jb’s 2cents
This month, I’m taking a rare monet out to speak to our female readers. Truth be told, I can’t always relate to my female counterparts. Eye shadow, jewelry, shopping, manicures, flowers (with one exception :) and most of the usual “girly” things have never interested me, but trust, I get emotional enough to represent for women.
10 Things I’m Hatin’ On GUEST EDITION
Ladies, we have to smarten up. The longer I stay in the music business the more I realize how idiotic some of us are. The airheaded groupie bitches among us make it hard for those of us who are trying to make a decent living and be treated with respect.
By Eric “Not An Intern” Perrin
The theme this month is: Put all your chains on JB, make her strike a thugged out pose & laugh (Plies started this trend, but the pic never made it in the mag because I looked retarded)
Disclaimer: No, I’m not Roland “Lil Duval” Powell but since OZONE is such a good promotional tool, sometimes it works against us. Partially due to the success of his OZONE column, Roland was too busy working to hate on anybody this month, so it’s my turn.
04 // THE KENTUCKY DERBY Everybody said the Kentucky Derby was the second coming of Freaknik, but there were so many busted nappy headed hoes I thought I was gonna have to pay admission and wait in line to run from they ass. But on a serious note, Kentucky has some dope ass rappers. They might just have next. 5. Oscar de la Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. This shit was boring as hell. Floyd Mayweather shoulda destroyed De La Hoya, but it looked as if he took that Cinco de Mayo theme a bit too far and ate some bad refried beans before the fight.
LUXURY MINDZ
03 // FAKE FRIEND REQUESTS Every time I log onto to Myspace I’ve got 12 fine-ass, half-naked white girls that wanna be my friend, but each one of them has the exact same profile. What kind of loser makes fake Myspace pages all day to disappoint horny niggas with bullshit friend requests?
Me & Carol City Cartel at our mag release party in Miami
Me & Basswood Lane at our Texas Relays party in Austin
BISHOP OF CRUNK
02 // PEOPLE CALLING ME AN INTERN I’m not a fucking intern! Everywhere I go people either refer to me as an intern or try to give me whack ass work, like pinning up posters or passing it out flyers. I may look young, but if I hand you a business card that says “Eric Perrin: Features Editor” I’m probably not an intern.
CARL LEWIS
01 // AKON & HIS 14-YEAR OLD TRINIDADIAN Akon and the 14-year-old preacher’s daughter made a better sex tape than Ray J, R Kelly, or Paris Hilton, and they didn’t even fuck. I gotta give it to Akon, he was dry humping the shit out of that little girl. Immigration must not have let any of his four wives in the country recently.
6. Other Magazines SWAGGER JACKING OZONE Reading any other rap mag is like reading a threemonth-old OZONE. Are we that far ahead of the game or do these other editors just savor the taste of your favorite rapper’s favorite magazine?
Stuff like this has been happening a lot lately. Maybe I need a bodyguard
08 // VIRGINIA TECH GIRLS The girls at Virginia Tech could’ve saved 33 lives if they had just given that crazy ass Asian dude some pussy. People are completely overanalyzing this situation and underestimating the power of pussy. Kim Jong Jr. was just tired of whacking his egg roll and wanted some chop suey. Ladies, if you suspect a possible terrorist, suck a dick and save a life! 09 // PRISON OFFICIALS HATING ON OZONE Every day a prison subscriber calls us complaining that they didn’t get their subscription. A lot of prisons reject OZONE because of the supposed “gang signs” in our photo galleries (peace signs and A-Town down symbols are not gang related). 10. DIPSET Beef Pretty soon every rapper in New York will have beef with each other.
If I pissed anybody off, good. Email me at eric.perrin@ozonemag.com to let me know.
TERRENCE TYSON
07 // The Detroit Pistons I thought Detroit losing Ben Wallace was gonna make them a lottery team for sure. Obviously I was wrong. Fuck the Detroit Pistons.
Dap, me, & TJ in Tallahassee
There’s been a lot of controversy around this whole Don Imus “nappy headed hoes” thing lately, and everybody’s talking about censoring lyrics. Well, guest what: Men are dogs. This is not a news flash. That’s not an excuse for all rap lyrics, but ladies, if we are in the front row at the concert singing along with those same lyrics word for word, we can’t complain. We should always expect that men, famous or not, will test us to see how far they can go and what they can get from us. We have to know who we are and what we want out of life and how much shit we’re willing to put up with. If that line is crossed, don’t catch an attitude and make a fool of yourself. Keep your head up and move on. I saw a few things this month that bothered me. Ladies, if you’re drunk as hell hanging on a dude at the club bragging that he “loves” you because you gave him some pussy, you look like a fool (especially because he was trying to get rid of you and convince me to leave with him behind your back). Ladies, if you follow a man around everywhere he goes with a vacant look on your face and do whatever he tells you to do and call him “daddy” along with ten other women, he does not respect you and personally I’m embarrassed for you. Ladies, if you scream in public to a man you’ve never met before that you want to suck his dick, just because he has a hot mixtape out, you look pathetic. Ladies, if you wait in a hotel lobby for a rapper’s security guard to “pick” you out of a crowd of women, go up to his room and are flat-out disrespected in front of a dozen entourage members, and STILL come to his show that night talking about “I’m with such-and-such,” you will never be taken seriously by me, him, his crew, or anyone else he knows. Men are playing us. Fuck that. We have to step our game up. Maybe I’m weird. Maybe some women just don’t care if they’re respected or not, or can’t tell the difference. But me, I have a complex about that. I have pride. We’ve gotta fight back. But fight smart, not with attitude or violence. Men’s lives revolve around pussy. Some of them focus on getting money, but at the end of the day they want the money to get pussy. Men work hard at their game. We’ve gotta develop our own. We have all the power and don’t realize it. We try to take advantage of pussy power in all the wrong ways. We’ve gotta collectively stop settling for bullshit. Dumb bitches are like the DJ who spins at a party for $50. They fuck the game up for everybody else. Pussy is the most valuable thing we own and it should be treated as such, not given away so easily. I’m not talking about selling pussy, or playing hard to get. Just respect yourself and know what you want. Focus on developing yourself so you’ll be in a position where you have leverage; negotiating power. Don’t be so blind and naive. Pay attention (you bastards). And don’t think I’m exempt, either. I’m talking to ALL of us. I might even be a hypocrite for writing this shit. The optimist in me would like to believe that it’s about a connection between a man and a woman, and not about money or status or random hookups to avoid loneliness. The pessimist in me knows that nothing I write in this column will ever change the world. So I’ll just have to continue on, concert after concert, club after club, watching beautiful yet desperate and insecure women humiliate us as a gender. Critics of rap music always point to the misogynistic “bitch” and “hoe” lyrics, but it’s unfortunate to say that after five years of seeing life partially through the eyes of rappers, it’s not hard for me to see how they can legitimately claim their music is just a reflection of real life. - Julia Beverly, jb@ozonemag.com
Devin the Dude f/ Snoop Dogg & Andre 3000 “What A Job” Foxx, Boosie, & Webbie “Wipe Me Down” Trae f/ Lil Wayne “Screwed Up” Rick Ross “Ridin’ Thru The Ghetto” Shake Severs f/ Rick Ross & BloodRaw “Sunglasses” Fergie f/ Ludacris “Glamorous” David Banner f/ UGK “Suicide Doors” Des-Loc of Piccalo “Stick N Roll”
jb’splaylist T.I. “Big Shit Poppin’” R Kelly f/ Usher “Same Girl” Tabi Bonney “In The Pocket” Bohagon “Bucket”
OZONE MAG // 17