Finding God’s best without shame, fear or negativity. By Robyn Tichauer There comes a point in life – perhaps due to age or circumstances – where your singleness becomes a big deal. Personally, I thought I’d be much older before reaching a point of near identity crisis. I also thought I’d be married by now (let’s all laugh at this one). We lament before God about our frustrations, dying dreams, desires and the unfairness of our situation. We may enviously peer at other couples who seem to taunt us as they hold hands or cuddle up closely to one another.
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY This is often when the worst habit – comparison – sets in. I find myself scrutinising every female, especially those in relationships at church, searching for that hidden flaw. Often, I don’t find any. Everyone seems prettier, thinner, more interesting. To me, these women have everything I want and are everything I want to be. I compare myself to pretty much everyone and fall very short of my self-set expectations. The result? Complete and utter shame. I judge myself into a cycle of negativity. Every look in the mirror becomes one of disgust; every clumsy moment becomes proof of why I’m single and a reminder of my ineligibility as a dating option. I become my own worst enemy, and I often fallen into a pit I dig myself. And my future husband is not the one who can save me. Only God can do that. Falling into this cycle of self-shame, feelings of unworthiness and of comparison, is unhealthy. Not only that, it isn’t what God wants for us at all. I’ve found that the biggest temptation as a single woman is not sexually orientated (like porn or intimacy 58