Which Way To The Wine? A Guide to Wine Etiquette

Ekta Patel

William Ngari (Namuks Photography)

It’s raining, no wait, it’s pouring wine in Kenya and Nairobi is in the eye of this thunderstorm. Be it Hurricane Riesling from Alsace, Hurricane Malbec from Argentina or Hurricane Syrah from Australia, our shores are being bombarded with the blood, sweat and tears of winemakers across the globe.

What do you need to survive the storm you ask? An iron liver and a little lesson on the etiquette of wine, of course. Stop rolling your eyes while you sip your glass of wine and take in what I have to say. I swear (with my hand grasping my wine glass) that my Ted Talk on vino and my interpretation of “How to Wine”, will fool even the most bougie wine drinkers into thinking you are one of them!

I can hear you asking, what can “proper” wine etiquette do for me? Whether you are at a business dinner, on a date, wine tasting or trying to keep up with your wine-obsessed friends, practising the internationally acceptable ways to drink wine (insert rolling eyes emoji) will impress your audience by making you seem like you are “polished” (insert rolling my eyes so hard emoji).

Nevertheless, here are the 3 wine commandments you can live by:

1. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WINE FOR YOU. DON’T TRY TOO HARD

If you want to be experimental with your wine’s, kudos to you. For everybody else, just pick a wine you are familiar with or ask for the sommelier (person who has studied wines - yes I know, we all want this job!) if there is one. They will be your best friend at a bar or restaurant when it comes to selecting a great wine. It is also worth noting that great wine does not have to be expensive. Don’t let anybody tell you that your Kshs. 1000 bottle of Wine isn’t cool enough to join the party!

2. FILL IT, DON’T SPILL IT!

Fill your wine to just below the halfway level. Wines, like humans, need space to breathe and open up. The extra space in the glass gives you room to swish your wine around (aerating it) and allowing you to enjoy the array of aromatics that this nectar from the gods contains. Take in the aromas by tilting the glass up to your nose (don’t worry if you accidentally pour the wine down your throat during this step). Furthermore, make sure to hold the glass by the stem so you don’t warm up the wine with heat from your hand. Finally, clink your glass gently at its widest point with another glass to avoid breaking it. Why worry about your wine glass breaking? BECAUSE YOU ARE WASTING WINE! Moreover, Google “how wine glasses are made?” so you can appreciate the artistry behind this delicate procedure.

3. WINE LINGO - BINGO!

Spend some time with people who know their wines and you will pick up specific wine-related terms in no time. It will start off as gibberish but by the time you reach the bottom of the glass words like tannins, legs, body, primary aromas, secondary aromas and grape names will become ingrained into your vocabulary.

Wines come in varied colours, flavours and fragrance so familiarise yourself with words like dark fruits, baking spices, hay, spring grass, mushroom, vanilla, oak, peach, rose petal and new leather among other adjectives. Try not to worry if you can’t smell or taste the same things as your wine buddy, a distinct palette is what makes you the perfect wine drinker!

To conclude, I had a friend say to me once, “Ekta, wine is cheaper than therapy” and I have to agree with her. A bottle of wine with some friends and quirky banter is my favourite way to “wine down” after a stressful week of adulting. As we reach the bottom of the bottle, remember the saying goes, “wines get better with age” but I think we can all agree that we get better with wine.