Serious (Husband) Shopping by Paula McVay When I expressed that God had not confirmed that I was to spend the rest of my life with him, he exclaimed, “What do you expect God to do, hit you over the head with a hammer and say, ‘This is the one’?” I was thinking, “Well maybe.”
Your first thought might be “internet dating.” Wrong………..this was way before that was even imagined. As a l2-year-old girl living in a home filled with strife, I knew I wanted a better life. My mom and step-father constantly yelled with anger and vile language. My other five siblings and I often had to dodge items flying through the air. I began to realize that my mom had not done a good job of “shopping” for a new husband after my biological-dad was killed in a trucking accident when I was seven-years-old. One really good thing Mother did, though, was send us to church. There, I learned about a God who shows love, grace, and mercy through His loving and Godly people. I surrendered my life to that God and began to seek strength for my present situation and wisdom for the future. That, of course, meant I would need a Godly husband…thus the shopping. How would I proceed? Hiding in my closet each night with a towel across the bottom of the door so my mother would not see the light, I voraciously read my little white zippered Bible to seek instruction for how I needed to live to find that Godly husband. First, I determined to keep myself pure and only date guys with high moral standards. It seems there were only six or seven in my high school who met those standards. One of them was an upperclassman who thought he was in love with me. He told me that my expectations were unrealistic, and since we were both nice Christian people, we should agree to get married after college.
I tried to explain to him that I had been reading my Bible in James 1:5 that said I could ask for wisdom and God would graciously give it to me over and over as I kept asking. I knew that I could not settle for what might be just a good thing. I wanted the best for both our futures. God’s wisdom often comes in deep impressions or through a series of events. I began to sense that I should attend a Christian college about four hours away. When I told my mother, she became angry, telling me I was using poor judgement since I had earned two full-tuition scholarships to other schools in the area. She promised to purchase a car for me if I would stay at home, continue to cook all the meals and care for my two younger brothers. Even though I loved my brothers, I knew God was calling me to step out in faith. When I refused my mother’s offer, she asked me to leave the day I graduated from high school. With the support of my church family, I applied and was accepted to a Christian liberal arts college in the Oklahoma City area. I had some small scholarships, but not nearly enough for the first semester. My plan was to live with my cousin and her husband in Fort Worth, Texas where God led me to a job in the accounting department of a large business. I would be able to save enough money to enroll the 2nd semester. As Isaiah 55 says, God’s plans are not always the same as ours. “..My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55:9 (NIV)