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he Baydestrian, known for his versatility and freestyle skills, is signed to Atlantic Records. Here, he confesses his love for white women, fat women, Dominican hookers... and OZONE’s editor. Have you ever paid for pussy? My daddy was a pimp so I can’t pay for nothing. He would probably ask if the game died and track me down or something. But I’ma keep it real, I did one time. It wasn’t my money though. Look, I’ma keep it real – this is how I know it ain’t meant for me to [pay for pussy]. The one time I did, I smashed my head. I was fucking with a broad, right, and jumped up and hit my head on the ceiling fan and my head busted and I was like, I knew it. We were in the Dominican Republic at the Power Summit and the nigga that took us out there [paid for it]. We were at a hotel in the hood, it was kinda shady, and I was in the room with the broad. My niggas knocked on the door so I hopped up and smacked my shit on the ceiling fan. I looked up and said, “Pops, man, I know that was you.” It was pops; the nigga was looking at me [from above] the whole time, like, “Nigga, don’t do it.” I’m like, “This ain’t my money,” so me and him are like having that conversation in my head. He was like, “Don’t do it” and I did that shit anyways and busted my head. This is the first time I went public with that information, but you know, it is what it is. You couldn’t just kick game to some Dominican girls and get one for free? I mean, you know, it was easy to do that. But this bitch was stupid bad. My nigga was like, “Man, let’s go, this is nothin’.” I was like, “Bruh, I ain’t into payin’ for no pussy. I ain’t never pay for no pussy,” but he was like, “Man, don’t trip, it’s good,” and he took care of it. The bitch was fine. Are there any celebrity females you’d like to hook up with? You. You’re the only one I really want to have sex with. If I can have sex with you, I’m cool. Ya feel me? I’d be gooooood. This is an interview though. You really don’t have to flatter me. I’m just saying, though. If I could hit you, man… you’re just hot. Why do you love white women so much? I used to be a slave and I was like, “I’m going to get all y’all back and fuck all your daughters.” Now, you know you white women are the black man’s kryptonite. It could be an average-ass white woman and a fine-ass black female and a nigga’s gonna be like, “Man, you see that white girl over there?” Do black women have a problem with your love for white women? I don’t ever tell [black women] that I don’t like them. My niggas be busting me up sometimes. They be like, “I don’t know why you’re talking to her. You don’t like black girls.” I be like, “C’mon, man, I need them for [record] sales.” You “need them for sales”? You know black women are going to read this article, don’t you? I do like black women. Black women are cool. I don’t really like dark-skinned black females because this girl broke my heart when I was young. This darkskinned chick cheated on me. Fucked me up. I ain’t been right ever since. I ain’t mess with a dark-skinned chick since she broke my heart. She knows who she is. What’s the best line a groupie has approached you with? Groupies are hella funny. They hit you with all type of lines: “You look hecka familiar,” or, “What you be doing?” and I say, “Nothing. I go to school.” I hit ‘em with the [government name] Stanley, right? They be like, “But I seen you somewhere before,” and then one of your songs comes on and they’re like, “Oooh, I love this song, who sings this song?” They try their hardest to act like they don’t know who you are so you can make the first move at them so they don’t feel like a hoe. Female groupies, they main thing is this – here go they top three lines: “I don’t normally be doing this,” “I don’t care who you is, I just don’t be getting down like that,” and then their third line is, “You ain’t going to tell nobody, is you?” (laughs) That’s their favorite line. “I hope you don’t put me in one of them songs.” So, do you put them in your songs? If we have sex, shit, nobody will know except me and you. You said you already put me in a song. I was bullshitting. I was fantasizing about you though. I did jack off thinking about you. What else do you think about when you jack off? All of my ex-girls that I had sex with. Some of the best events, or some head.
Some head. (whistles) I had Ultrahead the other night. She’s way better than Superhead. Ultrahead got some of the best head in the West Coast. For real! Where did you meet Ultrahead? Myspace. She hit me up and she was cute, so I told her to come through. Is Myspace the best way to holla at Mistah FAB? Hell yeah. If you’re white. (laughs) I love Myspace. I got a girlfriend though. Girls hook up with me; I don’t be hooking up with them. Temptation, you know. So why are you trying to hook up with me? You just got that hit-that-shit look. Makes you just want to hit that shit. I know hella niggas tryin’ to hit that shit. You know what it’s like to say that you hit that shit? For a nigga to be able to say, “Yeah, I hit that.” So even in your mind, when you just look at the TV and see the next OZONE Awards on MTV or VH1 and I’m sittin’ at the house eatin’ some Honey O’s with my socks off and my Myspace on, it’s just like, “I hit that.” I’m not that famous. You should find a real celebrity crush. You know niggas are groupies. Certain niggas got certain groupie fetishes. Niggas like fucking powerful people. They don’t even got to be fine. What are you tryin’ to say? No, you’re very beautiful. But I’m saying, like, some people would like to fuck a fat PD of a major radio station or something. Somebody would be like, “Nigga, you like that fat-ass bitch?” and you’d be like, “Nigga, she plays every nigga’s record. She’s bigger than any DJ and I hit that.” Niggas just got certain fetishes that they just want to fuck. It’s like a groupie fetish; certain people with position. You ain’t that famous. People know who you are but they wouldn’t be able to point you out in a lineup. Your name is famous because you’re in a powerful position. I like powerful women. I’d wanna be like, “Yeah, man, I hit that,” and I’d feel good about myself when your magazine grows to be extra thick and shit. I remember back when your magazine used to be like 3 pages long, at the Tech.Nitions Conference in Vegas and stuff. So I just love how you’ve stepped it up. You’ve got cats from major magazines hating on you now cause you’ve done a whole lot. I respect your drive and I just want to be like, “Yeah, I hit that.” You feel me? So how does Mistah FAB like to fuck? It depends. If I like you, I’m trying to impress you. When I hit, I’ma play some music, and when I stroke I’m tryin’ to sex you on beat, feel me? I’m stroking on beat if I like you. You may get a little massage, a little foreplay involved. But if I don’t like you, I’ve still got my clothes on. I’m tryin’ to hit real quick and I may just check some head and go to sleep on your ass. I done did that a couple of times. Check some head and a broad thinks she’s gonna fuck me and I just, you know, (grumbles) “Mmmm, I’m tired,” and nod off on a broad. Why would you be fucking her if you don’t like her? Niggas just be needing to nut sometimes. Niggas are nasty, you ain’t know? I done fucked fat bitches, skinny bitches, all types of bitches just being nasty. It’s like, “Man, nigga, shit. I had to nut but it was hard in the club last night.” All the broads left early and you catch that one fat girl walking out the club and she’s like, “Oh my God, Mistah FAB, you are just so fucking cute,” and you hit her with that line, “Where you finna go?” and she going to say, “Shit, I’m tryin’ to kick it with you!” So you look around and all your homeboys already done rolled off and it’s just you and your security, so you be like, “Follow me.” You take that fat broad up to your room and she’ll give you the best head of your life. Do you know what the best head of your life from a fat broad feels like? Uh.... no. Shit, let a fat nigga eat your pussy. That’s going to be the best head in your life, for real. Is there anything else you’d like to say for the sex issue? Can I have sex with you? No. Anything else? Like, have you ever even thought about it? You ain’t never thought about giving me any of your pussy? Almost? Barely? Did you ever even be like, “I would let this muthafucker fuck, but he might tell somebody,” did you ever think that? Nope. Never? Man, I’ma have to start working out and every time I come around I’m taking my shirt off. I’ma get hella flirtatious with you. //
OZONE WEST // 29