TO LOVE IS TO LOVE FROM WITHIN

By Maha Chaudhry

Since our younger days, we’ve been exposed to the greatest love stories of all times. It began with the fairytales that were read to us and the Disney prince and princess who depicted love in the most magical way, then it eventually transitioned into romance movies, novels and social media.

We are shown that love is falling in love with someone else, and were conditioned to believe that the greatest love story we will ever have is with another person. But now that I look back in hindsight, I have to say that I disagree.

Although I love, love and believe that there is a special love out there for everyone, I am a firm believer that the greatest love you will ever have is the love you hold for yourself.

And here’s why -

When you love yourself, whole heartedly, you welcome the world to do the same. It sounds pretty easy, but self-love is a journey. It consists of forgiveness, acceptance and unlearning beliefs that date as early back to childhood. It means getting honest with yourself and truly believing that you are deserving of the kind of love you desire. It is then you will better be able to manifest love with respect, admiration and lastly, unconditional love for yourself. Author Louise Hay explained it best herself when she said it is when you love who you are that you bring out the best in you.

I’ve heard many people say that I will be the happiest when I meet the love of my life. The truth is, happiness is yours to claim right now, and it comes from nowhere other than yourself. Does a healthy relationship make us happier? Sure, it can enrich our lives, but, unless we feel good from within, we may struggle to accept the love with receive from others. We may find it instead to be a temporary feeling that will eventually fade or burnout. However, when you practice self-love, you are constantly putting your self-worth to the forefront, which I believe should be a prerequisite for any relationship. For this reason, healing is imperative, especially after heartbreak. It allows you to let go of what no longer serves you, including negative and limiting beliefs, and opens you up to accepting healthy love again. When people neglect healing, they can find themselves in a pattern of disappointment, not being able to clearly understand where they are going wrong. Though you can continue to grow with your partner, as a healthy relationship holds space for growth, it’s still important to bring your authentic self into a relationship - and if that means to heal some wounds in order to give more of yourself to someone, then in that moment, that’s what needs to be done. Remember, what you give out, you get back. Practicing self -love with healing will also allow you to create healthy boundaries.

It is no surprise that the best things in life sometimes come unexpectedly. There’s a reason people say love happens when you least expect it, and that’s because it happens when you are embracing yourself, embracing your own love story with your dreams, goals, desires and the things that bring you joy. When you are doing you, you are flowing in the kind of energy that draws others towards you. And that kind of energy is contagious because it vibrates high.

This Valentine’s Day and always, whether you are taken, single, or unsure, practice self-love by treating yourself to something you enjoy, and celebrate you - your growth, resilience and everything you’ve endured to get to where you are today.

And for anyone who needs to hear this - you are deserving of the love you seek for yourself and from others. Claim it. Own it. Embrace it. Love it.

Like the great Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.” Fall in love with yourself, and love will always be on your side.