year-endawards Attention Whore of the Year: The Bishop of Crunk
JULIA BEVERLY
Oh, you say you don’t know who The Bishop of Crunk is? Trust me, you’ve seen him before. Remember your last trip to Atlanta? Remember that guy jumping shirtless like a crazed psychopath through VIP, dripping sweat on innocent bystanders, begging OZONE to take his picture? No? Well, okay. Just turn on the TV. He’s in that video they’re playing on BET. It doesn’t matter which video: Lil Jon, the Ying Yang Twins, Ludacris, Ciara, Jazze Pha, David Banner, T-Pain, anyone. Any video shoot within driving distance of Atlanta, he’s there. See that guy with the Mohawk in the background, waving cans of CRUNK!!!, hugging every semi-celebrity in sight, just DYING to be seen? Yep, that’s him. No one knows exactly what he is, or what he does. Is he a rapper? A producer? A comedian? A one-man street team? A hype man? A raving lunatic? Or does he have a plan?
JULIA BEVERLY
Granted, there are attention whores in every city, so the list of runner-ups for this award could be long. But with his extreme lack of common sense and disregard for societal restraints, The Bishop of Crunk wins by a long shot. You male groupies will just have to suck rappers’ dicks a little harder next year to try to take his crown! As an extra bonus feature, check out this shot of The Bishop unexpectedly diving headfirst into a carefully prepared CRUNK!!! photo shoot for Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz.
Stop Snitching Award: Superhead We all love to read scandalous stories about celebrities’ sex lives. But Karrine “Superhead” Steffans took things a step too far, releasing a much-hyped tell-all book that detailed her (alleged) trysts with every single rapper, actor, athlete, and music mogul who was hot four years ago. Although some of the details of their sexual romps were entertaining, Superhead tried to spin the book as some kind of I’ve-found-God-look-at-how-much-I’ve-changed revelation. Just be honest, ‘head! We all know why you did it: for the money! But now that they’ve been outed in print, do you think the rap community will stop fucking groupies? Hmmm...probably not. Some things will never change.
Worst Luck: Gucci Mane Runner-up: Lil Kim
IISHA HILLMON
Things aren’t “So Icy” over at Big Cat Records these days. Regardless of who started the animosity between Young Jeezy and Gucci Mane, who once collaborated on a song together, their back-and-forth diss records apparently triggered a snowball of events which led to Gucci Mane’s back-to-back arrests. Denied bail, Gucci Mane is currently awaiting trial on charges of murder
Political Statement of the Year: Kanye West During NBC’s live Hurricane Katrina broadcast pictured above, Kanye West stuttered nervously about racism in America for a few minutes before finally gathering his thoughts to blurt out the shot heard ‘round the world: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” The only thing more priceless than the instant cutaway to a stunned Chris Tucker was the expression on Mike Myers’ face.
Mad Rapper Award: Chamillionaire
Worst Song: “Laffy Taffy” Sorry, D4L, but it’s true. 58
OZONE
JULIA BEVERLY
Runner-up: Pastor Troy
Now, Chamillion is actually a pretty cool guy. And look, he’s even smiling (or is that a smirk?) in this picture! But he’s earned the title of mad rapper. Cham is the type of person who always speaks his mind. “Some people might say that makes me an asshole,” he admitted to OZONE back in August. “But it makes me feel better. It makes me feel like a real nigga.” Whether it’s a threedisc album aimed at his enemy “Dyke Jones,” rumored beef (now squashed) with his former partner Paul Wall, or his debut album entirely focused on Revenge, Cham is Houston’s mad rapper. Over in Atlanta, we heard Pastor Troy is mad that he doesn’t get recognition for “starting crunk music.” He also put out the single “Murda Man,” dissing Lil Jon for not including him on his newest album.