Rappers Who Get No Ass
Rappers Who Get a Lotta Ass
T-Pain T-Pain looks too damn thirsty to accumulate a decent amount of ass. He is sprung one day and in love with a stripper the next. If he is gettin’ ass, best believe he’s paying for it.
Lil Wayne It’s still perplexing as to why Weezy has so many women in love with him, but maybe it’s because he claims he doesn’t have sex; he “makes love.” Then he whispers in their ear, “Please say the baby.”
E-40 He’s a hyphy hero, but if he ever leaves the west coast he’ll be trying to get to you and dat pussy for a long time. 40 is a cool dude, but he shouldn’t make songs about sex. It’s not a good look (put ya stunna shades on).
Shawnna- With as much head as Shawnna claims to get, she has to being giving up a lotta ass.
Chamillionaire Cham might be ridin’ dirty, but he’s just not the sex havin’ type. Can’t you just picture Chamillionaire growing a lizard tale and turning green right before he’s about to fuck? Three 6 Mafia These Memphis mongrels give ugly ma’fuckas a bad name. Even the little kids that played them in the “Poppin’ My Collar” video were atrocious. It wouldn’t be surprising if all the members of Three 6, past and present, were virgins before they became famous – except perhaps Juicy J. Lil Jon Lil Jon is that dude, but regardless of how much we like Jon, that taco meat that often grows on the side of face has to halter his level of ass attainment. Bizarre Bizarre says shit about fucking his grandmother in the ass. What kind of perverted, slug face looking muthafucka says shit like that? Even the most desperate girl should kill her self if she even considered fucking Bizarre. Remy Martin Remy seems like the type of chick that has to pay for sex from recently released prison inmates. Not that she’s ugly, but she is just so damn manly. She probably likes real soft dudes so she can whoop their ass. Bubba Sparxxx Groupies finally figured out that Bubba Sparxx is not Paul Wall. The surge of slutty sinners he once had is no more, leaving him at home on Friday nights masturbating to his “Ms. New Booty” video. Kaine from the Ying Yang Twins Have you ever seen that movie Leprechaun in the Hood? Kaine strikingly resembles that scary muthafucka and looks like he would frighten the fuck out of a girl in bed. Not only is he way too damn horny, but his music videos look like a scene out of Gremlins 2.
Jay-Z With Beyonce catering to him and Rihanna being unfaithful on his account, Jigga man stays getting a lot of ass. Jay-Z is at the point now where he gets that living legend type sex. It wouldn’t be surprising if Hov hit Danica Patrick after the “Show Me What You Got” video shoot. Lloyd Banks People commonly refer to Lloyd Banks as Blue Heffner. He’s always dressed in blue and according to numerous reports, Banks gets more pus’ than the warden of a female corrections facility. Farnsworth Bentley Despite what some people might say about Mr. Bentley, he’s got to be getting some major smash. The only question is whether he’s the giver or the receiver. T.I. It’s apparent that T.I. loves Tiny, but damn, you know dude is still fucking up storm out here. C’mon, wouldn’t you if you had it like Tip? Pimp C Pimp C was in jail almost four years, but best believe he’s still getting all the ass he can manage. Flavor Flav We all know Flav is deliciously hideous, but regardless, he is garnering more ass than any rapper in the game right now and it’s all because video hoes and aspiring porn stars know that fucking Flav leads to fame. Just look at Hoopz and Deelishis. Too $hort Any ma’fucka with a mind iperverted enough to think of the freaky shit Short Dog says in his rhymes has to be getting a whole lotta ass. His career depends on it.
Any rapper from Houston With the rapidly spreading rumor that an unknown Houston rapper is headed down the “die-slow” path of HIV, any girl ought to be scared to fuck with the H-Town homies.
Non Rappers Who Get A Lotta Ass Honorable Mentions:
Non Rapper Honorable Mentions:
Hoopz Her fifteen minutes was supposed to have already been up a long time ago; she must be fucking a lot of influential people to remain in the spotlight.
Oprah Oprah looks she fondles herself frequently without even realizing it, but don’t think for a second that Stedman is getting any, at least not from Oprah. Bobby Brown If he keeps fucking up, Whitney might never let him get some again. Kevin Federline If K-Fed is fucking he needs to be ashamed of himself. Britney fell off hard and Mr. Spears already has too many damn kids. Condoleezza Rice Condi is the most powerful woman in the world and she supposedly likes to have all the power in bed as well. Problem is, what sane man in his right mind would stick his dick in the devil? Terrell Owens He fell asleep in practice, attempted suicide, and hasn’t done well on the field this season; it sounds like TO is having major girl problems, which means he’s probably ain’t gettin’ no ass. 66
Jim Jones Apparently, girls like mean, dirty niggas who say goofy shit. Not only does Jones have every girl from Harlem to Hollywood obnoxiously screamin, “BAWLLIN’,” but it seems that he has an abundance of women who look at him like he’s the next Denzel.
Barack Obama Nothing attracts pussy like power, and Barack’s got a lot.
Terrence Howard Movie stars always have a lot of sex. T-Howard is now getting that Oscar winning ass and after Beyonce damn near caused him to explode on stage with the lap dance she performed at the BET Awards, Deejay (that’s the name) can’t settle for anything less than top shelf ass. Dr. Phil He’s Oprah with a dick. Desperate housewives all over America would love to get a piece of that bald head lovin’ and Dr. Phil looks like a horny old man who would much oblige. Dwayne Wade We know he seems faithful to his wife, but he won the NBA Finals MVP and he lives in Miami. Need we say more?