LIVES WORTH LEADING
THE POWER OF OUR PRESENCE BE A BLESSING, NOT A CURSE BY COLIN MCCARTNEY
“Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.”
// PROVERBS 11:11
A
few years ago I was a coach on my son’s hockey team. We were in a sudden death playoff game that was tied 3 – 3. With only seconds remaining on the clock my son stole the puck from the opposing defenceman and rushed in alone on their goalie scoring the game-winning goal. The arena broke into pandemonium while our players poured onto the ice to celebrate our inevitable victory. With only a few seconds left on the clock we knew we had won the game and were headed into the next round of the playoffs! After the game I headed into the lobby to celebrate with the parents of our boys when I saw the opposing coach berating the defenceman who had coughed up the puck that ended up in his net. The boy was in tears as his coach laid into him everything he did wrong. Standing in shock and wondering aloud why this boy’s father wasn’t there to protect his son from this belligerent coach a parent responded: “That is his father. The coach is his dad!” As fate would have it we were back on the ice the next week in a familiar scenario—another winner-take-all playoff game. With the game heading to overtime my son gobbled up the puck in his own end and attempted a
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clearing pass up the ice. The pass was intercepted at the blue line and the other team’s forward rushed in and scored. We ended up losing the game and were eliminated from the playoffs. As my son slowly skated to our bench, head hanging low, he hopped the boards and sat in front of me tears welling up in his eyes. I leaned over and whispered into his ear; “Always remember that no matter what happens in life I am always proud of you and always will be. I am here for you no matter what. You are a strong man. You will get through this.” As I reminisce about this story, it reminds me that the most basic definition of a leader is someone who influences others. This means all of us (male and female) are leaders simply because we influence others around us. However, when it comes to being a man I am convinced there is a unique leadership calling that comes to every one of us. Masculine leadership produces a sense of safety, security, respect and confidence for all those who are impacted by a good male leader. Conversely, male leadership that is absent or not lived out correctly creates a sense of danger, insecurity, lack of respect and fear for all within the realm of the ineffective male leader. As a leader I had three options in response to my son that fateful day. I could have chosen to say nothing to him which would have been an abandonment of my leadership respon-
sibilities. I could have disrespected him just like that other coach did by saying things to my son that created fear and insecurity in him. But by God’s grace I did the right thing as a leader by making myself present to my son and supporting him with words of blessing, not cursing. In Proverbs 11:11 we read; “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.” If entire cities can be exalted through blessing or destroyed through cursing how much more can individuals be exalted or demolished by our presence and words? Our wives and children desperately need our blessing. Our friends and neighbours are starving for our blessed presence in their lives. Our cities, nations and world need Christian men who will take the lead by blessing the world with our presence. So, the question we, as men, must ask is this; “Is our leadership influence on others godly, positive and life-affirming or is it negative and life-destroying?” It can only be one or the other.
/ COLIN MCCARTNEY is an ordained minister, speaker, and a bestselling author. He is also the founder of UrbanPromise Toronto and now leads Connect Ministries in Toronto where he, his wife Judith, and their two children reside. To learn more about Colin, go to www.connectministries.org.