Northeast Ohio Parent - Middle School Guide - October 2023

Smart about Smartphones When is

for your kids?

By Erin Sernoffsky

Cell phones are everywhere, deeply ingrained in every aspect of our lives. As parents rely on them to communicate with schools, coaches and doctors offices, many wonder when the time is right to entrust a phone to their kids, especially as they enter middle school.

Dr. Courtney Batt, is an adolescent medicine specialist at University Hospitals Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital. While she readily acknowledges cell phones are now a fact of life, she is very clear about their significant drawbacks.

She points to social media as being particularly harmful for mental health with significant negative impacts on self-esteem and body image.

“Excessive cell phone use has been tied to negative mental health outcomes such as sleep disturbance, especially when phones are used before bedtime, and depressive symptoms as well as feelings of insecurity and impaired relationships with parents and at school,” Batt says. “In addition, other mental health problems like anxiety, hyperactivity and conduct problems have been linked to excessive cell phone use.”

But is it healthy to give kids access to a phone too early? And how can parents work with their children to stay safe emotionally, mentally and physically?

Make the Choice that Fits Best

Batt points out that there is no one-size -fits-all solution. Understanding your child, the risks and benefits of their specific situation and personality are all important to consider in decision-making.

She suggests parents look into smartphone alternatives such as basic flip phones or watches with restricted calling capabilities. Daysha L. of North Canton decided to purchase a Gizmo watch with her 11-year-old son, Maxwell, which allows him to communicate directly with them.

“He can have a limited number of approved contacts,” she says. ”He can also contact us using the Google Home Hub while his watch is charging.”

Daysha and her husband are confident in their choice, partially because Maxwell is neurodivergent and may lose a phone or become too immersed in it.

Having a reliable means to get in touch

with your kids, especially amidst the constantly shifting sands of after school activities, not only makes life easier, but safer. These were all contributing factors for mom Bernadette Hartman of Cuyahoga Falls, who purchased phones for her son and daughter when they were in fifth and fourth grades.

“The most important reason I bought them phones at that age was for their safety and my peace of mind,” she says. “The fact that I have shared custody meant sometimes we parents got confused on who was picking up who, so my kids were able to call me if they were getting a ride, or needed a ride —it was the easiest way to communicate with them, especially if there was an issue.”

Hartman did set limits. She had restrictions on apps such as YouTube, and linked the phones to her Google account so she was able to approve any download. She also had GPS location turned on so she could be sure where her kids were.

“I recommend the kids have at least a phone that they can call you on,” she advises. “Even if they have no data, at least they can call in case of

it safe to buy a phone

emergency.”

Phones and Boundaries for Kids

These sorts of rules and expectations at home are critical, no matter what age a family decides to trust their children with their own phones. According to Batt, limiting time spent on phones, monitoring content, setting clear family expectations are all important tools in keeping kids safe and healthy.

She recommends rules such as no cell phones before bed or charging in bedrooms, no phones during meals or other activities, and setting time limits throughout the day. A key component to this is making sure that as parents you are prepared to uphold the same rules and boundaries you set for your kids.

With parents drowning in a sea of apps, games, and trends, it often makes it nearly impossible for even the most careful parents to stay ahead of the game. Fortunately, there are resources to help.

Common Sense Media provides parents reviews on games, apps, TV, movies, and more helping families make more informed decisions (commonsensemedia.com).There are also games like spotthetroll.com, and getbadnews.

com which help kids become more aware consumers of online content.

Also, parents should familiarize themselves with all parental controls available to them through the phone or specific apps, and be aware of their uses and their limitations.

While kids may want their phones to connect to their friends and peers, Akron Public Schools have found more real connection happened when they placed significant limits on phones on school campuses.

Kim Sabetta, campus principal at Ellet Community Learning Center, was part of a pilot program which utilized Yondr pouches, individual bags that lock students’ phones away throughout the school day. Starting in March of 2023 Sabetta recalls it took approximately two weeks for students to become accustomed to the new rules, and the positive effects to hold.

“We noticed immediately the increased social interaction that was taking place at lunch and the halls for students,” Sabetta says. “Teachers overwhelmingly identified that the implementation of the Yondr pouch has reduced student distractions resulting in increased student learning opportunities.”

According to Sabetta, implementation was not hard, however she notes that adults needed to be mindful of the anxiety children felt at not having their phones, and they had to work to reassure students and parents it was not a punishment, but rather a way to encourage better interaction between students as well as attention and participation in the classroom.

The program was so successful at addressing student connection, behavior and learning that the district decided to expand to 13 additional schools.

At the end of the day, phones aren’t going away, but making sure your family is ready to collaborate on owning one safely is the top priority.

“We have to recognize that in today’s society it’s challenging to function without a mobile device,” Batt says. “Cell phones are one important way that our kids stay connected to their peers, and we acknowledge that these peer relationships are important for growth and development. The real challenge becomes balancing the necessary use of cell devices for daily activities with excessive use.”

PARENTAL CONTROLS HELP

Parental control apps can be a great tool to help parents monitor everything from screen time, to online bullying, to inappropriate content. Here are five great options to help keep your kids safe, all available on iOS and Android devices.

AURA

Monitor bullying on online games, limit access to certain apps, set screen time limits, even pause the internet on certain connected devices.

FAMILYKEEPER

FamilyKeeper provides parents with an at-a-glance screen time report and easily helps parents set time limits for certain apps. It also provides location tracking ability as well as sends alerts for concerning social media activity as well as customizable safe browsing settings.

LIFE360

Life360 is a geo-tracking app that lets parents know the location of all family members. This app is especially great for parents of older kids, or for working parents who want to make sure their kids make it home from school safely.

CANOPY

Canopy is a great option for families with younger kids who are not yet texting and calling, but parents do want to protect them against explicit content, inappropriate apps, and even protecting privacy by limiting kids’ abilities to share photos of themselves.

QUSTODIO

With various subscription levels, Qustodio offers different levels of oversight based on your family’s needs including game and app blocking, safe search and web filtering, activity reports, time limits, calls and message monitoring, and restricted times, particularly helpful near bedtime.

Helping children behavior of

change the BULLYING

By Rachel Abbey McCafferty

In 2021, almost 44% of Ohio middle school students said they had been bullied on school grounds at some point in their lives; about 30% said they had been bullied electronically.

That’s according to data from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey for the state. The goal of the survey is to track those behaviors in order to reduce and prevent them, says Kristina N. Knight, associate director of the master of public health program at Case Western Reserve University, which administers the survey in Cuyahoga County. Adolescence is both a “pivotal” and “transitional” time, Knight says, one in which habits and life skills are formed.

With October being National Bullying Prevention Month and Ohio School Safety Month, it’s a good time for parents to think about what strategies they can discuss with their child when bullying arises.

“Unfortunately, like most things, and especially with safety, there’s no onesize-fits-all solution to bullying,” says Emily Torok, executive director of the Ohio School Safety Center.

It’s up to schools to assess situations and identify possible solutions. Schools in Ohio are required to have anonymous reporting options, Torok says, which gives students a safe way to alert adults about bullying incidents.

It’s important to teach appropriate behavior, just like we teach academics,” says Patti Fetzer, director of whole child supports at the Stark County Educational Service Center. “And to keep in mind that some students will need additional support in learning that, whether they are being bullied or engaging in bullying behaviors.”

What to do when your child talks to you

If a child talks to a parent about being bullied, it’s important to reassure the child that it isn’t their fault, Torok says. And, to validate that however

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they’re feeling is OK. Parents should consider encouraging their child to talk to a mental health professional, like a counselor.

“Even if you don’t necessarily think your child needs it, it’s always going to be good to have someone else to talk to,” Torok says.

Julie Hertzog, director of PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center in Minneapolis, says removing the “stigma” of bullying so children feel comfortable talking to an adult is important, as, oftentimes, bullying behavior takes place away from adults. And that goes for the child experiencing the bullying behavior and those witnessing it. The messages that someone witnessing bullying should keep it to themselves, or not tattle, are in the past.

If a child sees another child being bullied, they can take a number of steps to help, Hertzog says. If they feel safe in the situation, they can try to remove their peer from the bullying, asking them to sit or play with them instead. If they don’t feel safe, they can approach the child after and let them know that they didn’t deserve the behavior, and encourage them to talk to an adult. For students who witness cyberbullying, they too can support the victim by telling a trusted adult, commenting something positive to counteract the bullying or sending the student being targeted a message of support privately. Small actions can make a big difference.

“So much about being bullied is also starting to feel isolated and feeling alone, feeling like you deserve this, especially when no one else is telling you anything different,” Hertzog says.

When bullying goes virtual

The basics for supporting students experiencing cyberbullying are the same as in-person: make sure children know it isn’t their fault, and that they can and should tell a trusted adult about it.

Additional tips for parents

Adults should be thinking not only about talking to children about bullying, but about how they talk about others –—people who may be different than them, or with whom they disagree, says Fetzer. That goes for in-person and online conversations. It’s critical to be a role model.

In the case of bullying, parents and guardians should work with their child’s school‚ not the other child’s parent —to find a solution. Trying to work directly with another parent can backfire, as it might escalate the issue, explains Torok.

PACER has some further tips unique to cyberbullying on its website, pacer.org. A big one is that students should keep documentation of the bullying behavior. They can share screenshots or texts with a parent or other adult, who can keep the evidence if the student wants to remove it from their devices or accounts. Families can also contact social media sites for advice on addressing cyberbullying on their individual platforms.

And, in general, parents can start talking to children about these intervening behaviors early, encouraging them to find ways to include students who are somehow excluded. Talking about differences is also important, particularly in the middle school years when fitting in is a big focus.

If a parent finds out their child is doing the bullying, holding them accountable —so they can change their behavior— is important, Hertzog says. Some children may not realize that they are hurting others with their words or actions, so education is the first step. And helping children develop empathy and see the behavior from the victim’s point of view is critical, too.

“We say that bullying is about behavior, and behavior can be changed,” Hertzog says.

“Even if you don’t necessarily think your child needs it, it’s always going to be good to have someone else to talk to,” Torok says.

Days are busy with schoolwork, after school activities and family responsibilities. It can feel complicated and overwhelming at times, especially as you and your middle schooler navigate these years. You might be asking yourself how can you simplify and support your tween’s development.

Elisa “E” Hennies, youth development

Navigating Your Tween’s Independence

director at the Lake County YMCA. “E” as she is known, has been working with youth for 25 years shares its importance to foster self-sufficiency in our children.

“Independence is an essential part of a youth’s journey,” she says. “While developing the skills to gain independence, that inherently engages them in self-discovery. Youth discover what values they are pas-

By Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

sionate about, as well as what they value most in life. In addition to self-discovery, growth in independence also helps grow confidence. That self-confidence goes hand in hand with their self-discovery. Having that confidence to be their unique selves is key.”

Here are some practical tips to help your tween build skills towards indepen-

How to help your child to become more self-sufficient in school, activities or at home.

dence.

What advice do you have for parents in terms of their role in helping their child make their own decisions and take primary care for areas of their lives (i.e., schoolwork, communicating with a coach, etc.)?”

Hennies: “Respect your child and see them as competent individuals to build their confidence and that their words and feelings matter. Validating showing empathy for their feelings is important. Preteens and teens are going through a roller coaster of emotions during that time, and they are just looking for a safe person that will listen to and support them. Being a good listener and guiding your child (allowing them to talk through it by utilizing open ended questions) rather than deciding for them or telling them their decision is inadequate is also key.”

“Finally, establishing boundaries and consistency is a great lesson and guide for growth of these skills. While they do not know it, youth crave boundaries/ structure/routine, etc. Will they push

those boundaries? Of course! Didn’t you?

As a parent, by setting those boundaries and being clear and consistent with your expectations, your child will start to gain their own internal discipline, respect, and responsibility, as well as guide them back to those values that are important to them.”

Where should parents start?

Hennies: “Talk things out with your child. Coach them through their decisions or conflicts, allowing them to figure it out for themselves, but with your support and guidance.”

She suggests the following::

• Be a good listener, keep open dialogue and let the “feels” flow.

• Show love and support in all situations.

• Remember, respect is a two-way street.

• Set clear and consistent boundaries and expectations.

How can parents provide your child with space and opportunities to gain experience in being self-sufficient?

Hennies: “Help your child get organized. Think about what makes your child tick and will engage them in getting organized: a wipe board? A notebook? An app? Encourage your child to make a list of upcoming tasks and activities. Map out each day and items due and activities. This can include school work as well as extracurricular activities, as well as family and friend fun. Under each activity, encourage your child to note needed items. These can include items like books or sports equipment.

With each opportunity for self-reliance, have a quick check in and ensure your child understands and can break down their responsibilities into bite sized bits. What do they need to do? Prepare something? Communicate something?

As much as possible, establish daily routines that build in opportunities for

independence. These can be anything from setting their alarm clock, preparing their lunch, to ensuring they have everything they need in their backpack for school the next day.

Continue to monitor, check-in and coach and help your child learn from both their successes and failures. If they forget something, do not panic. Be calm, supportive and provide the opportunity for them to make things right and learn from their oversight.”

Every parent wants to see their child successful, in whatever success looks like for them, so helping them grow with little snippets of independence along the way will lay that foundation,” Hennies says. “Opportunities for independence will help the youth grow in skills such as responsibility, decision making, problem solving, resilience,

Jeannie Fleming-Gifford has an MA in family and consumer sciences with a specialization in child development and is the VP of Programming at Lakeside Chautauqua. Her passions include outdoor adventures, writing, animals, and coffee!

Sunday, October 8 at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, Stillwater Place from 11 - 2

With dozens of schools, education-related businesses, after-school and other enrichment programs all under one roof, attendees will have the opportunity to discover a variety of options for their children’s educational and enrichment needs.

Silver Sponsors: Accel Schools, Creative Playrooms, Girl Scouts of Northeast Ohio, Hawken School, Incarnate Word Academy, Lake Ridge Academy, Northeast Ohio Classical Academy, University School

Bronze Sponsors: St. Ignatius and The Lillian and Betty Ratner Montessori School

Scan for more information and to register now:

MIDDLE SCHOOL GUIDE LISTINGS

CLEVELAND MONTESSORI

Cleveland Montessori has been serving the Little Italy and Greater Cleveland community for over 25 years, providing an education for life, which celebrates diversity, growth and joy. Students from preschool through eighth grade are met with respect and compassion as they strive to meet their individual potential in beautifully prepared classrooms that offer social, emotional and academic experiences in a unique urban setting. Apply now for 2023-24. 216-421-0700, info@clevelandmontessori.org, clevelandmontessori.org

GILMOUR ACADEMY

After beginning their personalized academic journey at Gilmour’s Lower School, students transition seamlessly to the Middle School. There, our seventh and eighth graders are afforded every opportunity to explore new passions and develop their talents in a highly individualized learning environment. They are able to take advanced courses at the Upper School and join their Upper School peers in a variety of club offerings, making for a smooth transition into high school. gilmour.org

HATHAWAY BROWN

For nearly 150 years, Hathaway Brown School has educated and empowered girls. The K-12 day school in Shaker Heights is regionally and nationally recognized as a top girls’ school for their Learn for Life Signature Approach. Their model for education integrates distinguished academics, empowered girls, knowledge in action, and a celebrated community of students, alums, and faculty and parents. Learn more at HB.edu/edu

HAWKEN MIDDLE SCHOOL

Hawken’s Middle School program focuses on building strong academic skills while placing an increasing emphasis on personal responsibility. They partner with parents to ensure that students receive the optimal balance of structure, freedom, nurture, and support that will enable them to successfully navigate this exciting and challenging transition into adolescence. With an emphasis on hands-on learning, interdisciplinary approaches, and student choice, students become active participants in their education as they immerse themselves in the process of learning and discovery. Establishing a solid academic foundation is essential to your child’s intellectual development. They emphasize adaptability and creativity in their approaches to instill excitement and enthusiasm for learning and to build your child’s confidence and problem-solving ability. hawken.edu

HERSHEY MONTESSORI SCHOOL

Hershey Montessori Middle School provides the ideal setting for students to expand their knowledge and embark on adult-like responsibilities, resulting in a solid, unique foundation for young adulthood. Their adolescent program embraces social-emotional learning and diversity within our community and is tailored to individual developmental needs. Integrated studies lead to sophisticated problem-solving and contributions to their school community. Students thrive as they learn and work together on the 97-acre campus. Visit them to learn more. hershey-montessori.org

JULIE BILLIART SCHOOLS

Julie Billiart Schools, a private, Catholic network of kindergarten through eighth grade schools in Akron, Brecksville, Lyndhurst, and Westlake, educate and empower children with mild to moderate autism, ADD/ ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning and social differences. JB celebrates potential, nurtures curiosity, and customizes teaching to their students’ unique learning styles. Students are surrounded by strategically designed classrooms, small student-to-teacher ratios, onsite therapies, and state-of-the-art technology. JB students are supported by onsite therapists and certified intervention specialists. juliebilliartschools.org

LAKE RIDGE ACADEMY

Lake Ridge Academy is an independent kindergarten through grade 12 college preparatory school. Strong academic programs, engaging faculty, and an 8:1 student-to-teacher ratio creates an educational environment that fuels a student’s passion for learning. Lower School students learn to think critically through a rich, hands-on curriculum that connects them to the natural world. Special emphasis is placed on social-emotional learning and cultural appreciation through world language classes. Their fall K-12 preview day will be Mon. Oct. 23. Register online lakeridgeacademy.org

MENLO PARK ACADEMY

Menlo Park Academy is the state’s only tuition-free school for gifted children in kindergarten through eighth grade. The school offers an innovative, accelerated curriculum, including nine high-schoolcredit classes, the opportunity to learn alongside like-minded peers, and a faculty dedicated to meeting the unique needs of gifted children. Students can explore their passions, build friendships, and find belonging as well as academic and social emotional success. Menlo Park Academy is the #1 charter elementary, #1 charter middle school, ranked #13 of all kindergarten through fifth grade Ohio public schools (niche.com).menloparkacademy.com

RUFFING MONTESSORI SCHOOL

Ruffing Montessori School in Cleveland Heights is more than just a school for children ages 18 months through eighth grade. It is a beloved community where children are guided by experienced Montessori-trained teachers and immersed in a rigorous curriculum. Explore their beautiful classrooms and see why Ruffing is the compelling school of choice for so many at the Admissions Open House on Nov. 11 from noon-2 p.m. Register at ruffingmontessori. net or call 216-321-7571

MIDDLE SCHOOL GUIDE LISTINGS

ST. HILARY SCHOOL

The Future Begins Here. St. Hilary School in Fairlawn serves students in grades K-8 in a faith-based environment with a curriculum that challenges and accommodates diverse learning abilities. The average student-teacher ratio is 19:1. Special offerings include Spanish, French, Chinese, religion, art, music, physical education, technology, advanced math, and enrichment opportunities. Many extracurricular activities, as well as auxiliary, remedial, clinic, lunch, and extended care services, are available. 645 Moorfield Road, Fairlawn, 330-867-8720, ext. 343, st-hilaryschool.org

ST. PAUL WESTLAKE

St. Paul Westlake Church and School offers traditional and contemporary worship. They are nationally accredited and offer an outstanding Christian education for students starting at age 3 to eighth grade. Tuition aid is now available to all families (K-8) thanks to Ohio’s EdChoice Expansion Scholarships Program, and nearly every family qualifies. In addition, Preschool and Pre-K can apply for the LSGOO. Join the Tiger Family. stpaulwestlake.school

ST. SEBASTIAN PARISH SCHOOL

St. Sebastian Parish School was recently named a 2023 National Blue Ribbon School by the U.S. Department of Education, joining select high-performing schools across the country that are being recognized for exemplary teaching and learning. Every year since 1982, the National Blue Ribbon Schools Program has honored public and private elementary, middle, and high schools for overall academic excellence or progress in closing achievement gaps among student subgroups. stsebastian.org

Middle School Book Shelf

By Shana O’Malley-Smith

Middle school is an important stage in a young person’s education and personal development, and reading books during these formative years plays an essential role in shaping their perspectives, expanding their knowledge, and fostering a lifelong love for literature. Here are a few book picks to encourage the exploration of diverse genres, characters, and themes.

THE AREA 51 FILES

By Julie Buxbaum

Aliens, sassy hedgehogs, and unexplained disappearances . . . Oh, my! Discover the secrets of the universe in this hilarious, highly illustrated middle-grade series.

THE GIVER

by Lois Lowry

In this Newbery Medal–winning classic, twelve-yearold Jonas lives in a seemingly ideal world. Not until he is given his life assignment as the Receiver does he begin to understand the dark secrets behind his fragile community.

EVERY SOUL A STAR

By Wendy Mass

At Moon Shadow, an isolated campground, thousands have gathered to catch a glimpse of a rare and extraordinary total eclipse of the sun. Told from three distinct voices and perspectives, the author weaves an intricate and compelling story about strangers coming together, unlikely friendships, and finding one’s place in the universe.

ENEMIES IN THE ORCHARD: A WORLD WAR 2 NOVEL IN VERSE

By Dana VanderLugt

Set against the backdrop of WWII, this achingly beautiful middle grade novel in verse based on American history presents the dual perspectives of Claire, a Midwestern girl who longs for college even as she worries for her soldier brother, and Karl, a German POW who’s processing the war as he works on Claire’s family farm. This poignant and moving story of an unlikely connection will stay with readers long after the final page.

ALEX WISE VS. THE END OF THE WORLD

By Terry J. Benton-Walker

One 12-year-old boy leads the charge against the forces of evil as he tries to stop the Four Horsemen from taking over the world in the start to a wildly funny and addictive fantasy series about accepting yourself and finding your inner hero.

WHEN YOU REACH ME

By Rebecca Stead

Shortly after a fall-out with her best friend, sixth grader Miranda starts receiving mysterious notes, and she doesn’t know what to do. The notes tell her that she must write a letter—a true story, and that she can’t share her mission with anyone. It would be easy to ignore the strange messages, except that whoever is leaving them has an uncanny ability to predict the future.