celebrity halloween rundown: the good, the bad, the plenty? celebrity halloween rundown: the good, the bad, the plenty?

BY VANI KANT

Megan Fox and MGK as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and… slutty confessional?

Also Jesy Nelson and Noah Sapon as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. Also, Liam Payne and his new girlfriend as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. It seems like all the celebrities that won’t shut up no matter how much we or their PR agents tell them got together for a conference, and no one gave Ellen the memo.

For Fox and MGK, though, one attack wasn’t enough. eir second couple’s costume was the classic emo priest and sex worker. e costumes aren’t particularly surprising, as the couple is infamous for their peculiar public displays of a ection that include drinking each other’s blood and sex that has allegedly made the devil clutch its rosary (yeowch!). It’s just annoying enough for you to sco when you see it on your timeline. At this point, we’re just watching a horny teen couple live out their rockstar fantasy online. Sometimes I really wish there was a major moral panic against sex again, because maybe then they’d nally stop.

My only meaningful commentary here is that such costumes only serve to sensationalise a traumatic part of Pamela Anderson’s life. Pam and Tommy weren’t a cheeky, raunchy couple that released their sex tape in the great name of democraticising media. at sex tape was leaked, Tommy Lee was an abuser, and Anderson has never had agency over how her story has been told. Have some decorum.

For those not in the know, Billie Eilish, 20, recently started dating e Neighbourhood frontman Jesse Rutherford, 31. Pre-empting the backlash the ten-year age di erence would obviously receive, the couple decided that being in on the joke was the most sound PR strategy. For reference, the joke is grooming. It’s an absurd display of knowing exactly what’s wrong with your relationship and doing absolutely nothing except the worst thing about it. Jesse Rutherford, get away from her. Billie, you’re a victim.

It’s nothing crazy, but that’s the beauty of it. Lizzo has gracefully maintained the illusion of achievability with her Marge, who is presented to us without many creative liberties. In contrast, CardiB’s Marge has had her fair share of red carpets. Not to pit two queens against each other, though; both shine in their own way, but Lizzo’s whimsical Marge shines among glamorous celebrity costumes.

I was con icted about whether I should capitalise “worm” or not. Was Heidi a particular worm? e Worm? But no, she’s just your common run-othe-mill worm. Now, this is what I’m talking about! is is the real spirit of halloween — just some truly o -putting costumes. Klum, known for outdoing herself every Halloween with her ingenious costumes, truly outdid herself as a giant, eerily realistic yet animated worm. What’s more, she arrived at her party’s red carpet attached to a shing hook held by husband Tom Kaulitz who went as a bloody, one-eyed sherman. Maybe this is blue curtain-ing a celebrity costume, but are there parallels with Moby Dick to be found here?

Re: the actual costume, I love the attention to detail on the worm — the underbelly being scarred and withered was an inspired nal touch.

A poll among the Beaver editorial board indicated 60% in favour of Klum’s worm, with the rest either absent or wrong.

Addison Rae is drinking from the fountain of knowledge. is was one of the only truly inspired and fresh costumes we got this year. Lady Gaga’s performance of Paparazzi at the 2009 VMAs is one of those pop-culture moments that make you stop and think, wow. I got to witness that. e fact that no HD version of that performance exists on the internet is genuinely our generation’s Library of Alexandria burning. Addison channeled Gaga’s craze beautifully in her halloween shoot, and I wish I’d thought of it before her. She looks incredible. You just can’t go wrong with referencing Mother.