Away with you, Superwoman!

Superwoman, someone who can apparently effortlessly juggle a successful career (and side-hustle – why not?), raise well-rounded, privileged children and have a delightful partner at their perfectly kept home has become deeply ingrained in our society. It is often seen as the pinnacle of female achievement, a standard that women are expected to meet or surpass. However, this idealised image of the superwoman is not only unrealistic but also harmful to women’s mental and physical wellbeing.

Listening to exhausted working mothers, desperately trying to do it all, anxiously doubting their ability to do it all, feeling disheartened by the constant stream of ‘success stories’ shared by their peers on social media, leading them to question their own worth and why they don’t always feel capable of handling the workload as effortlessly, stylishly, or gracefully as others seem to, leads me to propose the idea that the term superwoman, despite its frequent use, is a harmful and disempowering cocept. It has become an impossible competition that challenges us to prove who is doing the most, creating an environment where it seems we should strive to be the busiest woman. But having it all should not be mistaken for doing it all.

In fact, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz first coined the term ‘superwoman syndrome’ in 1984 in her book of the same name, suggesting it comes to pass when a woman neglects herself as she strives to achieve perfection in every role she is fulfilling, measuring success or failure against tangible outputs.

These days ‘syndrome’ has fallen away and we are left with only ‘superwomen’, the term too often implying that women should be able to handle everything, without any assistance or support. It creates an unrealistic expectation that women should excel in all areas of their lives

Tired Excuse

A recent YouGov poll for World Cancer Research asked 2,086 UK adults what prevented them from taking better care of their health with results showing 29% of men and 40% of women answering, ‘feeling too tired’.

simultaneously, without experiencing any setbacks or moments of vulnerability. By glorifying the superwoman archetype, we discourage people from seeking help or relying on others, perpetuating the notion that asking for assistance is a sign of weakness.

The danger in being surrounded by falsely-perceived superwomen is that we may feel compelled to constantly prove ourselves and measure up to the seemingly effortless accomplishments of others, which too often completes the circle of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. This pressure to be superhuman can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout which then, all too often, is taken as a sign that we’re not capable enough, smart enough, strong enough to have everything we want. And to add insult to injury, recent published studies have suggested thatsociety tends to hold women to a higher standard than men and rewards them for not making mistakes.

Another problem with the outdated Superwoman notion is that it suggests that women can ‘have it all’ without making any sacrifices – but I am yet to meet such a woman. In reality, achieving balance requires making difficult choices and setting priorities. By promoting the idea that women can effortlessly do it all, we dismiss the challenges and sacrifices that women make behind the scenes. Without recognition there are no ‘thank you’s.

Additionally the term opens the door to undermine the importance of support systems and sharing responsibilities. No one can do everything alone, and the expectation that women can simply multi-task more is unfair and unrealistic. We are led to believe that the extra load should be an honour to carry but being congratulated and admired for taking on more than your fair share can be an insidious type of manipulation, after all heaping onto your load is lightening someone else’s.

So, let us be kind, let us be conscious. Keep in mind that we all have our own unique circumstances and that gushing over a fellow female’s superhuman abilities to seemingly do it all is likely more harmful than helpful. Let us measure success not by how much we do but by how well we prioritise and find fulfilment in various aspects of life. We should celebrate the strength and resilience of women without pressuring them to be superhuman.