By Morgan Stinemetz
you?” Doobie asked. “I was thinking about Tierra del Fuego,” Bubba replied. Doobie scoffed, “Bubba, I have known you for a long time and most of the times you are in here you are hitting up people to buy you a beer. My bet is that you don’t have anywhere near the money to get down near Cape Horn, and then come home. Even if you did, it would take you six months to get ready for a sailing trip like that. I know Right Guard’s bottom was cleaned and painted about six months ago, so that is a plus. On the other hand, going that far in a boat of Right Guard’s size would be pushing the limit of sanity. Think about Tierra del Fuego all you want, but you are smarter than to try.” “Maybe you are right,” agreed Bubba. “But cleaning up my sailboat for a photo shoot is a huge job. My concept is to get people—magazine people and the whole sailing public—to recognize what a valuable asset ferro-cement boats are. Ferro-cement boats don’t take products made from oil to construct them, so they are ‘green.’ That’s fashionable these days.” “Bubba,” said Doobie, “if you want your boat featured in SOUTHWINDS, you are going to have to commit to doing some hard work and spend money on cleaning materials.” “I am aware of that,” Bubba said. “And I know there are people around now who are looking for employment. Maybe I could get some people who might be in this coun-
News & Views for Southern Sailors
try illegally to work for me, off the books. You know, I can speak a little Spanish.” “You can?” “Si.” “Bubba, if that’s the limit of your Spanish, cruising your sailboat to a place at the end of the earth will require you to know Spanish and Portuguese. If you screw up down south, no one will know where you are, because it isn’t like the United States. You don’t get one phone call. And the Brazilians are experts with procedures involving pau de arara, falaka and water pumping. If you made a mistake, you’d be in a world of hurt.” “What are those things you just said?” asked Bubba. “Speak in English.” “You don’t want to know, Bubba,” Doobie said with emphasis. “They make water boarding appear to be child’s play.” “Maybe cleaning up my boat isn’t such a bad idea after all,” Bubba considered. “It would take less time than a trip down to Tierra del Fuego, and then I could get the shooter from SOUTHWINDS to take inside pictures and that will help put ferro-cement sailboats in the conscious minds of a lot of sailors in the Southeast. Lots of people read SOUTHWINDS, right? “I think so,” Doobie replied. “And put away that inflatable doll you have on board.” “Good idea!” enthused Whartz. “I’ll drink to that! How about one on the house?” I’m not making this up. I took notes. It really happened.
SOUTHWINDS June 2013
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