Flavor Flav’s reality dating show Flavor of Love was a pop-culture hit. Since Flav’s show was such a success, and he doesn’t have any plans for another season, we decided to compile a list of artists we’d like to see give reality television love a go. If anyone at VH1, MTV, E! (I guess, we can include BET), wants to make any of these happen, call the OZONE office, and we can help.
By Randy Roper & Jee’Van Brown
Snoop Dogg
If Snoop wasn’t married, this show would already be on the air, and probably on season two by now. Snoop would nickname all the girls after dogs, have a “Roll Up Challenge” to see who could roll a blunt the fastest, and have a “Hair Challenge” to see which girl could braid and perm his hair the best.
Kanye West
In an attempt to get over his 808s & Heartbreak, the Louis Vuitton Don’s show would consist of all gold diggers that dropped out of college. But being that Kanye can’t stand to see other people win anything, we seriously doubt ‘Ye would pick a winner for the show (he’d probably chose himself ). He’s that heartless.
Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy would have a “Crank Dat” dance challenge, and the winner would be featured in his next video. During eliminations Soulja Girls’ chains would be made of rubber bands with a Superman charm, and contestants would be required to wear sunglasses with “I Love Soulja Boy” written in White-Out on them. Soulja Boy would super-soak every hoe that gets eliminated.
Gucci Mane
Gucci Mane would have every girl poppin’ pills to see how freaky they could get. He would have all the bad girls bagging and cutting up all types of drugs (preferably bricks). Gucci’s mom would be on the show to make sure he didn’t bring home any freaky girls.
FreEkEy Zekey
With numerous videos on the net of him popping champagne on girls’ heads, cursing women out, and behind the scenes footage of him with porno stars, this Dipset rapper would be perfect for a Flavor of Love show. On Zekey’s show the females will wrestle in a pool of champagne for the rappers love, while others may quit from the blunt rudeness. Zekey will never be a better rapper than Jim Jones or Juelz Santana, but the sidekick-turned-reality-TV-star route worked for Flavor Flav. Dipset!
26 // OZONE MAG
Too Short
VH1 should have thought of this by now. The network wouldn’t have to cast any ladies; Short Dawg already has the hoes on deck. Short’s show would be Hugh Hefner style, an E! network The Girls Next Door spinoff. Instead of a competition, all of his women would live with him under one roof, and viewers would tune in weekly just to hear Too Short say his favorite word, “BIIIIIIITCH!”
Lil Wayne
Rumors were, Weezy was approached by VH1 about doing a Flavor of Love type show last year, but he didn’t go for it. We think it would’ve been a good idea. Contestants would have to suck on lollipops in their mouths at all times, say “the baby” when in bed with Weezy F., and at some point they’d have to let the Birdman hit it. Nivea probably wouldn’t like the show, but the ratings would be a milli.
Akon
Everyone knows Akon practices polygamy, so the best part about his show is that he wouldn’t have to eliminate anyone. It don’t matter, he’s so paid, he can afford to keep them all. That way, ‘Kon would never be lonely again.
T-Pain
In theory, the idea of a Teddy Pain show sounds good, but he’d probably fall in love with a stripper (or bartender) during the first episode, cancel the show and move her into a mansion…somewhere in Wis-canson. But listening to Pain’s vocoder all day would probably drive her crazy, and she’d chop-nscrew him before the reunion special even airs.
Plies
Actually, the casting call for Plies’ “Bust It Baby” reality show took place earlier this year, and literally, every “bust it baby” in the country tried out for this show (see YouTube for the footage). This show hasn’t aired but we can imagine the competitions. The “Slang Challenge” would be the best; Plies would test the girls to see who could rap with the most slang, but speak properly during interviews. The contestants will receive their chains with goon (or goonness?) charms on them.