SORTED magazine : July / Aug 2013 by INDEPENDENT NEWS LTD.

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PIERCE BROSNAN LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED ®

Jul/Aug 2013

sorted-magazine.com

RAFAEL

NADAL

ON HIS KNEES

STIRRED NOT SHAKEN

JAHMENE DOUGLAS

KEEP

SMILING

£3.50

In partnership with

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Vol. 7 | No. 4 | Jul/Aug 2013

www.sorted-magazine.com

38 80

50 56

46 ACTION 7

Vast as the Ocean HMS Ocean is one special ship

The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

Rambling On To Italy and beyond

COLUMNISTS 14

Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

Compassion with Kate Sharma

CULTURE

FEATURES

50 Love is All You Need

Pierce Brosnan speaks candidly about his loves and losses, about his latest ﬁlm and becoming James Bond.

Douglas is Jahméne Man Jahméne’s journey from witness protection to X-Factor ﬁnalist.

Fire in my Belly Peter Gladwin really has been through the ﬁre in his life, but he has lived to tell the tale.

A Fighting Chance The armed forces provided an escape from Christianity for Billy Gilvear, but before long his life span out of control.

A Real-Life Indiana Jones Bob Cornuke thinks he knows where Noah’s Ark and the Ark of the Covenant are, but not everyone agrees.

Alister McGrath on Life After Atheism Alister McGrath draws parallels between the works of CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien and the Bible.

BUSINESS

SPORT

We’re in Business with Charles Humphreys

Make it a Triple A hop, skip and a leap of faith

Movies with Martin Leggatt

Television with Emily Russell

Making Your Mark with Stuart Rivers

Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce

Gaming with Jim Lockey

Relationology with Matt Bird

DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

Rafael Nadal Back in the Game

Books with Mark Anderson

Music with Sue Rinaldi

ADVICE

Theatre with Adam Bloodworth

Smart Talk

HEALTH & FITNESS

Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

Fitness with Phil Baines

Nutrition with Caroline Gerrie

Lifestyle Doc with Dr Chidi

Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

LIFESTYLE 29

Cars with Sam Burnett

Six of the Best… Flash Garden

Top Gear Gadgets and gizmos galore

Sixty Second Life Coach with Peter Horne

Cover picture: Theo Kingma/Rex Features

OPINION 70

Money with Jon Cobb

Family with Richard Hardy

Faith with Sam Gibb

HUMOUR

Politics with Lyndon Bowring

In Vino Veritas with Tony Vino

Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

The Last Word with Carl Beech

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STEVE LEGG

Up Front © Scott Griessel | Dreamstime.com

Publisher & Editor Steve Legg steve@sorted-magazine.com Deputy Editor Joy Tibbs joy@sorted-magazine.com Sports Editor Stuart Weir Marketing & Advertising Rebekah Taylor rebekah@sorted-magazine.com Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615 Classified Advertising Fiona Hinton ﬁona@hintonmediaservices.com Design Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk Print Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk Distribution COMAG © Sorted Magazine 2013 Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement. SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984. Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

Contact Sorted Magazine

This Brother’s Not Feeling the Love

y wife has just made a confession that rocked me to my core. Let me put this into context. Last year I went all out organising a dream birthday treat, combining all of my favourite things. Without giving anything away, I built Bekah’s anticipation of the coming event, dropped diversionary hints and told her how much she would love it. I got the kids in on the act too; my eldest advising her on what to wear, helping her with her makeup and choosing her shoes. The night came and we set oﬀ for the secret location, still giving nothing away.

BEKAH IS NOT A NEIL DIAMOND FAN, AND THE ONLY SONG SHE RECOGNISED THAT EVENING WAS “SWEET CAROLINE”.

PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E-mail: steve@sorted-magazine.com

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As we approached, the tips of a circus tent rose above the horizon and we started to see signposts and posters advertising Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show. Bekah looked intrigued, and it wasn’t until we sat in our seats with a drink in our hands and the music started to roll that she leant over and admitted, “I have no idea what is going on”. With pride in my voice, I whispered back: “It’s a Neil Diamond musical starring one of my favourite comics, Brian Conley.” I sat back, delighted with the level of surprise success I had clearly achieved. It was an amazing night, with all the classics: “Sweet Caroline”, “Juliet” and “Brother Loves Travelling Salvation Show” itself. The cast was fantastic; I had excelled myself.

What I discovered today, however, is that Bekah is not a Neil Diamond fan, and the only song she recognised that evening was “Sweet Caroline”. On top of that, it turns out that the initial admission of not knowing what was going on turned into an ongoing state of bewilderment that I missed entirely as I merrily sang along to my favourites. To make matters worse, it would seem that in all my hyping up of the event, she imagined I’d actually listened when she had (apparently repeatedly) told me what she would love to do as a treat. All the anticipation I built up had led her to believe we would be doing something that combined all of her favourite things. Before you start thinking of my lovely wife as a five-star diva, it’s important that you know that this confession only came out after some wheedling, and she put in a stellar performance on the night of a woman having the time of her life. She still insists that having a proper night out was a real treat all by itself. I, however, feel like a bit of a doughnut, and one that needs to start paying a little more attention to the person my wife really is. It’s possible I need to do the same with my children and maybe let my five daughters choose the movie for family night rather than telling them how much they are going to love the latest Captain America film. Still, it’s Match of the Day tonight – they’ll all love that! I

Steve Legg PUBLISHER & EDITOR steve@sorted-magazine.com SteveLeggUK

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ACTION LA(Phot) Guy Pool

LA(Phot) Martin Carney

VAST AS THE OCEAN BY FLT LT JONNY ‘JP’ PALMER

any great things have come out of France: Champagne, blue cheese, Eric Cantona and of course the Citroën … ok, maybe not. But nothing French tastes quite as good to an Englishman as victory, and that is where we pick up on the Royal Navy’s premier assault ship. HMS Ocean was a name first gifted to a British warship in 1761, just two years after the French 80-Gun vessel Océan was captured in battle by the Royal Navy. British engineers poured over the French technology, took the best of what they found (being the 1700s the French car industry hadn’t invented electrical faults yet) and HMS Ocean was born. With more than a hint of typical English irony, the new 90-Gun immediately set to work against the French fleet; first as Flagship of Portsmouth, then as part of the Channel Fleet, where she was included in an action that saw 15 Napoleonic ships sunk without British losses. Ocean has moved on over the last 250 years – along with cross-channel sentiment – and there have been six evolutions culminating in today’s HMS Ocean, a massive 21,500-tonne amphibious assault ship and helicopter landing platform. Costing an impressive £234 million, HMS Ocean was commissioned into service and named by the Queen herself in February 1998, and has since f

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ACTION constantly proven that she is worth her weight in gold (which, by the way, would be £643.4 billion, so we should consider her a bargain!). Before even having completed her sea trials, Ocean found herself in a humanitarian role assisting oﬀ the coast of Honduras following Hurricane Mitch. Within two years of coming into service, Ocean was suppressing the rebel West Side Boys in Sierra Leone, where she landed her sizable force of Royal Marine Commandos into the West African jungle.

THE TAG APPROACH ALLOWS BATTLEFIELD COMMANDERS TO PICK AND CHOOSE EXACTLY WHICH AIRCRAFT THEY NEED TO DO THE JOB.

LA(PHOT) Guy Pool

HMS Ocean also played a major role in the task force deployed for the 2003 Iraq War, where British troops have spent a hefty portion of the last decade. Alongside various exercises around the globe, HMS Ocean was notably involved in Operation Cunningham. Here she received direct orders from the Prime Minister to assist in the evacuation of British servicemen and civilians stranded on mainland Europe following the 2010 eruption of the Eyja allajökull volcano in Iceland that grounded airline flights over the UK and much of northern Europe. More recently, Britain’s biggest warship has proven her flexibility when she was called off an exercise in the Mediterranean to fight; this time alongside the French, where she joined Operation Unified Protector. Positioned near the Libyan coast, she deployed her Tailored Air Group (TAG) of Sea Kings for surveillance, Lynx for fleet defence and Apache gunships, which were used to protect the Libyan civilian population; striking Gaddafi’s troops behind enemy lines with pinpoint accuracy. Even the Yanks’ elite PJ Combat Search and Rescue team joined the party with their specialised HH60 Pave Hawks. This TAG approach sounds very Hollywood and allows battlefield commanders to pick and choose exactly which aircraft they need to do the job. Added to an air department that can accept up to 18 helicopters from almost everything in the allied inventory (having even hosted the US Marine Corp’s hybrid V22 Osprey aeroplane) and a hanger so gargantuan that it’s known

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Facts and Figures Pennant (Registration) L12 Displacement 21,000t Length 208.2m Beam 36.1m Combat Range 8,000 miles Top Speed 16Kt Complement 450 Assault Force 660 marines, 40 vehicles, 4 assault landing craft Air Component Up to 18 support and attack helicopters Armament 3 x Phalanx CWIS self-defence cannons 4 x 20mm Gambo Cannons 4 x 7.62mm General Purpose Machine Guns

as The Tardis (because ‘it’s bigger on the inside’), you have what is probably the most formidable British warship afloat. Rewarded for her service in Libya, the ‘Mighty O’ sailed back to Blighty to undertake possibly her highest-profile job to-date, where she featured at the very centre of security for the 2012 London Olympic and Paralympic Games. Squeezing her 36.1 metre waistline through the Thames Barrier, Ocean moored off the banks of Greenwich, where a fleet of ten Lynx helicopters supported Special Forces teams and snipers while her complement of Royal Marines secured the capital’s waterways in their patrol boats. Jon Backhouse was the Ocean’s chaplain during ‘Op Olympic’ and remembers it well. “The ship had got home from Libya for Christmas,” he told Sorted. “She had been worked hard fighting for seven months rather than the seven weeks she was supposed to be out for, and needed some overdue essential maintenance. “This worked out well for the ship’s company, as they too had been worked hard, and although they were pleased with what they’d accomplished, they enjoyed their much-deserved extended period in port with their families whilst Ocean was serviced and initial preparations for the Olympics got underway.” When asked how the ship’s complement felt about the deployment to London 2012, Jon was almost incredulous in his response: “The Olympics was the biggest event in the UK for at least a decade – where else would you want to be but London? It was a strange time, though, because as a ship we were working absolutely flat out. Ocean was continuously at flying stations 24/7 for ten weeks and our sailors [were] working a 12-on-12-off shift pattern, but in the amazing atmosphere it felt almost as if we were on R&R!” After successfully completing a trouble-free Olympic event, Ocean sailed home to Her Majesty’s Naval Base Devonport in Plymouth to undergo a well-earned period of scheduled maintenance involving more than 1.2km of new piping and around 100,000 litres of paint. The 15month refit will see major upgrades to her engines, communications, radar and weapons systems and will enable her to keep proving that Britannia does indeed rule the Ocean waves; as a former North African Colonel recently found out. I Flight Lieutenant Jonny ‘JP’ Palmer has flown the Hercules C-130 J for the Royal Air Force since 2010. He lives in Oxfordshire with his wife and three children near RAF Brize Norton. He is a member of the Armed Forces Christian Union and is passionate about making Jesus known in the military.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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ACTION

BEAR GRYLLS

The Bear Facts Chase the Goal, Not the Money He’s everybody’s favourite explorer and Chief Scout, and it seems Bear Grylls is fast becoming one of the nation’s favourite autobiography writers too. In each issue of Sorted we have been treating you to an excerpt from his latest book, A Survival Guide for Life, and this edition is no different. If you can’t wait for the next instalment, copies are available from all good booksellers.

WEALTHY PEOPLE CAN ALL TOO EASILY END UP FEELING GUILTY AND UNWORTHY. Wealthy people so often find that the summit of their mountains – the success that they sought – isn’t enough. And they are right. It isn’t enough to satisfy our deep hunger for meaning and purpose. In essence, you have to build your house on good foundations – on rock, not sand – and money, as a goal in itself, will never satisfy you. So choose wisely. And be careful what you wish for. When you start putting the correct steps into place, good things will start to happen. So you have got to be prepared for the success when it comes. Money can

make the path more comfortable, but it will never remove the potholes. Billionaire John Paul Getty famously said: “I would give everything I own for one happy marriage.” That is pretty telling. Money doesn’t solve all your ills. In fact, money, like success, tends instead to magnify your life; and if you are living with the wrong values, money will make things much worse. Conversely, if you get it right, money can be an incredible blessing. A final note on this, one little secret: when you truly commit yourself to your dream, when you ooze enthusiasm and let your talents shine (however small or fledgling they might be at the start), you will often find that the money comes to you by default. But if you just chase the money, like a butterfly, it will often fly away. Follow the dream and let your talent thrive. Better people’s lives, stick to it through thick and thin, and I bet you find out that money will be close beside you. So try not to worry about money, ever. Instead focus on the journey. And certainly don’t waste time and energy accumulating just wealth. Follow your goals wholeheartedly and there will be enough to satisfy you. Just wait and see where your dreams can take you. I Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is best known for his television series Born Survivor, known as Man Vs Wild in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Bear spent three years in the SAS and is one of the youngest Britons to climb Mount Everest, doing so at the age of 23. In July 2009, he became the youngest ever Chief Scout at the age of 35.

e live in a society where people love to equate success with money. It is always a mistake. I have met enough unhappy millionaires to know that money alone does not make you happy. I’ve seen people work so hard they do not have any time for their families (or even time to enjoy the money). They doubt their friends’ motives, or become paranoid about people trying to steal from them. Wealthy people can all too easily end up feeling guilty and unworthy, and it can be a heavy load to carry; especially if you don’t treat that fickle impostor right. You see money, for its own sake – like success or failure – is a thing of little lasting significance. It is what we do with it and how we treat it that makes the life-changing difference. Money, success and failure can drastically improve or ruin people’s lives. So you have to treat it for what it is. And you have to stay the master of it.

If you want to read on, we strongly recommend investing in a copy. It’s available from all good bookshops and online retailers, and it could just help you make the changes needed to turn your life around.

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ACTION BY JOHN CARTER

learned the hard way that it is never wise to base your travel plans on a unique event, no matter how spectacular and ‘unmissable’ that event may be. It happened some years ago when I travelled with a TV crew to Siena in Italy, for the specific purpose of filming the Palio: a famous horse race around the Piazza del Campo. It was to be the highlight of our film with its action, colour, noise and excitement. Unfortunately, torrential rain postponed the whole thing and our grand plan – not to mention what would have been the best sequence in the entire film – disappeared down the city’s storm drains. The memory of everything going disastrously awry was triggered when I spotted a super holiday to Siena and Florence in the latest collection of holidays from Ramblers Worldwide (RWH). Sensibly, the organisers have avoided the high summer, when the city is extremely crowded whether the horse race is on or off, and provide their clients with the opportunity to see it at the turn of the year, when its medieval attractions are on show for Christmas and the New Year.

Rambling On John Carter, long-time presenter of ITV’s Wish You Were Here…? programme and seasoned globetrotter, explores some exciting new guided walking destinations across the globe.

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ITS TRUE DELIGHTS CAN ONLY BE APPRECIATED BY THOSE WHO HAVE THE TIME AND INCLINATION TO WALK AROUND IT. Combining Siena with Florence and its peerless Renaissance art and architecture is something of a masterstroke. And to do so in an 11-day holiday from £1,029 is even better. This means that, for a shade over £93.50 a day, you get your return ﬂights, transfers and the services of an experienced group leader – as well as breakfast and accommodation at your hotel and either dinner at the hotel or at a local restaurant. If you haven’t already made plans for Christmas, think about the holiday scheduled for December 23. Or, looking farther

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ACTION Lake. The cost is £3,450 per person including return flights, transfers, full-board accommodation and the services of a dedicated tour leader, which ain’t half bad! The trip departs March 8, 2014. Also in my sights for 2014 is a 17-day holiday exploring the fascinating microcosm of South America: embracing everything from the Andean peaks at Paso de Jama to the abundant wine valleys around Cafayate. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing volcanoes, salt flats and geysers at San Pedro de Atacama; ‘Altiplano’, the high plains at the top of the world; the old colonial city of Salta; and Purmamarca, the perfect place to relax after a punishing but enjoyable schedule! The price for this adventure starts from £3,700 per person, including return flights, transfers, half-board accommodation, some lunches and the services of a dedicated tour leader. Departures are on May 17 and August 16, 2014. Other new offerings within the operator’s portfolio are a mouth-watering selection: Switzerland, Austria and the Balearic Islands also feature in the European list. Further afield, an 11-day holiday combines Moscow and St Petersburg from £1,895. If you haven’t yet made any plans for this year’s holiday or for 2014, this new selection is a good place to start. Visit www.ramblersholidays.co.uk for further information. I

ahead, the departure on March 6, 2014. I’ve just returned from a short trip to Italy, which I hope to cover at a later date, and was pleased to see that my favourite destination in that country is also featured in the new programme. Venice is beyond comparison, and no words of mine could do it justice, for those words` inevitably slide into clichés about its canals, bridges, grand houses and churches with their forlorn air of neglect and past glories. Though it may seem an unlikely destination for a rambling holiday, its true delights can only be appreciated by those who have the time and inclination to walk around it; all the more so from late afternoon when all the day-trippers have departed. As with many of its arrangements, RWH oﬀers bed and breakfast accommodation with evening meals (which are also included in the price of the holiday) either taken in the hotel or in nearby restaurants, of which Venice has a huge selection. The cost, which also includes return ﬂights and the services of a group leader, is £969 for a week, departing on November 23 or December 20. Despite this homage to Europe, I’m also sorely tempted to stretch a leg to participate in some tantalising guided walking holidays including Burma and the Andes, spanning Argentina and Chile. Particularly appealing is a 16-day holiday to Burma, which is only just opening up to tourists after years of isolation. What I would love to savour is the Shwedagon Pagoda in Yangon; the temples and pagodas of Bagan; a boat trip on the Elephant River to the Golden Buddha in Arakan; Mandalay Hill with its stunning views; and Inle Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

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COLUMNISTS

ANT DELANEY

Diamond Geezer

God Likes Me!

A Blessed Man When I turned up at a hotel in the US once, it transpired that my PA had messed up my booking. It turned out I wasn’t booked in at all! The hotel was completely full, the guy said. I replied: “You don’t have to help me, but you know what? I’m a blessed man. If you bless me, you’ll be blessed.” He worked on it for half an hour and gave me the only room available: a suite the size of an apartment with its own kitchen. I’m a blessed man! God likes me. Does that sound a bit ‘up myself’ to you? I

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think it sounds like faith. It’s how a man called Abram saw himself, and the Bible calls him the father of faith. In Genesis 12, God spoke to this old man, an Iraqi. For some reason God picked him, out of all the people on earth, and said: “I want to bless that guy!” In fact God had been speaking to him for some time, because now he was seventy-five. Maybe all his life God had been calling him and saying: “If you TRUST Me, I will be your God and I will bless you.”

“THAT IS THE HOTEL I HAVE JUST BUILT FOR YOU TO BE THE MANAGER OF.” The Lord said to Abram: “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:1-3). So Abram went, as the Lord had told him. God had been speaking to him for a while; we don’t know how long. He was basically saying: “If you dare to follow where I lead, I will provide for

Blessed To Bless Guess what happened. God blessed him! He got blessed and, more importantly, he became a blessing. Three of the major religions of the world now honour him because he was a blessed man. The Bible says he set out at a time when there was famine all around him. Nevertheless, Abraham was blessed wherever he went. Hey you. God likes you! Yes, you. God wants to bless you. He’s been trying to tell you. He’s picked you. Step out, and He will step in. Will you believe Him? Go where He tells you, believe what He says and assume that you’re blessed to be a blessing. As you bless others, you’ll find that you will leave a legacy that is beyond your wildest dreams. I

Author and broadcaster Anthony Delaney regularly features on BBC radio. He is strategic leader of Ivy, a movement of new churches that meets in cinemas, a pub, a warehouse, homes and a church building. His book Diamond Geezers has just been released as an audio book and is available direct from www.ivymanchester.org. Follow him on twitter @anthonydelaney.

n elderly couple entered the lobby of a small hotel in Philadelphia one rainy night hoping to get shelter for the night. The clerk, George, was a friendly man with a winning smile, but he explained there were three conventions in town. “All our rooms are taken,” he said, “but I can’t send a nice couple like you out in the rain at one o’clock in the morning. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It’s not exactly a suite, but it will make you comfortable.” They initially declined, but the young man insisted: “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” So the couple agreed. As he paid his bill the next morning, the elderly man said: “I like you. You’re the kind of manager who should run the best hotel in the world. Maybe one day I’ll build it for you.” They all had a good laugh. Two years on, George had forgotten the incident when he received a letter from the old man recalling the stormy night and enclosing a roundtrip ticket to New York, asking him to visit. The old man met George, led him to the corner of 5th Avenue and 34th Street, and pointed to a new building: a palace of red stone with turrets and watch towers thrusting up into the sky. “That,” said the old man, “is the hotel I have just built for you to be the manager of.” The old man’s name was William Waldorf Astor and the magnificent structure was the famous original Waldorf Astoria Hotel. Its first manager was George Boldt. I’m just going to throw something out there. I think God likes me. Now if you’ve read any of the Bible you might think, So what – doesn’t he love everyone? Isn’t that God’s job? Well I do believe he loves me. But I think he likes me, too. The way the Bible would put it is that God favours me. Or to use a great word that sounds a bit religious, I’m a “blessed” man. I believe that. It makes all the difference to believe it.

you and bless you and you’ll be a blessing.” Does that make him special? Not particularly. In fact, Abram had been hanging around kicking his heels since God first called him. The Bible says God is “no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34). That doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect people, in fact, quite the opposite: he won’t force us, but he invites us. He is saying: “TRUST me. Believe me.” What ‘God is no respecter of persons’ means is that He’ll bless anyone who believes Him! He will! He’s recklessly generous in His blessing! The ONE difference with Abram? Finally, ten years after he got a bus pass, he got on the bus. He set out! He acted on what he believed he’d heard. He left everything he knew behind, took his wife and nephew “and went, as the Lord had told him” (Genesis 12:4). If you track the rest of the story, he just kept on doing that. Beliefs determine action, and God blesses action.

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RUNNING HEAD COLUMNISTS

ALEX WILLMOTT

Your Will, Mott Mine

I Am Because We Are And before you know it, you’re facing a set of bizarre job interviews where ageless men ask you: If you were forced to be an animal, which one would you be? Your application forms float into office bins without a second’s thought, and job vacancies become as meaningless as the lyrics of a Justin Bieber song. And you pray. You pray more and more as the reality of being forced to sell your house dawns ever closer. And then a hallelujah moment arrives. For me it came this week when my world of joblessness fell away as I stood among cattle in the Hebrides. A phone call from a global company resulted in a lovely manager offering me a role I could have only dreamed of two years ago. I start on Monday.

THEY’RE REAL FRIENDS. AND NEVER FOR A SECOND WOULD THEY HAVE ALLOWED ME TO SINK.

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Despite my experience as a journalist, a strong track record in communications and a desire to work hard, I’ve had nowhere to go with my skills. Every day, redundancy hurls welltrained humans onto the CV scrapheap. It’s a realm where the glint slowly fades from a man’s eyes.

Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Former newspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local football manager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after reading the book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visit www.alexwillmott.com for more information.

s there a more emasculating word in this Saxon language of ours than the word ‘redundant’? Yes, quite a few, in truth. ‘Impotent’, ‘castrated’ and ‘camp’ are just three other words that come to mind. However, there is a uniquely deﬂating environment that forms in a man’s mind when he is forced to utter the phrase: “I was made redundant”. It almost feels like the individual is actually mumbling: “I am professionally useless”. Some immaculately holy people will confidently bellow from their fabricated pulpits that a real Christian should never place his identity in his job. You’ll be pleased to know, I’m about as immaculate as a battered haggis that has been dipped in Guinness. Of course a man’s trade is woven into his being. The way we spend our time is evidence of the fact we were created to step up and work hard. It is fitting, then, that when a man is made redundant, he questions his role in this rapid assault course we call existence. And that’s where I have been existing for six months.

After the call, I sipped a single malt whisky on the island with my three close friends: Mark, Lee and Tom. I gathered my deflated memories of the previous six months and happily dumped them into the desolate abyss. But as I celebrated the end of an exhausting six months, I was enlightened with a wonderfully sobering truth: I would have been alright in any case. I would have been alright because I have friends. They’re not corporate buddies who you have the same pointless chats with at conferences. They’re not the locals at the dying pub you frequent on quiz nights. They’re real friends. And never for a second would they have allowed me to sink. That’s the difference a church makes. People from the Xhosa culture – a remote African tribe – have a stunning phrase: “ubuntu”. It simply means “I am because we are”. If you’re still living your life as a spiritual cowboy, investing in opportunities instead of relationships, you’ll never understand ubuntu, that makes you one of the saddest beings in existence. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends“ (John 15:13). Time for me to get back to work. I

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COLUMNISTS

KATE SHARMA

Compassion

Does Child Sponsorship Really Make a Diﬀerence?

or millions of households in the developed world, sponsorship represents a practical and personal way to make a diﬀerence in the lives of the poor. Roughly $3.2 billion is spent on sponsorship programmes every year, and more than 9.14 million children are enrolled in programmes in the developing world. But you may be surprised to hear that virtually no one has conducted any empirical, independent research into the impact it makes on children’s lives. Until now, that is. When Dr Bruce Wydick, a professor of economics and international studies at the University of San Francisco, was musing over the next area of development economics to explore, he noticed this gap and decided to take a closer look.

COMPASSION SEEK TO MEET THE NEEDS OF THE WHOLE CHILD. “We were surprised to see that no one had ever done research to determine if international child sponsorship really works,” says Dr Wydick. “So we conducted a study of Compassion International’s programme in six countries we believed to be representative of its work around the globe.” The research focused on six nations to which Compassion provided child sponsorship between 1980 and 1992. Around 1,800 formerly sponsored children were interviewed, along with more than 8,000 of their peers, who did not benefit from the programme. The results, published in the April 2013 issue of the Journal of Political Economy, demonstrate “large and statistically significant positive

impacts from child sponsorship on years of completed schooling, primary, secondary and tertiary school completion, and on the probability and quality of adult employment”. Findings from the two-year research project show that former Compassion-sponsored children were more likely to stay in school longer, finish secondary education, complete a university education, have salaried employment and secure white-collar employment than their non-sponsored peers. Perhaps one of the most striking things about the research is the light it sheds on Compassion’s approach to development. “Poverty is about more than just a lack of food and shelter,” says Ian Hamilton, Compassion UK’s CEO. “Poverty denies children choices and prevents them from fulfilling their potential. This is why, through its church-based projects, Compassion seek to meet the needs of the whole child; including their spiritual growth, education, relational development and health.” This holistic approach is one that Dr Wydick credits for the success of Compassion’s programmes. “Economists have focused traditionally on releasing external constraints. But some of the most important constraints the poor may face are internal constraints,” he says. “I think what the Compassion programme

does, almost uniquely among the organisations I’ve worked with, is work on these issues of aspiration development for individuals and help to build self-esteem and spiritual relationship with God. These are things that may be just as important, maybe more important, in shaping life outcomes.” I To view the full details of the research, visit www.compassionuk.org/research. Compassion has been working in partnership with churches across the globe to deliver its one-to-one child sponsorship programme for more than 60 years. Currently, more than 1.4 million children attend Compassion’s church-based projects in 26 countries. To sponsor a child visit www.compassionuk.org.

“It wasn’t until I was in college that I realised how much the [Compassion] project had sown in my heart. I particularly remember how one of our teachers would tell us: ‘You were created to accomplish something big, because God is big.’ Those words are engraved on my heart forever” (Mariela Chay Sión, 27, a high school teacher in Guatemala).

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MOVIES

With Martin Leggatt

A Hostile Takeover R.I.P.D. This action comedy, best described as a fusion between Ghostbusters and Men in Black, stars veteran Jeff Bridges turning in his stock-intrade, grizzly-voiced, wise old man role as Roy Pulsipher of the Rest In Peace Department. Along with his sidekick Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds), he polices the souls of the dead as they pass to the other side in order to protect the innocent and unsuspecting living. Together they seek out a particularly nasty bunch of spirits that are intent on hiding among the living in order to wreak havoc and ultimately bring all the nasty bad guys back from the other side. Can the wisecracking duo save the world and restore universal order? For the uninitiated among us (and I include myself in this blissfully ignorant category), this is an adaptation from a Dark Horse comic book of the same name. For me, it has all the ingredients to make a good movie: Jeff Bridges is never bad (except perhaps in the truly unforgivable Fabulous Baker Boys); and things cinematic can

The Wolverine Hugh Jackman is back as the man with the metallic manicure and the most awesome sideburns in cinema – yes, even better than Day-Lewis’s Lincoln mutton chops – in The 20

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only ever be improved by the inclusion of Kevin Bacon, who takes a break from his advertising career to appear as a very heinous villain.

I’d like to think that no one does sleazy, scuzzy villain quite as well as Bacon, and in this he looks to be at the top of his game.

Wolverine. I’d like to get really excited by this film, but after countless sequels, prequels, crossovers and re-imaginings, I’m beginning to suffer from the kind of fatigue that I’d rather wish on our hero’s talons.

This time, our hero is in Japan battling against deadly samuraitype villains and Jessica Biel, while also meandering on a soulsearching voyage of self-discovery. The film is positioned as a sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine from 2009, which in itself wasn’t a terribly good film. I can understand the passion that devotees of the franchise have, but sooner or later even the most diehard fan has to get to a point where they cry no more. I think the general rule of thumb should be three films of any franchise and even then with the proviso that they are filmed as a premeditated trilogy rather than a lazy, unimaginative cash cow. Unfortunately, this falls into the latter category, and this is compounded by the fact that Hugh Jackman is a very, very good actor who must surely be contractually obliged to churn out countless Wolverine spinoffs. As I say, fans of the franchise will love this.

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World War Z Based on Max Brooks’ postapocalyptic war novel of the same name, this latest Brad Pitt vehicle portrays Gerry Lane (Pitt) as a researcher for the UN. Following a war on virus-infected humans who have reanimated as killer zombies, the plot follows a true race-against-time thriller tradition as Lane travels the world trying to halt the impending world zombie pandemic that not only threatens nations and governments, but humanity itself. I don’t really go for zombie genre films; in fact the only one I’ve really enjoyed and could

watch over and over is the very excellent Shaun of the Dead. This scifi, horror, thriller, war film will appeal

to fans of the genre, but I don’t really see a wider audience beyond this; not even among die-hard Pitt fans.

overlooked everyman is transformed into a one-man super force as he battles the bad guys, saves his daughter and the President (Jamie

Foxx) and, more importantly, gets to stick it to ‘the man’.

usual pearls of wisdom in his very own unique way. However, tragedy and chaos stalk Alan’s career at every turn and his latest stint as a DJ sees his current idyll to be very short-lived, as the radio station is soon threatened by a hostile takeover from a big corporation. Did I mention hostile takeover? Well that’s probably the best way to describe the ensuing chaos as a siege develops and there are no prizes for guessing who is at

the centre of it. Far from being a mad, cheesewielding berserker in a Dog Day Afternoon meets Norfolk scenario, Alan turns out to be a very unlikely hostage negotiator. If you’re a fan, as my friends and I certainly are, you will also have been counting down the days until Alan returns to his rightful place. Coogan is joined by an excellent cast, including Anna Maxwell Martin, Sean Pertwee, Colm Meaney and Nigel Lindsay, to name a few. At the time of writing. Coogan is lighting up cinemas with his portrayal of Paul Raymond. This looks set to blow that performance away.

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White House Down This explosive action movie will probably suffer from the earlier release of the Gerard Butler blockbuster Olympus Has Fallen, which happens to have pretty much the same theme. In this, Channing Tatum (21 Jump Street is probably his best offering to date) plays John Cale, a single parent Washington cop who is nursing his disappointment at being rejected by the Secret Service. You’ve probably already worked out the very predictable rest of the story, but here it is anyway. When terrorists seize control of the White House (Gerard Butler obviously didn’t do as good a job as I thought he had), there is only one man who can save the day. Yep, John Cale. In true Die Hard style, he finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time as he gets caught up in the hijack situation while on a tour with his daughter. But in true blockbuster tradition, the

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa This long-awaited and eagerly anticipated big screen outing of Norwich’s most famous son has been the talk of my circle of friends at work for what seems like a lifetime. Following Alan’s (Steve Coogan, who else?) televisual demise, he is back in radio at North Norfolk Digital Radio dispensing his

Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father to Aaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a selfconfessed movie geek, although his tastes run to an eclectic assortment of action, thriller, black and white, war and pretentious (as Sue would say) art house ﬁlms. Martin’s favourite ﬁlm is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of Life and Death.

%%%%% It’s been billed as Die Hard meets Air Force One. Unfortunately, it’s not half as good as either.

%%%%% It’s super, man.

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TELEVISION With Emily Russell

f it’s unconventional knowledge and fun you’re seeking, QI is definitely the show for you. Hosted by national treasure Stephen Fry, the series probes its varied guests – including permanent panellist Alan Davies – about facts that sound obvious or that we think we know… only to demonstrate that we really don’t know as much as we think we do. Points are given for an interesting answer, while others are taken away for being too obvious or just plain wrong. Myths are busted, cracked gems are uncovered, and terrific witticisms are unleashed. It’s a quiz show like no other.

IT’S LIKE SPENDING AN EVENING WITH FRIENDS; ALBEIT FRIENDS WHO ARE MUCH SMARTER OR WITTIER THAN US. It’s difficult to resist the charm of such a series. Stephen Fry is the perfect host, infamous as he is for his intellect and articulation, and Alan Davies is a brilliant foil, giving the obvious answers, hilariously 22

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refusing to believe some of what is revealed, and always having something pointed to say to puncture Stephen’s more verbose or grandiose moments. It’s an utter delight to watch and is clever enough to educate and entertain in equal measure. The quirky nuggets of knowledge it imparts linger long after an episode ends, ready to pop out at pub quizzes, dinner parties, or any other occasion when impressing people or showing off is on the cards. For such a cosy, oh-so-British show, it’s done wonderfully well worldwide. It has fans in many farflung places and has been nominated for (and won) a slew of awards. In 2006, Stephen Fry even won the highly prestigious Best Game Show Host Rose d’Or for his QI role. Being funny and informative, and demonstrating the many weird and wonderful theories our ancestors had about how the world works, is something that clearly appeals to a vast number of people in a whole host of places. It’s refreshing, especially compared with a lot of what currently fills our television schedules. It’s like spending an evening with friends; albeit friends who are much

smarter or wittier than us. It’s a comfortable, always funny, always interesting experience. In particular, the Fry-Davies double act is a joy: Stephen the exasperated schoolmaster to Alan the cheeky pupil. It‘s a show filled with witty one-liners, but it’s also full of fascinating titbits about our past and present, about what we know, and what we think we know. It celebrates being interesting, the idea that learning can be fun and that anyone can do it: even Alan Davies. It’s all in the way the information is presented, and QI has hit the jackpot as far as that’s concerned. It cherishes knowledge and is fun and unconventional, a pub quiz that everyone can enjoy, even if you don’t know the answer; sometimes especially if you don’t! Episodes of QI air regularly on BBC Two, and on Dave. The first three series are available on DVD. I Emily Russell has a degree in Media and Film Studies and works part-time for the University of Southampton. She wrote Culturewatch articles for the Damaris Trust website for eight years and watches far too much science-ﬁction and fantasy, crime shows, and wrestling. She is married to Anthony. Her ﬁlm articles can be read at www.emilyrussellwrites.wordpress.com.

BBC/Talkback Thames/Brian J Ritchie

Brian J. Ritchie/TalkbackThames/Rex Features

Quintessentially Inspiring

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GAMING With Jim Lockey

Thomas Was Alone (PC/PS3/PS Vita)

s Jim played the opening levels of Thomas Was Alone, he felt a creeping sense that, while it may not have been one of the best games he had ever played, it might well become one of the most memorable. As each new mechanic was introduced and the experience began to expand, he began to think of other unforgettable openings: like riding his horse towards the first boss battle in Shadow of the Colossus, or meeting the strange character of The Archetype in Sword & Sworcery EP. He began to wonder quite what had made each of these experiences so special. He decided it had to do with the way these games taught you how to play without any obtrusive tutorials or mind-melting controller layout images.

Images like the one above detailing the controller layout for Killzone 2 is supposed to help the player understand how to play the game. But it’s about as helpful for teaching you to play as a Haynes workshop manual is in teaching you to drive. Thomas Was Alone provided minimal use of instructions and onscreen prompts, coupled with clever level design to introduce Jim to all of its features at an even pace. It never felt stale and never overwhelmed him with too much to learn. At its heart, Thomas Was Alone is a simple puzzle platformer requiring only movement and jumping. The player is tasked with guiding a cast of characters toward the exit of each level by taking advantage of their unique abilities and attributes. The

characters in Thomas Was Alone, including the titular Thomas, are represented by small coloured rectangles; but they are each given life and personality thanks to the narration of author and comedian Danny Wallace, who gives voice to their inner monologues.

THE WRITING ELEVATES THIS GAME FROM AVERAGE PLATFORMER TO SOMETHING GENUINELY SPECIAL THAT SHOULD NOT BE MISSED. The writing elevates this game from average platformer to something genuinely special that should not be missed. The restricted (yet striking) visual style reduces the pure gameplay element of the game to its essence. The puzzles are never especially difficult; the joy in playing comes from following the charming tales of how the characters interact. Although Wallace’s narration is always in the third person (like the beginning of this article), his omniscient perspective allows him to inhabit each character. We get a look at their internal voices and learn about their anxieties, fantasies and dreams. As a result, Thomas

and his comrades feel more tangible and fully realised than many characters from mainstream games. I can recommend Thomas Was Alone to anyone who appreciates retro gameplay, but moreover to anyone wanting to experience a humorous tale with an innovative approach to characterisation. I Jim is a lifelong gamer and lives in Kent with his wife and children. He is also an artist and curator. His website is www.jimlockey.co.uk and his PSN name is tearfulminotaur.

App Watch Don’t miss Sushi Spinnery, a new game from Kairosoft. This is the company that brought Game Dev Story to the app store a couple of years ago; a game development sim that sets the bar for sims on iOS. This time, however, you won’t be creating video games, but raw fish delicacies for customers to enjoy. It’s an utterly addictive experience made even tastier by the utterly scrumptious pixel art for which Kairosoft is so well known.

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DVD & BLU RAY With Martin Leggatt

All’s Fair in Love and War Das Boot

Moviestore Collection/Rex Features

ar, what is it good for? Well, as Edwin Starr observed, absolutely nothing; except maybe to produce a select genre of ﬁlms that intelligently communicate the futility of war, loss of innocence and the duality of man. I’ve tried to whittle down a list of many to a select few, with apologies for any glaring omissions. Das Boot is Wolfgang Petersen’s classic adaptation of Lothar G Buchheim’s novel about the crew of a German U-boat during the final stages of the war. Available in many forms, from a BBC-aired serialisation to a not-very-good, dubbed-in-English version, my personal favourite is the original German with the small compromise of subtitles to supplement my shaky command of the language. This film is far removed from those big epic stories where everyone speaks awfully well and every action is accompanied by a rousing orchestral score. It’s really claustrophobic, perfectly capturing the horrible cramped and almost suffocating conditions those brave men, regardless of nationality, must have endured. While most war films have you

naturally rooting for one side or the other (for us Brits it’s usually those very well-spoken Englishmen played by Richard Todd or Kenneth More), this one has you identifying with the crew. It transcends any nationality or political boundaries: these men are striving to survive in the appalling conditions thrust upon them. Few of the crew have any ideological stance; it’s all about survival and the terrible fatigue brought on by conflict.

INNOCENCE IS NOT JUST LOST IN THIS FILM, BUT BRUTALLY SNATCHED AWAY AND REPEATEDLY BEATEN. My only experience of submarines was a US Navy nuclear sub during the eighties, which was roomier and better furnished than our house at the time. This film helps you imagine the sheer dirtiness of the conditions. Watching these heavily bearded men with their ruined food and mildew-infected clothing and bed linen, you can almost smell the heady mix of body odour and diesel fumes they describe. The excellent cast includes Jürgen Prochnow, who

later made the successful leap into mainstream Hollywood productions. Terrence Malick is a director who transcends many modern cinematic conventions, and his World War II Battle of Guadalcanal epic, The Thin Red Line, is no exception. Although it features many battle scenes and a stellar cast, the film concentrates on the relationships and bonds forged by battle. It frequently moves into an almost spiritual dimension; such as the moment we move from intense fighting to an almost sublime moment of watching a snail move along a blade of grass. I must confess that the first time I watched it, I didn’t get it. I looked at the cast list, saw the names Nick Nolte, John Travolta and George Clooney, and expected a blockbuster of Steve McQueen proportions. However, once I’d got beyond that, the pure brilliance of the film hit me: it was the amazing cinematography and the concentration not on heroic acts, but on the intense special bonds of love and family forged between men enduring a shared conflict. Another film from a very special director is Oliver Stone’s Platoon. Again, the focus is set firmly on the bonds formed under the most difficult of conditions. The theme is telegraphed from the outset by the strapline that ‘the first casualty of war

The Thin Red Line

Platoon

Ice Cold in Alex

Cross of Iron

The Great Escape

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CULTURE on the previous page. Starring Sir John Mills as alcoholic Captain Anson leading the erudite and unflappable Sergeant Major Pugh (Harry Andrews) and nurses Murdoch and Norton (Sylvia Syms and Diane Clare) across the North African desert, it is a huge step away from a ‘conventional’ war film. Anson is determined to drive his ambulance to the safety of Alexandria when they become separated from the remainder of the evacuating British forces, promising himself an ice cold glass of Carlsberg (do I get a free crate for the plug?) when they arrive. En route they pick up the mysterious, strong, belligerent and highly resourceful Captain van der Poel (Anthony Quayle), who seems just a little too good at talking his way out of trouble with the Germans they encounter. The focus is on a group of disparate and often desperate characters who are united in the fight against a common foe: the desert. The ending is one that never ceases to get me all emotional, but I just blame that on all the desert sand in my eyes. Some other honourable mentions should go to the excellent Sam Peckinpah’s Cross of Iron, starring James Coburn as Sgt Kurt Steiner, a man more at risk of being killed by

his own superior (Maximilian Schell) than by the Russians; John Sturges’ classic The Great Escape, a very poignant film made even more moving as it is pretty much a factual account of the mass murder of British and commonwealth POWs; and to finish, The Bridge on the River Kwai, featuring Sir Alec Guinness with the very stiffest of stiff upper lips as Col Nicholson. As the officer in charge of British POWs in Japanese captivity, he decides to build the very best of bridges in this tale of unbreakable spirits. I

The Bridge on the River Kwai

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Moviestore Collection/Rex Features

is innocence’, and innocence is not just lost in this film, but brutally snatched away and repeatedly beaten. The narrator and main focus of the film is a young volunteer, Chris Taylor, who is played excellently by Charlie Sheen. Taylor is initially idealist and very naive, having dropped out of college and left his comfortable, middle class background behind to become a grunt. He serves alongside conscripts from poor and deprived backgrounds, many of whom can’t even read the letters sent by their loved ones. Added to the mix are two career soldiers and patriarchs of the platoon: Staff Sgt Barnes (an Oscar-winning Tom Berenger delivering a performance he has never since replicated) and his foil, Sgt Elias (Willem Dafoe). Early on, the film focuses on the bonds that unite the men and the superstitions they hold; for example, no one wants to get to know the new guys because they will die soon. It also reveals how the most dangerous threat to the men comes not from the enemy but from their own officers. The loss of innocence element is delivered repeatedly throughout the film with the impact of a smack round the face. Ice Cold in Alex is, on the surface, one of those films featuring the awfully well-spoken actors I derided

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BOOKS

With Mark Anderson

Get Yourself Booked In!

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Brick City: Lego for Grown Ups Warren Elsmore For those of you who have ever played with Lego, it’s an addiction. Cities are out there to be recreated in your shed or man cave. Included in this book are detailed posters ranging from Buckingham Palace to grand models of Central Park! Elsmore has captured the delightful world of Lego on a massive scale. Turn the phone off, book an hour in the den and break out the Lego!

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give prayer “a shot”. Soon these men were getting healed inside and out. Martin goes to some lengths to explain that he is not the one carrying out the healing, but an extraordinary God who blesses prisoners with restoration. Martin goes on to talk about people who are not behind literal bars but still need healing, help and renewal. The book is well thought out and does not shy away from the taboo of dealing with prisoners who have committed terrible atrocities. Martin believes he was called to serve prisoners; the lowest of the low. How could he control his anger and frustration with these people knowing what they have done? An impossible task some might say; however, Martin reveals that God has changed all that. He believes these people need to be shown love so that they can change their lives and be “free on the inside”.

NASA Mars Rovers Manual

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David Baker (Haynes Publishing)

30-Second Bible Russell Re Manning Not read the Bible in a while? Or perhaps you have never picked it up? How about trying this short book explaining the 50 most meaningful biblical moments, each explained in 30-second slots. The Bible has been impacting culture, governments and people’s lives for thousands of years. You may think you already know the stories, but pick up this bite-sized summary to get acquainted, or reacquainted and you won’t be disappointed. It may change your life forever…

Free on the inside Martin Tuson Martin’s intent from the outset with this fascinating book is to describe

his personal relationship with God and differentiate between that experience and the idea of religion. Martin states: “Religion is really man’s attempts to achieve some sort of peace with God by self-effort or human ideals.” This, of course, is contrary to what God wants to have with us. Jesus is the only way to true forgiveness, joy and deliverance. Martin’s story is one from my native Northern Ireland, synonymous with green fields, Guinness and unfortunately The Troubles, and it is the latter that Martin focuses on. The book includes a close call with a gun, a near-miss with flying aircraft and interesting experiences in prisons with some of Northern Ireland’s most notorious criminals. Martin was called by God to help grown men who were physically hurt, injured or disabled in prison and had no other alternative but to

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Haynes has done it again! It has created a gorgeous manual showing the recent exploration of Mars. This guide begins with the design and thought process behind each stage, right through to the development of the Mars Rovers and culminating with Curiosity, a feat of engineering the size of a car and with enough gadgets to determine whether life does or ever could have existed on Mars. It is beautiful, well put together and engaging for readers of any age.

What We Talk About When We Talk About God Rob Bell This book is confrontational, challenging and confusing. Rob Bell leads us on a journey to tell us that religion is wrong; however the alternative is unclear. I enjoyed the scientific facts and being reminded how amazing our universe is, but telling us he has found a “new” way to God could be dangerous. Traditional isn’t always wrong. Rob conveys the Christian concept of ‘love thy neighbour’, but without a welldefined gospel message. It feels like a lot of air; lukewarm air. I

Mark was born in Belfast and developed a book and football obsession at a young age. He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a church plant in Newtownabbey. Read Mark’s musings at overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk.

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MUSIC

With Sue Rinaldi

Hillsong United Zion

Shawn Mcdonald The Analog Sessions

Emeli Sandé Live at the Royal Albert Hall (CD and DVD)

Hillsong United Zion Grounded in community and coloured by the values and vitality of a Christian faith, Australian band Hillsong United has been both innovative and prolific in providing anthemic songs to make the whole world sing! The band’s third studio album, Zion, continues to sustain their momentum, but en route to their current destination a seismic shift has taken place! Known for high-octane guitars, air-thumping vocal chants and pacey snare patterns, the band has embraced a whole new Pantone colour splash on Zion that sounds more mature, intricate and profound. Layered keyboards, textures and loops provide the canvas for a fresh-found depth of lyrical poetry and content. Instead of splashing on colours as aesthetic teasers, they have carefully paintbrushed interweaving shades and hues together to create an album worthy of becoming the first number one on the UK’s Official Christian & Gospel Albums Chart. “Scandal of Grace”, “Oceans” and “Relentless” have particularly impacted listening ears, but perhaps it’s the electronic synth-pop opening of “Heartbeats” that really points to the road that leaves Zion. Only time will tell whether these songs carry the same longevity as earlier Hillsong hits, but although some feel slightly too long, Zion is a superb destination.

Emeli Sandé Live at the Royal Albert Hall (CD and DVD) Debut album Our Version of Events announced the arrival of an outstanding artist, not only decreeing the advent of a voice with the posture of a legend in the making, but also an extremely gifted

Here’s a novel idea for these hi-tech times… ditch the digital and recapture the warm sunny days of live-to-tape analogue recording. McDonald’s accomplished vocals suit the unprocessed atmosphere created by the retro-freedom, and what results is extremely likeable and infectious. Nine rerecorded favourites and two brand new songs mark a tenyear musical career for McDonald, and his honest lyrical approach – alongside perceptive, intelligent arrangements – promise many more years to come.

Onerepublic Native Shawn Mcdonald The Analog Sessions

Onerepublic Native

Guaranteed catchy songs to take up residence in your head, crafted arrangements tailored to suit, polished and punchy production… there is no reason not to join the listening army of the OneRepublic! Lead singer Ryan Tedder vocally governs his self-penned songs with skilful versatility, garnishing them with enough emotion for instant appeal. Of course, his successful hitwriting ability for artists including Adele and The Wanted shines through to deliver quite the assortment of top-table tunes. I

and genuine songwriter. Chart hits “Heaven” and ‘Read All About It’ were momentous moments for this urban soul-tipped poet; soon overshadowed by her London Olympics medal for most viewed and valued artistic contributor. It felt like Britain had struck gold! This two-disc live recording featuring Professor Green and Labrinth is simply magnificent.

Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co-ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A self-confessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net).

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THEATRE

Alastair Muir/Rex Features

With Adam Bloodworth

Supersized and Spectacular

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islander’s search for fame. It comprises one-fifth of the Michael Grandage season, which offers more than 100,000 seats at £10. The role will be doubly pertinent for the star, who will appear on stage for the first time since the death of Harry Potter actor Richard Griffiths, with whom Radcliffe shared the stage in Peter Shaffer’s Equus.

THE MUSICAL IS SOLD OUT FOR MOST OF THE YEAR (AND INTO 2014). This traditional notion of big West End showmanship, combined with stark, docudrama concerns, makes fast work of seat-filling: take the slightly softer-focus The Book of Mormon, which is approaching takeover on a never-before-seen, global scale. The musical is sold out for most of the year (and into 2014) at London’s Prince of Wales theatre. In their first staged comedy, the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) redefine pastiche

Adam Bloodworth is an English Literature graduate turned freelance cultural journalist specialising in theatre, ﬁlm and music. Since leaving university, he has set up www.cultureortrash.com, a unique three-way reviews platform. He lives just north of London and never turns down an after-work drink (hint, hint).

Dan Wooller/Rex Features

ou’ll notice theatre has been in the news a good deal lately. April’s Olivier Awards called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time a smash hit. Seven wins were piled upon the surreal play; more wins than any other play in the award’s history. The Audience, Dame Helen Mirren’s on-the-pulse slice of regal drama, has also stolen headlines and garnered rave reviews. But if we push past awards glamour, there is a sense of largeness dictating the summer’s ‘theatrescape’ that has been equally newsworthy. Take Mark Haddon’s Curious Incident, which deals with medical hardship by presenting unexpected beauty of many sorts on stage. The aesthetics of this show have journeyed critics and theatre fans to discovery; drawing autism into an understood realm and thus generating news. Mainstreaming issues around ill health seem to be en vogue. Daniel Radcliffe stars in The Cripple of Inishmaan this July: a contentious production that channels Irish Nationalism by way of an unwell

via a musical, which appears, on the surface, to take a swipe at the Mormon religion. Look further and it has the opposite intent, and has done wonders for the work of Mormonism as an advertorial aid. In terms of narrative, the cheeky musical has its eyes firmly fixed on the insularity of apple-pieAmericana: it’s all big-scale jokes and high-class fun. Fans of such US backhandery will welcome this summer’s return of Rupert Goold’s sickly capitalist musical Enron. A Fringe revival gets underway at the Bridewell Theatre (from July 10) and will be one to watch. The mechanics of a bigproduction musical will prove a cool challenge on a lesser-sized stage such as this. Goold’s much-hyped new work, Chimerica, is a collaboration with playwright Lucy Kirkwood, and is scheduled to run at the Almeida until July 6. This is as much as I know at the point of writing, but it is worth noting that the theatre’s August and September scheduling is strangely blank. I’m not going to ignite extension rumours… but you saw it here first. Elsewhere on the Fringe, Josephine and I will provide the perfect excuse to trek up to the snug Bush Theatre (from July 17); while Alice in Wonderland at St Paul’s Church Garden (from July 30) and Titanic at the Southwark Playhouse (from July 31) suggest London theatre is obeying one particular formula this summer: supersized and spectacular. I

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LIFESTYLE

SAM BURNETT

Cars

CARS Exclusivity for All Everyone thinks they can build luxury cars, but no one does it like the British. Feel the walnut, smell the leather and pop the kettle on…

e looked last summer (ah, the Olympics; so long ago) at some international-ﬂavoured cars that are built in the UK, busting fairly well the myth that we don’t make anything in the UK anymore. Of course, we mostly make dull Toyota engines, humdrum Nissans and city car

runabouts for estate agents, but there’s a rich boat of motoring gravy to be enjoyed if you look in the right places. Take Jaguar, for instance. The company has improved beyond anyone’s standards in recent years, since it was set free from the controlling mega-corporate shackles of Ford. The Blue Oval wanted to turn Coventry’s purveyor of fine saloons into a mass-market churn of re-

clad Mondeos and upmarket tat. It even had a Formula 1 team, for goodness’ sake, albeit a hopeless one. Ford’s problem wasn’t that it couldn’t make Jaguar work, but rather that it just didn’t understand what it’s for. Indian business magnate Ratan Tata got it, and his eponymous company (the biggest you’ve never heard of) gets $100 billion through the tills every year, so it has the financial clout to get Jaguar going again. On the one hand, then, it’s great that the XF range has finally got an estate model to complement its line-up, but on the other hand Jaguar has taken its sweet time. The XF has been on the market for five years, and has already received the obligatory midlife facelift. Only now does Jag see fit to tack on a massive boot. Still, needs must – I got behind the wheel of the 3.0-litre diesel model for a genteel spin. Immediately, the XF offers considered, weighty steering. It’s not an aggressively sporty car by any means, despite its effective f Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

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LIFESTYLE handling, which is tuned for comfort rather than handling. The 3.0-litre diesel engine is urgent without being uncouth, matching well with the XF’s character. The car is never in a particular hurry to rush you anywhere, which is possibly the fault of the eight-speed auto gearbox; the electronic gubbins under the bonnet counting on its metaphorical fingers to try and work out where to go next. It’s the only option as far as gears go, however. The modern Brit is far too busy to shuffle cogs himself. The centre stack hems you in, like a partition wall through the front of the car. It doesn’t induce claustrophobia, but rather has the air of a teensified business class setup. This is helped by the wireless headphones for the passenger that nestle in the glove box; the XF using Jaguar’s split-screen technology in the front so that driver and passenger can look at different things at the same time. Jaguar has a real flair for the dramatic these days: the air vents whirr round out of nowhere as you fire up the car and the rotary gear selector rises up out of the dash. The interior aesthetic is still more vodka bar than gentlemen’s club, too. There is no more retro indulgence in this new era. That’s not to say that everything has been chucked out; the boot carpet is trimmed with a lovely stretch of carpet. Your dog will thank you. The exterior styling is largely successful. You’d never be convinced by any claims that the car was designed from the outside to take an estate-style boot on its rump, but the extension isn’t disastrous. It is ungainly from some angles, purposeful and imperious from others. Ungainly is fine for an estate if it means you can haul your bits about the place. The boot floor is very high

and quite unimpressive, but this is the very lifestyliest of lifestyle estates. The criticism is probably unfair. The bald figures compare well with the likes of the BMW 5 Series estate, but the Mercedes E-Class load-lugger remains the daddy. Stupid name aside, the XF Sportbrake has a wondrous air of wafty indulgence about it, and could really be a British (rich) people’s car. It offers an impressive breadth of capability, able to fulfil the role of family taxi, executive cruiser and stand-in wedding car with aplomb. It’s an excellent car: quiet and very well-composed; sort of like a BMW with a soul. Bentley has long been saddled with an even more oppressive image than Jaguar’s: a sepia-tinted diorama of cricket on a Sunday afternoon; wicker-basket picnics; summer fetes; and elderflower cordial. That was challenged in the late-’90s when Volkswagen took over the company (admittedly from BMW) and started to dip into the corporate parts bin to replace items that had previously been hewn from solid chunks of pewter or mahogany or 1920s motoring clichés. A company needs to pay the bills, though, and we can accept that times must change. There have been no F1 teams or global saloon cars for Bentley, but the biggest test of the company’s reputation has come about from its dogged pursuit of unseemly clientele: gurning new money and slick-haired celebrities. The car that started all that oﬀ was the Continental GT back in 2005; a great barge of a coupe with sporting pretensions. It has been a grand success for the Crewebased lot, such that the second-generation car was launched at the end of last year. With the sunshine abounding (somewhere, so we’re told), we went for a drive in the soft-topped Continental GTC, tweaked conservatively for its second incarnation. You don’t so much slip behind the wheel as venture tentatively inside for a little explore. The car holds the seat and belt back about 300 metres behind the steering wheel until you press the start button and it resumes whatever driving position you’ve programmed into the memory. It smells like the inside of Mick Jagger’s wardrobe, all supple leather and polished wood.

IT’S AN EXCELLENT CAR: QUIET AND VERY WELLCOMPOSED; SORT OF LIKE A BMW WITH A SOUL. Once you’ve finished drinking in the sense of occasion and perhaps come up for air (the intricate, elegant roof drops very quickly, you know), the engine starts with a throaty whuffle. The steering has heft and authority, yet the car has to be easy to drive for all those 23-year-old foreign footballers who sashay behind the wheel, unused to right-hand drive. The Continental isn’t without its endearing anachronisms: take the A-pillars, for example. They’re so thick they block out entire buildings. You could feasibly take out an under-12s five-a-side football team and not notice until the screaming started. Or imagine two-anda-half tonnes trying to thread its way comically down a winding country road. Forget landing on the moon, it’s testament to the genius of our best boffins that this behemoth can even move. The weight has its advantages, of course. The ride smoothes everything out, and over larger bumps there’s a thwack as the car tries to beat the road into submission. The Bentley is a bit too fussy in places. I pressed the wrong button on a panel of what must have been 20 seat adjusters, attempting to manoeuvre my seat into the right position. For the rest of my drive the sumptuous leather seat massaged me with punches and inappropriate nudges, like being on a long-haul flight

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LIFESTYLE with a particularly irritating child behind me. Business class though, of course. There is none of the Jaguar’s studied cool here, either. The Bentley is a classy hotchpotch of quality materials and Volkswagen electronics; you can at least feel the care and attention the 175-year-old craftsmen back in the Bentley sheds at Crewe have been lavishing on your steed. The 6.0-litre W12 engine (like two lots of Vs lined up for some sort of mechanical ceilidh) produces a colossal 590 lb-ft of torque, and its 600 horses definitely qualify as a stampede. Accelerating and braking results in the driver’s view becoming a whiplash-inducing, wheel-sky-wheel-sky blur of neck trauma. It’s mostly because the bassy rumble on idle transcends to a gruff bark as you mash the throttle. The Bentley completely and utterly masks its insanely ridiculous weight, and the overall experience is completely addictive, which goes some way to explaining why you see so many Continental owners driving like complete pillocks across the posher wedges of central London.

A far more endearing paragon of British values is the Range Rover. This is the car that invented the notion of the city-based SUV back in the 1970s; the lifestyle accessory that said you were far too busy to go hunting at the lodge, but you could if you wanted to. Victoria Beckham might have her picture taken in Range Rovers (she designed a special edition Evoque last year, which looked great but the sound system was awful) and Daniel Craig, the brutalist Bond, was on hand for the car’s recent New York launch, but it has managed to shrug off the gauche associations of Bentley and risen far above its mud-plugging heritage to become a genuinely desirable and completely plausible luxury car. Now, I must confess here that I was rubbing my hands together before climbing gracelessly behind the wheel of the new Range Rover. I’d become sick of everyone saying how good it is, ‘the perfect all-round car,’ they’d simper. Don’t be ridiculous, I scoffed. It can’t be that good. But you know what? It quite possibly is the perfect all-round car. It’s imperious and enigmatic; wafting along with such elegance that it turns every journey into a ceremonial procession. The styling has been tightened up nicely on the latest version of the car, giving it a middle-aged lustre and a spring in its step. The gastric band has helped too: the RR has lost a colossal 320kg thanks to its aluminium monocoque. That’s practically the weight of an entire family, with room to throw in the

grandparents. Unlike the Continental GTC, you feel the Range Rover’s weight. It rolls a smidge and resists, reminding you of its stature before hunkering down and getting through a corner with no fuss. It doesn’t defy nature, but it does try to remind you of its accomplishment at every opportunity. I’d be quite happy to move into a Range Rover, and the company’s PR people reliably assured me that their special vehicles division could install some sort of gas cooker and a toilet if I was able to come up with the requisite cash. I pondered it for much longer than most would consider healthy. The Range Rover is a car to drive or be driven in, and it takes the amiable all-purpose characteristics that we liked so much on the XF estate and turns them all up to 11. It’s more desirable than the Bentley Continental and arguably more luxurious too. Whichever way you look at it, though, this is an impressive roster of cars from an impressive set of manufacturers with deep roots and extensive heritages. The Olympics might be over, the Jubilee decorations rotting in a distant landfill, but it’s still a great time to be British. If you’re a car, at least. I Perhaps the greatest driver of his generation, Sam Burnett is a Londonbased motoring writer, wit and conversationalist. He has previously worked in politics and the third sector, but deﬁnitely prefers ﬂying around the world and testing cars. In his spare time he blogs, tweets and does other faddish things before losing interest.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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aspinallfoundation.org

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LIFESTYLE

SIX OF THE BEST Flash Garden

After a long, wet winter, it’s ﬁnally time to get the lads round and dust oﬀ the barbecue. If you’re looking for the latest gadgets to spruce your garden up and get the party started this summer, look no further!

Land Geos Schwenkgrill 11064

Black and Decker Cordless Chainsaw GKC 1817 Designed for maximum safety and ease of use, this 18-volt cordless chainsaw can tackle the most challenging jobs in your garden. It can cut through branches up to 16cm in diameter and, with no cables to worry about, you can reach into even the most awkward of spaces.

RRP £95.71 www.waeplus.co.uk

This stylish grill makes a statement in any garden. You can cook a delicious barbecue for up to ten people, and it looks good as well! The chrome grill is 55cm in diameter, with a perimeter safety edge to protect chef and guests. It’s easy to adjust the height of the grill so that anyone can use it and the enamelled fire bowl takes charcoal or barbecue briquettes, so cooking is simple, clean and fun.

RRP £116.11 www.waeplus.co.uk

Bee Houses Who wants a bird box when you can have a bee box? These three bee houses are ideal for encouraging solitary bees into your garden to pollenate trees and flowers. Working bees very rarely sting, so they even make ideal pets. The houses are made from machined oak with a steel roof that will rust beautifully as it’s exposed to the elements.

Earthfire Ceramic Pizza Oven Get your garden ready for summer with this stylish new musthave: your own pizza oven. Handmade with a durable glazed finish and oak handles, this modern, outdoor oven will cook pizzas to perfection. It will heat up in about 30 minutes and provide two hours’ cooking time without refuelling; making entertaining al fresco hassle-free this summer.

RRP £8 each or £22 for the set of three

RRP £349 www.grenadier.co.uk

www.rowenandwren.co.uk

Looftlighter

Hot-Pot BBQ You’ve finished work for the week, the sun is shining and you’re out in the garden enjoying a tasty barbeque. Fed up with dragging the rusty BBQ out of the shed? Then just use the Hot-Pot BBQ, the BBQ that’s hidden inside a flower plot. Just take off the lid and the BBQ is underneath; secret, hidden and ideal for some summer fun!

This fabulous, mains-operated firelighter gives you added control over when you’re ready to start cooking, meaning you’ll never have to stand in the wind trying to light your BBQ with matches again. What’s more, the Looftlighter has a built-in bottle opener, which means you can sit back and relax with a beer while the Looftlighter does the hard work for you.

RRP £69.95 www.glow.co.uk

RRP £99 www.prezzybox.com Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

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LIFESTYLE

TOP GEAR

The greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find

Sorted. TOP BUY

The Hope & Glory Coffee Machine These high-quality coffee machines and easy-to-use pods give you all the tools you need to become a barista at home. The pods come in a choice of eight different blends, so you can enjoy coffee shop quality coffee in the comfort of your own home, every day.

RRP: £349 (pods from £6.25 for a box of 25, so around 25p per cup!) www.hopeandglorycoffee.co.uk

The Everything Chair Quite simply, this is the best seat in the house when it comes to relaxing, gaming and listening to your tunes. Featuring sunken speakers in the headrest, a sunken drinks holder, and pockets for your games console, remote, tablet and magazines, this inflatable seat is one seriously cool chill-out chair.

RRP £49.99 www.iwantoneofthose.com

Sorted. TOP BUY Rival Cosmetics specialist Oriflame has launched a new scent inspired by boxing. Rival Eau de Toilette packs a punch with exhilarating notes of black coffee, scents from the aromatic vu huong tree and effervescent citrus zests. This stylish spray is packed full of physical strength and minimalistic cool.

RRP £13.95 for 75ml www.oriflamestore.co.uk 34

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Goodyear Falcon Shoes Given that tyres and shoes share a common need for grip, traction, performance and durability, it’s no surprise that Goodyear also makes shoes. From the rubber used for its tyres to the rubber on the soles of its shoes, product bearing the Goodyear logo will perform in all conditions.

RRP £75 www.debenhams.com

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LIFESTYLE

Sorted. TOP BUY

Revellutions RC Cars

Heroes and Villains Cushion Life is all about balance. Yin and yang, left and right, chocolate and vanilla and, of course, good versus evil. The Heroes and Villains Cushion celebrates this timeless tussle with a very eclectic assortment of characters from across the super (and slightly less so) spectrum.

RRP £34.99 www.firebox.com

When it comes to our favourite boys’ toys, cars are always high on the wish list. Unlike anything else around, this highly professional range of RC cars for 8 to 12-year-old boys (yeah, right) features great designs and extraordinary features for pure driving fun.

RRP £39.99 to £89.99 www.revellutions.de/en

Doctor Who Twin Pack To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world’s longest running sci-fi series, Doctor Who, Toys R Us has launched a special five-inch action figure collection that includes all 11 current reincarnations of the Doctor alongside his most infamous foe: the Daleks.

RRP £19.99 www.toysrus.co.uk

Flip Alarm Clock Recognising that most people are absolutely useless in the mornings, the Flip Alarm Clock dispenses with complicated settings and control panels. Lightweight and colourful, it’s the clock that keeps things simple. Featuring a big, bold design, there are two sides to this timepiece – ON and OFF – meaning you just flip it to the side you need.

RRP £28.99 www.firebox.com

Sorted.

Animal Butt Magnets Looking a bit like a scene from Jumanji, these highly detailed, moulded magnets make it appear that a selection of African beasts have tried to walk through your fridge. Sadly, it would seem that they didn’t quite make it, leaving you with some highly entertaining hindquarters that are perfect for notes, bills and general fridge-related paraphernalia.

RRP £12.99 www.firebox.com

TOP BUY SuperTooth HD Voice For safe conversation behind the wheel, look no further than the SuperTooth in-car speakerphone; compatible with all Bluetooth-enabled mobile phones and smartphones. It boasts two speakers and two microphones for excellent sound quality, and a three-hour charge provides 20 hours of talk time and 40 days standby time.

RRP £59 www.amazon.co.uk Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

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LIFESTYLE

PETER HORNE

60 Second Life Coach © Petesaloutos | Dreamstime.com

From Last to First

very Sunday morning, as my family zips down the A23 towards the iconic St Peter’s Church in Brighton, we notice the myriad diﬀerent types of people who are out pounding the streets. Some look distinctly more energetic than others, but we always admire their dedication to running despite the obvious inconvenience of the British weather waging war against them and hampering their progress. As I write this column, we’ve just enjoyed the London Marathon with its usual array of colourful characters and barmy behaviours. This year’s participants included newsreader Sian Williams. Sian was determined to succeed, despite nearly losing her life in the New York City Marathon in 2001 when she collapsed with hyponatraemia (when an excess of water is consumed, diluting essential salts in the blood). As I’ve reflected on the qualities of people who succeed in these epic quests, I came across an illuminating book entitled From Last To First, written by a previous marathon winner. Charlie Spedding may not be well known to many of us, but he has a claim to fame in the world of long-distance running. His achievements contrasted greatly with his first sporting experience as a child, when he managed to come last in his first race on school sports day. Somehow this failure did not deter 36

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him, and his book provides some useful insights into the mindsets and actions required to win. Charlie writes: “I believe that my Olympic medal was not won through physical ability, but by utter commitment to the Olympic ideal.” He recalls having an epiphany over a pint, when he realised he needed to change his selfimage and especially some of his self-talk. He became aware that perhaps in his unconscious mind he had been viewing himself as someone who could run quite well but not actually win. When asked by friends and colleagues about how his running was going, he habitually used the phrase “not bad”. Charlie noticed that from the abundance of appropriate words available to him in the English language, he had selected the word “bad” to describe his efforts towards success. Being a winner takes attitudes and behaviours that are considerably better than average. The average person typically uses the phrase “not bad” to describe various aspects of their life. Charlie elected to behave differently. He realised that if he changed his vocabulary, he could change the thoughts in his head. If he changed his thoughts, he would change his actions. If he changed his actions, he would get different results. Charlie wrote down the change he had decided to make. On a piece of paper, under the heading “Think differently”, he wrote: “Improve my vocabulary = run faster”. He added to this another behavioural change.

Every time he had an optimal training session, he told himself that the training had been perfect. He believed his unconscious mind would store this.

BEING A WINNER TAKES ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOURS THAT ARE CONSIDERABLY BETTER THAN AVERAGE. When it came to the big race, while other runners might be telling themselves to run harder than ever (a feat that might not be possible), Charlie told himself that he would need to run the perfect race. His unconscious mind would then know that this was achievable because there was already a bank of valuable experiences to draw from. Charlie’s methodology was simple genius. The results speak for themselves: Charlie won the London Marathon in 1984 and a bronze medal in the Los Angeles Olympics in the same year. I Peter Horne is a qualiﬁed life coach with a passion for helping people change stuﬀ in their lives when they feel stuck. He works with individuals and organisations, and can be contacted at enquiries@therealyou.eu. Peter is married with four children and attends St Peter’s Church in Brighton.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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JAHMENE DOUGLAS

Douglas is Jahméne Man BY JOY TIBBS

f you’ve never seen Jahméne Douglas’ first appearance on The X Factor, I strongly advise you to check it out on YouTube; it will blow your mind. I’ll set the scene… This terrified young guy in a grey suit steps onto the stage in front of four famous judges, a huge studio audience and the millions of people watching from home. He explains that he works in Asda – in the markdowns aisle – and lives in Swindon. This nervous-looking young lad neither looked nor sounded like he would be the next big thing. He then announced he was going to sing Etta James’ “At Last”, and the audience appeared fairly nonplussed. Some probably didn’t know the song, and others were thinking, how is he ever going to pull off that soulful little number? But then he sang his first note, and those that had been looking at the floor and picking their teeth sat up in their seats and fixed their gazes on this unassuming guy with the massive voice. At one point you could see Nicole Scherzinger pointing out her goose-bumped arms to fellow judge Gary Barlow. I got them myself. At the end of the song, the audience stood to their feet almost with one accord (almost, because some were already on their feet) and the judges did exactly the same. No one had seen that coming! At this point, Jahméne is choked up, his mum is weeping backstage and the applause goes on and on and on. “You are a revelation,” gushes Louis Walsh. “Jahméne, you’ve got the X Factor. This is what we’re looking for. I think a star is born.” Louis was right. Looking back on that day, Jahméne tells Sorted: “It was always a dream of mine [to be a singer], but I never thought it would become something tangible. I was just like, ‘Whoa! Everything is just falling into place.’”

“EVERY WEEK I WAS JUST WANTING TO NOT BE IN THE BOTTOM TWO. I HAD NO IDEA WHY PEOPLE VOTED FOR ME!”

A lot of nerve But although he got through the ﬁrst audition with four emphatic yeses – seven if you count Nicole’s four – he soon started to feel the pressure. Jahméne admits that he has always been a worrier, a stay-at-home kind of guy who doesn’t “mingle very well”. He was criticised by some for the giggle that followed almost everything he said and, as he stood in the wings ready to perform, he became increasingly ﬂustered. On one occasion Louis and Nicole had to come and give him a pep talk as he 38

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JAHMENE DOUGLAS had started to feel sick and dizzy with the nerves. “Each week that passed I started to think more about what people thought of me,” he explains. That first night he had been so tired and had so little to lose, he just sang his heart out. But further into the competition he started to panic about how people would react. “Every week I was just wanting to not be in the bottom two. I had no idea why people voted for me!” he says. The experience was a great one for Jahméne, though, mainly because he was surrounded by so many supportive people. He describes life with the other contestants as being “just like a massive family”. “I was quite close to James from the beginning, but every single person was great. Every time someone left, it was like, ‘Nooooo!’” Jahméne recalls. And he couldn’t have asked for more from a mentor than he got from Nicole, former lead singer of American girl group The Pussycat Dolls. “For me, Nicole was a massive blessing,” he tells Sorted. “If I’d got anyone else it would have been totally different; she got me right from the beginning. She’s like my big sister now. I still get emails from her with scriptures from the Bible. She’s my rock.” The support he received helped him to shake off the nerves and come up with some incredible performances, including a rousing rendition of Beyoncé’s “Listen” and a pretty special version of The Beatles’ “Let it Be”. “When you’re not confident with something, the more you do it the less of a problem it becomes,” Jahméne explains. “Just keep doing it.”

On second thoughts And that’s exactly what he did. Jahméne blasted into the Manchester-based final against James Arthur and the pair sang their hearts out. Even special appearances from Kelly Clarkson, Rita Ora and Kylie Minogue weren’t enough to faze the two finalists, both of whom deserved their places in that final. Then the moment of truth came and, after the longest pause of their young lives, James Arthur was declared the winner of The X Factor 2012. Naturally, one would expect Jahméne to be crushed by this; to have fallen at the last hurdle after running such a strong race. But on hearing the news he just gives James a lengthy hug and lets his friend enjoy the moment that James has also worked so hard for. He doesn’t cry; in fact, he can be seen in the background smiling and applauding James’ victory. Jahméne explains that he had always hoped to come second. I initially struggle to believe this, but his reasons make sense. He felt the prize – a record deal with Syco – might not have been the best thing for him because it could have forced him down more of a pop route, and that clearly isn’t where the young singer excels. f

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JAHMENE DOUGLAS I wonder, though, if Jahméne would have had a change of heart if the record labels hadn’t come banging on his door shortly afterwards. He was snapped up by RCA Records in January, and the release date for his debut album, Love Never Fails, is July 22. Asked to describe the album, he simply says: “I’d describe it as just me, to be honest. I give people what they want from me.” There are rumours that some of the tracks are inspired by soul legends such as Marvin Gaye and Aretha Franklin, and there is also speculation that former mentor Nicole will make a vocal ‘appearance’ on the record. According to Jahméne, he has mixed feelings about the album launch. “Your ﬁrst album is your baby,” he says. “You don’t know if it will go well or not. I’m excited but scared.” With further rumours circulating about a possible record deal in America, he certainly has every reason to be excited.

“ONCE, BECAUSE I BIT MY NAILS, HE PUT A KNIFE UNDER MY NAIL UNTIL IT STARTED BLEEDING. ANOTHER TIME HE STOPPED ME FROM EATING FOR TWO DAYS. I WAS ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT.”

Fighting back But life hasn’t always been plain sailing for Jahméne. In fact, he would probably rather forget some of his earlier experiences. He, his two brothers and two sisters lived in a perpetual state of fear as children because of their violent and sadistic father. Eustace Douglas regularly beat his wife and also picked on his children. Jahméne told The Sun: “It was just torture. It would turn my stomach every time I saw my father. I was living in fear. “He would flip over anything. You didn’t lie, you didn’t swear, you didn’t put a foot out of place. “But he’d always find something. Then you’d never know what he would do. There was a spectrum of things: hitting you with a belt or a spatula, beating or strangling you. “Once, because I bit my nails, he put a knife under my nail until it started bleeding. Another time he stopped me from eating for two days. I was about seven or eight.” Things came to a head when Jahméne’s longsuffering mother was imprisoned by Eustace in the couple’s bedroom for three days. He tortured her so savagely with a blow torch and knives that when she finally came out of the bedroom, she was unrecognisable; even to her children. Eustace was finally jailed for nine years (although he was only incarcerated for five) for the attack, which he served alongside a concurrent sentence of six years for rape. Fearing reprisals, the family were forced to stay in refuges and even to change their names to escape the man who had torn the family apart. Shortly after Eustace was released from prison, Jahméne’s brother Daniel was found dead. It is believed he took his own life. Jahméne admits he had felt suicidal himself at times, but that he never thought about it again after this tragic event. Now he is determined to speak out about domestic violence as a means of preventing situations like his from arising, and in a bid to change legislation so that it is the victims, not the “villains” who are protected and supported. Mandy now works for Women’s Aid, and both are passionate about raising awareness of and funds for the anti-domestic violence charity.

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Keeping the faith It seems incredible that someone like Jahméne has been able to leave the horrors of the past behind and live such a high-profile life, but he hints that his past experiences may actually have played a part in his rise to fame. Asked what made him decide to apply for The X Factor, he says: “I think I was trying to take control of things. When you’re under witness protection, you don’t get to do things like that.” Unlike some contestants who bear their souls right from the off, Jahméne didn’t say a word about his past on the show. The story didn’t come out until around week six, and although he had been expecting media outlets to find out, he recalls that it was still a shock to see the papers filled with the tales of his father’s violence. It was his inner strength, the support of friends and family, and his faith in God that got Jahméne through this. According to Jahméne, his faith has also helped him to avoid some of the traps other young people in his situation have fallen into: mainly the drinking and womanising. He wears a purity ring as a commitment to staying celibate until he gets married, and he takes great strength from his faith. “It has kept me level-headed and humble,” he reveals. His main ambition now is to reach out to people through his music, to make it “a sanctuary” for others. “I hope it can give someone strength,” he says. Asked what advice he would give to people who are struggling with life, Jahméne says: “Never let anyone define your inner happiness. Shine your light, because you never know who you are inspiring to do the same. Surround yourself with positivity… and keep smiling!” I As well as serving as deputy editor of Sorted, Joy Tibbs runs an editorial service called Joy of Editing (www.joyofediting.co.uk). Her clients include businesses, authors and churches across the UK and beyond. Follow her on Twitter (@joyous25) to find out more.

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PETER GLADWIN

FIRE IN MY BELLY “I’ve been there, made mistakes, fell into the pits. I’ve been able to share this with the prisoners and they can relate to that. When I was 13 I was in a remand centre for three months and people listen to people who have been there and have that experience. I’m just thankful God has given me the opportunity to turn my ashes into something positive.”

BY JOY TIBBS

eter Gladwin was nearly killed in a fire as a baby and bears the physical scars to this day. He was placed into a young offender’s institute at the age of 13. He was stabbed and left for dead as a teenager and then became the victim of a hit-and-run incident. He didn’t have any qualifications; instead he had a history of substance abuse, gambling and broken relationships. However, God saw something in Peter that very few others did, and he now travels from place to place telling people of the amazing things God has done in his life. His autobiography, Out of the Ashes – a powerful story in its own right – is now being used to reach people in prisons across the UK and beyond. Life has never been better for the evangelist. “I’ve always believed God had a plan for my life,” he tells Sorted. “It’s about ordinary people who just happen to be connected to an extraordinary God. He can even use our past in a positive sense. There’s an air of freedom in that; it’s quite liberating.

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“AFTER THE STABBING I COULDN’T WORK. I LOST THE USE OF MY ARM FOR TWO YEARS, AND AS A 15YEAR-OLD KID WHO HAS JUST LEFT SCHOOL, ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS WERE CRUSHED.”

Taking great pains As a child, Peter suffered high levels of physical pain. Although it didn’t claim his life, the fire he was rescued from left him with serious injuries and he underwent reconstructive surgery and a series of skin grafts. “I had to wear special boots with callipers,” he recalls. “The soreness of my feet was excruciating. I had to walk in these big black boots, it was agony.” The stabbing incident and the hit-and-run injuries were also extremely painful; however, the psychological effects were even greater. He explains: “After the stabbing I couldn’t work. I lost the use of my arm for two years, and as a 15-year-old kid who has just left school, all my hopes and dreams were crushed.” Peter went through a range of emotions: anger, fear, rejection, disappointment and utter despair. When he subsequently heard that his father had taken his own

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PETER GLADWIN life, he thought about throwing himself oﬀ a bridge. The physical and emotional pain seemed to be neverending, and Peter was ready to call it a day. He decided to pay one last visit to his mum, but while he was there, Peter’s sister Annette came round and told him about Jesus. He desperately needed help, and he knew his answer had come.

“I’M NOT IN PAIN TODAY, I FEEL FREE! I HAVE NO PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES ABOUT HOW I LOOK; IT’S ACTUALLY HELPING PEOPLE.” Peter explains: “My initial reaction was ‘Help!’ There was no thinking about it or contemplation, it was ‘I need help’. An hour earlier I was thinking about throwing myself oﬀ a bridge. I just thank God it was Him who knocked on the door! When you’re at your lowest point, God can meet you. “When I came to know Jesus, He healed me of the psychological and the physical pain; I’m not in pain today, I feel free! I have no psychological issues about how I look; it’s actually helping people. God is using it to help people stand up straight and overcome their insecurities. God has turned me around.” As the name of the book would suggest, Peter takes great comfort from the way God took his pain, misery and brokenness and gave him a completely new life; a life of hope. One of the Bible verses he clings to is 1 Samuel 2:8, which says: He raises the poor from the dust And lifts the beggar from the ash heap, To set them among princes And make them inherit the throne of glory. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, And He has set the world upon them. “In terms of human existence, the lowest you can be is the dust,” Peter says. “I was so low I was heading back to the dust. He has helped me to put my past behind me. So many people struggle to let it go, but God has given me a brand new life.”

Reaching out Not only has He turned Peter’s life around, God is also using him to encourage others who are struggling. He recalls one young guy who was in a “terrible” state. “He had been sniffing a can of gas and someone lit a match and it blew his face off,” Peter says. “Because of my experience, I was able to share with him. I could say to him that you can come through it, and you will eventually.” One of Peter’s main callings at the moment is to prisoners. He first heads to local churches near the prison he is planning to visit to encourage church members to support inmates; particularly those who are about to leave prison and need all the support they can get. He offers churchgoers the opportunity to sponsor copies of the book so they can be given to prisoners free of charge, and he also invites them to go with him so they can see the prisoners and their surroundings for themselves. “We go quite a lot to a prison in Milton Keynes,” reveals Peter. “This prison holds 12 to 18-year-old boys – I’ve got a 12-year-old boy! There’s a guy in there who is 14 and he’s in there for 14 years. Everybody has choices, but a lot of these young people don’t have good examples; they don’t have role models. These kids have so many issues, they just don’t stand a chance. They don’t know anything else. The authorities call it a ‘secure unit’, but it’s a prison.”

Preparing for something This work in itself is something of a miracle. Having been to Bible College, everyone thought Peter would end up travelling the world as an evangelist, but this didn’t happen at the time. He ended up working at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre for two-and-a-half years. “As you can imagine, the challenge and responsibility was tremendous,” he says. A job then opened up in the Probation Service and after another two-and-a-half years he was promoted to working in a prison. Having been on probation himself as a f

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PETER GLADWIN

teenager, Peter was now working in an environment he could well have ended up in long term if God hadn’t intervened. Instead of appearing in front of the judge, he was now serving the judge. But this was no coincidence; God was clearly preparing Peter for what he is doing now. “I didn’t really think anything would come of it in terms of ministry,” he admits. “When you come from where I’ve come from it’s quite incredible. I wouldn’t have been able to do that in my own strength. “We have our plans, but it’s His plans in the end that come to pass. He’s all-knowing: He knows our past and even our tomorrows. That gives me a real sense of security. It gives me a conﬁdence and a boldness; there’s a sense of anointing because you’re being sent. We can expect great things.”

Keeping it real There have been problems along the way, though, and one of the most refreshing things about Out of the Ashes is that Peter doesn’t gloss over these. When Peter’s wife Sarah discovered she had cancer in 2010, for example, he writes with great emotion and honesty. “What a shock that was,” says Peter. “All the way through, God was with us and Sarah is fully in remission today. “Sometimes Christians fall into the trap of thinking that everything has to be rosy. But it’s a diﬃcult road to travel, a humble road. When God gets hold of us it can be the toughest classroom experience you can have.” But the lows have certainly been balanced with some amazing highs. Peter explains: “I have such a full life now, from the ashes. I have a beautiful home in Wiltshire, but I’ve also slept rough on benches. I have a beautiful family: a gorgeous wife and three gorgeous children, and a wonderful ministry. This is all down to God’s grace and mercy.” Thousands of copies of the book have already been sold, and the feedback has been really positive. “If people can identify with it that’s wonderful; if they can connect with God, that’s even better,” Peter claims.

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“My hope is that the book will help people. A lot of evangelists go for the big numbers; I’m about that one person. Jesus talks about the 99 sheep and going after the one. If it connects with one person and they can get saved, then that means everything.” Not only is the book set to be published in French in the near future, there is even talk of turning Peter’s story into a musical! It’s deﬁnitely worth a read, regardless of your beliefs or background. Just make sure there’s a tissue box nearby. I

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BOB CORNUKE How did your adventures begin? After college I went to work for the police department just south of Los Angeles. I was on the SWAT team. I had a lot of action, a lot of dangerous situations. I was working in Crime Scene Investigation and found out I had a skill in investigation. I would ﬁnd a scrap of cloth, bullet hole or drop of blood when other men would miss it. I could see things and put things together in a crime scene and almost see it happening from the evidence.

‘I WALKED UP TO THE FRONT YARD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE HAD A RIFLE POINTING IN FRONT OF ME ABOUT 30 FEET AWAY. HE SAID:“ARE YOU A POLICEMAN?”’

A Real-Life Indiana Jones? Sam Hailes meets adventurer, explorer and archaeologist Bob Cornuke to discuss his search for the Ark of the Covenant and visits to other biblical sites. BY SAM HAILES

t reads like a plotline straight out of a movie: ex-SWAT team cop meets an astronaut and together they look for Noah’s Ark in the Middle East. Sometimes the truth is stranger than ﬁction. The ex-cop in question is Dr Bob Cornuke, and looking at his expedition history, it’s little wonder he’s so often compared to Indiana Jones. Now a Biblical archaeologist in his own right, Bob has spent years looking for sites including the Ark of the Covenant and Mount Sinai. These expeditions in search of biblical artefacts and sites have been as far from simple and easy as it’s possible to imagine. Bob has been arrested and shot at in foreign lands more than once. And as if that wasn’t enough to deal with, his groundbreaking work has attracted controversy in academic circles.

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Bob’s critics say his work can’t be trusted. The adventurer’s response is that you’re bound to get people’s backs up when your research leads you in a diﬀerent direction to the establishment’s long-held traditions. The feisty American has his own TV show stateside, but in the UK his name is unknown. However, Bob’s excitement and passion for his work is contagious. While he’s level-headed and grounded (keen to explain archaeology is only ever a best-guess rather than 100% fact), Bob is also charismatic and exudes enthusiasm. Many archaeologists are sceptical of the Bible’s historical reliability, but Bob’s beliefs are unshakable. He regards the Bible as historically, culturally and contextually reliable. And even the most hardened sceptic has to admit that Bob’s decision to use the ancient collection of books as a roadmap has paid oﬀ in some quite remarkable ways.

One afternoon I saw a lot of smoke coming out of this subdivision where these houses were and the radio said there’s a man who set his truck on fire. I was in an unmarked unit in plain clothes doing detective work. But I was right there, so I radioed back and said I’d take it. I didn’t know at the time, but the man who lit the truck on fire had done so with the intent of luring a policeman there and then killing him and committing suicide. [The man] had been arrested the night before for drunk driving and his family left him and he lost his job. So he went and bought 700 rounds of ammunition, drank a bottle of vodka, lit his truck on fire and thought ‘I’m going to kill a policeman and kill myself in the process’. I walked up to the front yard and all of a sudden he had a rifle pointing in front of me about 30 feet away. He said: “Are you a policeman?” I said no, figuring out real quick what his intent was, so I started backing up and he started shooting. I went behind the police car, radioed in and was pinned down. I had nowhere to go. After about three hours of shooting, he came out the door, we exchanged shots and he was dead. He was shot by myself and another policeman. I saw his eyes close and the life left him. It was hard. I came out to Colorado to meet my brother and was fishing with blue skies and green trees saying: “I’ve done this for almost ten years. I’m going to come out here and do something else.”

What was it about the incident that made you leave? I don’t know what it was. I don’t think it’s because I was afraid; I’m a pretty courageous guy. I just felt God had a different chapter in my life. I met a man named Jim Irwin and we became good friends. He was the eighth man to walk on the moon and the first one to drive the car on the moon. He said: “I’m looking for Noah’s Ark. Do you want to come with me?” I did. Being a buddy with a man who has walked on the moon was really cool. We went over to Turkey and were able to fly around the mountain. We got arrested and were put under

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BOB CORNUKE house arrest. It was on CNN and was big news: “Astronaut gets arrested in Turkey”. After we came back, the void in my heart from being a police oﬃcer and having that adventure and daily excitement of a challenge was ﬁlled with going and looking for Noah’s Ark and being part of an adventure.

What made you carry on even after Jim’s death? The family came to me and said: “Will you pick up the ﬂag that was dropped by him?” Those were their words. I did, and I’ve been doing this Bible archaeology thing forever now. So many trips, I can’t remember them all! We’ve done searches for Noah’s Ark in Turkey and Iran. We’ve done searches for the lost Ark of the Covenant and Mount Sinai. More recently, we believe with reasonable certainty we’ve located the four lost anchors of Paul’s shipwreck in Acts 24.

Where do you think the Ark of the Covenant is?

shocking to them. Their whole job is to keep it protected and unseen.

Do you have any idea what it looks like? I’ve been told what it looks like, and it’s not what Steven Spielberg has. The Bible says the top of the Ark is hammered gold, like a hubcap on a car. It’s not cast gold. It’s probably not more than six inches high (the lid of the Ark). It looks like a throne, they say, and not like these big angels you see.

Why do you use the Bible as a guide? I’ve been trying to find an error in the Bible and I haven’t. As a police officer, you say there has to be something there in the history that’s contradictory. I think the Bible is probably the most accurate historical document that has ever come into being. When you use the Bible as a roadmap it’s an excellent tool. I find it to be historically, prophetically and contextually accurate. I believe the Bible is a roadmap and a compass. I have scholars say all the time: “Bob, you’re so successful. You’re on Discovery Channel and

National Geographic and History [Channel]… What do you attribute this to?” I say: “I use the Bible”, and they go: “Oh what a great idea!”

Why has your discovery of what looks like the anchors from Paul’s shipwreck been so controversial? I’ve had people who have called me up and say: “I’m going to do everything I can to destroy your reputation because you’re going against tradition.” Last time I went to Malta there were police. People [were] holding up placards, a protesting group saying: “Stop messing with our traditions. Bob Cornuke is wrong”. They have a Catholic tradition that the shipwreck is somewhere else. I’m not going in there to hurt anybody, I’m just saying the evidence takes me in a direction and I have to have intellectual integrity and go with what the evidence says. I can’t just follow on tradition and emotion [and say] because we taught it, that’s what we have to believe. f

I believe the most likely site for the Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia. It’s a minority viewpoint, but [British writer] Graham Hancock has done a lot of research and is the pioneer in this area. I realised that Graham used the Bible as a roadmap in a way that I would have, so I went over there to follow in his footsteps. There were a lot of things I discovered he had missed even though he did a phenomenal job. I’ve spent a lot of time with the ‘Guardian of the Ark’, so I believe I’ve compiled the most voluminous amount of research on the Ark of the Covenant to date.

Do you know for sure that it’s there? I believe they either have the Ark of the Covenant that was made at Mount Sinai, or they have a replica that they believe to be the Ark of the Covenant and it’s so convincing to them that they believe and the whole country believes. I’ve taken 19 trips over there with people. I’ve taken a lot of sceptics; a lot of people who have come over just to disprove me. Not one person who has gone with me and seen all the evidence has come back and said this is not where the Ark of the Covenant is. I even had one man come over, a big scholar who said: “I’m here to destroy your theory.” Six months after we came back from Ethiopia he came to my house with a big stack of papers and said: “I’m here to humbly say I’m sorry. I went there to destroy your theory, now I’m writing a paper on it. They have the Ark of the Covenant.”

If the Ethiopians have it, why don’t they show it to the world? In the Western world we say: “If you’ve got it, show the beef.” I’ve a beautiful wife. Could I have her go up on stage and show her body? Certainly, I could force her to do that. Would it be a horrible thing to do? Yes. It’s outside of our calibrations of decency. I respect her, honour her and protect her. That’s what they do with the Ark. If you told them to show you the Ark it would be that

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The Ark of the Covenant The Ark is described in the Bible as holding the two tablets of stone that the Ten Commandments were written on. The wooden box is thought to be goldplated and carried on poles inserted into rings. Dr Cornuke’s look at the evidence led him to the Ethiopian Orthodox Church, which has claimed to possess the Ark for the past 3,000 years. Other archaeologists believe the Ark was destroyed long ago. A minority view is that the Ark currently resides underneath the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. Another view is that the Ark is in Ireland and is the source of the legend that claims there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

‘I USE THE BIBLE AS A ROAD MAP, THAT’S MY INTELLIGENCE. THAT’S WHAT GIVES ME THE DIRECTION I NEED TO GO.’

it’s located if it’s ever found. We need to realise we have an ark in Christ today that’s right in front of us. That’s the important ark; that’s the real ark. If you go on board that ark you’re safe, and if you’re not on that ark you perish. The door is open on the ark now for us to go into. The real prize, the real treasure, is not the ark, but to be on the ark with Christ.

Why has your work attracted so much criticism?

You’ve spent a lot of time in Ethiopia. Other than looking for the Ark of the Covenant, what have you been doing there?

I get criticised on the internet because people don’t know me. I have intellectuals attack me personally if they can’t beat me intellectually. My wife says: “Doesn’t it really destroy you when you see these people saying horrible things?” Ninety-nine percent are not true, and I sit there and say if you’re over the target, you’re going to get shot at. CS Lewis’ stepson Douglas Gresham told me: “Bob, if you’re wrong they wouldn’t attack you. It’s because you’re right and you’re touching a nerve and finding these things it’s causing these critics to go crazy because their life is predicated on the ego of being a scholar and having people adore them for being a scholar.” I’ll tell you right now I can’t even find the car in the parking lot when I leave church on a Sunday. My wife jokes and says: “You can’t even find your keys.” I don’t have to be a great explorer. I use the Bible as a road map, that’s my intelligence. That’s what gives me the direction I need to go.

Can you ever be 100% sure about where these sites are?

Noah’s Ark The story of God flooding the earth but saving Noah and his family on a giant boat is thought to have occurred around 5,000 years ago. According to the Bible, Noah’s Ark was about 450 metres long, 22 metres wide and 13 metres high, and it came to a final resting point on Mount Ararat. A 2011 search for the Ark led many to believe the mountain and ark had been found in Turkey. Dr Cornuke has explored the same region, but now believes the Ark is east of Lake Urmiah in Iran.

Anchors St Paul’s shipwreck is detailed in the Bible book of Acts, in chapter 27. The event is thought to have occurred around 60AD, when a ship carrying 276 men shipwrecked off the coast of Malta. For the past 500 years, many in Malta claimed the event occurred off the northeast shore of the island. However, Dr Cornuke believes St Thomas’ Bay on the southeast side of the island is the actual site of Paul’s shipwreck. Four anchors were recently retrieved from those waters and are believed to be the ones the Bible describes.

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In archaeology it’s not about empirical evidence; it’s a guess. It’s degrees of probability. We can put someone in jail for life on degrees of probability. A jury will hear this and say: “We didn’t see him do it, but the evidence is convincing enough.” There are only two ways you can tell empirical truth: that’s pure logic and physics. Archaeology is overrated in America. They think an archaeologist can find something and make this great proclamation and they can’t. Archaeology doesn’t prove the Bible; it illuminates truths that already exist within the Bible. To me this is a flashlight. The story of the history is dark and we’ve just scanned a flashlight and seen evidence that corroborates what the Bible says. Would I bet everything I own? I would bet everything I own right now that that is Paul’s shipwreck. Would I bet my life? No! Because there’s always a degree of uncertainty in archaeology.

You’ve been looking for Noah’s Ark. How significant would it be if you found it? It’s old wood, it’s done its job. It’s an old carcass of a ship long ago used and mentioned in the Bible. [It’s] certainly an artefact of intrigue and fascination to me, but the worry that I have is [that] people would start worshipping this wood. They’d take it home and say: “It could heal me.” That’s not what God wants. It’s not idols we need to create here. The ark is a symbol of Jesus Christ. We have an ark today in Christ. That’s who we should be worshipping, not something over on a mountainside in Iran or Turkey, or wherever

We go there every year and start a medical clinic. Every year I take doctors with me and people who’ve never seen a doctor come over. They were dying of TB, for instance. We give them medicine and they’re all healed! We’ve helped 3,000 people see doctors. We’ve put 500 people in homes over the years. We have 100 people going into foster care. We built this beautiful school over there with blackboards, benches and great schoolteachers. That wouldn’t be there unless every time I went back I started helping the poor. I helped start it and get the seed money. I don’t have that on my internet; you don’t hear that from anyone else. That’s because I feel God is using me to do that. Everyone wants to know the reason why Mount Sinai is there and Noah’s Ark is there. I look for these things to try and change people’s hearts and help. It’s diﬀerent, what I do this stuﬀ for. It inspires people to go to the Bible and that the Bible could be true. I tell [people] to look at the Bible and check it out for yourself. Full details of Dr Cornuke’s research can be found at www.baseinstitute.org. I Sam Hailes is a freelance journalist from Southampton. He can be found on Twitter @samhailes.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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PIERCE BROSNAN

LOVE IS

ALL YOU NEED Pierce Brosnan never thought he would ﬁnd love again when he lost his ﬁrst wife to cancer, but he claims second wife Keely Shaye Smith has helped him to become a better man. BY VERONICA PARKER

igh up in a Toronto hotel suite, Pierce Brosnan surveys the skyline while he admits to being at something of a crossroads in his career. He is comfortable in the knowledge that he has already achieved the lofty goals he set out for himself as a young man. “I wanted fame, fortune, and all the grand things in life; and I got it,” Brosnan muses. “But that doesn’t really fuel you to the next stop. You need to keep pushing yourself and looking for different avenues to explore. I’m at an interesting place in my life. I like the idea that I don’t know what direction my career will take.” Brosnan’s leading-man good looks and his ability to project dashing determination as well as anguish have helped him soar as James Bond, Thomas Crown and various other screen incarnations. His new film, however, is arguably his most challenging role yet. In Love is All You Need, a romantic comedy drama directed by Oscar-winning Danish filmmaker, Susanne Bier (responsible for In a Better World), Brosnan plays a widower who falls in love with a hairdresser who is recovering from chemotherapy and a mastectomy in southern Italy. Brosnan lost his first wife Cassandra Harris to ovarian cancer in 1991, and he admits he has shied away from films that cut too close to home. But this was a story that resonated so deeply that he “couldn’t avoid” facing up to some of his darker memories. Also, at 59, Brosnan feels he has benefited from the effects of ageing on his matinee idol appearance, giving him an added gravitas. And the Irishman doesn’t have

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much cause to brood these days. He met his second wife Keely Shaye Smith, a journalist and environmentalist, at a Hollywood beneﬁt in 1994, and the couple are parents to two sons, Dylan, 16, and Paris, 12. Keely, 47, also helped Brosnan raise the three children he had from his previous marriage. They divide their time between homes in Kauai in Hawaii and Malibu in California. In recent years, Brosnan has found a new passion for acting in a series of diverse ﬁlms including Matador, Mamma Mia!, The Greatest (which he also produced) and The Ghost Writer.

I’M AT AN INTERESTING PLACE IN MY LIFE. I LIKE THE IDEA THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT DIRECTION MY CAREER WILL TAKE.” We caught up with Brosnan to ask him what it was about Love is All You Need that attracted him. I jumped at the chance to work with Susanne Bier. I had seen her previous film, In a Better World, thought it was a brilliant piece of filmmaking and that made me very open to doing the film. I felt a connection to the story of a widower, which has been a huge part of my own life, and I wanted to reach into those feelings of loneliness and isolation that I had once experienced. I wouldn’t have made this film 10 or 15 years ago. But time has passed, and I felt it would be an interesting step forward in my career; and it was a great joy being able to work with Susanne. f

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PIERCE BROSNAN AVTA/FAMOUS

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FAMOUS

PIERCE BROSNAN

Much of the story seems to revolve around the idea of people falling in love again in middle age… It’s a difficult situation for many people. It’s not the same as when you’re in your twenties and thirties and making your way in the world. You’ve lived through so many things, and you may have become hardened by your journey in life and you don’t have that emotional openness or idealistic set of expectations when it comes to love and romance. Life can wear you down and you have to fight hard to maintain your spirit. This film celebrates life and suggests that we should always have hope and faith that you can find love again and you shouldn’t give in to fear or pessimism. Things may just work out!

So ultimately, the film is saying you have to give in to love? He ﬁnds someone who makes him feel alive again. Love is a very hard thing and a very gorgeous thing. To feel something so strong in your heart and in your belly when you see someone who makes your world happy; it’s beautiful. I think Susanne captures it in the ﬁlm. Life is harsh and getting harsher, and there is a lot of confusion and bleakness. Susanne understands that, but she has such humanity. So when you see a movie like this, it’s a breath of fresh air. Your career has been marked by your turn as James Bond. How do you situate that chapter in your career? James Bond was a great gift in my life. I had great success with the role, and it’s a gift that keeps on giving in many respects. It was my chance to be centre stage and enjoy all the attention and fame and fortune that comes with that. It’s a small group of men who have played the role, and

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now it’s my time to do interesting work and embrace all the unexpected surprises that come my way and really, just play. My wife calls it legal cheating. The whole Bond experience let me play it all out as a man and as an actor, and then go home to my wife and my family. It’s what we all strive for in a way. But sometimes, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Were you frustrated by the way your tenure as Bond came to a close? (Brosnan was replaced by Daniel Craig after contract negotiations to do a fifth Bond film broke down.) It didn’t end the way I wanted it to, but those are the trials of being an actor. When I was first offered the role [in 1986], the fine print in my [Remington Steele] contract prevented me from becoming Bond even though [producer] Cubby Broccoli did everything he could to get the network to let me do it.

You’ve often said that you were lucky to find love again when you met Keely. You’ve also enjoyed a very long marriage with her when so many other Hollywood stars’ marriages fail. How have you made your marriage work? You learn to stay the course. You work at supporting each other and caring for each other even if the love and intensity aren’t always present the way it was when you ﬁrst met. All couples face that prospect, and that’s why it’s so important to be great friends and work through the diﬃcult times, because you know this is the woman you love with all your heart.

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PIERCE BROSNAN Gianmarco Maggiolini/FAMOUS

Is parenting easier the second time around? Parenting is never easy. Every father and mother on earth will testify to that! But I have to say that having had the experience of raising children previously, you have a much better understanding of how to deal with situations because you’ve already gone through similar events. I feel I have a much better sense of when to be very easygoing and when to lay down the law if our sons cross the line. Keely, though, is a fantastic mother, and she has helped me be an even better father just because of the kind of perceptive and loving woman that she is.

Did you learn any lessons from your earlier experience as a father? Yes. I learnt from my time as stepfather to Cassie’s children and then as a father to our son. You learn the skills of patience and understanding, and just being there for your children. While I was a single father raising three children it was a very different and hard experience, because my finances weren’t that good until Bond came along and it was a very stressful time. You try to do your best and my greatest concern was trying to find enough film roles and not have to work on another TV series, because that means you’re gone from morning to night five days a week, eight or nine months a year. I desperately wanted to avoid that for the sake of my children. Fortunately, Bond came along at a time when I really needed that kind of a gift in my life.

Do you ever wonder how you held things together through those difficult times? I’ve always been grounded by my Irishness. And religion and faith has helped, too. You also don’t have any choice but to take your responsibilities in life as a father very seriously and you become pragmatic. I didn’t expect to fall in love again the way I did with Keely, and when it happened it was such a beautiful moment in my life. When somebody truly captivates you, it can be as simple as that… and as complex as that.

How do you think you’ve changed over the years? I’m the same person I was when I started out. I’d like to think I’m much wiser and even more open as an individual than when I was younger and still scarred in many ways by my upbringing. [Brosnan’s father left his mother when he was a child and he was raised for many years by his grandparents]. You learn to close oﬀ certain sides of yourself as a form of self-protection until you begin to realise that you don‘t have to protect yourself anymore, and that those defences you’ve put up have become the real problem. Perhaps you never entirely unburden yourself of your past, but you do manage to ﬁnd peace of mind.

What effect has spending so much time in Hawaii had on you? It really doesn’t get much better than living in one of the most heavenly places on earth. It’s like Ireland, except the heating is turned on! Living by the ocean, being able to breathe the sea air, enjoying all the nature that surrounds us; it’s truly magical. It’s also very peaceful and uncomplicated. We swim, we go on nature tours, I paint, Keely gardens, and we don’t worry about anything other than the wellbeing of our sons.

What has your marriage to Keely meant to you? Much more than you can describe in any short answer. She’s a very strong woman who has been a truly loving and caring partner in life. She’s made me a better father and man, and we’re so blessed to have been able to share our lives together. She allows me to be myself and we’ve been able to build our relationship over the years and, together with my children, that’s my greatest accomplishment in life. I Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

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Everett Collection/Rex Features

PIERCE BROSNAN

Bond Lives Another Day BY MARTIN LEGGATT

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Maybe Bond had to become awful (and please don’t take this as a slight, Mr Dalton, I really rate your other work) to become great again. It could be argued that, had it not been for Brosnan’s inability to extricate himself from his long-running contract on American TV series Remington Steele, there would have been no Dalton; but ironically, I’d guess that this enabled Brosnan to become a better Bond when he dramatically leapt onto the screen. Sure, it was a stuntman, but as a lifelong Bond fan I’d go on record and say that the opening to Goldeneye is one of the best opening sequences to a Bond ﬁlm. That bungee jump down the sheer face of the dam is simply awesome. Then there is the interaction between Bond and his colleague Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean playing against type), who turns traitor to his country and friend. Brosnan gives Bond just a tiny hint of vulnerability when he mourns the loss of his friend, but the steel is never far from the surface, and when he kills him in the inevitable ﬁnal confrontation, Travelyan asks him, “For England, James?” to which he coldly replies: “No. For me.” This steely edge of personal vengeance, rather than detached duty, was a character trait that Brosnan carried over to his subsequent outings. In Tomorrow Never Dies, which sees Bond taking on megalomaniac press baron Elliot

Moviestore Collection/Rex Features

any people picture James Bond as a muscular, deadly Daniel Craig leaping from high-rise cranes and across rooftops; the reinvented James Bond modern action hero. However, in the early nineties the franchise was in danger of extinction and Bond’s final mission seemed to be behind him. A pair of dismal ’80s Bond films starring a terribly miscast Timothy Dalton saw our greatest spy disappearing into obscurity and movie history. Then in 1995, after an enforced six-year hiatus, the 17th Bond mission blasted onto our screens with the fifth incarnation of 007. Bond was rescued by Pierce Brosnan. Brosnan’s appearance in Goldeneye was nothing short of awesome. Combining Connery’s tough, physical ruthlessness and Moore’s charismatic and irresistible charm, he became, at last, the resurrection of Bond. When Bond returned to the screen he found himself a displaced man; the old values of Bond had long since become replaced by a new model man – the nineties man – a man who was sensitive to his feelings, respectful of women and who wouldn’t be ashamed to eat quiche. Clearly, this new age man was the polar opposite of the hard drinking and womanising Bond of the past. Drawing short of eating the cheese-filled pastry and perhaps drawing on his tenure as Remington Steele, Brosnan became the perfect incarnation of Bond as a nineties man. He doesn’t totally eschew his old ways – each of his four outings sees him racking up a few more notches on the bedpost – but there is a new dynamic to his relationships with women. They are more than his equal, none more so than the new ‘M’, now a formidable woman played impeccably by Judi Dench. Signalling the need for Bond to change, she declares him to be “a sexist, misogynist dinosaur”.

COMBINING CONNERY’S TOUGH, PHYSICAL RUTHLESSNESS AND MOORE’S CHARISMATIC AND IRRESISTIBLE CHARM HE BECAME, AT LAST, THE RESURRECTION OF BOND.

Carver (Jonathan Pryce does a good job, but is still less scary than Rupert Murdoch) for duty, but also for personal vengeance after Carver kills his wife Paris (giving her usual wooden performance while looking good in lingerie), who happens to be an old love of Bond’s. Two years later in The World is Not Enough, it is vengeance for the deaths of one of his ‘00’ colleagues and adversary-become-good-friend, former KGB agent Valentin Zukovsky (a wonderful Robbie Coltrane reprise) in a convoluted plot that sees him take on an implausible villain who could feel no pain. In his final Bond adventure, Die Another Day, the storylines tended towards the more farcical and implausible days of Roger Moore’s Bond. The latest villain was a renegade North Korean general with designs on war who, after surviving death, was reborn as a handsome and well-spoken businessman-cum-OldEtonian played by Toby Stevens. There was an invisible Aston Martin and a dreadful cameo from Madonna, which I just wished was invisible. Not even Halle Berry doing an Ursula Andress impression could divert from the failings of this film. The only good thing about the whole thing was Brosnan. By the time Brosnan holstered the Walther for his final Bond mission in Die Another Day, the signs that it was time to move on were already there. Brosnan was approaching 50, and although he was still younger than Roger Moore in his final outing, there was a marked swing towards younger, more muscular heroes. I don’t think Pierce would have managed to fight off the challenge of that American upstart Bourne quite as well as Daniel Craig, but by then his mission had already been completed: Pierce Brosnan had saved James Bond. I

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BILLY GILVEAR This was a massive achievement, and Billy recalls the sense of pride he felt as his family watched him give orders. But when talk of a future promotion to officer was put forward, the old hunger resurfaced; he definitely wanted a slice of that action. He was sent to Beaconsfield for a Potential Officer Development Course (PODC), and this is where he first met Bev, who he later married. Beaconsfield represented something of a cultural awakening for Billy. Beer was replaced with Pimms and he was even given elocution lessons, which didn’t work at all, he tells Sorted. But Billy’s mind was elsewhere: he had fallen in love in “true military style” and it wasn’t long before the couple were engaged. Life couldn’t get much better for the Glaswegian, so when his parents rang and told him that God loved him and had a plan for his life, he brushed it off. He couldn’t imagine anything better than what he already had.

“WITHIN A SIX-YEAR PERIOD, I FOUND MYSELF IN A REALLY BAD PLACE. DRUGS HAD COMPLETELY TAKEN HOLD OF MY LIFE; I WAS A DRUG ADDICT.”

Stars in his eyes

A Fighting Chance BY JOY TIBBS

illy Gilvear was born in DR Congo, where his parents were missionaries. The family moved back to their native Glasgow when he was a boy, but he recalls being brought up under very strict Christian rules. A good deal of time was spent at church and reading the Bible, and before he had hit his teens, Billy decided Christianity was “for old people who liked tea and biscuits”. He couldn’t engage with it and knew he never would. The young Glaswegian had always dreamed of becoming a soldier, and joining the army suddenly presented him with the opportunity to escape the family faith. He joined up aged 16 and felt as though all his dreams had come true: it was everything he had hoped for and more. Not only was he away from all the preaching and praying, he also managed to work his way up the ranks really quickly. He was soon made up to lance corporal – the day he “became a man” – and then full corporal. He was then earmarked as one of four potential sergeants; the highest attainable rank for a junior leader at that time. “I was really hungry for acceptance and advancement,” Billy writes in his new book, Storming Home. “I longed for someone in authority to say, ‘Well done, son. You are the best’.” Despite a few hiccups along the way, he managed to attain the highly coveted promotion and found himself out in front.

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However, the greater the rank he achieved, the bigger Billy’s ego became. Once he had got to the top of the tree, he started to feel bored and restless again. Suddenly, the things he had achieved weren’t enough and he desired a new challenge. He was also getting to a point where alcohol was becoming a real problem rather than an occasional habit, and he felt his soldiering skills were suﬀering as a result. He knew it was time to get out. He lied to Bev – his wife by this time – telling her he had been forced to take medical discharge and that was that. He was given six months’ resettlement pay and by June 1992 he was a civilian again, and a disillusioned one at that. But Billy had been told by former colleagues that there was money to be made in providing security for the stars. He provided security services for a range of Alisters, including Robert Downey Jr, Kevin Costner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Naomi Campbell. Before long he was on the road looking after the biggest boy band of the time: Take That. Needless to say, underlying issues with anger and alcohol had by now come to a head, and drug-taking had also become a regular occurrence. The ﬁrst time he took cocaine, Billy remembers feeling really powerful, but this sensation was short-lived. “Within a six-year period, I found myself in a really bad place,” Billy divulges. Drugs had completely taken hold of my life; I was a drug addict.” He was completely caught up in the glitz and glamour of celebrity life and his relationship with Bev was severely strained. He was away a good deal and, when he was around, he lived an almost nocturnal life. As well as being addicted to drugs and alcohol, he was also a heavy steroid user. When it all got too much, Bev decided to leave Billy and return to Wales, where she was from, with their son Jordan in tow. The relationship was over, and it wasn’t long before the job was gone too. “I began to realise that I was now failing Bev and my newborn son,” he writes in the book. Nevertheless, Billy was in too deep. He wanted to get out, but his addiction to crack and need for money kept reeling him back in. Having been all but sacked from his job, he started to supply drugs and get involved in other criminal activities, many of which involved extreme violence. He was also mixing with some very unsavoury members of

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BILLY GILVEAR the criminal underworld; people who carried baseball bats and guns. Having had several near misses with the police, he felt he was untouchable. “It was a ﬁlthy business, and one that I am truly ashamed of now, but at the time I was completely immersed in it,” he writes. In the meantime, he and Bev had had a second child, Jack, but Bev had given up on the relationship by this point.

No end in sight Realising how serious things had become, Billy decided the only way out was to end his life. He took an overdose of painkillers, washed them down with alcohol and woke up in intensive care. He came out of a coma to find his mum by his side, and the first thing she whispered in his ear was that God loved him, and that one day Billy would preach the gospel. As always, he brushed it off. On release from intensive care, he was placed in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks and then put into rehab. Bev took Billy back out of pity, but as soon as he got out, he was back on the drugs. “Within a year I was facing a prison sentence; it was disaster after disaster,” he tells Sorted. He was eventually placed into a halfway house with an 80-something-year-old Christian lady called Nancy. Told by his social worker that Nancy wouldn’t Bible-bash him, things couldn’t have been more different. Billy even recalls her chasing him around the farm telling him about Jesus. “God was on my case, I guess,” he says. It all got too much for Billy again, and he actually set up a hangman’s noose in an outbuilding ready to hang himself. He and Bev were finally divorced and he felt that he had nothing to live for. Then, just before he ended it all, he had an epiphany. Nancy had woken up early to polish her brassware. She was using a rag to clean her dull, dirty brassware, and it was coming out perfectly clean and bright. Billy stood drinking coffee and just stared at her. Suddenly he heard a voice saying: “This kettle is your life.” He then heard it a second time, just in case he had missed it the first time. The verses he had learnt as a child came flooding back to his mind and he felt overwhelmed. “All of a sudden I knew God was showing me that my life was a mess like that kettle,” says Billy. “Everyone had written me off; even my psychiatrist had closed my case because there was nothing else they could do for me.”

He went to work in Brigend that day and recalls looking up to the sky and saying: “God, if that was you, you’ve got to help me.” He suddenly felt an incredibly warm, intense feeling as if someone was giving him a hug and telling him it was going to be ok. He returned home and told Nancy what had happened, and even rang his parents to tell them. After 30 years of waiting and praying they were blown away; the rejoicing began.

“I’M A RECOVERING ADDICT, AND EVEN 14 YEARS ON I HAVE TO STAY CLOSE TO A PROGRAMME. I MAY BE BORN AGAIN, BUT I WASN’T BORN YESTERDAY!”

Change of heart Four months later, on Easter Sunday 2001, Billy was baptised. He was completely transformed and delighted by what God was doing in his life, but there was one thing missing: his family. Having said there was no chance they would ever get back together, Bev heard God say that He was going to rekindle her love for Billy. Initially reluctant to even consider taking him back, the couple remarried a year later. And the local pub Billy was banned from even put on a free bar! Having served as a prison chaplain, Baptist minister and evangelist, Billy is now regional director for The Eden Network, a group of church-linked youth and community projects based in some of the UK’s most deprived neighbourhoods. It seems as though he has really fallen on his feet; that everything is perfect now that he has found God. But this isn’t the whole truth. “If I’m honest, it’s not been a joyride. It’s life,” he says. “For two years I was walking on water; such was my change. I thank God that He gave me an amazing two years to enjoy. After that, life kicked in. I’m a recovering addict, and even 14 years on I have to stay close to a programme. I may be born again, but I wasn’t born yesterday!” One of the ways he has grown in his faith and overcome the diﬃculties of life is to surround himself with guys he can trust, like J. John and Sorted columnist Anthony Delaney. “Men don’t talk enough,” he shares. His advice to other men is not to isolate themselves, but to connect with people they trust. “And pray!” he adds. “It sounds simple, but that’s all I’ve got.” He hopes that people reading Storming Home will experience the hope that he did when he was at his lowest ebb. “I hope that in my story, people understand that there’s nothing that is impossible for God,” says Billy. “Whatever they are facing, there is still hope and opportunity to change. I want people to be encouraged.” I

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ALISTAIR McGRATH

Alister McGrath on Life After Atheism BY HEATHER TOMLINSON

rofessor Alister McGrath is a very clever man, evidenced by the fact he has three PhDs to his name: one scientific, one historical and another in theology. The man is living proof that science and rational thought do not disprove the Christian faith. In fact, McGrath started his adult life as an atheist, but his studies led him to change his mind. He now regularly debates with high-profile atheists such as Richard Dawkins and writes books about the rational basis of Christianity. He has become interested in CS Lewis’ Narnia stories lately, despite the fact that his two children left home a long time ago. Head of the Centre for Theology, Religion and Culture at King’s College London, McGrath’s new book, CS Lewis: A Life is out now and shows there is far more to the stories than the reader might expect. Sorted caught up with him to find out more.

Is it true that all the Narnia books are about the Christian faith?

experience of literature. He’s also a Christian apologist. He tries to communicate what the faith is all about in ways that our culture can understand.

So can you explain how Narnia tells the Christian story? The core theme is that the children go into Narnia, which is a wintry land. They hear diﬀerent stories being told about it. On the one hand, they are told that it is the realm of the White Witch. The other story is that she isn’t the lawful owner; there is Aslan, and when he comes back to reclaim his country, the power of the White Witch will disappear. The children have to work out what the true story is. In the same way, you and I hear stories about this world, such as it’s just a random happening, it’s meaningless and so on. But others say no, it is God’s creation, we are all special, and God is really here and will redeem us. Lewis is helping us to see that there are diﬀerent ways of looking at the same thing. He is saying, which makes the more sense? He is helping us realise we’ve got to make a decision about what is the right story of this world and our lives. f

Well they certainly are a presentation of the Christian faith. What Lewis is trying to do is to explore what Christianity looks like for somebody who actually doesn’t fully understand what Christianity is, or someone who is interested in ﬁnding out what it is, but without learning doctrines and that kind of thing. What Lewis does is tell the story. He says the Christian faith is a story about God creating the world and redeeming it through Jesus. He’s retelling that story in a way that draws his readers in. When you read the story you see it makes sense of the world around us. If you like Narnia, you’re probably going to like Christianity.

In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the lion is Jesus and the witch is the devil. But what’s the wardrobe? Lewis is saying that there’s a deeper way of looking at the world. The world is bigger than we think; we only know part of it. We all need to find a doorway to find a richer vision of what reality is all about. These kids go into the wardrobe and find the world of Narnia. He’s saying maybe there’s a door in our lives that’s going to lead to a new way of living; a new way of thinking. He’s using the wardrobe as an image of changing. When Jesus talks about repenting, it really means turning your minds round and seeing things in a different way. The wardrobe is really about beginning to realise that we’re not limited by what we can see of this world; there is something beyond it. Once you begin to realise what that is, everything is seen in a new way.

So CS Lewis was more than just a children’s author? Lewis is a children’s author, but that wasn’t his day job. He was a professor of English literature at Cambridge; a professional expert on literature. One of the things he does is tell his own stories, which draw on his own rich

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So do the recent Narnia films do a good job of telling the story? The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is good. The others are more difficult. Lewis wasn’t a filmwriter. When he wrote the Narnia novels, he didn’t have the needs of films in mind. They had to rearrange Prince Caspian a lot to make sense of it. I’m not quite so sure about the others. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings is much easier to film; it’s almost as if he had a good sense of what makes a good movie script.

So is The Lord of the Rings also about God? In a much more subtle way, yes. You can realise immediately that it’s about a battle between good and evil, people trying to become the people they’re meant to be, the quest for virtue. It’s very powerful stuff indeed. It’s framed in a different way; Tolkien is writing for grownups, for example. Tolkien and Lewis were both committed Christians and they knew each other very well. In Narnia, Lewis takes the Christian story and ‘changes’ it. With Tolkien it is much more subtle. There are Christ figures in Middle Earth; characters who have similarities to Jesus. Gandalf is a good example. But The Lord of the Rings is much more about helping to realise that there is a bigger picture behind the story we know. We’re all part of a bigger story. One of the things you and I have to do is find out how we connect our little story with this much bigger story.

You’ve written a lot of books. What’s your favourite subject to write about? I’ve enjoyed writing about CS Lewis. It’s much more interesting writing about people than ideas. Lewis has a very, very interesting life. Writing about Lewis does let me write about ideas as well; about how they shaped his life. What we think makes a big diﬀerence to what we do with our lives.

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I hear you were a scientist before you started working on Christian theology. Isn’t Christianity the opposite of science? Well I started by doing chemistry as an undergraduate degree. I moved on to do work in a more biological subject. When I was an atheist myself, I thought science and religion were at war with each other. I thought there was no place for God in science. I have rethought that completely. One of the great things is that, as a Christian, you look at the world not just as a scientist, but with something that helps us to understand the richness and glory of God. Richard Dawkins and I have argued about this a lot, but many would say that it is completely reasonable to say that belief in God gives added depth to science. You believe that the world is ordered, that there is some kind of structure to it, that there is a rational structure to the universe. That’s an idea that comes straight out of the Bible. There doesn’t need to be conflict between science and religion. Dawkins’ superficial portrayal of science and religion in conflict all the time doesn’t do justice to history or to what science and Christianity is.

You were doing chemistry at Oxford, that’s pretty high level science. Are there many other Christian scientists? There are lots at Oxford and elsewhere. There’s an organisation called Christians in Science that has meetings all over the place. One of the best-known scientists who is a Christian is the man who was in charge of the Human Genome Project in the US, Francis Collins. He used to be an atheist and then he became a Christian. He says his Christianity makes more sense than atheism does.

So, you don’t have to switch your brain off to become a Christian? No, not at all. You use your brain to become a Christian, and you keep on using it afterwards.

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ALISTAIR McGRATH You’ve written a couple of responses to Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion. Some people seem to think his book is a serious problem for believers. What do you think? I think it’s a serious problem for believers who don’t think about their faith or don’t know much about it. But for anyone who does, it’s obvious that the book is a parody of Christianity – it doesn’t represent the reality at all. It sets out to rubbish and ridicule it from the word go. Most atheists I know say the book is a complete embarrassment.

What’s the most exciting part of your faith, do you think? The most exciting part of faith is realising that I matter to God, and knowing that I’m here for very good reasons. Part of the joy of being alive is working out what God wants me to do and getting on with it.

You’re going to talk at the Keswick Convention about the trinity this July. The idea of three Gods being one God doesn’t seem to make sense. How do you understand it? God is just too big for our minds to take Him in properly. If we invent God, that’s easy to understand. But God is so big we can’t take him in properly. The trinity is about realising we can’t get our minds around God completely, but we can still say the basic things to make sure we’ve got him right. The trinity is making sure we realise that God made the world, God redeems us, and God is with us right now. It’s saying that all of those things are true about God; even if we ﬁnd it diﬃcult to take it into our minds.

You’ve written some devotional books, too. What advice would you give people to help them grow closer to God? What I would say is, talk to your Christian friends about what they find helpful. Ask them what biblical passages they’ve read that speak to them. Very often people don’t know how to start. People need to ask for help. Most Christians have ways of praying and reading they find helpful, and can share what they find useful. The important thing is, it’s difficult to be a Christian on your own. Happily, there are lots of Christians around to help you on your way.

Is it true that you time your whole day to the minute? I do have to organise myself very well. As you can imagine, I’m very busy. I have to structure things to make sure I get everything done. I don’t sit with a stopwatch, but I do have to make good use of my time.

What message would you like to give Sorted readers? I used to be an atheist. I used to think Christianity made no sense. I used to think people who believed it were mad, bad or sad. If anyone reading this is thinking Christianity is a load of nonsense, I used to think like that myself. But it’s like going through Lewis’s wardrobe: there’s something very exciting to be discovered. I Heather Tomlinson is a freelance journalist writing on behalf of the Keswick Convention, a Christian convention providing fellowship, solid Bible teaching and great worship. The Convention is free to attend and takes place every year in the Lake District from July 13 to August 2. For more information, visit www.keswickministries.org, or follow on Twitter @KeswickC.

How does the trinity make a difference to our Christian faith, and how does it enrich our worship evangelism and prayer? It is a very important part of our faith. Most Christians don’t think about the trinity very much, but we do think about creation, redemption, and the [Holy] Spirit being with us now. Those are all part of the Christian vision of God. The trinity weaves all those parts together. Why does it make a diﬀerence? Think about prayer. You’re praying to God, but you realise that somehow you’re being helped to pray through the Spirit. You’re praying to God the Father through Jesus Christ, through the power of the Spirit. It helps you to worship, because you’ve been redeemed by Christ and the Spirit with you helping you. Trinity sets out God as He really is. And once you realise how great He is, you’re going to want to worship Him.

What do you like doing when you’re not writing books and arguing with Richard Dawkins? I like gardening, being with my friends. I’m just a normal human being! I love walking. I’m not a sporty person, but enjoying God’s creation I ﬁnd walking great fun.

What’s the most amazing thing God has ever done for you? Apart from giving me life? Let me think. That God is always there for me. It’s like walking into life, not being sure where you’re going but knowing that God is with me all the time. That’s such an important part of the Christian faith.

Do you ever have doubts about your faith? As a younger man I did. As I grew older I realised you can’t expect [to have] all your questions sorted out neatly. You have got to learn to live with some questions, for which you don’t have neat answers. But you have good reasons for believing all the same!

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BUSINESS

CHARLES HUMPHREYS

We’re in Business

Nepotism? Who Cares If It Works!

n the wall behind the reception of a wellestablished, family-run business hangs a framed notice, possibly designed to dissuade outsiders from

applying for work: We promote family values here – nearly as much as we promote family members! Nepotism is a bit of a dirty word and often conjures up images of corrupt heirs to thirdworld dictators. At another level, anyone can be a victim of nepotism, especially if you discover that the CEO’s nephew beat you to the job! In modern-day terms, it refers to the act of favouring relatives at work as opposed to them being judged on ability or merit. For the most part, nepotism can simply be viewed in terms of people giving somebody a leg-up or a bit more of the inside track to enable them to get on within an organisation. But this doesn’t happen nowadays, surely?!

What are the facts?

DEALS ARE DONE EITHER ON THE GOLF COURSE OR IN THE CHANGING ROOM AFTER A GAME OF SQUASH!

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Networking with all your contacts You obviously don’t have to be a graduate to network, and there is no rule to say you can only approach former colleagues. Ask your friends and relatives to keep a lookout for you in their

companies, and you might be surprised who you’ll find yourself talking to over coffee after a church service or dinner party. Networking should form a major part of your job research: who works where, who knows who, who can tell you what it is like to work for a particular company, who can give you advice about your career path, and so on. You will be surprised at how many people you know! Make a list of all the people you know or have met who could help you find out more. Include current and former colleagues and employers; suppliers and reps; fellow members of trade associations; former clients or customers; church contacts; family, school and university friends; neighbours; social media connections; your partner’s contacts; and your solicitor, bank manager or accountant. Here are some useful organisations that could help you network and get the inside track to work: www.meetup.com; www.fsb.org.uk; www.chamberofcommerce.co.uk. I Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder of Christian-based careers coaching service Want2 get on? (www.want2geton.co.uk), which oﬀers one-on-one careers counselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The Christian Guide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busy dad of three young boys and husband to an overworked doctor. He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

A study of 3,000 workers confirms that the old adage ‘It’s not what you know, but who you know’ still rings true. Undertaken by Aldi Graduate Recruitment, the research shows that more than one-third of people keep in touch with former bosses or colleagues purely because they hope they may one day be able to

help with their career. This tactic appears to work, because nearly half of those surveyed said they had got a job after staying on good terms with people they had interned for, done work experience with or met in a business setting. The lines between nepotism and networking can be fairly blurred, but they do say that the majority of deals are done either on the golf course or in the changing room after a game of squash!

Well, take a look at the following stats and make your own mind up to see just how many of us are getting work in the UK: I 11 million people are either working with a relative who gave them the role, or in a position a family member helped them to secure I Over a third dodged the interview process completely after getting the nod from a friend The truth of the matter is that this sort of practice is not illegal, and it is all too common even in the UK. So, if you can’t beat the system, why not go with the flow and try to work with it?

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BUSINESS

STUART RIVERS

Making Your Mark

Incentivising This is an area that is sometimes conflicted. Some might argue that if you need to provide incentives for customers to make referrals, then their satisfaction or trust in you isn’t solid enough. However, don’t dismiss this approach. There are times when you may just want to reward or thank customers for their loyalty or commitment with no strings attached. And it is at times like this that they may be willing to respond to the incentive by providing a testimonial or recommendation without even seeing it as strings. Think, therefore, before you plan an incentive programme to make sure you reap the full benefit of giving and receiving.

Promoting Asking customers to be references, rather than just write references, is an interesting concept that works for some businesses. Being able to offer someone the opportunity to speak with or meet an existing customer will enable them to make an informed decision based on impartial experience. Asking a customer to be a reference is a way of promoting your business while at the same time investing in the existing customer relationship. The fact that you ‘trust’ that customer to talk about you to others will serve to strengthen your relationship with them. With this approach you are facilitating the buying process rather than the selling process.

Making Relationships Your Business

n its simplest form, unlocking the secret of referred business is no science, really. It’s much more about how you treat the relationships that can help you grow your business. Much has been written about the power of relationships in business, but there are various basic ideas that are often overlooked. Whether you are an advocate for Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘connectors‘ theory or a tribal leader looking for ‘triadic relationships’, there are several foundations for business relationships that are worth revisiting.

Asking Although it may sound obvious, a common oversight for many businesses is in asking for recommendations, testimonials and referrals. All businesses should see customers as an extension of their sales force, only with the potential to bring good returns and low cost. If your sales team is passionate about your product, you are much more likely to attract new business.

So it goes for customers, also. The simple premise is that if you have satisfied customers, they will be happy to talk about you to others. Make sure you don’t miss the moment, either. If you’ve just completed a transaction with a customer that has left them feeling positive, this is a good time to do your asking.

Trusting People generally trust those with whom they have a positive relationship. And trust is a state of mind that can result in positive referrals for any business. If you were referring a company to your contacts, you’d be looking for some assurance that this would reflect well on your relationships. So if you want people to refer your company, you will need to invest in building trust. You are expecting people to make a decision and sometimes commit time to your business, so if you can influence their decision by ensuring people place a high level of trust in you, you’re halfway there.

Resourcing If you understand the needs of your customer, you may be able to offer them something that makes their life easier. Everyone you sell to will have needs that aren’t being met (even if they don’t realise it yet). One approach to meeting those needs is to provide access to information or research. This is particularly easy to do if you already collate the information for your own purposes anyway. Over time, you might build a portfolio of reports, data sheets and guides that will provide a rich service for your customers. By understanding the value of information, you will be able to secure referral business when your customers refer others to your resource library. The resources may not promote your product or service directly, but they become an enhancement to the service you provide, creating value and – if your information is correct – trust among a new group of prospects. These approaches are simple but often overlooked. When you look to your customers for referral business, remember that they are making a choice that will either strengthen or weaken the relationship they have with you and with others. For most people this is a serious choice because their credibility and reputation are at stake, and that is most definitely relational. I An entrepreneur with a background in marketing and business development, Stuart was recently appointed chief executive of Sailors’ Society, a Christian charity serving the needs of merchant seafarers. He previously spent 15 years at Ericsson, progressing to the role of commercial director in Sweden, before being appointed executive director of Bible Society in 2009. Stuart is a former Salvation Army oﬃcer whose parents are commissioners; his great uncle was private secretary to General William Booth. He is married to Carey and has six children and two grandchildren.

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BUSINESS

MATT BIRD

Relationology

How to Grow Your Business through Referral Relationships

hen I first started out in business, I remember the extraordinary generosity of a friend called Charlie. I had clarity about what I wanted to do in business, I just needed to find my first group of clients. Over lunch I was telling Charlie about my new venture and he immediately wanted to help. He made two offers. The first was an invitation for me to visit his office and look through his address book. He offered to write a letter of introduction to whoever I selected, so ambitiously I selected more than 50 people.

OF THE FIVE REFERRALS, I ENDED UP DOING SOME SORT OF WORK WITH FOUR OF THEM. Charlie also promised to make referrals for me to five people who he knew would benefit from my services. He explained he would speak to them and then introduce us by email. This is when I learnt the difference between an ‘introduction’ and a ‘referral’. An ‘introduction’ is an opportunity to meet someone you might find interesting, or you might be able to do business with one day. Introductions can be described as ‘unqualified leads’. A ‘referral’ is the opportunity to meet someone who has an identified need for your product or service at that time. Referrals are described as ‘pre-qualified prospects’. Of the 50 people to whom I was introduced, none turned into business opportunities, although I met some very interesting people and I’m still in contact with some of them. However, of the five referrals, I ended up doing some sort of work with four of them. Referrals are one of the most effective approaches to new business development.

One of the primary reasons referrals are so effective is that there is a transfer of trust from the referrer to the referred. So referrers are wise to qualify or provide parameters to their referral. The first way to qualify a referral is through the method used. I consciously consider how 64

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The second way to qualify a referral is explicitly through carefully chosen words used, such as: I “Bob and I have just met, and I think you may like to meet him also” I “Bob has been a supplier for years and has always delivered an excellent service” I “Bob is a long-standing friend and I would very much like you to meet” So do be conscious about the level of trust transfer people are providing in referring you, and consider how you can increase people’s trust in you.

Referral Champions Once you have won someone’s trust, they may well become a regular referrer for you, or what I describe as a ‘referral champion’. You might want to be deliberate about identifying these sorts of people. Ask yourself: I Who likes, knows and trusts me? I Who understands my products/services? I Who believes in my products/services (normally based on first-hand experience)? I Who meets the needs of the people in their network by referring me to them? These are people who know you well. They are the result of your network, not your networking.

Treating a room of people you don’t know like a bunch of prospective customers is what has given ‘networking’ a bad name. New business opportunities derive directly from the network of people you already like, know and trust, and with whom you have good relationships.

Referral Etiquette Once you have established referral champions, it is essential that you look after them. At the centre of referral etiquette is keeping your referrer in the picture. There are many good reasons for this, including: I Common courtesy: This is simply a matter of good manners I Reference request: At some point, it is possible your referrer may be asked informally or formally to give a reference for you and your work I Repeat referral: If the referral process works well and all three parties are left with a feelgood factor, then hopefully there will be further referrals I Thank you: If the referral results in you securing work, then a thank you and sometimes a fee, commission or gift is appropriate If you follow referral etiquette and look after your referral relationships, these people will become increasingly confident in making referrals to you. You will be investing in referral champions who will help you grow your business. I

Matt Bird is The Relationologist. He has created a new social science, Relationology, and is an international keynote speaker and consultant. Receive weekly inspirational and practical relationship wisdom from Matt at www.relationology.co.uk.

Trust Transfer

much I trust the person I am referring and choose an approach accordingly: I Suggestion: Bob, I would recommend that you connect with Sam I Name: Bob, do reach out to Sam and feel free to mention my name I Email: Bob, I’ll introduce you to Sam by email I Meeting: Bob, I’d like you to meet Sam, so I’ll invite you both for lunch

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ADVICE

SMART TALK

With Ben Sinclair, Jojo Meadows and James Galloway

OUR EXPERTS

Ben recently became a father and works as a GP with an interest in men’s health, and as an emergency doctor. He also raises awareness through the Optimise Clinic, providing a bespoke mobile medical service for busy working people (www.optimiseclinic.co.uk; Twitter: @Menshealthtips)

Sex on the First Date?

Jojo is a director of The Light Radio, works alongside youth with Urban Creation – her own project – and is involved with the skateboarding/inlining community. Having been through many life-changing experiences, including anorexia, teenage pregnancy, violent relationships and cancer cell changes, she now wants to help others who find themselves struggling in difficult circumstances.

I’m a 25-year-old girl who loves reading Sorted. I’m not a virgin, but I’m very cautious who I sleep with. I went out on a date with a guy who told me that every other girl would sleep with him on a first date. I know girls are very open to sex nowadays, but am I being too frigid, like he says?

Pastor James Galloway and wife Becky have been lead pastors at Breathe City Church (BCC) in Stoke on Trent since September 2007. Born and bred in Stoke and a season ticket holder at Stoke City, Pastor James loves his city with an unquenchable passion and believes that the Church should be at the very centre of the community and city.

This guy has low standards! He should respect your right to decide when it’s ready for your relationship to become physical. The Bible teaches that sex should be cherished by couples as a wedding gift. This offers protection to develop your sexual relationship in the context of a secure marriage relationship, where time and promises have cemented your commitment and fidelity to each other. This concept is poles apart from cheapened sex on a first date.

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JG No you’re not, and I would simply suggest the guy is lying about his history of ﬁrst dates. The most valuable thing you have is you. If you don’t respect yourself, no one will. So stand tall and strong, and know you are loved by the King. BS

Move on from this guy and find someone who will respect and cherish you, stand the test of time and marry you before you bestow your gifts. You are not frigid. You are comfortable in your own skin, and as a woman I applaud

I’ve got to say, I’m too embarrassed to go to my GP, but I can see that Ben you are a doctor. I’m a man in my 30s and keep feeling like I need the toilet, but I stand around and it takes me so long to urinate! I’ve heard of prostate cancer and that this is a symptom, but I’m far too young for that… Right? As a GP, I work in a male prison where I see many men with similar urinary issues, examine them and talk through diagnostic tests and, finally, treatment. Any new urinary symptoms should be discussed with your GP and investigated; until a diagnosis can be made it will remain unclear how to treat the cause of your problem. You have a urinary hesitancy

this! You shouldn’t feel pressured by a man who clearly doesn’t value your worth. Do not compare yourself to others, as this could be a slippery slope and cause you to stumble. If I were you, I would avoid another date with him. Stand your ground, be patient and the right man will show!

symptom, which can indicate a problem anywhere along the urinary tract; either arising from the bladder or any of the structures around it. You are on the young side for prostate cancer – studies would suggest that at your age you are more likely to have a bladder problem – but it’s best to get checked and treated anyway, as this won’t resolve on its own. I am so pleased that you are aware of signs and symptoms, as this shows you are aware of the potential dangers. Actually, you are not too young to have prostate cancer, but don’t jump to the conclusion that what you have is the worst case scenario. It could be various things including diabetes, kidney/ bladder stones or just a simple bladder infection. Therefore, it is really important you see your GP to get the right diagnosis.

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ADVICE I have recently become a Christian, but I am struggling with one area. I love to watch porn. I’ve grown up watching porn and think of it as a beautiful act. I love to see women and appreciate their beauty. So many people tell me it’s wrong, but I can’t see their thinking. To me it’s escapism, but I want to get it right. What are your thoughts? Porn simply degrades something that God designed to be between one man and one woman within the conﬁnes of marriage. The detrimental eﬀects of fantasy and porn have far-reaching consequences in your psychological makeup, your spiritual DNA and your future relational engagement.

BS Sex is a beautiful gift from our

JJ As a woman, I really

struggle with porn. I find it offensive and knowing the conditions some of these women are being forced to live under I have to question why anyone else would want to watch it! I understand that men are visual beings, but just because you are visual, does that mean you should disrespect and devalue the true meaning of love and making love? Making love is a spiritual connection and should be savoured between a committed (married) couple; making the relationship exclusive to yourselves. Watching porn desensitises and will numb you to reality. I would seek further direction from your church and embrace an accountability partner.

CONTACT US: Got a problem and need an answer? Email: jo@sorted-magazine.com or write to: Smart Talk, Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX

creator God to be enjoyed in the sanctity of marriage. Voyeurism – watching others have sex – is not part of this gift. It might be escapism, but why do you need to escape, and from what? God created beautiful women, but if you look under the bonnet of the industry churning out your chosen art form, you won’t find women being respected or cherished, but abused and oppressed for financial gain. Who profits from porn? The majority of profit does not go to the ‘actors’, who may be pushed into this lifestyle through poverty. Your new faith conflicts with this abuse of women who are created in the

image of God and should not be drooled over on film but respected as your sisters.

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ADVICE

JONATHAN SHERWIN

Big Questions

Salvation at Auschwitz all because of one man. Maximilian Kolbe took Gajowniczek’s place in the ten, and this selfless act became the ‘salvation’ moment of Gajowniczek’s life. Incidentally, he went on to live to the ripe old age of 95.

hero. We can think about why he did what he did, but we ask those questions from the position of a spectator to the story. Gajowniczek alone reaped the reward of Maximilian’s death; our benefit comes through the inspiration we receive from the story.

KOLBE STEPPED FORWARD FROM THE RANKS AND OFFERED HIMSELF IN THE PLACE OF HIS FELLOW INMATE.

Established in history You can visit Auschwitz today, as I did, and find the plaque honouring Maximilian’s life. You can visit the small, dark cell where he was starved and murdered, as Gajowniczek did every year after his release. You can read the accounts of his fellow inmates and others at the camp, now published for the world to examine. Maximilian’s story is grounded in history. His exemplary life and death still inspire many today. Jesus’ exemplary life and death also reach out to us from history, asking us to learn from his story. Attested to by reliable eyewitness accounts, preserved through written records for all generations to examine, the stories of Jesus Christ reach out to us today and leave us with a question to answer. Maximilian died and we celebrate him as a

But with Jesus’ death the reward is yet to be determined. Jesus’ story isn’t merely an inspiring, courageous tale of an act of wonderful selflessness. That’s because the story of Jesus’ life and death isn’t over. We don’t observe that monumental historical event from afar as spectators. When we read of the life and death of Jesus, we become aware that we are immediately and inescapably involved as characters in the story. Jesus died so that all people would be liberated from their mess and the mess of the world. The rewards of his ultimate selfless act aren’t reserved for one man alone, but for all of us. Jesus stepped forward to take our place and set us free. The great selfless act has taken place, and the freedom bought is offered to all of us now. The only question left is: of what reward will his sacrifice be for you? I

Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place for people to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. He graduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and now works as an itinerant evangelist, which involves co-leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversation online: www.jonathansherwin.net.

ust a few months ago, on a bitterly cold day, I was trudging around the internment camp of Auschwitz, Poland. I was listening to my guide explain this building and that when I came across a plaque that caught my attention. The corroded brass plaque was ﬁxed to the side of one of the buildings that housed the inmates. It marked the courageous life of one man by the name of Maximilian Kolbe, a Polish priest. The story of Kolbe is not one I will forget quickly. After an alleged escape attempt by one of the camp’s prisoners, all of the inmates were assembled, and from them ten random men were selected for death by starvation. The brutality of this response was sure to crush any fleeting thoughts of escape that may have surfaced in the minds of the imprisoned men. One of the chosen ten broke down in tears as the realisation of his fate overwhelmed him. At this point, Kolbe stepped forward from the ranks and offered himself in the place of his fellow inmate. Laughing, the camp’s officers agreed. Locked in a small, windowless room underground, Kolbe and the nine other men were left to slowly starve to death. As the war drew to a close, the camps were liberated and the few inmates who were still barely alive were rescued, while one man by the name of Franciszek Gajowniczek limped away from Auschwitz to begin the rest of his life. This shell of a man was one of the lucky few to make it through. He was a survivor, and

When Jesus Christ was nailed to a cross to pay the price for a crime he didn’t commit, this act had far deeper significance than the people murdering him knew at the time. The Roman soldiers had killed a man, but were entirely unaware of the part they had played in the greatest selfless act the universe has ever witnessed. When Jesus died, the pivotal point in all human existence was permanently established. Jesus’ death was the salvation moment for not just one internment prisoner, but for the entire world imprisoned by sin and without hope. The Bible says that God’s love and justice met at the cross. Jesus stood in our place and paid for everyone’s mess with his life. His perfect life – and his life alone – paid for the whole world’s mess. Justice demands payment, and as we faltered, Jesus stepped forward and took our place, freeing us to life.

Ultimate salvation

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OPINION

JON COBB

Money

in the bank, the interest it earns (particularly if you are a taxpayer) will typically be less than inflation. Even National Savings Certificates are off the menu at the moment, and there’s a misconception that buying index-linked gilts will beat inflation, but this is only true if you are fortunate enough to buy a new issue and hold it to maturity. If you have a long-term savings goal, like a pension, that’s fine. Buy equities, they will serve you well. But if you are setting aside a deposit on a house in five years’ time, or saving for a car I really don’t have an answer for you!

IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN PURCHASING POWER WITH YOUR SAVINGS WITHOUT IT BEING PUT AT RISK FROM SHORT-TERM VOLATILITY.

Facing Our Finances Head On

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was £204, and it was drinks on me! Talking of Creme Eggs, I recently read that more than 200 million are sold each year in the UK, which equates to three per person! That’s 540 calories. (A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! You have been warned!) It’s very difficult to maintain purchasing power with your savings without it being put at risk from short-term volatility. If you put it

Jon Cobb runs ﬁnancial advisory business Trinity Wealth Management. He is a keen runner, ex-white-collar boxer, passionate Portsmouth supporter, speaker and writer. Check out Jon’s blog: cobbiescollectivecontemplations.blogspot.co.uk and follow him on Twitter: @CobbyJon.

k, don’t cheat by having a look, but I bet you don’t know whose face currently adorns an English ﬁve pound note? No, didn’t think so. Me neither! It’s a lady called Elizabeth Fry, and she was a bit of a philanthropist/social reformer. Sadly, her time is running out… in 2016 she’ll be replaced by Winston Churchill. I’m not sure I will ever be able to think of him again as an icon of the best of British since the Olympic ceremony, when Timothy Spall popped out the top of Big Ben and gave his tribute to the two-fingered one. I hadn’t realised that my hero Charles Dickens had been erased from our tenners to be replaced by Charles Darwin, but I guess the point is that we are so familiar with hard currency, we don’t look that closely at it anymore. While the faces on our notes change, what’s of greater significance is that the face value also changes in real terms. Buying power diminishes. When I was 18, I could go to the pub with a fiver and be in there all night. I also remember Creme Eggs being 4p and standing on the terraces for 25p. My first monthly pay

Some financial conundrums simply have to be taken on the chin, but this is all the more reason to make sure you shop around for the best savings rate. If you have a non-taxpaying partner, make sure the account is in her/his name so you don’t pay unnecessary tax. And on that point, don’t forget you are allowed to put up to £5,760 into a cash ISA, which is tax-free. It’s a gift from the government, and if you have the funds it would be rude not to accept it! In the book of Psalms, it says that everything on the earth belongs to God. If we believe that – and I do – it makes us stewards of the resources He’s given us. Sometimes managing our money, budgeting, using savings accounts and taking out insurance all gets a bit onerous, particularly for me as it’s what I do for a living. But it’s not a responsibility we should take lightly, and compared with the vast majority of this world, we are monetarily rich beyond compare. That’s a sobering thought! I

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OPINION

RICHARD HARDY

Family

The Joys of Family Holidays

journey. This worked a treat until the day I made them laugh so much we had to stop about a dozen times for the toilet! Then there’s the challenge of where to go and what to do. When they were tiny this was relatively easy: they went where we went. There was always the challenge of settling them in a strange room in a strange house. As they got a little older, all they seemed to need was a beach and a bucket and spade. They were happy and we were happy, providing the sun stayed out, the sun cream stayed on and the ice cream stayed in!

IT NEVER CEASED TO AMAZE ME HOW CHILDREN SO SMALL COULD NEED SO MUCH STUFF We once went on a beach holiday to Bournemouth. I had a broken leg and my son had a broken arm. I was in a wheelchair; his arm was in a sling. As you can imagine, my wife had a ‘wail’ of a time. When the kids reached their teenage years, new challenges arose. We found that in order to keep them interested and wanting to come with us, we had to think of places they would want to see and activities they would want to do.

My daughter, who is very relational, needed other people around that she could relate to. My son, who is very active, needed plenty of activities that he could get involved in. So for a number of years we took them to Spring Harvest in France and had a great time. In the last couple of years, they have been willing to come just so long as it’s free and foreign! We recently entered another holiday phase. Now 21 and 18, we offered the kids a trip of a lifetime: a three-week adventure in the Rockies, Canada. A winner, I thought! I was wrong. My daughter said: “Sorry Dad I have other plans.” My son said: “It’s too far and for too long.” It appears that at least for this year they would be willing to come if it’s free, foreign, not too far and for a week! So there you are, the days of family holidays are drawing to a close. For years I have been longing for this day, but now it’s arrived I feel a little sad. I guess we will have to dust off the rucksacks and hit the open road once again. I will shed a tear as we work out what to do first: island hoping in Greece, hill walking in the Lakes, three weeks in Canada or weekends catching up with old friends. It’s going to be tough, but someone’s got to do it! I

olidays are a great idea, aren’t they? They oﬀer a chance to get away from it all, to relax, refresh and recharge! You know what they say, don’t you: “A change is as good as a rest”. Well that’s the theory, anyway. In fact, this was the reality until we had kids! There was a time when we could squeeze everything we needed for a fortnight’s holiday into two moderately stuffed rucksacks and just head out. That soon changed with the arrival of babies and toddlers. Don’t get me wrong, we still only took two moderately stuffed rucksacks; we just dumped them in the boot of an overstuffed estate car. It never ceased to amaze me how children so small could need so much stuff: the car seats, the buggy, the travel cot, the nappies, the baby food… and that’s before you put in any clothes! For years I looked longingly at those two rucksacks, dreaming of the day we could do it all again. Then there was the journey. If you made it too long, you were stopping every thirty seconds, or so it seemed, as the questions: “Are we there yet?” and the statements: “I’m thirsty!” “I’m hungry!” “I’m bored!” “I need the toilet!” “I feel sick!” flowed. It took me a couple of years to work out the maximum distance we could travel for the sake of sanity: it was about two hours. I also developed the technique of asking for the first line of a story, and then making up a story that lasted for precisely the length of the

Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of the Entheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enables churches to engage with their communities. Richard has spoken on community engagement, marriage and parenting at many national conferences. He has also written extensively on community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

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OPINION

SAM GIBB

Faith

To Be Frank This time I couldn’t do much more than be honest. “I teach them the Bible,” I replied. The whole audience fell silent and the comedy stopped. This was far from the humorous heckling the crowd was used to and, unlike my biblical (kind-of) namesake Samson, I wasn’t about to bring the house down.

IT WASN’T TOO LONG BEFORE FRANK WAS ON MY CASE:“SO WHAT DO YOU DO?” It doesn’t take a genius to realise that, when being spoken to by one of the ‘funny few’, comedy is not an option. As my old football manager used to say, just play it straight. My palms were beginning to sweat; you just can’t trust a comedian. But his response was far from what I expected: “I’ve got a lot of respect for that, Sam, shake my hand.” So I did, and I’m not sure whose was sweatier. After that I didn’t get too much more jip; perhaps I’d put the fear of God in him (or maybe he was simply put off by my sweaty hand). But it got me thinking. How boldly do I speak about my faith in Christ? Put me in

front of a bunch of Bible-hungry youth and I’ll thrive, or in a pub with likeminded punters and I am in my element. But put me in a small room with a sweaty comedian and a bunch of slightly bemused yuppies and I’ll crumble. But I’m in good company. In Ephesians 6, Paul asks the church to pray for him. He only asks for one thing, and he asks for it twice, so it must be important. Take a look: “Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” I think it is fair to say that if Paul is asking for boldness, he is feeling the nerves. And if Paul, possibly the greatest evangelist ever to walk the earth, asks for prayer then flippin’ ’eck, I need prayer too. Paul’s greatest audience may well have been the Roman Emperor Caesar; mine may not get much larger than Frank Skinner and a little group of comedy fans. Yours may be Dave at work or two-dog Bob. But wouldn’t it be great to know that you have the full weight of the prayers of Britain’s blokes as you “fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel”? So pray for me, and ask others to pray for you, that we might make Christ known in the midst of sweaty conversations full of awkward pauses and confused looks. Let’s pray that Christian blokes all over the UK man up, grow a pair and ’fess up to faith. We need it! I Sam Gibb is a twenty-something currently living in London and working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is to present the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a way that makes sense to them. He has written a series of Bible studies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war and sport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer and Garﬁeld, though not necessarily in that order. You can follow him on Twitter at @samggibb.

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t’s not every day that you get to chat about the Bible with Frank Skinner. But the other week I found myself doing exactly that in a small comedy club in Soho. Now, I’d be lying if I suggested that Frank Skinner was a personal hero of mine, but I can clearly remember singing Three Lions, chanting ‘Statto, Statto’ and believing England had a realistic chance of winning Euro ’96 with Gazza, Shearer, Baddiel and Skinner on the case. That hope has long gone, but Skinner, it seems, still goes on. I’ve been to see a reasonable amount of live stand-up, but am a relative newbie when it comes to small gigs. So as we entered, I made what I have since been told is a rookie error; I sat on the front row. And it wasn’t too long before Frank was on my case: “So what do you do?” Now, as we all know, the English have only two topics of conversation: work and the weather. Being as we were in a dark room with no windows, I figured the former would be his starting point, so I was well prepared. “I’m a youth worker,” I said, which, in fairness, is pretty much true. “‘And what do you do with the youth?” Skinner asked.

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LYNDON BOWRING

Politics

Coalition and Compromise

AT CARE, WE SOMETIMES FIND OURSELVES WORKING CLOSELY WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD NOT NORMALLY ENDORSE OR APPROVE OF MUCH THAT WE STAND FOR. CARE works with organisations opposed to euthanasia in the Care Not Killing Alliance, many of whom are not Christian and may be uncomfortable about our beliefs on other issues. However, they share our concern about valuing human dignity and our passion to protect the most vulnerable people in our

society by providing palliative care, and opposing euthanasia and assisted suicide. In the area of human trafficking of men, women and children – very often for the purpose of sexual exploitation – we have found allies among feminist groups whose views on other matters are poles apart. For instance, CARE invited Colette De Troy from the European Women’s Lobby (EWL) to speak at its recent event in the Brussels Parliament, which highlighted the plight of trafficking victims. EWL is a huge umbrella organisation of more than 2,000 women’s associations across the continent of Europe working to protect all kinds of women’s rights, some of which we disagree about. Having said all this, though, it is crucial that Christians are people of integrity. We must stand firm and speak up about the things we believe in and fight for issues that really matter to us without compromising on truth or abandoning God’s command to love. However, circumstances sometimes lead individuals, groups and even nations to stand shoulder to shoulder with those they would normally count as enemies because of a vital common cause. A good example of this, which changed the course of human history, was the Grand Alliance between the United States, Great Britain and the Soviet Union during World War II. These three unlikely allies faced

two lethal common foes, Germany and Japan, and although it was at times excruciatingly difficult, the seriousness of the situation forced them to cooperate. It has been said that politics is the art of compromise, whether it is on an international or countrywide scale, or between people who are trying to figure out how best to run a small community or even a family. In Westminster, in other devolved UK parliaments and assemblies, and in Brussels, there are Christian politicians who regularly have to balance loyalty to their party with their deeply held convictions. It is not easy, and we should remember to pray for them as they make decisions of courage and integrity. Remember, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Compromise is necessary in every aspect of life, especially politics! But not at the cost of our integrity. There are some nonnegotiable values and causes about which we can never compromise. Each of us needs to know what these are. I

esus Christ amazed His followers one day when the disciples complained about someone who was casting out demons in His name. He simply said: “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterwards to speak evil of me. For the one who is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:39-40, ESV). At CARE, we sometimes find ourselves working closely with people who would not normally endorse or approve of much that we stand for. For example, when campaigning a number of years ago against the growing public display of pornography, Labour MP Clare Short became an unlikely ally. In an article on her website about her Off the Shelf Campaign, she noted that: “The Christian organisation CARE started just such a campaign [regarding the display and stocking of pornography in newsagents] and had great success.” Like us, Clare recognised that: “You can’t choose your causes on the basis of people’s views on other subjects”, and we were able to work together effectively towards a common goal despite our disagreements on other issues.

Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at London Bible College. He is an associate minister at Kensington Temple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for more than 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploring London’s restaurants and developing friendships. He lives in London with his wife Celia, and they have three children.

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OPINION

LEE AND BAZ

Cut to the Chase

Lee and Baz are men’s event speakers and authors. You can follow them on twitter @leeandbaz.

Another Man BY BAZ GASGOINE

magine you had three wishes and all of them had to involve changing something about yourself. What would they be, I wonder? Would you lose the beer belly, have more hair on your head, be taller or shorter, or become more handsome? I’m amazed at the extremes men will go to to change how they look. Statistics show more men in the UK are going under the knife each year to change their appearance. Procedures include chin implants to create a strong chin for careerenhancement purposes; liposuction for the removal of love handles, a saggy chest or to achieve a flatter stomach; nose jobs; the removal of bags under the eyes; ear pinning; hair transplants; breast and calf implants; Botox injections; facelifts; pectoral implants; and even penis enlargements. As we all know, the bigger you are, the better the man you are! There seems to be a global crisis among men in terms of how insecure we have become about our physical appearance. We can do something about some of the things we don’t

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like about ourselves. If you are overweight like me, we can decide to lose some. Ricky Gervais was recently asked about his weight loss and how he had achieved it: “I ate less and exercised more,” he replied. Pretty simple, but effective.

RICKY GERVAIS WAS RECENTLY ASKED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT LOSS AND HOW HE HAD ACHIEVED IT:“I ATE LESS AND EXERCISED MORE,” HE REPLIED. For some it will take hard work to get fit and lose weight. For others it may be about embracing the ageing process. I have been going grey since I was 13 years old. Yes, 13! I am now totally white-haired, while also going bald; but I refuse to have a ridiculous comb over, especially the type that goes from the back of the neck to the front of the head. Stop

it men, please! You are not helping our cause. I can only assume that the reason most men have cosmetic surgery is down to a lack of confidence about how they look, which affects how they feel about themselves. I think if we allow ourselves to be honest about what’s going on internally and deal with these things, our external issues would not feel as extreme as we think they are. A few years ago my anger about something was affecting me in so many ways I decided to go and see a counsellor. It was the best thing I ever did. The counsellor enabled me to understand the root of the anger and why it manifested in various ways: it was about something totally different from what I originally thought the issue was. Seeking help to discover the main issue and deal with it also helped to defuse the anger I felt. Seeking help is a good thing to do. Please don’t get me wrong. I want to look smart and will make every effort to lose weight and dress well, but let’s stop trying to become another man and start becoming the men God intended us to be. He is totally for you and committed to you. The greatest thing I have discovered is that God knows all about us and our insecurities and pain, and He is still totally for us. We do not need to try and impress Him with how we look. That’s good news for at least one person I know (the one typing this article!). I

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SPORT

MAKE IT

A TRIPLE BY STUART WEIR

Action Images / Steven Paston

ost of the athletics disciplines emerged from practical skills in the ancient world: running, throwing and jumping. Polevaulting was apparently invented by shepherds as a way of crossing mountain streams. So what about the triple jump? What practical use is the ability to hop, step and jump? The triple jump, or at least a variant involving three jumps one after the other, has its roots in the Ancient Greek Olympics, with records showing athletes attaining distances of more than 15 metres. Moreover, the 1900 and 1904 Olympics included the ‘standing triple jump’. The current world record holder is Jonathan Edwards, who jumped 18.29 metres at the World Championships in Gothenburg in 1995. One writer described Jonathan as “the man who made the triple jump sexy”. The men’s triple jump at the 2013 World Championships in Moscow this August could be one of the most fascinating competitions, with several potential winners. Moreover, as we shall see, the triple jump is arguably the ‘holiest’ athletics discipline. The favourite for the gold medal will be Christian Taylor from the USA, who is not only the defending world champion (17.96 in 2011), but also the Olympic champion (17.81).

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“If you ask me which of the current jumpers is most likely to break my world record, I would say Christian Taylor” (Jonathan Edwards).

Jumping has always been part of his life. “I have always had a talent,” says Taylor. “I have always been a jumper since I was little; always had some kind of spring, just a different bounce to me. I was always jumping off the stairs or off the couch. I played soccer – or football – all my life. At corner kicks I was always the one jumping up. It was always part of my life and, as I grew, track became a passion of mine and I ended up doing what I do now.” Many people were surprised by Christian’s World Championships win in 2011, but was he? “The distance surprised me,” he says. I am an athlete. I am out there to win everything I put myself into. So the win did not surprise me, but the distance did: 17.96.” Taylor’s Christian faith is fundamental to what he does. “I am a very strong believer in God,” he explains. “That is a source of confidence. When you have God’s strength and have Him on your side, you can’t lose. “People may say, you did not do as well in that competition; but the thing is, no matter what, I am still winning. There is always something to take away. There is something positive to take out of it. There is always something in the making, which really helps my confidence going into the next competition. I really take that, and being at the stage I am and kids saying they look up to me, it is something I really want to pass along. The power and the strength that you have in Jesus Christ is a special thing.” Taylor says that the difference having Jesus in his life has made is “literally like night and day”. He says: “I can’t help but smile and feel that strength as I say it. It is literally a different strength, almost like having wings. For people who don’t have it, it is hard to explain. I wake up and it is like I have an extra boost.” Although Taylor is American, he lives and trains in Loughborough with his coach Rana Rieder, so us Brits can take some of the credit if he wins! Will Claye is another American who will be a strong contender. He was second behind Taylor in the London

Picture supplied by Action Images

REUTERS/Robert Galbraith/Picture Supplied by Action Images

“I AM OUT THERE TO WIN EVERYTHING I PUT MYSELF INTO. SO THE WIN DID NOT SURPRISE ME, BUT THE DISTANCE DID.”

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SPORT Olympics (17.62) and third in the 2011 World Championships (17.50). He beat Taylor in the 2012 World Indoor Championships with 17.70; longer than he has ever jumped outdoors. Claye is also a top-class long jumper, taking bronze at the London Olympics. Claye started out as a long jumper, but his high school coach suggested that he try the triple jump. It worked, and he has continued to do both. He says: “A lot of people aren’t able to do that, but I have been blessed to be able to do both at an elite level and I am just going to take advantage of it and, if it is God’s will, I will go out there and do both long and triple. In training I do different things for each one. “I have long jump day or a triple jump day at practice. It is a completely different run up approach; completely different drills. The technique is completely different for each one. You really have to be prepared for each one. As long as I can, I plan to do both… all my career if I can. If I qualify and get the standards I will do both at all the meets I go to.”

“I DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. I SAY MY PRAYERS AND HAVE MY FAITH AND JUST GO.”

The World Athletics Championships take place August 10-18 in Moscow. The men’s triple jump final is on Sunday, August 18 at 1.45pm.

Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and about sport, and spends his life trying to help people see the connection. He has written several books on Christianity and sport and worked as a writer at the 2008 Olympics, the 2009 World Athletics Championships and spent a month in South Africa watching and writing about the World Cup. Married to Lynne with two grownup children, he is a member of Kidlington Baptist Church and Frilford Heath Golf Club.

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Action Images / Matthew Childs Livepic

he admitted that he “was very emotional and really happy, particularly as 17.70 is such a big distance”. The fact that it happened in Gothenburg made it even more special. “This is the place where the history of triple jump has been written,” he says. “I know that Christian Olsen set a world record here, and also Jonathan Edwards. Now I am happy to be like them – well, close to them rather than like them – having jumped as far as 17.70. This result gives me hope for the outdoor season. Now I have to start working hard in order to get a good result in Moscow as well.” Daniele celebrated his win by running around the arena in a t-shirt with the words “Jesus lives in me” on it. He told Sorted afterwards: “I am a follower of Jesus. I have a strong faith in God and that helped me a lot in the competition, because I was not in the best physical condition. “I have been praying to God throughout the competition, asking for his help. I believe that I am a successful athlete because of my faith. It gives me so much strength. I don’t jump for myself, but for God’s glory. I take great strength from my faith. I always remember the verse in the Bible, that with God’s strength we will be able to move mountains [Matthew 17:20].” Britain’s best hope in the triple jump is Phillips Idowu, who was 2009 world champion (17.73) and also took silver in the 2008 Olympics (17.62). However, he did not look fully fit at the 2012 Games, where he failed to make the final; only managing 16.53 in the qualifying competition. Let’s hope he can recover his form and fitness for 2013. Two other contenders are Nelson Evora, who won the 2008 Olympics (17.67) and the 2007 World Championship (17.74) but has struggled with form and injury over the past four years; and Teddy Tamgho of France, winner of the World Indoor (17.90) in 2010, who has a personal best of 17.98. Sadly, he missed the 2012 Olympics through injury. So there is a good chance that the triple jump gold medal will go to a Christian, and possibly a Taylor too. I

REUTERS/Phil Noble/Picture Supplied by Action Images

Claye has some British blood in his veins, including that of a British grandmother. In fact, with his grandmother, brother and aunt all living in London, Will opted to stay with family in West Ham rather than sleeping in the Olympic Village during the 2012 games. Claye grew up in a Christian household and made his own decision to follow Jesus during high school. He sums up the difference knowing Jesus makes: “I don’t worry about anything. I say my prayers and have my faith and just go. I don’t have to worry about nothing. A lot of people go out to the competition worrying, ‘Oh, I had this little feeling in my leg, or so and so is going on in my life’. I can go out there worry-free and do what I have to do. “I just think that track is what God has given to me to be a blessing to other people, and this is the stage he put me on. I think everyone has got their own blessing that they have received from God, and this is what he has for me at this time of my life.” Claye draws strength from the Bible, and Psalm 91, in particular, which says: “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty… A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you”. He says: “The psalm reminds me that God has given me the strength. “Ten thousand may fall at your feet. Bad things may be going on around you, but it will not come onto me. I will be fine if I keep faith in God. It shows that He strengthens you and you don’t have to worry about anything. Just go ahead and do what you have to do.” Claye regards the Bible as “a great book”. “That is the way you can get closer to God, by reading the Bible,” he claims. “Keep your head in the Bible, read it and understand it and you will be fine.” He made the point by holding up a Bible as he celebrated his success at the London Olympics. Claye and Taylor are close friends, and you might think that would make it hard to compete against each other. However, Taylor says: “Will and I going to the same university, we always push each other and at the same time support each other, on and off the track: spiritually, mentally, academically, all round. Before we compete, we pray for strength and guidance.” The winner of the 2013 European Championships was Daniele Greco from Italy, with a personal best of 17.70. Greco came fourth in the 2012 Olympics. When Daniele won the 2013 European Championships,

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The

in the World

BY STUART WEIR

helly-Ann Fraser-Pryce is simply the fastest woman in the world. She won the Olympic 100 metres title in Beijing 2008 and successfully defended it in London 2012. Let’s get the double hyphen out of the way right at the start. Born Shelly-Ann Fraser, she added Pryce when she married Jason Pryce in January 2011. Jamaican sprinting is on the crest of the wave right now. Of the 12 individual sprint medals on oﬀer at the 2012 Olympics (men’s and women’s 100 and 200 metres), Jamaica won eight – plus silver and gold in the two 4 by 100 relay races. Yet the country’s population is below three million people, making it just the 139th biggest country in the world. That dominance really started in 2008 when Usain Bolt set the Bird’s Nest stadium alight by winning the men’s 100 and 200 metres, as well as anchoring the 4 by 100 relay to victory: completing all three races in world record

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time. While Bolt took the headlines, the Jamaican women were equally impressive, recording a 1-2-3 in the 100 metres and gold and bronze in the 200. Jamaican sprinting had come of age! Shelly-Ann’s victory in the 2008 Olympic 100 metres final was a remarkable achievement. The previous year she was only Jamaica’s fourth best sprinter. She gained a relay silver medal at the 2007 World Championships, but was not selected for the individual 100 metres. In Beijing, she won her heat, her quarterfinal and her semi-final. In the final she ran 10.78 to beat compatriots Sherone Simpson and Kerron Stewart in the Jamaican clean sweep. Even Shelly-Ann was surprised by the win. “I was inexperienced. I was young and I never believed I could win,” she says. Jamaica qualified for the 4 by 100 relay final with the fastest semi-final time, but the race was a disaster as they failed to get the baton round. Shelly-Ann won the 100 metres at the 2009 World Championships in Berlin, making her only the second ever woman to be

Action Images / Jason O'Brien

Fastest Woman

simultaneously World and Olympic champion in the 100 metres. Jamaica got the relay changes right in Berlin to take gold in the 4 by 100. The 2011 World Championships were a disappointment for Shelly-Ann as she finished fourth in the 100 metres, which was won by American sprinter Carmelita Jeter. The Americans also took relay gold with Jamaica coming in second. The women’s hundred metres was one of the highlights of the 2012 Diamond League series. While Usain Bolt, Yohan Blake and Tyson Gay rarely race each other, Carmelita Jeter and Shelly-Ann never shirked a confrontation. In fact, Shelly-Ann is a little critical of the men for avoiding each other: “I definitely think there should be a lot more clashes. You would get a lot more excitement instead of just one top athlete competing. “You have seven of the best female athletes in the world competing in one race as opposed to one male athlete who is dominant with 15 others and he gets most of the attention. In the women’s race we have seven of the best in one race.” She also thinks this is good preparation for major championships: “My coach would say when you go into a championship there isn’t going to be anything different because you have raced these people over and over again. He is sick and tired of persons going into a major championship and feeling extra nervous and getting butterflies when you have been racing these people consistently. For me, when I get on the line in a major championship, it’s like: ‘I raced her last week in Zurich’.” Shelly-Ann came top in the 2012 Diamond League series, winning in New York and Zurich with second places in Paris, Rome and London’s Crystal Palace. That set her up nicely for a busy programme at the London Olympics, where she was not only defending her Olympic 100 metres title, but also going for a medal in the 200; not to mention the relay. The Jamaican sprinter won the 100 metres final in 10.75 with Jeter coming in second. She said afterwards: “London’s completely different to Beijing, because here I believed I

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Speaking about her faith, she says: “Believing in the God I believe in has worked miracles in my life. I know God for myself, so I am able to say, ‘thank God’, because I know who He is and I know what He has done in me and through me. “So my faith is very important and at the forefront of everything I do. I believe that everything I have, every gift I have is from Him, and He has given it to me for a reason. The purpose He has given me has shown me how to live and how to experience life diﬀerently. It motivates me and directs my life.” Despite all her successes, there have been hard times. She went into the 2011 World Championships as defending champion and Olympic champion, but Carmelita Jeter won the title with Shelly-Ann coming fourth. In the ﬁnal race before the Olympics, the Crystal Palace Diamond League event, she placed only eighth. Where is God on days like that? She feels her faith keeps it all in perspective: “A lot of persons would believe that if you don’t win, God is not there, but he is always there. It does not matter if I win or lose. Just to

“Everything about me has changed: where I am from, where I am going. He has totally shifted the paradigm. He has set me on a diﬀerent course and I am loving the course. I am enjoying my life more than I have ever enjoyed it before.” The big event in 2013 is the World Championships in Moscow. On August 12 at 6.50pm, Shelly-Ann is due to go for gold in the 100 metres. Get it in your diary now! I REUTERS/Eddie Keogh/Picture Supplied by Action Images

“A LOT OF PERSONS WOULD BELIEVE THAT IF YOU DON’T WIN, GOD IS NOT THERE, BUT HE IS ALWAYS THERE. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I WIN OR LOSE.”

be able to stand on the line and know I am a child of God makes me special, makes me able to say, ‘OK, whatever I am doing today is for Him’. And I hope that by me running He’ll get the glory and He’ll enjoy it as much as I am enjoying it. “I believe we are given special abilities, gifts and talents for a purpose, and I also believe there is a time for everybody. There is a time for me to be at the top and there is a time for somebody else to have their time. When I run, the first thing I say [to God] is: ‘I hope you are pleased with my worship’, for running is my worship; my way of worshipping Him, because He has given me the talents.” According to Shelly-Ann, part of her preparation for a race is to remind herself of God’s promises: “I always say that He has given me a spirit of boldness and never a spirit of fear. So I should not fear. Why should I fear when God is controlling everything and His will will be done? “I also say to myself: ‘Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world.’ What more can I have than that Jesus is inside me? There is nothing in this life that I fear. I fear God, but the fear I have for Him is different, because the fear I have for God is reverence in His presence. In everything I do I am aware that there is someone greater and more powerful looking over me, and He is the person who warrants anything in my life.” Shelly-Ann sees real practical differences in her life through knowing Jesus: “I no longer fear things that I used to fear, like planes. When I go on planes, I was really afraid like I am cringing; I can’t stand it. But knowing that I have a personal relationship with Him, I am able to sit on the plane and I am OK; I am covered, I am protected.

REUTERS/Kai Pfaﬀenbach/Picture Supplied by Action Images

could win. This time I was a bit nervous, but I believed in God and I trusted him to carry me through.” That she was only the third woman ever to defend this title delighted her. “I don’t know much about track history, but I am honoured to be part of a club like that,” she says. She was also thrilled that in London the women’s 100 metres was scheduled before the men’s, giving her the honour of winning Jamaica’s first gold medal in 2012. In fact, the achievement had added significance, as 2012 marked Jamaica’s 50th anniversary of independence from England. Four days later, Shelly-Ann was in the 200 metres final taking silver behind Allyson Felix; not bad for her first major championship 200 metres competition! Team USA took the 4 by 100 relay, breaking the world record and Jamaica came second. Shelly-Ann said: “The Americans were better than us, but we have had enough celebrations in Jamaica already.” One gold and two silvers wasn’t a bad London haul for Shelly-Ann and she loved the whole London experience: “I would definitely say that the London Olympics, crowd-wise and atmosphere wise has been really great, because when I entered the stadium I found myself starting to rock. They were playing music and the crowd was cheering. As an athlete who wants to be totally focused and zoned in, I found myself rocking to the music and zoned in. It was a great atmosphere, I really liked it.” Shelly-Ann, who often thanks God publicly after races, says that her faith in Jesus Christ is an important part of her life. Despite being a Christian most of her life, she admits that she “went away from the Church” in her teens but is now back in the fold.

Unsung Hero Despite her amazing achievements, Shelly-Ann never seems to get the recognition she deserves. Asked if she is recognised when she goes out, she replies: “I go to the supermarket and people recognise me … and they ask me, ‘How is Usain Bolt?!’”

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Action Images / Jason Cairnduﬀ Livepic

SPORT

BY STUART WEIR

afael Nadal is best known to people in the UK for his epic victory at the 2008 Wimbledon Men’s Singles Final, in a game often referred to as the greatest ever Wimbledon final. It was Nadal’s third successive Wimbledon final; all were against Roger Federer. In 2006, Federer beat him 6-0, 76, 6-7, 6.3. The Swiss athlete repeated his victory in 2007, although Nadal took him to five sets before losing 6-7, 6-4, 6-7, 6-2, 2-6. The 2008 final was epic, with rain delays adding to the tension and Nadal rushing into a 2-0 lead (6-4, 6-4). Then Federer won the third and fourth sets on tiebreaks. The final set finished in near darkness with Rafa gaining his first Wimbledon title 9-7 in the final set. Nadal was originally seen as a clay court specialist. He won the French Open seven times between 2005 and 2012. However, his game has developed to the point where he has added an Australian Open, two Wimbledon titles and a US Open to his repertoire. He also won Olympic Gold at Beijing 2008. The last year has been difficult for Nadal as tendonitis in his knee caused him to miss much of the season. A stomach virus delayed his comeback this year, but he is now showing signs that he is returning to form. With Wimbledon just round the corner, Sorted caught up with Rafa just before the French Open (May 21-June 9). Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

How did you feel after seven months out with the knee injury? I always have very high expectations of myself, so I think that I can still play better. The feelings are positive and step by step I am recovering my form to be competitive against the best players in the world.

Some people questioned whether you would recover your previous high level… Look at the results. I am tremendously grateful to have been given a new opportunity in tennis. To be in second place in the ranking this year has exceeded my expectations. And not only because [of] how I’ve been feeling out on the court, but also because it is the fruit of all the hard work in getting back to form over these last few months.

Did you fear you would never return to competitive tennis at the highest level? Never. Something which has always been part of my make-up is perseverance and eﬀort. I have become what I am thanks to hard work and eﬀort. The left foot injury in 2005 was worse. That caused me to have doubts about my future, but I am still here doing battle.

Has your game changed at all through the lay-off and return to tennis? I am not good enough to change my game. I try to be competitive on all surfaces and work hard to increase my ﬁtness.

Back inthe Game Will you play with the same aggression as before?

I try to play to the maximum, but when one has had a long period without competing, your body requires retraining and it is in those moments when problems may arise. I have some doubts about whether I can fulﬁl the schedule that I have planned.

What are your goals for 2013? That’s easy: get back to the level where I was before. During the ﬁrst six months of the year 2012, I played sweet. The challenge is to get back to that level.

Do you think the layoff will make your opponents see you as more vulnerable than before? It is possible that rivals give you more respect, but respect you earn it every day and that’s what really counts when it comes to the truth.

How will you approach Roland Garros? As if it is the ﬁrst time to play there! And after a few good tests on the European clay courts.

What makes Paris so special for you? One thing is the way tennis is understood and valued there. Since childhood I had always dreamed of playing on the Centre Court, and that dream has been fulﬁlled. Since then I’ve been climbing in stages. But I always feel a special tingle as the dates of the French Open approach.

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Nifty Nadals Nadal’s uncle Toni is well known as Rafa’s coach, but he’s not the Spanish star’s only sporting uncle. Miguel Ángel Nadal played more than 200 football games for Barcelona and gained 62 caps for Spain, featuring in three World Cups!

And Wimbledon? Wimbledon is a temple of tennis. And the grass is a special challenge for the player who wants to be perfect. If I had not won, there would be something missing in my achievements.

Has your philosophy of life changed at all? No. I am the same Nadal that I was before, with jokes and smiles. I want to enjoy everything in life and that includes the world of tennis.

How have you achieved what you have in tennis? By my own hard work and the support of my people and my team. And also knowing how to stop thinking about the racket sometimes; they say that also about playing poker. Strategy and tactics are also important. I have learned more and things have gone well for me. I have been able to apply some of this to my tennis.

What happens when you stop playing competitive tennis? I have not really thought about it, but doing nothing is not an option. Probably something related to tennis – coaching perhaps – but I’m still not giving much thought to it at the moment.

You have done some excellent publicity shoots. Does the world of cinema or television appeal to you? I’m just an athlete. I spend much time in the spotlight as well as ﬁlming and photography sessions. It takes a lot of eﬀort, even if it seems to be easy. I respect very much the work of the artists, but for now give me a racket and I will try to keep winning tournaments. I

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HEALTH & FITNESS

FITNESS With Phil Baines

chances are, you won’t enjoy it and will probably end up injured. Start off with one mile and don’t be afraid to mix running and walking to begin with. Try to do this three times a week.

Mix it up Whatever you are training for, vary your programme. For example, run and/or walk one evening, rest the next day, do some circuits on day three, rest for two days, run on the sixth day and rest on the seventh. Then, as you get a bit fitter, you can introduce some hill work, interval training and so on. On your rest days, it’s perfectly reasonable to do some swimming, cycling or evening walking; however this leads nicely to the next point.

MAKE THE MOST OF OUR HOT AND SUNNY WEATHER, ENJOY EXERCISING WITH FRIENDS, AND CHOOSE A GOAL.

Rest and recovery time The body needs to rest and recover, and it will thank you for this. Rest gives tired muscles time to rebuild, and tired and aching joints time to recover. As you begin to exercise, you may find it helps you to sleep. Try to get some good sleep, as this is the time when the body repairs itself best.

Get off-road

Happy Holidays

e are fast approaching the holiday season, time for a break from the hurly-burly of everyday life. This year we are guaranteed to have a hot and sunny summer (is that a pig I see ﬂying)! Oh well, whatever the weather we will have a good time. But do we enjoy our fitness and exercising or just endure it? Is it something we look forward to or just a means to an end; something to get through and get done as quickly and easily as possible? It is amazing how many people begin exercising and do six or seven weeks of a course or programme. They really see and feel the benefits, but then can’t go for a couple of weeks or pick up a niggling injury and suddenly stop. They do say that gym membership is ‘money worst spent’: not because it’s a bad idea, but because people pay Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

and then don’t go. So here are a few tips to help you enjoy the summer months, and hopefully you’ll keep fit too:

Try to have some kind of goal or challenge to work towards Make it a shared goal; something to do and train for with others. It always helps in training if you know you’ll be letting others down by not doing it. It’s also really good as a social activity. You will find you get to know people in a really deep and meaningful way by training for and completing some kind of challenge.

Don’t start off too quickly By this, I mean that if you haven’t done much before, don’t run five miles straight off. The

There are several reasons for this. Firstly, it’s good to discover new footpaths, beautiful scenery and wildlife. Speaking with lots of runners and hearing their stories, it’s obvious that being off-road is good for the spirit and mind, as well as for the body. It can often help with depression, and it’s a great time to switch off. Secondly, it’s very good for your body. When you’re off-road, your leg muscles need to react to changes underfoot. Over time, your ankles will become much stronger and while your knees will need to work harder in one way, they will not suffer the impact of running on the road.

Keep a record It’s really useful to jot down details of your exercise, including duration, location, how it went and whether you have any niggles. Add anything that might have affected your time, for example weather. It’s really useful to look back at these details and monitor your progress. It may feel monotonous at times, but it will be really beneficial. So make the most of our hot and sunny weather, enjoy exercising with friends, and choose a goal that is achievable with some effort. Oh, and have fun. I Phil Baines is passionate about ﬁtness and sport. He recently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge (www.f4tc.co.uk), which oﬀers a range of physical challenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises each challenge and trains individuals and teams to complete them, either for charity or for personal achievement or both. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

NUTRITION With Caroline Gerrie

The Italian Grub

Schools out and we’ve six whole weeks of glorious summer holidays ahead, but whether you’re jetting oﬀ to foreign lands or ‘staycationing’ this year, it’s all about being an Italian stallion wherever you are! Mediterranean cuisine is well known to be one of the healthiest diets in the world, so check out these top foods for summer. I pomodori (tomatoes)

Il pesce (fish)

Fresh or tinned tomatoes are an excellent form of lycopene: an antioxidant found in the red pigment. Research has linked diets that are high in lycopene to lower cancer rates; particularly prostate cancer.

Fish is a source of good lean protein and fish is plentiful in omega-3 fatty acids. These fats protect the arteries and heart and reduce inflammation within the body. Fish that are rich in omega-3 include salmon, mackerel, herring, tuna, sardines and trout.

L’olio (oil)

I fagioli (beans)

Rapeseed, olive and flaxseed oils are rich in omega-3 and 6 fatty acids, which are essential for brain function. Oils are great to add with lemon, herbs and balsamic vinegar for dressings.

Beans are a great source of plant protein. They are high in fibre and easy to add into soups, stews and bolognese sauce. One small portion of beans a day helps with the management of acne. Try threebean and potato salad with a mint and lemon dressing; it’s really tasty.

Le verdure a foglia verde (leafy greens) Rocket, watercress, kale, cabbage and spinach are great sources of fibre and contain antioxidants such as beta-carotene and vitamin C.

La pasta Switch to wholewheat pasta as this has a lower glycaemic index (GI) than white pasta. This keeps your blood sugar levels steady throughout the day rather than spiking then crashing, which causes energy slumps.

La frutta (fruit) All types of fruit, from apples to watermelon, are low in calories but bursting with fibre, vitamins (A and C) and minerals (potassium and magnesium).

Il broccolo (broccoli) Broccoli is bulging with fibre and antioxidants and is a member of the cruciferous family (along with cabbage, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts), which contain isothiocyanates; cancer-fighting compounds.

L’aglio (garlic) Garlic helps to reduce bad cholesterol and regulates high blood pressure. Make sure you store garlic away from light and heat.

I peperoni (sweet peppers) Peppers, with their jewel-bright colours – red, green, yellow and orange – add a splash of colour to any dish. And they are full of

immune-boosting vitamins A and C. Homemade roasted pepper soup is an instant pick-me-up!

Noci e semi (nuts and seeds) All nuts have superb nutritional qualities. Walnuts have nutrients to increase the good HDL (high density levels of cholesterol) in the blood. You can add walnut oil to pesto sauce and stir it into pasta dishes. Almonds are high in vitamin E, a powerful antioxidant that is thought to protect against diseases such as Alzheimer’s. Almonds are great in breakfast cereal.

Il vino rosso (red wine) Yes, the occasional glass of red wine can be good for you! Drinking a glass of red wine with your meal may help to reduce the risk of heart disease. Look out for ripe, seasonal fruit and vegetables. I can guarantee that by using these staple foods on a daily basis and ditching the beers and sugary/fast foods, you will have boundless energy, stamina and bounce in your life. Oh, and buon appetito! I

Caroline Gerrie is a registered nutritional therapist and runs a clinic in West Sussex. She is also a founder of Trade Aid International. In a world of pressure, both in the workplace and at home, Caroline has a passion to see people ‘ﬁt for purpose’, not only spiritually but physically, too. Caroline is married to David and they have three children.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

LIFESTYLE DOC With lifestyle expert Dr Chidi (MBBS, BSc) The good news is that clogged arteries to the penis can be reversed in the same way as heart disease (clogged arteries to the heart). By changing your diet to a low-fat, plant-based diet that is high in vegetables, beans and whole grains, and by increasing your daily aerobic exercise to 30-45 minutes per day, those arteries will quickly start to open up again.

BELIEVE ME,YOUR DOCTOR HAS SEEN IT ALL BEFORE AND SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL AT EASE.

Increasing the radius of the artery by just 7% can give an increase in blood volume of more than 200%. If you’re able to make these simple changes, you may be able to avoid medication or at least reduce the dosage and length of time on them. It will also help your heart and all your other organs to keep pumping away! I

fter watching too many episodes of Law & Order, one could be forgiven for thinking that there are only two forces that drive most men: the desire for money and the desire for sex. To lose a job or the ability to earn money is a serious thing. To lose the ability to make love is a disaster! Impotence or erectile dysfunction (ED) is characterised by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual performance. A penile erection is achieved by the hydraulic effect of blood entering and being retained in the sponge-like bodies within the penis. This causes the penis to become hard and erect to aid sexual intercourse. The Massachusetts Male Ageing Study revealed that 52% of men aged 40-70 had experienced ED (mild 17%; moderate 25%; severe 10%). Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

There can be many reasons for ED, such as side-effects of medication, MS, depression and stress. By far the biggest cause of ED (more than 50%) is atherosclerosis, where the arteries that supply the penis are narrowed due to deposits of cholesterol and fat in the vessel walls. This is obviously serious, because if the arteries supplying the penis are getting blocked, so are the arteries supplying your heart, brain, kidneys and so on. This means that you are at high risk of heart disease, hypertension and stroke. In fact, the research tells us that 25% of men diagnosed with ED will have a stroke within five years! So that’s very serious indeed. So, what do you do if you have ED? The first thing to do is see your GP immediately. Don’t wait a few months or years as many men do due to embarrassment. Believe me, your doctor has seen it all before and should make you feel at ease.

The Importance of Impotence

Dr Chidi is president and founder of the British College of Preventative and Lifestyle Medicine, member and advisor to the American College of Lifestyle Medicine, and has more than 15 years of experience as a national and international health and motivational speaker. Email him on drchidi@mac.com or follow him on Twitter (@drchidi247).

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HEALTHY COOKING With Chef Mike Darracott

Red Berry Health Bars Serves 5 people

INGREDIENTS 1 drop of vanilla essence 1 large, beaten ripe banana 2 tablespoons of apple sauce 2 tsp water 180g oats 40g sesame seeds 2.5 tbs honey 90g sunflower seeds 60g light brown sugar 1 tsp ground cinnamon 75 dried cranberries

METHOD Preheat your oven to 180째C/350째F/gas mark 4 1 Grease a 20cm by 30cm baking tray. 2 Into a bowl go your oats and nuts. Place these to one side for a moment. 3 Melt your honey with the water and mix with apple sauce and cinnamon in a saucepan. Mix together well for a couple of minutes. 4 Add all the other ingredients and mix these well. 5 Finally, add the oats and nuts you put aside and mix these in, then spoon the mixture into your baking tin. 6 With a dampened knife, add score marks widthways and lengthways to make your desired size of bar, and then bake in the oven for 25 minutes. 7 After baking, leave the mixture to cool down and then break your bars along the score lines.

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cooked for more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has published several books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

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HUMOUR

TONY VINO

In Vino Veritas

Hold the Phone!

I had moment of clarity. Perhaps I have become a technology snob. Was it so bad that Laura decided to halt the relentless consumer onslaught of each device that purports to make your life shiny new and complete? So what that she has to use a pen to copy out by hand the information for each Facebook invite? So what that every time someone tries to send her a picture message she just gets a long text with loads of random symbols, as though her phone is doing one big swear word? So what that in order to play Angry Birds she has to throws rocks at real pigeons? She uses her Filofax to write in diary dates and her phone to make phone calls (as well as to cause moderate damage to walls). She is not looking for them to do anything other than what they were designed to do. She has no need for either device to help her navigate through the B roads of Norfolk, decode alien transmissions or look at boobies (she has two of her own, anyway). I began to feel remorse for all those devices I had flippantly discarded to make way for the new. My life flashed before me like a Generation Game-style conveyor belt displaying a forlorn array of abandoned technologies. My old academic diaries, a Rolodex filled with forgotten acquaintances, dial-up internet wires, a rusting typewriter, a PDA complete with cracked screen, a word processor, telex machine, calculator watch, rotary dial telephone and mini-cassette

answering machine… I can’t look anymore, what a monster! I felt a sudden urge to fax an apology. Is there anyone left who can receive my needy beeps?

SHE HAS ONE OF THOSE INDESTRUCTIBLE, STALINIST-LOOKING NOKIAS FROM THE ’90S THAT ARE DESIGNED TO BE THROWN AGAINST A WALL AFTER AN ARGUMENT WITH NO DAMAGE.

y friend Laura still uses a Filofax, even though this isn’t the ’80s and she’s not an annoying yuppie. One night while arranging a date, I tried convincing her to switch to Google Calendar. She was wholly resistant, arguing she prefers a diary system that doesn’t rely on electricity, to which I replied: “Yes, but you still need to switch the light on to see it!” When I suggested she synch her diary with a smartphone, she passed out. Her mobile phone is not even close to being smart. A Tamagotchi has more RAM. She has one of those indestructible, Stalinist-looking Nokias from the ’90s that are designed to be thrown against a wall after an argument with no damage caused (except for a dented wall). What flummoxed me is that she has a Twitter account and regularly tweets from her phone, even though it was built before social media was invented; sometime in the Cretaceous period, I believe. She texts each tweet to a particular number, which automatically updates her profile. I’m not sure what the number is, it could be her mum’s. It struck me as an odd system, like someone using a telegraph to send an email. I proudly showed her my iPhone, with its dizzying array of apps. The best thing she could do was Snake. She won that one, I flippin’ love that game!

From now on, before getting the latest shiny new device, I’m going to ask myself, do I really need this? I had truly learnt a valuable life lesson from Laura that day: perhaps it was my attitude, not her phone, that needed the ‘upgrade’; my heart that needs constantly renewing rather than my Orange contract. I was about to give a heartfelt thanks, but then her pager beeped, so she had leave. I Tony Vino is a professional stand-up comedian who straddles the worlds of comedy clubs, corporate entertainment, churches and festivals. He co-hosts a weekly podcast for men with Alex Willmott, which is available on iTunes.

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HUMOUR

CARL BEECH

The Last Word

Multiple Bogeys Inbound

he other day I was immensely privileged to be given a tour of a brand spanking new Royal Navy Type 45 Destroyer. It’s a highly advanced stealth destroyer: apparently, it can appear on a radar as a little fishing boat and then creep up on its prey. This ship is tooled up with toys and weaponry to the max. I gather it has five times more fire power than older versions and is supported by a highly advanced radar system that can track targets hundreds of miles away and then destroy them.

MY OWN RADAR IS ABLE TO TRACK AND IDENTIFY MULTIPLE TARGETS, AND IS ALSO LINKED TO A HIGHLY EFFECTIVE WEAPONS SYSTEM.

know and would not want them to go out with them. This may sound harsh to some of you, but I see my role as being there to protect my daughters and not hand them over to a potentially predatory, hormonal teenager. Having been one, I know the score. So, inevitably the day came when my eldest – who will turn 15 later this year – announced that a boy (let’s call him “Tango 1”) wanted to go out with her. We duly arranged a meeting. Sadly for Tango 1, he pitched up with his mate Tango 2 just as my beloved lawnmower blew up, putting me in a slightly distracted mood. The pep talk went like this: (Shake hands firmly.) Me: I understand you want to take my daughter out. Tango 1: Eerrr yes. Me: You need to know that my daughter is very, very precious to me. (Tango 1 shuffles nervously.) Me: Please put my daughter first when you are out and about. When you are out in a group, make sure you look out for her. She’s your priority, ok? Tango 1: Yes, I’ll do that. Me: If I say to you that my daughter needs to be back at 18.00, what time do you need to

make sure she’s back by? Tango 1: Errr, 18.00? Me: No Tango 1, 17.50. Tango 1: Got it. Me: One more thing, Tango 1. Tango 1: Yeah? Me: Man to man, I also ask that you respect my daughter and her body. Please don’t put your hands where I wouldn’t put my hands. Do these things and we’ll get on just fine. Tango 1: I get it. Me: Thank you Tango 1, have a great time out. I’ve told Emily to be home by 18.00 for dinner with the family… She returned home at 17.45. Good lad. Job well done, I thought to myself. Boundaries put in place. Whether he would follow them or not I couldn’t be sure; but at least it would make him think. My daughter and Tango 1 broke up recently and my tracking system has picked up multiple bogeys inbound. Next time I’ll be trimming the hedge with my petrol strimmer! I Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up Christian Vision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You can follow him on Twitter @carl eech and on Facebook.

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Sorted. Jul/Aug 2013

For example, a ship sailing around the south coast of England can track a plane taking off in Paris, and more besides. As I stood by the seat where the captain sits during an “action”, surrounded by multiple radar tracking screens and fire pedals (yes, the guns and missiles are fired by a pedal, not a big red button), I started to muse about my own inbuilt threat radar. My own radar is able to track and identify multiple targets, and is also linked to a highly effective weapons system. It can track different types of threats from over the horizon, but for the most part it is configured to spot incoming (and mostly slow moving) boyfriends homing in on my teenage daughters. This is a new experience for me, so I started to ask dads who have been through this trauma what they said to prospective boyfriends when they first turned up at the house. For the most part, it seemed that no one said anything and most tried to be their friends. Hmmm, I couldn’t see me trying to be a friend from the start, and I certainly planned on saying something. To cut a long story short, I decided to make a preemptive strike and told my daughters that, should they want to go out with someone, I wanted to meet them first; and that if I felt they were going to be bad news, I would let them

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