COVID-19: On the Frontline

ON THE

OF ONE OF THE FIERCEST BATTLES

By Cecilia Pestana “Do not fear, for I am with you, I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

PASSION

After finishing matric I moved to Cape Town, from the Northern Cape, to pursue my studies in photography. However, in the first year of studying photography I decided I wanted to do something more meaningful and the following year I started studying nursing at Tygerberg hospital. During my second year of studying I was invited to a Charismatic church by a friend and encountered Jesus Christ in a radical manner. It was like falling in love for the first time for me because I realized that I could actually have a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ and not just live according to the Christian rules.

PROFESSION

Nursing proved harder than I could imagine. As a young, carefree young lady I was suddenly confronted with life and death situations, sickness and the side of life that people normally shy away from. During this time my faith in God kept me strong as I was suddenly removed from the carefree life I was accustomed to. I worked, studied and had very little free time. I was determined to finish what I started and in December 1999 I completed

my four year course which qualified me as a Registered Nursing Sister (Community, Paediatric, General and Midwifery). I furthered my studies and obtained a higher diploma in Theatre technique and in 2004 was a

AS A CHILD OF GOD I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH AN UNKNOWN ENEMY, BUT INSIDE MY HEART I KNEW THAT GOD HAS PREPARED ME THROUGHOUT MY WHOLE CAREER TO BE STRONG, COURAGEOUS, TO WALK IN BOLDNESS IN THE MIDST OF FEAR!

specialist in my field of theatre nurse. I’ve been working in this field for 20 years and am currently working for a private healthcare group called Advanced Health Day clinic. Here I was promoted to second in charge of the facility and together with the facility manager we continue to work in our field of expertise to provide excellent health care to our patients before, during and after surgery.

PURPOSE

When news came of the pandemic starting in China and moving over the globe, we as healthcare professionals experienced an anticipation of an unknown, a sudden invisible enemy that would soon breach our shores. There was relatively very little knowledge concerning the Covid-19 virus and I was set out to gain as much information as possible regarding the spread of the virus in preparation for what was coming. When the lockdown started we were plunged into the reality of the pandemic and had to do extensive training with our staff on preventative measures and on wearing PPE and do what we were trained to do so well. Not only did we have to deal with the virus but we have to constantly confront our own fears. Daily we are faced with the danger of contracting the virus and transmitting it to our families. We are forced to tend to our own anxieties. As a child of God I came face to face with an unknown enemy, but inside my heart I knew that God has prepared me throughout my whole career to be

strong, courageous, to walk in boldness in the midst of fear! I can confidently declare with the Psalmist David “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil…” God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of boldness and a sound mind!

Fatigue is the order of the day and as mother and wife it becomes difficult to come home from a stressful day at work and having some energy left for my family. Throughout this time God taught me to continue to pray, to spend time worshipping Him anywhere and anytime and to confess that it is well with my soul! The scripture that comes to mind is Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you, I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Your support in prayer and encouraging messages during this time is much appreciated as we daily fight for the ones that cannot fight for themselves. Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrica!

ON BLENDED KNEES

“A Blended Family that Prays Together Stays Together” By Sherna Abrahams

My husband and I have celebrated 15 wonderful years of marriage this year. We have 3 children ages 12, 18 and 19. When we met my son was 3 years old and his daughter 4 and to our surprise they share the same birthday. And so our journey of a blended family started. Even though the blended family is very common these days in the modern family setting, it’s not often spoken about. There are many struggles and misunderstandings between newly married couples about the kids. Who disciplines? Whose complaints do you entertain? Whose side do you choose? Husband or wife, or the kids? It was very hard for us. It took us about 7 years to find our flow in the blended family.

One of the challenges was when the kids visited with the other parent. My husband’s daughter visited with us every second weekend. We coordinated my son’s visits with his dad so that they would have weekends together. When my son would return home from his weekend visit with his dad, it would take a while for him to feel at home us again. He would be very quiet and not really mix with us. I decided to just leave him and allow him to work through his feelings. It was the same with my husband’s daughter. It was as though the kids, as little as they were, felt obligated to choose sides. It was hard and emotionally draining for them. Seeing this, we decided that we would never discuss the other parents in the children’s presence. We also had a rule never to question them about their mom and dad or what they did during their time with them. We made them understand that their other parents were not our enemies.

We constantly had to rebuild in certain areas and it was hard but it paid off after a few years. During the early years, my husband’s daughter always felt that she

needed to spend time alone with her dad when it was her weekend with us. We agreed to make the kids understand that we were a unit. We also never referred to either of them as step children. When people asked how many kids we have we always said three. We had our baby together in the second year of our marriage.

For me, one of the most important stigmas to move away from is the wicked step mother or stepfather. The picture we paint to our kids relating to this is very important and will determine how they relate to the parent. It’s important to instill confidence establish their place as children and their importance in the family unit. As little kids, it was normal for them to feel that they want both their own parents to be together. We explained to them in the best way possible that things did not work out and that we are happy together and building a family. We told them they were

“IT’S IMPORTANT TO INSTILL CONFIDENCE; ESTABLISH THEIR PLACE AS CHILDREN AND THEIR IMPORTANCE IN THE FAMILY UNIT.”

privileged to have two mommies, two daddies and more siblings. We did all this while they were little. My eldest son complained to me the other day about our youngest son. He said my husband is spoiling him. I asked him this question: “do you feel it has to do with the fact that you are the “step” son?” he looked at me with the utmost confidence and said: “no, not at all” This one answer made me understand that we have indeed achieved great victory over the “blended family” struggle!

SINGLE ON PURPOSE

“Falling in love with myself first would enable me to love others” By Celino Swartz

I read something profound while I was scrolling through Pinterest one afternoon. It stated “Psychology says: If you are not happy single, you will not be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not from people”. Yes! Finally; something that resonated with me, articulating my core beliefs as a purposefully single person. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. How can someone, with a personality that is larger than life, still be single? Well, I learned that my upbringing might have had a lot to do with my fear of commitment. I did not love myself and could not trust others

with my heart as a result.

I grew up in Elsies River and I lived with my parents, my two sisters and my niece. I grew up in a very abusive household and it had two very shocking effects on me which are contradictory in comparison to each other. The one effect that my upbringing had on me was to help others to not feel isolated and disconnected from people or the environment around them. I use to feel alone most of the time whilst growing up. Dr Brene Brown stated: “In the absence of love and belonging there is always great suffering”. Suffering and lack of nurturing made me want to nurture everything and everyone around me even if it was to my detriment. The second effect that my upbringing had on me is that I am not able to see myself being intimate with another person. I had the inherent fear that I wasn’t good enough or worthy of love because the people that I was supposed to

get my identity from couldn’t care less about my emotional, physical or mental well-being. I would always be interested in people who are unavailable in some way because if they were unavailable it would mean that morally I would be able to use this unavailability as an excuse to not commit. The excessive need to nurture and the paralyzing fear of intimacy and commitment made my single life journey dreadful. I knew I was in no position to give or receive love and was ready for the Lord to deal with this aspect of my life and heal me completely.

To date, I have learnt such a lot about myself and my journey of singleness went from gloomy to great. Falling in love with me first is the utmost importance and I know that when I eventually enter the dating world, I will have a whole Cilino to offer my partner. Affirming and loving oneself is hard work that needs to be reinforced daily. Healing is not just a mind-set but a heartset and it takes constant work.