New Jersey Family: October 2021 Issue by New Jersey Family

CARING FOR YOUR AGING PARENTS OCTOBER 2021 | NJFAMILY.COM |

NJ MOMS ON HOW THEY MANAGE THE CHALLENGES

PRIVATE SCHOOL

SNAPSHOTS

raising teens special section

HOW TO HAVE THE ALCOHOL TALK INSPIRE THEM TO VOLUNTEER

IS HERE! SPOOKY ATTRACTIONS

FALL FARM FUN

EPIC PUMPKINS

Know a Great Attorney? From estate planning to family law to real estate, let us know who’s made a difference in your life. Here’s what other NJ parents have said about their lawyers:

njfamily.com/lawyers

GO TO njfamily.com/lawyers TO NOMINATE AN EXCEPTIONAL LAWYER.

Mariann Crincoli

Eric Goldberg

Special Needs • Cranbury, Red Bank

Elder Law • Roseland

She helped us get both of our children with special needs into out-of-district schools. We could never have done it without her help.

Eric is a very caring person and advocates for the elderly. He is there for the whole family to ensure that not only the parents are well informed and have their legal documents prepared but also the children are positioned to have their legal documents done. He is an exceptional communicator.

—E.H., FAIR LAWN

Melissa Cipriano

—T.B., FLEMINGTON

Family Law • West Caldwell Melissa is a quick responder, a relentless advocate, puts kids first and is so experienced and hands-on. She is amazingly professional with amazing results. I wish I had hired her from the beginning of my divorce process! —L.A., LEONIA

Jeremy L. Hylton Personal Injury • Roseland Jeremy really went above and beyond for my daughter when she got hurt in a car accident. If it wasn’t for him and all his help I would have been lost! Highly recommend. —N.A., BOONTON

Karina Lucid Bankruptcy • Liberty Corner She is my lawyer for my case of bankruptcy and she helped me to keep my house for my family. She is the best lawyer I have ever had. —N.R., PATERSON

Glenn Praschil Estate Planning • Wayne Glenn helped us with our living trust for our children so that we feel safe and secure no matter what happens. We felt supported and that he really cared. —B.A., BELLEVILLE

WE’LL SPREAD THE WORD IN OUR BEST LAWYERS FOR FAMILIES ISSUE IN APRIL.

(Deadline: Nov. 30)

Math every day, World Language every day, and a partnership with Columbia University’s Teachers College. Welcome to our Pre-K. The influence that our Pre-K program has on our youngest students can be seen every day. We nurture their natural curiosity, challenge them, and celebrate their efforts. Each day is dedicated to creative expression, developing social and emotional skills, and teaching them to think like mathematicians, readers, and writers. Supported by a community that inspires their academic growth, our students develop a love for learning that leaves them more than ready for Kindergarten.

For more information about our upcoming fall events contact us at admissions@mka.org

MKA.ORG | 973.509.7930

An Inconceivable Evening with Cary Elwes Fri, Dec 3 @ 7:30PM Actor Cary Elwes hosts a screening of The Princess Bride followed by a moderated Q&A.

the nutcracker State Ballet Theatre of Ukraine Sat, Dec 11 @ 3PM A magical classic for all ages! Whether you’re a kid or a kid at heart, The Nutcracker will fill you with holiday spirit.

the hip hop nutcracker

oct 30

with guest MC Kurtis Blow Sat, Dec 18 @ 2 & 8PM NJPAC’s original holiday mashup remixes Tchaikovsky’s ballet with supercharged hip hop dance (and some surprises!).

WIZARDING WORLD and all related trademarks, characters, names, and indicia are © & ™ Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. Publishing Rights © JKR. (s21)

saturday performing arts programs neil degrasse tyson Dec 31 & Jan 2 @ 10AM & 2PM Do not miss this opportunity to see the whole pack as they set sail in a pirate-themed live touring stage performance.

The Inexplicable Universe: Unsolved Mysteries Wed, Dec 1 @ 7:30PM Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson unravels more mysteries of the universe in this cosmically entertaining evening.

In-person and virtual performing arts programs for students age 9 – 18 are back at NJPAC! Classes in band, hip hop, jazz and theater start at $50! Sign up today! njpac.org/students Enhance your family’s experience with a membership • Pre-sales and ticket discounts • Special event invitations • Discounts on Arts Education programs • Parking Get started at njpac.org/membership

@NJPAC • 1.888.MY.NJPAC • njpac.org • Groups of 9 or more call 973.353.7561 • One Center Street, Newark, NJ

Contents

Stuff We Love

Feature

CAMERA READY A picture-perfect backdrop for all your Halloween photos

Healthy + Happy

15 HAUNTED HALLOWEEN

The best spots for scary (and not-so-scary) fun this month

SUGAR RUSH Yes, you can avoid candy overload with these smart tips.

FALL BACK How to prep the kids for Daylight Savings Time exhaustion.

Feature

IN THE MIDDLE 21 STUCK How sandwich generation parents navigate juggling caring for their kids and elderly parents.

Special Section

FOR AGING PARENTS 25 CARING These NJ facilities offer vibrant opportunities for your parents.

Feature

PRIVATE SCHOOL PREVIEWS Explore independent schools in and around NJ.

Feature

THERE’S A WILL 29 WHERE Your whole family can benefit when you have one prepped.

Raising Teens

Me Time

REDUCING YOUR BREAST CANCER RISK What else you can do besides getting a mammogram

On The Cover

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / ISMAGILOV

October Planner

FALL FUN Corn mazes, pumpkin picking, festivals and more kidfriendly events await you and your crew!

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

VS. CONTACTS 34 GLASSES Is now the time to swap their glasses for contacts? Here’s how to decide BACK 37 GIVING Teach your teens the importance of volunteering. DRINKING 39 TEEN What you need to know about underage drinking, especially when it happens in your house 18 43 TURNING How to protect your kids once they officially become adults

Editor’s Letter

OCTOBER 2021 | NJFAMILY.COM VOLUME 31, ISSUE 5

PRODUCTION DESIGNER ROSA M. JOSEPH PRODUCTION/BUSINESS MANAGER ERICA BARTON

Here’s a Halloween throwback of my kids as Belle from Beauty and the Beast and a knight in shining armor.

Juggling it All Managing kids, school, activities and the pressure our children face in the era of social media with work and home demands can be exhausting. Add caring for aging parents to the mix and it’s even more challenging. Demographers call this group of parents sandwiched between raising kids and helping to care for their aging parents the sandwich generation. One of the best things you can do during this stage of parenting is lean on others for help and support. In this issue, we share advice on how to manage the stress of caregiving across generations. We also look at senior living options and share snapshots of some of the state’s most impressive communities. If you’re in the sandwich generation, you’re likely also raising a teenager and dealing with the slippery slope of teen hormones (and eye rolls) but also the sweetness and pride of seeing your babies mature into kind, empathetic young adults. In our special section on parenting teens, we outline how to have the alcohol talk, how to inspire your teens to give back to their communities and some eye-opening things you need to know once they turn 18. On a lighter note, let’s not forget the fun that comes with this time of year, from pumpkin spice and apple picking to all things Halloween. Turn to page 15 for our guide to the state’s best attractions—from the not-so-scary to the downright terrifying (Hello Farm of Horrors!). We’ve also rounded up our favorite festivals and events to take the kids on page 58. And don’t forget to visit njfamily.com for more fall fun near you.

PROJECT & CIRCULATION MANAGER DIANE ERDENBERGER

DIRECTOR OF ADVERTISING MARCY HOLETON ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES ANN CUSACK RANDI EPSTEIN CATHY GROTE DEBBIE LUBRANSKI BARBARA NASTRO PAMELA PETERSON ERIN SALMAN ANDREA THORNE

The acceptance of advertising by New Jersey Family does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services, or information being advertised. We do not knowingly present any products or services that are fraudulent or misleading in nature. Editorial inquiries, calendar information, ad vertising rates and schedules, and subscrip tion requests may be addressed to Kids Monthly Publications, Inc., P.O. Box 669, New Providence, NJ 07974-0669. New Jersey Family can be reached by calling 908-9751800, emailing editor@njfamily.com, or by visiting our website, njfamily.com. New Jersey Family is a woman-owned business and has been recognized for editorial and design excellence by the Parenting Media Association.

New Jersey Family is published by Kids Monthly Publications, Inc., P.O. Box 669, New Providence, NJ 07974-0669. Send address changes to us here. Reproduction of New Jersey Family in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. All rights reserved. Copyright 2021 by Kids Monthly Publications, Inc. Circulation audit by CVC, Circulation Verification Council.

/NEWJERSEYFAMILY @NJFAMILYMAG @NEWJERSEYFAMILY

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

sojospaclub.com 833 SOJO SPA

RETHINK S W E AT E R W E AT H E R

COVID-19 POLICY Starting October 1, guests must provide proof of full vaccination or present a negative test result taken within 72 hours of their visit. Visit our website for more details.

Stuff We Love

Step up your Halloween game this year with a BOO-tiful DIY photo wall. You’ll need tissue paper, streamers, card stock, cupcake cases, tape and scissors—no glue required! Go to njfamily.com/halloweenbackdrop for a step-by-step how-to guide.

Live. Laugh. Smile.

State-of-the-ar t or thodontics in a caring and comfor table environment

Barbara A. Fodero, DDS, MS SPECIALIST IN ORTHODONTICS FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS 33 Main Street, Suite 104, Chatham • Permit #5268

973.701.2200 • chathambraces.com

Creating Beautiful Smiles Since 1983 ■ Specializing in orthodontics for adults and children ■ Consultations are always complimentary ■ Flexible financing options available

Voted Top Dentist by NJ Monthly and New Jersey Family’s Favorite Kids’ Docs™

■ Most insurances are accommodated

Stanley Gersch, dmd, pa Scott D. Gersch, dmd Ilona Rossignol, dmd

Evening & Sat urd ay Hours

Voted NJ Top Orthodontist by NJ Monthly & New Jersey Family’s Favorite Kids’ Docs™

Diplomate, American Board of Orthodontics Director of Invisalign, NYU College of Dentistry Invisalign ELITE Top 1% Provider for Teens and Adults! Complimentary Evaluation

401 North Wood Avenue, Linden (Across from Post Office)

Howard B. Bobrow, DMD, PA NJ Specialty #3831

18 Madison Ave., Madison • 973-377-6879 35 West Main St. #207, Denville • 973-627-5902

www.GerschOrtho.com • 908-233-8668 547 East Broad Street, Westfield (Across from Library)

NJ Monthly Top Orthodontist

118 North Avenue West, Cranford (Across from Rustic Mill Diner)

bobroworthodontics.com

Color profile: _DEFAULT.CCM - Generic Profile Composite Default screen

Westfield Pediatric Dental Group 555 Westfield Avenue • Westfield • NJ • 07090

CEL

RATI N

50lthy Smiles

Hea ing eat r C

TIPS TO KEEP TEETH HEALTHY:

• Brush twice a day • Floss once a day • Use a fluoride rinse daily at nighttime • Eat healthy snacks with low-to-no sugar in the ingredients

New Jersey Family’s Favorite Kids’ Docs 2009–2020

Named 2009–2020 Top Dentist by NJ Monthly Magazine

TIMOTHY P. McCABE, D.M.D., Board Certified JULIE JONG, D.M.D., Board Certified

KELLY WALK, D.D.S., Board Certified

JOHN CHANG, D.D.S., Board Certified

555 Westfield Avenue, Westfield, NJ 07090 • kidsandsmiles.com • 908-232-1231 Z:...\WPDG #10 V7.cdr Wednesday, December 19, 2012 5:21:50 PM

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

For some injuries, healing takes more than a bandage and a hug. For children who have suffered major or multiple complicated traumas, the path to recovery requires an advanced level of care. We work with each child and their family to tailor a plan addressing their medical needs, emotional health and long-term wellbeing. As New Jersey’s only pediatric rehabilitation hospital, we provide a full range of rehabilitative services and therapies, as well as support for families and caregivers to ensure a seamless return home. Learn more at rwjbh.org/childrensspecialized.

G e Ö

— SOURCES: AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION AND THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRIC DENTISTRY

Healthy + Happy

Halloween A CAVITY-FREE

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / BORTONIA

HALLOWEEN MEANS CANDY—AND LOTS OF IT! HERE’S HOW TO KEEP YOUR KIDS (OR YOURSELF!) FROM OVERLOADING ON SUGAR. SNACK SENSIBLY Munching on candy all day keeps sugar on your teeth all day. Let kids eat sweet treats with meals or right after meals, when saliva production increases, which helps rinse away food particles. Kids should brush within 30 minutes of snacking or at least rinse with water so sugar isn’t coating their teeth.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

SKIP HARD OR STICKY CANDIES Hard candies, caramel, taffy and gummy bears are some of the absolute worst for teeth. Unless it’s sugar-free, anything that’s in contact with teeth for a long time or that sticks to teeth gives cavity-causing bacteria more time to work.

CONSIDER GIVING OUT OTHER TREATS If you’re handing out treats, go for kid-friendly goodies such as sugar-free gum made with xylitol, which promotes the growth of tooth protective bacteria. Or try other food treats such as pretzels or small toys (make sure they’re not choking hazards) like bouncy balls, glow sticks and stickers for trick-or-treating fun minus the sugar.

LET THEM EAT CHOCOLATE Let kids indulge sensibly. Surprisingly, chocolate is a good option because it washes off teeth more easily than other kinds of candy.

By Arricca Elin SanSone

STAY ON TRACK WITH CHECKUPS If your child has missed a regular checkup this year, get back on track and schedule one right away. And, of course, make sure kids brush at least twice a day and floss daily.

Healthy + Happy

Help Kids Adjust to Daylight Savings Time ESTABLISH A BEDTIME ROUTINE

Get everyone in the habit of winding down for the day with simple steps such as listening to music or stories, and shutting down screens including TVs, computers and smartphones an hour before bedtime (we know it’s hard to enforce but stay strong). These devices disrupt sleep regulating hormones, making it harder to fall asleep.

CREATE A RESTFUL SLEEP ENVIRONMENT

Keep phone charging stations out of your kids’ bedrooms so

there’s no temptation or blinking light to interfere with sleep. Bedrooms should be cool, dark and quiet. If necessary, use a white noise machine to drown out any street or household noise.

ADJUST BEDTIMES GRADUALLY

Beginning a few days before the scheduled time change, shift your child’s bedtime 15 or 20 minutes later each day. And though it’s tempting—especially if you have teenagers—don’t let your kid sleep in on weekends more than an hour past their usual wakeup time, which also can shift your child’s sleep-wake cycle.

GET OUTDOORS

Light drives our circadian rhythms, so get outside with your kids on the days after the time change to help your internal clocks adjust to the new timing of light and dark. A brisk walk, a few minutes of play, or even sitting by a bright window in the morning can help everyone’s sleep cycle get back on track.

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / GLOBALMOMENTS

o, it’s not all in your imagination. That hour we “spring ahead” in spring or “fall back” in autumn does impact your kids’ (and your own) sleep rhythms. It may be just one hour, but the effects on sleep-wake patterns may last five to seven days, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Here’s what you can do to help everyone ease into the time change:

By Arricca Elin SanSone

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

Gallery of little SmileS

See how cool 20/20 can look.

Specialized Dental Care For Children and Adolescents

rockaway orthodontics

“Best PEDIATRIC DENTIST Around” - Gina F.

“where great smiles begin”

Morris County’s largest selection of fashion frames for kids

Dennis W. Lam, DDS, MS, FRCD(C)

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Diplomate, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

Jeannette G. Glass, DMD, MS Cosmetic Dentistry

A Division of

Call today to schedule an eye exam!

www.GalleryofLittleSmiles.com • (973) 295-6700 220 Ridgedale Avenue, Suite B1 • Florham Park, NJ 07932

jcreiss.com

25 South Street, Morristown, NJ • 973-538-5287

rockaway orthodontics “where great smiles begin”

GET YOUR BEST SMILE EVER IN UP TO 35% LESS TIME

It is our mission to provide the highest quality orthodontic treatment in a warm, nurturing environment. We strive to create beautiful smiles through individualized treatment, in which our patient’s comfort is our highest priority.

It is orthodontics with a mom’s touch!

Unmatched Expertise. Unrivaled Technology. Unprecedented Service. Diamond Plus Invisalign Provider | NJ Top Doc 2009-2021 New Jersey Family’s Favorite Kids’ Docs™ 2009-2020 | Best of Essex/Morris Magazine

• Complimentary Consultation • Most Insurances Accepted • No Down Payment and Interest Free Financing • Oral B Power Brush with Braces (optional)

Every smile is backed by our 100% CAGGIANO SMILE WARRANTY Dr. David Caggiano

973.887.8780

272 Parsippany Road, Parsippany Most Insurance Plans Accepted

MorrisCountyBraces.com

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

Author of “A PARENT’S GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING ORTHODONTICS”

Melissa Roberto, DMD (NJ Specialty #5529) 141 US Hwy 46 West #101, Rockaway 973-298-5900 – www.rockawayortho.com

Feature

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / MAX-KEGFIRE

From scare-free to scream-worthy, we’ve rounded up the best Halloween attractions for all ages in and around New Jersey.

By NIA SYLVA and ANGEL MADISON

Healthy + Happy

THE COUNT’S HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR

Scare Factor:

NOT SCARY

Great for the youngest in your brood, these fright-free events offer lots of fun without the scares.

Brite Nites Wagner Farm Arboretum, Warren wfafnj.org This year’s Brite Nites events will feature an elaborate display of hand-carved and LED-lit pumpkins and will be drivethrough, not walk-through. Tickets for the October 14-16 weekend must be purchased in advance.

AddamsFest

Skylands Stadium, Augusta skylandsstadium.com Take a 45-minute walk around the stadium to see more than 6,000 hand-carved jack o’lanterns. Once you’ve finished, chill with s’mores, hot cider, cocoa and treats at the fall festival. There’s also a Ferris wheel, carousel, live music and a craft beer selection.

DiDonato’s Family Fun Center, Hammonton didonatofuncenter.com This outdoor goblin-friendly Halloween town has tricks, treats and surprises for the kids with a rolling railway train ride. Afterwards, climb on the hay maze, pick a pumpkin from the patch, play on the racing slide and meet the local witch.

The Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze Van Cortlandt Manor Croton-on-Hudson hudsonvalley.org The beloved sell-out pumpkin event is back and features thousands of hand-carved jack o’lanterns that light up the night. While in the Hudson Valley, stop at Washington Irving’s Home

and learn about the legend of Sleepy Hollow. The blaze also has a second location on Long Island.

LEGOLAND Brick-or-Treat LEGOLAND New York, Goshen legoland.com/new-york The newly-opened theme park is celebrating Halloween with a Brick-orTreat extravaganza every Saturday and Sunday in October from 3-6 pm. There will be Halloween shows, dance parties, parades, costume contests and trick-or-treating.

Halloween-Themed Monster Coaster Camelback Resort Tannersville, PA camelbackresort.com The mountain coaster gets

a seasonal makeover starting September 25, and you’ll cruise down the mountain along with some spooky creatures. If you stay overnight at Camelback, you’ll be treated to magic shows, pumpkin carving and a treat trail throughout October.

The Count’s Halloween Spooktacular Sesame Place, Langhorne, PA sesameplace.com Kids can come in costume on select dates (from September 18 to November 7), and see their favorite Sesame Street characters dressed up for the occasion. There are shows and street party parades where kids get to do the “Jack-OLantern Jump!” A Not-TooSpooky Halloween Drive-Thru (September 28-October 28)

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

LEGOLAND

Jack O’Lantern Experience

Trick-or-Treat Train

SESAME PLACE / INSET: DIDONATOS FAMILY FUN CENTER

Westfield addamsfest.com Westfield was home to Charles Addams, creator of The Addams Family, and that’s a big reason to celebrate. Throughout October, the town gets its Halloween on with everything from an art exhibit and wicked window decorations to a lantern sail and masquerade ball. You can even see the house that inspired the show, but only from the outside since it's private property.

Healthy + Happy

TRICK-OR-TREAT TRAIN

LEGOLAND BRICK-OR-TREAT

has new décor and millions of lights. Guests stay in their cars and pass through 11 zones featuring favorite characters.

Reeves-Reed Arboretum, Summit reeves-reedarboretum.org On October 17, the arboretum will host a fall celebration with a Spooky Trail featuring crafts, games, music, treats and goats.

LEGOLAND

SESAME PLACE / INSET: DIDONATOS FAMILY FUN CENTER

Celebrate Fall Festival

Scare Factor:

SLIGHTLY SPOOKY

Come for good scares and frightful fun that won’t keep you up all night.

Coney Island’s Halloween Harvest

Night of Frights

Luna Park, Coney Island, NY lunaparknyc.com Riding the Cyclone is the scariest part of this park's seasonal fun. Starting September 25, the park starts kicks off its Halloween Harvest with trick-ortreating, costumed characters and pumpkin carving stations.

The Historic Village at Allaire, Wall Township allairevillage.org Throughout October, the historic village is stepping into the Halloween spirit, with retellings of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" and evenings with Edgar Allan Poe, but on

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

October 22 and 23, "Night of Frights" will give you a chance to explore the village in the dark. There’s storytelling, creepy trails to walk (if you choose) and ghost stories galore. For a less spooky look at Halloween of yesteryear, check out the 1830s "All Hallow’s Eve Celebration" on October 30.

Princeton Ghost Tour 116 Nassau St., Princeton princetontourcompany.com Learn about the legends of Princeton’s past as you make your way through the University’s campus and surrounding neighborhood with experienced ghost hunters as your guides. Each guest will be trained to use EMF meters and other technology meant for paranormal activity detection.

You'll even go behind the locked gates of the Princeton cemetery.

14th Annual Woodbridge Ghost Walk Woodbridge hauntedhistoryproductions.com On October 9, this 50-minute excursion is jam-packed with fiction, fun and facts as you hear stories “from the ghosts themselves” (that is, from costumed actors). Tickets are available starting at 5:30 pm, and small group tours begin every 15 minutes.

Ghosts & Legends of the Downtown Paranormal Books & Curiosities, Asbury Park paranormalbooksnj.com The exceptional Paranormal Museum and Bookstore is

Healthy + Happy THE GREAT JACK O’LANTERN BLAZE

Emlen Physick Estate, Cape May capemaymac.org Cape May’s landmark Emlen Physick Estate is host to many different haunted tales, and you can take multiple tours, or attend a murder mystery dinner. But on October 15 the ghosts come to life during this immersive theatrical event.

Ghoul Spring Village Historic Cold Spring Village Cape May hcsv.org On October 22 and 23, the historic village gets a little spooky. This family-friendly haunted walk-thru will give you some chills, but you won’t encounter anything too scary.

Brighton Asylum Scare Factor:

REALLY SCARY

Only the brave should attempt these.

Fright Fest Six Flags Great Adventure, Jackson sixflags.com Fright Fest is back! This massive NJ staple took a year off, and opted for the scaled back Hallowfest, but is now back in full force. During the day, there are treats for the kids. After dark, the zombies come out for Fright Fest fun. New this year, you’ll see Xpedition Dino: Survival, a haunted maze where you’ll have to avoid blood-thirsty dinos and The Lab, another

2 Brighton Ave., Passaic brightonasylum.com This legendary horror spot is dubbed “The Scariest Place on Earth.” An interactive haunted house is filled with custom special effects with moving sets, actors and animatronics. You can add on escape rooms and axe throwing, or if you’re really brave book the Twitching Hour, an after-hours experience where you can explore the “spiritually active parts” of the asylum with ghost hunting equipment.

Bloodshed Farms Drive-Thru 2919 US-206, Columbus bloodshedfarmsfearfest.com In your car… no one can hear you scream? You’ll be driving through some the most terrifying displays and have your vehicle visited by some

truly twisted creatures on weekends in October. This year, you can purchase the Psycho Pass Upgrade, which lets the actors touch and interact with passengers.

Viva Las Vengeance One Garden State Plaza, Paramus armyofthedeadvr.com This new VR experience next to the Garden State Plaza is recommended for ages 13 and up. Guests will step into the Netflix film Army of the Dead" and fight off hordes of zombies. No one jumps out at you physically, but once you’ve got the VR headset on, the undead creatures will be clawing right at you. Be warned: the gore is pretty realistic.

Night of Terror Creamy Acres Farm Mullica Hill nightofterror.com

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

SIX FLAGS GREAT ADVENTURE

The Gloomy Apparition 2

maze with a secret laboratory of experiments gone wrong.

TOM NYCZ FOR HISTORIC HUDSON VALLEY

currently only open for private tours, but this 90-minute walking tour will tell tales of some of the most infamous ghostly legends of Asbury Park.

Healthy + Happy Head to

njfamily.com/fall

FRIGHT FEST

for corn mazes, pumpkin picking, Halloween houses + more!

This farm is home to the largest Halloween park in New Jersey every weekend in October. The expansive farm has six terrifying attractions, zombies, attack dogs, killer clowns and even a haunted paintball hayride during which visitors can tag live actors and moving props with paintballs.

SIX FLAGS GREAT ADVENTURE

TOM NYCZ FOR HISTORIC HUDSON VALLEY

Halloween Haunt Dorney Park, Allentown, PA dorneypark.com During the day, Dorney Park is filled with adorable Peanuts characters for the Great Pumpkin Fest, but at night it transforms into a truly scary haunt. Hundreds of ghouls and zombies roaming the park might be scary enough for some, but there are also attractions like Blackout, a dark candy factory and CarnEVIL, with some terrifying clowns, and many creepy mazes for you to brave… if you dare.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

Field of Terror 831 Windsor-Perrineville Rd., East Windsor fieldofterror.com Billed as New Jersey’s premiere haunted attraction farm, you’ll find the Killer Kornfield, the Haunted Hayride to Terror Town, Timmery Manor and the Creepy Carnival Paintball Ride. (There’s also a family-friendly flashlight maze for a less scary experience.)

Scare Farm 120 South Branch Rd, Hillsborough scarefarm.com You'll get three haunted attractions for the price of one at this park. Brave Creepy Hollow, the Paranoia Walking Trails and the Slay Ride. Creepy Hollow will tell you about Elias Atrum, a killer who doesn’t like guests to leave the corn field, Paranoia will have you walking

on sacred burial grounds and the Slay Ride will take you through even more genuinely terrifying scenarios.

Farm of Horrors Schaefer Farms, Flemington farmofhorrors.com Walk through 200 acres of fright during 45 of the scariest minutes of your life! The scares begin with a haunted hayride that will “scare the YELL out of you”! You’ll then take a trek through the “Trail of Terror,” and be forced to find your way back through the MassAcre Maize. The final nightmare is the Carnevil of Chaos.

Sleepy Hollow Haunted Acres Newtown, PA sleepyhollowhayride.com If abandoned gardens and crypts are your thing, this scary place should be at the top of your list. You’ll first venture into The

Hollow, where you’ll encounter crypts and catacombs and an expansive cemetery. In The Field you’ll find the ruins of a bewitched village.

Scary Rotten Farms 151 Brick Blvd., Brick scaryrottenfarms.com This farm has three scary attractions including Sinister Sneed’s Chaotic Carnival of Chaos. Blackened The Plague experience may hit scarily close to home as townspeople suffer high fevers and become delusional and violent.

13th Hour Haunted House 105 W Dewey Ave, Wharton 13thhourhauntedhatchets.com Pick your scary poison at this spot. There’s a haunted house, escape rooms and haunted hatchet throwing (for ages 13 and up). This haunted house has two floors of entertainment with rooms decorated like movie sets to enhance the thrills.

DINOSAURS After DARK!!

AA Spooky, Spooky, Funny Funny && Thrilling Thrilling October October

Adventure

Lantern Lit Tours: 30 Life Sized Dinosaurs! The Mighty T-Rex on the Prowl!

Open Every Weekend in October

BOOK TODAY!! www.jerseydinos.com

3 Overpeck Park Driveway, Leonia, NJ | 855.999.9010

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

Feature

SANDWICH

ARE YOU IN THE

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / MONKEYBUSINESSIMAGES

How parents cope with raising kids while helping their own parents By Ronnie Koenig

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

GENERATION? f you’ve ever felt the pull of raising your kids and being responsible for your parents’ care, you’re in the sandwich generation. This growing population of American parents are stressed out, running in at least two different directions and often left wondering how they can manage to do it all. Add the threat of COVID, which has altered the lives and routines of kids and parents, and you have a recipe for a truly stressful situation. The Pew Research Center reports more than one in ten parents care for an adult parent in addition to their own children. As women have children later in life and adults live longer, this scenario is

Feature

Leaning on others for help and support is just one way parents can manage the stress.

SUSAN GOLDMAN OF HOBOKEN, LEFT, WITH HER DAUGHTER JESSIE, HER MOTHER PHYLLIS ROSEMAN AND HER BROTHER JAY ROSEMAN

FIND A SUPPORT GROUP Even though it sounds time consuming, the emotional support you’ll receive from others can have lasting benefits.

DELEGATE TASKS In addition to letting family members pitch in, farm out other tasks whenever possible, like using a meal delivery service or hiring someone to clean your house.

GO EASY ON YOURSELF Besides tending to your own health (and getting enough sleep and eating healthy meals) forgive yourself for sometimes having to miss important events. You can’t be in two places at once.

SEEK OUT PROFESSIONAL HELP When emotions get too overwhelming, consider finding a counselor or therapist to work with or a trusted clergy member or friend you can open up to. “I am realistic that I can’t be there every moment, so I like to make the time that we are together count,” says Tanenbaum. “For my family, that means squeezing in weekend hiking trips and weeknight chess games.” Susan Goldman of Hoboken started a business, Cre8ive Crayonz, with her 6-year-old daughter during the pandemic. She says it’s difficult to find the time to reach out to new customers in her community while providing care for her mom who lives outside of Philadelphia. “My father just passed away in June unexpectedly so my brother and I have had to be very present to help my mom,

PHOTO COURTESY OF SUSAN GOLDMAN

becoming more and more common. Parents ages 44 and under are spending about three hours a day on caregiving for their kids and their own parents, while parents 45 and over spend about two hours a day, likely due to the fact that their own kids are older and require less hands-on caregiving, according to Pew. Self-care often goes by the wayside and caregivers are left feeling both mentally and physically overwhelmed. A big reason for the stress has to do with expected roles and lack of communication, according to University of Utah Department of Psychiatry gerontologist Anne Asman, MS. “There are psychological reasons why a disconnect exists, largely because older parents want to protect their adult children, who in turn, are focused on their own children and have challenges when role reversal is needed,” says Asman. The relationship between adult children and their aging loved ones needs to evolve to prevent delays in providing appropriate care, she says. Irina Tanenbaum, CEO and co-founder of BRIGHT, a brain health and wellness technology company, is the mother of two young children, ages 5 and 8, and also takes care of her parents who live in Bloomfield, 30 minutes from her home in Jersey City. For Tanenbaum, the task of caregiving for multiple generations can often feel logistically impossible. As a wife, mother, daughter and entrepreneur, the only way to function without sacrificing her own physical and mental health is to ask for help. “My husband helps with cooking and kids’ activities,” she says. “We also have a babysitter who not only helps with the kids’ homework, but she also cuts their hair.” Leaning on others for support is just one way parents can manage the stress. Other ideas include:

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Choosing In-Home Care

who now has a live-in because she is unable to care for herself since she has Parkinson’s,” she says. Goldman drives an hour-and-a-half each way twice a week to be with her mom. Her brother’s help has been instrumental in navigating the challenges of caring for two generations of family. “We each know our strengths and share the responsibilities in caring for my mom,” she says. “I’m a great planner and organizational person so I tend to deal with the everyday tasks— scheduling doctors’ appointments, arranging transit for my mom, arranging for friends to visit, ordering her necessities etc.,” she says. “My brother handles a lot of the long term and financials since my father has passed away. My brother and I are a great team and work together well to ensure my mom and her aide have everything they need for the day to day.” For families that have multiple generations living under one roof, the stress can be even greater. It’s not only difficult having so many people in your immediate vicinity relying on you, but younger kids can be scared or confused by the growing medical needs or failing health of a live-in grandparent. If this is your reality, it’s important to create boundaries, take time for yourself and keep a trusted friend on speed dial when you need to vent. Hopefully, you can end up creating new traditions together as a family and the different generations can learn from one another. And on days when that feels impossible, remember to give yourself a break and remind yourself that you’re doing your best!

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

For seniors who want to stay in their own homes but need extra help with medical needs or day-today tasks, in-home care can be a lifesaver. Casey Holstein, director of client relations at SYNERGY HomeCare of Metro New Jersey, says people choose in-home care for their parents for a variety of reasons including budget, proximity to family and loved ones and if the level of care that is desired/needed is attainable at home. Perhaps the most important reason of all is the desire to stay in their own home. Factors such as budget, privacy, pride and cultural differences sometimes make seniors resistant to the idea of in-home care at first, says Holstein. But there are so many benefits when people agree to receive help. “We need to remember that most people have accepted help on numerous levels for years, whether it be lawn care, a cleaning service or a handy person,” says Holstein. For many, in-home care means more independence. “The alternative, which is often isolation, can mean missing friends and activities,” says Holstein. “Have frank discussions about what mom and dad want.” And remember that in the end, it’s truly a family decision that should be made with parents and their adult children.

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he freedom that comes with not having the burden of home ownership and the ability to socialize with other seniors in an engaged, supportive and caring community are just two of the reasons seniors and their adult children choose a senior living community. “There still are misconceptions regarding continuing care retirement communities, including that they are only for individuals with serious health needs,” says Dan Dunne of Erickson Senior Living. “The fact is, from the first day at one of our communities, residents think of it as a new beginning and one of the best life decisions they have ever made.” Oftentimes, it’s the friendships and human connections that seniors value most, says Dunne. “By being able to spend

well-deserved time as they choose, residents have increased opportunities to enjoy the abundant amenities on our campuses (fitness centers, pool and clubs, gardening) and stay connected to friends and family.” The right community can empower seniors to live longer, more independent and vibrant lives. “By moving sooner, seniors are giving their families the gift of having the peace of mind that their loved ones are safe, happy and living life to the fullest.” Dunne says one adult child who helped her parents move into Cedar Crest, an Erickson Senior Living-managed community in northern New Jersey, said: “I’m so happy that my parents are safe and enjoying all of the wonderful amenities at Cedar Crest!”

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Choosing Senior Living

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CARING FOR YOUR AGING PARENTS

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Get to know some of New Jersey’s premier senior living communities.

A Special Advertising Section

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Christian Health

aking the decision to move your parents into senior living is a big one. What should families consider before deciding what’s best for them? Families should consider what level of support or care a loved one will need. Are they looking for independent apartments that enhance their lifestyle by removing the burden of home maintenance? Do they need assistance with activities of daily living and reminders to take medication? Can your loved one benefit from increased socialization? The experts at Christian Health can help answer these questions. Families should consider taking a tour. They should also request a family interview, ask what medical records or nursing assessments may be required and discuss the financial side of the residency agreement. When evaluating your choices, determine if the community you’re interested in consistently evaluates and works to improve the resident experience. Is there a resident council? A family council? Satisfaction surveys? Has the community been recognized with awards for excellent care, dining services, and more? Think about what is most important to you and your loved one. Christian Health offers the following types of senior living communities: Independent Living, Independent Living Plus, Assisted Living, Memory Care Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing and Special Care Skilled Nursing. Christian Health’s independent-living communities are designed 26

301 Sicomac Ave., Wyckoff • (201) 848-5200 • christianhealthnj.org with the needs of older adults in mind. Each community is welcoming, safe and boasts its own unique setting for living a more social and convenient life. They include: Evergreen Court, Hillcrest (Independent Living Plus), Siena Village of Wayne, Summer Hill of Wayne and The Vista. At Longview, older adults thrive with personalized care in a secure community that fosters independence. Residents have access to personalized assistance with professional, clinical staff, while enjoying innovative programs and a diverse calendar of activities. Longview offers newly renovated spaces with plentiful amenities. Courtyard at Longview, Christian Health’s Memory Care Assisted Living community, is a specialized residence designed to meet the needs of those with early stages of dementia and memory loss. Geared toward fostering ability and independence, the Courtyard design considers safety, comfort, dietary needs and mobility. Therapeutic programs help reduce dementia-related anxiety and enhance memory. Founded in 1911, Christian Health has fostered health, healing, and wellness in northern New Jersey for more than 100 years. Its commitment to caring begins with recognizing the intrinsic value of all people by helping them achieve their best quality of life. Christian Health aims to meet each person’s physical needs while nurturing their mental and spiritual well-being. What makes Christian Health truly unique is the continuum of care available through one organization. NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

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The Delaney of Bridgewater 901 Frontier Rd., Bridgewater • 732-733-4568 • thedelaneyofbridgewater.com

f you worry about your parents living in a house by themselves, moving to a senior living community gives them the ability to maintain their independence while introducing them to new opportunities. The Delaney of Bridgewater is a beautiful private residence where maintenance is taken care of. Residents can choose from a villa or apartment. All are well-appointed and come with scheduled housekeeping and most utilities. Residents have the freedom, flexibility and time to do what they want. They can meet new friends at the bar for coffee or cocktails, enjoy dinner at a full-service restaurant or watch a OCTOBER 2021 | NJFAMILY.COM

movie on the big-screen TV. Have a parent in need of assistance? The Delaney’s kind and respectful team is trained to meet a resident’s every need—from help with bathing and dressing to medication reminders. The Delaney also features Heartfelt Connections—A Memory Care Program®, which offers people with Alzheimer’s and related dementias the care, respect and quality of life they deserve, along with a sense of security and peace of mind for loved ones. The Delaney is expertly managed by Life Care Services®, An LCS® Company, with more than 50 years of experience in senior living. 27

Lepp, Mayrides, & Eaton, LLC, located in the heart of downtown Somerville in Somerset County, is a family law-focused firm committed to providing the highest quality representation to all clients in the most professional manner. As experienced family law attorneys, they understand that a divorce is difficult, both emotionally and financially. Heidi Ann Lepp, Mark T. Mayrides, Sarah M. Eaton, and Jane R. Altman work to help clients carefully and thoughtfully navigate every step of the process. 92 East Main Street, Suite 206 Somerville, NJ 08876

908-800-7676 info@lmefamilylaw.com www.lmefamilylaw.com

Compassion,Trust & Results Sharing more than a hundred years of collective experience dedicated solely to family law, the practice’s skilled attorneys aspire to help clients reach the most favorable result while protecting each family’s interests. Whether achieved through mediation, arbitration, litigation or a collaborative approach, the attorneys at Lepp, Mayrides, & Eaton, LLC work diligently to ensure each matter is resolved fairly and in a timely manner. They pride themselves on assisting clients in the most efficient and respectful way possible.

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

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Why You Need a Will Now Anyone with kids or aging parents needs to put estate planning at the top of their to-do list.

By Ronnie Koenig

etting a will written is not something anyone wants to do, but it’s a necessary document to have, especially when you’re a parent. Christine M. Sellitti, attorney and a founding member of Elias Sellitti LLC, a boutique law firm with its main office in Basking Ridge, says we’re all going to need a will someday. She’s seen firsthand what not having one can do to families and the fights and uncertainties it can cause just aren’t worth it. “My sincere advice is to think of estate planning and will preparation as a gift you’re doing for your loved ones,” she says. “We plan for everything in life, education, weddings, retirement, and this is the one thing that we know we’ll need so I urge everyone to consider making a will.”

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APPOINTING A GUARDIAN If you’re a parent of a young child, appointing a guardian to care for your minor child or children is a top priority and a pressing reason to get a will written ASAP. “A guardian is the person who will act in a parental role to your children,” says Sellitti. “If you don’t designate a guardian in your will, someone will have to make an application to the court to obtain guardianship or custody of the minor child or children, which is much more cumbersome and costly.” Additionally, if you don’t designate a guardian to care for your minor children in the event of your death, you run the risk of family or friends fighting in court over who will take care of the children, or possibly worse, nobody stepping up to the plate to take custody and care of your children. If you have a child or relative with special needs, Sellitti says you should consider a “special needs trust” which could allow the beneficiary to continue to receive government assistance while using trust assets as needed for any expenses that government assistance would not pay for.

INCLUDING ADULT CHILDREN IN YOUR WILL

Even if your children are grown, you still need a will. “You would not need to designate a guardian in your will to care for an adult child, but you may nevertheless wish to set up trusts for

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

your adult children for asset and/or tax protection purposes,” says Sellitti. “Talking to an estate planning attorney will help you determine your issues and make recommendations for your situation.” For example, you may have a family business that you want to pass on to the next generation, but only some of your children are involved in the business. You may want to treat all of your children equally in financial terms, but only want the business to pass to the children who are directly involved. An estate planning attorney can help you navigate those issues and make the best plan that suits your family.” Another important point that is often overlooked is the need to include your own aging parents in your estate plan, especially if you’re providing them direct support in the form of money, care or housing. A good estate attorney will know how to ensure continued care of the parent if you’re no longer around to do so.

PASSING ON ASSETS Another important reason to get a will is so you can define in what manner your assets will pass. “For example, if you die without a will and all of your assets pass to your minor children as your next of kin and heirs at law, those assets will be held by the surrogate’s court for the child in a non-interest or low-interest bearing account,” explains Sellitti. If this happens, the child or their court-appointed guardian will generally have little or no access to those funds until the child turns 18. At that point, the child will have to make an application to the court for access to any funds. At age 18, all assets will be paid out to the child no matter how much or how little is in the account and regardless of any surrounding issues such as the child’s ability to manage funds. By designating when and how your assets should be distributed, you can protect your child from coming into a sum of money they are not experienced enough to manage. You’ll also be protecting them from untrustworthy friends or spouses without the best intentions.

WORKING WITH AN ATTORNEY While there are plenty of websites out there that claim to write you a quick will at a low cost, Sellitti says that just as

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“ Many people think of estate planning as something for the ultra-wealthy, but that is not necessarily the case.” you wouldn’t rely on WebMD to diagnose an ailment, the same goes for estate planning. “Find an attorney who focuses their practice on estate planning,” she says. “Many people think of estate planning as something for the ultra-wealthy, but that is not necessarily the case.” An estate planning attorney will assist you in a holistic manner. Someone who will draft a “quick will” for you generally will not look at the whole picture and ultimately many issues are left unattended to and can result in your assets passing in a way you did not intend. You could also end up costing your loved ones money either in taxes or legal expenses or both. All of this can be avoided by retaining an estate planning attorney. And while you might be tempted to scribble a will on a piece

of paper, Sellitti says this isn’t ideal since New Jersey laws are very specific, which could deem the will invalid. Instead, Sellitti suggests looking for an attorney who will consider your entire personal and financial situation and one who will listen to your concerns. “Jot down some quick ideas of what you would want your world to look like if suddenly you were no longer in it,” she says. “For example, who would you want to take care of your children, and who would you want to manage your affairs? Then call an estate planning attorney and start the process. You will be happy you did it and you will feel secure in your plan.” *The information in this story is not intended as specific legal advice, but rather as a starting point to think about this important topic.

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WHAT TO KNOW LEGALLY WHEN THEY TURN 18

Guiding New Jersey parents through those challenging years

Healthy + Happy

Glasses vs. WHICH IS RIGHT FOR YOUR KID? “… glasses may be a better option, such as if your child has certain medical issues...”

f you wear glasses, you know they come with challenges. Between lenses that fog up and frames that slide or uncomfortable nose pads, it can be downright inconvenient. Ditto for active kids who wear glasses. But are contacts a better choice for children? “Contacts may be an option for kids who are mature enough to handle the responsibility,” says Brenda PaganDuran, MD, spokesperson for the American Academy of Ophthalmology in private practice at Westwood Ophthalmology Associates. “But there’s a greater risk of eye infection with contacts, so kids must be able to care for them, such as putting them in and taking them out, in a healthy way.” Here’s what else to consider:

WHEN CAN KIDS GET CONTACTS?

ARE GLASSES SOMETIMES A BETTER CHOICE? There are a few times when glasses may be a better option, such as if your child has certain medical issues like amblyopia, where vision in an eye doesn’t develop properly during childhood. If your kid has severe allergies and itchy eyes, contacts may not feel comfortable, though those symptoms often can be managed, says Wagner. Contacts should never be worn for some activities, such as swimming or using a hot tub, because the risk of infection increases, says Pagan-Duran. It’s also important to understand your child’s wishes and personality. For

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Your child’s eye doctor will evaluate your child and do a contact lens fitting and follow up exam before prescribing. “In general, we don’t usually prescribe contacts for kids younger than about 12 years old,” says Rudolph Wagner, MD, clinical professor of ophthalmology and director of pediatric ophthalmology at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School. “But we evaluate each child individually to see if they can handle the care requirements because they have to do these things, such as cleaning lenses, themselves.” The bottom line is you know your kids best. Some teens or preteens may be ready, while other kids are disciplined enough to handle the responsibility by age 10, says PaganDuran. Because there are circumstances when contacts are more convenient—such as for kids who participate in dance or sports or even while wearing masks because of lenses fogging up—it’s worth having a discussion with your child and their doctor. Just be aware that contacts often aren’t covered by insurance unless you have a separate vision plan and many of those cover glasses or contacts, not both.

Contacts:

By Arricca Elin SanSone

Healthy + Happy

It’s more about your child’s individual readiness than anything else. example, if your child is comfortable with glasses, don’t push contacts. Simply put, kids need to be invested in the decision since the responsibility for care is theirs. If your child doesn’t seem ready, it’s a good idea to wait and re-evaluate in a year, says Pagan-Duran.

MAKE SURE THEY FOLLOW THE RULES Once your child has been prescribed contacts, it’s important they follow the recommended care guidelines to reduce the risk of infection or damage to the cornea. In many cases, kids are prescribed disposable daily wear contacts. Some doctors will prescribe bi-weekly contacts that need to be cleaned and disinfected every day. No matter what they’re prescribed, make sure kids don’t skimp on care: They need to wash their hands before putting contacts in and taking them out, and they should never sleep in them, says Pagan-Duran. Kids should also know to remove contacts if their eyes feel red, painful, watery or sensitive to light.

“ Contacts may be an option for kids who are mature enough to handle the responsibility.”

GETTING USED TO CONTACTS Most doctors require kids to wear contacts for a week and demonstrate they can proficiently put them in and take them out on their own at the doctor’s office. Some kids will pick this up quickly while others will need more practice. Talk to your doctor about YouTube tutorials that offer tips on how to handle contacts. Make sure to prescreen the videos first. Remind your kids to keep their hands clean and be patient as they get used to wearing contacts. And encourage them to wear their glasses on nights and weekends (or whenever possible) to give their eyes a rest.

KEEP UP WITH SCREENINGS Make sure your child is seen on a regular basis, says Wagner. Generally, that’s once a year for screenings, but call your eye care professional if your child is complaining about itchy eyes or discomfort with contacts. “We’ve actually seen a lot more cases of dry eye in kids this year than ever before, probably due to increased screen time and remote learning,” says Wagner. Lubricating drops can help if a child is having issues with discomfort; ask your eye doctor for a recommendation because some types of drops cannot be used with contacts. —Arricca Elin SanSone is a New York-based health and lifestyle writer.

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Giving Back G

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By Heidi L. Borst

iving back is an important endeavor at any age, but for teens on the path to independence, it’s invaluable. Helping others allows teenagers to tap into their own unique value system in a way that’s meaningful to them, giving them a sense of purpose. And with so many teens feeling disconnected during the pandemic, volunteering offers an authentic way for them to connect with their community. What’s more, volunteer work provides powerful mental health benefits as well as physical perks. According to research published by The Journal of the American Medical Association, helping others boosts heart health, decreasing the risk of cardiovascular disease. The bottom

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How to get your teen inspired to volunteer line: volunteering is beneficial all-around. If you want to help get your teens involved with giving back, but you’re not quite sure where to begin, read on for suggestions on local organizations where they can donate their time and skills.

BENEFITS OF VOLUNTEERING Volunteering helps cultivate empathy, boosts resilience, and promotes gratitude, says Margaret DeLong Psy.D., a Long Valley licensed psychologist and author of Feeling Good: Thirty-Five Proven Ways to Happiness, Even During Tough Times. “It also fosters social interactions and helps to create meaningful relationships.” She recommends

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Local resources your teen can use to get started:

Jersey Cares jerseycares.org Connecting volunteers with local opportunities, Jersey Cares identifies ways for young adults to give back, from tutoring to painting school murals. Visit the site for a calendar of current opportunities and to register to give back. NJ Humane Society newjerseyhumanesociety.org Teens who are passionate about animals can donate money, dog and cat food or other necessities. New Jersey Students in Action multiplyinggood.org This is a “youth service, leadership and recognition program” that helps youth to increase their volunteer capacity both at school and in the community. NJ VOAD (Volunteer Organizations Active

in Disaster) njvoad.org This group works to connect volunteers with those affected by disasters such as fires, storms and homelessness. ed Cross, New Jersey R redcross.org Offering opportunities to contribute financially, donate blood, or become a volunteer, the Red Cross is a great way for teens to help others in need. United Way of Northern NJ unitedwaynnj.org With volunteer opportunities, organized donations, local events and advocacy opportunities, teens can take part in a cause they believe in. They currently offer a program recognizing high school students who have made “an exceptional commitment to their community through volunteer work over the course of a year” called United Way Varsity Letter. olunteer Center South Jersey V sjvolunteers.org This organization connects volunteers with local nonprofit organizations. The goal is to match helpers with a nonprofit in need of resources.

finding simple ways to give back that are personally meaningful. For example, if your teen loves playing soccer, they might enjoy volunteering to help out with a special needs children’s league. When it comes to giving back, parents should serve as active role models for their kids. “An important ingredient for creating an appetite for volunteering is kids seeing it in their own families,” says Rosalind Dorlen, Psy.D., an independent practitioner of psychology in Summit and allied professional staff member of Overlook Hospital’s Department of Psychiatry. “Family provides the rich soil to allow volunteering to flourish. It’s really good for kids to help others. Not just so that they should be grateful for what they have, but so that they realize there’s intrinsic value in providing support to others.”

WAYS TO GIVE BACK Offering time is a great way for teens to give back. “Children could visit a senior center or a veteran’s hospital,” DeLong says. “If a child notices some trash on the side of the road, they could do a community cleanup. As a family, they could volunteer at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter.” Alternately, teens with a specific talent can donate their resources. For instance, “a high school student can tutor a younger student, who might be struggling,” she says. Offering their care and attention is an option, either by physically visiting people who are homebound, or bringing them handmade goods. “They could send letters, bracelets or something fun to children who are at the hospital long-term, or a care package to someone in the community who might be struggling,” says DeLong. Finally, teens can donate money or goods. They might cook a meal for someone who’s going through a difficult time, or call their local food pantry to see what items might be low, suggests DeLong. This way, they’re shopping with intention instead of just grabbing random items from the pantry to donate. No matter how your teen chooses to give back, the key is that it’s meaningful to them. “When it’s meaningful and connected to their personal life, it’s more special, and it also makes them more likely to continue to do it,” DeLong says.

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Community FoodBank of NJ cfbnj.org Volunteers work to assemble donations into food boxes to be distributed to those in need. Teens between ages 12-15 must have an adult with them as well as be fully vaccinated.

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

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Worried About Underage Drinking?

We asked the experts for tips on how to talk to your teen about alcohol.

©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM / LIFESTYLEVISUALS

By Heidi L. Borst

orth Jersey mother Megan Evans* was jolted awake when her phone rang one Friday night during her 17-year-old son Eric’s senior year. It was Eric’s friend on the line; she said Eric was sick, and they were waiting downstairs. “I leapt out of bed, opened the front door, and saw my son leaning over the railing puking his guts out,” says Evans. She quickly assessed that Eric hadn’t suddenly been stricken by some mystery illness, he’d been drinking. Her husband took over, bringing Eric inside while Evans drove the friend home. Stunned to find out that “they’d been drinking vodka out of water bottles on school property during that night’s football game,” Evans was furious. Evans’ experience is far from unique. Underage drinking, which often begins in adolescence, is a major problem in the United States, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. What’s more, alcohol is used more than any other substance. In a 2019 survey by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), almost 25 percent of 14 to 15-year-olds admitted to having had at least one alcoholic drink. And though statistically, America’s youth drink less than adults, almost 90 percent of the alcohol they do consume occurs via

binge drinking (defined as more than four drinks for females and more than five drinks for males). Among those surveyed, about two percent of 12 to 13-year-olds reported drinking alcohol in the past month, with about one percent admitting to binge drinking. In 16 to 17-year-old respondents, about 20 percent said they drank, with almost 10 percent reporting binge drinking. As a parent, how can you approach the subject of drinking with your child? Read on for expert suggestions:

SIGNS OF UNDERAGE DRINKING When kids don’t want their parents to know something, they’re masters at covering their tracks. Sure, it’s possible we might find a bottle of alcohol tucked away in our child’s closet (or even smell it on their breath), but teenagers usually aren’t that obvious. So how do you know if your teen is drinking? When it comes to signs of alcohol use, one size doesn’t fit all. According to SAMHSA, you may notice behavioral or mood changes such as anger, irritability or defensiveness. Their energy may decline, or they may become uninterested in things they used to enjoy. Grades may begin to slip, they may start missing classes, or they might begin *Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the parents interviewed for this story.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

Feature

If your teen has a drinking problem, connect with these resources: to receive disciplinary action at school. Other signs include memory and concentration issues, changes to their sleep routine or bloodshot eyes. “If you notice any shift in your teen’s normal behavior (either at home, academically or socially) it’s important to talk to find out what’s going on,” says Jennifer Remsen, MSW, LSW, a program coordinator of adolescent services at Montclair’s COPE Center at Oaks Integrated Care. Maybe you feel like your kid is going to drink anyway, so you’d rather they do it at home. But in New Jersey, allowing your child and their underage friends to have even one alcoholic beverage has major legal consequences. Parents who provide alcohol to minors can face a $1,000 fine and up to six months in jail, not to mention a criminal record. Under NJ law, “anyone who purposely or knowingly offers or serves or makes available an alcoholic beverage to a person under the legal age for consuming alcoholic beverages or entices or encourages that person to drink an alcoholic beverage is a disorderly person.” Even if you’re not physically in your home (or if you’re sleeping) when underage drinking occurs, you can be held legally accountable, so don’t allow it under any circumstances.

START THE CONVERSATION EARLY “Establish a good rapport with your kids early on and communicate openly with them about the seriousness of alcohol use—they’re more likely to be involved in crashes, have issues with school and with their friends, be a victim of a crime and there’s a potential for addiction,” says Remsen. “Don’t make it so unapproachable that they don’t talk to you about it, and they just experiment with their friends behind your back.” Want your kids to learn good habits? Start by being a strong role model and exhibiting healthy behavior around alcohol consumption. “Behavior is learned, and kids are going to emulate what they see in the household,” says George Smith, a program supervisor at COPE Center. “If the parents are getting knocked out drunk every night, that’s obviously not good. Kids are going to think it’s okay and that it’s normal.” It’s vital to help your kids develop healthy coping strategies to deal with life’s stressors. “When people don’t have the skills to manage stress in a constructive way, they might look to substances to find that temporary relief, sometimes progressing into full-blown addiction,” says Remsen. “A lot of times when addiction occurs, it’s because people are using [alcohol] as a coping mechanism, so being able to give our kids the skills to cope with the stresses of life in a healthy way and making home a safe place to talk about those things is important.”

WHAT TO DO IF THEY’RE ALREADY DRINKING With kids, there will be some level of experimentation, so address it in a way that’s relatable and understandable but that also communicates the potential dangers, says Remsen. It’s important to find a balance between letting your kids feel safe enough to come to you if they’ve been drinking and holding them accountable. “If there’s a culture in your family where [drinking] is a horrible

Above the Influence (abovetheinfluence.com) Al-Anon Family Groups (al-anon.org) COPE Center-Oaks Integrated Care (oaksintcare.org/services/copecenter) NJ Connect: (855) 652-3737 (njconnectforrecovery.org) NJ Department of Human Services Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services (state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhas) Perform Care NJ (performcarenj.org/families/resources/substance) ReachNJ (nj.gov/humanservices/reachnj) Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (samhsa.gov) NJ Addictions Access Center: (844) 276-2777

offense with severe consequences, then they might not feel that they can come to you, and something even worse can happen. However, kids need structure and boundaries. Address the behavior and hold them accountable, because the world will create boundaries if you as a parent don’t,” Remsen says. Before doling out a harsh punishment, explore with them why they drank. “Were they experimenting? Was it peer pressure? Are they dealing with a mental health issue like anxiety or depression and self-medicating? If they come home and self-disclose, ‘Hey mom, I was at a party and this is what happened,’ then have a healthy discussion about it,” Smith says. Evans is glad her son’s drinking incident happened when he was still in high school instead of after he’d left for college. “We had a serious conversation about his plans, which were to apply to Ivy League schools,” she says. “Behavior reports are available to guidance counselors and schools, so it was extremely unwise to be drinking on school property—he could have just thrown his chances of being away. He got very lucky that there weren’t any consequences besides being grounded.”

WHEN DRINKING BECOMES A PROBLEM If drinking becomes a recurrent pattern, say, it’s the third party your child had to call you from for a ride home after they’d been drinking, Smith says it’s time to go deeper. “Ask your child, ‘Do you need treatment? Do you need to talk to someone?’ Are these signs of addiction, or is something else wrong? We don’t want to associate a pattern of drinking with a punishment, we want to associate it with some type of help.” When underage drinking becomes habitual, try to get a sense of the core issues underlying the addiction. “A lot of times, especially with kids, alcohol use is masking something else,” says Smith. “Maybe there’s addiction somewhere else in the family, maybe there’s a reason the kid is drinking (like mom and dad are fighting), or maybe there’s something else going on in the household.” No matter what, never place blame on yourself or your child. “Sometimes parents don’t understand that addiction is not just a choice of ‘just say no.’ It’s not that simple,” Smith says. “Recognize that addiction is a family disease, and the entire family should be involved in treatment. Get the family involved so everyone can communicate with each other and really work as a whole.” —Heidi L. Borst is a mother, writer and lifestyle coach based in Wilmington, NC.

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

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At MBS, students explore, discover, and excel

The strength that sets MBS apart is how successfully we focus on engagement—energizing students to immerse themselves actively and deeply in the experience of learning. MBS students aren’t simply covering more content, doing more homework, and taking more tests; they are striving to understand important material more deeply and to take on meaningful challenges. MBS is also exceptional in the attention we pay to each individual A coeducational, independent school grades 6-12

and the breadth of opportunity we provide to each. With an emphasis on balance, every student is encouraged to take risks, push into challenging new territory, and explore all their talents.

www.mbs.net

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW (LEGALLY AND MEDICALLY) ON YOUR TEEN’S 18TH BIRTHDAY By Jennifer Kantor

icture this…your child is in the hospital, but the on-call doctor won’t talk to you let alone allow you to weigh in on medical decisions. And while hospitalized, your child’s bills are going unpaid because you can’t access their accounts—potentially wreaking havoc on their financial credit. Why? Because they’re over the age of 18. This birthday milestone legally marks the transition from minors to official adults, bringing with it major changes in legal status. They can vote. Enlist. Get a tattoo. They’re also entitled to privacy rights, meaning that anyone not given explicit rights via a power of attorney (financial), a medical power of attorney, and HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) release, among other important documents, can be denied info and access—even (and sometimes especially) parents. So you’d think parents would be lining up for the legal keys to their kids’ welfare. Yet according to Ann-Marie Murzin, a Clarkbased lawyer specializing in family estate planning, the vast majority of parents don’t take the time to have their child okay access, even though it’s easy to do online or with the help of an

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

attorney. “They rarely think of doing it until there’s a problem,” she says, making already stressful situations unbearable. Which is a shame, given that a bit of planning goes a long way in saving “time, money and peace of mind,” says Murzin. Here’s what every family should have: A POWER OF ATTORNEY A power of attorney (POA) essentially endows an agent (a parent) with the right to act on behalf of a principal (your adult child) in matters limited only to one’s need for specification. It can be “springing” and activated only upon “incapacitation” or some specified event, or immediate/durable which is preferable among anxious parents picturing their kids woozy in the ER. “It’s better to have broad power and have it be immediate and not have to meet any definition,” says Murzin. States typically honor each other’s POAs, but it never hurts to draw one up for the state your child will be studying or living in, even if temporarily. They’re typically broken down into two separate documents:

This is because the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) gives parents legal rights over their minor’s academic information—a right that transfers upon turning 18 or starting college. The work around? Most schools offer students the opportunity to sign a FERPA release allowing parental access. Parents can also formally request access for kids who are still tax dependents. Discuss FERPA with your child to come up with a solution that respects both their independence and your hefty financial investment. Here’s what else you should think about:

WILLS Does your child need a will? Maybe not if they have few assets. “If they have a trust fund, that’s a different scenario,” says Murzin, though a simple will never hurts. It may, however, be a good time for you to revisit your will and trust to see how circumstances changed. If you don’t designate when (at age 30; upon marriage; etc.), how (for college/trade school; to start a business, a home, etc.), for whom (kids, grandkids, friends) and in what percentage you’d like your money to be distributed, any of your beneficiaries over the age of 18 can spend their inheritance anyway they see fit. CREDIT CARDS Young adults are inundated with credit card offers—a practical life necessity that often drives inexperienced spenders deeply into debt. The smartest and safest way to get a card, according to Mistrough, is to add your child to your account. The benefit is two-fold: Parents can monitor transactions (how much on pizza?) and students get an immediate bump in their credit score, a must for things like renting apartments, signing up for utilities and getting their own phone (you can’t pay for it forever). “A good credit score can be golden for them,” she says. “But the main thing is to teach them skills and how to be responsible with money.” And that’s the point of a continued connection to your children. It’s not to micro-manage or control them, but rather to have their back and support their growth. “Give them wings but also don’t let them crash,” says Mistrough. “It’s a balancing act for sure.” Jennifer Kantor is an education, parenting and lifestyle writer and a Maplewood mom of two.

• POWER OF ATTORNEY / MEDICAL This allows parents to discuss their 18+ child’s medical condition with a health provider, and gives them the right to make decisions on their behalf if they’re unable. Some kids may not be so into mom having an all-access pass to chat up their doctors—in this case, they can opt for a springing POA that kicks in for surgery or unconsciousness, but doesn’t allow for discussions of, say, STDs. • POWER OF ATTORNEY / FINANCIAL This allows parents to pay bills, make deposits, pax taxes, and make other financial decisions. According to Murzin, it can also include things your kids won’t mind like the right to pick up their packages, and things they may balk at but could be critical in a crisis, such as passwords to online accounts and groups. “If there’s an incident, the social media may be relevant,” she says, noting the legal hurdle it would require otherwise to get access. HIPAA RELEASE When kids become legal adults, they have a right to complete health privacy under HIPAA. That means no one can see their information without permission—and that means you, even if you’re paying for college or they’re still living in your basement. Ask your child to sign a HIPAA release form (which is often included along with the medical power of attorney), to allow health providers to share relevant information. Signees can also exclude certain information, such as disclosures regarding sex and drugs. FERPA RELEASE You may be spending a small fortune on college. Guess what? It doesn’t entitle you to view your child’s GPA. “Schools have no obligation to tell you about their grades,” says Joan Mistrough, owner of Money Proud Financial Coaching in Metuchen. “A lot of parents get really upset about that because they feel like they have the right to see them, and the fact is they don’t.”

BANKS Once your child turns 18, accounts and investments held in their names may become theirs. Check with your banks or investment manager to find out what your next steps are in terms of transferring assets. If willing, you should also have your child designate a beneficiary, and add you as secondary (aka authorized signer) on accounts allowing you access without ownership (assuming they want your continued help managing the account).

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

CURIOSITY A Waldorf Education With unique outdoor learning experiences

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Ranney students are creative and critical thinkers who explore many passions, and welcome new challenges. Ranney fosters curiosity with its customized curriculum and vast student life opportunities.

FALL OPEN HOUSE SUNDAY, OCT. 24TH www.maryhelp.org/ohreg/ MARY HELP OF CHRISTIANS ACADEMY 659 BELMONT AVENUE NORTH HALEDON, NJ 07508 973.790.6200 | MARYHELP.ORG

Lead/Create/Contribute

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www.ranneyschool.org

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Is private school the right fit for your family?

Check out our snapshots of independent schools in and around New Jersey.

Schools that serve students with special needs are indicated with a symbol. FALL 2020 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

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Private School Previews

Banyan Elementary School*

12 Hollywood Ave., Fairfield 973-439-1919, banyanschool.com Banyan Elementary School is a private, non-profit, New Jersey Department of Education Approved School for students (ages 6 to 14) with significant language-based learning disabilities. Over the past 28 years, our primary focus has been the development and reinforcement of the reading, language and communication skills necessary for academic success. Our faculty is trained in a variety of research-based, multi-sensory teaching techniques and strategies, including the Wilson Reading System®, Lindamood Bell® Programs, Multisensory Math®, and TouchMath®. With small classes, individualized attention and integrated assistive technology, we are committed to establishing the foundation that students need for learning while fostering social and interpersonal skills.

students with significant language-based learning disabilities. Established in 2006, the High School program provides a structured curriculum with small classes that allow our faculty to focus on each student’s academic and social needs. The 9th–12th grade curriculum continues to reinforce reading, language and communication skills, while preparing students for the next phase of their education and life. Our faculty is trained in a variety of researchbased, multi-sensory teaching techniques and strategies, including the Wilson Reading System®, Lindamood Bell® Programs and Multisensory Math®. The LIFE (Learning Independence. Fostering Empowerment.) Academy for 18-to-21-year-old students emphasizes life and work skills in a supportive environment that builds confidence and success.

unique activities both in and out of the classroom. Our faculty is committed to a rigorous academic curriculum, while helping each student reach his full potential. The principles of faith and service remain ever-present in our community, always giving our students a chance to help those who are less fortunate. Over the past five years, each graduating class has averaged over 100 hours of service per student, which greatly exceeds the 50 hours required for graduation. Meanwhile, our championshipwinning athletics and dynamic extracurricular activities allow for our students to foster an unparalleled brotherhood during their time at the Academy. For over 60 years, CBA has developed young men of faith, character and action who are prepared to serve society as leaders and innovators.

Christian Brothers Academy

11 West Forest Ave., Teaneck 201-837-8070 (Lower School) 1135 Teaneck Rd., Teaneck 201-862-1796 (High School) communityschoolk12nj.org

Banyan High School & LIFE Academy*

850 Newman Springs Rd., Lincroft 732-747-1959 ex. 217 CBALincroftNJ.org

Banyan High School is a private, non-profit, New Jersey Department of Education Approved School for

Christian Brothers Academy has built a reputation rooted in excellence, basing our educational philosophy on the Lasallian tradition. We focus on developing every aspect of our students through

471 Main St., Little Falls 973-785-1919, banyanschool.com

The Community School*

Community School is an amazing place. Serving the bright child with learning difficulties for 53 years,

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

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the school provides students with individualized skilled remedial help, including reading instruction that utilizes the Orton-Gillingham and Wilson Language Training approaches. Speech and language services, counseling, college guidance and a full transition program are provided. The New Jersey Student Learning Standards and Common Core Standards are closely followed throughout the curriculum. All classes are grouped according to skill level, are small in size and offer high-level course content in addition to specific remediation. A wide variety of elective subjects are offered at all grade levels. The result is a challenging college preparatory program that includes a full array of extracurricular experiences and a strong interscholastic sports program. At Community School, each and every student can excel and is able to reach his or her full potential.

The Craig School*

The Craig School Campuses; 10 Tower Hill Rd., Mountain Lakes; 24 Changebridge Rd., Montville 973-334-1295 craigschool.org The Craig School is an independent school that specializes in working with students with learning disabilities in grades 2–12. We are a family of parents, educators and students brought together by purpose. We are a school built upon the foundation that all students can and will learn if the right environments, strategies and supports are made available to them. We are a second home to our students and families, and offer a challenging academic program that features proven, researchbased learning strategies including multi-sensory approaches, assistive technology and organizational skills. Our students are taught to learn by providing them with meta-cognitive strategies and crosscurricular approaches. These learning tools allow students to build their academic foundations, to increase their ability to be active and independent learners and to develop a sense of who they are as individuals and students. Visit craigschool.org or call 973-334-1295.

The Elisabeth Morrow School

435 Lydecker St., Englewood 201-568-5566 elisabethmorrow.org For more than 90 years, The Elisabeth Morrow School in Englewood, NJ, has remained a leading independent day school. Preparing today’s young learners for tomorrow’s possibilities, we serve students from age two through eighth grade. Children’s natural curiosity grows into a lifelong love of learning through our exemplary curriculum, featuring innovative programming in science, technology, engineering, arts, and music (STEAM) —and our music program is nationally renowned.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

Private School Previews

Each student in our diverse, inclusive, child-centered community further develops through socialemotional learning and experiencing our communitywide core values. Learning takes place indoors and outdoors across our 14-acre campus, which is also a certified wildlife habitat. The best way to explore our offerings is firsthand; connect with our Admissions Office for an in-person tour. Visit elisabethmorrow. org to learn more.

Gill St. Bernard’s School

St. Bernard’s Road, Gladstone 908-234-1611 gsbschool.org Gill St. Bernard’s School is a coeducational, nonsectarian, independent school that prepares students academically, socially and ethically for college and a meaningful life. Located on 208 beautiful acres in Gladstone, NJ, Gill St. Bernard’s offers an intentionally balanced learning approach that combines a rigorous academic curriculum, impressive arts and athletics program, experiential learning opportunities, and an ever-growing list of extracurricular activities that allows our Preschool to 12th grade students to discover new passions while building their skill sets in the classroom and beyond. Upon graduation, GSB students are articulate, engaging young people poised for success. The 98 graduates of the Class of 2021 were accepted at some of the country’s most prestigious colleges and universities including Cornell, Emory, Georgetown, Lehigh, Purdue, and the University of Pennsylvania. To learn more about Gill St. Bernard’s School, please visit www.gsbschool.org/visit-us and join our upcoming open house events.

The Gramon Family of Schools* 28 Dwight Pl., Fairfield 973-882-8822 gramonfamily.org

The Gramon Family of Schools, located in Fairfield, NJ, is a New Jersey Department of Education approved private special education school dedicated to serving students ages 3 through 21 with Autism Spectrum Disorder and other developmental disabilities. Since 1939, The Gramon Family of Schools has supported students and their families by committing to the philosophy that every student deserves the opportunity to attain his or her highest potential. The program provides effective Individualized Educational Plans for each student

utilizing the expertise of certified teachers, clinicians, administrators and support staff. Our curriculum provides traditional and functional academics, as well as 21st century skills, which are taught and modeled through Applied Behavioral Analysis and other evidence-based instructional methods. The goal is to connect school-based educational, pre-vocational and social experiences to the community and prepare students for their life-long journey. To learn more, please visit gramonfamily.org or schedule a tour at admissions@gramon.org.

Green Meadow Waldorf School

307 Hungry Hollow Rd., Chestnut Ridge, NY 845-356-2514 gmws.org If you are looking for a private school for your children, look no further! Nestled on 11 acres in the heart of Rockland County, Green Meadow Waldorf School (GMWS) offers a curriculum that engenders in its young people the academic, social, artistic, and practical abilities that will enable them to become self-reliant and generous individuals capable of meeting whatever challenges they face in the future. GMWS provides a Nursery-12th grade education with unique offerings like Parent & Child classes, Forest Kindergarten, and Farm Kindergarten. Our small class sizes, outdoor learning experiences and world language program are some of the features that set us apart. Join us for one of our Online Information Sessions or schedule a private tour by emailing admissions@gmws.org.

Immaculate Heart Academy

500 Van Emburgh Ave., Washington Twp. 201-445-6800 ihanj.com Immaculate Heart Academy is an all-female college preparatory high school in the Archdiocese of Newark, which has as its purpose the complete education of young women. By cultivating the traditional Christian values of the Roman Catholic Church and upholding exceptional academic standards, IHA offers a unique educational experience. The school’s mission, both at its foundation in 1960 and today, is to provide quality Catholic education to young women in an atmosphere characterized by respect for the individual and the Christian community, and a high level of family involvement. IHA was thrilled to successfully open in Fall 2021 with all in-person instruction and a new daily schedule that was thoughtfully created to keep with the mission of the school while providing the community the safest and healthiest environment possible. By instilling in its students a sense of responsibility, confidence, justice, peace and compassion, IHA prepares its young women for life throughout the twenty-first century.

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Lacordaire Academy

155 Lorraine Ave., Upper Montclair 973-744-1156 x12 lacordaireacademy.com Lacordaire Academy is a 101-year-old independent, college preparatory school in the Catholic Dominican tradition serving a diverse coed PK–8th grade and all women in grades 9–12th. The school is on a 3-acre campus in Upper Montclair, and facilitates a rigorous curriculum that empowers students to develop their own gifts and talents. Lacordaire has a warmth and connectedness that is distinct. Class sizes are 15–22 students. Eighth grade boys attend high schools such as Seton Hall Prep, St. Peters, Xavier (NYC) and Regis (NYC). The Upper School prepares young women for exceptional leadership and empowerment. Graduates have been accepted to Harvard, Yale, Brown, Barnard and UPenn. Please register via our website for our Fall Open House Oct. 17th and our All Academy Information Session on Dec. 2nd. Please also consider booking a tour with the Admissions Office. We look forward to talking with you!

Lakeland-Andover School*

20 Jefferson St., Newton 973-383-0208 lakelandandoverschool.org Lakeland-Andover School is a private, nonprofit therapeutic day school with vocational and academic programs providing special education for 6th–12th graders with learning, emotional and/ or behavioral challenges. Not only does LakelandAndover School have a dedicated and skilled staff teaching the required core-curriculum classes, but when many public schools are eliminating vocational classes we are expanding ours to meet the needs of students who may excel with hands-on instruction. These offerings are then complemented with extensive community-based instruction opportunities. When students at Lakeland-Andover experience the success of building and completing a project from their own drawings, or receive the accolades at an event where their wonderful culinary treats are praised, they are motivated. They are motivated to succeed and attempt new things. This translates to striving for success both vocationally and academically. Lakeland-Andover’s academic, vocational and community-based instruction program prepares students for a successful transition to a world of opportunity.

Mary Help of Christians Academy 659 Belmont Ave., North Haledon 973-790-6200 maryhelp.org

Mary Help of Christians Academy is a highly rated, private, Catholic preparatory school for young women in grades 8-12. With a student teacher ratio of 5 to 1, MHC Academy is recognized for its rigorous and comprehensive college preparatory programs, innovative faculty, competitive sports 50

teams, state-of-the-art facilities, and faith-filled Salesian family environment. Even in the midst of the COVID pandemic, the Academy was able to adapt to the changing needs of its students offering both virtual and in-person instruction in a clean, safe environment. MHC Academy’s small size guarantees individualized attention for each student to develop her gifts and grow in self-confidence and maturity. Come see for yourself what a difference a Mary Help education makes. Register now for a visit. In-person Open Houses are scheduled for Sunday, September 26th and October 24th. maryhelp.org/ohreg/

Balanced with a commitment to experiential learning and social-emotional development, those programs provide a robust learning experience that engages each student. Highlights of the beautiful 22-acre campus include the Center for Innovation & Design, the 25,000 square-foot Math & Science Center, a 630-seat performing arts theater, premier athletic facilities, and Science On a Sphere®, a global display system developed by NOAA that uses computers and video projectors to display planetary data onto a six-foot diameter sphere.

Montclair Kimberley Academy

3 Ryerson Ave., Caldwell 973-226-0660 msdacademy.org

201 Valley Rd., Montclair 973-509-7930 mka.org

At MKA, no two students are the same. They are inquisitive thinkers and insightful doers, diverse individuals and enthusiastic members of a warm community. From their littlest learners to the almostadult scholars, students at MKA go beyond answers. Curious to learn more? Attend an upcoming MKA open house event. For more information, visit mka. org/admissions or contact the office of admissions at admissions@mka.org or by phone 973-509-7930.

Morristown-Beard School 70 Whippany Rd., Morristown 973-539-3032 mbs.net

Morristown-Beard School is an independent, coeducational day school with students in the Middle School (grades 6-8) and Upper School (grades 9-12) representing more than 85 districts throughout New Jersey. Every student is empowered to discover an intellectual pathway that excites and inspires them. Signature academic programs in Middle and Upper School offer students a wide range of options for learning as well as the support and structure needed to succeed in their individual academic journeys.

Mount St. Dominic Academy

Mount St. Dominic Academy is a college preparatory school for young women. Established in 1892, the Mount remains rooted in the Dominican traditions of our history and dedicated to the modern realization of our mission: to help our students discover their gifts and talents, with the expectation that they will use them to make the world a better place. Our students learn and develop in an environment that fosters excellence, respect, appreciation and integrity. An education at the Mount reflects the Four Pillars of Dominican life–study, prayer, mission and community–as the foundation for a successful and meaningful future. An education at the Mount is a journey of continuing growth. An education at the Mount is an investment in your daughter’s future.

Newark Academy

91 South Orange Ave., Livingston 973-992-7000 newarka.edu Newark Academy’s enduring purpose has been empowering academic achievement and instilling intellectual energy into our students since 1774. Located on a beautiful 68-acre campus in northern New Jersey, NA strives to provide students with the knowledge, skills and creativity needed to contribute meaningfully to their communities and the world. Today, Newark Academy is reimagining the educational rigor for which we are known. By engaging our 6th through 12th grade students in transformational learning experiences, our students become accomplished scholars instilled with a passion for learning. While Newark Academy has undergone a myriad of changes over the past 247 years, NA’s mission “to contribute to the world engaged individuals instilled with a passion for learning, a standard of excellence and a generosity of spirit” remains true. For more information, visit newarka.edu.

Oak Knoll School of the Holy Child 44 Blackburn Rd., Summit 908-522-8108 oakknoll.org

Oak Knoll School of the Holy Child is a private NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

Private School Previews

VOTED BEST PRIVATE SCHOOL 5 YEARS IN A ROW

All Academy Open House Sunday, October 17 • 1 - 3 pm All Academy Information Session Thursday, December 2 • 9 - 10 am Register for these events at LacordaireAcademy.com or call Admissions at 973-744-1156 x 12 155 LORRAINE AVENUE • UPPER MONTCLAIR

UPPER SCHOOL • ALL WOMEN 9-12 • LOWER/MIDDLE SCHOOL • COED PREK-8 SPONSORED BY THE SISTERS OF SAINT DOMINIC OF CALDWELL OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

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Private School Previews

Paramus Catholic High School

425 Paramus Rd., Paramus 201-445-4466 paramuscatholic.com Faith, academics and security are the hallmarks of a Paramus Catholic education. The world today is wonderfully diverse. PC mirrors that world. Through its academic offerings and extracurricular activities, clubs, and sports, PC readies the 21st century student for his or her life’s journey. Paramus Catholic High School is located on 27 acres in Paramus, NJ. The curriculum offers 140 courses with 33 honors courses and 21 AP courses. PC offers a state-of-the-art music conservatory and a digital photography, CAD/CAM computer lab. The thriving ministry and service programs continually give back to the community. Paramus Catholic continues to maintain its firm commitment to the arts and is the only Catholic school in Northern New Jersey with a marching band. Paramus Catholic will have an Open House Wed., October 27, 2021; 6:30-8 pm. Please visit our website for more information. paramuscatholic.com

Ranney School

235 Hope Rd., Tinton Falls 732-542-4777 ranneyschool.org At Ranney School, we know and value every child to inspire and challenge our students to reach their highest personal potential at every stage of their educational journey. Ranney is an age 3 through grade 12 independent, coed, secular college preparatory school in Monmouth County, NJ. From our youngest learners to those looking ahead to college, Ranney students are prepared, supported, challenged and encouraged as individuals. Ranney offers an innovative, flexible curriculum that balances excellence in traditional subjects while fostering

with the knowledge and confidence to succeed within higher education. Students are recognized for their academic achievements. Students receive multiple scholarships and attend top colleges and universities armed with the comprehensive education that the school provides. Historically, 100% of graduating students enter 4-year colleges and universities. Villa Walsh Academy students are women of integrity with a deep moral value and a commitment to service grounded in the Catholic faith. creative, out-of-the-box thinking. Ranney offers a robust student life program that encourages students to pursue not just one, but many interests while at Ranney School. Relationships are the hallmark of a Ranney education. In every division, students are supported by a team of educators who collaborate to nurture academic and extracurricular success as well as personal growth.

Saddle River Day School

147 Chestnut Ridge Rd., Saddle River 201-327-4050, ext. 1108 saddleriverday.org Saddle River Day is a coed, college prep day school enrolling 375+ students in grades PreK3-12. Students experience integrated and applied learning in a hands-on rigorous academic setting with a low student-teacher ratio. Under the leadership of Head Jalaj Desai, SRDS recently launched a number of new programs; a Capstone Research Project for Middle School (grades 5-8), an Upper School Honors Diploma Program that combines independent study with a rigorous academic program. The school offers 19 AP courses, including two new ones in Psychology and Human Geography. The NJAIS accredited school boasts pristine facilities including a Center for Innovation & Entrepreneurship and a fully equipped graphic design center & MakerSpace. Instruction in Spanish and exploratory science in a lab setting begin in PreK. The school boasts award-winning performing/visual arts and outstanding athletics. Graduates are prepared for entry to some of the nation’s most selective colleges such as Columbia, NYU, Stanford, Syracuse and Tufts.

Villa Walsh Academy

455 Western Ave., Morristown 973-538-3680 VWA@villawalsh.org Villa Walsh Academy, conducted by the Religious Teachers Filippini, is a college preparatory Catholic school for girls in Grades 7 through 12. Located on a beautiful 120-acre campus in Morristown, Villa Walsh offers an exceptional learning experience through a rigorous academic curriculum and diverse offerings of extracurricular activities for young women. The Athletic Department provides student athletes with opportunities to participate in a variety of successful programs. We pride ourselves on preparing students

The Wardlaw + Hartridge School 1295 Inman Ave., Edison 908-754-1882, whschool.org

The Wardlaw + Hartridge School is a coeducational, college preparatory day school with students in early childhood through grade 12. The campus is located on 36 wooded acres at the conjunction of Middlesex, Union and Somerset counties. With an early childhood program that offers hands-on experiential learning, to an Upper School with rich academic offerings, the school is large enough to offer 19 advanced placement classes for high school students, but small enough to provide an intimate learning environment for everyone. The campus houses state-of-the-art STEM labs, three art studios, the Snowdon Library with a Center for Global Learning and video conferencing center, a television studio, outdoor classroom, two gymnasiums, a 25-yard swimming pool, tennis courts and two new athletic turf fields. The school truly embodies its six core values: integrity, opportunity, support, diversity, community and sustainability. As the school celebrates its 139th year, we invite you to learn more.

Winston Preparatory School* 901 State Rte. 10, Whippany 973-500-6480 winstonprep.edu

Winston Preparatory School (Winston Prep) is a leading school network for students with learning differences, including dyslexia, ADHD, and non verbal learning difficulties (NVLD). Winston Prep Whippany, NJ offers students with learning differences a highly individualized, holistic, and responsive education. Our unique model serves students grades 4-12. At Winston Prep, faculty carry out ongoing, in-depth assessments to cultivate a deep understanding of students, helping them to advance at a meaningful pace and giving them the tools to continue independently learning and growing. All of our campuses provide intense skill remediation while fostering independence, resilience, responsibility, and self-awareness. Come to an open house and learn more about our educational philosophy and tour our school. Visit winstonprep.edu or contact Meredith Fisher, Admissions Director, at mfisher@ winstonprep.edu.

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

Catholic school dedicated to the education of the whole child. The atmosphere is known for a spirit of joy, mutual respect and trust. The school welcomes religious, racial and ethnic diversity. A Lower School is offered for boys and girls in grades PK-6 and an all-girls’ Upper School is offered in grades 7-12. Lower School boys attend the area’s finest secondary schools while alumnae of the Upper School enroll at the most selective universities. Oak Knoll’s courses and activities maintain a healthy balance of academic, athletic, social, creative and moral development while fostering mind, body and spirit. The distinguished Upper School curriculum includes 17 AP and honors classes ranging from Italian to honors engineering. Oak Knoll offers extensive technology resources, including a 1:1 device program, a fully-networked wireless campus, virtual and augmented reality and the latest interactive teaching tools.

Where

magic happens every day.

In-Person Information Sessions Lower School – Tuesday, Oct. 12 Middle & Upper School – Thursday, Oct. 14 Lower School – Thursday, Nov. 18

Middle & Upper School – Tuesday, Nov. 16 Lower School – Tuesday, Dec. 7 Middle & Upper School – Thursday, Dec. 9

See for yourself. Visit gsbschool.org/visit-us Gladstone, NJ • Preschool – Grade 12 Gill St. Bernard’s is an independent, nonsectarian, coeducational, college preparatory day school.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

Hackettstown • Flemington • Middletown • Woodbridge • Denville • Millburn • Morristown • Sparta • West Orange • Newton • Fair Lawn • Paterson • Jefferson

PLACES TO GO

CANCER TO BEAT SCHEDULE YOUR 3D MAMMOGRAM

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

Me Time

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO LOWER YOUR BREAST CANCER RISK By Arricca Elin SanSone

hile you can’t change certain risk factors for developing breast cancer, such as getting older or having a family history, there are a few ways to reduce your risk. “You can add years to your life with a healthy lifestyle,” says M. Michele Blackwood, MD, chief of Section of Breast Surgery at Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey and medical director and northern regional director of Breast Services for RWJBarnabas Health. “All the things that are good for you in general, such as not smoking, are also helpful for lowering risk.” Here’s what else you need to know about lessening your breast cancer risk:

UNDERSTAND YOUR PERSONAL RISK “Having a family history of breast cancer does increase your risk, but about 90 percent of breast cancer occurs in women who have no family history,” says Blackwood. That’s why it’s so important to understand your individual situation. Personal factors which increase risk include being overweight, having dense breast tissue (which is identified through screening mammography), starting your period before age 12, never having kids, and taking HRT for menopause symptoms.

GET AN ASSESSMENT “No matter what your age, take charge of your own healthcare,” says Ryan Allen Gruner, MD, breast surgeon and assistant professor of surgery, and associate program director of the Breast Surgical Oncological Fellowship at MD Anderson Cancer Center at Cooper University Health Care. “Every woman in her mid-20s and older should have a formal risk assessment to help guide us about what kind of screenings you should have and when to start them, as well as whether you would benefit from genetic counseling.” Ask your primary care physician or GYN for a referral to a breast clinic or breast surgeon for a formal risk assessment so you and your doctor can determine a screening plan that’s best for you.

KEEP UP WITH ANNUAL SCREENING EXAMS The current recommendation is that for women of average risk to get screened every year. “If there’s one thing I want to

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

emphasize it’s that women should get mammograms every year after age 40,” says Gruner. “If you put off your annual screening because of COVID, make an appointment today. Yearly screenings have been shown to catch cancer in its earliest stages and to save lives.”

ASK IF YOU NEED SUPPLEMENTAL SCREENING EXAMS Besides annual mammograms, some women, such as those with dense breasts, can benefit from having other tests as well. “Ultrasound is another option in addition to mammography which adds about 5 to 8 percent more knowledge about your breast tissue,” says Blackwood. “This is important because dense breast tissue is an independent risk factor for breast cancer.” Some women may benefit from having an MRI, too, which provides about 30 to 50 percent more information.

MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT Yes, we know how difficult it is to lose weight. But even a 5 or 10-pound weight loss can reduce risk if you’re overweight. If you’re struggling to do it on your own, ask your primary care doctor or GYN for a referral to a weight loss medical professional.

GET MOVING Studies show that moderate to vigorous activity is linked with lower breast cancer risk; moderate means anything that makes you breathe hard, while vigorous means anything that causes increased heart and breathing rates. “The goal is to do sustained exercise for a half hour three to five times a week,” says Blackwood. “But all movement counts, including walking, dancing, even vacuuming.”

STOP SMOKING Research has shown that smoking is associated with a greater risk of developing breast cancer—one study said there is up to 24 percent increase in current smokers and 13 percent increase in former smokers. “I take a hard stand on this,” says Gruner. “Zero cigarettes are what’s okay. Any type of tobacco

use, including vaping, increases breast cancer risk.” If you need help, talk to your doctor about what you can do to kick the habit.

DRINK IN MODERATION Like most things, too much of anything isn’t good. But even small amounts of alcohol—yes, even wine!—may increase risk. Although no alcohol is best for breast health, if you do drink, limit it to three or four drinks per week, says Blackwood.

LIMIT POSTMENOPAUSAL HRT Combination hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may also

increase the risk of breast cancer. If the benefits of HRT, such as calming frequent hot flashes, outweigh the risks, use the lowest dose that works for the shortest time possible.

FOCUS ON POSITIVE OUTCOMES Breast cancer research has come a long way in recent decades. “No one wants to hear the word ‘cancer,’” says Blackwood. “But we have made incredible strides in the past 25 years in survival rates, with better imaging, better diagnostic and surgical techniques and better medications. Most of the time, breast cancer is treatable and curable.”

Me Time

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

™

GET CONNECTED WITH YOUR COMMUNITY Welcome to Our Neighborhood (WTON) invites you to explore and support the many local businesses in your community.

Join Our Team We are recruiting Community Representatives. Turn your community connections into a business. Learn more about our organization, visit: wtonnj.com Proud to be a distribution partner for NJ Family magazines.

OCTOBER

Weekends through October 24

Fall Festival

Every weekend in October

Pick your own pumpkin and try your luck in the corn maze at Snyder’s Farm in Somerset. The farm doesn’t accept credit cards, so bring cash, especially if you want to add on corn cannons. Go to snyders-farm.com for info.

Fall Family Fun Weekends

Go apple and pumpkin picking at Terhune Orchards in Princeton. Fall weekends at the farm are also filled with pony rides, pedal tractors and a hay bale maze along with the Adventure Barn storybook adventure. Go to terhuneorchards. com for more info.

Every weekend in October

The Great Pumpkin Train Delaware River Railroad Excursions run several 90-minute train trips daily, taking you and your family to a pumpkin patch where they’ll get to pick the perfect pumpkin. You can also add a corn maze experience. Head to 877trainride.com to book tickets.

Weekends through November 7

Great Pumpkin Festival Heaven Hill Farm in Vernon hosts its festival weekends all month, with 40+ fall activities like carnival rides, paintball, apple cannons, magic shows and a corn maze. Go to heavenhillfarm.com for more info.

October 31

Pumpkin Pancake Breakfast

Take a hayride to Harvest Hall for a breakfast buffet at Alstede Farms in Chester. Tickets get you access to the pumpkin patch. Go to alstedefarms.com for tickets. October 6 -10

The Amazing Pumpkin Carve

This drive-thru experience will take you to Hopewell Township’s Woolsey Park to see colossal pumpkins carved and electrified by local artists. Visit hvartscouncil.org for more info and tickets.

NJFAMILY.COM | OCTOBER 2021

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: TERHUNE ORCHARDS / ©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM: SOLSTOCK / ALSTEDE FARM / ©ISTOCKPHOTO.COM: KUZIKI / DELAWARE RIVER RAILROAD EXCURSIONS

Aside from spooky haunts, fall’s all about festivals, pumpkin and apple picking and corn maze fun on the farm.

Don’t forge t! For more events near you or to add your own, go to

njfamily.com/calendar All events are subject to cancellation so call ahead before heading out.

October 2-3

LBI Chowderfest Beach Haven is hosting this two-day festival filled with live music, food and brews, and the announcement of the Chowder Month champion. Visit chowderfest.com for more information.

October 9

Oktoberfest This family-friendly festival at Turkey Brook Park in Budd Lake has food, games, shopping and, of course, beer. Hop a hayride, watch traditional dancing and stay for the evening fireworks. Go to mountolivetwpnj.org for more info. October 16

Turtle Back on Tap

Looking for a date night at the zoo? This adults-only event has wine and spirit tastings and great eats. Feel good knowing funds from ticket sales support the Essex County parks. Visit the turtlebackzoo. com for tickets.

OCTOBER 2021 | NEW JERSEY FAMILY

October 1-3, 8-10

Oktoberfest

Morey’s Piers in Wildwood will celebrate Oktoberfest for several weekends, with special ride wristbands for the kids, plus loads of German foods (like schnitzel!). Musical performances and a “Rootbier Garten” make this fun for all ages. Visit moreyspiers.com for more info.

October 30

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 in Concert

Take your little wizards to NJPAC to see one of the series’ final installments on the big-screen, accompanied by the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra playing the full film score. Go to njpac.com for tickets.

Where

fun takes

t h g i Fl Welcome to the ultimate indoor adventure park! With attractions that cater to any level of adventurer, there’s something fun for everyone. Here your mini warriors can conquer obstacles, show gravity who’s boss and have a blast any day of the week. Let ‘em fly during open play or take their next birthday party to new heights at Urban Air Adventure Park!

Open Daily for Open Play and Birthday Parties! Call for Info! South Hackensack 69 Wesley Street, South Hackensack

201-212-6454

Avenel

1600 Saint Georges Avenue, Avenel

732-640-8847

Milltown 396 Ryders Lane, Ryders Crossing Shopping Center, Milltown

732-286-1994