Ozone Mag #65 - Mar 2008

Page 35

Last year we brought you the Great Under-The-Influence Moments In Rap History, but with the prevalence of drugs and alcohol in pop culture, moments that make you say, “he must have been high” never stop. Here are 20 moments from this past year where we think someone was more than likely under the influence.

<< When Cam’ron Was On 60 Minutes

In what has got to be the most idiotic representation of Hip Hop on national television, Killa Cam not only embarrassed himself but the entire rap game with his support of “stop snitching” and serial killers on 60 Minutes. We’ll blame his bonehead comments on purple haze.

When Mr. Collipark signed Soulja Boy

Signing Soulja Boy ended up being the move of a genius, but to hear Soulja Boy’s music and actually see the vision behind it, Smurf had to be out of his mind. When Terrell Owens Cried After The Cowboys’ Playoff Loss

Grown men aren’t supposed to cry, and they sure as hell aren’t supposed to cry on national television. T.O. has done some crazy things during his tenure in the NFL, but when he cried for his quarterback after Dallas’ loss to the New York Giants in this year’s playoff, we have assume Owens was on something. Maybe he got it from his teammate, you know, his quarterback? << When G-Unit Clothing Launched

50 Cent and Marc Ecko’s G-Unit clothing line recently folded, but those two must have been passing a doobie when they decided to launch G-Unit gear in the first place. Those G-Unit tank-tops looked more like Gangstalicious bras. At least Tony Yayo, Lloyd Banks and Young Buck won’t be forced to wear that bullshit anymore. When Gucci Mane Dissed T.I.

Back in July of 2007, Gucci Coochie dropped a diss record called “What Kind of King (I Smell Pussy)” on the King of the South. He would later apologize, stating that there was a misunderstanding, where he thought Tip dissed him on the T.I. vs. T.I.P. album. Stay off of those mushrooms, Gucci. They make you hallucinate. When Nas Titled His Album Nigger

No one makes headlines with album titles like God’s Son. But to think up this title for his new album, Nasir was probably getting high with Michael Richards when he came up with this one. Fabo right now

No one was seen or heard much from Fabo lately. He’s probably high as a muthafucker, right now. Maybe he’s somewhere geeked up, chasing spaceships around Bankhead. When Trey Songz Jumped Into The Crowd

If you haven’t seen the video where Trey Songz leaps into the crowd during a performance, it’s on YouTube. Songz literally tried to superman a hoe. I guess he was so high, he couldn’t help but wait until after the show. When Master P Encouraged Hip Hop To Clean Up Its Lyrics

In the wake of attacks on Hip Hop lyrics, Percy Miller vowed to clean up his music and encouraged other rap artists to do the same. But no one has listened to P since “Make ‘Em Say Uhh.” Why would anyone start back paying attention to him now? Nigga, please. What was he smoking? When Chingy Signed Back To DTP

Ching-a-ling had a good run during his first stint with Disturbing Tha Peace. But did Luda and Chaka Zulu really think we wanted another Chingy album on DTP? They must have been on that “Blueberry Yum Yum” to think Hate It or Love It would be more than a new weed plate. Word to Charlamagne Tha God. When Whitney Houston Left Bobby Brown

They were high for the duration of their relationship, so we’ll just assume Whitney was high when it ended too. “Crack is wack,” so who’s going to smoke with her now? (Ray J?)

34 // OZONE MAG

When T.I. Made T.I. vs. T.I.P.

The concept for T.I.’s fifth album was creative, but to actually complete an album where you battle yourself over 18 tracks is borderline psychotic. Clifford’s not crazy (although, that topic is up for discussion) but we know what it is. Da Dopeman’s been getting high on his own supply. Every Time Lupe Fiasco Speaks

Fiascogate was just the beginning. Every time Lupe made a comment in the media since botching the lyrics to A Tribe Called Quest’s “Electric Relaxation,” it sounded like a contradiction to the music he makes. In between dropping dope albums, he must be kick, pushing on skateboards while daydreaming with a pound of that good stuff. When Shawnna Left DTP

Artists leave their labels all the time, but when DTP’s first lady left Luda and company for Gucci Mane’s So Icey, we couldn’t help but ask, “Is she rollin’?” She might be. When Rick Ross Took Off His Shirt On Camera >>

Rick Ross is probably high all the rest of the time too but taking off his shirt on camera is just wrong. We know you’re trilla, but don’t do that again, Ross. Please. When 50 Cent Released Curtis

50’s album had songs with Justin Timberlake, Mary J. Blige, Nicole Scherzinger and Robin Thicke on it. Yeah, he gets money but to release an album so commercial, he must get high too. Buck Marley loves to “puff puff pass,” and maybe Curtis is on the receiving end of that. Put down the steroids, Vitamin Water and the weed, Fifty. We want a better album next time. When Yung Joc Tried To Pass Through Airport Security With A Loaded Gun

You can’t bring bottled water on an airplane these days, so why was Joc trying to carry a loaded hand gun on a flight? He must have been high. Airport security doesn’t care if you’re a G, Joc. It’s not goin’ down.

When T-Pain Commented On Ray J’s “Meat”

T-Pain told sohh.com he wouldn’t have sex with Kim Kardashian, which is reason enough to believe he was faded. But when he explained he’d pass up on Kim because he wouldn’t want to go after Ray J, or as Teddy Pain put it, “the man’s got a huge meat,” that’s where we draw the line. Please say you were high. Don’t tell us those comments came from a sober mind. << WhenEVER Aaron McGruder Writes A Boondocks Episode

With the storylines, controversial topics and out-of-line dialogue on each episode of Aaron McGruder’s hit cartoon series The Boondocks, this cartoonist has got to be on cloud nine to come up with this stuff. When Amy Winehouse Finally Went To Rehab

There’s no joke or punchline with this one.


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