Woman San Diego
www.sandiegowoman.com
Sept/Oct 2008
Carol Lebeau
A San Diego Treasure
Surprising Wines of South Africa
Paradise in Your Own Backyard Women of Distinction When Won’t Listen BasicsChildren of Internet Marketing
Dear Readers, Fall is here, and school is back in session, and all is right with the world. At least it seems that way after the craziness of summer and its unstructured nature. Our September/October issue is a truly special one. We had the great pleasure of meeting and spending some time with Channel 10 News Anchor and San Diego Icon, Carol Lebeau. I can honestly tell all of you that as nice as she appears on the news every night, she is even nicer in person. She loves what she does and takes pride in taking a stand on some tough issues, from which others would often back away. Once you read her story, you too will understand why we have become so fond of Carol and how much we value her presence in San Diego. You can’t turn on a television, or radio for that matter, without hearing of the turmoil to our economy. At San Diego Woman we are well aware of how the current situation has affected so many of our readers and we all hope for a quick economic recovery. Our feature entitled “Paradise in Your Own Backyard,” came about due to all of the information that has come our way regarding travel costs and airline chaos. Let’s face it, after a hard year at work, and for many this has been one of the hardest, we all look forward to a quick getaway to recharge our batteries so we can continue on for yet another year. With costs escalating, the dollar being at an all time low, and the expense of gas and airline travel, we realized that if most of us wanted a vacation of any kind we had to make some distinct changes in our thought processes. We are lucky enough to live in one of the best cities in the world so why not take advantage of what exists right here in beautiful San Diego, especially with off-season rates. “Paradise in Your Own Backyard,” highlights some of the top resorts, hotels, casinos and spas in San Diego. You will be pleasantly surprised how close paradise really is. Is parenting getting you down? Do you feel as if you are often talking to a wall when you attempt to get a point across to your child? Dr. Jane Nelsen’s article, “When Children Won’t Listen,” provides some insightful information to help make us more successful in this endeavor. If you are in the mood for some controversy take a few moments to read our He Said/She Said column. The topic this month is Infidelity and is certain to inspire some reactions. We would love to hear from our readers on their thoughts, not only on this article but any within our pages, so be sure to write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com and always keep in mind that San Diego Woman is your magazine so let us hear from you!
Regards,
Judith A. Habert
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
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Cover : Carol Lebeau Photographer: Lisa K. Miller
San Diego Woman 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Disclaimer: Products, services, websites or informational packets mentioned within our pages are in no way an endorsement by San Diego Woman, but are provided to our readers for informational purposes only. Privacy Advisory: Personal information provided by our readers will be used solely for the purposes of providing requested information and will not be shared.
Sept/Oct2008
Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com
Inside
Sept/Oct 2008
Paradise In Your Own Backyard Discover 8 top resorts in San Diego for your next “Staycation”....... 7 Carol Lebeau A San Diego treasure..... 17 Touched By Fertile Ground One woman’s unique approach to Infertility..... 20 When Children Won’t Listen How to open their minds and their ears....... 23 All In The Family Finding the perfect Nanny...... 25 Hollywood Connection Spotting celebrities around town...... 32 It’s Not Easy Being Green Learn the secrets to saving money...... 33 Eternal Health Clinic A Holistic Approach to Healthcare.....38 Unintended Consequences Surviving the mortgage loan crisis.....47
San Diego
Woman
Mommy Makeover A new approach..... 50
In every Issue
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Bitchin’ & Moaning Surviving your teen’s first car...... 26 Traveling With Teens Volcanic experiences with teens..... 28 He Said, She Said Infidelity. Who’s scamming who?..... 30 The Wine Connoisseur Discovering the wonders of Syrah...... 34 Business Matters Keeping a cool head isn’t always easy..... 37 Women of Distinction Creativity leading the way...... 41 Foods From Around the World Enjoy this month’s tasty fare..... 43 Spotlight with Delaney Gibson Meet a local musician and shining star...... 48 Musical Events Calendar Mark your calendar for hot local events..... 49
Sept/Oct2008
Meet Team
Behind the Pages
The
Judith A. Habert
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief editor@sandiegowoman.com
4 Sonali Soni
Creative Director
creativedirector@sandiegowoman.com
Woman San Diego
San Diego
Judith A. Habert
Woman
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
www.sandiegowoman.com 254 E Grand Avenue, Suite 201 Escondido, CA 92025 Phone: 760.738.8700 Fax: 760.738.8866 Graphics/Magazine Layout: Sonali Soni www.sonalidesignstudio.com
Sept/Oct2008
Sonali Soni Creative Director
Robert Tussey Copy Editing
Lisa K. Miller Photographer
Tashia White
Account Executive
Johanna Peterson Account Executive
Laurie M. Dyson Account Executive
W R I T E R S
Although her family’s travels have taken her far and wide, Diane Garner has called San Diego County home for thirty-seven years. During those years in paradise, she graduated from college, married the man of her dreams, and raised two awesome children. After a long, left-brained career as a CPA, she is now pursuing her right-brained passion for writing.
Ashlee Ryan
Ashlee just graduated from the University of California, San Diego. In addition to enjoying writing, she is a self-proclaimed grammar nerd who loves editing, not only her work, but also that of others. She also works for The I AM Foundation, a nonprofit that gifts books to low income families, and is a member of Chi Omega sorority. Ashlee hopes to pursue a career in either writing or one in the nonprofit sector.
Lauren just obtained her Bachelor's degree in Literatures in English with a minor in History at the University of California, San Diego. She looks forward to entering the publishing world in San Diego. When not writing or reading, she also enjoys ballroom dancing, exploring San Diego, and sipping a glass of wine from her hometown of Napa, California.
Sanjay Kabadi Deborah D. Lazear Author and teacher of wine studies for over 15 years, Deborah’s background and her Certified Specialist of Wine designation, makes her more than just a “foodie” who loves wine! Having taught wine appreciation, wine and food pairing, and written curriculum for San Diego State U. Business of Wine certificate program, she is no stranger to piquing people’s interest in exploring wine.
Jaime V. Habert
A foodie, an accomplished, well traveled personal chef and gourmet caterer is also a guest chef at Qualcomm. He specializes in various cuisines with a flair for ethnic Indian food. For more information, please contact sanjaykabadi@yahoo.com
Jaime is a music enthusiast whose favorite genres include jazz vocals, and classical crossover. She has plans to pursue a degree in journalism and media. She is a freelance writer, who takes every opportunity to write about the subject she loves. Jaime resides with her family in Rancho Bernardo, California.
AJ Frank A.J. Frank, CFP® is a Certified Financial Planner practitioner with over 20 years experience in fee-only comprehensive planning. She believes in planning by design rather than by default.
Dr. Jane Nelsen
Is the author and co-author of 18 books including the best selling (over two million sold) Positive Discipline series including Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, and Positive Discipline A-Z. Jane claims her formal education is secondary to the education and experience she achieved from her successes and failures as a mother of seven children (and 20 grandchildren).
Selena Parker
Selena is host and producer of the award winning show Selena's Showcase. Her background in acting includes appearances in TV and films. She has written several columns and has taught classes on fashion and Acting.
Anna M. Smith
Anna is a Registered Financial Consultant with Pacific Capital Private Client Services.
Sept/Oct2008
Lisa K Miller
Photography by Lisa K Lisa is the owner of Photography by Lisa K, a custom portrait studio located in Rancho Penasquitos, specializing in the highest quality portraiture. As the mother of twins, Lisa shines at capturing moments in pregnancy and early life. She shares her talents with many local charities by volunteering her photographic services.
Karen Kripalani
San Diego
Robert Tussey has been a published writer for over thirty years and has been providing editing services for the past twenty-five. As a musician he has written scores of songs. His life has revolved around his music and writing, often melding the two into articles and interviews.
Lauren Narasky
Woman
Robert Tussey
Diane Garner
Jack Doxey formed Doxey & Associates Inc in 1991. It is a San Diego based management and consultant company dedicated to helping companies grow and change. It has a combined experience of over sixty years in quality tools, process management, organizational change and instructional design. In February of 2004, Jack joined ranks with Dr. Kathleen Jensen and Dr. Karla Jensen and formed The Doxey & Jensen Group. Prior to owning his own company, Jack was the Training Manager in the Quality Assurance department of the Hewlett Packard Company.
P HOTOGRAPHERs
Jack Doxey
Karen Kripalani’s adventures as a travel writer and photographer have taken her all around the globe, from galloping camelback through the desert to the pyramids of Egypt, to living deep in the rainforests of Borneo with a tribe of headhunters. She is a national television spokesperson and representative for Canon Cameras and has done work for National Geographic’s TV show “Taboo.” For more info visit www.KarenKripalani.com
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Letters Editor to the
I took your magazine with me to the beach today. This is the first issue that I have read, and I am ecstatic. This is a great magazine! Your magazine is a breath of fresh air in a congested industry. Although, I may be partial as I am a San Diego native. Carrie from San Diego I loved the articles in the last issue. Your cover story gave me hope. I have a teenager who has struggled along the way, and reading Holly Carney’s story made me see that we are on the right track with him. Thanks for the encouraging words. Lisa from Oceanside
this article helped me to focus. Thanks for another great issue. Patty from Del Mar I loved your special section on Women of Distinction. There was such a wide range of women in different areas and all of them seemed to make successes of their lives. It was truly inspirational. Seeing what women can accomplish, and do every day, makes a young woman (I’m 22) realize that if I put my
mind to it I can reach my goals too. Julie from Pacific Beach What inspirational women! Not only was your cover story incredible, but so was your special section highlighting all of those amazing women. It’s about time women receive credit for being successful. Annie from San Diego
Congratulations on your awards. It is so nice to see recognition for a great product. Keep up the wonderful work. I anxiously await each new issue. Sandy from Del Mar
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I absolutely loved your He Said/She Said column. I laughed so hard when I read the comments about chores versus housework. I just had to pass on the article to my husband, who of course agreed with the He Said part. Of course that didn’t surprise me, because I totally supported the She Said part. This is a great addition to your magazine. I can’t wait to read the next one. Leila from Encinitas I’ve been to the Westgate Hotel. It is truly a great spot for some wonderful entertainment. I loved the poem and it reminded me that I need to pay another visit to this great downtown location. Callie from Rancho Bernardo I have learned so much from your wine connoisseur column. I felt like such an idiot before since I work with a group of women who seem to know so much about wines. After reading this column for several months I finally am feeling like I can keep up with their conversations when we go out for our monthly girl’s night out. Thanks for helping to educate me. Kari from La Jolla I was having such a stressful day, unable to concentrate or relax when I picked up your magazine at a local Vons. I have to say it took my mind off of my problems for a short time and made me smile. I particularly enjoyed your “Glorious Summer” article since I needed some help learning to relax and
has never felt so fresh
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Sept/Oct2008
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Paradise In Your Own Backyard By Judith A. Habert
food for two adults. If you add some kids and airfare into the mix a 10-day vacation could easily top $10,000. And as we all know, most of us in this economy cannot spare an extra $10 grand to give our kids a topic for their “What I did on my summer vacation essay.” Recent research showed that not only was cost an issue, but time as well. With a limited amount of “vacation days,” why spend two or more waiting around airports dealing with delays and flight cancellations. Choosing a local vacation spot allows “Staycationers” to partake in the favored aspects of
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There aren’t many parts of my job that I dislike, but now I have found one that I believe I love more than any of the rest. I recently embarked on a journey to locate the best local resorts, spas and casinos to include in an article about the current trend in our country toward “Staycations.” Since we happen to live in San Diego, one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and we are constantly meeting up with tourists who pay thousands of dollars to visit our fine city, it dawned on me, “Why deal with all of the hassles of airline travel, or pay high gas prices to drive to distant locations when we truly have paradise in our own backyard?”
Vacations are costly no matter how you look at it. In its the traditional vacation, such things as ordering breakfast in annual summer vacation survey, the American Automobed, lounging by the pool, or getting your much needed spa bile Association reported that the average North American treatment. In the long run it turns out to be cheaper to check vacation costs $244 per day for two people for lodging and into a high end hotel locally than a mediocre one in an out of meals. This is only the average with the priciest destination town location, since transportations costs are eliminated. of Honolulu, costing on average $673.00 a day for room and Sept/Oct2008
So how do you find the best local spots to spend your vacation dollars? I decided the best way to attack this task was to pretend I was the average vacationer and see what I could find in the way of local hotels, spas and casinos. There were many I tested, but the following listings are the ones that received thumbs up. These spots are varied and offer different things for different vacationers. There were the ones for those in need of a spa getaway, a good round of golf, some high stakes poker, a family adventure, or a romantic and relaxing escape. Take some time and come along with me to some of the best local vacation spots in San Diego.
The Rancho Bernardo Inn Nestled in a residential area in Rancho Bernardo California is truly a hidden paradise, The Rancho Bernardo Inn. My very first experience with this wonderful resort was when I left New York and headed on my adventurous move across
wellness center, two restaurants, and extensive meeting and event facilities the Rancho Bernardo Inn has something for everyone. One of the highlights of my stay at the Inn was my visit to The Spa. It is easy to understand why The Spa was recently ranked the number one resort spa in North America in a readers’ poll published in the April 2008 issue of Condé Nast Traveler. Out of a possible 100, The Spa at Rancho Bernardo Inn scored an astonishing 91.8 points, outranking all other resort spas. The Spa recently underwent a 2 million dollar expansion and it now overlooks a beautiful saline pool with cabanas surrounding the perimeter. I decided to be adventurous and opt for a type of massage that I had never experienced before, the hot stone massage. The tranquil setting and talented masseuse made this experience one I will not forget and one I wish I could relive over and over again. After receiving the massage you can go lounge in their lush spa garden complete with fragrant blooms, lounge chairs, and a hydrotherapy pool. A few feet away are cabanas which surround a 2,500 square foot saline pool. Opened to spa guests only, this area also offers refreshments served poolside so you never have to leave this wonderfully restful environment. For those golf enthusiasts Rancho Bernardo Inn’s Golf course is one of the best around and one that you must not miss. It is the only golf course in San Diego to have hosted both PGA and LPGA events. With two natural lakes and rolling hills it is as much a visual experience as a golfing one. The par 72 golf course, designed by William Bell (original architect of Torrey Pines,) was opened in 1962 but has since undergone several renovations and redesigns to insure that it provides a formidable challenge to the modern golfer. The course at the Rancho Bernardo Inn, a JC golf course was named in Golfweek’s America’s Best Golf Courses and Golf Digest’s Four Star “Places to Play.”
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the country to San Diego. Since my new home would be in Rancho Bernardo, I thought that this would probably be the best place to venture as a new resident of San Diego. I was thrilled to learn how right I had been. The Rancho Bernardo Inn is a 265 acre property, which is one of the most beautiful resorts at which I have ever had the pleasure of staying. It truly feels as if you have escaped to another place, some hidden wonderland that only you and a few select individuals even know exists. Coming back nine years later to the newly renovated Rancho Bernardo Inn proved to be an even more surprising event. The Rancho Bernardo Inn is an independently owned resort that is a member of the distinguished Preferred Hotels and Resorts Worldwide. It is well known for its exquisite golf, spa facilities and exceptional cuisine. With 287 rooms, three swimming pools, a full service newly renovated Spa and Sept/Oct2008
After your spa treatment and hubby’s 18 holes, you cannot pass up the opportunity to enjoy a delicious dinner at award winning El Bizcocho Restaurant. The elegant setting along with the gourmet fare, makes it easy to understand why this restaurant has received awards from AAA as “Best of the Best” and “Best Service,” as well as Southern California Restaurant Writer’s Association’s “Golden Baccus,” and “Golden Sceptre,” Awards, Wine Spectator award, and Zagat’s Top Rated Restaurant in San Diego distinction. Chef Steven Rojas, an Argentine- born LA raised molecular gastronomy whiz, who was the youngest chef in LA to recieve a Michelin Star in 2007. El Bizococho is known for its extensive wine cellar valued at more than $1 million and featuring over 1,600 selections. This is one of the few restaurants in which I have dined, that even years later I can recall the incredible
meal course by course. It was truly a memorable experience, and one you should not miss. Their Sunday brunch is equally wonderful, so try to book your stay to include a Sunday morning, you will not be disappointed. If you are looking for a nearby location for an unforgettable getaway The Rancho Bernardo Inn should definitely be considered. When you enter the property you will feel as if you have entered a Mediterranean paradise, not a resort only moments from downtown San Diego. Rancho Bernardo Inn 17550 Bernardo Oaks Drive San Diego, California 92128 www.ranchobernardoinn.com
The Hilton San Diego Resort & Spa
San Diego
Woman
With all of the great resorts and spas that I had the opportunity to visit while writing this feature I must say this was one of my favorite locations. One of the main qualities I look for while staying at a resort is the professionalism of the staff and the way they treat their guests. The Hilton outshined some of the more expensive options in this area. Everyone was so pleasant and helpful no matter what the request or need. This is among the resorts that I found to be extremely ‘kid friendly.’ So once again I packed the kids into the car and headed for an overnight stay. The one thing I have to admit when it comes to selecting a resort for your children is that it is sometimes a tricky choice if you don’t know all the facts. The amenities are important; many hotels are age appropriate to preschool or teens, so an investigation into the specifics of the hotel choice you make may be essential to your decision process. The Hilton offers a kid's club, which is a godsend to moms and dads with little ones who are in desperate need of some rest and relaxation.
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The Hilton just underwent a 26 million dollar rehab of their property - and it shows. The entire pool area was redesigned with a walk in pool - which is unique among the resorts we visited. From Memorial Day to Labor Day they have live music by the pool, and a kid's club close to the swim area where there are games and activities for your little ones. The nearby dock area offers myriad water crafts which you can rent to help add a new perspective to a typical hotel stay. We decided on the water cycles and took turns pedaling our way out on Mission Bay. When we first arrived at the resort our room wasn’t quite ready, so we took up residence in one of the cabanas around the pool, which are available to rent for the day at very reasonable rates. The cabana was stocked with lemonade and waters and boasted a flat screen TV which helps to keep antsy kids at bay for some time. Sept/Oct2008
You can enjoy lunch served poolside by their attentive staff or venture inside if you would like a reprieve from the sun. My hard to impress brood were duly impressed when we were shown to our hotel suite, which honestly took my breath away. It was a two floor suite with double patios facing the bay. Large comfortable lounge furniture on both patios provided a restful respite from crazy schedules and demanding children. Outside our sitting room was a fire pit, and we were just a short walk away from the bay. The room faced SeaWorld so when the evening fireworks began we had an outstanding view. In the gift shop you can purchase wood and a starter kit to get the fire going outside your suite. We also purchased the smores making kit, which I am embarrassed to admit, was the first time this city girl every made this wonderfully gooey concoction. I do believe calories don’t count while on vacation. The Hilton San Diego Resort offers 357 impeccably appointed guest rooms on an 18-acre bay front park. There are lush gardens, rolling lawns and sandy bay fronts just steps from your door. Even if you decided not to spring for a suite you would still have a room which features the new renovations and a large balcony or patio area.
The Westgate Hotel
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When dinner time arrived the kids and I ventured to Acqua restaurant for a wonderful meal served by the sweetest waitress, who just couldn’t do enough to make our meal a memorable event. The sea diver scallops with asparagus risotto were to die for. Sitting outside overlooking the bay the ambience was breathtaking, and the staff was willing to move the heaters as we requested to keep us all comfortable during our long sinfully decadent meal. A trip to the spa the next morning was the icing on the cake. As a huge fan of facials, I received the best one to date and enjoyed compliments for days following my treatment. Between the amenities The Hilton San Diego Resort and Spa has to offer, the beauty of the property and the helpfulness of the staff, I would highly recommend this resort as one of the top choices if you are truly searching for Paradise in your own backyard. The Hilton San Diego Resort & Spa 1775 East Mission Bay Drive San Diego, California www.sandiegohilton.com
Upon entering the lobby of the Westgate Hotel in downtown San Diego, you immediately feel as if you have been transported into the past: A past full of beauty and elegance, a bygone era where service and beauty were among the only important elements necessary for a high end hotel. The
historic paintings, Baccarat crystal chandeliers, and antiques that take your breath away. There is even an original Steinway piano, one of the first five pianos ever manufactured by the company, sitting among the various antiques. No sooner do you set foot through the doors of the hotel than you are greeted by a member of their internationally trained staff, who truly cannot do enough to help you. There is even
lobby, a re-creation of one of the anterooms in the palace of Versailles, is filled with European furnishings, beautiful
a gentleman whose job, it appeared, was to ring the elevator button for guests.
Sept/Oct2008
Upon check in, you are met by impeccably trained staff that not only check you in, but escort you to your room - a touch that truly made this hotel experience unique. The rooms are equally elegant and spacious with beautiful views of the city. There are 223 rooms, eight magnificent suites and eight handicap accessible rooms. Each room is filled with imported European furnishings, soft woven wool carpets from Great Britain, large gold inlay desks paired with complimentary high speed Internet access, combining old world elegance with modern day comforts.
The location of the Westgate hotel is ideal to take a walking tour of the city or to hop into a cab or pedibike to cruise around San Diego. The gaslamp with all of its wonderful restaurants and night life is only a few moments away and shopping at Horton Plaza is within walking distance. Come back to the hotel and enjoy a spa treatment to finish off your day of exploring.
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The history behind the Westgate hotel is a colorful one. It is said to have been a dinner conversation between the late President Eisenhower and a local San Diego Financier which led to the building of this fine hotel. President Eisenhower was complaining about the quality of hotels found in San Diego and put C. Arnholt Smith to the challenge of building a hotel to meet his standards. Built in 1970, the Westgate
menu of more teas than I have ever imagined existed. The tea is then steeped in a beautiful teapot at your table and poured through a strainer into your cup by one of the elegantly dressed waiters. A tower of finger sandwiches are then brought to your table, followed by an equally large and attractive tray of pastries, plus a parfait of fruit and cream with a spoon made out of chocolate cookie wafer. The attention to detail and beauty makes you pause before elegantly devouring it all, as I did.
11 was patterned after the classic European hotel Palaces de Grande Luxe and was the most expensive hotel in the country. In 1976 Mr. and Mrs. Robert Earl Holding, the owners of Sinclair Oil Corporation and Grand America Hotels and Resorts, purchased the Westgate. Mr. Holding has a long standing reputation for quality and workmanship when it comes to the properties he owns and operates. As the only hotel in San Diego that can claim its origins in the mind of a president, the Westgate has continued to offer elements of old world style and grace without the stuffiness of some high-end establishments. As I sat in the lobby of the hotel enjoying “High Tea,” I felt as if I had become one of the European Aristocrats enjoying my daily ritual. Until this event, I could not actually say that I knew what “High Tea” was, but let me tell you it is wonderful. “High Tea,” is in fact a fairly substantial meal that includes tea and is served in the late afternoon or early evening. It is a British tradition that began in the 19th century as a simple early workingman’s supper. Our “High Tea” began with the presentation of an extensive Sept/Oct2008
The Westgate also offers a host of special events and teams up with some of the best cultural events in San Diego to offer packages to include many San Diego treasures such as the San Diego Youth Symphony and Mainly Mozart at Balboa Park. If you are in search of a wonderful downtown hotel (which will turn out to be a once in a lifetime experience) you must plan a stay at the Westgate. If you do decide to take me up on my suggestion, try to include a Friday night in your plans since they have the most amazing Seafood Soiree on Fridays at Le Fontainebleau restaurant, a five star diamond award winner as the Best Hotel Restaurant. The Soiree includes an outstanding piano player, an unlimited buffet of mouthwatering dishes, abundant lobster and shrimp, and a dessert table complete with a chocolate fountain, which is guaranteed to add a few pounds to your hotel stay. The Westgate Hotel 1055 Second Avenue San Diego, California 92101 www.westgatehotel.com
HARRAH’S RINCON RESORT AND CASINO Once you set foot inside Harrah’s it is hard to believe you are not in Las Vegas. The décor is beautiful and the atmosphere just makes you want to sit down at a table and gamble away. Of course I didn’t do that (hmmm…okay maybe a little). The resort and casino occupy over 263,000 square feet of space and includes 662 hotel rooms. The casino is huge and (as expected) a central focus of the property. 59,000 square feet of the resort is devoted to gaming. There are 1,600 slot machines and 50 bingo machines. If cards are more your game of choice, there are 61 house banked table games including blackjack, Pai Gow, Rincon craps, and volcanic Roulette bingo among many others. There is also a 12 table poker room featuring Texas Hold ‘em and food and beverage service so you never have to leave your spot.
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With all Harrah’s has to offer, why brave that drive through the Mohave to visit Las Vegas, when you truly have much of the same to offer in your own backyard. Harrah’s Resort & Casino 777 Harrahs Rincon Way, Valley Center, CA 92082 www.harrahsrincon.com
Since not all of us like or can afford to gamble, Harrah’s made sure to put a lot of thought and expense into building one of the most beautiful pool areas of all of the resorts I visited, and there were many. There is a gorgeous two tiered pool with a waterfall, seven outdoor Jacuzzis, and fire pits with built in seating. Since you just saved so much money by staying locally, you might even consider renting one of the 12 cabanas which come equipped with safes, TVs, refrigerators, tables, chairs, telephones, ceiling fans and couches. Restaurant service is also available at poolside and in your cabana so I guarantee within about ten minutes of your arrival you will easily forget you are only 20 minutes from home. You will feel as if you are in a tropical paradise. Fine food and entertainment help round out your visit to Harrah’s. There are 8 different eating spots, from their fine dining restaurant Fiore, which won Wine Spectator Magazine’s Award of Excellence for two consecutive years, to their 24 hour coffee shop, there is always a place to find some delicious fare to help keep up your strength while throwing the dice or jumping into the pool. If hubby wants to hit the gaming tables and you just need to relax and unwind, a visit to “The Spa at Harrah’s" may be just what the doctor ordered. With ten treatment rooms and a variety of spa services, relaxation is just around the corner. When the lights go down the excitement is just starting at Harrah’s. If it is Harrah’s top name entertainment that you crave, visit the Pavilion, a 900 seat indoor entertainment venue or their Open Sky Theater, open from April through October, which can accommodate 2,500. There is also live entertainment on weekends at the outdoor Cabana Cove near the pool.
Sept/Oct2008
Paradise Point Resort & Spa The name is definitely apropos for this resort. It is a little slice of paradise, a private 44 acre island tucked away in Mission Bay. The resort features 462 guestrooms, including 99 suites, lanai patio, lanai garden and lanai bayside guestrooms, as well as studio garden suites. Baleen is their signature restaurant, recently recognized for Best Outdoor dining by AOL City Guide. Tiki torches highlight the restaurant and it truly feels as if you are in a tropical location as you eat with the gentle waves splashing against the restaurant’s façade. There are three other locations to grab a bite, but Baleen is truly their best. The Barefoot Bar and Grill is the more casual dining spot with a view of the water and guests utilizing the water rental area. There are jet skis, kayaks, water skiing and sailing available to those adventurous souls. There is a bridge that leads from the
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In the summer there are “Dive In”movie nights to further occupy the little ones and a Kids Kamp held during the summer and holidays. If you want to be a bit more athletic, there is an 18-hole miniature golf type putting course. You can also rent a traditional bike or a canopied tandem bike and tour around the resort for some leisurely exercise. Perhaps a game of tennis is what you are craving, these options are all available for an additional fee.
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would prefer not to feel any sea life below their feet. Among these pools are a waterfall pool and an adult only pool for those times when we just can’t stand to hear those two dreaded words, “Marco Polo,” any longer.
A trip to Paradise Point Resort is truly a trip you will remember.
barefoot Bar and Grill to the water rental area, and below the bridge you can view the large array of fish that call this pond home. The large birds that come by to say hi surely add a bit of a tropical feel to this outside dining experience. One of the main reasons I decided to select this particular resort was the fact that it seemed to be extremely kid friendly, so I had my children accompany me on this excursion. Our connecting rooms led out to the beach where a fire pit had been set ablaze by one of our nearby neighbors. The 1.3 miles of sandy beach was inviting enough to get my somewhat city kids to take a dip in the ocean as the sun was setting. There are also five pools for those (not unlike my children) who Sept/Oct2008
Paradise Point Resort & Spa 1404 Vacation Road San Diego, CA 92109 www.paradisepoint.com
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L’Auberge Del Mar Sitting upon the historic site of the original Strafford Inn, L’Auberge Del Mar reopened in June of this year after a 26 million dollar renovation. The Strafford, which eventually became the original Hotel Del Mar, was a favorite hot spot for Hollywood film stars and the playground of the rich and famous. Just in time for Race season at the Del Mar Racetrack, L’Auberge reopened introducing a new concept in luxury hotel experiences. The feeling is that of a high end private estate, reminding me of my roots back in the Hamptons on Long Island. The renovation of this 120 room resort will surprise those of you who visited this resort pre-renovation. The lobby opens up to the Pacific Ocean providing an open air beachy feeling that is hard to duplicate anywhere else. The new Waterfall Terrace boasts a 14 foot illuminated waterfall, Bleu Bar, adorned with a sleek fire pit and overlooking the pool deck just below. World-renowned Barclay Buterra, who previously only utilized his talents and expertise on private homes and estates, is responsible for the new look and feel of the rooms. Executive chef Paul McCabe oversees all food preparation at L’Auberge. I had the opportunity to meet him while having lunch and heard about plans for their newly renovated restaurant, KITCHEN 1540. You can hear the excitement as he talks of the plans for a complete renovation of the menu and ambience. Chef McCabe, who was previously an Executive Chef
14 for San Diego's Top of the Cove and Star of the Sea, has
been heralded as a “rising star of American Cuisine” by the James Beard Foundation. Chef McCabe has cooked for some of Hollywood's hottest stars from across the globe. McCabe and his culinary team have consistently won awards, recently winning Golden Sceptre and Golden Baccus awards from the Southern California Restaurant Writers, the Wine Spectator Magazine Award of Excellence, and Best Hotel Dining by San Diego City Search. Slated to open in November the new restaurant sounds amazing. It will combine world class dining with an outstanding atmosphere. Guests will have the choice of dining under the stars in an oversized cabana side by side with a flickering fire pit and a lively waterfall, or indoors in a sleek new dining room. If lunch was any indication of what is to come, the new restaurant will surely be the new hot spot in San Diego. One of the biggest changes at L’Auberge will be a new 4,500 square foot luxury spa which will open in February. Taking over what was previously the boutique, the new spa is planned to be one of the finest in Southern California. In honor of their renovation, L’Auberge is offering some very special packages which are just perfect for local San Diegans to take advantage of as a local “Staycation.” These include a Wine and Dine Connoisseur Package, Romantic Retreat Package, Seaside Spa Escape Package, Bed and Breakfast Coastal Getaway Package, and even a Pampered Pooch Package. Sept/Oct2008
The Pampered Pooch Package is unique to the area. The package includes a room and two 50 minute massages for you, while your pet is treated to a VIP canine suite at the renowned Helen Woodward Animal Center in nearby Rancho Santa Fe. Included in Fido’s weekend of decadence is an essential oils massage, special bathing sessions, grooming and style with hair accessories, teeth cleaning and a manicure/pedicure with polish. Your pampered pet will also receive a $25.00 gift certificate to Dexter’s Deli of Del Mar. Once you and your pooch have been sufficiently pampered a special portrait session is arranged so you and your puppy can remember your special getaway. What will they think of next? L’Auberge Del Mar is definitely a spot to consider if you want to enjoy a beach getaway which is only a short distance from downtown San Diego and The Village in Del Mar. Not only will you feel like you have taken a trip to the Hamptons, but the history and amenities of this newly renovated resort will entice you to make it a yearly vacation destination. L’Auberge Del Mar 1540 Camino Del Mar Del Mar, California www.laubergedelmar.com
The rooms were absolutely lovely and the surrounding grounds a lush and vibrant green making you feel as if you were somewhere way out in the country. The acclaimed architects, Bergman, Walls and Associates, designers of the Paris Hotel and Casino and Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, decided that Barona should reflect the California Ranch lifestyle of the 1930s. They succeeded beyond expectations in creating this feeling. From the moment you drive onto
By Judith A. Habert
There is nothing more exciting than a naturally landscaped Photos bydie Lisa Miller and challenging golf course for those hardK. duffers out there, but I have to admit one of the things that impressed me most, a sub-par golfer, was their ultra modern golf carts which offered GPS to help you find the distance to each hole, and a cooler to keep you hydrated while meeting the challenges of this course. Our dinner was at the beautifully appointed Barona Oaks Steakhouse where I indulged in one of the best lobster dinners that I have had in years. Barona’s executive chef Dean Thomas’ use of organically grown local vegetables helped make this meal unforgettable. The Barona Oaks Steakhouse is only one of 6 dining options available at Barona, so if you are looking for variety in your menu it is easy to find. In addition to the casino, golf course and wonderful menus at their restaurants, Barona also offers a spa and pool so that you can relax and unwind after a tough day at the tables or on the links. One thing to note is that liquor is not served in the casino area, but can be enjoyed with meals in the Barona Oaks Steakhouse and through room service. There are many reasons why Barona should be considered for a local getaway, one unique item found at the Resort is their onsite wedding chapel. The chapel sits on the edge of a small tranquil lake and is a Victorian inspired whitewashed structure that seats 70. A custom crafted stained glass window is the cen-
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the property you will note the design and colors, stone walls, and oversized fireplace in the casino. Unique among other casinos, the design and style makes you feel less like you are in a noisy casino and more like you are at a country resort. There is a functioning old mill waterwheel, several lakes, and period features such as a footbridge and a restored barn. Of course, the feeling shifts somewhat when you enter the casino floor. With 2,000 Las Vegas slots, video poker and keno machines, 70 table games, a 15 table poker room, and an off track betting area. Barona creates an environment where guests have a real shot at winning. Aside from the attraction of the rustic ranch appearance and the excitement of a Las Vegas casino, Barona Valley Ranch is also home to an award winning golf course which has the reputation as one of the most challenging in San Diego. Since it’s opening in 2001 The Barona Creek Golf Club has won numerous awards including Golf Magazine’s Top 10 New Golf Courses in the nation and the rating as the 3rd best resort golf course in California by Golfweek Magazine. Additionally, the golf course has been recognized by Audubon International for conservation, Sept/Oct2008
San Diego
When a trip to Las Vegas is just too time consuming, not to mention expensive with the cost of fuel or airfare, Barona Valley Ranch Resort and Casino provides a unique alternative. Located in the scenic Barona Valley just 30 minutes from downtown San Diego, Barona is one of San Diego’s premier Indian Gaming Resorts.
environmental quality, and land management. More than 170 mature native oak trees were transplanted from other regions of the Reservation and 90 acres of Bermuda sod was woven into the valley giving each hole its own personality.
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Barona Valley Ranch Resort and Casino
terpiece of the chapel, so if you are looking for a romantic getaway and renewal of your wedding vows perhaps Barona is the ideal spot for your next “Staycation” Barona Valley Ranch Resort & Casino 1932 Wildcat Canyon Road San Diego, California 92040 www.barona.com
La Costa Spa and Resort There is a sense of relaxation that engulfs you as you walk onto the property at La Costa Spa and Resort. This 400 acre resort in the foothills of Carlsbad is just two miles from the beach and 30 miles from downtown San Diego. La Costa Resort was the first destination spas in America when it originally opened in 1965. A recent renovation has added beauty and opulence to an already classic location. La Costa is world renowned for its 2 PGA championship golf courses, 17 tennis courts, an athletic club, a 42,000 square foot spa and 7 outdoor pools. The 610 guest rooms are housed in Spanish-Style buildings. The rooms feature custom made furnishings and all the amenities necessary for a wonderful vacation. The summer months are usually booked so plan in advance. I was unable to spend a night at the resort due to this factor, but was lucky enough to enjoy a spa treatment and dinner in the Blue Fire Grill which is one of their two dining options.
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The spa treatment was a unique signature only one, offered at La Costa. My daughter and I decided to make it a mother daughter event so we chose the Spanish Herbal Body Rub. This includes a fragrant exfoliation with ground Rosemary and Sage mixed with fresh Lavender buds saturated in extra virgin olive oil. This is followed by a relaxing wrap and scalp massage and ends with a full body lavender massage. Although somewhat unusua,l I must admit my skin never felt better than after I received this treatment. Following our spa treatment we ventured out to the pool area where we relaxed and indulged our newly exfoliated bodies in the pool. There is a spa cafĂŠ where you can grab a quick bite while enjoying the relaxing atmosphere. We decided to skip the lunch and save our appetites for dinner at the Blue Fire Grill which provided a wonderful taste sensation.
Resort is also home to “wellness guru� Deepak Chopra’s Chopra Center. Guests can take part in Chopra yoga classes in the Athletic Club Monday thru Friday. Meditation classes are offered, including an introductory session for newcomers. Not having spent an overnight at La Costa I cannot vouch for the accommodations and guest treatment, however I can tell you that if you are in search of a world class spa getaway, La Costa Resort and Spa is definitely the way to go. La Costa Resort & Spa San Diego 2100 Costa Del Mar Road Carlsbad, California www.lacosta.com
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If you are looking for something aside from the lavish spa, La Costa Sep/Oct2008
Carol Lebeau
hope I continued and advanced in my profession because I worked hard and used my God given abilities.”
Sept/Oct2008
San Diego
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There are some things you can always count on, and having Carol Lebeau come into our living rooms each weekday evening is just one of those things. Carol has been a part of our San Diego lifestyle for close to 28 years. Her melodic voice and brilliant smile have helped inform San Diegans as to what is going on in our city and throughout the world. She is often sharing news that is less than pleasant, but she still manages to report it with a level of class and integrity that we wish all newscasters possessed. What is even more evident each night (on her broadcast) is that she is an incredibly nice lady who obviously enjoys what she is doing. I had the pleasure to sit down with Carol at her Channel 10 Studios in San Diego to learn more about this local icon. Carol didn’t originally plan to become an anchorwoman; it was one of her professor’s (at the University of Northern Iowa) who helped shape her career choice. He was a retired broadcaster and complimented Carol on her voice, suggesting that she take advantage of it when choosing a field to pursue. Carol was already involved with the school newspaper and also enjoyed classes in theater. After receiving those words of encouragement from her professor, Carol decided that if she was to utilize her God given talent then radio was the way to go. She applied to all of the local radio stations. Before long Carol found work in public radio at the station operated out of the University of Iowa. During this time she did all she could to help hone her speaking skills. She announced track and swim meets and even read scriptures at church on Sunday mornings. One of her applications received a response from her hometown of Davenport, Iowa, and off she went to start her career. Her first job was to read the news on a top 40 rock and roll station. Carol did so for about 6 months and then graduated to reading news on an easy listening station. One day out of the blue her boss informed her that she would be doing the Today Show cut-ins for her local area: This is the section of the Today Show where they break into the national show for local news and weather reports. Carol was stunned. Her first thought was that she didn’t, at the time, own a jacket and blouse that matched. She lucked out because the costume of the day was a station blazer - which all of the male reporters wore. They found one which was close to fitting her and she was on her way to a career that would span almost 33 years. Carol notes, “I was so blessed to be where I was at the time. The industry was changing. It was happening on the coast and at the networks; Barbara Walters, Jessica Savage and Carol Simpson were making giant inroads for women in the broadcast profession.” Luckily for Carol local stations were realizing that they needed to keep up with this new gender revolution. Carol admits, “I got my break because I was a woman, but I
By Judith A. Habert Photos : Lisa K. Miller
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After two years of hard work in Davenport Carol received a nibble from a CBS affiliate in Peoria, Illinois. It was a great opportunity for Carol and she soon took on the position of main anchor. It wasn’t a large station and as such Carol wore many hats: Not only did she anchor the 10 o’clock news, she also produced it. Carol learned the inner workings of the newsroom, skills that she is thankful for today. Ironically, it was an unusual event that brought her to San Diego. Carol received a phone call from Ron Mires, the news director at channel 10 in San Diego. Unbeknownst to Carol he had seen a tape of her at work and was quite impressed. A co-worker from Peoria, with connections to California, had sent a tape of his news reports for consideration at news 10. As luck would have it Carol was the anchor introducing his reports. He didn’t get the job, but Carol did. At first she was adamant that she couldn’t do it. It was her Dad who convinced her to give it a shot. “Dad told me, ‘Carol, San Diego is a beautiful part of the country. You are young and single and if you don’t like it you can always come home.’ My dad is
things she is grateful for, among them a “Sweet husband, a great career and a sport she loves.” Tom, a retired navy pilot (with amazing southern charm that swept her off her feet) met Carol on a blind date. The rest, as they say, is history. I asked Carol how he manages to handle her celebrity status? “Oh, he is just great. Even when they call him Mr. Lebeau (Carols maiden name, which she retained for career purposes) he just smiles. I will often correct them, but it doesn’t upset Tom, he just goes along with it“
one of those great guys who, even back in the day when girls were only supposed to do certain things, he and my mom as well never suggested that there might be anything that I couldn’t do.” Encouraged by Dad’s words, on March 15th 1981 Carol set out for San Diego. “I had never driven a freeway before. I remember seeing the signs on interstate 8 that said beaches, and I just kept following those signs.” If Carol was going to move across the country she was determined to live at the beach. So she took an apartment in Pacific Beach and before long considered San Diego her home.
With a job that inherently is filled with daily stresses I had to ask how she manages to cope. Carol admits that the stress does get to her at times, but it is just the nature of her business. Very rarely is there good news to report, but Carol jokes, “If we started the newscast with a listing of all of the banks that weren’t robbed today or every plane that took off and landed safely, our listeners would most likely tune out.” In addition to Carol’s busy schedule she manages to do a lot of community service and has been the News 10 health reporter for 26 years. Her main passion is mental health which touches very close to home. Carol’s mom took her own life due to severe depression and anxiety. Sixteen years after her mom’s death Carol found herself faced with a similar condition. “It was horrible; I thought life as I knew it would end. Then I sought the care of a fantastic psychiatric physician who prescribed anti-depressants that saved my life.” Unfortunately, when her mom suffered the same disease the only treatment available at that time had been tranquilizers. Luckily the situation has changed and there is help that allows sufferers to lead a happy and productive life. Carol has made it her mission to educate San Diegans on mental health issues. As she notes, “It isn’t crazy to have mental illness, it is crazy to think that people don’t have mental illness. We completely accept that every other part of our body can go awry, and yet this complex mechanism that controls our moods, appetites, our ability to go to sleep and wake up, every function of our life should somehow be exempt from illness.” Carol supports a host of charities that helps sufferers and their families deal with the devastation of mental health issues. She has even been known to stand up at a podium and say those words that most celebrities would not admit to. She clearly states, “I have depression and anxiety but I am treated successfully, I don’t have horns and neither do you. You too can be helped and get past this.” Thanks to Carol’s efforts many San Diegans better understand mental illness and have moved on to lead productive lives.
Her love of the beach has led to her number one passion; rough water swimming. Carol lives in Coronado and as long as the water is over 60 degrees you can find her out there swimming at least three times a week. On weekends she joins her swim group in La Jolla while her husband of 24 years, Tom, plays golf. Laughingly Carol admits, “Speedos are the great equalizer. No matter what you do for a living it doesn’t matter, we are all great swim pals.” Carol has competed in rough water events all over the West and Hawaii and even served on the support crew for her close friend, Becky Jackman, who swam the English Channel. “I swam 4-5 miles with her, it was quite an experience.” Carol finds that swimming is a great stress reducer - which is often an occupational hazard for her job. Carol says there are many
Carol’s career has blossomed at Channel 10. She was originally hired as a weekend news anchor and Sky 10 reporter, but as soon as they recognized her talents they moved her to anchor the late night week day news with Harold Green. When he moved to Los Angeles, they brought in consumer reporter Bree Walker. She and Carol were the first female anchor team in the country. After Bree’s departure, Kimberly Hunt joined forces with Carol and today they hold the distinction of being the longest running female anchor team in the country. When I asked about her relationship with Kimberly, Carol smiled with fondness evident in her eyes and responded, “She is my blond beautiful sister. We are great friends. We even talk to women’s groups about how to improve women’s working relationships.
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Sept/Oct2008
San Diego
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Her passion for the many charities that she supports, her Kimberly and I have been blessed with a wonderful relationdetermination to inform and entertain, her love of her sport ship in what is an extremely competitive field.” With this in mind, Kimberly and Carol show no signs of competitiveness or ego, they both truly enjoy their work and their relationship. With the increased use of the Internet to find the minute to minute news around the world, I had to ask Carol her feelings on an industry that many say is dying. Carol believes that there will always be a need for news on TV. Although she does admit, “The average age of television news viewers in this country today is 61, young people out there don’t feel they need appointment viewing when it comes to information. They don’t want to wait around until 5 or 6 pm to find out what is going on in the world.” For some finding out what is going on in their own town is what keeps them tuning in to the local news stations, something that the Internet hasn’t mastered. and her husband, are all reasons why there is really no one Carol Lebeau is a woman full of warmth, love and dewhom we would rather invite into our living rooms. termination and it clearly shows in everything she does. Sept/Oct2008
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Touched By Fertile Ground
The Big Island of Hawaii’s Gift of Healing Photos and Written By: Karen Kripalani Over the past few years I have been able to share some of my life journeys with you through my Beauty Everywhere column. I have taken you along with me, not only on trips and expeditions, but I’ve also been blessed to be able to share with you my wedding and honeymoon. Well, for many people, the natural progression on life’s path is to start bearing children. I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I have heard: “So when are you going to get pregnant?” In my mind I was screaming “We are trying already!!!”
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Over the last year we have tried acupuncture, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Basel temping & charting, PH charting, massage, Egoscue, nutritionists, Reiki, meditation, yoga and even Clomid. But still we weren’t pregnant. My husband and I started talking about the possibility of IVF or adoption, but also felt strongly that our bodies were meant to do this work. We were healthy and with all of the tests performed on both of us; there wasn’t a thing that could be found that should have been preventing us from conceiving. So before we really got serious about more drastic solutions, we decided to give it one more naturalistic try and went to see an Indian ayruvedic doctor. Not only did he drastically adjust our diets, he also told us to do whatever we could to reduce stress. Since my husband hadn’t taken a vacation in over a year, we decided that now was the perfect time to take that trip to
Hawaii. Any excuse for a trip is fine by me. And to be told by a medical professional that I needed to relax?? No need to twist my arm! We had heard that the Big Island’s Kilauea Volcano, the most active volcano in the world, had started to erupt again. What better place to go to nurture our fertility than a sacred island where new land is being born every day. Plus, the Big Island is known for its spiritual and healing grounds. Exactly what we were seeking. A few weeks later we landed in Kona, excited, open and ready to soak in the lush and fruitful vibes of the area. Relaxation was our number one doctorprescribed mission, so we retreated to the Kona Village Resort (www.konavillage.com). Only about 6 miles north of the airport, it was built on the grounds of an ancient Hawaiian fishing village on Kahuwai Bay. It was the second resort built on the island (we figured early conception was good luck) and it still maintains its smallcommunity feel. We stayed in a Hale, a Polynesianstyle thatched-roof hut built on top of the black lava at the edge of the ocean. We couldn’t have dreamed for a more perfect, private getaway for baby-making, and we tucked ourselves away in our little piece of paradise to unwind. Not only is this a very romantic destination (the resort even reserves May and September for couples only), there are so many activities to keep an entire ohana (family) busy for weeks. The keiki (kids) program is fantastic. Operating like a summer camp, it is any child’s dream vacation.
Sept/Oct2008
Now that we had followed our doctor’s orders and relaxed, we were ready to actively embark on our baby-soulsearching journey. We started our voyage around the (abundant) island and were honored to be invited to dine with Chef Olelo pa’a Faith Ogawa (www. glowhawaii.com), a local private chef who caters to local and visiting Fortune 500 executives and families. She calls her style “Conscious Hawaiian Cuisine” using local farmers and fishermen to obtain her healthy and sustainable products that she chooses so carefully for each dish. Her table was a work of art, set to stimulate the soul in every way. She believes that the preparation of food is sacred and that all food has life in it and should be honored. You could taste pure love in every bite. She bid us farewell with a leaf-wrapped package called a puolo that was filled with desserts, gifts to the gods to insure a healthy keiki in opu (baby in the oven). As we worked our way around this fruitful island we decided to make our next stop the Hilton Wailoloa Village (www.hiltonwaikoloavillage.com) to visit Dolphin Quest (www.dolphinquest.com), where just days earlier the second baby dolphin in 2008 was born. Dolphins have always been very powerful beings to me and, having swum with them before, I knew that they could help stir my mothering birthright within. Just being around newborns gets a women’s system a’swirlin.’ I
Our evening at the Hilton was superb! If Kona Village really was a village, then the Hilton was a city! Stretched out on sixty-two acres of oceanfront property on the southern Kohala Coast, the hotel is a destination in itself. A great spot if you don’t want to rent a car or deal with the hassle of needing to leave the resort for anything. Everything you could imagine
San Diego
I heard that an evening at the Kona Village Luau, with over 40 years running, was not to be missed. Not only was the food outstanding(with heaps of Hawaiian delicacies including the famous local favorite - poi), but the entertainment was a highlight of the trip. I learned that the art of Hula was a dance form created to tell the stories of the islands. It is also strongly masculine and feminine and the motions of the hips tell tales of fertility and birth. Of course I was hooked and vowed to find a hula class as soon as I got back to the mainland.
was mesmerized by the new mommies and their babies. I talked to them for what felt like hours, whispering words of love and feeling waves of female bonding pulsing through the water back at me. I think they heard my prayers and sent me blessings for conception of my own.
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There is also a beautiful spa where you can work out, do yoga or just be pampered. Ancient, sacred petro glyphs are yours to explore. And of course there’s an entire array of ocean adventures: Snorkeling, kayaking, windsurfing, and paddle boarding are just some of the numerous activities the water sports team can provide you with.
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is provided here: From major relaxing at all the pools, lagoons, waterfalls and waterslides, to two championship golf courses, world-class sports club and spa, eight tennis courts, kid’s camp programs, nine restaurants and nine lounges, an oceanside wedding chapel, and even a museum! Whew! We could have spent a week here alone.
Sept/Oct2008
Our night went by quickly, but we were on a mission. The next morning we headed east to lush Waimea and around the mighty Mauna Kea volcano (surprisingly covered in snow), down the oceans cliffs, through Hilo to Puna. We were kindly invited to visit Barb Fahs’ Hi’iaka’s Healing Herb Garden (www.hiiakas.com) where I attempted to absorb all of the female nurturing and germination that Barb had created in the natural lava soil. Around the corner is the home of Kumu Dane Silva, founder of the Hawaiian Lomilomi Association and owner of Hale Ola Hawaiian Healing Center (www.haleola.com). I was sent to Dane because of his exceptional healing skills. He educated me on Lomi Lomi, the Hawaiian style of massage that means “the sacred touch of aloha.” We spoke a lot about fertility and he emphasized that all good health is maintained through diet, breath and exercise. He echoed much of what my ayruvedic doctor had told me about temperature, PH, inflammation, and stress. Having heard this same information from numerous sources made me know in my heart that I was on the right path.
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We said goodbye to Dane and were eager to make it to the lava flow before sunset. We checked into the beautifully lush Kilauea Lodge (www.kilauealodge.com) bed and breakfast, and ventured on to see the sights. Kilauea Volcano is the largest and most active volcano on the planet and home to the Hawaiian volcano goddess, Pele. This was one goddess that I really wanted to get to know. After all, this beautiful island is her baby and she has constantly been giving birth for millions of years. We stood at the ocean’s edge and watched two lava flows cascading into the water, starring into the flames and flow as it oozed and spattered and poured over the cliffs. It was a treasure and honor to be able to witness earth being born. After a delightful breakfast at Kilauea Lodge I decided to treat myself to a Lomi Lomi session before our day’s outing. I had been introduced to Lomi Lomi practitioner and hula goddess, Suzanne Kamaluhia Woolley (www.halehoola.net) and an instant bond was formed. Suzanne had a similar story to my own in that she had been trying for a few years, through every means imaginable, to conceive. When I walked through her door she was 5 months pregnant!! Another light bulb went off inside my head when she told me she achieved success through an ayruvedic diet and ‘Opu Huli, a Lomi Lomi technique where the stomach is massaged to reset the positioning of the uterus. I needed no more convincing and knew that my first priority when I got home was to charge forward with my new diet! After having my “stomach turned” I joined my husband and we allotted the rest of the day to exploring the crater at the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park (www.hawaii.volcanoes. national-park.com). We took in the views of the gases bursting from the gaping caldera and smelled the sulfur venting from the banks. It was one of the highlights of our trip and a “must-see” in one’s lifetime! Completing our loop of the island we made our way back down the mountain, past black sand beaches frequented by turtles, farmer’s selling their goods by the side of the road Sept/Oct2008
and macadamia groves. The last stop in our journey was to Keauhou Kona, just south of the airport. We were eager to check into the Sheraton Keauhou Bay Resort and Spa. (www.sheratonkeauhou.com) and throw on our bathing suits to enjoy the beautiful pools and fantastic water slide! (Are we really ready for children when we are actually just kids ourselves?!?) We found the food in the Kona area to be outstanding and we tried to take in as much as we could. After all, a baby needs some insulating cushion around a momma’s belly, right?! We were fortunate enough to happen upon Huggo’s (www.huggos.com) in Kailua-Kona. When you walk in you find yourself directly on the rocks over the waves and surrounded by ocean everywhere you look. It’s absolutely beautiful, and the food was insane! The fish was mouthwatering and the desserts obscene, but it was sipping a glass of wine while taking in the view that was priceless. We were also lucky to try out Fujimamas (I really liked the name) Restaurant and Sushi Bar (www.fujimamas.com). Right up my alley with their Asian flair and their commitment to sustainable growing (www.fujifarms.com). Jackie Rey’s Ohana Grill (www.jackiereys.com) is also a fun and tasty stop along the Kuakini Highway with casual continental Hawaiian cuisine. When we weren’t eating in our final days on the Big Island, we were sitting in awe watching the manta rays feed each night in front of our hotel or relaxing at the Sheraton Ho’ola Spa (alright, so I had to go in for one last Lomi Lomi session!) We spent a day out in the ocean with Phillipa Christian (www.oneloveonespirit.com) swimming with the wild dolphins right off the coast. Each morning we’d watch Fair Wind Cruises (www.fair-wind.com) pass by our window taking snorkelers for a day of adventure in Kealakekua Bay. And each night I would quote the children’s book, “Goodnight Moon,” as we took in the sunset view from our room….. Goodnight Sun, goodnight dolphins, goodnight ocean. By the time our stay was complete, we had made it all the way around the Big Island and I felt infused with birthing energy! The power of this sacred land was bound to help the baby-making magic along. I am so grateful and overjoyed to end this story with our good news. As I write this I am 20 weeks pregnant! The Big Island of Hawaii really did deliver its gift of healing. I want to thank all of you for your kind thoughts and prayers as we’ve taken this journey. And I invite you to share your own fertility stories with me. Please feel free to write to me at: kk@karenkripalani.com with your tales of successes and failures, joys and disappointments as you’ve traveled down the fertility road. O ka maluhia no me oe (may peace be with you)!
When Children Won’t Listen By Dr. Jane Nelsen Dr. Jane Nelsen is the author and co-author of 18 books including the best selling (over two million sold) Positive Discipline series including Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, and Positive Discipline A-Z. Jane claims her formal education is secondary to the education and experience she achieved from her successes and failures as a mother of seven children (and 20 grandchildren).
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San Diego
Suggestions: 1. Remember that children will listen to you AFTER they feel listened to. So the first thing you can do to train children to listen is to MODEL listening. 2. Use reflective listening or active listening. Reflective listening is when you reflect back what you heard (without sounding like a parrot). “You don’t want to take a nap.” “You are angry because she hit you.” Active listening is when you listen between the lines and make some guesses about what the child is feeling and then check it out to see if you are correct. “You hit Julie because it made you mad when she took your toy.” 3. Validate feelings. Both reflective and listening are ways of validating feelings. You can also simply say, “I understand. I think I would feel that way too.” 4. Once children feel listened to, they are more willing to listen to you. Then you can follow up by getting the child involved in problem-solving. “I understand that you are angry, and what you feel is always okay. However what you DO is another matter. It is okay to feel angry, and it is not okay to hit others. How could you express your anger without hitting or talking disrespectfully?” 5. Brainstorm options WITH children. If they have a hard time getting started, it is okay for you to start the brainstorming. “How
about using your words? How about putting the problem on the family meeting agenda to get some help from others? 6. How about asking Julie if she would use the Wheel of choice (available as a free download at www.focusingonsolutions.com) with you to find a solution.” 7. Instead of telling, ask what and how questions. Remember that education is derived from the Latin word educaré, which means to “draw forth.” 8. Lectures are especially ineffective with children under the age of four. They are not developmentally able to absorb and understand lectures the way adults think they can, yet they can be left with a feeling of doubt and shame (discouragement that can lead to misbehavior). The following suggestions are best for children under four. 9. When you must give directions, use fewer words, one word is best. “Naptime, cleanup time.” 10. Use nonverbal signals: point at what needs to be done. Smile, but don't say a word. 11. Use action: Take the child by the hand and lead her, kindly and firmly, to the task that needs to be done. 12. When you have created routine charts with children, you can ask them when is next on the routine instead of telling them. 13. Children may listen carefully when you whisper so they have to listen to hear you. Try it. 14. Have regular family meetings where all members, including parents, listen to each other and focus on solutions instead of blame. 15. Be respectful when you make requests. Don’t expect children to do something “right now” when you are interrupting something they are doing. Ask, “Would you like to take a break and do this now, or in twenty minutes? You decide.” Adding, “You decide,” is very empowering. If they choose twenty minutes, ask, “Would you like to set the timer or do you want me to?” 16. Ask your children if they would be willing to listen to some important information. This usually arouses curiosity and they feel respected because they have a choice. If they agree to listen, they usually will. Otherwise, you might as well skip the lecture that will fall on deaf ears.
Woman
Adults train children to not listen. Sorry, but this is another case where adults need to look at their own behavior. Lecturing is a great way to train children to not listen. Too often adults tell, tell, tell, (lecture, lecture, lecture). They tell children what happened, what caused it to happen, how they should feel about it, and what they should do about it. This is a very threatening experience for children and they learn to take care of themselves by shutting down or rebelling (talking back). How do you feel when someone lectures to you? My guess is that you feel inadequate, defensive, or downright rebellious. Why would children feel any different? Don’t back talk back. It doesn’t help if you talk back to your children when they talk back to you. “Don’t you talk to me in that tone of voice!” Again, you are modeling the opposite of what you are trying to teach.
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Gratitude
By Joseph Patti
There’s something I am grateful for And will be my life through It is the gentle lovely warmth That emanates from you It lifts my spirits just to know That you are still my friend Though all that I have done ‘til now May have caused it to end Yes I’ll be ever grateful, child Long as this earth I trod For all that you have done for me You are my gift from God
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He sent you into his sick life To keep me safe and warm To take away my every strife And guide me through each storm May life be kind to you my child With joy to never cease I wish for you God’s very best Of health and joy and peace
Sept/Oct2008
All in the Family
But, having children of her own helped the nanny agency do more than just get off the ground. She can now relate to clients who cry over the phone because they have to go back to work and leave their children in the hands of a nanny, because Rebecca herself has felt that same turmoil. When her business grew too big for her home office, she moved it to an office in San Marcos, leaving her own children in the part time care of another. This understanding usually leads to more than just a client-consultant relationship, but a friendship. And this is what Rebecca had always wanted from Bella Bambino Nannies, handing out her cell phone so that clients know they can always reach someone. She also provides links on BellaBambino’s website for services her clients find helpful like child proofing companies, family photographers, and nanny taxing tips but only after she has used the service herself, or investigated it and checked its references.
Further down the line, Rebecca’s considering expanding the business to include governesses, college educated nannies, chauffeurs, and butlers, a business which, if successful, might turn into its own division – Sterling Domestics.
San Diego
Right around the time Rebecca set out to create Bella Bambino Nannies, she got pregnant with her first children. Yes, children – twins, a boy and a girl. This helped her in several ways. After five months, she was ordered to bed rest by her doctor, but Rebecca, ever the Type A personality, took this as an opportunity to quit her other job and spend all day in her office talking to clients and interviewing nannies, often still sending emails out until one in the morning. When Rebecca’s twins turned two, they began going to a program at preschool a couple days a week, enabling her to focus on expanding the business, from San Diego up to Orange, Riverside, and Los Angeles counties. When it exploded like a “mushroom cloud” according to Rebecca, she had to bring her sister into the business for extra help. Her mom also works part time, checking new nannies’ references. Her husband helps some with financials, and her daughter, at just age five, has already expressed interest in someday taking over the family business.
because they know that Rebecca has their best interests and that of her clients at heart, and wants them to end up in good homes. Rebecca, for her part, wouldn’t feel good about limiting her background checks because she wants to know for sure that her nannies are clear in the present and in the future, entering them into Trustline through the California Department of Justice that keeps them in the system permanently, among other checks Rebecca runs. In the end, everyone knows they’re in good hands.
Woman
Rebecca Howard has always had that mothering instinct. It’s why, when working as a nanny hired through a nanny referral agency, she realized that something was wrong with the process. The agency had never run a background check and, after checking with her references, Rebecca discovered none of them had ever been called. Despite this, the family she was referred to had paid around $2000 to use the referral service, that you could receive just by putting a “nanny wanted” ad in the newspaper. So, when she was twenty-four years old, Rebecca set out to create a more professional nanny referral agency, Bella Bambino Nannies.
By Ashlee Ryan Photos by Karen Kripalani
We know that whatever Rebecca does, it’s going to be It’s this personal, family-oriented attention that has good. “If I’m going to put something in the community, I don’t contributed to the growth of Bella Bambino Nannies. The want it to be sloppy…it’s a reflection of me,” Rebecca says. company thrives on word of mouth as ninety-five percent of It’ll have that family-oriented, personal touch and it’ll be her nannies have been either placed by her before or heard something that, someday, she would be proud to pass onto about it from a friend. Despite the rigorous background her daughter. checks, nannies keep recommending Bella Bambino Sept/Oct2008
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Bitchin’ & Moaning Surviving your teen’s first car.
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The time has come once again to admit that my kids are getting older and another milestone must occur: My number two child needs a car. Starting college in September means many things, primarily that she no longer needs me to drive her to high school with her brother every morning. Hurrah I thought, no more fighting over who was making who late, or intentional slowness in getting ready to get even when one of the two had a later start. Then I realized what this meant- another car in the house. This meant another one to pay for, to deal with repairs on, and to try and find a place to park. But life must move on, so now the headache of picking out the car was upon us. Of course this meant trying to please an 18 year olds desire to have a cool car, versus the parent’s need to purchase a safe, reliable, and inexpensive vehicle. Unfortunately, these two points of view rarely end in the same choice. We did it. She wasn’t happy, but she was safe and I tried to explain that your first car is rarely your dream car. This gives you a legitimate reason to get a good job so you can one day afford that car of your dreams. Of course as any good mother, when she started to bitch and moan about the car we had bought her that wasn’t perfect I had to share my experience when I got my first car. It happened when I turned 17 Mom and Dad managed to gather up what small savings they had to buy my first car. It was yellow (and I can’t tell you how much I hate yellow), but getting a car far outweighed the putrid color it was in. I was an independent free spirit now, I could drive. The car owner lived way out on Long Island and Mom and Dad did not feel comfortable letting me drive it home, so there I sat in the backseat of my new car. I was dying to get behind the wheel, but as Mom said, “What are you thinking? You can’t drive the car, it hasn’t been blessed.” I looked at her and said “It has to be blessed? Who made that rule?” My mother looked at me very calmly, even though I know she was getting angry, and as calm as can be she uttered the one word answer, “God.” When we were a few miles from home Dad made a stop and told us to wait in the car. In about fifteen minutes he showed back up with a brown bag in his arms and handed it Sept/Oct2008
By Judith A. Habert
to my mother, who turned to him and said, “Honey, did you get it all?” “Of course”, he responded, “and thank God they had red!” I was quite perplexed by now and calmly asked Dad, “What’s in the bag?” “Necessities” he mumbled. And that was all he said. I simply sighed and sat back in my seat knowing that when my parents got like this there was no cracking through the barrier. When we arrived home, Mom went directly into the kitchen picked up the phone and dialed. When I came back into the kitchen Mom was just hanging up the phone promising to be there in 15 minutes. “Where are you going,” I asked, “don’t you want to take a ride with me in my new car?” “We are going in your new car” she said. “We are all going in your car.” She handed me my jacket and said, “Let’s go, or we’ll be late” “Late for what?” I questioned, noticing that Dad was nowhere to be found. When we got downstairs to the car I understood why. Dad was attending to necessities: He had tied a big red bow around the rearview mirror, placed a Saint Christopher medal prominently on the front of the glove compartment and was in the process of throwing change into the backseat of the car. It was at that moment I realized where we were headed. The integral element in the preparation of the car was the blessing. We were on our way to St. Michael’s church to have Father Sullivan bless my car. And bless it he did. Father Sullivan exited the church office, bible and holy water in hand, and said a few words in Latin, sprinkled the car with holy water, made the sign of the cross and smiled letting us know it was now safe to get back into our new vehicle. Mom and Dad finally let me drive it. At the end of my story my daughter looked up at me with that quizzical look wondering what my point was. I just looked over at her and said…you better be happy with your car or I will buy that red bow, the Saint Christopher medal, and we can take a ride to go get it blessed. She grabbed the keys from my hand and never uttered another word of discontent. See, those old stories do come in handy sometimes.
San Diego
Woman 27
Sept/Oct2008
Traveling With Teens “LAVA, ANYONE?”
AloooooooooHA! Yes, I’m still writing about Hawaii; but now, we’re island-hopping. And yes, people will still embarrass your teenager with the exaggerated pronunciation of the native greeting when you visit Maui and the island of Hawaii, aka The Big Island. My family loves the islands of Maui and Hawaii because of the diversity between the two. A lot of that diversity is a direct result of the difference in the age of the islands, with Hawaii being the much younger landmass. One has only to compare the dormant Haleakala volcano on Maui to the active Kilauea volcano on Hawaii to appreciate the significance of these differences. Every day, Kilauea continues to create more Hawaii.
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terms of vacationing with your teenager? Nothing less than two totally fascinating experiences. Maui Exploring Haleakala National Park is sure to be a hit. From the first time my husband and I visited during our B.C. (Before Children) years to the last time with two teenagers, the Haleakala experience has been aweinspiring. Thankfully, our teens reacted the same way, although they said, “Awesome!” Think moonscape. To us, the crater at the summit looks like the Moon: Stark and barren. And silence beyond description. Awesome! Your visit can be as strenuous or relaxed as you wish. The park offers numerous choices: simply view the summit from the visitor center, take a short easy walk into the cinder desert landscape, venture out for a part or full-day hike, or even enjoy overnight campSept/Oct2008
By Diane Garner (travelingwithteens@cox.net)
ing. Allow plenty of time for this outing as the travel time is significant. From Kahului (near the airport) to the summit is about 1.5 hours. If you’re staying in the more popular tourist areas of Lahaina or Kaanapali, it’s even longer. The Park is open all year, 24/7, except for weather closures. Watching the sunrise from the summit is described as an incredibly inspirational experience, but I wish you luck getting your teen up early enough to see it. We never have. Molokini Crater is often described as one of the world’s most popular and exotic snorkeling and diving sites. Actually an eroded volcanic cinder cone, the crater is located approximately three miles off Maui and is accessible only by boat. Many tours visit this location and also make a stop where you can snorkel with sea turtles. Molokini was one of our best snorkeling experiences. However, I should caution you that it might be too intense for a teen who is a beginner. Unlike Hanauma Bay on Oahu (see July/ August 2008 issue) where the snorkeling is easy, Molokini can be intimidating. The difficulty is a result of three main factors. Boat access: You can’t walk in from the beach, and there is no place to put your feet up if you get tired. Depth: Visibility often reaches 100 feet, but knowing you can’t see the bottom can be alarming. Sea life: Rays and sharks swimming below you can bring on a panic attack.
The Big Island
Generally, The Big Island is not known for great swimming or surfing beaches. Much of the coastline is jagged and rocky. Blame it on age. Be patient. Give the youngster a few more million years to grind that lava rock down into sand. A mustsee is Punaluu Black Sand Beach. Not only is the black sand almost iridescent, sea turtles are frequent visitors. If you’re staying in the Kailua-Kona area, this beach makes a wonderful picnic spot on your way to or from the National Park. Many of the resorts near Kailua-Kona or Hilo offer exciting activities that will appeal to your teenager. My first choice would be the Dolphin Quest at the Hilton Waikoloa Village. (Nope, no kickback here either.) You don’t have to be a Hilton guest to participate. I never met a teen who wasn’t fascinated by dolphins, and the chance to interact with one can create a lifelong memory. So, have a fabulous Hawaiian vacation with your teenager. Enjoy the unique atmosphere of each island and remember to say, “AloooooooooHA!” Just to annoy your teen, of course. P. S. I would love to hear from you, at the above e-mail address, about all of your travel experiences with your teens. Give me some helpful tips to pass along to other parents of teens. Tell me about your best trip and your worst, but especially explain why the trips turned out that way. Tell me your ideas, gimmicks, threats, punishments, or anything that might help the poor parent who is dreading a family trip with a teenager. Together, we may save a parent’s sanity!
Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is the main attraction on the island of Hawaii. For most of us, including your teen, this So, until next time, keep traveling with your teens! will be the closest we ever get to an active volcano. Speaking of active, in March 2008 a new gas-emitting vent opened in the Halemaumau Crater inside the Kilauea caldera. This volcanic activity has forced the closure of some roads, trails, and areas. The status of the activity and related closures can be monitored on the National Park and USGS websites. Unfortunately, the trails to and across the Kilauea caldera are currently closed, but there are plenty of other fascinating areas in the Park to explore. Hiking on black, hardened lava with steam and the smell of sulfur swirling around is an unforgettable experience. Although now the caldera (a large crater in a volcano, caused by a major eruption followed by the collapse of the volcanic pipe walls that form the volcano's cone. It may later contain a lake.) will have to be viewed from a safe distance, it is definitely a worthwhile and memorable site to visit. If you’re lucky, you might even see a minor eruption or feel a sharp earthquake. That would give your teen a great tale to share. If you plan to spend a few days exploring the Park, Volcano House is the place to stay. LocatSept/Oct2008
San Diego
Maui offers myriad accommodations. We have always preferred to stay in the Lahaina/Kaanapali area. Touristy -yes. Teen pleasing - absolutely. Pricey—you betcha! After you choose an area, you also have a choice of hotels, resorts, or condos. The condo approach works especially well if you’re feeding a teenage boy. Nothing is cheap in Hawaii, but having a kitchen does at least help with the cost of eating. And instant food/drink gratification can save a lot of teen ATTITUDE. Our favorite resort was The Westin Maui. (No, I don’t get a kickback. I wish!) Your teen will love the 87,000-squarefoot pool area, which includes several pools, water slides, waterfalls, a grotto, and a hidden whirlpool. My husband and teenage son took a beginner scuba lesson right in the hotel pool. Afterward, the instructors led the group on a dive just offshore from the hotel. The underwater pictures of the two of them in full scuba gear are awesome.
ed near the rim of the Kilauea caldera, the hotel offers spectacular views from most rooms and the restaurant. Imagine the thrill of waking up to find a steaming volcano beyond your window!
Woman
The Iao Needle and Hana are definitely yawns for teenagers. The Iao Needle offers a lush, serene experience that parents might appreciate if they need a break and feel comfortable leaving the kids at the hotel. Hana may be only 52 miles from the airport, but it takes light-years to get there. All right, seriously, it takes two to four hours on a narrow, winding road with over 500 sharp curves and over 50 single-lane bridges. Don’t be persuaded by ads calling it one of the most popular day trips on Maui. Obviously, those people have never driven to Hana with a teen whining in the backseat at every curve. Even if you make it to the tiny town with your sanity intact, you have to drive back the same way you came. All I can say is that if you make the mistake of doing it once, you’ll never do it again.
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He Said,She Said
Who’s Scamming Who? By Robert Tussey & Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K. Miller Are men really from Mars and Women from Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his bestselling book? Do men and women really see things that differently? If given the same question could their answers really be so different? At San Diego Woman we wanted to explore the differences between “them” and “us”. Read on and find out how the sexes differ and then share your thoughts with us. Who do you agree with? What topics would you like to see us duke it out over in upcoming issues? No topic is off limits, so write me at editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!
He Said... Men cheat. Women cheat. It should be that simple. But the male is always demonized as the perpetrator of this evil. Fact is, if a man cheats – who is he cheating with… A WOMAN! Does this justify the infidelity? Absolutely not. But where is the moral responsibility of the female in this equation? Whether
3. The passion has fizzled 4. The fantasy has fizzled 5. Your ego needs a boost 6. It’s payback time
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she is single or married when she hooks up with a married or Come on! Men have used every one of these and have been attached male, doesn’t she have a responsibility too? routinely chastised as being childish and immature for not facFact is, until the last ten to twenty years, men were (considing the issues in the marriage head on and fixing them before ered) more apt to have an affair. But these last two decades having an affair. The old maxim ‘if a man is in the forest alone have seen a dramatic rise in the number of women cheating. and says something, is he still wrong?’ comes to mind. On the In the book, Intimacy After Infidelity (Dr. Steven D. Solomon issue of infidelity we cannot have a double standard. and Dr. Lorie J. Teagno), they state, “Our best estimates, which All of this was fueled by an article in the Union Tribune by one come from studies done in the last five to ten years, reveal that of their female columnists who spent her whole article on John 45-50% of married women and 50-60% of married men enEdwards and his (now revealed) affair. Let’s be clear, infidelgage in extramarital affairs at some point in their relationship.” ity is wrong. Men in public office should be held to a higher These are significant numbers. standard, but so should women -and if you think that only men Psychologist Dr. Nancy O’Reilly (aka Dr. Nancy) states: in office cheat you’re not seeing the whole picture. “Affairs are not uncommon. Women tend to keep these things My point is that things have changed from the somnolent fifties to themselves, but there are signs that they’re catching up to where men were the bread winners and women were homethe guys.” Catching up? Again, if men are cheating (50-60%), makers. And the attitudes need to change too. No one should who are they cheating with??? cheat on their spouse or significant other – not in a perfect Norine Dworkin-McDaniel states that there are six reasons world. But the truth is we are all human and have weaknesses. women cheat: ALL of us. Women need to own their part in the infidelity equa1. Familiarity has bred indifference tion. 2. You’re leading parallel lives Sept/Oct2008
She Said...
does however appear, at least in my mind, and the mind of a bunch of my friends who always agree with me (for fear of me exposing their innermost thoughts in the pages of this magazine) that men just seem to always be on the prowl. Take a hot looking woman and have her walk to the counter of Starbucks and watch the men pause mid conversation to stop and glare, smile and hope that they might catch her eye and maybe earn her phone number. I have never been with a girlfriend, even the most outgoing of the lot, and had them stop mid thought to gawk at a good looking man putting milk in his coffee. There is a difference. Maybe it is purely survival of the species and men are the pursuers so therefore the aggression is a necessary evil. Who am I to say? Most of us women just can’t understand why, no matter how beautiful you might be, how willing to serve your man’s every need, many of them still stray. Just the fact that someone even cheated on Halle Berry makes it hard as a woman to feel secure in any relationship. When trying to understand the phenomenon, and in varied discussions with my female friends, I think I finally understand it. Maybe I can clarify it for all of you women out there who can’t understand the nature of infidelity. Well, I will give it a try. Women are really no different from men; what is different is our perspective. Picture this: you are in Nordstrom’s eyeing that brand new Louis Vuitton bag that sells for $1,200.00. You want
San Diego
Woman
Okay. I totally understand where you are coming from with the fact that if a man cheats, unless he has decided to try some alternative lifestyle, he is in fact cheating with a woman. However, I have to add that I do think there is an inherent difference in men and women and the entire concept of infidelity. So of course you are thinking that this is a feminist belief based on years of hearing that men are dogs and cannot be trusted. But low and behold science has now proven that it is not purely scorned women making this claim. At the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, a behavioral geneticist, Hasse Walum led a study which found that there was a gene variant in two out of five men which proved that men are more likely to be devoted and loyal husbands when they lack this particular variant of a gene that influences brain activity: This is the first time that science has shown a direct link between a man's genes and his aptitude for monogamy. The study was done, not on humans of course, but on animals. Two species that look nearly alike: prairie voles and montane voles were involved in the study. The basis is that the first time a male prairie vole mates with a female, he forms a bond with her for life, breeding and raising successive litters. On the other hand, male montane voles think of sex as a series of onenight stands; they are loners and do not bond with females or
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help raise offspring. The conclusion was that the only difference between these two species is the same gene variant that Walum studied. It was also shown that manipulating vasopressin receptors in vole brains can turn loner voles into devoted partners and fathers, and vice versa. Okay, so men are not voles, not most anyway, but there you go, a scientific finding about male monogamy. So maybe this study is a boon for the male of our species, a legitimate excuse for infidelity, “It wasn’t my fault sweetie, I was just cursed with the gene!” Just what they need, another excuse! Granted, getting back to the original complaint that the men have to be cheating with someone. I will give you that. And I honestly do think a big part of it has to do with women no longer staying home and now being out in the workforce. As such, they often find themselves sharing the corporate arena and benefits of it, such as half price drinks at happy hour after a hard day’s work. So let’s face it, with women out there more, they are more likely to meet men and be tempted than if their only sphere of travel was the grocery store and laundromat - it really is hard to get tempted while waiting for the spin cycle. It
it so bad, but can hardly afford such a downright extravagant item. So you dream about it, thinking how good it would look on you. Time passes and on another shopping trip, something amazing happens. You walk in and the $1,200.00 bag has been marked down to $6.00. You are about to pay for this find of a lifetime when the cashier, upon viewing your credit card, says, “I’m sorry but you can’t buy this because you are married.” A $1,200 dollar pocket book for $6.00 and you can’t have it! Okay, do you feel it? That gnawing pain deep in your stomach. That Louis Vuitton bag was just ripped out of your hands. Well, that sick feeling is identical to the one that men endure when the cute little blonde at the office expresses an interest in some intimate activity with them, and they are forced to say no due to that pesky little “being married” thing. So maybe they say no the first time--I did say maybe--but after that, chances are that sexy blond is going home with your man. And let’s face it; if that cashier didn’t stop you, that bag would have come home with you too. See how easy men are to figure out? Just substitute sex for shopping and you too can understand men. Okay, so there I have admitted it. Women are weak too!
Sept/Oct2008
Hollywood Connection By Selena Parker Celebrities are discovering San Diego and stars like Dana Carvey and Bill Cosby have been seen in our area. Jackie Collins was here recently to promote her newest book. Jackie’s sister Joan Collins was in San Diego to do a play and book promotion last year. Colin Ferguson of the new show Eureka on the Sci Fi channel said he loved San Diego when he was here for the Comic Con. Other stars from the popular shows Heroes and The Office also said they enjoyed San Diego’s beautiful weather and scenery. Ernest Borgnine (Marty and McHale’s Navy) was here promoting his new book Ernie. Movie star and singer Kris Kristofferson shared his songs and stories at the Poway Center for the Performing Arts.
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Coming Next Month: Dr. Penny Goffman, PhD and licensed clinical psychologist , answers questions and concerns for our readers in her “Ask Dr. Penny” column. An expert in individual, couples and group therapy, Dr. Penny invites you to submit your questions to AskDrPenny@ sandiegowoman.com . No subject is taboo. Dr. Penny’s expertise includes anxiety and depression management, therapy for relational problems, personality disorders, self-esteem issues, sexual identity, life transitions, loss and bereavement, elder care, career changes, and divorce. Don’t suffer alone, email us today and let Dr. Penny help. Sept/Oct2008
Kathy Griffin from the show "My Life on the D List" made a special appearance at the Pride Festival. Rita Moreno (West Side Story) is a frequent visitor to San Diego and also made a special appearance here recently. Buzz about the remake of Beverly Hills 90210 has a San Diego connection since Ian Ziering has family in the area. SDSU graduate Marion Ross (Happy Days) has a recurring role on the popular TV show Brothers and Sisters. LA Fashion: Boots are always in fashion and this season they feature lower heels and fur trims. Send any interesting items about celebs and events to selenasshowcase@yahoo.com.
It’s Not Easy Being Green A.J. Frank, CFP
Or do without. That rhyme has been around forever. What does it mean? Do you subscribe to it? Eat it up – This is not an excuse to become obese! More like the sign at an all-you-can-eat buffet: “take what you eat; eat what you take”. If you prepare several servings at one time, which is also a good time and energy saver, but you don’t want to eat the same thing more than twice in a row, be prepared to freeze the other portions. Also, a saver in that you won’t be tempted to buy fast food (on the most hectic evenings) because you have your own “fast food” at home in your freezer. For the freezer portions, store in well-washed plastic containers from butter, margarine, yogurt, cottage cheese; it’s not necessary to buy special containers. Use it up (variation on the above) – Do you use the 3/8” of lipstick in the bottom of the tube? Scoop it out with a tiny plastic spatula or use a brush. It’s just as good as the first inch of lipstick that dispenses itself! If you wear pantyhose under slacks, use the ones that have runs but aren’t yet falling apart. Have several boxes of cereal or cookies open at one time and invariably one or more gets stale or starts to attract bugs? Instead, have only one or two open at a time and use them before opening another one. Consider whether buying in bulk (the giant economy size) is always the best choice. If you’re wasting more of the product than you’re using because it gets old or goes out of date, it may not be cost effective.
Make it do – Before going shopping, take inventory: Do you already own something that would work - fill the gap you think is necessary to fill? Can you eke one more semester out of that notebook, another month out of those shoes, another season out of that winter coat? Likewise, before going grocery shopping, take inventory. Storage always being an issue, how much of the staples (pasta, canned goods, baking supplies, etc.) that you use do you need to have on hand at any given time? Again, the giant “economy size” may not be the best choice for your size family.
San Diego
Eat it up, Wear it out, Make it do,
furniture, decorations, etc. When buying new things, think of it like a marriage. Consider your purchases carefully; the bigger the ticket item, the longer the commitment. With that in mind, it may make sense to purchase, for example, the larger (and likely more expensive) washer and dryer if your family is large, as it may hold up better than the smaller or less sophisticated models. And it will certainly save energy by allowing you to run larger loads.
Woman
To borrow Kermit the Frog’s lament: “it’s not easy being green”. Though he was probably making a statement about being happy with who he is, we can take the same expression today and apply it to conservation. With global warming, water shortages, increased fuel costs and higher prices (especially on products and services that depend on fuel to bring them to us), we are encouraged to go green. Conserve, simplify, and recycle. That’s the trend. Frugality is suddenly popular and in style.
Or do without – This is not a suggestion to live with scarcity. On the contrary. Consider all the abundance in your life. Make a list of all the items you do NOT buy but seem to have lots and lots of. Some examples are rubber bands, calendars, wire hangers, plant pots, gift wrap/bags, ball point pens, plastic bags. You get the idea. When replacing something, decide whether it must be replaced or if by letting go of it, it will simplify your life. Stuff takes up space and energy. It may be time to let go—if it’s worn out, it’s giving you permission to do that! If it’s not worn out, recycle it (“give it away”) to an organization or individual who would be delighted to receive it.
If thriftiness is an unfamiliar skill to you, rest assured it can be learned. Do it for yourself – to boost your savings, to assert control over your expenses. Do it for the environment – to recycle and not waste precious resources. Do it to be politically correct – to reduce your carbon footprint. Wear it out – How much use do you get from your houseIt’s not easy being green, but, like Kermit, it can become who hold items? Clothes, linens, towels, appliances, carpeting, you are, too. Sept/Oct2008
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The Wine Connoisseur
What is in a Name? By Deborah Damery Lazear, CSW
“What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Shakespeare
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And so too does the viniferous grape Syrah, also know as Shiraz. This grape has become the darling of the red wine drinking scene and has a special invitation to each and every barbeque. Even better, make it your choice for the dark meat of the Thanksgiving turkey. Syrah/Shiraz tastes best when served at room temperature. Ah, but whose room? Let’s just say that 1520 minutes in the refrigerator will be just about right, assuming that you just pulled it out of the cupboard. I can guarantee that a summer room of 78 degrees is too warm. Syrah is all about herbs and spice. The Society of Wine Educators study guide describes it as “a McCormick spice rack in a bottle”. Look for aromas of smoke, tar, toast, pepper, raspberry, chocolate, herbs, lavender, spice, anise, black olives, and rosemary. See what they mean about a mélange!
hail from. Now you know. The Australians continue to call it Shiraz none the less. Fine, just so long as you know it is the same grape as Syrah. The comparison between Syrah and Shiraz stops at the name, however. The two taste distinctly different. Let’s travel around the world to understand what you are picking up in the store when the label says Shiraz or Syrah. Decanter magazine says “Wherever winemakers are curious and enterprising… Syrah is being planted”. What is similar is the need for some bottle aging. This is not a wine to be consumed young. We will start with France, its native home. Syrah is the one and only red grape allowed to be grown in the Northern Rhone. Occasionally, it is blended with a little white Viognier. It is the grape of the famous Hermitage ($100+) and the Cote Rotie. The trick is that the name of the grape is not listed on the bottle! You have to know the region so just look for Northern Rhone. Do not be confused by the Southern Rhone; those red wines can be a blend of many grapes, the most prominent being Grenache. Region names to look for include Condrieu, Cornas, Saint-Joseph, SaintPeray and Chateau Grillet. It is said that the mistral, the dry north wind that blows through the valley, the very one that drove Van Gough crazy (myth), keeps the grapes dry and sturdy. These wines need aging from five to ten, to even twenty years. Don’t even think about drinking them young, the experience may turn you off Syrah forever! Northern Rhone Syrahs don’t come cheap either.
The history of Syrah has been in question for some time. But just like the TV show, Cold Case, the origins of Syrah have been proven with DNA studies. It is the result of a cross between two French vines: Dureza and Mondeuse Blanche. The vine crossed to Australia in 1832 and was renamed Shiraz in honor of the Persian city where it was thought to Sept/Oct2008
Argentina also dabbles in Syrah. Mendoza is a high elevation desert with long growing seasons and results in a terroir driven distinction. (That means the wine tastes like the place from where the grapes were grown; every place a different taste). Next up is South Africa where the star of the show at a recent Decanter Wine Tasting was Shiraz. The general comments included “South Africa has one foot in the Old World and one in the new, balancing Old World restraint with some New World upfront fruit”. Sounds good to me. I like my wine to taste like fruit seeing as it is made from grapes. The Dutch who settled the Cape in the late 17th Century brought the vines to South Africa. After the apartheid, focus turned away from quantity to quality. Major areas are Paarl, Stellenbosch, and Swartland. Look for olive and briar characteristics. (Chewed on any briar recently?!; tastes woody) Typically no new oak is used so vanilla is not evident. Try one from Franschhoek Valley to see what I mean. Bet you thought I would never get to United States and the wonderful growing areas of Washington State and California. Washington’s cool nights are perfect for growing Syrah. The balance of fruit and acidity makes this a perfect food wine. The wines have rich fruit and earth flavors with a finish that goes on and on. The style is closer to the Northern Rhone. Washington gets one hour more sunlight than Napa, and that stretches out the growing season allowing the fruit to ripen more slowly and evenly. 15 years ago, Syrah scarcely existed here. Today it is renowned. Not all these wines are value priced, however. For a real treat, try Cayuse Syrah Bionic Frog $70. For an every day wine, Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cline, and Hogue will fit any budget nicely,
Moving southward, Alameda, home to JC Cellars, makes a wonderful Syrah from the Syrah Santa Barbara County Rodney’s Vineyard ($30). And let’s not forget Paso Robles, and its Edna Valley. This is again a cooler, coastal wine growing region and top names are Justin, Austin Hope, Eberle, Meridian, and Gravity Hills. The Arroyo Grande area has tripled in area over the past 10 years and produces some fabulous Syrahs. Look for Alban. Overall, smart buys include Chalone, Joseph Phelps, and Rosenblum. Vintage does matter so check out a vintage chart or call your local wine geek before shelling out $40+ dollars for a bottle. Our tour of the world ends up in Cyprus. Ever tried a Cypriot Shiraz? Not easy to find, but thought I would mention it as way of showing that Syrah/Shiraz is a world traveler. One final word on Syrah. It is not Petite Syrah. That is an entirely different red grape and I guarantee there is nothing petite about it. More on that subject another time. Food pairing with Syrah/Shiraz is quite straight forward. Where else would a big red wine go for a good time but to the grill? Grilled vegetables, olive tapenade, and anything with herbs such as rosemary, thyme, and mint round out the steak and game. Short ribs, and lamb with black pepper sauce is especially wonderful Dry firm cheese as well as blue cheese pair nicely also.
Wine Spectator said “Maybe all Syrah needs (in California) Sept/Oct2008
San Diego
Continuing our tour around the world, Chile makes a lovely Syrah. Merlot was the first choice of Chilean wine drinkers for ages, and then they found out that the grapes were probably not Merlot, but were Carmenere. Now Syrah is starting to shine. Currently the region to look for is Maipo, in particular the Tabali and Tamaya areas as well as Limari. The grape name will be found on the label, hurrah!
is a juicy role in a movie, a la Pinot Noir in Sideways, to spread the work and jumpstart its reputation”. Movie aside, I believe that Syrah has found its teeth in the go-to wine of the American red wine drinker. The infamous Rhone Rangers (read Randall Graham of Bonny Doon fame) must think so too. They have brought these varietals to the American public who love them! The styles vary from peppery, muscular versions that mimic the Northern Rhone Hermitage, to fruit-driven wines more comparable to Australia. Areas of excellence are found in the Sonoma Coast (the coast part is important; the cool breezes keep the fruit’s acidity up). Napa Valley mountain appellations such as Spring Mountain and Mount Veeder plus the Russian River Valley are perfect areas for Syrah to shine. Also look for Santa Ynez Valley and Knights Valley offerings (around $40).
Woman
So what is a poor person to do to enjoy Syrah now and not so expensive? Easy, travel to Australia. Shiraz is synonymous with Aussie red wine these days. They even blend it with other grapes such as the traditional Viognier, or, more likely, red grapes such as Cabernet. It tastes very different depending which area of Australia the grapes are grown in. Look for a warm, mouthful of plums and chocolate from Barossa or Hunter Valley. Two of the best regions are Adelaide Hills, and Beechworth, a sub-alpine region in Victoria’s northeast. These have more finesse and restraint than the typical Australian Shiraz and more in common with the Northern Rhone. Alcohol levels can be high: 15% is not uncommon. Most wines are aged in new oak so they have vanilla and Christmas spice overtones. Blueberry jam frequently jumps out at you. Lots of value wines in the $10 to $15 can be found but should you decide to splurge, try Hill of Grace from 150 year old vines.
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1-877-CHASAN1 • La Jolla www.drchasan.com
Sept/Oct2008
Business Matters
A Fire in Upstate New York
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fire in the back of the stage. Please don’t become alarmed but to ensure the safety of all I am asking everyone to follow my instructions. The people on the left side of the auditorium please proceed in an orderly fashion to the back of the room and go out of the building and stay out of the building until we give you the all clear signal”. He then proceeded to give similar instructions to the balance of people in the auditorium. The conference center burned down to the ground.
The story got widespread attention and reporters came from the surrounding areas to interview the new town hero. They asked how he remained so calm under such a stressful situation. Jim replied: “I was so preoccupied with helping the people and getting the message across that I had no time to think about myself or being scared. My primary goal was the people and their safety”. “However, now that I have time to think about the whole situation I have become very nervous, not about the fire, but that I took over the microphone and delivered a mini speech to almost a thousand people. I have never given a speech before and as a matter of fact I am terrified of giving speeches in front of even a few people not to mention 800. I just can’t believe that I did it. It makes me nervous just thinking about it.” Jim Wright completely lost any self consciousness because he was totally engaged in thinking about the 800 people in the audience and getting his message across. The audience and the message became the dominant thought.
San Diego
He realized that he had to get the people out of the auditorium as quickly as possibly. He entered the auditorium and went immediately to the podium and stopped the key note speaker in the middle of his presentation. He took over the microphone and in the calmest voice that he could muster he addressed the audience in the following manner:
calm demeanor, under an extremely stressful situation, was instrumental in getting the people out of the building and to safety. He became, without a doubt, the hero of the town.
Woman
A large electronics firm was holding a convention in the Adirondack Mountains just outside of New York City. The last evening of the conference the President of the company was giving his keynote speech before approximately 800 participants. At the same time, in the room immediately behind the stage, a fire had broken out. The custodian on duty, Jim Wright, witnessed the fire and attempted to bring it under control. His effort went for naught and the fire spread quickly.
By Jack Doxey
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Jim unwittingly provided excellent advice to all of us who strive to become better speakers. Jim Wright’s advice is simple and straight forward but at the same time profound: From time to time in your professional career, you will be called upon to present your ideas to an audience. The next time you give a speech think about Jim Wright and select a subject that you can get passionate about and truly believe in. Your self consciousness and ego will fade to the background when you take the high road of concentrating on your audience and their needs and expectation and not your own.
The custodian was singled out as the person who saved the day for all the people in the center. It was reported that his Sept/Oct2008
Eternal Health Clinic A Holistic Approach to Healthcare On March 16, 2007 Nancy and her husband, Richard Cook, founded Eternal Health Clinic in Carmel Mountain Ranch in San Diego. Nancy and Rich have found that (especially since the San Diego fires) more and more patients are showing up positive for heavy metal; in some cases even children have been brought into their clinic with this disorder. With non-invasive tests to determine overall health and areas of concern their physicians and health care practitioners can predict and often prevent diseases that would previously only be diagnosed once they were beyond treatment.
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On staff is a board certified OB/GYN who is also trained in Holistic medicine, a certified Traditional Naturopath, a licensed Acupuncturist and Herbalist, a Chiropractor, Holistic Health Practitioner and Nutritional Consultant, and an Educational Therapist. A diverse staff of caring and compassionate healthcare providers who specialize in preventive healthcare, focused on finding the cause of a disorder and eliminating the substances and toxins that are at the core of these disorders. The Eternal Health Clinic offers the latest technology in Digital Infrared Thermal Imaging (DITI) and The HALO Breast Pap Test which are filling the gap in clinical diagnosis and early detection of breast disease, Low Level Laser Therapy (Cold Laser) for pain relief without medication, BioMeridian BIM Assessment Testing which tests 14 major body systems and organs, and Stimulus Response Testing that identify and measure sensitivities, intolerance, deficiencies and excessive levels of substances which can be responsible for health issues. For more information visit www.EternalHealthClinic.org or contact the clinic at (858) 675-9000.
The Practitioners Nancy L. Cook, HHP, NC, CT, CPT
Rosalyn Baxter-Jones, MD, ABHM
Nancy Cook, one of the founders knew something was wrong with her health about ten years ago. She was sick all the time. At first she attributed her illnesses to the high stress position in a hospital Cardiology unit. Before long, things started getting worse. Nancy started having many symptoms, including dizzy spells and passing out. After trips to many doctors and innumerable tests she found herself at a crossroads; none of the doctors could find out what was wrong. It was an unusual symptom that finally led Nancy to figure out what was making her feel so sick. She started tasting metal in her mouth, which lead her to the conclusion that she might have heavy metal poisoning. She had a BioMeridian BIM assessment test, which further confirmed her suspicions. She researched the condition and found the cure for her ailment using a natural approach. After following her own treatment protocol the symptoms started to subside and she was starting to feel healthy again. Nancy knew if she was suffering, so were others. She went back to school and earned her credentials as a Holistic Health Practitioner and Nutritional Consultant so she could help others. Nancy focuses on identifying the hidden cause of symptoms with her patients by using advanced clinical testing which helps formalize the best nutritional protocol to start the healing process.
Dr. Baxter-Jones admits that getting to the place she is right now entailed a long journey. She started her career in a traditional medical practice. A family member, diagnosed with Cancer and given little hope for recovery, helped to spur her interest in Integrative/ Holistic Medicine. Part of Dr. Baxter-Jones’ approach is to screen patients for inflammatory conditions that may lead to future diseases such as Diabetes, Heart Disease or Cancer. As a traditional physician she was not taught this. Wellness care helps to ward off these diseases before they emerge. If a patient requires acute care, certainly traditional medicine is needed, but for those illnesses not needing acute care, Dr. Baxter-Jones believes the holistic approach is best. Having spent 23 years in practice as an OB/GYN, Dr. Baxter-Jones believes that this holistic approach best serves her patients. Dr. Baxter-Jones would encourage any woman to schedule an appointment prior to attempting to become pregnant. She believes nutritional issues are essential to consider and improve prior to pregnancy. Issues such as Autism, ADD, ADHD may have a direct correlation to a mother’s nutritional health while pregnant. Candida (Yeast) is found in a lot of patients, as are parasites, and heavy metals. It is important to get rid of these issues prior to becoming pregnant to assure a healthy baby.
Sept/Oct2008
Dr. Jennifer Seltzer-Ogle D.C
Leila McGehee-Tucker, CTN, CNC, CHom
Dr. Seltzer-Ogle is a licensed Dr. of Chiropractic, with a unique story. In 1988, post graduation Dr Seltzer-Ogle was a practicing Chiropractor. She felt that the profession was not providing her with what she had hoped for, so she closed her doors and began a second career. Dr. Seltzer-Ogle applied and became A Los Angeles Police Officer. She worked as a police officer for 10 years when a serious job related injury to her back put an end to her career in law enforcement. After multiple surgeries, which ultimately ended with a spinal fusion, Dr Seltzer-Ogle found that she was living in chronic pain, and her desire for an active lifestyle was greatly inhibited. With no more help from traditional western medicine, she reached back to her core training. She started rehabbing herself utilizing strengthening, stretching, chiropractic care and a structured exercise regiment to regain her strength. With time and dedication the treatment was a success. Dr. Seltzer-Ogle now participates in long distance cycling events.
Leila McGehee-Tucker considers herself a Doctor of Natural Health. A former recreation therapist, Leila chose this path due to the experiences with her children and their health care. Besides her 5 children, the family took in another 4 children. One of these children ended up being on the autistic spectrum with Asperger’s syndrome. She started using homeopathic medicines because 'they are non toxic and are easier for children and adults to tolerate.' From homeopathy she gleaned a strong interest in nutrition. What started out as a way to help friends and family soon burgeoned into a new career and she decided to start her own practice. One of Leila’s specialties is working with hormonal issues and their effect on autistic spectrum children.
Emily Glasser, L.Ac., integrates eastern and western medicine in her practice at the Eternal Health Clinic. She strongly believes that a combination of the two work best when caring for and treating her patients. This approach includes elements of western medicine such as using lab work to find out where the body is slipping out of balance. Glasser spends considerable time with her patients getting to know their health concerns and symptoms. She uses this information and lab results to develop a detailed health program for putting them on the road to wellness. This includes a tailor-made nutritional protocol, acupuncture, herbal medicine, and lifestyle counseling.
Lyn Seres M. Ed; Rewire Therapy Group Ms. Seres is an educational therapist with bachelors and masters degrees in education and certification in training and development. Her job at Eternal Health Clinic is to bring all of the naturalistic pieces together from an educational perspective. Her specialty is dealing with individuals with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Parkinson ’s disease, Strokes, Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome and other neurological impairments.
San Diego
Emily Glasser, Licensed Acupuncturist and Herbalist
In her practice Leila uses proven natural therapies including Homeopathy, Flower Essence and Nutrition to restore the body’s immune systems to overcome chronic conditions, migraine headaches, food and chemical sensitivities, digestive disorders, weight-related conditions, allergies, and more.
Woman
Dr. Seltzer-Ogle realized that she wanted to return to patient care. She re-opened her doors with a different approach to chiropractic. Dr Seltzer-Ogle helps her patients by treating them with gentle yet affective chiropractic manipulation, therapeutic soft tissue work, physical therapy, as well as personalized exercise and lifestyle plans.
Although her main focus is children, she treats patients of all ages. Her solutions to their many health issues is often as simple as discovering a nutritional problem. One of her patients suffered severe migraines for almost ten years until she came to Leila who helped pinpoint the problem and provided the natural solution.
Ms. Seres specializes in a brainbased rehabilitation assessment and a training program called, Interactive Metronome (IM). The IM program, provides a structured goal oriented training process that challenges the patient to precisely match a computer generated beat. This highly researched program increases neuroplasticity: the ability for neurons in your brain to rapidly fire in an orderly fashion. University studies and further information on Interactive Metronome is available on www. interactivemetronome.com.
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Glasser has recently added a new program to her practice, cosmetic acupuncture; a great way to look and feel younger. A natural and safe alternative to botox and collagen injections, cosmetic acupuncture stimulates the body’s own ability to create collagen and elastin. The results are an obvious reduction of fine lines, softening of deeper wrinkles, improved skin tone and complexion and a younger, fresher, and more relaxed you.
Ms. Seres’ clients range from young children with academic and attention disorders to older clientele who suffer from the effects of strokes, Parkinson’s disease or other neurological disorders.
With cosmetic acupuncture, you will look younger and feel more energetic. You will also see improvements to your overall health. Acupuncture is a 4,000 year-old medical science, and its timetested method of treating the body holistically has been proven to benefit one’s health and quality of life.
One of the greatest joys for Ms. Seres is watching a patient, who was previously completely out of sync and unable to function, resume a more balanced and focused lifestyle. Contact Ms Seres directly at lyn@rewiretherapy.com or call 619-618-2700. www.rewiretherapy.com
Sept/Oct2008
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Sept/Oct2008
Women of Distinction By Judith A. Habert Photos by Lisa K.Miller
Lynne Fruehling President Red Lizard Creative
Lynne did not always intend to go into advertising. She earned her degree from UC Davis in English and planned on becoming a teacher. After a short trial with a sixth grade class (in her senior year) she quickly decided that teaching, though a noble profession, was not where her heart lay. She went back to school and earned her master’s from San Diego State in marketing and media relations. Right out of college she was hired by the agency where she spent her internship and Lynne’s career was now on track. Lynne joined her current agency in 1987, but decided to leave and pursue other areas of advertising in 2001. Part of her reasoning was that she wanted to be on both sides of the desk: the agency and the client. Lynne did some research to try and find the niche that suited her. After much research she decided to concentrate on Health Care.
San Diego
Red Lizard Creative is expert in how, and why, people change their minds about what brands and/or services they buy. They are strategic advisors who specialize in branding, advertising, marketing, public relations, interactive and graphic design. And their claim to turn skeptics into believers and believers into advocates is just part of what makes Red Lizard Creative so unique among advertising companies. Their uniqueness is mainly due to their leader, Lynne Fruehling. You can’t help but be impressed by this woman who clearly knows an industry that is often spearheaded by men.
Woman
There is one factor that is hard to ignore when you enter the offices of Lynne Fruehling, there are red lizards all over the place. Not in a gaudy or tasteless sort of way, but it is a fact that is evident. Lynne has managed to brand her company in such a way that they are definitely hard to forget: A task that she set out to accomplish four years ago when Lynne took over the title of President.
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into the structure of Red Lizard Creative. Lynne admits, “We think differently here. We think ahead as to what the client’s questions will be, because I was a client”
Red Lizard Creative focuses on a niche market including agricultural brands, healthcare, financial brands, and consumer brands. Lynne admits, “I love my job…okay there are some days that I might not love it so much, but overall I thoroughly enjoy what I do.” This comes through clearly to their clients. With an agency whose goal is to create the success Lynne went to work for Scripps in their corporate office. of a client by increasing sales and uniquely branding their As marketing manager at Scripps La Jolla, Lynne had the product or service, Red Lizard clearly does a fabulous job. chance to think differently. She was now across the desk Such a good job in fact, that they recently received an Emmy from the advertising companies. This gave her an interestnomination for outstanding achievement in television by the ing perspective, and one that many in the advertising agency National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences at the Pabusiness rarely experience: She could see life from the cific Southwest Chapter Emmy Awards. Red Lizard Creative client’s point of view. When she was asked to return to her was nominated for their 30-second commercial - “Pandemic agency to take over as President she garnered all of the exPSA”, a Public Service Announcement created to educate perience that she learned (being a client) and incorporated it San Diego County residents of avian influenza or “bird flu”. Sept/Oct2008
When I sat down to speak with Lynne she was in the midst of making an offer to a new senior level executive who would be the only male among an entirely female staff. Red Lizard Creative is one of only a handful of agencies that can claim to be primarily female. Lynne truly acts as a strong role model and “mom” of sorts to her staff; following her own belief that the most important aspect for success in any field is having a mentor. She credits her own personal success to several mentors that she was lucky enough to encounter along the way.
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When Lynne came back to her agency after working for Scripps, she clearly had some changes in mind. The industry had changed. With digital technology it wasn’t only about print and media ads, there were new areas to conquer and more choices as to how a client should spend their marketing dollars. Knowing how essential branding is to the success of a product or service, Lynne decided that their first step was to put themselves through six months of branding. “The bottom line was if we were going to brand a client, we figured we better well know the best way to do so.” This is when the name Red Lizard was chosen. Lynne offers, “We had a list of off the wall names to choose from. We wanted to be sure that we would stand out with our own brand. We started analyzing the anatomy of a Red Lizard and found it contained all of the elements that best represented the core personality of our agency.” As their website explains…. “The Red Lizard’s right and left sides of their brain are equally active so to create and execute powerful ideas. Its vision is 360 degrees so we can keep a close watch on the marketplace to best scope out the best position for your product/ and or service, we have sensitive ears so we hear the voice of the customers and listen to the clients needs as well. With four feet we stay on our toes and think on our feet. And we always move our tail for our clients.”
herself to the growth of an agency which is unlike all the rest and is proud to admit it.
Everything that Lynne attempts in life is done with passion and a sincere commitment to be the best. In Lynne’s spare time she is a gourmet chef who often travels to exotic parts of the world to bring back new ingredients to add to her repertoire. A recent vacation to Dubai, with her husband and friends, brought some new flavors and excitement into her kitchen. It wouldn’t be a huge surprised if one day in the near future we see Lynne pop up on TV with her own cooking show, or a second career as a world renowned chef. But for now Lynne continues to dedicate Sept/Oct2008
"Foods from around the world" Chef Sanjay Kabadi sanjaykabadi@ahoo.com
Orange Roughy with Quinoa Steamed Orange Roughy with Quinoa, Toasted Sunflower Seeds, Watercress and Parma Ham
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Method 1) Blend butter and prosciutto in a blender until smooth. Set aside for later use. 2) Cook quinoa using 2 quarts of boiling water and salt for 7 minutes. Drain. Toss 2 tbsp evoo, freshly ground pepper and toasted sunflower seeds. Place in a baking tray and bake- covered for 10 minutes. 3) In a medium skillet place roughy and veg broth and cook covered over medium heat for 7 minutes or till the fish flakes easily with a fork. 4) Heat 1 tbsp evoo. Add shallots and sauté for a minute. Add watercress and stir constantly for another 2 minutes till the watercress begins to wilt. 5) Spoon quinoa on individual plates. Top evenly with watercress and fillets. Dab with prosciutto butter if desired garnish with orchid or any other edible flower. Serve immediately
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Rotary made the difference! Help us make Polio History
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In 1988, polio infected nearly 1,000 children every day. There were under 2,000 cases reported for all of 2007.
6 – 5 oz orange roughy fillets 1 – 8 oz package quinoa (rinsed) 1 – oz prosciutto cotto (parma ham) 3 – tbsp extra virgin olive oil (evoo) 6 – tbsp softened unsalted butter 1 – tbsp chopped shallots 3 – tsp salt ¼ – tsp freshly ground pepper ¼ – cup toasted sunflower seeds ¼ – cup vegetable broth
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2. Have you visited our website www.sandiegowoman.com ?________________________________ 3. What is your favorite article in this issue?__________________________Why?________________ 4. Would you like your business to receive bulk copies?______________________________________ 5. Are there any particular topics you would like to see covered?_______________________________ 6. Would you like to nominate someone to be featured in an upcoming issue?____________________ Name & Contact Information _________________________________________________________ 7. Do you work?_____________ Part-time_________________ Full-time_______________________ 8. Type of Work?_____________________________________________________________________ 9. Are you married?_____________Single_____________Separated____________Divorced________ 10. Do you have children?_____________ Ages___________________________________________
Sept/Oct2008
Unintended Consequences By Anna M. Smith, RFC
The holiday displays will be up in stores any time now signaling that 2008 is in the home stretch. Normally, I’m like everyone else at this time of year, shocked and amazed at the date on the calendar wondering where the time has gone. This year though, I’m glad that time is flying because it also means we’re moving through the housing crisis – even though it feels like we’re standing still.
San Diego
Alas, that is not the case. An unintended consequence of the public’s outrage against “liars” loans and “no documentation” loans is (Surprise!) now you have to prove and document more than you’ve ever proved and documented before. New borrowers who qualify for loans under today’s restrictive lending guidelines are very qualified, and barring illness, job loss, or divorce (the three biggest causes for bankruptcy, by the way), they will be making their mortgage payments on time and living the American Dream, not the American Nightmare. The bone chilling unintended consequence that isn’t being talked about is how the credit tightening is going to affect you if you’re already a homeowner. Here’s the dirty secret that no one’s talking about: they changed the game on you. The credit score requirements are much higher; the savings you are required to have is higher; the amount of debt you’re allowed to have is lower – much lower. Most people realize that a job loss is a deal killer come refinance time, but buying that car, or having your hours cut back at work may knock you out of qualification. Bottom line: even if you have a couple of years to go on your interest only or adjustable rate loan, it’s time to sit down with a quality mortgage professional to determine your debt ratio, look at your credit, and understand how job changes, job challenges, new cars, unanticipated health issues
Anna M. Smith is a Registered Financial Consultant with Pacific Capital Private Client Services. For more information contact Anna at anna@sandiegomortgageplanning.com.
Woman
It has been a year of “unintended consequences”, a phrase being bandied about in the financial print and electronic media. “The unintended consequences” of giving people too much credit is that they not only hung themselves, but everyone else as well. The “unintended consequences” of restricting credit so consumers can’t hang themselves is that now high quality borrowers can’t get a loan either. The unintended consequence of labeling this a sub-prime crisis is that it has given many consumers the mistaken assumption that applying for a mortgage loan is business as usual, if your credit score is high enough.
and other expenses might affect your ability to qualify when the time comes. These challenging times will pass, but in the interim, its time to protect yourself, get the facts, and understand how this credit crisis affects your personal financial picture.
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Sept/Oct2008
By Jaime V. Habert San Diego has always been a hotbed for great musical talent and that’s why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to highlight some of this city’s most promising acts. This month, it’s all about Delaney Gibson. Her unique style, intelligent lyrics, and astonishing voice have made a huge impact on the industry and we can hardly wait to see what’s next! Gibson’s newly released album, “The Worst Kind of Way”, is available off her website (www.delaneygibson.com) and you can find out more about this breakthrough artist at www.myspace.com/delaneygibson.
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1. Have you always known that you wanted to pursue music as a career? Yes! My first performance was at age five. I was Noah’s Conscience in my kindergarten musical, “Noah and the Ark,” I really only got the part because I could memorize the lyrics to the song, which was pretty long. But I ended up falling in love with performing and singing, and I haven’t stopped since! 2. Are your parents musicians? Oh, no! No one in my family has any musical ability. My dad swears he could sing before he hit puberty but I don’t believe him! My mom is really creative and I’m sure I got some ability from her. 3. Who taught you to play piano and guitar? I really taught myself. I had a few guitar lessons and piano Sept/Oct2008
lessons along the way but I really just spent hours and hours alone teaching myself new things everyday. I am an only child and I liked it much more than watching TV. Ha ha! I was kind of a nerd growing up. 4. What artists have influenced your style of music? Everything and everyone influence me in some way or another, but my biggest influence would be Dolly Parton because of her immense songwriting talent and wonderful voice. I would sit and listen to and learn her songs for hours and hours growing up. I also love Nina Simone for her raw emotion and piano playing, and any of the great folk singer/ songwriters like Joan Baez and Joni Mitchell. 5. How did you come about working with Italian operatic singer, Andrea Bocelli? I actually performed before him at the Vision of the Children Benefit in San Diego. I have my degree in Opera and have studied classically since age nine. It was an amazing honor just to be in the same room with him! He sings with such emotion and the quality of his tone is exceptional. What I remember most about him was how genuine his smile was. He was truly humbled and grateful for the audience applauding him. 6. Do you have a favorite song off your new album? If so, why? I think my favourite song would be “I Think I Have OCD.” It’s this quirky little love song that I wrote about 2 months before the album was done. We had already finished all the songs but I really believed in this one, and convinced my producers to let me put it on the album. It lists all the things I am afraid of in life, but that nothing scares me more than the thought of losing my love. It’s really sweet and funny at the same time. And I really love the lap steel in it, too! 7. Are you currently signed to an independent label? Are you interested in being signed to one of the major labels? I have had some nice offers but in the end they weren’t the right fit. I’m working really hard and doing it on my own for now. I want to get myself into a position where I can always try and keep it about the music, and that can be hard with a label. That isn’t to say I’m not looking! It just has to be right. 8. What drives you to keep performing and expressing your art? I can’t imagine my life without it. I have to do it. It’s my vice, my drugs, whatever you want to call it, but I could not live without singing, playing, performing, writing, etc… I really have no other way to say the things I want to say.
What is your usual sushi order? Albacore Sashimi and Sake! Who is your style inspiration? I love vintage dresses or tutus with cowboy boots. I am really inspired by people like Zooey Deschanel and Audrey Kitching. They’re really opposite, but they both strike something in me. What are your goals for the future? Get the world to hear my debut album, “The Worst Kind of Way.” Sell a gazillion copies! Tour the World! Keep living every moment of my life to the fullest! We at San Diego Woman can’t imagine a long car ride without blasting Delaney’s new cd, “The Worst Kind of Way”. We hope you’ve enjoyed our first SPOTLIGHT feature. If you’re a San Diego artist who feels they deserve a spotlight send your CD’s to: Entertainment Editor 254 East Grand Ave Escondido, CA 92025 Or e-mail your promotional kits to entertainmenteditor@sandiegowoman.com
♫Upcoming Events September
20th Janet Jackson San Diego Sports Arena 25th Kenny G Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay 26th Seal Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay 27th Anita Baker Pala Casino
28th Etta James Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay 30th Santana Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre
♫
October
5 Dashboard Confessional San Diego Sports Arena th
7th Neil Diamond San Diego Sports Arena 9th Sara Bareilles Spreckles Theatre
16th Jimmy Buffet Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre
♫
31st Jason Mraz San Diego State Open Air Theatre
Photos: Jeannette Villarreal
♫
Sept/Oct2008
San Diego
What is your favorite Coffee Bean beverage? Everyday! Ice Blended Mocha, No Sugar Added, with Extra Whipped Cream!!!
Woman
Just For Fun
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The Mommy Makeover
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Having a baby is a ˊ life changing wonderful event for most women. Unfortunately, along with the positive aspects of motherhood come some side effects that are often difficult for women to accept. We all watch the rich and famous, who seem to bounce back from pregnancy turning up pool side in a bikini only weeks after the blessed event. This might be common after baby number one, and for those with unlimited hours to work out and follow the advice of their high priced personal trainers and nutritional gurus, but for most women getting back into shape after a pregnancy may not be as easy. In many cases, no matter how many hours you spend at the gym or how much you deny yourself any fattening foods, our bodies just don’t seem to be like they were pre-baby. When this is the case there are some alternatives to help us get back the body we miss.
ˊ that he affectionDr. Stuart Kincaid, specializes in a process ately refers to as a “Mommy Makeover.” This includes several procedures done at one time to give Mommy back the body she so badly misses. I caught up with a patient of Dr. Kincaid’s, Amy Maddox, who decided that after three children she needed some help to get her confidence and her body back to what she wanted. In a 5 ½ hour procedure Amy had a abdominoplasty (more commonly referred to as a Tummy Tuck), breast augmentation, smart liposuction of the inner and outer thighs (which is laser assisted liposuction), a full face micro laser peel (erbium laser) and lip augmentation. After her procedures Amy spent 2 days at the Hideaway Retreat to help recuperate from her procedures. Amy notes, “They have medical personnel on staff to help nurse you back to health. They are equipped with electropedic beds. They provide all your meals and transportation from surgery and to and from your post-operative visits. It was a very quiet and peaceful atmosphere to recover in.” One of the most important elements when deciding to undergo any cosmetic procedure is to choose a doctor in whom you have complete confidence, for Amy Dr. Kincaid was the obvious choice. “He has over 24 years experience. He makes you feel comfortable because he is honest and straight forward in his answers. He chooses to do surgery in only the safest environment. “ How did the Mommy Makeover change Amy’s life? “The mommy makeover changed my life because I no longer feel self conscious about my appearance in clothes or a bathing suit. I can now go clothes shopping and feel good when I try something on. I believe because I feel better about myself, it has benefited my husband, children and everyone else around me.”
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Sept/Oct2008