10 Freakiest Artists of All-Time by Randy Roper 1) R. Kelly This list wouldn’t be the same without R. Kelly on top. We all know he’s the biggest freak in the game, no matter what he says. He tried giving his life to God and switching to making gospel-like music, but changed his mind faster than Mase, and reverted to his freaky nature. No other artist can take any topic (“You Remind Me of Something”) and turn it into sex (“In the Kitchen,” “Remote Control”) the way Kells can, that alone makes him the Freakiest Artist of All-Time. We didn’t even mention the sex tape. 2) Uncle Luke Luke Campbell is the freak of all freaks. No other artists had as much controversy over sexual lyrics and lewd conduct as Luke and 2 Live Crew. Uncle Luke’s Miami bass sound and booty music was Uncut before BET. Luke is the originator of the video hoe, and his shows aren’t just shows they’re “freak” shows. Anytime Luke is in the building, girls are inclined to be as nasty as they wanna be. It’s been 20 years since the release of 2 Live Crew’s debut album, and Luke can probably still get more ass than today’s chart topping rappers. 3) Too Short Too Short was pimpin’ hoes when most of today’s rappers were shitting their diapers. Short (along with Ice-T) have been credited with bringing pimping into hip-hop culture, and Short is the creator of the hip-hop catchphrase “Bee-yatch.” Short Dog is 16 albums deep into his career, and each album can show you how to be a player better than Bill Bellamy. 4) Lil’ Kim The Notorious K.I.M. by far is the freakiest female rapper of All-Time. From her introduction in the rap game, her femme fatale style took feminism into uncharted waters. In the mid ‘90s, songs like “Crush On You” and Junior Mafia’s “Get Money” made Kim the wet dream of countless male listeners, while paving the way for the female sexism of artists like Trina, Jacki-O, and Khia. She was the baddest chick before Trina, and many men would pay all Kim’s bills for five minutes with her magic clit. But they’d probably end up giving her oral while she watches cartoons. 5) Notorious B.I.G. Despite his unattractive appearance, Big Poppa was a sex symbol, and as freaky as they come. When it came to getting off, Biggie Smalls had no limits. His albums featured skits with talks of “shitting on a bitch” to arouse a partner, and dirty sex talk that should have been filmed and made available on DVD. Songs like “One More Chance” and “Fuck You Tonight” add to the idea that Biggie was a nasty boy. 6) Trina When Trick Daddy said there was “Nann Nigga,” Trina was right there screaming back there’s “nann hoe” like the Diamond Princess. From the outset, we knew a girl that would “fuck bout 5 or 6 best friends” and who was, “quick to deep throat the dick, and let another bitch straight lick the clit,” was destined to take freakiness to another plateau. But what do you expect, she’s from Miami. 7) Foxy Brown When Fox Boogie dropped her first album Ill Na Na in 1996, she took her spot right next to Lil’ Kim. Foxy was as nasty as she wanted to be. The only problem was she was 16, and there’s a slight issue with a young girl so seductive with songs like, “I’ll Be” where Fox spits, “Put me on a bass, and throw your face in it, fucker, Na Na, y’all can’t touch her. My sex drive all night like a trucker.” Little girl, shouldn’t you be in school? 8) Ludacris Anytime an artists’ first hit single is about licking women from their heads to their toes (“What’s Your Fantasy”), you have a freak on your hands. Throughout Luda’s career, his freaky persona Chris Lova Lova has made countless appearances. Whether he’s chasing pros in different “Area Codes,” “Pimpin’ All Over the World,” or making “Splash Waterfalls,” Luda is always ready to blow a back out. Also, hit appearances on freaky classics like Missy’s “One Minute Man,” Chingy’s “Holidae Inn,” and Lil’ Jon’s “Lovers and Friends,” have made Luda the go to guy for a freaky 16 bars. 9) Trick Daddy Trick came up under Luke and gave Trina the platform to flaunt her freaky stuff, that resume alone qualifies Trick Daddy Dollars as an all-time freak. But songs like “Sugar (Gimme Some)” and his new single “I Pop” further cement Trick’s position as Champion King Dingaling. 10) Pimp C 9 times out of 10, if a rapper has “pimp” anywhere in his name, he’s probably a freak. Pimp C is no exception. Pimp C isn’t one for sexual innuendoes, his lyrics are usually straight to the point. Sweet James Jones is one pimp that loves to “see that hairy asshole.”
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