s ha ow try but n u’re n o ou s, r c on e y ion ou nati tim gnat , y e l ill al th esi y R ’Re of l O nvy . If, b er of l i B e e up ett d , an as th s fed ur L s. ush es w taff i ion o nd u B , t s nat n fi uts ta E ca ilo d S ON is ba nite e OZ ng th e you r a e U Th tti er l l o th s. mi wh u nd lio when ol b e sub ere’s l i y n b e scho e’ll b 09, h erl ee im ev tw e a t llow nt, w ry 20 B e c ye e ia a .B Jul ed s on tle sid anu Malik Abdul ,& ack e wa he lit h Pre me J y j i t i t co h er n t Promotions c r 4 n ive e4 s ee . Th o Director sR s b tion lown e th for u a M (Orlando, FL) l h e na ss c com ing n, i u r f k r i l e a i t To be truly honest, I au host he cl as b e loo ric Pe e h u’r b a t E wouldn’t go nowhere. Shit, n, the e me ain yo yso ca ecombeco McC n. If i the only thing in America T r e e o n b c s that is negatively affecting Am idly a ha , Joh fuck en r r s p e ra eric thi the me is the high ass price of a, T l g l g m A din vin Ye gas. All these failing financial g a o re d m Kin institutions and shit don’t by an s really matter to me. I’m planning on going back oto h P to shoebox banking anyway, so my money will be safe. Why would I leave America when I have the opportunity to see folks who declined me for mindless, menial jobs now being turned down for minimum wage work themselves? “Sorry, sir, but you’re overqualified to work the register at Sam’s Club.” I wouldn’t leave this country just because the government is collapsing, I’d rather stay and help D-RAY - WEST COAST EDITOR AT bring about the real “change” I want to be a part of. LARGE (MEXICO) I am Malik “Obama” and I approved this message. I’m gonna be an illegal alien in Mexico.
Hopefully they don’t deport my ass; after all, I am Mexican. The Mexican lifestyle is totally different. You can get away with more stuff, and for me that’s good, ‘cause I’m a G. Another reason I’d move to Mexico is to remember Spanish. I used to speak Spanish when I was 13 because that’s all that my great-grandmother spoke, but it wasn’t cool to speak Spanish back then. People would call you a wetback and accuse you of having just ran across the border. The U.S. is so bad now that it’s time for Americans to sneak past the border into Mexico. The worst part about living in Mexico would be that I don’t like Latin men. I guess I could get used to wearing Mexican clothes and sombreros, but I can’t see myself trading in the Benz for a donkey.
Ashley Smith (Bahamas)
I went there for vacation when I was 17, and I loved it; it’s such a beautiful place and since it’s a tourist spot there’s a lot of entertainment. My cousin owns a business in the Bahamas, so I could just down there and work with him. I wouldn’t get bored because there are a lot of things to, like scuba dive with the dolphins, or go snorkeling.
Mercedes Streets - STREET SMASHER (CUBA)
I’m building a raft in my backyard. If McCain wins, I’m taking my Cuban ass back to Cuba! We are starting to be a joke as a country; our current President seems to be living out a life long dream of being a stand-up comedian. Every time I see him making a speech, he has that stupid smirk on his face and says “heh heh heh.” A lipstick pitbull/hockey mom is a heartbeat away from becoming the next President! I saw Palin on TV and thought she was more of a parody of herself than Tina Fey! I could go on all day, but I must get back to putting my sail on my raft! Meet me in Cuba and we can start our own democratic society. I’ll be on the Eastside on Baracoa Beach with a Mojito, a Cuban cigar, and a plan of rebuilding Cuba to its glory days! Libertad! Libertad!
Julia Beverly - Editor-in-Chief (Jamaica)
If our government doesn’t stop handing out billion dollar bailouts to greedy execs with multi-million dollar salaries, I’m leaving behind my life of American stress. You may be able to find me (but probably not) laying on a beach somewhere in Jamaica jammin’ to Bob Marley. I’m not sure how long I’ll last without a Blackberry and internet access, but life as a Jamaican offers several advantages: no deadlines, no meetings, no stress. I’ll have a spectacular tan and be rockin’ braids for two weeks straight instead of having to flat-iron my shit every morning. Plus, island men love me.
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Jen “Ms Rivercity” McKinnon Special EditIons Editor (Columbia)
I’m going to Columbia. The dollar is still worth more than their currency (but probably not for long) and Columbians like American girls. Yeah, I know they like to kidnap Americans over there, but I know people that know people so I ain’t worried about that. I’d post up on the islands off the coast and invest my money in coffee beans or one of their other cash crops. My Spanish is pretty good so it makes sense for me to go to a Latin country. A cold climate is definitely out of the question, and Europeans are too weird (and homosexual) for my taste. I’d move to Mexico but you can’t drink the water, and pretty soon they’ll be barricading their border and not letting any Americans into Mexico. Ironic, huh?