In the Weeds

From the Desk of Amy Miller, Executive Director

In the Weeds

Last weekend my husband and I spent Saturday morning doing yard work. He mowed and spread fresh mulch. I trimmed, pruned and pulled out weeds in our flower beds. As I worked through the landscaping, I was amazed (and appalled) at the size and strength of some of the weeds! Some were 8 to 10 inches tall with crazy deep roots. How did things get so out of control?

As I moved from bed to bed pulling weeds, I reflected on how similar gardening is to habit building.

Habits, much like the plants in a garden, can be both good and bad. Some of our habits were planted intentionally through hard work and discipline. These purposeful and productive habits produce a bountiful harvest of beautiful things. Alternately, some of our habits grow without intent, and much like weeds, are undesirable and unwanted. Additionally, our habits become more difficult to remove the longer we allow them to take root. With this in mind, how do we cultivate the habits we desire, and avoid the ones we don’t?

To cultivate the right habits, I believe we need to do three things: Weed, Prune and Water.

1. Weed. We each need to weed out the activities, people and thoughts that trigger our less desirable habits. For example, watching TV in the evening can lead to eating ice cream, chips or other unhealthy snacks. In his best-selling book, The Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg refers to this habit cycle as a three-part loop. We have cues (watching TV) that trigger routines (eating unhealthy snacks), which trigger a reward (temporary satisfaction.) According to Duhigg, to change our negative habits, we need to “weed” the loop. In the example above, we could do so by changing either the cue (watching TV) or the routine (eating unhealthy snacks.) Changing the cue could be choosing an alternative activity like book reading or going for a walk. Changing the routine could be instead of eating an unhealthy snack, drinking a healthy tea or probiotic beverage.

The key is that we need to weed the loop to change our habits and change our lives.

“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.” — Charles Duhigg

2. Prune. If we want better habits, we need to prune (cut back) on excess. In gardening, pruning stimulates growth and health of the plant by removing overgrowth. In our habits, and in life, we need to prune time spent on activities that are weighing us down and stunting our growth. In other words, we need to remove activities, tasks and events from our calendar that reduce the amount of time we have available for the habits that are truly helping us to blossom and grow.

3. Water. A popular meme circulating on social media platforms states,

“Don’t forget to drink water and get sunlight. You’re basically a houseplant with complicated emotions.”

Funny as it is, it also rings true. If we want to be our best selves, we need to pay attention to our habits and give them the attention they need to thrive. In the book The Compound Effect, author Darren Hardy explains that the trajectory of our entire lives is determined by each seemingly insignificant decision we make. If we want to change our lives for the better, we need to pay attention to our smallest decisions and habits because these small decisions, compounded over time, determine our future outcomes.

As we navigate the 3rd quarter of this year, I hope you’ll remember to weed, prune and water those areas that you wish to grow. If you do, I’m sure you’ll have a bountiful harvest.