eco tip

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How to Dispose of Antiviral Wear Discarded face masks and gloves littering streets, beaches, parks and parking lots are a sad sight of the times, creat ing eyesores and more importantly, major contamination risks to pick up and discard. With 88 percent of the world’s population living in countries that have required or advised use of face coverings, disposable face masks number in the billions, especially the commonplace, single-use polypro pylene variety. Along with disposable gloves and sanitary wipes, they are clogging sewers and waterways worldwide and showing up in fish bellies and on ocean floors.

Recycling, the go-to strategy for environmentally conscious citizens, is unfortunately not a good option. Even in ordinary times, local recyclers won’t accept surgical masks and latex gloves because they jam machinery. Some ded icated providers box up used face masks and gloves and send them to TerraCycle.com, where they are sorted man ually and sustainably recycled. The cost for a small box is a hefty $148; MindBodyGreen.com suggests asking grocery stores or retailers to stock some for the community to use.

Instead of recycling, the World Health Organization recommends throwing single-use masks, gloves and wipes into a covered trash can or bin immediately after use so they are handled as regular trash. Ideally, they should be put in a resealable plastic bag first in consideration of frontline sanitation workers that can become ill from handling virus-infected materials. No mask, glove or wipe should be flushed down a toilet.

For masks, the eco-solution that harbors the lowest carbon dioxide footprint is one made of cloth that is machine-washed and dried after each use at a high temperature or washed by hand in a bleach solution (five tablespoons per gallon of water). University of Chicago researchers found certain fabrics filter out viral aerosol particles almost as effectively as the medical N-95 mask: a layer of a tightly woven cotton sheet combined with two layers of polyester-spandex chiffon, natural silk or flannel, or simply a cotton quilt with cotton-polyester batting . See cdc.gov for instructions for using sew and no-sew masks, and many DIY videos can be found on YouTube using T-shirts, socks and napkins.

Another good eco-strategy is to buy sustainable face masks made from recycled or organic materials (GoodOnYou.eco). In lieu of recycling to help the planet, a donation can be made to an eco-organization that deals with plastic waste, such as PlasticPollutionCoalition.org or OceanConservancy.org.

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As the pandemic ravages our country, we are engulfed by a sea of challenging emotions, including fear, loss, anger, disappointment and grief. Compounding the suffering, past emotional traumas and pent-up desires are surfacing and crying for attention. One way to navigate these treacherous waters is by first enveloping ourselves in self-compassion. Next, we can gather the courage to face our fears and experience unpleasant feelings in order to heal them and let them go. Then, we search for and internalize positive emotional states to rewire our brains for positivity. This noble voyage promises immense rewards along the way.

by Sandra Yeyati

Some of us chase self-esteem like the Holy Grail, yet it eludes us when we need it most. Faced with a failing grade or cruel insult, our self-worth withers. We can’t understand why we lost it or how to get it back. When we attach our self-worth to achievements or comparisons with other people, self-esteem becomes unstable and unreliable.

Enter self-compassion, the life-changing perspective of showing kindness to ourselves in any and all situations—a supportive best friend that lives within us and can be accessed any time, every day. A pioneer and expert in this topic, Kristin Neff believes that self-compassion has three components: a decision to be kind to ourselves, a mindful awareness when we are in pain so that we can seek some relief and a sense of common humanity or connectedness.

We already know how to be compassionate, says Neff, an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and co-author of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook. “It’s linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a natural part of our organism. We’re tapping into this way of feeling safe, which is through care, bonding and connectedness.”

Encouraging our friends when they’re feeling down or hugging our moms in the

morning is hardwired into us. When we decide to be kind to ourselves, it’s easy to think of what we would say: “I’m sorry you failed that test. You’ll do better next time. How can I help you?” To lend perspective, add a statement about our common humanity, counsels Neff. “This is hard for everybody. You’re not alone.”

We must be aware of our pain before we can comfort it, and many of us try to suppress or resist pain, choosing to numb it with distractions like alcohol addiction or compulsive shopping. Others may get lost in the storyline of what’s happening and succumb to suffering with no apparent way to obtain relief. Self-pity or self-criticism may creep in.

Mindful awareness is the antidote to these emotional extremes, because it helps us become aware that we are experiencing pain and to stay with that pain long enough to make a conscious decision to take care of ourselves. “One easy thing is physical touch,” says Neff. “The first few years of life you have no words, so the body is programmed to respond to touch as a signal of care. Put your hand on your heart or your stomach, or hold your hand. This changes your physiology, activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helps you calm down and helps you feel physically supported. Sometimes, that’s an entryway for people.”

Nobody likes to feel sad or embarrassed. We’d rather have an ice cream cone or turn on the TV. But for Dr. Joan Rosenberg, a prominent psychologist and speaker, uncomfortable feelings present an invaluable opportunity for people to transform into confident individuals that relate to the world around them with authenticity and resilience.

In her book 90 Seconds to a Life You Love, Rosenberg offers a formula—one choice, eight feelings, 90 seconds—to experience and move through eight of the most common unpleasant feelings: sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrass

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ment, disappointment, frustration and vulnerability.

“The choice is to stay aware of and in touch with as much of your moment-to-moment experience as possible and not get lost in avoidance,” she explains, adding that there are more than 30 behaviors, thoughts and emotions that we employ as distractions, including substance abuse, social media, pornography, exercise, obsessive thoughts about body image, humor and denial.

“Be aware of what you’re aware of,” she advises. “If we know that we don’t like feelings, and we know we’ve been engaged in using ways to distract ourselves, then our challenge is to be more awake and aware of those times we do it, and as soon as we start to do the thing and become aware, that’s when we make the decision to stop and ask, ‘What’s really going on?’”

Discoveries in neuroscience suggest that most of us come to know what we’re feeling emotionally through bodily sensations. We might feel heat in the neck and face when embarrassed or a sinking feeling in the chest when disappointed. As feelings get triggered in the body, a rush of biochemicals in the bloodstream activate these sensations and are flushed out of the bloodstream in roughly 90 seconds.

“Most people have the impression that feelings linger a whole lot longer and that they’re going to be overwhelmed by it and never come out of it if they start. But when they understand that what they’re trying to avoid are uncomfortable bodily sensations that help you know what you’re feeling emotionally, and that these are short-lived, most people will start to lean into them, and once they do, their life changes,” Rosenberg says.

To move through bodily sensations, which may come in multiple waves, take deep, slow breaths. Try not to tighten up or clench the jaw and swallow. Notice the location and nature of the bodily sensations to help identify which of the eight unpleasant feelings it might be, and be curious as to what might have triggered it. All of this will take a few moments. With practice, identification will become faster, easier and more accurate.

Making Courage a Habit In her book The Courage Habit, life coach Kate Swoboda presents a four-part method for people to face their fears, release the past and live their most courageous life. Access the body. Practice any body-centric activity like mindfulmeditation, exercise or dancing every single day to release stress and anxiety, become centered and more present, and clear the mind. Listen without attachment. When your self-critic offers a warning or criticism, hear the words, understanding that this is fear trying to protect you and deciding that it’s misguided and not true.

Amend your internalized self-critic’s messages to be more respectful and supportive. If it says, “You’re stupid to try that,” revise it to, “I’m smart because I’m willing to try.” Create community. Reach out to like-minded individuals that are supportive of the changes you are trying to make.

“If I have more time, then I can think about whether this is connected to anything else. Is it just one thing that triggered it, or is it like something else that’s happened before?” Rosenberg says. This level of awareness leads to a calming effect, clearer thinking, improved decision making and, perhaps most importantly, an ability to speak authentically. supAVADEE/AdobeStock.com “If we don’t handle the eight feelings, we don’t feel capable in the world,” she says. The ability to speak adds to that empowerment. “From asking someone to stop a behavior so that you feel safer to telling someone you love them, asking your boss for a raise or letting people know about yourself and your work to garner opportunities and desired experiences—it cuts across every aspect of our lives and is absolutely crucial to our sense of well-being.”

Discoveries in neuroplasticity have revealed that the brain changes throughout life well into adulthood. It’s designed to learn not just ideas and information, but skills, attitudes, feelings and moods. Rick Hanson, a clinical psychologist and author of several books, including Hardwiring Happiness and Resilient, contends that we can develop greater happiness, just like we can develop greater depression.

“There’s a lot of research that shows that through deliberate little practices spread out through the day or sometimes more formal practices like psychotherapy or meditation, we can actually produce physical changes in the brain that are now measurable with things like MRIs,” he remarks.

Hardwiring happiness is easy, pleasurable and doesn’t take a lot of time. “If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves,” says Hanson. “Little steps gradually move us forward a breath at a time, a minute at a time, a synapse at a time. Bit by bit, we grow the good inside while gradually releasing the bad.”

These exercises are recommended by psychologist Rick Hanson: Slow down, breathe and see the big picture. This simple practice brings us into the present moment, reduces the stress activation in the body, disengages us from verbal chatter and negative reactivity, and buys us time to see more clearly. Take three breaths, making the exhalation longer than the inhalation. Five-Minute Challenge Take in the good. It could be a flower blooming, birds singing or a nice exchange with another person. Slow down, take a few breaths and let it sink in for a minute or two. Focus on something to cultivate. Perhaps it’s patience or gratitude. Look for opportunities to have an experience of this quality and internalize it for another minute. Marinate in pleasant feelings. Cultivate a sense of calm, contentment or warm-heartedness for a couple of minutes.

“Our power to positively influence who we are in small, genuine ways every day is really important to compensate for the brain’s negativity bias, which makes it like Velcro for bad experiences, but Teflon for good ones,” he says. “We evolved a negativity bias over the 600-million-year evolution of the nervous system. Learning from negative experiences and mistakes was a critical survival skill, so we have a brain that is designed to scan for bad news, overreact to it and fast-track it into memory. It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with it by first, feeling the negative without reinforcing it and second, focusing on the positive and taking it in. Gradually, you can give yourself a brain that’s like Velcro for the good and Teflon for the bad.”

Sandra Yeyati, J.D., is a professional writer. Reach her at SandraYeyati@gmail.com.

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by Paige Dest

Sitting in my doctors’ office, I had no as “emotional intelligence” (EI), and that I real idea both of us were about to have ly believed this would make a difference in my a most pivotal moment. She put my overall well-being—physically, mentally and face in her hands and said, “You just look spiritually. so pathetic.” I had lost so much weight that Three months later, I sat—at a healthy I was practically a walking bone. It was so weight range—waiting for her to enter the very frustrating that no matter how much I examination room. “Wow,” she exclaimed, “I ate, I couldn’t seem to gain weight. thought we were going to lose you three months

What brought me to this point was ago, and now, you’re a healthy and balanced stress –from work and from life. I had made woman. You’ve opened me up to the difference it through two separate biopsies for breast emotional intelligence can make for someone.” cancer (both of which, thankfully, had come I had been convinced by my personal growth back negative), graduated with honors from through EI coaching and by seeing the amazing a Master’s level program at the University positive results in my total well-being; and she of Pennsylvania and excelled professionally, had been convinced, too. only to be left with so much stress that it was Emotions affect every element of our beginning to take a toll on me physically. And being. So it stands to reason that learning though I knew my body well enough to know skills that help us use emotions as informathat the weight loss was due to stress, I was tion, guiding our thoughts and behavior, beginning to get nervous because no matter can truly impact each of those elements how much I ate, I wouldn’t gain. and change our lives.

After much testing, it was determined Most of us have heard of EI (somethat I was, to quote my doctor, “healthy as a times called “emotional quotient” or EQ), horse”. She told me to eat cupcakes for breakand many of us may have a deep underfast, pies for lunch and cake for dinner—whatstanding of it, but practicing EI skills ever it took to gain weight. I reminded her I is a daily commitment. It’s a process of thought my weight loss was due to stress. I also accepting your emotions for what they told her all I knew about a set of skills known truly are—chemicals in the brain and body that create synapses moving through the instinctual brain into the limbic system, enticing the amygdala and ultimately influencing our thoughts and behaviors. In the simplest sense, they are information.

In fact, these chemicals only last about four to seven seconds. But the emotion affects your physiology and thoughts and vice versa, creating a feedback loop leading to “emotional hijack”, which can last a lot longer than that! You know the feeling—when you can’t seem to get past a particular emotion, driving thoughts and behaviors you may regret later. Within that small window of time, less than eight seconds, you can stop the potential for hijack and choose better thoughts and actions.

The first step is breathing deeply and slowly a few times, through your nose. This will slow down your body’s reaction to the emotion, slowing your heart rate, increasing your blood flow and allowing more blood to the cognitive part of your brain, permitting it work more efficiently. The next step is to name your emotion and focus on what it may be telling you. Why are you really feeling this emotion? It’s not based on the actions of another, though that may be its trigger. The emotion itself is telling you something about how you perceive your environment. Being aware of the specific emotion gives you more control over it and begins to put your cognitive brain to use. Even if you start by naming a general emotion (such as mad, sad, glad, scared or disgusted), you will begin to feel more control over the emotion. And reflecting on the information it gives you (why you are feeling that particular emotion) can help you determine the best next step: the step of choosing who and how you will be—choos ing your thoughts and actions.

It may sound simple, but try it when you’re in the heat of an intense emotional moment, and it can seem impossible. Luckily, you know better—it IS possible, and it takes less than eight seconds. Practice sitting with a heightened emotion and then try to bring the emotion down, by breathing, naming the emotion and listening to what the feeling is really telling you. If you practice this daily in a safe, quiet space, you’ll

begin to realize that when that moment of hijack comes, you’re ready to take charge of your emotions and make a better choice based on this information. You’ll find that the emotion dissipates more quickly; and the more you do it, the easier it will become.

You may still experience hijack; after all, it’s a chemical reaction. But you have the power to slow down and even stop the hijack. Practice each day and before you know it, you will have increased your well-being— and it took less than eight seconds!

Paige Dest is a certified emotional intelligence coach and Core Values Index practitioner and the owner of BYODestiny—through which she provides emotional intelligence coaching to individuals and presents retreats, workshops and national webinars on emotional intelligence and happiness topics. She is also the founder of The Flutter Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit that supports programs which give our youth better emotional control. Connect at Paige@BYODestiny.com. Help Children Learn Emotional Intelligence Skills

To celebrate World Children’s Day on November 20, UNICEF and allies in 150+ countries are collaborating to bring more emotional intelligence awareness and resources to children and the adults who support them.

How can you take part? Sign up to host a POPUP festival, a free well-being festival and a hands-on learning experience that you create by printing activity “stations,” gathering simple materials, and inviting people to come together to learn and play. Each host decides which “stations” to print, and they decide how big of a festival to hold. It can be a few people around a kitchen table or a few hundred in a park.

Those interested sign up and receive a free kit with resources, games and decorations for the event. It’s not a “presentation” or a “workshop” — the stations are self-guided, designed for children who can read or adults and children together, or just adults, to explore, talk, play and learn by doing. Organizers will be hosting optional “host trainings” online to answer questions and give support before the festival.

You can host a festival anytime during the month of November. The POP-UP Festival supports the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), which aim to help children grow the skills for a better life and a better world: Grow friendship, reduce conflict. Grow self-awareness, reduce volatility. Grow connections, reduce isolation.

To learn more, or to sign up to host your own POP-UP Festival, visit 6Seconds.org/popup/

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by Uma Bode

There is a massive disconnect for most conditioning.) But if you never move past of us between our authentic self and the fear (if you never get close enough the way we show up in the world; to at least peer beyond it) you will never between what we would like to be doing with discover your real life. You will never reour life and what we actually do, between claim your birthright of joy, fulfillment and what we long for and what we “have”. connection to something deep and lasting.

If you can relate to this, and if you would like to live more authentically in alignBefriend Your Fears ment, then some questions have to be asked: Fear and other emotions that keep us

What to do about it? Is there anytrapped in inauthentic lives are not real. thing that can be done about it? Or is life They are created and kept alive by our minds. supposed to be one disappointment after Yet, even though they don’t actually exist, you another? Is the “rat race” real and is that can’t ignore them. They won’t just go away. the best we can hope for? Absolutely not! Why? Because what you long for is a call from your deeper self, and you are here to answer that call. You Your mind (which, by the way, you think you are, but you are not) will simply keep creating them. came here to planet Earth and took this You can’t use your mind to undo the human form for this very purpose. thoughts that your mind thinks.

Most people never answer it because The only way to get those imaginary fears they have succumbed to the conditioning to go away is to engage with them fully and of fear and confusion that other people come to know them better than they know inadvertently place on them. (Yes, inadthemselves. You must befriend them. This vertently. Accidentally. Out of their own may sound funny when you first hear it. When you look at them clearly and come to understand what they are all about, they begin to diminish in size. As you understand what their function is and why they are with you, they stop being threatening and trying to control you. When you invite them into the light of your awareness and allow them to be listened to and seen, then they cease to have any power over you at all.

You can dismantle the power that fear exerts over you by being nice to it.

The process of befriending your fears is a journey into your authenticity. The real you is waiting behind those fears. No – even more accurately, within those fears.

And, also, remember this: There’s nothing wrong with where you are right now. There’s nothing wrong with you right now.

Nothing needs to be fixed. No time has been lost. Nothing should be different.

Your life, as it is, is your spiritual path. Walk it.

Nothing happens to you, everything happens for you. Everything serves you.

Your journey will be challenging, yes. But fear not (see what I did there?). It’s supposed to be.

This life you’ve got is your own personal hero’s journey. There is nothing small about it, at all. It’s not supposed to be small.

You are immeasurably powerful. Immensely beautiful. Incredibly gifted.

There is absolutely no one you should be comparing yourself to.

You have to unravel all the things you believe about who you are (and aren’t), who other

people are, what the world is, and what God is. You have to deconstruct and release all the “shoulds” and “oughts” that you’ve adopted. You have to begin the dismantling process.

Piece by piece, you will take down the facade that was given to you.

Does that sound scary? Don’t be afraid you will disappear!

Behind every illusion you dismantle, there is an authentic piece of you waiting to be discovered. Brought out lovingly. Dusted off, cleaned, and shared with the world.

This is the real purpose of a human life. The rest is just distraction. This is the real meaning of the phrase from the Bible attributed to Jesus: “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all things shall be added unto you.”

The kingdom of heaven is your authentic being. And once you rediscover it, then all things will be added unto you.

Aha. The big question. HOW DO WE DO THIS?

There are countless ways. They are as unique as a human fingerprint. Your path home is different than anyone else’s.

It is built into your memory and your inner knowing to be able to see your path perfectly as it unfolds before you. Trust the living map of your own life, look to the road in front of you to be shown your next step. Surrender to that step and release any need to know what will happen after that.

This is what it means to trust your process. You can do it. You are meant to be doing it. You are not supposed to be figuring out how to do it. Your mind is not capable of this task. There is nothing to “figure out.”

All that you need is waiting for you within you, just below the surface of your attention. Turn toward it, and all will be revealed. The As you act on what is revealed, then your authentic life begins. Are you ready? Uma Bode offers self-discovery coaching and journeys, tarot readings, photographic iPhone art and classes through her business, The Umaverse. She can be reached at Uma@ TheUmaverse.comor at TheUmaverse.com.

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by Natasha Michaels

The impact of receiving a major the moments shortly after receiving an health diagnosis is among one of unexpected, bleak diagnosis. Maybe you the most stressful events in an inwere fortunate enough to have a caring dividual’s life, comparable to losing a loved and compassionate clinician who took the one or an unwanted job loss. The news is time to explain not just the data but the inevitably followed by a hero’s journey, for meaning behind the words. Perhaps you it must be undertaken alone, no matter were unlucky and received just the facts how others might try to share the burden before you left the office with only a folor provide valuable and necessary support. low-up appointment for a few months later By its very nature, the experience affords or a referral, mind swirling with unasked each affected individual a huge opportuniquestions. It almost doesn’t matter how ty for growth. the news is delivered... you’re left reel

There are few moments in a life so ing, struggling to process as what-ifs run lonely, overwhelming and confusing as through your head.

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Receiving a diagnosis is the start of another journey. It concludes the searching-for-answers process that came before and launches a new phase. It can take conscious and concerted effort to stop the what-if train from derailing in worst case scenarios inside your head. It requires courage and presence of mind to tell yourself, “I have more control over this situation than the doctors know. My body and I will work together; we will thrive beyond the diagnosis.”

There is tremendous power in words; extensive research in neuropsychoimmunology (PNI) has proven beyond a shadow of doubt that our bodies believe what we tell them. Say out loud, “I have at least 30 fulfilling years to live.” Now say, “My life will be shortened by my chronic disease.” Feel the difference? The first sentence is supportive of the intention to survive and participate in life. The second is putting an early end-date on life experience because of a physical condition.

“It’s so easy to fall down the rabbit hole of worry and anxiety after a diagnosis,” says Nicole Miale of Washington Depot. “You start thinking about all the questions you wish you’d asked. As you sift through the reams of information available online, it quickly becomes overwhelming. What you tell yourself during the process and what you let in from others is so critical.”

Miale learned this lesson after returning home from a solo tropical vacation gone awry, during which she suffered a minor stroke. While being incapacitated and alone in an unfamiliar locale was an awful experience, returning home to deal with everyone else’s emotions and plans turned out to be a more difficult phase of her immediate recovery.

“When I was by myself in the ER and then the hotel room, I was terrified and lonely and wished more than anything for a hug from a family member,” she says. “Then I came home and was bombarded by everyone else’s feelings about what had happened to me, as well as their well-meaning attempts to circle the wagons in support. I felt completely overwhelmed, absolutely smothered and really disempowered by my loved ones’ attempts to help me.”

Jen Dawson of Norwalk received her diagnosis of Her2+, ER/ PR+, stage 2 breast cancer at age 48, just after Christmas. Since she expected a call with the test results prior to the holiday, she already expected the news must be bad before the official word was delivered. She met with the surgeon who explained her diagnosis, described the treatment process and her options. Almost every day, she went for tests and met with various doctors, but through it all she desperately sought natural, holistic treatments.

“What was most frustrating was that I couldn’t find a holistic or natural path in the same way that chemo/surgery/radiation was a standard option,” she says now. “I remember feeling numb through most of those appointments and unable to take in all the words they were saying to me. I reached out to a naturopath who advised me to follow the guidance of my oncologist while I continued to see her for acupuncture throughout treatment. But the oncologist wanted me to stop taking my supplements. I could not understand why I should stop taking things that supported my health; that felt wrong to me.”

Dawson contacted her trusted and longtime medical intuitive and nutritionist, who felt strongly that Dawson should not do chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. She also contacted a naturopathic oncologist, and discovered that doctor’s plan revolved mostly around standard treatment. There were many members on her clinical wellness team, but the conflicting advice and opinions made things worse, not better. Social media support groups offered more of the same, as she experienced a herd mentality that ganged up on anyone considering behaving in a way the majority of the group thought to be dangerous or ineffective.

Ultimately Dawson chose to do chemotherapy first, which surprised her. “I’m pretty sure prior to diagnosis I had said I would never do chemo, but I think you just don’t know until you are actually faced with the situation,” she explains.

A few months after starting chemo, she came across Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer. His Square One program consists of 10 modules about nutrition, exercise, detox, eliminating stress and spiritual healing. Dawson appreciated his calming voice and good information, and recommends it to anyone as a great program to start, especially before or just after receiving a cancer diagnosis.

After chemo was finished, Dawson had a lumpectomy and received the best news: the cancer was gone prior to surgery. Continuing the recommended treatment protocol after surgery then felt like overkill, but Dawson followed the advice of the experts. Then she developed a very bad rash that didn’t respond to creams or steroids. Greatly depressed, and with two more treatments left to go, she decided she’d had enough. “They wanted me to do radiation,” she says. “Everything in my body said no, but my oncologist asked me to at least meet with the radiation doctor, so I did. I remember him telling me that no one has ever declined radiation. So I guess I was his first; I never went back. I drew the line.”

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Miale and Dawson agree that the implicit thread of fear winding through medical processes makes it difficult to be sure you’re making clear decisions. Very often the conventional approaches are based on fear of what might happen if you don’t take the recommended steps. But when patients can find a sense of calm and tune into the body’s deepest needs and feelings, and are able to distinguish between what Dawson describes as “what crushed my spirit vs. what lifted me up,” the answers become clearer.

Dawson is now two years post-treatment with no evidence of disease. She says, “I don’t consider myself to be particularly brave or courageous, but this was a bold choice I made. My wish would be that it inspires anyone else to trust in themselves first and foremost.”

Eight months after her stroke, with many medical appointments and testing delayed by COVID-19, Miale is still in the fact-finding process of understanding what happened to her and what needs to be done to prevent a similar event in future. The process, involving seven different physi cians and many diagnostic tests to date, has been grueling and time-consuming, as well as a constant reality check in terms of staying true to herself. One recent visit with a conventional specialist left her reeling, as the physician blithely told her the next step in managing a serious chronic condition was an invasive and potentially life-altering test. When questioned, the clinician couldn’t really explain the rationale behind the test, other than to say she didn’t want Miale to be upset with the physician in ten years when her condition had advanced to a more serious state.

“I was so angry,” Miale says. “This person was predicting my future and telling me which way things would go for me. She doesn’t have that right. I want to work with physicians who support where I want to go, not with folks who assume I’ll be a worst-case scenario statistic. The experience with that specialist was the exact opposite of my PCP, chiropractor

and naturopath; they offered support and concrete options to help me move the needle in a positive way. That’s what I need and want from my wellness team.”

She’s currently seeking a new specialist to consult with who will respect her treatment goals and is continuing on an intensive lifestyle modification journey that began last November immediately after the stroke. She is frustrated to still be lacking clear answers after all this time, but is trusting in the process and counseling herself to have patience with the pace of the journey.

Experts know what they have studied and learned over years of diligent bookwork and patient-care. The only thing you bring to the table is your SELF, which is the most important thing. The experts have never seen YOU before. So accept their advice and information, learn what they can teach you, but know that you—and only you—have the right and responsibility to make tough choices about your own care.

Natasha Michaels is a contributor to Natural Awakenings.