November 2022 SOCO magazine

SOUTH

SOUTH

WESTPORT |

This fabulous post and beam home offers 3,400 s.f. of living space with three bedrooms, 2.5 baths, open concept living and three-car garage set on a professionally landscaped lot of nearly two acres. Contact Chris Hiller at 508.965.8409.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH

Stunning

PADANARAM ACRES

Enjoy the carefree lifestyle of owning a free standing 3 bed/2.5 bath home in condominium ownership within this highly desirable community. Ideally located just minutes from Padanaram’s harbor, shops

restaurants. Contact Maggie Tomkiewicz of Team MCM 508.995.2444.

WESTPORT

Set on

Atherton 617.676.7621.

Spectacular sunsets! Handsome waterfront home sits on nearly 3 acres of rolling lawn on Buzzards Bay. 3 bedrooms and 3.5 baths would make for a wonderful summer or year round home. Contact Sarah Meehan 508.685.8926.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH

508.965.8926.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH

Classic shingle-style,

bedrooms, 5.5 baths, set on 1.31 acres with three-bay

Will Milbury 508.525.5200.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH

Three bed, two bath contemporary seaside residence with deeded access to Stoneledge Beach. Minutes from Padanaram Harbor, shops and restaurants. Contact Maggie Tomkiewicz of Team MCM 508.995.2444.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH

774.319.3401

This

Padanaram Acres—three bed/2.5 bath freestanding Cape in condominium ownership offering a cozy floor plan inclusive of a large first floor Main Bed w/ ensuite, living room w/ fireplace & vaulted ceilings, formal dining area and eat-in kitchen. Association amenities

pool, pickleball & tennis.

Maggie Tomkiewicz of Team MCM 508.995.2444.

1.5+/-

of the

Kevin Quinn 774.319.3401.

november

HOME

The changing face of the Farm; from Massachusetts to Connecticut and beyond, discovery awaits your arrival

WELCOME

It’s the season for connecting with family, friends & community, and the chance to evaluate our progress over the last year

SouthCoast riverfront retreat with breathtaking views and open floor plan offers style, substance, and convenience

PROFILE

Mark Aramli wrestled his way to academic achievement, battled financial titans, and rose to victory. Learn how this Newporter combines family and community into a balanced and satisfying life plan

Some consider it charity, but the work and effort to improve the lives of others seem to be an investment; the importance of Child & Family Services of Rhode Island

thanks, showing respect, and changing how we view the sins of the past

INTIMACY

Making a relationship work requires effort, but are you listening too?

WELL

making life-altering decisions, medical centers creating cash windfalls, and an outraged public trembling; what are the rules for gender reassignment?

AFFAIRS

Hot! Hot! Pack up and head down to the most anticipated event in November— Art Basel is coming to Miami

fraud and corruption in private home health care

Daddona talks about financial planning and insurance and how now is the time to consider your family’s security

2023

GUIDE

When only the “Best” will do, you’ve come to the right place

TRIPS

the season with our selection of must-visit locations

events

Financial Solutions for Life

STEVEN

EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Lynn Palmer

EDITOR Rachel Velazquez ASSOCIATE EDITOR James Holden

CREATIVE CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sue Hough

SERVICES/DESIGN Rebecca Velazquez

PHOTOGRAPHY

STEARNS

Andrew Aaron Linda Bertrum Steven Chan Susan Fletcher James Holden Peet Nourjian

ADVERTISING

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Monthly

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THE FARM COAST

Recently, we journeyed along coastal Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut, including the North Folk of Long Island; the purpose was to explore and discover the unique characteristics of coastlines and farms that attract visitors worldwide.

The task of touring the small picturesque harbors and fishing villages, vast vineyards, incredible farms, and roadside stands offering fresh alternatives to the usual grocery store trip, was eye-opening but incredibly delicious and satisfying.

While it took months to travel and learn about the variety of businesses that make up the Farm Coast and the intricacies of the many businesses that align with rural New England, the satisfaction of meeting these hardworking people can only be described as fascinating.

The Farm Coast is steeped in history; this vast area offers attractions, homes, monuments, and activities that are pleasant to all the senses. Visitors are enamored by the smells and tastes of culinary delights distinctive to the many generations that introduced a diverse collection of ethnic recipes.

Artists abound in every town and village, painting, sculpting, creating textiles, or photographing rural areas known for idyllic pastures, salt marshes, harbors, and beaches; they are the fabric of their communities.

Conservation land trusts have preserved land and historic properties. With these efforts, residents and tourists alike can walk miles and miles through protected fields lined with ancient stone walls, Indian burial grounds, and colonial cemeteries with crafted headstones.

The ocean, rivers, ponds, and coastal islands are perhaps the principal reason the Farm Coast of New England has been on everyone’s radar for decades. With the introduction of the COVID pandemic, home sales rocketed, and families from all regions of the country advanced to the safety and security of the Farm Coast.

Preservation and sustainability are priorities that instill a sense of community. Through locally themed celebrations, fairs, festivals, and musical events, we are continuously reminded of the importance of the intelligent use of natural resources. Aspiring to maintain these areas’ charm and character for future generations is paramount, as is the need to control development on delicate farmlands. The explicit goal is to invigorate neighborhoods and reflect on the delicate balance between the

need for locally produced sustenance and building shelters on historic and pristine lands.

This month’s covers aim to recognize the many gifts found along the rural regions connecting adjoining states.

It also reflects on the changing face of the Farm Coast.

Mobility, choice, and necessity have given rise to a sophisticated view of where to live, work, and play. Through illustrative visuals, we hope to bring attention to areas that will continue to draw those looking for balance, enjoyment, and the continuation of lifestyles bearing satisfaction. H

COVER

We credit photographer Steven Chan, who, with short notice, collaborated with our newest model, Lilly Barnes, to coordinate and design sets, select wardrobes, and plan logistics. We understand the duo dealt with a few unexpected events during the five locations, a 9+ hour shoot, including a pig eating their props, being locked out of a barn, and learning how to start and drive a tractor in a cocktail dress. Then as the sun was setting, there was a lighting malfunction, but they got a good laugh and enjoyed listening to an impromptu guitar performance by a lone musician at Westport Point on the dock surrounded by fishing boats.

Special and deserving credit goes out to Wendy Taylor, Founder & Executive Director of West Place Animal Sanctuary in Tiverton, R.I., and her crew for their assistance, enthusiasm, and weather prediction; the unknown ‘hayers’ who happened to be at the right place at the right time, Weatherlow Farms of Westport, M.A.; and the unidentified guitar player who serenaded our exhausted crew into the night.

REFLECTION & INSPIRATION

In a world running at a pace equal to the speed of data transmission, is it any wonder why we lose track of what is vital and instead focus on survival? The demands of daily living have eclipsed social necessities; the mechanics of family, careers, deadlines, and the pressure to perform a long list of activities, have replaced sitting together at dinner each evening, a Sunday with grandparents, or the teaching of community involvement through participatory activities.

Deconstruction of the traditional family continues, causing the unit to become splintered into singular personalities living under one roof; individuals prioritize their needs over that of the group, agendas are set, and conversations have been replaced by texting. Today’s nuclear family is unrecognizable of past decades, but we found hope and believe you’ll enjoy

learning that not all is lost.

For November, we focus on the pleasures many in the community find inspirational and attempt to connect personal and career satisfaction with the desire to improve the lives of others.

With evidence, not everyone is in lockstep with a progressive philosophy, dialogue, and practices of questionable childrearing; we investigated both scientific research and attitudinal data, then sought to find what the norm looks like in various communities. It gives us great satisfaction to share our findings.

After interviews and discussions with people from all walks of life, a multitude of generations, and diverse heritages, we were surprised to learn that there is a noticeable return to values, performances of personal integrity, and the desire to be honest with where our compass is directed.

We also learned of the parting between ideology and viability. For years

citizens have witnessed a wild-west show of over-correction and experienced the fear of disagreeing with a small but vocal contingency. However, as the tide slacks, the recognition, and importance of a solid family unit are gaining strength, causing the veil of silence to be pierced.

With hope, the path forward is becoming evident, and change is filling the air. At the same time, the one-size fits all isn’t a consideration; rational and conscientious problem-solving for correcting past mistakes is on the horizon, but restraint will be necessary.

During this holiday season, taking a pause and being thankful for what is good and rewarding is the best alternative to the drumbeat of finding fault and placing blame.

From all of us at New England News + Media, we wish our Veterans of past and present a well-deserved thank you and to everyone, a cherished and memorable Thanksgiving. H

Impressions

DEADLINE DANCING

BY PEET NOURJIAN

IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, YOU WAIT UNTIL TIME’S RUNNING OUT TO FEEL THE THRILL OF FAILING TO COMPLETE YOUR TASK THEN MAKE EXCUSES WHEN THEY ASK

THE MINUTES TICK, THE HOURS WASTE THE CONSEQUENCES THAT ARE FACED IF YOUR ASSIGNMENT ISN’T DONE DISAPPOINTMENT CAN BE SUCH FUN

DEADLINE DANCING IS THE GROOVE WHEN WORK CONDITIONS DON’T IMPROVE THEY LOAD YOU UP AND WATCH THE CLOCK SO JUST FOR SPITE YOU START TO ROCK

ARMS AND LEGS IN FULL EXTENSION YOU’RE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION MANAGEMENT’S EYEBALLS START TO ROLL DEADLINE DANCING IN FULL CONTROL

TWELVE EMAILS AND THE PHONE WON’T STOP TOO BAD I’M AT THE SANDWICH SHOP GIFTED TALENT HAS GOT TO EAT UH-OH, ANOTHER ANGRY TWEET

ADRENALIN STARTS FLOWING TOWARD MY BRAIN ALONG THE SPINAL CORD I DO MY JOB LIKE IT’S A CRIME INSTEAD OF CASH, I’M STEALING TIME

FOOTSTEPS FIND ME, THEY TRY THE LOCK I WORK WITH ONE EYE ON THE CLOCK PRESSURE SQUEEZES THE BEST FROM ME THAT’S WHY I’M WORTH A HEFTY FEE

AT FIVE I COPY, PASTE AND SEND MY DEADLINE BUZZ COMES TO AN END MOMENTS LATER, ACROSS THE SCREEN “THE WORK IS GREAT; YOUR STYLE IS MEAN!” H

A SouthCoast Sanctuary

BY STEVEN CHAN

BY JENNIFER COLLYER; JOEL CORDERO, AERIALS

As they say, no one is making more land, and by no means will you find a spectacular waterfront location in one of the most unspoiled inlets feeding the ocean.

Interested parties will be amazed at the vista offered by the “observation room.”

Much like live art, the expansive land and riverscapes are tantalizing during all four seasons.

s they say, no one is making more land, and by no means will you find a spectacular waterfront location in one of the most unspoiled inlets feeding the ocean.

This rare opportunity to own a well-cared-for residence found at the end of a private lane boasting 2.64-acres of land makes this unique, contemporary-style home worthy of a close look and consideration.

Sitting safely high above the Slocum River in Dartmouth, Massachusetts, this picturesque home provides fabulous views from nearly every room. The interior open floor plan offers a spacious living room, dining area, updated kitchen, a primary bedroom suite with a luxury bath, two additional bedrooms, and a guest bath on the first level.

Interested parties will be amazed at the vista offered by the “observation room.” Much like live art, the expansive land and riverscapes are tantalizing during all four seasons. The mesmerizing comfort of watching the ice build on the banks, and the wonderful reflection of the first snow, to a spring thaw is pure poetry to all the senses.

The interior open floor plan offers a spacious living room, dining area, updated kitchen, a primary bedroom suite with a luxury bath, two additional bedrooms, and a guest bath on the first level.

From these images, it’s evident this property is a magnificent example of being in touch with nature and its many attributes. Views from the multi-tiered decks perched above sloping topography are breathtaking; wildlife abounds from a source of food and refreshment, making this one of the most distinctive homes in Russells Mills Village.

All the comforts of luxury living are present; privacy, air conditioning, a fireplace, and land to walk.

Adding more value to our feature home is—when sold— approval for a dock over the marsh, reaching the river, will pass to new owners.

A gem, among others, it could be generations before such an opportunity becomes available.

H

760B Rock O’ Dundee Road, Dartmouth, is offered at $1,195,000 by Anne Whiting of Anne Whiting Real Estate, 250 Elm Street, South Dartmouth. For more information, visit annewhitingrealestate.com, or call Anne at 508-789-0812 or 508-999-1010.

BY STEVEN CHAN | PHOTOGRAPHY OF MARK & IDA ARAMLI BY STEVE CHAN

After the show aired, the company began to manufacture BedJet units, and within the first 18 months, it turned over $3 million in sales. According to Aramli, if the Sharks invested in BedJet, they would have almost quadrupled their money after a year and a half of the episode.

TRIED & TESTED

By no means is the founder and CEO of BedJet frightening or dangerous; he is calm, friendly, and one of the most courageous individuals you’ll have the pleasure of meeting. Engaging and fascinating to talk to, Mark Aramli is the prime example of a person knowing what is ahead of the curve.

Aramli is the prototype of success, but what’s interesting is the billionaire investors from the ABC television series Shark Tank made the ultimate mistake of misjudging the contestant and fueling his desire to succeed.

Aramli has a B.S. in Mechanical Engi neering from the University of Connecti cut and an MBA with a concentration in Finance from Rensselaer Polytechnic University. He’s worked on the spacesuit program for The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), responsible for climate and comfort inside the astronaut’s suits which would face the most extreme and hostile envi ronments known. Aramli also had a role in creating BMW’s first hydrogen-pow ered automobile.

In 2013, at a kitchen table in his home above an ice cream shop on a wharf in Newport, Rhode Island, the inventor designed a cooling and warming sleep sys tem; he says, “It worked from day one.”

Through trial and error, the intriguing product made its way to a third genera

tion and is recognized for its safe and quiet operation and ease of use. It was planned for placement in a luxury cat egory within the sleep-comfort industry.

With significant credentials, experience, and an affable personality, you’d believe he’d be treated with respect and dignity.

ATTACK-ATTACK-ATTACK

After applying for a spot on the Shark Tank stage to face billionaire investors, Aramli learned of the intense efforts required to qualify. He also found out about the pain of raising money to fund the adventure if chosen. But, the most challenging part of the journey was when he waited and waited and waited for an answer.

Finally, on a cold winter day, Aramli received the call and he packed for his appearance.

The entrepreneur made the presenta tion of his lifetime on February 3, 2015 (Season 6, Episode 17—we recommend you take a look). After pouring every nickel he had into his company, mort gaging his home, and maxing out credit cards, he finally had the opportunity to demonstrate and explain the technology he had invented. He offered the group of investors 10 percent of his company in exchange for $250,000 of investment capital—not a lot of money.

What followed could never have been expected; “They hated me and were

rude and ruthless,” according to Aramli. Friends and viewers were also shocked by the aggressive and outlandish comments made by the celebrity investment team.

In reviewing the tape, we noticed the segment began friendly and innocuous as the guest presented his company; he was professional and respectful. Aramli used facts and science to explain how BedJet technology would change people’s sleep comfort while extolling the benefits of the new technology and that it was gaining widespread interest from the largest bed ding manufacturers in the world.

What followed was excruciating to watch; Mr. Wonderful—(far from it), Kevin O’Leary, viciously attacked Aramli from the get-go, throwing out comments like, “To date, you have no sales,” fol lowed by, “The price is nuts,” and “The devil himself wouldn’t pay you that!” Then, as a final jab, he said, “The prod uct is dead already.”

Things became more contentious when the Sharks schooled and created a feeding frenzy; the attack was on. Mark Cuban claimed Aramli was avoiding his ques tions when asked about the technology of his product—which could be argued as proprietary. Cuban continued and, in a derogatory fashion, made a claim some one got to the guest, and the “engineer” had turned into a “salesman.”

Barbara Corcoran wasn’t impressed because she claimed BedJet wouldn’t fit

After the show aired, the company began to manufacture BedJet units, and within the first 18 months, it turned over $3 million in sales. According to Aramli, if the Sharks invested in BedJet, they would have almost quadrupled their money after a year and a half of the episode.

under all beds; then found it funny when her cadre used destructive humor to criticize Aramli and his company.

Robert Herjavec suspiciously echoed Cuban’s need to learn the “Secret Sauce” that went into the product, but when not revealed, like a frustrated child, he said, “I’m out.”

But, the coup d’état, which would be comical if it weren’t woeful, is when Lori Greiner had a hissy fit on-air because her bombasting questions to Aramli made him hesitate. It was evident he was trying to listen to everyone and respond, but she continued to yell questions at him, only to become angry for not getting her way. She opted out because she was hurt.

In all, the embarrassment the stars neglected to feel permeated the home au dience; still, with unprecedented humble ness Mark Aramli thanked each aggressor with a polite “Thank you.”

After the show aired, the company began to manufacture BedJet units, and within the first 18 months, it turned over $3 million in sales. According to Aramli, if the Sharks invested in BedJet, they would have almost quadrupled their money after a year and a half of the episode.

Focused and resilient, BedJet continues to ramp up; evidence of this can be found on their website as it indicates each time someone places an order. At last glance, BedJet units are sold in 40 countries and

operational in over 160,000 homes, with many thousands more on the horizon.

Aramli is confident in the direction he leads the company. He continues to cre ate and design products he hopes to roll out and piggyback on the success of his sleep-comfort invention.

It’s doubtful we’ll see a repeat of past scrutiny.

THE MAN

Mark Aramli is a loving husband, a committed father of three bright and beautiful children, and a good neighbor. Observing the family interact for hours and witnessing his attentiveness, pa tience, and affection went into proving his commitment and authenticity.

On a bright sunny day, while discussing family values with Aramli, I learned that the activity and supportive atmosphere he

and his wife Ida provide their children is far from the lifestyle he knew. His father died when he was young, depriving him of an important role model; they also suffered from a lack of fi nancial resources; harsh realities burdened him and his mother. Aramli recalled, “Food and electricity weren’t considered necessities, they were luxuries, and I remember it being so cold at times, I could see my breath.”

If anyone is self-made, this is the guy. He lived in pov erty, worked his way through school, and had to prove him self daily while relying on his instincts for direction.

While working on developing his prototype and establishing his business, a woman suddenly appeared on his radar. Not looking for a partner of any sort, he explains it was “love at first sight.”

Shortly after meeting Ida, the couple became engaged and set a date to be married. But, as usual, the best-laid plans don’t always see fruition; in this case, the wedding had to be delayed.

The couple shared a story about Mark hesitantly asking for the postponement, not because he didn’t want to follow through but because it conflicted with crucial decisions regarding the company moving forward. Ida explained that at first, she was shocked, but with assuranc es from her future husband, she agreed to alter the plan and joined him in his quest.

THE WOMAN BESIDE THE MAN

Ida Aramli is intelligent, stunningly beautiful, articulate, and gracious. A prac ticing attorney living in New York, she met her future husband in Newport on a girl’s get-away where he was designing his first climate control product.

She told of her exhausting weekend commutes while dating Mark but was willing to make significant sacrifices so she could show him that she was all in as far as the relationship was concerned.

They bantered about Ida’s involvement

in the business, causing Mark to recount, “I wanted her to be out front with me; she has an important role in BedJet;” resulting in Ida to remark with a joyful laugh, “I’m an Introverted-Extrovert, I don’t want to be there.”

It seems Ida’s role is one of support and maintenance of focus. Kind and understanding, she knows what it takes to become successful. Few know Ida was backstage when Mark pitched his need for investment on Shark Tank; naturally excited about his appearance, she could

have never guessed the outcome. In this partnership, she is a pillar of support and Mark’s biggest fan; to see them interact is terrific; their love continues to grow with a bright future in store; the two exemplify a loving family but are also Newport’s newest ‘Power Couple.’

COMMITMENT TO FAMILIES & COMMUNITY

The Aramli family has significantly contributed to philanthropic causes in the Newport community through the BedJet Corporation and the Ar amli Foundation. Focusing on assisting non-profits to deliver their services to the needy, Mark and Ida are especially interested in Child & Family Services of Rhode Island. Year after year, they sponsor or lead efforts to ensure funds are available to provide underprivileged families and children the support they need to live a better life.

Another way Mark is trying to impact his community positively comes with his running for political office, specifically, a position on Newport’s City Council. In a statement we obtained, his platform ad dresses the ongoing housing crisis the city endures, taxes, and government spending. He’s concerned about zoning and district permitting, stating, “The city’s historic district review process has become so dif ficult, inconsistent, and overbearing with its frequency of denials, property owners are forced to hire expensive attorneys to navigate the process. [The] Historic District Commission’s (HDC) denials are frequently overturned on very lengthy appeal processes.”

It will be interesting to learn the result of the election this month.

SETTING AN EXAMPLE

Mark and Ida are making positive changes in various directions; their actions show their sincerity and that patronship doesn’t need a holiday to show compassion and caring. If there was ever a Thanksgiv ing story worth recognizing, we think we found it with the Aramli family. H

BY STEVEN CHAN

Such words have been repeated by many who have made it to the top of their fields or careers, and their actions echo sincere sentiments.

With the knowledge fun draising is vital for non-profits to provide care for populations needing assistance, a group of benefactors came together to support Child & Family Services of Rhode Island at their recently hosted 39th Annual Taste of Newport on Octo ber 23, 2022, at the Wyndham Newport Hotel in Middletown.

An organization serving the commu nity for the last 150 years, it has felt the challenges of a slowing economy and a pandemic.

A prestigious event, patrons enjoyed beverages and tastings from local restau rants, caterers, and vendors, while bid ding on a large array of fascinating silent auction items. Raising awareness and funding that will continue to support the many services the organization provides Rhode Islanders during the upcoming year, there wasn’t any hesitation to step up for the cause.

Such an outpouring of compassion and effort by concerned citizens will ensure those who have felt the impact of a depressed economy will be helped; during a downturn, lower-income families, chil dren, and older adults on fixed incomes are first impacted.

Child & Family Services has become the leader in providing comprehensive support in Newport County and the rest of Rhode Island, and through their comprehensive strategic plan focusing on Family Preserva tion, Best Practices, and Leadership, the future is brighter for those they serve.

Ida & Mark Aramli BedJet & The Aramli Foundation

Widely recognized, the family unit has always been the best means for creating positive outcomes; yet stress, poverty, and crime often interfere with the member’s flourishing. To keep families intact, Child & Family Services focuses on offering parents and children the “tools, skills, and resources to fulfill their aspirations,” within a safe, secure, and healthy environment. According to this non-profit, a “family fully engaged as active partner[s] will lead to the success of preserving the family.”

The organization, established in 1866, is keenly aware that requesting the public’s support means they must show results. For this reason, Child & Family Services is committed to instilling evidence-based practices into its programs. The staff and clinicians are proving they can produce measurable outcomes using ongoing research, measurement, and the evaluation of specific goals.

Generous donors have enabled Child & Family Services to meet two core beliefs; individuals and communities thrive when supported by strong family units, and the community is best when it takes responsi bility for all its citizens.

The honorary co-chairs for the Taste

of Newport were Mark and Ida Aramli, and The Aramli Foundation. According to correspondence with Jennifer Wheli han, Director of Development & Com munications, “The Aramli Foundation is a new private charitable [entity] intended to support families and children in need and is funded directly by proceeds from the BedJet company…enabled by the over 100,000 units sold by the BedJet, and its continued emergence as a national sleep brand.”

The Aramli Foundation’s mission takes on a special task; founded and operating in Newport; its focus is finely tuned to aid chil dren and families in the surrounding area.

Adding to Child & Family Service’s financial foundation are New England News + Media (publishers of this magazine) client, BayCoast Bank, and a list of other individuals, businesses, health-related orga nizations, and educational institutions.

Child & Family Services works diligently with a list of social service agencies and organizations, including the Boys & Girls Clubs of Newport County, the Department of Children, Youth and Families, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center, East Bay Center, and the East Bay Community Action Program among others.

The group coordinates activities and events such as Community Education, Family Fun Run/Walk Activities, Family Fun Days, and Camp Scholarships so these partnerships thrive.

This season is a time for giving, and it makes sense to assist an organization that invests in all of us. H

To learn more, contact Jennifer Whelihan, Director of Development & Communications, at jwhelihan@childandfamilyri.org or 401-848-4141.

“Success can buy you an expensive watch, a big house, and a nice car, but what is truly fulfilling is knowing that you’ve made a difference in others’ lives.”

Giving Thanks— Equitably

BY ROBERT WRIGHT

Stepping back in time and reviewing who, how, or what we should be thankful for is puzzling.

Somewhere between September 21 and Novem ber 11, 1621, a feast was held by recent arrivals to the ‘New World,’ and the indigenous people were responsible for their survival. The multi-day event came together to celebrate endurance and a successful harvest. And while most depictions show a festive atmosphere, we know the tribe who assisted the settlers remained hesitant and didn’t fully embrace the group— it was an issue of trust.

We know the aftermath of what some call “an invasion” and the subsequent massacres. It was a regretful beginning, but not unusual; history has shown the fallibility of human kind; even today, cruelty and ethnic cleansing continue.

On Thursday, November 26, 1789, thenPresident George Washington declared a “Day of Publick Thanksgivin.” During the next 181 years, the holiday was thoughtful and peaceful;

America is divided, the chasm is widening, political differences are hardening, and corruption is reaching an all-time high. We should be concerned about the future as it appears untenable, with new threats exchanged between countries daily.

LESSONS NOT LEARNED ARE TO BE REPEATED

Unfortunately, as a country, we haven’t found a practical and non-violent means to educate citizens about civil rights. Perhaps it is time to remove blame from men no longer inhabiting the earth; using force to influence thoughts and tearing down monuments to erase history seems counterintuitive for improv ing race relations.

The Vietnam War embroiled tempers into hatred for soldiers forced into battle. As was their job, and not loathing a people from another nation, they came back as villains rather than heroes.

however, in 1970, a voice sounded; Frank “Wamsutta” James took the stage at Cole’s Hill in Plymouth, Massachusetts, where he explained the holiday from a Native American point of view; hence, the first National Day of Mourning.”

Surely an important message should be heard, but negative repetition of the same message begins to fall upon deaf ears. Education comes with new thoughts and ideas.

HAS THE MESSAGE PROGRESSED, OR ARE WE NOT LISTENING

Over the last few years, outrage has been expressed over the memorializing of figures having an assembly during the days of slavery. And, while acknowledgment is necessary, in many instances, the outcry has not only been misleading, but protes tors are myopic when only referencing the sins of territories that would someday be known as the United States of America.

Leaving out facts related to those who first initiated the trade and the countries that perpetuated the despicable practice shows a lack of understanding, a highjacking, and the abhorrent ma nipulation of a subject which should cast a much wider net.

In the words of Abolitionist Frederick Douglass, during a speech made on July 5, 1852, at Corinthian Hall to the Roch ester, New York Ladies’ Anti-Slavery Society, he proclaimed his thoughts and those held by people of color regarding the 4th of July holiday. “The rich inheritance of justice, liberty, prosper ity, and independence, bequeathed by your fathers, is shared by you, not by me. The sunlight that brought light and heal ing to you has brought stripes and death to me. This Fourth of July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice; I must mourn.” Here he speaks directly about a specific event that, to many, is a disappointment. Douglass artfully points out the exclusion of his people but acknowledges the establishment’s achievement further into his narrative.

Upon reflection, one would believe the gainful insight offered by Douglass would have expounded into peace, but it was not to be; racism continued and boiled over into the race riots of 1919, leading to the turbulence of the 60s.

We were told the war was necessary to prevent the spread of communism; in hindsight, it was a grave error. What followed was a revolutionary youth inflamed by celebrities and music, leading to widespread protest. Rather than address the root cause—politics, it was easier and safer for the crowd to go after the enlisted.

The fallout from the era marks the most prolonged protest in history (1963-1975). Millions of Americans in conflict resulted in the arrests, violence, destruction of property, and the killing of students, not to leave out the government’s abandonment of returning soldiers and an unsuccessful outcome.

Today, the country remains conflicted, as if nothing has been learned or problems resolved; begging the question, where do we go from here? It would seem that from experience, society should have evolved, and if it has, where is the evidence?

America is divided, the chasm is widening, political differ ences are hardening, and corruption is reaching an all-time high. We should be concerned about the future as it appears unten able, with new threats exchanged between countries daily.

As we approach Thanksgiving, it would be great to acknowl edge what we appreciate and hold dear while extending civility to those with philosophical differences.

TOLERANCE IS A SURE STEPPING STONE TO PEACEFUL CHANGE

Keeping in mind that most people wish to leave a legacy or the very least, depart this world better than how they found it should lead us to follow a word of advice from a new generation and “chill.”

Accepting differences with an omission of extreme reactions and violence is the first step in resolving conflict. With control comes listening and negotiation.

Emotional intensity, while not always easy to control, is para mount in opening a discussion with others.

It’s evident the blame game hasn’t worked; perhaps we use this holiday to reflect on successes and failures of the past and consider a fresh approach to conflict resolution—just a thought.

Happy Thanksgiving. H

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Miami Heats Up

BY EMILY RANDOLPH

Sexy, spicy, and stretches of sand that go for miles. Crystal blue waters, cosmopolitan food to fit every craving. A nightlife and Latin beat make the “city that never sleeps” a go-to location for fashion and glitz; indeed, Miami has it all!

Arguably, what pushes this event over the top is its art scene—notably Art Week, November 29 – December 4. The week-long show and sale hosts over 20 in ternational art fairs, more than 1,200 galleries, and thousands of artists and art lovers.

Miami and Miami Beach, Florida is the platform, and the week’s pillar is Art Basel, North America’s most comprehensive international contemporary art fair celebrating its 20th year in the city. With 283 galleries from 35 countries showcasing works by more than 4,000 artists, this is its largest edition held in Florida to date.

Significant works will be showcased by masters of modern and contemporary art and the new generation of emerging

stars. Here you will find the blue-chip galleries and every celebrity, mover, and shaker under the sun. The preview parties are outrageously legendary, the invitations coveted. Adding to the excitement are the sponsors’ hospitality areas, which allow the opportunity to socialize with like-minded collectors and possibly meet one of the artists on exhibit.

“It is truly exciting to celebrate our 20-year presence in Miami Beach,” says Marc Spiegler, Global Director, Art Basel. “Over the last two decades, our show has not only reinforced its pivotal position in the region—uniquely bridging the art scenes of North and South Americas, Europe, and beyond— but also played a galvanizing role in the city’s profound cul tural transformation. The increasingly diverse range of galleries and artistic voices represented will make our show richer in discoveries than ever before.”

Preview events are scheduled for VIP ticket holders only on November 28 – 29th, with the vernissage on November 30, while the show opens to the public December 1 – 3. It is dur ing these exclusive showings most of the big sales take place.

Besides the top-tier international galleries, there is also a sec

Sungi Mlengeya, Huru, 2021.

Courtesy, Afriart Gallery, Kampala

“Over the last two decades, our show has not only reinforced its pivotal position in the region— uniquely bridging the art scenes of North and South Americas, Europe, and beyond—but also played a galvanizing role in the city’s profound cultural transformation. The increasingly diverse range of galleries and artistic voices represented will make our show richer in discoveries than ever before.”

Dinorá Justice: Portrait Thirty-seven — after Delacroix’s Women of Algiers, 2021 oil on acrylic on canvas, 52" x 58"

Courtesy of Art Basel

Marc Spiegler, Global Director, Art Basel

tion of the fair called “Positions,” featuring 19 solo artists and gallery presentations in which paintings, sculptures, videos, installations, textiles, and research projects will be displayed.

Art Basel Miami has highlighted eight artists as “ones to watch” from all over the world. They include Karon Davis Wilding Cran Gallery, Los Angeles; Sungi Mlengeya, Afriart Gallery, Kampala, Uganda; Lewis Hammond, Arcadia Missa, London; Maya Stovall, Reyes Finn, Detroit; Claudia Peña Sa linas, Curro, Guadalajara, Mexico; Mariana Manhães, Central Galeria, São Paulo, Brazil; Soshiro Matsubara, Union Pacific, London; and Arlene Wandera, Housing, New York City. No table amongst this group is self-taught Tanzanian painter Sungi Mlengeya, who paints portraits of Uganda women against stark blank backgrounds, which she describes as providing “a place of calm, free and detached from social norms and restrictions, real and imagined.”

Besides Art Basel and the many exciting satellite shows, there is also Art Miami, which allows up-and-coming galleries to exhibit and is well worth attending. Names include Cavalier

Ebanks Galleries of Greenwich, Connecticut, and Gallery Naga of Boston, representing many of the most highly regarded painters working in Boston and New England. Gallery Naga’s artist roster at Art Miami includes Nicole Chesney, Dinorá Justice, Masako Kamiya, Martin Kline, Judy Kensley McKie, and Bryan McFarlane. H

There is an exciting array of art in all mediums and styles during Art Week, no matter which shows you attend.

MIAMI BEACH ART WEEK November 29 – December 4

ART BASEL MIAMI BEACH

Private Days: November 28 – 30

Public Days: December 1 – 3 Miami Beach Convention Center 1901 Convention Center Drive Miami Beach, FL 33139

Galerie—Lange and Pult

Meridians—Yinka Shonibare

Meridians—Jacqueline de Jong

Efforts and Results Differ

Even partners in the most troubled relationships make an effort. It is not for the lack of trying that relationships don’t improve. Oddly enough, trying may be part of the problem; unsuccessful efforts lead to hopelessness, resulting in giving up.

Too often, partners confuse effort with effectiveness; they want credit even though their labor did not produce results. And, while every relationship requires work, usually, few endeavors are effective at making a relationship satisfying.

Prevailing beliefs are that a good relationship is easy, natural, and effortless, which may be true initially, but not later. Maintaining a loving connection and goodwill requires a great deal of effort. A substantial part of every relationship is more like work than play; some call this “adulting.” If performed well, the partners will conduct themselves as reliable, dependable, and emotionally safe. If absent, the loving relationship will deteriorate.

Effort alone does not ensure success; couples need to maintain the “work” portion of the relationship for the “play” portion to be protected from toxic emotions.

Well-formed, specific, and sensitive efforts include distinctions that are lost on many lovers. In any instance, only a narrow range of possibilities exist for trying to be effective and produce good feelings. Suppose a female partner expresses love for yellow

BY ANDREW AARON, LICSW

flowers, and her male partner gives her red flowers. In that case, she may appreciate the gesture but feel less important than she’d like because her preference was not acknowledged. The male partner would have missed the opportunity to make her feel loved. His effort is less effective because he failed to address the distinction that would have pleased her most.

Efforts are neither right nor wrong but fall within a range of effective to ineffective; they often express a loving, caring, and considerate intent. Love is delivered when it is shown as sensitivity to another’s needs.

When insensitive, effort will not strengthen the loving connection but instead generate frustration and disappointment. Extreme examples include; cooking steak for a vegetarian, giving a Ford Focus to a partner who dreams of a Porsche, or giving a gift of amethyst to one who desires a diamond. Often, insensitive partners chronically provide incorrectly and accuse the other partner of being impossible to please.

Effort is necessary for a relationship, but shooting the arrow in the target’s general direction has little chance of hitting the bullseye. Make sure your loving efforts are spot on. Only the correct effort at the appropriate time in the proper way will be effective. Otherwise, the love you are sending will not be received. H

Andrew Aaron, LICSW, is a sex and relationship therapist who practices in the New Bedford Seaport.

ARE MINORS PREPARED FOR REASSIGNMENT?

BY ROB SAINT LAURENT, M.ED

Healthcare facilities are coming under fire for offering gender-affirming care to adolescents, raising significant concerns. In particular, Boston Children’s Hospital has been criticized for being “proud to be home to the first pediatric and adolescent transgender health program in the United States.”1

In August, the hospital was in the news for receiving threats of violence after a video claiming it allowed adolescent girls to have “gender-affirming hysterectomies.” The hospital has since made it clear that it only offers gender-affirming genital surgery on people 18 years of age and older, though discussion of surgery can begin at age 17.1, 2

Children and teens can, however, be offered drugs called pu berty blockers that delay the onset of puberty. These hormonal disrupters aren’t without long-term side effects that we currently know of, such as reduced bone density and genital growth, and side effects we may not yet know of.3

The question arises; are minors, even older teens, prepared to make major medical decisions with minds that aren’t yet fully mature?

THE UNDERDEVELOPED BRAIN

Though the law says age 18 marks adulthood, nature seems to say otherwise. Decades of research suggest it can take 25-30 years (some even say 40) for the human brain to fully mature, depending on gender and individual traits.

As reported by BBC News Services, scientists at last year’s London meeting of the Academy of Medical Sciences explained that the transition from adolescence to adulthood is a much more gradual, finer process than we’ve believed. This slow pro cess can influence young people’s behavior and increase their risk of mental health disorders.4

Said Professor Peter Jones of Cambridge University, “To have a definition of when you move from childhood to adulthood looks increasingly absurd, yet we say an 18-year-old can vote, buy alcohol, and be treated like an adult when arrested prob ably out of institutional convenience,” he explained.4

In a comprehensive literature review in the journal Neuropsy chiatric Disease and Treatment, the authors note that MRI stud ies have shown that the development of nerve-protective myelin sheaths needed for proper brain function continues through adolescence, defined as ages 10-24 in multiple studies.5

Two of the brain’s essential structures, the limbic system and prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe, remain immature through

adolescence. The limbic system is thought to be involved in self-control, emotions, and decision-making. At the same time, the closely related prefrontal cortex is believed to be involved in many complex behavioral processes and personality devel opment. Both systems are impacted by hormones; heredity; environment; pharmacology (alcohol, caffeine, etc.); physical, economic, and psychological stress; and other factors.5

The authors explain that an immature limbic system and pre frontal cortex underlies youth’s tendency for excitability, impul sive behavior, bad judgment, and social maladjustment, and “It is well-established that the brain undergoes a ‘rewiring’ process that is not complete until approximately 25 years of age.”5

Renowned youth brain development expert Lawrence Stein berg, Ph.D., is in alignment with Peter Jones when it comes to separating adolescent criminal behavior from that of adults. A distinguished university professor and Laura H. Carnell Profes sor of Psychology at Temple University, Steinberg contends that because adolescent brains are still developing, they may have less control over their behavior than is currently believed. He thinks that while adolescents who commit crimes should be punished accordingly, they should be re-examined as adults.6

For many years, the US federal government and dozens of states have recognized the “changing standards of decency” hap pening worldwide, saying juveniles are not as morally responsible as adults and should not be subject to the death penalty.7

A double standard arises: If we say children are not equally responsible to adults for violent criminal actions because they haven’t fully matured neurologically, should it be permissible for them to make life-altering changes to their sexual nature?

In the journal Pediatrics, Douglas S. Diekema, M.D., MPH, says the current model of informed consent for determining adolescent decision-making capacity in medical situations is inadequate. Respecting adolescents’ decisions needs to be bal anced with the realization that even mature adolescents can make flawed decisions, he says. “Health care providers should recognize that under certain conditions (stress, high emotion) or in certain situations (in which the presence or pressure of peers, family members, or spiritual community members may play a role), adolescent decision-making is often less than op timal (and may be more a reflection of what others want than what they want). In those cases, adolescents may require limits on the kinds of decisions they are allowed to make.”8

Diekema concludes that “[t]he data establish fairly clearly that most adolescents younger than the legal age of majority have not yet attained a level of brain maturation that justifies treating them like adults with respect to significant, potentially life-altering health care decisions.”8

GENDER TRANSITION REGRET

Proponents of gender reassignment research show improved mental health in adolescents who don’t feel their gender identity matches their biological sex, called gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder (GID). Yet, there are numerous examples of regret among youth who feel the medical system failed them.

Chloe Cole is a 17-year-old biological female in California who belongs to a growing number of “detransitioners.” After deciding she was transgender at 12, she was given puberty blockers and testosterone at age 13. By 15, she had a double mastectomy. She realized at age 16 she had made a mistake in attempting to transition to a boy and that she did identify with her natural sex. With lifelong repercussions, she’s now warning others about her experience.

Getting on Instagram at age 11, she says there was heavy LGBT content and activism that showed the overwhelming support and praise trans people received. She was vulnerable at the time and felt persuaded. She told the New York Post,

“I didn’t really have a lot of friends of my own.” She also felt her female body didn’t match her beauty ideals and viewed transitioning to a boy as a solution. Today, she lives with a permanently altered bone structure, increased facial and body hair, and copes with a scar on her chest.9

In Ohio, 23-year-old Helena Kerschner tells a similar cau tionary story. She was an impressionable 14-year-old biologi cal female when gender dysphoria set in, which she says was “definitely triggered” by Tumblr’s rich transgender activism content. After falling out with friends and feeling alone, the group provided her with a sense of belonging but also pressure to conform. “The community was very social justice-y. There was a lot of negativity around being a cis, heterosexual, white girl, and I took those messages really, really personally. I never thought about my gender or had a problem with being a girl before going on Tumblr.” 9

Though supporters say the number of children later regret ting their decision to transition is less than one percent, experts say the original research on the topic is limited, and we don’t know the true scope of future regret given the rise in detransi tion documented by many researchers.10 The only long-term follow-up study of transgender people (30 years) showed a suicide rate 20 times higher than the general population after 10-15 years.11

A RUSH TO REASSIGNMENT

Evidence suggests that the increase in detransitioning is from fast-tracking young people to gender-affirming medical treatment. In a 2021 survey of 100 detransitioning adolescents (mostly female at birth), 38 percent of respondents realized their gender dysphoria was due to an underlying mental health condi tion, trauma, abuse, or other condition-specific causes. Yet, 55 percent felt they weren’t adequately evaluated beforehand, and just 24 percent told their clinicians they had detransitioned.12

Since medical professionals generally abide by the affirmative care model, there’s often no accurate mental health evaluation before prescriptions are given. For example, Cole and Ker schner struggled with poor self-image, which went unaddressed prior to their transitioning. “The professionals all seemed to push medical transition, so I thought it was the only path for me to be happy,” said Cole.9 If a child’s underlying mental health or other personal issues aren’t addressed beforehand, experts say the medical system has failed.

Amidst heavy controversy, regional hubs will replace Lon don’s infamous Tavistock Clinic, solely responsible for the UK’s gender and identity services for adolescents.13 Marcus Evans was Clinical Director of Adult and Adolescent Services for Tavistock and NHS Portman Trust, but stepped down several years ago over what he saw as hasty and unnecessary medi calization of gender dysphoric youth. “I saw children being fast-tracked onto medical solutions for psychological problems, and when kids get on the medical conveyor belt, they don’t get off. The politicization of the issue was shutting down proper clinical rigor,” Evans explained.9

Like Diekema, Evans doesn’t think children can give informed consent.

AN EMERGING CRISIS

In just the past decade, the UK has seen over a 4,000 percent jump in young girls experiencing gender dysphoria, with boys at 1,000 percent.14, 9 In the US, the number of transgender children has doubled since 2017, according to a recent estimate, at 300,000 individuals.15

It’s unclear what’s causing the dramatic rise, but researcher Lisa Littman, M.D., MPH, who authored the 2021 detransi tioner survey, says adolescent girls are especially susceptible to

social media pressure that she believes can cause sudden gender dysphoric feelings around puberty.9 Research also suggests that besides the brain, gender confusion may have hormonal causes that happen in the womb, genetic causes, or it could be due to deficiencies in human bonding and child-rearing.16

Chloe Cole knows first-hand that surgery and cross-gender hor mones are not reversible. Further, not all experts believe the effects of puberty blockers are reversible after stopping treatment.17

Some nations have instituted psychotherapy as a first-line treatment for gender dysphoric individuals under age 18. Research suggests a large percentage of dysphoric minors can ultimately accept the gender they were born with without tran sitioning, known as desistance.9

As we continue to entrust children with changing their sex, the number of those who regret their decision will inevitably rise. It’s an issue that should transcend politics and culture wars and spur us to think more critically about the long-term welfare of children and the root causes of their gender dysphoria before exposing them to lifealtering therapies. H

1. Boston Children’s Hospital. (n.d.). Center for Gender Surgery.

2. Solis, S. (2022, August 18). Boston Children’s Hospital faces threats over gender-affirming care. Axios Boston.

3. St. Louis Children’s Hospital. (n.d.). Puberty Blockers.

4. BBC News. (2019, March 19). People don’t become ‘adults’ until their 30s, say scientists.

5. Arain, M.; Haque, M.; Johal, L.; et al. (2013). Maturation of the adolescent brain. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 9, 449-61.

6. Kaiser, E. (2012, November 14). 6 facts about crime and the adolescent brain. Minnesota Public Radio News.

7. Beckman, M. (2004, July 30). Crime, Culpability, and the Adolescent Brain. Science Magazine, 305.

8. Diekema, D. S. (2020). Adolescent Brain Development and Medical Decision Making. Pediatrics, 146 (Supplement_1): S18-S24.

9. Schlott, R. (2022, June 18). I literally lost organs: Why detransitioned teens regret changing genders. New York Post.

10. Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine. (2021, November 2). Gender-Dysphoric Adolescents and Gender Transition Regret: What We Don’t Know.

11. Dhejne, C., Lichtenstein, P., Boman, M., et al. (2011, February 22). Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden. PLOS ONE.

12. Littman, L. (2021, November). Individuals Treated for Gender Dysphoria with Medical and/or Surgical Transition Who Subsequently Detransitioned: A Survey of 100 Detransitioners. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50, 3353-69.

13. Brooks, L. (2022, July 28). Tavistock gender identity clinic is closing: what happens next? The Guardian.

14. Selin Davis, L. (2022, July 30). The Beginning of the End of “Gender-Affirming Care’? Common Sense.

15. The Williams Institute. (2022, June). How Many Adults and Youth Identify as Transgender in the United States?

16. Mandal, A. (2019, May 31). Causes of Gender Dysphoria. News Medical Life Sciences.

17. Wilson, D. (2022, June 6). On the Myth That Puberty Blockers Are “Reversible.”

18. Nainggolan, L. (2022, March 2). Debate Heats Up on How Best to Treat Gender-Questioning Kids. Medscape Medical News.

Health Care Fraud & Corruption

BY JAMES HOLDEN

Imagine your parents are living well into their later years. And although they can spend some time alone, there will come a day you will need to make a choice; either decide to find assisted living—often transitioning to long-term care, or devise a plan to keep them home with the as sistance of a health care agency or a team of health aides.

Such a decision is difficult; even reputable agencies may miss the mark on screening caregivers resulting in inad equately trained or the hiring of dishon est individuals. Then comes the expense; agencies are trying to run a business. Besides the cost of employees, their overhead is haunting, so the consumer is forced into an expensive proposition.

Many families will look for indepen dent health care workers, often found on

line or through word of mouth. In some instances, these people have organized groups that share valuable experiences and knowledge; unfortunately, more of ten, their chats and associations breed the exchange of information and techniques for defrauding the tax collector and the families they are supposed to be helping.

I met with one such family who shared their story and experience of the mount ing pressure they faced from caring for their parents. Feeling compelled to keep them home, they quickly learned that obtaining assistance was fraught with surprise and legal battles. For this story, we will refer to the couple as Bob and Jane.

“I am constantly having to attend to my parent’s needs, much of which they had been able to do up until recently,” Jane said with a touch of frustration. “It was at the point I was practically work ing full time on keeping them [mom and

dad] safe, showered, and fed. However, my parents didn’t need me much at bedtime.” Bob agreed, “They didn’t need someone around the clock, maybe four or five hours, three or four days a week.”

The couple concluded it was time to find help. Like other families, they sought assistance from their local Coun sel on Aging, networked, and called firms that provided services. Beyond that, they decided to follow the letter of the law. Bob and Jane discussed the mat ter with their Certified Public Accoun tant (CPA), only to discover they would inherit liability if they were not careful. To make matters worse, they quickly learned that many in the business of freelance health care are attempting to scam the system—right underneath the blind eye of the authorities.

Under Massachusetts law, if you hire an independent contractor to perform duties at your home, give them direc

THE

tion and allocate the time of service, you are responsible for paying payroll taxes, Social Security, Worker’s Compensation, and employer liability insurance. And, if you ignored the mandate and slipped them cash each week, they could report you, or if audited and asked about their earnings, they’d likely tell a revenue investigator they were an employee and that you were withholding taxes.

There have also been cases where indi viduals have reported questionable inju ries while performing direct care or hurt due to a slip and fall or other trauma.

A family hiring a health care attendant becomes an employer. It is a well-known fact in the professional community that in about 99 percent of cases where the state finds an “under-the-table worker” avoiding taxes, it will focus its power and might on the employer, where they will be hit with penalties, fees, and back taxes. In addition, this violation could expand into an audit where other fiscal questions are unearthed about the employer.

Bob and Jane, wishing to avoid this trap, agreed they would pay all expenses, including the taxes owed by an employee too. They believed that the effort of find ing someone would be simple by taking away all the tax-pain from a potential new hire and giving them a handsome salary.

The couple’s good feelings, to play by the rules and bring on reliable help, were trashed after months of searching and finally interviewing Sally.

She came with excellent references. “It seemed too good to be true; she [Sally] was agreeable, pleasant, and had a good base of knowledge; we felt comfortable with her coming into my parent’s home,” Jane explained.

During a lengthy interview, according to Bob, the hope of hiring Sally abruptly ended once compensation was put on the table. “I explained that we understood

why many in her field don’t want to be bothered with taxes and reporting and we would take full responsibility for all taxes and insurance; all she had to do was provide services and get paid more than an agency would offer her.”

The couple suddenly realized they probably wouldn’t find anyone willing to work as a home health care worker under legal terms. It wasn’t due to the expense of being a legitimate taxpayer, but rather, Sally told them that everyone she knows only accepts cash because they are receiv ing state benefits, and if they exceed salary guidelines, they will be removed from various state-funded programs.

In the case of Sally, she was master ful at the scam, yet spilling some of the techniques she and others use regularly. She was enjoying a free college education, welfare payments, an EBT food stamp card for her and her children, drove a new car, and had a live-in boyfriend adding to the household income. Unashamed, she

ties are going after everyone, and now the Biden administration wants to overhaul the ‘gig’ economy.” Yes, they will turn up plenty of money and abuse, but here we have a cottage industry, bilking taxpayers millions of dollars, and they [government officials] ignore the obvious.”

Bob added, “Sally was forthright in telling us we wouldn’t find what we want because the group she interacts with are keen on the system, and they know how to manipulate it…worse, we are probably on a list that indicated we won’t pay cash.”

This topic should concern every citizen; the fact that earnings aren’t be ing reported, taxes evaded, plus cases of abuse of government services are being ignored is reprehensible.

In practically every neighborhood— every day, a person performs health care services and can be seen entering and exiting homes. It makes sense to stop the illicit activity by setting a few examples of those using the system for

A family hiring a health care attendant becomes an employer. It is a well-known fact in the professional community that in about 99 percent of cases where the state finds an “under-the-table worker” avoiding taxes, it will focus its power and might on the employer, where they will be hit with penalties, fees, and back taxes.

was proud to beat the system and wished the couple “Good luck.”

Sally’s starting rate was going to be $27 per hour with all expenses paid; it was shocking to the couple that she opted to “steal” from taxpayers rather than become self-sufficient.

Ironically, the state knows of this dishonest behavior and overlooks it; with an aging population and facts and figures that support the indulgence of indepen dent health care, an investigation would stop the abuse within hours and right this wrong.

Jane, looking upset, said, “The authori

personal gain and taking advantage of the elderly and their adult children. Because these “health care worker communities” are tightly knitted, it wouldn’t be long before the workers telegraph news that it isn’t safe to accept cash and get on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, the State of Massachusetts, as with many, would rather ignore the easy-to-extin guish fraudulent activity and wait until a problem arises, so they can be guaranteed payments by financially secure citizens who were desperate to find care for their elderly parents. Word of advice; “Let the buyer beware.”H

BY SUSAN FLETCHER

As we approach the end of the year, we tend to get caught up with family gatherings, social izing with friends, and squeezing the most out of what remains of the year; unfortunately, family financial security takes a back seat to the excitement and distractions.

It’s easy to procrastinate; who wants to dig through files and spend what little time is available figuring changes in

insurance policies and portfolios? How ever, doing a review each year is vital for family protection.

In preparation for this article and to get a handle on real-world experience, we contacted Nick Daddona, owner of the SouthCoast Insurance Group and its sister company, the SouthCoast Finan cial Group of Dartmouth, and New Bedford, Massachusetts.

What we found interesting in speak ing with Nick was his commitment to his family, businesses, and his clients, and how he was able to apply his knowl

edge to help others. Born and raised in Fall River—and after graduating from Durfee High School, he studied business at St. Anselm college in New Hampshire. Upon completing his course load, he entered the insurance business, recruited by a large corporate carrier. And while the job offered great insight, Nick found some practices obtuse and sometimes not in the best interests of the clients it was supposed to represent.

Sometime later, Nick met and worked with a mentor who would further ex pand the young entrepreneur’s knowl

edge base. At the same time, give him guidance in operating related business es—an essential asset to customers.

His spirit and energy were high; at 24 years old, he opened his first insur ance company.

During our interview, we asked Nick where he got his motivation for the industry. He explained two things oc curred. “To begin with, I wanted to have the most impact on helping people… I was passionate about insurance and investment. The second reason I followed this path was that after my grandfather’s passing, our family had an eye-opening experience.” While reviewing the estate, Nick discovered things were in disarray, and the descendants faced tremendous impact due to receiving inadequate and poor advice.

The result caused Nick to focus on assisting the public with coaching that would help them not only plan but also ensure they had the tools and products to navigate them to success. Involved in financial planning and full-line insurance products, he and his team orchestrate solid financial plans and goals for clients in multiple states, along with protective coverage through a vast network of insur ance providers.

Nick understands a growing family’s needs because he is also a family man. Married to Lucy, the couple has two chil dren, Charlotte, five, and Elliot, two. And when not staying busy with them and the businesses, he supports a long list of nonprofits and charitable organizations. Ac cording to Nick, “Family, mine and others, is the foundation of a community.”

You may ask, what advice does Nick offer to readers? In his words, “Find a person and company that stands with you. Become comfortable with a firm with your best interest in its sights and will make every effort to address concerns, objectives and measure your

results. Relationships are built and main tained by honesty and integrity; with trust comes commitment.”

We learned a few things from Nick; one was what he refers to as “The Golden Decade” (the five years before and after retirement). These are the most crucial decision-making years facing clients; having a team with a qualified accountant, attorney, and financial planner will allow smooth sailing into the future.

As for insurance, Nick recommends sitting down with your agent and reviewing your property coverage. His advice is, “Property values have seen a tremendous increase due to inflation and the current economic climate; review ing your policies each year will confirm you meet the limits of coverage within today’s standards.” He also recommends, “Most of us know that liability coverage is of the utmost importance to protect ourselves and our assets, so if you don’t have a personal umbrella policy, now is the time to review your needs.”

Nick also advises his clients to exam ine the limitations of home insurance policies. Understanding your coverage or lack of wind, storm leaks, and flood damage ahead of time will set your mind at ease.

In preparation for 2023, there is no replacement for becoming acquainted with financial and retirement planning. Understanding taxation, estate, and income planning and learning how social security and pensions factor into your plan are key components for a successful financial future. H

We learned a few things from Nick; one was what he refers to as “The Golden Decade” (the five years before and after retirement). These are the most crucial decisionmaking years facing clients; having a team with a qualified accountant, attorney, and financial planner will allow smooth sailing into the future.

The Gift of Print;

& Always

our publications; touching its smooth pages, taking in the vivid

and opening up to topics you won’t find any where, is why and our newest title, in the category of affluent living.

today, and be assured your first issue will arrive in December. H

Show You Care with a Gift of Love

Tis the season for second chances; this holiday sea son, make a tax-deductible gift to a family member, friend, or pet’s name that will bring comfort and safety to a farm animal rescued from abuse, neglect, and cruelty.

West Place Animal Sanctuary is a natural habitat that nurtures while providing necessary medical care to creatures who would otherwise suffer.

When contributing to protecting one of the many resident animals or sponsoring a student in one of West Place Animal Sanctuary’s non-profit community programs, you show how much you care while keeping your loved one’s memory alive.

CONSIDER:

Becoming a Sponsor for the health and welfare of a furred or feathered farm animal. This level of commitment will help feed and provide medical assistance to a resident in need.

Pledge a Gift in honor of someone you hold special.

Naming a Corral, Barn, or Greenhouse in memory of someone you know or knew that was committed to animal protection.

Establishing a Student Scholarship in the name of your business, foundation, or family, so our Educational Internship Program may remain free and accessible to young adults interested in pursuing a career in animal care.

Leaving a Legacy of Compassion by including West Place in your estate plans.

Volunteering; become a hands-on friend and enjoy knowing you are making a difference in the humane care of abused animals.

West Place Animal Sanctuary has all levels of financial participa tion, with opportunities to maximize tax benefits through a Donor Advised Fund or allocating your Required Minimum Distribution to West Place. All donations are tax-deductible and enable West Place Animal Sanctuary to provide a lifetime of care and love to more than 100 rescued farm animals living in Tiverton, R.I. H

To send a gift or to learn more about West Place Animal Sanctuary, visit westplace.org or contact us to arrange a tour and create a sponsor ship. West Place Animal Sanctuary is located at 3198 Main Road, Tiverton, R.I. 02878. Call 401-228-6800 or email info@westplace. org for more information. Sponsored by New England News + Media.

The Art of Giving

This holiday season should include a day of shopping at the sales-tax-free Foundry Artists Association’s 40th annual Holiday Show & Sale in December.

The unveiling of Rhode Island’s premier hol iday art event begins on Thursday, December 1, 5–9 p.m. at the historic Pawtucket Armory, 172 Exchange Street, Pawtucket, Rhode Island.

THE SHOW AND SALE WILL CONTINUE TO BE OPEN FOR TWO FULL WEEKENDS:

Friday, December 2 and 9, 12–8 p.m.

Saturday, December 3 and 10, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Sunday, December 4 and 11, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

As a well-established and anticipated show and sale, patrons will be able to meet over 65 professional local and regional

artists producing distinctive, high-quality work.

The areas of the artists’ expertise include fine art and crafts, using mediums of glass, wood, paint, sculpture, metal, and fiber. There will also be a host of mixed media, jewelry, ce ramics, and photography.

Other highlights include a silent auction of items donated by the Association’s artists during the first weekend. Proceeds support the New Urban Arts in Providence, whose mission is to create a welcoming community of high school students and adult mentors to share space, skills, and resources to inspire creative expression. As with its previous shows, the Foundry Artists Association will continue to collect canned goods and cash donations for the R.I. Food Bank throughout the event. H

Admission and parking are free, with handicap access available at the entrance of the building; handicap facilities onsite. Major credit cards are accepted on all purchases. For more informa tion, visit foundryshow.com or go to facebook.com/foundryshow. Sponsored by New England News + Media.

In The Spirit of The Holidays, Give a Gift That Will Make History

To commemorate this year’s 100th anniversary of Discovery of the Tomb of King Tutankhamun by Howard Carter and the 5th Earl of Car narvon, Highclere Castle Spirits is releasing a limited-edition barrel-aged Highclere Castle Gin for the 2022 holiday season.

Gift Bottles (only three per customer) will be available to purchase starting on Black Friday, November 25, 2022, although you can reserve an order today.

Supplies are thin, with only 2,000 cases produced, and at only $99, they will go fast.

The limited-edition of Highclere Castle Gin is made with botanicals grown on Highclere Castle’s Estate and barrel aged in French Armagnac casks, Scotch, and American whiskey barrels with notes of honey, smoke, and citrus. The gin embodies the spirit of Ancient Egypt and Lord Carnarvon’s great est adventure. H

This year give a gift that embodies the spirit of Ancient Egypt and Lord Carnarvon by visiting highclerecastlegin.com.

Trips

Sparkling Lights at The Breakers–

BIGGER AND BRIGHTER THAN EVER!

For the first time, the fun extends around the entire estate this season. Stroll a half-mile-long path glittered with thousands of holiday lights while friendly gnomes point the way and music fills the winter air. Walk through a dazzling 50-foot-long tunnel of light! See illuminated snowmen, reindeer, and many more sparkling surprises. Peek into Santa’s Workshop inside the Children’s Cottage, and be sure to get a family photo at the Van “deer” bilt selfie station! The mansion’s facade will be lighted up and adorned with a tree of lights in ever-changing colors.

Six new fire pits will light the way and help visitors stay warm and festive. The back terrace will have warming stations and adult beverages, including hot chocolate with liqueur, apple cider with bourbon, wine, and beer.

It begins this month, Thursday through Sunday evenings, November 19 – December 23, 2022; then daily, December 26 – January 1, 2023, 4:30–6:30 p.m. Advanced ticket purchases are suggested. Sparkling Lights tickets will be for a specific date and time, with admission every 30 minutes, and include an interior tour of The Breakers.

A GILDED HOLIDAY SEASON

THE BREAKERS, MARBLE HOUSE & THE ELMS DRESSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

A Newport tradition continues with Holidays at the Newport Mansions! There’s nothing like seeing these spectacular Gilded Age houses in all their festive finery, glittering with gold and sparkling with silver.

Throughout each house, ornately decorated Christmas trees, garlands, wreaths, and fresh floral arrangements are designed to complement the décor or theme of each room. As always, the 15-foot-tall poinsettia tree in the Great Hall of The Breakers—made up of 150 poinsettia plants—will provide a perfect holiday photo opportunity. New this year, the Music Room of The Breakers will host a vignette of mannequins elegantly dressed in Gilded Age fashions. H

Open daily, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. All properties are closed Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. Properties close at 3 p.m. on December 24. For more information, visit newportmansions.org.

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Getting Into The Holiday Swing And Shop Local!

For a great introduction to the season, plan to visit the Thanksgiving Specialty Farmer’s Market

on Sunday, November 29, 2022, 10 a.m. – 2 p.m., held at the Tiverton Middle School at 10 Quintal Drive in Tiverton, Rhode Island.

The annual event is a huge draw for locals and tourists looking for the best in locally procured meats and seafood; every type of art; flowers; home décor; decorations; and seasonal gifts.

Shoppers will be delighted to enjoy tasty treats prepared by artisanal food vendors while enjoying live music.

Over 40 local vendors will be available to discuss fantastic gift ideas.

Enjoy the relaxing atmosphere and the unusual treasures local makers, growers, and ocean harvesters bring to trade.

This exciting event is open to the public, and admission is free! H

For more details, go to tivertonfarmersmarket.com.

Rain Barrels, Rain Gardens, and Ways to Harvest Rainwater

The Little Compton Garden Club has announced a program open to the public regarding the catchment of rain and its importance in addressing this past summer’s drought.

On Wednesday, November 9, 2022, at 7 p.m. at the Little Compton Community Center, Sara Churgin, the Executive Director for the Eastern R.I. Conservation District and Chair of the R.I. Green Infrastructure Coalition, will address efforts to control storm water runoff using rain barrels to collect rainwater from roofs or by installing pervious pavement.

The evening program will address the questions and concerns about conserving water so gardens can flourish without relying on limited well water. H

For more information, contact Nancy Clark at 617-962-4382 or visit littlecomptongardenclub.org.

Eye of the Beholder (Don’t Close Your Eyes): UKRAINIAN ARTISTS RESPOND TO THE WAR

Bristol Community College’s Grimshaw-Gudewicz Art Gallery will host a new exhibit this month, featuring Ukrainian artists. An opening reception is planned for Thursday, November 10, 6-8 p.m.

In early May, artist and teacher at the University of Massachusetts Lowell, Hanna Melnyczuk, contacted the Art Gallery regarding a project she had started. In her email, she wrote, “I am organizing a show of small works by Ukrainian artists. The images are their reflections on the war…would this be something that would interest you?”

Soon after the war began, Hanna connected with Halyna Andrusenko, an artist from Kyiv who helped coordinate and ship work to the United States. Andrusenko will be a co-curator for the show and will exhibit artwork along with Hanna. H

For more information visit bristolcc.edu/gallery. Gallery hours are Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. and Friday 10 a.m. – 1 p.m. Grimshaw-Gudewicz Art Gallery at Bristol Community College is located at 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, Massachusetts.