well as house hold items are now leaning more on convenient cheques and wire transfers. Even though the traditional part of both local and East African marriages isn’t being ruled out, its importance is being diminished consistently and constantly. Today be it in Kenya, Uganda , Burundi, Tanzania or Rwanda, majority of marriages consist of three steps; the traditional wedding, the religious wedding and finally the civil wedding and it is in this same hierarchy that they are accorded importance. One might argue that the world is moving at a fast pace and marriage must follow suit but I have to disagree. Am happy with technology and advancement facilitating my job or the ride to work but have no joy over it stealing the intimate moments of my life and ultimately my wedding and marriage. I want to say ‘I love you’ instead of sending a heart shaped icon on Whatsapp and I want to write my vows instead of googling the 10 best wedding vows, but above all I want to bring grandma’s tale to reality. I want to enjoy the pleasures of my ancestors. I want my cultural wedding!

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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relationships

L VE is not a game

During one of his lectures one of my lecturers mentioned that in his opinion the first rule of doing business is that you should never hire someone you can’t fire. Literally speaking, most people feel this could apply to love as well other factors remaining constant. However while this will make your transition from in a relationship to single and searching easy it sets you up for failure. It becomes a fill safe or an emergency exit of the sorts if I may say. I believe divorce, friends with benefits, open marriages and all these new norms of this age are slowly becoming the cancer of love and a force of destruction against the institution of marriage. Our fore fathers didn’t have this luxury or should I call it a misfortune?

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

This option of calling it quits anytime lures many to hit the reset button unnecessarily and promotes union for the wrong reasons; money, power and pleasure to mention but a few. The world today is advancing and evolving at amazing speeds and things are becoming easier to do by the day. You can now drive to the office instead of walking, send an e-mail instead of mailing a letter but as much as we hail these aids, their negative impact is a one-way street leading to heartbreak. We don’t take time to know each other anymore because we look up the basic info on each other’s social media pages. We don’t say what we mean anymore, we simply quote lyrics because it’s more convenient. Most of us say love is a game. The Women claim all men are dogs and they will inevitably cheat. The Men say Women are too insecure that they won’t even try to see you for who you are but rather assume an unrealistic cliché that you can’t be faithful. Some believe love is a myth while others claim the days of true love are long gone. The issue however is that we are all pointing fingers or dreaming up scenario’s where we end up hurt

instead of coming up with ideas of how to show our significant others how much they mean to us. We are so determined to catching them cheating while we could prevent them from doing it in the first place. I often ask myself what we are doing and how we could turn this ill fate we are slowly but surely approaching. A wise man once said too much of everything is always bad. I agree that technology is one of man’s most important advancements but when you over use it then you have another thing coming to you. It’s true that applications and social media outlets like facebook, e-mail and skype have often helped halt relationships from falling apart but when they are the back bone of the union then the paradigm shifts completely. If you would rather text than have a conversation and prefer a skype date to a real one then you are better off creating a virtual significant other to fall in love with. So my dear friends what am saying is that we need switch those phones off leave the laptops in the office and take time to show the people we love how much they truly mean

The average human being will prefer an automatic car, it’s easier and more convenient to drive and because of massive demand they are even cheaper than the equivalent manual version. Ask a true petrol head the same question and am sure beyond a shadow of doubt that they will prefer the stick shift. There’s just something about driving manual cars that makes you feel so in control. I guess you could say the gear changes are more electrifying and give the feeling that you and only you are propelling the Love isn’t a game and vehicle forward. that’s why we In that same should never respects gamble with it. It has Love isn’t a game gentlemen if you truly no unit of and that’s why love her measure we should never step away hence we gamble with it. from your can only keyboard, try to show switch off your how we feel phone and take her through affection, for a lovely dinner at her caring and honesty. Most importantly what we must favorite restaurant, go sighting seeing and on that never forget is that love is subject a picnic wouldn’t a transition that involves hurt. Ladies make him his a series of steps. We will favorite meal, tell him you have the good times as love him every chance you well as the bad times. get even though he can Getting over these bumps already see it in your eyes pushes us to becoming and for Christ sake just be better people and at the there for each. Call me same time we are given old fashioned but when it a broad understanding of each that ensures we have comes to love old school is the privilege of reaping the the only way and whereas I admit it’s might be risky, fruits of true love. There playing it safe isn’t very will definitely be bumps rewarding either. and grinds but what lies ahead is worth all the persistence and patience. to us. We need to forget the lyrics of usher’s latest song and speak from the heart saying what we really feel within. We need to stop cutting corners with the internet and actually getting to know each other but above of all we need to be there for each other. Am not suggesting it will be easy but then again nothing good ever comes easy and while am not saying my opinion is a remedy to the problems we all face in love, am sure you agree it’s a step in the right direction.

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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food

LEMONY - MUSHROOM RICE DELIGHT

Talk to

Aunt Umulisa

By Judith Achieng

c) Be different yet live in

As we prepare our palates for the festive fiesta, what better way to usher in the season than with a tantalizing dish of exotic taste of zingy rice served with a healthy grilled fish? Try out this recipe and delight your family and friends.

Ingredients: • • • • • • •

a mugful of long grain rice 250g pack chestnut mushrooms 2 tbsp olive oil 2 large garlic cloves, finely-chopped 5 tbsp chopped parsley 3 tbsp chopped chives finely grated zest 1 lemon

Method 1. Fill a roomy saucepan with water, bring to the boil and tip in a heaped teaspoon of salt - the water will bubble furiously. Pour in the rice, stir once and return to the boil, then turn the heat down a little so that the water is boiling steadily, but not vigorously.

2. Boil uncovered, without stirring (this makes for sticky rice) for 10 minutes. Lift some out with a slotted spoon and nibble a grain or two. If they’re too crunchy, cook for another minute and taste again. They should be tender but with a little bite. Drain the rice into a large sieve and rinse by pouring over a kettle of very hot water. 3. Meanwhile, chop the button mushrooms into smallish chunks and fry in olive oil in a large frying pan over a high heat for 4 minutes until golden. Stir in garlic and fry for 1 minute. 4. Drain and rinse the rice and toss it into the mushrooms with the parsley, chives and lemon zest. Try a little and add salt if necessary.

GRILLED FISH FILLET 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon dried parsley flakes 1/4 teaspoon pepper 4 piece of either salmon or tilapia fillets (6 ounces each) 1 package (5 ounces) spring mix salad greens 1 large cucumber, chopped 4 piece of either salmon or tilapia fillets (6 ounces each) 1 package (5 ounces) spring mix salad greens 1 large cucumber, chopped 1 large tomato, chopped 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese 1/4 cup red wine vinaigrette

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Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

than backbite each other,

years. My husband is a

we tell each other off. I

a) Pray. Pray. Pray. I see

is possible to dismiss them

great guy, having faithfully

have tried in my own way

your family as held captive

completely and keep to

provided for us and looked

to reconcile us but they are

to spiritual and demonic

yourself. Much as the idea

after our family very well.

hell bent on destroying us

attacks. Now, I know this

is tempting, don’t. These are

I couldn’t have wished

all! One of them had serious

may sound surreal but I

now your family members.

for a better husband in

issues and due to death

think this is what afflicts

Find a way to let them know

that respect. The problem

threats, he ran away leaving

your family. Talk a walk

that you do not partake in

however is his family. I am

his wife and children behind.

through their family history.

their petty squabbles even

married into a sort of weird

I thought the family would

Are their uncles and aunts in

though you attend their

family. They don’t seem to

come together to discuss this

harmony? Chances are high

functions and the like.

love each other, always in

issue and see how to help.

they are not. Jesus said such

competition and talking

harmony with the family. It

ties are so strong they need

d) Approach respected

so negatively about one

How wrong I was! They

to be broken through prayer

elders within the family who

another! When you sit with

instead talk negatively about

and fast. Believe that God

are above reproach and

Brother X, he has issues

him. He has been away five

is able to turn the hearts of

discuss this issue with them.

with Brother Y. When you

years and none calls him in

men and women around, get

Who knows, one or two may

meet Brother X with Sister Z,

his hideout to know how he

a prayer partner and start

have a passion as big as

they are discussing Brother

is doing. Instead, life goes

praying seriously. Because

yours to minimize the harm

Y. When Brother Y meets

on as usual. They don’t even

it’s a chain thing, chances are

these members are causing to

Brother X they are discussing

call the wife who is within

high your descendants will

themselves.

negatively about Sister Z.

the city, instead saying she

follow that pattern. Since it

We who are married into

brought this on herself by

so bothers you, you are the

e) Do one significant thing

the home are not left out in

being demanding! I don’t

right person to pray for God

that will cause them to

these mundane issues. We are

want my family growing up

to break this chain.

reconsider. I have in mind

accused of being proud, lazy

like this. I am fed up.

and all sorts of words which

Joanne

the brother who is in hiding. b) You are on point again

Can you begin a campaign

when you say you worry

amongst your friends and

Dear Joanne,

about your children following

relatives to fund raise or

The worst part is that when

You are right in many

in these footsteps. Truth is,

dialogue with his enemies

any of us quarrel with our

aspects. This is not how

we are the products of our

to bring him home. Be close

husbands/wives, they all

families ought to be. And

environment, so yes, there is

to his unfortunate wife who

come together as though

this is one dysfunctional

a high possibility your family

has been abandoned. Let this

Directions

united and totally side with

family without a doubt. I

will follow suit. Since you

venture have your signature

1. Combine the seasonings; sprinkle over salmon. Moisten a paper towel with cooking oil; using long-handled tongs, lightly coat the grill rack. Place fish fillet skin side down on grill rack.

their brother/sister against

understand your frustrations

will have covered them in

written all over it. They may

us, regardless of who is

concerning this family, when

intense prayer as mentioned

not admit it but this action

wrong. Unfortunately, my

compared to where you

above, the next step now

on your part, that speaks

own husband always seems

are coming from. Now that

is to train them in the way

louder than words, may just

helpless against this vice,

you are in, obviously you

they should go. Let them

turn things around.

myself having been a victim

can’t and shouldn’t get out

learn to recognize and reject

themselves out. It is your

once when I left him to go

but look for a way to work

gossip. Teach them to love

record that will speak on

back to my home.

around it. I recognize the fact

genuinely. Should the love

your behalf.

don’t describe us.

Ingredients: • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I have been married ten

2. Grill, covered, over medium heat for 10-12 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. 3. In a large bowl, combine the salad greens, cucumber, tomato and feta cheese; divide among four plates. 4. Top with grilled fish fillets; and drizzle with vinaigrette.

that you have taken a shot

of God envelop them deeply,

Now this is not how we

at reconciliation to no avail.

they will always be different

Do you have queries? Send

were brought up. Ours is a

The following suggestions

and seek to effect a change

them to auntumulisa@gmail.

cohesive family and rather

should work:

amongst their cousins.

com Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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pictorial

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pictorial

Dec 2013 - Feb 2014

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Your Feedback! and seeing those I enjoyed reading the previous issue that covered Kwita Izina events nature. Thanks Diva for great photos of gorillas and baboons. As a matter of fact, I love Bright, Kimironko. giving us much more to read about than gender issues! - Mutoni

THE DIVA team wishes you a merry Christmas and a new year filled with joy, love, tranquility and fulfilled dreams.

I read; it had I guess the best story was about Kwita Izina in the previous issue of course Isaiah these couple of celebrities and my favorites are Ramsey Nouah and ro. Gacuri Olga, Washington. It was a nice piece for sure. up in the Diva There are a couple of inspirational stories that have been coming d in two engage got issues. One I applaud is about a female combatant who a nice such different liberation movements… am sure Hollywood would make to write a movie out of her life experience. I think you should encourage her book about her life experiences. Sandrah Hullson Kicukiro. s stories The Diva is indeed an inspirational magazine. It covers individual succes read have I cause. s succes a for that can easily move you and raise your hopes of r (winne iza Iribag e issue after issue right from the one that covered Clariss and n warde Inspire Africa) to the recent one that covered a gorilla veterinary e, Gikondo. Nemey tion. inspira of touch magic honestly, all these pieces have a

CALL US TODAY: +250 788 57 49 13, EMAIL: thediva@gmail.com, falcongn@gmail.com

Rwanda. The I must say women are lucky to have this source of information in exclusive Diva magazine makes us (men) develop jealousy; I wish we had an Am looking issue. 10th the to it men’s magazine. Well, congratulations you made a. forward to reading more from you!” Gilbert Asiimwe, Remer Am Congratulations The Diva magazine for making it to the 10th issue. in women sure you have positively impacted the Rwandan society and particular. Dolce, Kanombe. devotional God bless you Diva team for allowing in your magazine a couple of all the articles. These articles have blessed me as an individual and I hope nal devotio of more having to d forwar readers have been blessed. We look pieces. Peace Mbabazi, Kabeza.

Compiled by, ATHAN TASHOBYA.

You can pick your free copy at all Bourbon Coffee outlets, Ikirezi Book Shop & Kigali Public Library 46

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