At Milton
Talking It Out in Grade 2
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t can start with a simple misunderstanding over whose turn is next. A child whispers to another and someone feels left out. A ball is grabbed playfully, or not so playfully, and there is foot-stamping outrage. Every day in classrooms, hallways and playgrounds, conflicts big and small play out between children of all ages. Equipping them with the tools to manage these conflicts is an important part of early childhood education, particularly in second grade. “Second grade is a big year, socially,” says Sachiyo Unger, Grade 2 teacher in Milton’s K–8. “The academic piece goes hand in hand with the social element, which is a major part of growth for these 7- and 8-yearolds, as they figure out where they stand. The students have many more words and ways to express themselves, but they don’t know how to deliver their feelings.”
38 Milton Magazine
In Sachiyo’s and Tasha Summers’s classrooms, students gather in an “open circle” once a month to learn skills that will help them deal with conflict. The curriculum is based on the book Talk It Out: Conflict Resolution in the Elementary Classroom. The goal is keeping the children’s conflict between the children. Using the Talk It Out method, a teacher stays emotionally neutral and helps the students figure out, on their own, how to solve conflict. During open circle the two classes meet together, and the children physically sit in a circle facing one another and their teachers. “In the open circles we create an environment that involves cooperation,” says Sachiyo. “The children want to learn about this material, and they are so engaged. We provide a lot of examples and scenarios. To keep the environment safe, students aren’t allowed to use specific names when describing real situations.”
One teacher writes down the children’s thoughts as the other teacher leads the discussion. In a previous session students worked on using “I” statements, and a poster on the wall reminds students what an “I” statement is: I (feeling) when you (specific behavior) because it affects me).
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In today’s session, Sachiyo asks the students how many of them have used “I” statements since they last talked. A few hands shoot up and she calls on one boy to share his example. “I felt bad when you stole my ball because I was playing with it.” “Great, you told the person how you felt and why,” says Sachiyo. “Now what would an example of a ‘You’ statement be in that situation?”