SUMMER / 2018
LIFE, LOVE & MILITARY DEPLOYED DADS
Ava i
le 24/7 lab
PBS KIDS is #1 in preparing kids for success in school and in life
Parents report that TV is one of the top ways they spend time
together as a family
1
PBS KIDS is the best use
of families’ screen time 1
37%
Which media brand do you think is the best use of your family’s screen time?
24%
PBS KIDS
Disney Jr.
12%
11% Sprout
Nick Jr.
2% Cartoon Network
PBS KIDS
Children’s Educational
Media Brand
2
PBS KIDS is #1
in school readiness
How well did/does each of these networks prepare your child for school?
81%
50%
31% 70%
59%
Sprout
35%
35%
64%
PBS KIDS
36% 31%
19% Helps somewhat
28%
Disney Jr.
28%
Nick Jr.
10% 9%
1
KNPB PBS KIDS on Channel 5.3 Also streaming online and on the PBS KIDS Video Apps
knpb.org/knpbpbskids #pbskids247
Cartoon Network
Helps a lot 1.Online survey of 1,004 parents of children ages 2-6. Maru/Matchbox, November 30 - December 15, 2016.
2. Survey of 1,002 adults, 18 years of age and older, who participated via phone. Marketing & Research Resources, Inc. (M&RR), January 3-10, 2017.
I N
T H I S
I S S U E
BUSINESS 06 EASYGO DISPENSER
KEEPSAKE 08 VIRTUAL FATHERHOOD
FAMILY MAKING 10 AND THEN THERE WERE EIGHT 12 FERTILE GROUND: THE BEGGININGS OF A MILITARY FAMILY
SPOTLIGHT 14 LIFE LOVE & MILITARY
PARENTING 18 DEPLOYED DADS 20 HEY VETERANS DID YOU KNOW
On the cover Model: Justin Klatt and Baby Leo Photographer: Richard Stokes Photography
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C O N T R I B U T O R S
KIM S U R R AT T Founder
L E S L I E M C CAR ROLL
P U B L I S H E R
Co-Founder/Publisher
DE BBIE M C CA RTH Y
Co-Founder /Director of Editorial
Editor-in-Chief
N O T E
With the latest advancements in technology, it has become easier for would-be parents to conceive when the traditional method does not yield positive results or is not an option. Between Surrogacy, IVF, egg freezing, Intrauterine Insemination, and egg donation, there are multiple paths towards fulfilling the desire to be a parent. Pregnancy is often a nine-month journey that both partners can experience together, but this becomes a challenge when one parent is deployed. We've come a long way, Baby! Deployment does not have to mean missing out on significant events, thanks to technology like webcams and online nurseries. Spouses who are separated by geography can still witness their child's birth and early moments. Military deployment shouldn’t have to mean missing out on some of the greatest moments we can experience as parents. We honor you and thank you for your service and congratulate you on welcoming your new bundle of joy! Happy 4th of July and enjoy the rest of your summer with your family and friends! Yours Truly, Yours Truly, Leslie McCarroll
FOR ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES PLEASE CALL 775-338-8837 PUBLISHER Leslie McCarroll LAYOUT: Design on Edge
Publisher and Co-Founder/Bliss Babies Magazine Publisher and Founder/Bliss Babe Magazine Leslie@BlissBabe.com
O U R COURTNEY MEREDITH COURTNEY ORCHOWSKI DR. CARRIE BEDIENT MD REPRODUCTIVE SPECIALIST JORJA BENTLEY DAVID BRADFIELD, RENO DADS TRACIE CAMBELL
M EG ST E I N I T Z
DEANA CHRISTY KATIE COOMBS MELISSA EXLINE, ESQ. TINA KIM HO LYNN MARIE KREMERS MIKE MCDOWELL. RENO DADS BRITTON MURDOCK NUNN KATHLEEN & DON HANLEY
T E A M KNPB ERIN MEYERING MIKE MCDOWELL, RENO DADS SHANNON MOORE MEGHAN OCHS DANELL WILSON- PERLMAN JERRINE PLUNKET ASHLEY POLAN
TONY & TRICIA SHELL KATIE SILVA CINNAMON STEINHARDT ALYSSA STARR RICHARD STOKES WHOLE FOODS EMILY REESE KRISTY MCLEAN
Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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BUSINESS
EASY COME EASY GO S AY G O O D B Y E T O F O R M U L A T R O U B L E S By Katie Silva
If you are formula feeding, you know what a pain it can be. The formula comes in a can or a case, which isn’t helpful at all if you’re trying to cram it into your purse or diaper bag. You can pre-make your bottles, but they only stay good for such a short amount of time, so you run the risk of the baby falling asleep and having to toss the bottle – which is a huge deal! And a hungry baby is an unhappy baby. Parents know that no matter how many times you let your baby know that you’re making a bottle as fast as you can, it is never fast enough.
Bottom line: formula is expensive - you don’t want to waste it. The EasyGo Baby formula dispenser is a game-changer for us formula parents. You can store enough formula for a full day in the bottom of the EasyGo baby container, and pre-measure an exact amount in the top funnel for a mess-free experience. Take a few bottles filled with water, and you're set for a day of adventure without having to bring a bulky can of formula. EasyGo Baby is a veteran-owned company, created by three military officers with a combined 53 years of experience. Captain Blake Schroedter has 17 years military service, enlisted as a Sergeant First Class. He is also a Pat Tillman Scholar and received a Bronze Star and an Army Commendation Medal for valor. Sergeant First Class Michael Pett has 20 years of military service and works as an Illinois Army National Guard recruiter and Active Guard. Second Lieutenant Tony Genovese has 16 years of military service and is an Active Guard Infantry Officer. Genovese is Ranger qualified and received a Bronze Star and Army Commendation Medal for valor. Captain Schroedter, Sergeant First Class Pett, and Second Lieutenant Genovese, met while they were serving our country in Iraq. When the trio was deployed they realized that there was no simple way to make a protein shake, which was an important nutritional meal while they were on the go. They decided to create an easy-to-use product that could be utilized by everyone from combat soldiers to newborns. The product launched on Kickstarter in 2012 as a protein dispenser, and in 2014 it shifted to a formula dispenser. The collaborative effort resulted in the EasyGo Baby, which-quickly became aOwner necessity for Mimi Canfield, parents-on-the-go. The EasyGo Baby formula dispenser arms you with enough formula for a day at the beach, a plane ride, or whatever life throws at you. The dispenser is BPA-free, dishwasher safe, compatible with all formulas, and made with high-quality Titan plastic to ensure the materials can withstand even the strongest baby’s throw. The narrow nozzle allows it to be dispensed easily into bottles without worry of spilling. And there’s no need to worry about contamination or unwanted moisture seeping in, as the patented product thoroughly seals. Captain Schroedter, one of the creators of EasyGo Baby, uses the product for his one-year-old daughter. “When we recently traveled to Florida it was a must-have, so we didn't have to keep trying to scoop and measure formula," he said. "We even use it at home for middle of the night feedings. We keep a bottle of water next to our bed, so we don't need to worry about going downstairs to fix a bottle." Parents have enough to worry about, so any device that makes your life easier, and your baby happier, is worth it. EasyGo Baby is the perfect gift for anyone with an infant. When you purchase on www. easygodispenser.com, you’ll receive a 25% discount code for any of their other products.
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Katie Silva is a corporate communications manager and mama to three kids under four years old. She lives in Reno, NV with her kids and her husband Steve, and is fueled by coffee and York Peppermint Patties. She loves books, spending time with her family, fashion, and the occasional nap.
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KEEPSAKE 8
Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
VIRTUAL FATHERHOOD
Connecting Military Parents with Their Newborns By Shannon Moore Photo Credit: Renown
M
ilitary deployments are always a time of stress and sacrifice for any soldier, but it’s especially tough for those who miss the birth of their baby. It’s a heart-wrenching feeling no amount of military training can prepare them for. Fortunately, today’s technology is helping to ease some of that pain. From webcams to secured online nurseries, it’s never been easier to connect an over-seas parent with their sweet bundle of joy. “I can’t imagine how miserable that would be to be in the military, away from your family and not know what’s going on,” said Jessica Bakke, manager of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Reno’s Renown Regional Medical Center. The hospital is one of just eighty-nine in the U.S. equipped with high-tech NicView webcams. Military parents of newborns receiving specialized treatment can log online and see their baby anytime they want. “Day or night, it’s just such a relief for someone to lay eyes on the baby and know they’re ok,” said Bakke. “It also helps with bonding. Even though dad or mom isn’t there to hold and touch the baby, they can monitor his or her progress.” According to a study published in the American Medical Association, “Strong [parent-child] relationships from the start can help counter serious issues such as depression later in life.” Renown launched NicView cameras in April of 2017, thanks to a donation from the Children’s Miracle Network and Costco. “The response has been overwhelmingly positive,” said Bakke. “It’s a feeling of safety, like the next best thing to being there.” Within just two weeks of the cameras being installed, more than four thousand logins were reported, some from as far as the Philippines. Other programs like “United Through Reading,” a San Diego based non-profit, encourages military parents to record themselves reading a book aloud. The book is then mailed back home, so the baby grows up hearing the parent’s voice and never misses out on a bedtime story. Moms and dads can also share a post on social media with a link to a volunteer-based meal service, like “Meals for New Moms.” It’s a way for Mom or Dad to connect with their family and ensure everyone is provided for. “A meal might be something small, but it can make a big impact,” said Jody Shervanick, Coordinator of Operation Boots and Booties. “Many of these spouses are also lonely and miss their husbands or wives. Sometimes when we drop off food we end up staying and chit-chatting for a while.”
Then there are professional photographers, like Becky Hunter of Utah, who took two separate pictures and merged them together to make a gift for a father stationed in Afghanistan. “It appeared as if he was kneeling down beside the baby... I am thankful to have had an opportunity to do something so meaningful for a family that gives so much,” Hunter wrote on her Facebook page. And though it’s tough to miss a family milestone like the birth of a child, it’s obvious in today’s day and age distance is no match for a military parent wanting to experience the joys of parenthood.
Shannon Moore is a bright-eyed and naturally inquisitive writer with a passion for telling stories. She specializes in Public Relations and Communications and has nearly a decade of Television News Experience. She’s a lover of all things local and a firm believer in the power of a good deed. Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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FA M I LY M A K I N G
And Then There Were Eight By Meg Steinitz Photos By Jolene Peterson Cory, Lacee, Jason, Jaxon, Luc .. Madison is sitting on Luc’s lap, Hunter, Miranda
Convention has never been Trish’s style. The single mom of eight joined the Army Guard at age 30, where she served for 20 years. She adopted her children through the foster care system, and they range in age from 3–12. She also owns and operates a successful business, Jump Man Jump.
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Trish spent the first decade of her career working in child development and child care while chipping away at her student loan debt. When she was 30, she enlisted in the Army Guard part-time to help with her student loans. She was surprised to find she loved it and it quickly became her career. She says it was difficult being a woman in the military and that she had to fight and be assertive for each promotion and opportunity. She successfully pursued Officer Candidate School at age 34 after being passed up for promotion to Sergeant and spent several years working as the State Family Program Director, overseeing programs for families when a loved one is deployed. While in the military she honed her skills in logistics, organization, and planning. At the time she had no idea how much this was preparing her for the next phase of life: raising eight children. Her days now consist of juggling multiple busy schedules that include sports and extracurricular activities. Six of her kids are playing football this year; game days often start at 9 a.m. and don’t end until after 10 p.m. She recently came across a quote that sums up her life well, “I live in a madhouse run by a tiny army that I made myself.” She was widowed at a young age when her first husband passed away from cancer. She continued to care for his elderly mother for a year, then suddenly she found herself alone in a big, empty house. She had thought about adopting over the years and felt it was time to pursue it. She became a foster parent and adopted her oldest two sons shortly after. Luc and Jason, now 12 and 11, were four and two when they came to live with her. They had already been in multiple foster homes, and Luc was mistrustful and angry. She involved them in play therapy, which she says helped them to adjust and to attach to her quickly. She met and married her second husband, and together they adopted six more children. At the time she was the owner of a child care facility, which is where she first met two-year-old Cory and 18-month-old
Jaxon, brothers who were in foster care and in need of a forever home. They are now eight and nine and thriving. She feels strongly about the importance of keeping siblings together and says she can sense the unspoken connection between them. Cory and Jaxon’s birth mother had four more children over the next four years, which is how she came to adopt Miranda, Hunter, Lacee, and Madison. The younger siblings range in age from three to seven and joined her family when they were newborns. She communicates openly with her children about their family history to help them understand and make sense of the reasons that they were adopted, and also utilizes post-adoption services that are available through the foster care system. She runs a tight ship at home and is a firm believer that children want and need structure. She teaches them to help with household chores, including cleaning, helping in the yard, and picking up after themselves. She is in the process of teaching the older ones how to do laundry and clean their own bathroom, which has miraculously improved their aim. Trish lost her second husband in 2016 when he had a blood clot following surgery. She is a strong believer in the saying “it takes a village,” and has felt incredibly supported by her close friends and community. She continues to move forward by focusing on her children and the life ahead of them. Meg Steinitz is a San Diego-based freelance writer and social worker who specializes in adoption and foster care. She loves bringing people together. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, photography, and eating cheese.
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FA M I LY M A K I N G
FERTILE GROUND: The Beginnings of a Military Family Dr. Carrie Bedient
For many young military couples, it sounds so simple—love, marriage, babies. While the advent of technology and social progress has wildly expanded the options for couples making their way in the world, those available options may seem overwhelming at times. Regardless of whether a couple is trying the old-fashioned way to make a baby in the bedroom, or if they know they will need advanced technology, the amount of information available can be overwhelming. Add into this the complexities of military assignments, deployments, unusual injuries, and dual military households, and the sheer logistics of planning a family seems insurmountable. As a Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility physician (i.e., an REI or infertility doctor), my entire 15 years of additional education and training ultimately focus on how to make those dreams reality. This includes not only navigation within the world of assisted reproductive technology, but also teaching the basics of the reproductive system so the couples can effectively optimize what they have at their disposal before needing my particular skill set. Despite an intense period of training in boot camp, somehow the lecture on human reproduction—both avoiding it and enhancing it—gets left out. So, here is the mini crash course on how to get knocked up, and some of the not-so-uncommon situations for our servicemen and women.
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How to Get Knocked Up First, the basics. In order to get pregnant, there are four essential elements: sperm, egg, uterus, and tubes. The ovaries must be producing a mature egg each month that travels down the tubes towards the uterus. The tubes must be healthy and open for this process to work. Sperm also needs to be present within the system, traveling up through the uterus into the tubes where it meets the egg and successfully fertilizes. Once the egg and sperm have come together, they are gently pushed down into the uterus by tiny little hairs lining the tubes. Shortly thereafter, the newly formed embryo, the combination of egg and sperm, will implant into the lining of the uterus and nine months later there is no sleep at night! Timing Is Everything In a perfect world where couples are together all the time and have had no injuries to wreak havoc on the reproductive system, this would seem like a fairly easy and obtainable project. It really only takes a few nights of intercourse every other night to ensure that enough sperm will be present to meet up with the egg and create a baby. Ideally, this occurs in the five days preceding ovulation. But the timing of ovulation can be tricky to pin down. Smartphone apps or ovulation predictor kits (which can be purchased at any pharmacy and are as simple as a pregnancy test) can be very helpful in detecting your specific cycle timing. For example, a woman with regular cycles every 28 days, ovulation typically occurs on the 14th day and intercourse should occur in the five days preceding that day. This means days 9-14 are optimal for intercourse. That sounds quite simple, however, with one partner deployed or another working only third shift, that interaction becomes more challenging. Deployment and Family Planning So, what do couples in the military do when they know one is going to be deployed soon? One option is insemination. This is a simple procedure where appropriate timing within the woman’s menstrual cycle is paired with placing sperm inside the uterus. This allows for the sperm to be closer to its ultimate destination, even without stopping to ask directions. The procedure itself is similar to a glorified pelvic exam. It’s nothing you would choose to do for fun on a Saturday night, but it doesn’t hurt either. It’s common that this procedure is combined with oral medication to increase the number of eggs available or to optimize timing of the eggs’ release into the tubes. The advantage of this procedure is that it tends to be easier and less involved than in vitro fertilization. The downside is that it is also much less effective and is less easily controlled than other fertility treatments such as in vitro fertilization. For the couple navigating deployment by the male partner, it is not just the placement of sperm that is the issue, it is the availability as well. Men may choose to freeze their sperm prior to leaving for deployment in order for their partner to use it in the fertility clinic to help create their child. The procedure itself is simple: obtain some blood work to ensure there are no infections
and provide a sperm sample to the clinic. The laboratory will then count the sperm and divide them out into smaller amounts, if possible, for later use during an insemination. When the female partner is planning deployment, the process of egg or embryo freezing is more involved. As is true with most things related to pregnancy, the woman’s testing and treatment are more involved than the man’s. Blood tests, a physical exam, and ultrasound to obtain an egg count are done early in her menstrual cycle to get an accurate picture of the current egg supply. Once she decides to freeze eggs or complete in vitro fertilization, she takes medications daily and has frequent ultrasounds for approximately two weeks to help support egg growth. Once the eggs are larger and more mature, she undergoes a procedure under anesthesia called a retrieval to remove them. At this point, she is done with treatment and either the eggs are frozen (oocyte cryopreservation) or they are combined with sperm to make embryos, which are then frozen. What If? Anytime eggs or sperm are frozen, there is always a “what if ” discussion. This discussion includes signing consent forms permitting his or her partner to use the sperm, eggs, or embryos that have been preserved. It also includes a conversation about how they may be used, or not, should that partner not return home. While this is an awkward and unpleasant part of the conversation, it is a vital piece of information for your doctor to know. That piece of information allows us to follow your wishes regarding who may or may not eventually use your sperm or eggs to make children one day. Many people leave their sperm/eggs/embryos to their partner for use at their discretion, although some do give permission for their parents to use it as well. Alternatively, they may ask for the sperm/eggs/ embryos to be discarded should they no longer be available to take care of a child made from it. There is no “right” decision, just whatever is right for that individual and couple. The more information you can give your doctor and fertility clinic staff about your potential schedule, the easier it is for us to plan treatment with you. I had a lovely dual military couple, Annie* and Jake* who came to me wanting a child together after Jake had a previous vasectomy. Unfortunately, Annie was just completing her basic training period at that time and knew her unit was very likely to be deployed to assist in natural disaster relief within the next month. She was also over 40 years old and waiting an additional six months to start treatment would have had a negative impact on their results due to declining egg quantity and quality. As a result, my clinic and staff were able to bend over backward to condense the testing and treatment in order to obtain both sperm and eggs in a rapid time frame. While I don’t recommend that routinely, it was very successful in ensuring that they had options for future children available upon her return.
For some service couples, the issue is not timing, it is previous injuries incurred in the line of duty or a delay in childbearing related to time spent in the service. The impact of some injuries is obvious: paraplegia or quadriplegia after an explosive injury may make it difficult for the man to easily produce sperm and requires intervention, frequently, a biopsy, to obtain it. Significant exposure to toxic chemicals or radiation may severely decrease the number of eggs or sperm available while also decreasing the quality of those eggs or sperm. Veteran Jonathan* and his wife Erin* came to me needing assistance for a severely impaired sperm count due to prior injury. Jonathan knew that during his service years he was exposed to heavy radiation and was extremely concerned about the impact of that on future children. To mitigate this exposure, we plan to do an egg retrieval on Erin and a testicular biopsy on Jonathan (due to his prior physical injuries) to make the embryos, and then perform advanced genetic testing on the embryos before transferring one to Erin’s uterus. The testing is a sampling of a few cells from the embryo that confirms the correct amount of genetic material prior to transfer. This allows for identification of embryos that have too much or too little genetic material before we ever attempt to get Erin pregnant. While this type of testing, called Preimplantation Genetic Testing – Aneuploidy (PGT-A), is very useful, it does not detect every defect known in medicine. It does, however, give us a much clearer idea of the quality of embryos from a given couple. While many servicewomen and men have families easily and without medical intervention, they do face unique challenges and risks that do not apply to the civilian world. Sometimes only a little help with timing is needed while other times more intense treatment is necessary to combine the building blocks required to start a family. I recommend any couple facing these challenges talk with your local fertility doctor about options available. Knowledge is power, and the earlier the conversation begins, the more options are available. The technology to help these couples is already phenomenal and improving all the time, and it is my pleasure to help these most deserving couples build their families. *Names changed to protect privacy. Dr. Carrie Bedient is Nevada’s only female board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and feels privileged to help men and women reach their full family-building potential. She is dual board certified in both obstetrics and gynecology as well as reproductive endocrinology and infertility. Her areas of interest are improving the safety and efficacy of in vitro fertilization, fertility preservation, and third-party reproduction. Please contact Dr. Bedient for an in office or Skype appointment at (702) 254-1777 to start building your family!
Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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SPOTIGHT 14
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Life, Love, and the Military. By Katie Coombs Photography Richard Stokes Anyone who has had a loved one serve in our Armed Forces knows the many challenges and immense pride that come hand in hand with faithful service to our Country. Justin Klatt joined the Army National Guard in 2009 and was commissioned as an officer in 2011. Justin is 32 years old today but began to experience a feeling of national pride as early as elementary school. He felt that it was part of his civic duty to be a part of the military and decided to go through the ROTC program at the University of Nevada at age 24. Today, he is a National Guardsman on active duty. He is currently the Training Officer for the 422nd Expeditionary Signal Battalion and has attained the rank of Captain. The 422d ESB is responsible for providing robust communications across the globe which includes radio and satellite transmissions and also help with troops communicating with families who are back home. Justin plans to stay in the military for his entire career because he loves working with his soldiers and serving the amazing citizens of Nevada. Justin married the love of his life, Evelyn, in November 2015. He knew she was the one he wanted to spend his life with when he met her. They were aware that Justin would be leaving for a ten-month deployment to East Africa within a few months, but that didn't stop
either of them from wanting to join their lives. They married quietly on the shores of Zephyr Cove surrounded by the love and support of their immediate family. The morning of his deployment in February 2016, they drove up to the mountainside and watched the sunrise together wondering how they would say goodbye. All in all, he spent ten months apart from his bride, navigating their first year of marriage by communicating only through Facetime, letters, and e-mails. Justin tried to write a letter by hand several times a week, and when he came home, he brought every single letter he had received from his wife. He felt her love every time he spoke to her or received a communication. Evelyn also sent care packages to Justin on a regular basis with his favorite things from home, including homemade cookies. The care packages gave him the drive to move forward. Leaving his family and friends and not knowing what life would throw at him over ten months was tough on Justin, but he knew the reality of missing countless birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and so many other important events is part of his duty to country. “Evelyn was my rock, I couldn’t have accomplished my mission without knowing she was taking care of things on the home front,� he said. She supported him in every way both before and during his deployment. Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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SPOTIGHT
He described her as his hero throughout the whole process. Justin feels that the deployments are tougher on the spouses who are left behind. The soldiers are in a new place, focused on their missions while the spouses are home adapting their daily routine without their partner. For many, this means becoming a single parent temporarily. Evelyn kept busy by running the Family Readiness Group, planning activities and using a phone tree to support one another. One of the most difficult parts of the deployment for Evelyn was watching their dog, Dakota, sit at the front door every night waiting for Justin to come home and knowing there was nothing she could say to help her understand that he didn’t abandon her. She knew that she had it easy, compared to the other spouses with young children at home asking for their mothers and fathers. Justin and all of the troops in his battalion returned home the day before Thanksgiving in 2016. When he and one other soldier arrived home around 11:00 p.m., 200 people were still at the airport to greet them. One of those waiting was his love, Evelyn. He finally felt home when he got to hug her and hold her at the airport. Reuniting at the airport felt like seeing her for the first time again and falling in love all over. Transitioning back was difficult at first as he was exhausted from the trip and time change. They had to relearn about each other and get back into their rhythm. They both realized that their relationship could get through anything and that the deployment had made their marriage even stronger. Every soldier experiences a deployment differently. The military helps people transition back and makes sure they reintegrate successfully. There is a helpful program called the Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program, which welcomes National Guard Soldiers back into civilian life and helps them find employment through job fairs while also tackling common issues families face through deployments. The spouse is included in the program to be sure they are both transitioning together. Every soldier coming back from deployment goes through the program. In May 2017, Justin and Evelyn took a belated Honeymoon to London and came back with the best souvenir possible. Nine months later, on February 12th, 2018, that souvenir was born weighing in at 9 pounds, 3 ounces. Baby Leo had arrived. Thankfully, Justin didn’t miss any part of the pregnancy and was there for his birth. They both want more children and try not to worry about the timing, what will happen, or if he will be deployed. He knows he could be deployed at any time and will be ready to go if his Country needs him, but is comforted by his family’s love and support.
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PARENTING 18
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DEPLOYED DAD By David Bradfield, co-founder of Reno Dads
Duty. Honor. Country. Our military service members live by these three words. When they deploy overseas, these words help focus them on the mission. Another word, perhaps not spoken at all, is sacrifice. Every time a service member deploys, they are making sacrifices to defend our nation. This decision truly defines what sacrifice is: giving up something valuable for something of greater value - country, brothers-in-arms, and family.
One Reno father, Tyler Smith, served in the Iowa Army National Guard and deployed to Bagram, Afghanistan. He left behind his wife and eight-month-old son. His story is familiar to many young service members. According to the Department of Defense, there are currently more than two million children that have at least one active-duty parent, the vast majority of which are their fathers. While deployed fathers know they may have to make the ultimate sacrifice, the guaranteed sacrifice is that of their time. Sacred time. Time spent away from their loved ones, missing birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, milestones, and a critical chunk of their family's life. It’s time they can never get back.
Whatever path my sons take in life, I want the same core values that I live by to influence them. My time in the service, including my deployment, exemplify those core values.
"I always felt that my wife and I could work through the separation," recalls Smith. "But being separated from my only child at the time was very hard. Especially when I missed out on all of the ‘firsts' that occurred while I was gone. I will never get back his first birthday, his first steps, and his babbling that transitioned into words." Few things challenge a family quite like a military deployment. The hardship is felt all around, even with a strong support network. For a year, during deployment, family life changed dramatically for Smith and his wife. "My wife had to juggle all of the family responsibilities and work a full-time job all on her own," said Smith. "My wife's support structure not only gave her commonalities with other families, but also allowed her to have an outlet." There were times during deployment when Smith was unable to communicate with his wife, in any way, for weeks on end. It was especially important during these times that she had a support network of families that had been through these experiences before. Even when the deployment ends, the family dynamic for military families doesn’t magically snap into place. "There was a definite growing period that my wife and I had to work through when I returned home," Smith said. "She had become very self- reliant while I was gone, and it took a while to be worked back into the family routine of sharing responsibilities." Smith cherishes his role as father and the opportunity he now has to spend time with his family. He now has two sons and wants them to realize that his time overseas was something that he did willingly and would do again in a heartbeat. “I would want them to know that a man should stand behind what he believes in and should represent all of the things that he finds good in the world,” Smith said. “Whatever path my sons take in life, I want the same core values that I live by to influence them. My time in the service, including my deployment, exemplify those core values.” David Bradfield is co-founder of Reno Dads. He is the father of two boys, husband of 11 years, and a 5th generation Nevadan. Don’t tell anyone, but he’s also a former undercover CIA officer serving in crazy places, like North Africa during Arab Spring.
David Bradfield is co-founder of Reno Dads. He is the father of two boys, husband of 11 years, and a 5th generation Nevadan. Don’t tell anyone, but he’s also a former undercover CIA officer serving in crazy places, like North Africa during Arab Spring.
Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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PARENTING
HEY VETERAN! Did You Know…
By Melissa L. Exline, Esq. Surratt Law Practice Photography Richard Stokes
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Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
MILITARY DIVORCE ISSUES – A Tangled Web Both the service member and their spouse sacrifice to allow the service member to perform his or her job; but, with a military divorce, there are many layers of complication that a non-military divorce does not include. Even if not active duty, a veteran will have additional issues to address that a civilian will not. Jurisdiction, or where the divorce can be filed, is often a complication with active duty military because it depends on the service member's resident state. Residency can be where the service member was originally from, is registered to vote, maintains a driver’s license, or the spouse's state of residency. Someone must still have their "foot in the door,” so to speak, for the State to have the ability to address the divorce dispute. Next, visitation or custody in cases with children is rarely clear-cut. With deployments in conflict zones and being stationed in far-off locations, a split (or splitting) family must create a custody schedule that puts the children’s best interest at the forefront. Arguably, when the service member returns from deployment he or she will want to see the children more. A judge is likely to give strong consideration to the new circumstances which can re-connect the children with the service member or former service member parent. Mediation or collaborative divorce may be an appropriate option, as this could allow the air-time necessary to reach a reasonable agreement, given these complicated circumstances. The non-military spouse will be losing a lot of resources that were available to them as a military spouse. Not surprisingly, a significant issue that comes up is health insurance. The non-military spouse may have a right to continue health coverage (i.e. TRICARE coverage). This is dependent on the duration of the marriage, military service, and the amount of overlap of the marriage with the military service. TRICARE may be available for one year or for as long as the former spouse’s lifetime if he or she does not remarry. It can be an enormous benefit to keep this coverage in place post-divorce, so knowing when this will end up is imperative. Perhaps one of the most significant long-term impacts in a military divorce is each spouse's rights to military retirement. This is a complicated maze and mandates an experienced attorney who understands these issues. Historically, it was fairly clear that the treatment of retired pay was dependent on the laws of the state where the divorce was taking place. In Nevada, that meant that retirement was subject to community property division if it was an asset earned, or at least partially earned, during the marriage. The military retirement system is extremely specific and limiting in what is permitted to flow to the non-military member. Court cases found only "disposable pay" was divisible and excluded disability pay. This means that only non-disability military retired pay is on the table to be directed to the former spouse. Recent changes have made this pension division even more difficult and require an expert to draft proper military pension division orders that comply with new ways to divide the pension. With new blended retirement options available for 2018 forward, the Thrift Savings Plan is likely to be a bigger piece of the retirement pie down the road.
Hey Veterans, Did You Know…
A Nevada resident veteran with wartime service can apply for a tax exemption on vehicle or real property. Or, you can donate your exempted tax directly to the Nevada Veterans' Home Account.
Nevada offers a vet with a 60% or more service-connected disability a property tax exemption.
An honorably discharged Nevada veteran with a permanent disability of 10% or more can get a pass for free entrance to all state parks, camping, and boat launch facilities. Search the Nevada Department of Veterans Services online for more information on these and other benefits.
In summary, anyone in a military divorce situation, wither the spouse or the service member, must be prepared to do their homework and expect a few hurdles. It is manageable. The local JAG attorney can be a springboard to provide initial information. Consulting with experienced lawyers will be important in longer marriages with more assets at issue. Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
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WANTING TO ADOPT A CHILD OR USE A SURROGATE IN NEVADA?
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As a Reno adoption attorney & surrogacy lawyer, Stovall answers your parental rights & family law questions, including costs, pros and cons, contracts & more. RENO OFFICE
200 Ridge Street, Suite 222 • Reno, Nevada 89501-2014
(775) 337-1444 • nevadaadoptionlawyer.com 8AM - 4PM, Monday - Friday
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Summer 2018 / Blissbabies.com
Favorite baby lines by
Chez Vous Boutique in Reno at Plumgate
Jelly Cat Plush: Collectors from all over call for their latest, cutest, and greatest stuffed animals, with correlating heart-felt stories for young toddlers and children.
Terry Plush Hooded bath and beach towels by Zoocchini: Modeled by our customer, Cami Rowe’s son, Peyton Rowe.
Baby and Toddler clothing by Mud Pie is always a huge hit. Adorned with popular children’s animals, holiday motifs, sports, and animals we all love. Baseball outfit modeled by Cami’s son, Atlas Rowe. Mud Pie specializes in the cutest holiday outfits for babies and toddlers along with infant photo shoot outfits.
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MAY & JUNE 2017
BLISSBABE.COM
Nevada Center for Reproductive Medicine
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