DEATH | By Wendy Day (www.RAP-COALITION.COM)
I
had written an article for this month’s column about the proliferation of negativity in this industry—namely, HATERS! It has gotten so bad that some of my more powerful friends have been holding conference calls to block and destroy the people who are attacking them with words (publicly and privately). I am a more karma-driven person than a pro-active blackballer, but I understand it. But you’ll have to wait til next month to read about how to handle the haters in your life, because last night I heard that Shakir Stewart shot and killed himself. And while I understand why people want to stop the pain they are feeling, I have to admit that the news of his death shocked the shit out of me. It brought back the pain I felt when I heard Pac passed, and when I got that call from Vanessa Satten at XXL telling me there were rumors that Pimp C had died. She wanted me to call his Mom to see if he was okay. Nah, I’ll pass on making that call: “I hear your son may be dead. Have you heard?” I immediately called Chad’s cell phone and was able to leave him a voicemail—that was an encouraging sign that his voicemail wasn’t full. I called Julia Beverly at OZONE and Grouchy Greg at AllHip Hop, neither of whom had heard the rumor yet—more good signs. Both did call me back within the hour to verify his death, however, while my assistant called Greg Street who also verified it as truth, not fiction. The thing about death is that it is both personal and public. So not only do you have to deal with your own feelings of loss, but you have to deal with others’ reactions as well. So, not only did Shakir leave my life, and the industry, but he left the lives of his family, friends, children, co-workers, artists, and fans. He also left the people he interacted with along the course of his daily life, from the person who cut his hair to the guy who parks his car or sells him coffee in the morning. Bear with me as I write about death, because I’m trying to understand the loss of a guy who from the outside looking in seemed to have everything going for him - success, a dream job, a great life, money, connections, power, kids - but youu never know what the next person is going through. When Biggie passed away, it was a mess. He left behind a wife, a mother, children, and a label CEO, all of whom seemed to have some stake in ownership in him. Biggie left no will, no paperwork, no instructions for what HE wanted to happen after his death, so there was nothing to sort out the mess besides time and fighting. When Pimp C passed, it was also a mess. He had a wife who had legal say, but also a mother, artists, a label, and a partner, all of whom had emotional claim to what came next. Chad also died without leaving any instructions. The outcome after your passing may be a scenario that you would never want to have happen. So handle it now. Here are the basics: • A Will: A will is a legal document that enforces your wishes of what happens in the event of your death. It says who gets what, whether you’ll be buried or cremated, if you want to donate organs or body parts, and who gets to make decisions about your estate. When I die, I want to be cremated and sprinkled in the ocean, and this document specifies exactly that. • Life InsurancIf you have children or loved ones that you want supported financially, after you are no longer alive to do so, get an insurance policy. I pay a little under a thousand dollars a year for a million dollars worth of coverage. If I die, my Mom will become a wealthy woman because it is my intention to take care of her as she gets older, and if I am not here to do so, someone has to. • An Estate Executor: If you are someone who has wealth, this is an important aspect of your instructions. You need to choose a friend, a family member, or a professional (like an accountant, lawyer, or business manager) to handle your business when you are gone. Biggie’s mom handles his estate. Tupac’s mom handles his estate. A business manager named Artie Erk handles J Dilla‘s estate. My entertainment attorney will handle my estate. I trust him and he knows me well enough to know what I’d want and not want. Here are some of the things an Executor will need to know: • Vital Statistics and Data: Parent’s address, children’s names and addresses (and birthdates), and your correct date of birth. Gather this information in a notebook: Full Name, Address, Birthplace, Date of birth, Social Security number, Marital status, Husband or wife’s name, Children names and dates of birth, Father’s name, birth date
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and birthplace (city and state) Mother’s full maiden name, birth date and birthplace (city and state). Keep copies of your official birth certificate and social security card with this personal information. • Personal Data: Year moved to current address; Education: High school attended, year graduated, colleges attended, dates of graduation and degrees. • Occupation: Employed by or retired from and any additional employment information you want known; Church Membership or Affiliation; Heritage/Ancestry; Veteran: Branch of Service, Date enlisted, Serial number, Date of discharge, Location of discharge papers, Last rank, Additional military information (It is helpful if a copy of the veteran’s discharge and form DD214 are stored with this personal profile); Professional/Fraternal/Charitable/Social Organizations. • People to Notify: List Full name, address, phone number and your relationship to this person • Personal Records: List all Bank Accounts-- Checking and Savings-- Name of bank, Type of account, Address, Phone number, Account number; Safe Deposit Box: Name of bank, Address, Telephone, The name on the box if not your own, Location of key; Insurance Policies List policies with name of Company, Policy number, Name of insured, Amount of benefit, Beneficiary, Location of policies; Pension Plan: Name of company, address; Real Estate Owned: Address, Location of Deeds and Titles, other documents related to the real estate • Location of Important Papers: Automobile Registration; Birth Certificate; Income Tax Records for past 3 years; Marriage Certificate/Divorce certificate; Last Will and Testament; Original Last Will and Testament and the copies; Stocks and Bonds; Attorney’s Name, Address, Phone number; Accountant’s Name, Address, Phone number; Executor’s Name, Address, Phone number; Real Estate Broker’s name, Address, Phone number; Stockbroker’s Name, Address, Phone Number; Authorized persons to arrange final details of funeral (chose two); Additional information: extra keys, car title, bills, loans that need to be paid off, etc. • Funeral Service Choices: Choice of funeral home, name, address and phone number; Type of service, Catholic, protestant, new age etc.; Location of service, name address and phone Officiate, Clergy, other: Name, address and phone. Other speakers or readers at servicName, address and phone numbers; Participating Organization: Fraternal or Military Pallbearers: Name, Address, phone numbers; Honorary Pallbearers: Name, Address, and phone numbers. Obituary: Yes or No, Photo attached?; Name of newspaper, address; Family Visitation: yes or no; Public Visitation: Yes or no; Casket: Open or closed; Casket typSteel, Copper, Bronze, Wood, other; Casket Color, Interior Color; Flag: Yes or No, Folded or Draped; Clothing: From current wardrobe or new; Jewelry: Yes or No; Preference of Flowers; Memorials: Full name and mailing address; Favorite Poetry, scriptures or other readings; Music; Items to Display: Collection of Family Photographs, Favorite possessions, Family mementos, Awards received; Special Items to be placed in casket, etc. • Cremation: Urn: Wood, Metal, Steel, Copper, Bronze, other Disposition of Remains- Earth burial, Entombment, Kept by the family, Scattering, other Special instructions if kept by family: Special instructions for scattering. If Earth Burial: Outer Burial Container: Yes or No Concrete, Steel, Bronze, Other Exterior Color Inscription Name of Cemetery: Location: Lot in name of: Section: Lot: Block: Plot: Inscription for memorial marker: If Entombment: Name of Columbarium, Location, Inscription for memorial marker There are professionals who handle this planning for you before you die; lawyers and accountants who specialize in estate planning. But the bottom line is that you need to take care of it now. After you pass away, it’s difficult enough for those you leave behind. Don’t allow them to fight amongst each other because you were too lazy, or too scared, to plan for your future beyond your life—especially if you have kids. I have watched too many friends die and the uncertainty is cruel, at best. When Proof passed away, he had an entire record label but no instructions on who’d run it, how it would run, how it would be funded, or what would happen to the staff and artists signed to the label. I can’t imagine Proof would have wanted it to end like that. When Pimp C passed away, the careers of his artists came to a grinding halt. This forced his wife to wake up the next morning as a label owner, plus deal with her husband’s death, whether she wanted that responsibility or not. Planning for your death doesn’t mean you are going to die anytime soon. It’s just the responsible thing to do. And if Biggie, Pac, Proof, Pimp C, and others made plans for what would happen when and if they passed away, it would have made the lives so much easier for those they left behind. Folks will already be grieving over your loss. To make them step up and handle business, make hard decisions, and fight over what remains (worst case scenario) is crueler than cruel. //