and climbed on mango trees to pick the just ripe fruits in the middle of Delhi summers. She was a great friend. Life seemed like a beautiful circus, of which I was the master and she my only assistant, and the world all of animals, inferior, meeker than us. As soon as I had a job, we married and started a family. If I say we were one hundred percent compatible, I would be lying. We had differences, our issues, our egos got hurt several times, altered, transformed, but like all married people who wished to remain married, we resolved our issues, talking about them, telling each other our respective ‘sorrys’. Back to the moment. My ex girlfriend has agreed that we should go to a disco. We have nothing more to talk, so I think the music will help. We hit the best disco in the city. It begins with beer. Until we realize we need something better. We turn to scotch and take to the dance floor. At first touching her body—that touch, that touch, yes that sexy touch—brings an awkward feeling but soon it seems like I have been dancing with her all these years. Her smell, the small of her waist, it all wakes me up and I get transported back in time. She tells me she knew all this while where I was and she chose not to talk to me because she respected that I was married and stayed with my wife who had nothing to do with our painful decision. I get into a rage. How can she be so, so stupid. Had she approached me, she could have threatened our marriage, she insists. This dumb female who loved me crazily, watched me calmly go on with my life. At this moment Mr. Pain ejects from my body and looms overhead. This is so good—I fear it will stay outside forever now. ‘Are you married, I ask her?’ It’s difficult to control my anger but I do it remarkably well. She nods. She wants to use the restroom and I laugh at the recall that she always had to pee before anything exciting happened between us. My ex girlfriend doesn’t return for fifteen minutes. I run to the basement, outside on the road, but there is no sign of her. She’s gone, eaten away, sucked into the time that existed before. I get back to the bar and drink some more. Why did she have to go, come back and go again? Soon I am drunk and I
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