Iowa’s online voice for the LGBTQ+ communities, friends, and allies since 2016
GoGuideMagazine.com Life | Culture | Voice | Scene
June 2020
Vol. 4 Issue 10
Equal Justice for all! Summer of Pride 2020
Inside this issue: GoGuide Magazine’s 2020 “Pride Honor Roll” Page 10
FREE - FAST - CONFIDENTIAL, HIV & HEPATITIS C TESTING SERVICES JOHNSON COUNTY PUBLIC HEALTH (JCPH) offers HIV testing to all individuals. In addition, we provide rapid Hepatitis C testing to individuals who qualify. Walk-in testing services are available at the JCPH’s office location from 8:00am-4:00pm, Monday-Friday. In addition, we host several offsite evening clinics through well-established partnerships in the Iowa City community. For more information or to schedule an appointment please call our office at 319-356-6040. Funding for JCPH’s Integrated Testing Services is provided, in part, by Iowa Department of Public Health.
HUMAN IMMUNODEFICIENCY VIRUS (HIV) is transmitted by blood-toblood contact, breast milk, semen, or vaginal secretions. This virus attacks a person’s immune system, making them more susceptible to other types of infections. If left untreated, the virus can lead to Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS). Currently, there is no cure or vaccine for HIV, but improved medical treatment now allows People Living With HIV (PLWH) to experience full and healthy lives. Ways to Prevent HIV: • Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) • Use Protection • Receive Regular Testing • Get Tested
02 GoGuide June 2020
(Continued on page 4)
Together or Apart, we Celebrate .
HAPPY MONTH from Stop
HIV Iowa.
www.stophiviowa.org
June 2020
Pride is
about equality for all. Pride is about honoring the hardwork of change and remembering the hardwork of those who have gone before us in the name of creating change.
GoGuide’s
“Pride Honor Roll” recognizes four this Pride. Page 9
(continued from page 2) Who Should Get Tested HIV? EVERYONE HEPATITIS C (HCV) is primarily transmitted by blood-to-blood contact. HCV is a national epidemic, and kills more people than the next sixty leading infectious diseases, combined. If left untreated, HCV can lead to more serious health problems, including, liver damage, cirrhosis, liver cancer, and death. Ways to Prevent HCV:
• Avoid Blood-to-Blood Contact • Do Not Share Syringes and/or Injection Drug Equipment • Use Protection • Get Tested
Who Should Get Tested for for Hepatitis C? • Those who currently or have ever injected drugs • Those who were born between 1945 and 1965 • Those who received a blood transfusion or organ transplant before 1992 • People Living With HIV For more information visit https://www.johnson-county. com/dept_health.aspx?id=4631 GG
Table of contents Our news; Our way
Life Page 2
Pride Honor Roll Class of 2019 Page 9 Meet the Pride Honor Roll class of 2020 Page 10 Pride Honor Roll Update: Nicole Nisly, M.D. interviews Bruce & Mary Harreld Page 17
Community Voices Page18 Culture Page 24 GoGuide Media 2020 All rights reserved Summer of Pride 2020
Vol. 4; Issue 10 June 2020 Summer of Pride #2 GoGuideMagazine.com Facebook.com/ GoGuideMagazine Publisher & Executive Editor Tim Nedoba Operations Gregory Cameron Photography GoGuide Media
Columnists Julia Freeman Terri Schlichenmeyer Gregg Shapiro Erik Sosa
Graphics/Cover Design GoGuide Media
Website Development AIT, Inc. | GoGuide Media
Social Media & Special Events Reach Out Marketing Local & Online Sales: Reach Out Marketing timr@romllc.us (319) 800-3223 National Sales: Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
Contact GoGuide Magazine at info@goguidemagazine.com or call (319) 800-3223
“We cannot, in good conscience, celebrate Pride Month without acknowledgement of the continuing oppression that Black, Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) face in our nation.” University of Iowa Pride releases statement regarding the cancelation of in-person June Pride activities due to COVID-19 and the recent protests over police brutality and oppression June 2020 Digital GoGuide Special to GoGuide Magazine from University of Iowa Pride
University of Iowa - We cannot, in good conscience, celebrate Pride Month without acknowledgement of the continuing oppression that Black, Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) face in our nation. While we celebrate Pride, we hold space for grieving the current state of our nation, specifically centering the impact of racism and the oppression that our BIPOC siblings endure every day.
Due to COVID-19, our UI Pride celebratory plans have been changed. We are thankful each year to join in Iowa City Pride’s downtown celebrations and will certainly miss the opportunity to do so in 2020. We are, however, prepared to celebrate Pride and engage our community in virtual spaces. Each Monday in June, we will be rolling out content and engagement opportunities on our website (https://diversity.uiowa.edu/ui-pride), all of which fall under the theme of Pride at Home.
“It is our hope that folx will find ways to show their support and Pride in the LGBTQIA community, and that they embrace the activities in a meaningful and educational way”, says Katie McCullough (she/her), UI Pride Co-Chair. (Continued on next page) GoGuide
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sa
By E r
ik So
Wor ld
Erik
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Living life to the fullest By Erik Sosa June 2020 Digital GoGuide
My life is about to change, DRASTI-
CALLY! And, as if finalizing a divorce isn’t tumultuous enough as it is, why not throw in an international relocation for shits and giggles. I mean, seriously though, if I have the chance to start anew, I’ve learn to either go big or go home! Which, by the way, if anyone is in the market for a 6 bedroom, 4.5 bathroom home, with a full walkout basement and jaw dropping patio, please let me know. Also, while I’m at it, I’d like to give a shout out to the Coronas (19 if you will) for helping me and my family encapsulate, solidify and debouch some of the entrepreneurial dreams we have been evaluating for the past three years. Yes Bitches, the Sosa-Kibby family is moving permanently to Bahia Principe, (Erik’s world continued on page 13)
University of Iowa Pride Alliance Center
The content will be centered on activities, crafts, and educational materials for people to enjoy on the web or download and print at home.
These activities are designed for any age and ability to explore their creativity, express their pride, and learn about the history of LGBTQIA movements. Additionally, to bolster our sense of community, we encourage folx to post photos of their activities on social media using the hashtag #UIowaPride. Emma Welch (she/ her), UI Pride Co-Chair, explains, “In times of isolation, fear, and unknown, our goal is to present opportunities for unity, expression, and healing.” GG
GoGuide Magazine’s 2020 Pride Honor Roll
THE INAUGURA a L CLASS OF 2019 PRESIDENT BRUCE HARRELD UNIVERSITY OF IOWA
NICOLE L. NISLY, MD FOUNDER LGBTQ CLINIC UNIVERSITY OF IOWA HOSPITALS AND CLINICS
JACK STAPLETON, M.D. HIV-AIDS CLINIC RYAN WHITE PROGRA a M UNIVERSITY OF IOWA HOSPITALS AND CLINICS
IOWA STATE SUPREME COUT VARNUM V. BRIEN RULING AFFIRMED WITH ALL JUSTICES CONCUR.
THE CLASS OF 2020 IS INTRODUCED ON PAGE 10!
09 GoGuide June 2020
THE CLASS OF 2020 HONOREES Welcome to the second annual GoGuide Magazine’s “Pride Honor Roll.” Each year at Pride, we select a group of notable people, events, or organizations that have had a positive effect on the LGBTQ+ communities in Iowa.
This year we have a distinguished group of five honorees. Their achievements and their impact on history are almost unimaginable.
This new tradition at GoGuide Magazine will continue for years to come. We should view this year’s honorees as every bit as qualified as our inaugural class of 2019.
The 2020 Honorees:
Stefanie Bowers
Equity Director / LGBTQ Liaison Iowa City Human Rights Commission
IIn 2019 Iowa City receives a perfect score on HRC’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI). This is the sixth straight year in which Iowa City earns a perfect score. In fact, of all the cities that received 100 standard points, Iowa City received the fifth-highest bonus in the nation. The Human Rights Commission MEI rates cities based on non-discrimination laws, the municipality as an employer, municipal services, law enforcement, and the city leadership’s public position on equality.
(2020 Honorees continued on page 15)
Kathryn Edel
LMSW | she, her, hers Health Educator, Johnson County Public Health
Kathryn Edel, University of Iowa Alumni, graduated with a Master’s Degree in Social Work, May 2016. She now works as the HIV and Hepatitis C Health Educator at Johnson County Public Health. In this position, Kathryn oversees Johnson County Public Health’s HIV and Hepatitis C Integrated Testing Service programs. Before joining Johnson County Public Health, Kathryn worked as a client advocate at Emma Goldman Clinic, providing client advocacy services and procedural supports, and Mobile Crisis Outreach Counselor at Crisis Center of Johnson County. She now serves on Emma Goldman Clinic’s Board of Directors. Being born and raised in the Iowa City area, Kathryn is invested in improving the health outcomes of marginalized communities in Iowa and continues to strive towards creating a more health equitable climate.
June is National Pride Month How best to recognizing Pride month despite the historic COVID-19 pandemic and social unrest.
Special to Digital GoGuide By Cathy Renna; Principal, Target Cue; specializing in Public Relations and Crisis Communications, LGBTQ Issues and Media May-June 2020
The word “unprecedented� is being used a lot. And it should be.
When 9/11 happened, I was working at glaad and vividly remember wondering in the aftermath when our work would be relevant again. It was, almost immediately. Whether telling the stories of LGBT heroes like Father Mykal Judge and Mark Bingham or exposing the challenges of samesex partners who lost a loved one and had no legal recognition as family, our work was clearly relevant. I did not hesitate this time when the COVID-19 pandemic loomed. I knew there would be immeasurable ramifications for LGBTQ organizations and issues, from the obvious to the more subtle. The truth is we are disproportionately impacted by COVID-19, as was made clear early on by the National LGBT Cancer Network. Especially in LGBTQ media but also mainstream media, the open letter signed by well over 100 national and local organizations outlined how COVID-19 may pose an increased risk to the LGBTQ+ population and laid out specific steps to minimize any disparity. It was an educational (continued on next page)
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(Continued from previous page)
eye-opener for all of us. So many who fought in the trenches of the early years of the AIDS pandemic gave voice to what was similar – and what was not – to better inform the coverage of COVID-19 as it dominated the media.
And it was critical to help the media understand that many of our organizations need to continue not simply despite of, but because of the pandemic. From the Ali Forney Center working their best to provide for homeless LGBTQ youth to SAGE revamping their SAGE Connect program to be there for elders in isolation to a shift in focus and resources by the National LGBTQ Task Force’s high stakes “Queer the Census” campaign, we all pivoted and came up with creative solutions to continue to serve, advocate and give voice to the LGBTQ community.
On the positive side, take Pride, for example. June is a month where LGBTQ people and issues dominate our time, resources and often the news cycle. Having worked with many Pride organizations and last year on WorldPride/Stonewall50, I immediately started thinking not only about the impact of what could happen in this surreal, frightening and isolating world we all now find ourselves. And I was not alone. Interpride (a client), along with all the other major regional Pride organizations in the U.S., Europe and Asia, announced a virtual Global Pride 2020. Now in the planning stages, many of the hundreds of now postponed or cancelled Prides will participate, in a demonstration of the extraordinary resilience of our community and recognition that Pride, at its core, is about showing every member of the LGBTQ community that they are not alone. We may well be isolated this year, but we definitely not alone. Practically speaking, this can also be done in a climate where many traditional partners and sponsors are in no position to support our organizations as much as usual. We can engage them in creative ways for this online, virtual Pride. WorldPride, indeed. I take great comfort in knowing that I am part of a community that has fought through another pandemic where government response lagged and brave individuals and groups confronted the status quo, from the White House to the pharmaceutical industry. We have a lot to teach the rest of the world and whether it is through advocacy, modeling community (Continued on next page)
(Continued from previous page)
(Erik’s world continued from page 8)
via social media or education through earned media, we should all be mindful that the LGBTQ community and the issues we care about are not only relevant, but integral, in this new paradigm we find ourselves navigating.
Akumal before the 20-21 school year begins.
About the Author: Cathy Renna is a veteran in the communications industry, and currently serves as the Principal of Target Cue. Since her time at GLAAD in the 1990’s and early aughts, Cathy has executed her particular expertise in crisis and strategic communications, playing a central role in shaping nearly all major issues affecting the LGBTQ community, from the beating death of Matthew Shepard in 1998 to the fight for marriage equality and the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”. She most recently worked with the team that coordinated historic coverage for WorldPride/Stonewall 50, working with NYC Pride. After leaving her position at GLAAD as National News Media Director, Cathy joined Fenton Communications, where she served as its New York office Media Director from 2004 to 2006. She went on to found Renna Communications and co-found Target Cue that same year. In her over 25 years of media relations and activism experience, Cathy has garnered placements in every major online and broadcast outlet in the country. GG
Let me explain.
Not long before Cole and Parker were old enough to formulate proper sentences, we spent many years vacationing in Hawaii and California. However, it wasn’t until the boys reached middle school when Mark and I decided a change of scenery was much needed for the boys’ personal growth, development and love of all things culturally diverse. So, after taking one memorable Disney Cruise down the Baja Peninsula to the Mexican Riviera and docking in picturesque seaside towns, we were hooked on phones!
Originally known as the Cancun–Tulum corridor until 1999, the Riviera Maya is a tourism and resort district south of Cancun. And this is where my story actually begins. For the past five years, starting in Cancun, our family has been traveling south every spring break, while soaking up the rays of the Mexican Quintana Roo coastline. As we became more and more familiar with the land, it’s people and it’s culture, in time, we have left the comforts of a resort/hotel lifestyle and now opt for the more flexible AirBnB experience. The ability and flexibility (Erik’s world continued on next page)
13 GoGuide June 2020
(Erik’s world continued from previous page)
Let’s read: Pride at local libraries.
to experience a more local way of life, has allowed me and the children to envision a sun filled future that seems less chaotic and much less stressful June 2020 than the “world” we live in today. GoGuide Digital Will we miss me the comforts of home and the love of friends who we have come to call family? MOST DEFINITELY. But, on the flip side, you never really lose true friends and home is where the heart is. Grindr not included. Yes, we will have tough times ahead, but isn’t that life in general? It’s time for me street my limbs by mentally and physically making a drastic move in my life, and the time just feels right. Mark is on board. My mom is on board. The children are on board. My support system seems to be on a full steam course ahead and I can’t be more happy and scared to see what adventures tomorrow has in store for us. GG
Erik’s World
The COVID-19 pandemic may have forced virtual visits to our libraries, but it still can’t stop us from finding books to read during June Pride Month. Here is a quick summary Iowa City Public Library
ICPL has added a few new book lists for pride month with more on the way! Visit the website for updates at https:// www.icpl.org/books-more/staff-picks. The historical Pride lists can be found: https://www.icpl.org/books-more/staffpicks/lists?combine=pride
Coralville Public Library
Children: https://www.coralvillepubliclibrary.org/children/books-reading Teens: https://www.coralvillepubliclibrary.org/teens/books-more Adults: https://www.coralvillepubliclibrary.org/adults/books-movies-andmusic
Checkout of items is available for contactless curbside pickup at the Coralville Public Library.
University of Iowa Libraries
Celebrate Pride Month: Virtual Pride Month Book Display: https://guides. lib.uiowa.edu/pride. The UI Libraries support anti-racism and amplifying the voices of marginalized people.
North Liberty Public Library
Love, Light & Lit – Pride Month June 15 @ 10:30 am - 11:30 am Contact the Library at https://north-
libertylibrary.org/ for Pride Month reading lists. GG
THE CLASS OF 2020 HONOREES (2020 Honorees continued from page 10)
Randy Mayer, MS, MPH
Chief | Bureau of HIV, STD, and Hepatitis Director | Office of Medical Cannabidiol | Iowa Department of Public Health (IDPH)
IDPH is responsible for the StopHIVIowa.org educational programming. Stop HIV Iowa is dedicated to connecting all Iowans to HIV education, preventive medications (PrEP), testing, and medical and support services. It offers information on PrEP, free HIV testing, and how to live a healthy life as a person with HIV. The goal is to reduce HIV transmission in Iowa by 90% by 2030. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, IDPH has added outreach programs on HIV and COVID-19 to its educational outreach.
I.C Kings
A drag king troupe in Iowa City, bending gender and performing monthly for your voyeuristic delight since 2009.
The I.C. Kings is an Iowa City fixture and a community fundraising leader bringing opportunities for inclusive drag performances that are often unavailable in many other communities. The I.C. Kings is the first organization to be honored in our Pride Honor Roll. An honor very well earned and deserved.
Donna Red Wing
Former Executive Director One Iowa and longtime activist Posthumous recognition
In Iowa, Donna served as executive director of One Iowa for over four years, launched an LGBT Advisory Council during her time as a Des Moines Civil and Human Rights Commissioner, and served as director of the Eychaner Foundation for the last two years. The Des Moines Civil and Human Rights Commission recently named their annual Lifetime Achievement award after Donna in recognition of her decades of activism.
GOGUIDE MAGAZINE CONGRA a TULATES THE 2020 PRIDE MONTH HONOREES
15 GoGuide June 2020
UPDATE 2020: HONOREES CONTRIBUTE TO THE BETTt ERMENT OF THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY June 2020 Digital GoGuide Special to GoGuide Magazine
Editor’s note: University of Iowa President Bruce Harreld and Nicole Nisly, M.D., are “Pride Honor Roll,” inaugural inductees of 2019.
A Family Experience with Gender Transition from the Parent’s Perspective featuring Bruce and Mary Harreld.
“Nicole L. Nisly, MD, Co-Director, LGBTQ+ Clinic, University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics asked Bruce and Mary if they would be willing to be featured in a video for parents visiting the LGBTQ+Clinic. The video is available on digital screens in the clinic for visiting families. After it was completed, University of Iowa Health Care asked if Bruce and Mary would also allow them to post it on their YouTube channel and they agreed. They are proud of their daughter and welcomed the opportunity to assist families experiencing a similar transition” Jeneane Beck (she/her/hers); University of Iowa Assistant Vice President for External Relations.
View the full video interview at https://youtu.be/ihdlju57SLY.
This year Celebrate Pride with the World As local Pride events are postponed around the world and here at home, this is a Pride Month highlight. June 2020 Various contributors Digital GoGuide
The COVID-19 pandemic has had a devastating impact on Pride organizations worldwide, with hundreds of marches and events canceled or postponed. Global Pride provides an opportunity for the LGBTI+ community around the World to come together and celebrate diversity and equality during these challenging times.
Global Pride 2020 was launched on 1 April as a partnership between InterPride, the European Pride Organisers Association, and national Pride networks in several countries, including United States Association Prides. A team of volunteers is leading it from every region of the World who are all committed to ensuring everyone can take part in Pride this June. Visit https://www.globalpride2020.org for complete schedule of events.
17 GoGuide June 2020
Community
Voices
GoGuide talks real estate with Aaron O’Tool of RE/MAX Concepts
GoGuide (GG): When it’s time to select a real estate agent, it’s essential to many in the LGBTQ community to feel comfortable with that agent and real estate company. So, what should a person look for when selecting an agent or company to represent them? Aaron O’Tool (AOT): An LGBTQ individual should select an agent that they can trust and be comfortable around. I always set up buyer and seller consultation meetings to get to know my clients/customers and discuss their wants and needs. I am a relationship person and I want to know the people I am working with and I want there to be mutual trust. Being an inclusive individual, I love working with the LGBTQ community. If you talk to anyone I’ve worked with, you will find out quickly that I am very positive, energetic and get along with everyone! GG: Do you find that most people are open-minded and don’t care whether or not the seller or buyer is a member of the LGBTQ community? AOT: The realtors that I know and work with are very open-minded individuals. I don’t surround myself with people who are judgemental or exclusive. GG: Is it a good time for people to be listing their properties or selling their current property? AOT: Recently, there were 259 new listings, 357 pending transactions, and 292 houses sold in the Des Moines area. Yes, I think it is a great time to list or sell! GG: Interest rates are so low right now it must be a buyers and sellers market? AOT: Interest rates are at an all time low. It benefits both buy-
18 GoGuide June 2020
ers and sellers for a number of reasons. Low interest rates are attractive for buyers, but buyers need to understand that the interest rate is based on the loan type, the down payment, and their credit score. Not everybody is guaranteed the lowest interest rate. Low interest rates are attractive to sellers because people are wanting to buy homes. With more buyers, homes are typically not on the market for very long. Sellers, then become buyers, and can also benefit from the low interest rates. GG: What advice would you give people looking to sell right now? Final thoughts. AOT: The advice I would give is get your home ready to sell. Take advantage of the nice weather to prepare your house for the market! Give your house curb appeal (plant flowers, shrubs, etc.), clean up the clutter and paint the interior if you believe it is needed. Next, hire me to get your house sold! The LGBTQ community can trust that while working with me they will feel accepted, valued, and heard. They can trust that they are not just a transaction and our relationship doesn’t end at closing. I represent clients all over the state of Iowa and my primary focus is around the Des Moines and Ames communities. I would love to set up a virtual meeting with anybody who has interest in buying or selling homes now, in a month, or even in a year! It is always good to have professional advice about the current market. Contact Aaron O’tool at: P. 515.318.3474 E.aaron@realestateconcepts.net Facebook - Aaron O’Tool Real Estate or @ aaronotoolrealestate
“Coming Out” during COVID-19 & Black Lives Matter movement June 2020 Speical to GoGuide Magazine By Brian Falduto; Life Coach
Whether it was something you started
Community
Voices
brainstorming right away or something that occurred to you somewhere along in the quarantined state of the world, “How can I use this time to reinvent myself?” is likely a question you’ve thought about in the past however many weeks or so. We are in the slow but sure process of unfreezing things and that thawing process is coincidentally coinciding with Pride Season. I feel it’s a good time to discuss how the queer community specifically can “come out” of this stronger as our resilient type tend to do after trying times.
I remember when I finally came out of the closet my senior year of college, I wanted the world to stop for a moment. At that time, when the truth about who I was became non-negotiable, I didn’t know that coming out is actually a healing process. I didn’t know that I would have to spend the next chapter of my life battling 14 years of internalized homophobia and discovering a rejected self that was hidden in shame. Instead, I just waltzed into my twenties completely out of tune with who I was and with very little time to figure it out. I had to navigate my new role as a gay man while finishing college, getting a job, ending a relationship, moving into my first apartment, and all the while having to provide status updates to friends and family that were anything but reflective of what was going on inside. During this healing chapter I didn’t know I was entering, the most important improvements on my relationship with myself have come during the quiet moments. They’ve often arrived right when I’ve started to slow down, or even more often when I’ve crashed and burned from going too fast. They’ve arrived on nights where I was alone with nothing but my own thoughts and feelings to keep me company. And they’ve arrived in the form of hurt. When I look back at some of the perceived tragedies of my twenties, I see that they were actually the biggest moments of growth.
Quiet. Loneliness. Tragedy. Does any of the above sound familiar? Look, we all know at its core that this pandemic is a bad thing with a negative impact. It comes with so many unanswered questions and troubling concerns. But I’d like to propose an additional way of looking at it and that is as the healing time that I, and perhaps we, have been waiting for.
If you think about what being in the closet is, it’s a form of compartmentalization where we disassociate from aspects of ourselves that don’t feel important or worthy enough to present to the world. Those beautifully valid parts of our being get tucked away in the back of our mind and covered with lies and then when the lies get removed, there’s still shame and so then we cover up even more with busy schedules and vibrant social lives and beautiful photos of ourselves posted on Instagram so that no one has to see or deal with the real core of the problem which generally tends to be a lack of love for ourselves. After all, we don’t know who it is that we are loving because we haven’t had the chance to heal. The amount of instant pride we expect from those that come out as LGBTQ after living an incomplete life is basically what it’d be like to ask a brand new dancer to perform triple pirouettes proudly even though they’ve never tried anything like that before. If this time of being quarantined has been particularly difficult for you, a good question to ask is, “Why?” And pay attention to what comes up. Is it something you’ve been avoiding? For me, some of the difficult moments have been the uncomfortable ones where I’ve realized how many aspects of myself were still being skipped over with the hustle and bustle of normal life. When these thoughts and feelings get uncovered after years of collecting dust, they can be a bit surprising. And as anyone who’s ever been in a haunted house knows, not all surprises feel good.
I love Pride Season. I love getting my shortest shorts on and coordinating tank top colors with my friends. I love partying and celebrating a part of myself I never thought I’d even acknowledge, never mind flaunt around the West Village. And it’s okay to grieve the loss of all that. But what if this June is a little less about pride and a little more about healing? It is yourself that you should be most proud of anyway so who better to celebrate it with than you. Perhaps if we get a little quiet with ourselves this year, we can be even louder & prouder next year than we’ve ever been before. I wrote this piece prior to the recent current events involving the Black Lives Matter movement. I want to add that I stand in full support of that messaging and I encourage everyone inside and outside the LGBTQ community to get loud and take the action needed against racial injustice. Let us remember, though, what the Lesbian American writer, feminist, womanist, librarian, and civil rights activist Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.” On the topic of healing, it’s clear that America needs just as much healing as prescribed above for LGBTQ persons, if not more. Let us make sure we lead that effort by doing that work on ourselves while we stand up for what we believe in. We can be of better help this way as it is physically impossible to pour from an empty cup. Follow him on Instagram @thegaylifecoach.
Community Voices
Meet our newest Visionary: Brett Hoffmann
Becoming a leader Visionaries: an ongoing GoGuide series
A column by Julia Freeman Digital GoGuide June 2020
As a lifelong Midwesterner, Brett Hoffmann
has made it her goal to continue supporting the trans community within Cedar Rapids and the surrounding community whether that is through her performance of playing music or through further honing her leadership skills. She’s a software engineer at Collins Aerospace that also serves as the Cedar Rapids PFLAG Transformations Liaison. The evolution from a person seeking support to a leader, the singer and guitarist began gaining confidence in herself and soon became familiar with the voluntary board proceedings. Hoffmann’s mother and manager at Collins Aerospace were the central visionary forces in her own life. “My Mom was always dedicated not to just being a great parent, but also to being an incredibly successful woman within education…seeing her dedication in life has most definitely left a lasting impact on me.” Professionally, her manager impressed Hoffmann when she began the coming out process in the office. “He wasn’t very knowledgeable about anything trans related when I first told him I wanted to come out, but he was incredibly willing to educate himself and listen to my thoughts on the matter.” This combination GoGuide of willingness and interactions seeking to better understand June 2020
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made things less challenging for Hoffmann as she transitioned at the age of 23, after a lifetime of significant confusion and frustration personally. “Thankfully, over the past three years of my transition a significant amount of those feelings have fallen away and have been replaced with peace and confidence about who I am as a person,” Hoffmann explains. She also wants readers to be encouraged to “reach out and find support when you need it. We can’t navigate life on our own-reach out to your friends and family when things are challenging and you need help. Reaching out when you need help is not a weakness, but a source of great strength. Human beings are social creatures, and we cannot bear burdens by ourselves.” Advice she would give her younger self is similar as she says, “be nicer to yourself. A way I had dealt with frustration and confusion about my identity was to lash out at myself. The anger that I had directed towards myself was entirely misguided, and I think I could have had more constructive thoughts about myself and my identity I would have figured myself out much sooner and reached a state of happiness earlier in my life.” She is proud to see the help that PFLAG gives to people. In seeing the change in people’s, many that have had very challenging, lives always is rewarding. “PFLAG provides critical services for support, not just of queer people, but for their loved ones as well. I firmly believe in and support the message of PFLAG and I hope that we can continue to have a positive impact on the queer community in the greater Cedar Rapids area.” The Facebook page is /PFLAGCRIA. They also have an email of pflagcr@gmail. com and are conducting virtual meetings each week.
GoGuideMagazine.com
Coming this summer and fall to GoGuide Magazine July
From HIV/AIDS to COVID-19 pandemic: GoGuide takes a look at the careers of Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx
August
Previewing the future of in-person Arts & Entertainment: How will the performing arts, concerts, visual art displays, and theater look in the future?
September
This GoGuide’s annual Campus Edition: This special issue is expanded in 2020 will preview the local LGBTQ+ scene at more schools than ever. This year GoGuide will preview the upcoming year at the University of Iowa, Iowa State University, University of Northern Iowa, Drake University, and Coe College. General Election Preview Issue
October
November & December
Our most significant holiday issues ever!
GoGuide Sponsored by Prairie Lights Book Store & Cafe www.PrairieLights.com 15 S. Dubuque Street, Iowa City
“Confessions of a Gay Priest” by Tom Rastrelli c.2020, University of Iowa Press 328 pages Book review column by Terri Schlichenmeyer: The Bookworm Sez Digital GoGuide; June 2020
You spent days examining your life. Sins: that’s what you were looking for How had you displeased God? How many lies, covets, dishonors? What have you done since – oh, when was your last confession, anyhow? They say the sacrament is good for your soul, and in “Confessions of a Gay Priest” by Tom Rastrelli, there’s a lot to tell.
Though he’d always known that he liked boys, little Tommy Rastrelli pretended the opposite when he was in gradeschool because marriage was what good Catholics did. His family was devout and Rastrelli never questioned God’s love. Not even after, he says, he was repeatedly molested by a doctor in his Iowa hometown. For several reasons, he never told his parents about the abuse, enduring it for years until he’d convinced them that he was too old for a pediatrician. That God hadn’t saved him from a predator made GoGuide Rastrelli slowly lose his faith and his self-respect. He stopped June 2020
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attending Mass and began questioning the Church’s teachings.
But then God called a shocked Tom Rastrelli to the priesthood. It happened while he was at college, and the whole idea quickly consumed him. Gone was the plan to major in theatre; instead, Rastrelli began to explore a world steeped in mystery and ritual, but overlaid with fear. Always believing that testimony against the doctor could save others from the same abuse, Rastrelli took legal action, knowing that scandal could ruin his chance to attend seminary. There were many things undiscussable, in fact, and the court case was only half of it. As he progressed in his journey to ordination, the secrets included priestly kisses, caresses, and soft lies that a “backrub” was just a backrub. At nearly every gathering, Rastrelli was approached for sex or touched inappropriately, led to believe that celibacy had wiggle-room, plied with alcohol or favors, and left to deal with it alone. He fell in misguided love.
And then he fell into a deep depression, with only one real way out... “The Confessions of a Gay Priest” is a hard, hard book to read – it’ll make you squirm, it’ll make your eyebrows raise, you’ll want to toss it on the street and let semis run it over and yet, it’s stay-up-allnight compelling.
Photo by Frank Miller
Beginning with his ordination (so you know-don’tknow the end of the story), author Tom Rastrelli tells a tale that will further shock Catholics already reeling from church-related scandals. This book, however, is not written in the same manner as is a diocesan document: Rastrelli is sometimes extremely graphic, both in the bedroom and in his various emotional states. He doesn’t pull back the curtains on his experiences, he rips them down and burns them. He used pseudonyms, but tells details before softening his harshness with beautiful language, strong faith, and poetic distractions that play with a reader’s sympathy.
You can’t beat a book like that, though its graphic nature needs to again be underscored. For a reader who can endure a panoply of squirms, “Confessions of a Gay Priest” is worth deep examination. GG
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